Want to build your dream life? Here's 11 things to STOP doing right now.

In this week's episode of The Mind School Podcast, we're shaking things up with a live, real-time recording! After months of pre-recording and batching episodes, it feels so good to connect with you directly again. 

Tune into this week as I share:

• Personal updates &  my current mindset around fertility struggles
• An apology as I eat my words 
• What separates people who make big life changes and those who stay stagnant
• 11 Reg Flags which keep people stuck 
• How to become the CREATOR of your life and stop feeling like a passenger

It's a big hit of radical responsibility, and it's the gateway to creating your dream life.

If you enjoyed this episode and found it insightful, I’d love for you to take a moment to reflect on your own journey. What were your words or goals for 2024? How are you tracking towards them?  share your thoughts and tag me @iambreannamay

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Transcript

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Music. Welcome to the mind school, the classroom for your mind and soul, where we design our lives from the inside out. Here you will find a human first approach to life, business and relationships, to create freedom, growth and constant evolution through mindset, emotional intelligence, leadership and connection to self. I'm your host, Breanna may educator, CEO mindset and business mentor, and my mission is to teach the things we were never taught at school so that no dream is left on the pillow and no purpose left unfulfilled. Here, you can expect a lot of laughs and thought provoking conversations as we squeeze every drop of juice from this beautiful, precious, crazy thing called life. Hello. Welcome back to another episode of the mind school podcast. It actually feels like it's been so long, and this is the first time in months, actually, that I am recording in real time. I'm recording on Monday, and you'll be listening to this on Wednesday. So hi, happy September. It's been so long since I've recorded something, and then it's been released. That week, I did this thing where I got so organized and batched two or three months worth of content all at once in an awesome studio somewhere in Bali, and that felt really, really good. One of my words for 2024, other than wholesome, which I must say, I've been nailing wholesome. My life feels so wholesome right now, but my other word was structure. What was it? It was structure and planning. And so with that, I went to Bali and recorded two or three months worth of content, and was all done. And my team was like, right? We're good to go for the next three months. But then just this morning, I was thinking, Oh, it feels like I haven't spoken to you because I haven't recorded an episode in a couple months. And so here we are. I think I will go back to batching and going a few months ahead, just for time saving and productivity. It's been so nice, but it also feels really nice to do a bit of a live life update before I jump into today's episode. I just got back from Queensland. It's been nearly two weeks since, no one week since Queensland. And holy moly, I ran the mind school method there. It was absolutely incredible, the most beautiful humans, the most insane transformations, the most life changing reflections and huge epiphanies and breakthroughs, and it was just absolutely amazing. I'm so so proud of the mind school method and everyone who came, and we're running the next one in Perth in just a few weeks. So that's so exciting. And, yeah, I'm really just taking a little bit of time to make sure my energy is coming fully back, so that my cup is full and overflowing for the October round of the mind school method. And then we'll start looking at 2025, dates, which is so, so so exciting. One more little life update. I don't know if I've mentioned Simba on the podcast for a little while, guys, I really feel like I need to apologize to anyone who I may have, even if it was just internally, I rolled at whenever I heard like, you know, I'd listen to podcasts and see these people on Instagram that were like, I'm a dog mom, blah, blah. And I was like, God, get a life. And I've always given so much shit to my bestie, who is an absolute freak. I don't know she's a crazy cat lady, dog lady, any animal. She's just over the top. But I get it, and I'm so sorry I get it. Simba is the love of my life. He makes working from home so much better. He makes life so much better. He adds joy and happiness. And I'm just, I'm so obsessed with my dog, and so I have actually been, yeah, just feeling like it's exacerbated hermit life a little bit. I'm very happy to be just home with my dog. But yeah, Simba is nine months old now, very exciting, and it feels like it's just cracked my heart open. So that's that other little life updates, really is. I guess people often ask about my fertility things, and it really depends what day you ask me, I'll do another episode on that I've sat with, whether or not I'm going to share much about my fertility journey. And I know that a lot of people are interested and intrigued and and a lot of people are actually, you know, sharing in my DMs that they're also struggling, or have struggled with fertility things, and they really appreciate me speaking about it. And so with that, I probably will do an episode, because I realized, even in the last six months, as I've been, you know, on Tiktok and on Instagram and doing research, and I've been obsessed with Australian birth stories and listening to everyone's stories. It. Actually is really helpful, and it's just enjoyable to watch and witness other people's journey. And so I probably will do an episode completely related and dedicated to that. But yeah, that's probably the other big life thing. Business is great. It is a little bit challenging to plan business when you've got this potential looming, maybe I'll be pregnant. That's been, you know, on in the back of my mind for a year now, and looking into 2025 it's the same thing. It's like, Oh, I'll run the mind School in and I look at dates, and I'm like, I don't know. Will I be pregnant? Won't I be pregnant? And I guess it's a little bit of a bittersweet reminder. Every time I run a mind school, it's so funny. I remember having a chat with one of my besties, and I said to her, like, oh, I don't know if I'll launch the mind school yet, because I think I'll be pregnant, and that's going back to this April. Like, I really didn't think I'd be able to run the very first, the very first round of the mind school method, because I was like, No, I'll definitely be heavily pregnant. And, you know, it's coming into planning for 2025, and I find myself going, Oh, I guess I'll just run another one, because I'm not, and I'm not going to be, you know, it's just, I guess, a bittersweet reminder. But in terms of how that's going it's just, it just is what it is. I haven't gotten pregnant yet. I guess it depends what day you ask me, how I feel about that. At the moment, I really feel quite accepting, and I really feel like I've actually landed in a whole lot of surrender. And I talk about surrender so much, and it's one of these things where first it's a mental thing, before it becomes fully embodied. And I think that's that's the process, right? Of any change is first it needs to be mental discipline and mental rewiring and mental discipline to rewire thought patterns and processes and habits mentally before it actually just becomes like an actual embodied, unconscious thing. And now I really do feel like, yeah, that's where I'm at. It'll happen when it happens, and I look forward to when that happens, but until then, I've got a very amazing life. And Simba is amazing, Paul's amazing. We're going to Japan in February with a bunch of friends, so we're just planning a really wholesome, exciting life. And when this stubborn baby would like to grace us, grace us with its presence, we will be happy and excited and waiting. So that's a little quick update. Since it's a it's a live podcast episode week, which is very exciting. I hope you've had a great 2024 and in that I mentioned just now reflecting on my words for 2024, which was wholesome and structure and planning. I'd love to know, or I'd like to invite you just to think about what your words and intentions were for this year, and knowing that we've got still three months to finish out this year, how are you tracking? How is that going? Is it something we need to do a refresh on? It's something I, you know, do quite often, is I look back over my overall goals and intentions, and then I do a little bit of a realignment, and it is coming into the best time of the year. I'm so excited. Spring has sprung. The weather is amazing. I'm starting to think about Christmas and New Year's and travel and being at the beach, but it's also time for reflection and goal setting. I know it's only September, but it's coming into that time, so now's a beautiful time to reflect. And just as I just mentioned, look back over your main words, or even just think about how you'd like to end 2024 and that actually does segue beautifully into today's episode. Today's episode is really a conversation around radical fucking responsibility. I have had the privilege of working with hundreds, if not 1000s, of women at this point and men to help them essentially change their life in some way, change their relationships, or leave their job and start a business, or change the way they show up in their business and grow their business or change some sort of key area of their life. And it's been through years and years of doing this, and even backed by my own research and all my own studies. And what I've observed is that it's very clear now to me who is going to make a change, and who's just going to talk about making a change. And what I really boil it down to is the levels of responsibility, self responsibility, that people have. And the big cock block, or roadblock to radical responsibility is people who really sit in this woe is me victim mentality, and often it's subliminal. It's so it can be so sneaky that they won't even notice they're doing it. And we all do it at times. I know I do it at times, and I pick myself up after I've done it. Am I all right? Pick yourself up. Become more empowered. I'm not saying that we don't have moments, and even sometimes it might be a healthy thing to do to. Have a little moment to be a little victim, to feel sad, to have a tantrum, to have a cry and then Dust yourself off. So to speak. So again, there's nuance to this, and it's more about realizing when you're slipping into that disempowered mentality and not taking responsibility, that's the key indicator that there's not going to be a whole lot of change. So what I've done is I've put together 11 symptoms or signs that I've sort of observed, and they're things just to look out for and to be aware of that can be such a big hindrance to making any change. And like I said, it can be any change at all. So let's go through the 11 signs or symptoms that I would say are like red flags for when you want to make big, radical change, massively up level or evolve in some way. These are the things that are going to stop you. Number one, blaming others. Anytime you find yourself saying because of my boss, because of my husband, because of this person in my life because of the kids, and when it comes from this disempowered, lower frequency energy of they are the reason I'm blaming them for the reason I'm not where I want to be. That is actually a really sneaky strategy that we often use to dissolve ourself of responsibility, and it can even be in the language that we use. And I'm saying this with so much love, but to say things like, Oh, I didn't get to go to the gym today because my boss made me stay late. It's like, okay, but that's blaming your boss for your choice to actually just not go to the gym. Or if you apologize for something, and again, you blame others or something else without taking responsibility. The language might sound like, hey, sorry, I'm late. The traffic was really bad, and it's like, okay, but the way to say that and the way to frame it in our own mind would be like, Hey, I'm so sorry. I'm late. I didn't account for traffic. I will try to be more punctual, it puts the responsibility back on ourselves, and therefore gives us power. Whenever we blame a circumstance, a person or someone else, for the reason that we're not where we want to be, we've completely given our power away, and that's one of the very first signs that I would look at if I was feeling like I'm not in control of my life, or I'm not getting the results I want. Where are you blaming your results or using others or using circumstance as a reason to justify where you're not where you want to be? And how can you flip it and look internally and look at the I statements, I'm not where I want to be because x, I didn't go to the gym, because why? And it could even be just making the choice, look, I made the choice to eat takeout because I wanted to spend time with my kids at the beach instead of cooking. Okay, great. That's beautiful. That's empowered, but that's so much more empowered than saying, oh, because of my kids, I've put on weight, at least saying I may, I've made a conscious choice to go for more convenient options at this season of my life, and therefore no one is copping the blame. And just as a side note to that, when you don't take responsibility, you don't you become someone who's not a safe person to be around. When you don't take responsibility for yourself, you look for scapegoats wherever you can, and you will blame, and the people in your life will have to hold that, hold that burden that you've placed on them because you don't take responsibility. And that's why I said this inside of the mind school, and it's a huge module that we work on, is becoming a safe person, and how you become a safe person, and by the way, if you're a coach or you're a leader or you're a teacher or anything like that, a parent, you need to be a safe person. And to be a safe person, the first thing you need to do is take responsibility and see where you're looking for scape scapegoats to justify where you're not, why you're not where you want to be. The second symptom or sign would be an overall sense of helplessness. It's like this feeling of powerlessness to impact or influence results in your life. So on a scale of one being a passive passenger and 10 being you are the director of your life. You are the creator. You write the script. You know exactly how to create circumstances. Where do you lie on that spectrum? Do you believe that life happens to you and you just are a bit of a tumbleweed blowing in the wind, and you're helpless, and you're powerless to make change, it's outside of your control. Or do you focus on what you can control and be the person to affect change and influence change? And again, in terms of people who are magnetic and charismatic and fun to be around, it's usually those people that have more of that empowered sense of, if I'm not happy, I'll change it, you know, as opposed to someone who feels helpless and they're very you can imagine that person. We all know that person right, someone who's very ho hum. Um, oh, yeah, my boss. Oh, I hate my job, all this, all that, but they're feeling so helpless, they don't actually believe they can make a change, so they sort of stay in their mess. And there's probably a benefit to that, but that's a whole nother topic and another episode. So first one, blaming others. Second one, a feeling of helplessness. And if you resonate with the feeling of helplessness, I really encourage you, and I implore you, to take on the belief that you are the creator of your circumstance. You are the creator of your life. Even when life happens, things happen to you, you still get to choose how to respond to it. That is freedom. Freedom is in your choice of how you respond to things, and when you are in a state of helplessness, you don't believe you have choice. But if we can always come back to choice, we feel so much more empowered. The number three is consistent complaining people who consistently and regularly complain about their situation and don't take any action to improve it. Again, I know this person doesn't actually want to change. They probably want the soothing and the validation and all of the other things that come from their complaining, which almost sounds counterintuitive to say that people get lots of benefits from complaining, but it's true. Often people who complain a lot have got a reason for it and a benefit to it, and they actually love the connection that they get. Every time they complain, they find misery loves companies. So they've got their people to talk to and complain to, and they can actually bond and connect over that. Or every time they complain, someone will say, Oh no, it's not that bad, and validate and soothe them. And so the people who love to complain, they actually love to they often love to complain. They don't actually want to change. It can even be an unconscious bid for affection and connection. But if you really want to change, you would notice your language around consistently focusing on the negatives, and you would really actively choose to be someone who focuses on solutions and really bring some attention to how much you're complaining and bringing that energy into rooms and spaces that you exist okay. The fourth one is ruminating on injustice, and these are the people who just obsess over past wrongdoings or things done to them which prevents them from or in their mind, prevents them or excuses them from making a different choice. So this is a bit of a hard pill to swallow, and it it can sort of ruffle feathers, especially for people who just love to sit in the victim state. The people who blame their childhood blame their parents, because of this that happened when I was six because of this. That happened when I was 10 because my boss did this. Three years ago, because of my redundancy, 10 years ago, you know, the people right? People who ruminate on injustice, something that and look, it may be an injustice. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes people do bad things to you. Sometimes you have been traumatized by someone who victimized you, and you were a victim in that moment. But how long do you want to choose to remain a victim? That's a choice. You can be a victim in the moment, and we've all probably been victimized at some point in our life, but then choosing to no longer stay victim, that's empowered choice, and so the people who just love to sit in the past. And again, it's usually coupled with blaming, because of this thing that happened in the past, because of this injustice, I get a free ticket to not take responsibility for healing. And again, I always say to the clients that I have inside the mind school, you might not be responsible for what was done to you, especially as a child, but you are responsible for your healing and what you choose to do moving forward. And so those who love to ruminate on injustice are not empowered, are probably not going to make a whole lot of change because they're not living in responsibility. And that takes me to number five, avoiding responsibility. People who avoid responsibility, and don't like to say I fucked up. I you know, I did the wrong thing. I fucked up. I'm contributing to this. I'm playing this out. Those people who aren't willing to look at where they are contributing to their problems, they are never going to change. Because, like I said in point one, if you can't take self responsibility, you will make others responsible. One of my most anti inspirational quotes ever is that everything is your fault. And I mean this with a bit of a bit of a joke, and I'm saying it with a little bit of tongue in cheek, but if we can start to adopt that instant mentality of, how am I contributing to this, this circumstance, this, whatever it is, this behavior, this conflict, how am I contributing? And it's so easy to say, Oh, the algorithm or because of the economy, because. Of my boss because of my kids. And again, that's that projection of external responsibility. But if we flip it back inwards and we say, I and take responsibility. I'm contributing to this by x, y, z, we take our power back. So anyone who avoids responsibility and will go to blame and ruminating and helplessness, those people are probably not going to make a lot of change. And if you can start to see instances in your life where maybe you are avoiding responsibility, and you are not really taking responsibility for your actions and decisions and then instead attributing your failures or struggles to something outside of you, that's another key indicator that you're not really in the driver's seat, and you will become subject and you will become a victim to external circumstance. You'll never actually be in control, and therefore, you'll never actually get to change your life, because to change your life, to change your results, to change your circumstances, you would have to be the one to make the change, but if you're in the habit and the pattern of outsourcing all of that responsibility to other things that are outside of your control, you're never going to be the one in the driver's seat. So that's number five. Number six is a resistance to change, people who are resistant to change and scared of opportunities, scared of anything they've never done before, scared of fear. That's another one, afraid of fear. So many people are afraid of feeling afraid, or afraid of looking silly, or afraid of looking like a beginner, or afraid of the unknown, and all of these things are actually part of up, leveling, evolving and creating change. If you want to make a change, but you're resistant to what comes with that you're not going to be able to move forward. So it's so ironic that you want change, and that's might be why you're listening to this episode. You want change, but then a lot of people are so resistant to change because it is scary. It does mean there's a lot of unknowns. It does mean you need to look foolish again. It means you need to learn new skills. It means you need to lean in when things get uncomfortable. It means you need to create new neural pathways, new actions, and all of that feels clunky and it feels awkward and it feels unknown, and that's usually where people would prefer to go back to the comfort zone, as opposed to trudging through this discomfort. And so for anyone who is extremely resistant to change and needs things to be comfortable, that's another sign to me that there probably won't be a huge amount of change, because change requires discomfort, and if you are committed to your comfort zone, don't be surprised if you don't get huge results and changes in your life, you have to get and even find the way to mentally reward yourself and look forward to and Enjoy discomfort. Find a way to reframe discomfort as, holy shit, I'm growing. Discomfort doesn't mean I'm doing something wrong. Discomfort doesn't mean I'm going backwards. In fact, the more discomfort I feel, the more I propel forward, the more courage I take, the more change I make. All of this has been so helpful for me over the last five, six years to create massive change in my life. I remember being pretty resistant to change. I had a annual salary. I had for five years. My holidays were at the same time. Every year I knew how much I was going to get paid. I had the same classroom. I was so lucky to have such consistency and to be able to know I was in this little comfortable bubble, but I was actually, you know, not that happy, and I wanted to do other things. It wasn't until I started to reframe the feeling of discomfort and actually the feeling of fear to mean that I'm moving in the right direction. And therefore I started to enjoy it, and I started to like it. And when you become someone who enjoys fear. You enjoy that discomfort, you're going to be someone who can create change, okay. Number eight, isolation, so often, and this is not always, but often, people who withdraw and feel like they have to do everything on their own, and nobody else understands them, and no one can help them. That can be another sign that it's going to be not impossible, but harder, to create change. And this can come with a little bit of unhealthy ego, where it's like, I can do it myself. I've got this. I don't need anyone to help me. I'm going inwards. And again, this can be there are healthy expressions of this, but when it comes from a place of no one understands me, no one can help me, I'm completely alone in this. Change is actually going to be a lot slower. What I have found in my own experience and experience of other people is that when you put your foot. In the room of in the rooms of people who are doing the similar things to you and are 10 steps ahead of you, you move way faster. But if you don't believe that anyone can help you, or that you can even ask for support, change is going to feel like a trudge. It's going to just feel trudger us. Is that a word you're going to trudge? You're going to trudge through forcing yourself and feeling alone. And again, feeling alone is that comes with a whole range of other issues and problems. But if you feel the need to isolate yourself to move forward, it can be a sign to look at what that's what's going on underneath that, and then as a sort of piggyback to that one. This one's a this one's a favorite, the martyr, the person who stays in the martyr role. And so the martyr role is the person who actually gets a sense of self and a sense of importance or significance from the amount of suffering that they are putting themselves through. And those people, it's almost like the martyr. I don't know why I think of like nuns or Mother Teresa sort of archetype where it's like, you'll live in poverty and you will, you know, and from a place of like, I do so much this is I just, I get so much from being burnt out and tired and pouring myself so empty that that's almost where you get your sense of accomplishment and achievement from. And this can be, actually, I'd have to say there's a lot of professions where it's actually part, it can be, become part of the role. You know, the more burnt out I am, the harder I work, the more I give of myself, the more worth of worth I am inside of my profession, and that is so problematic for so many different reasons. But again, if you find that you're playing that martyr role, and you're actually getting some sense of validation from how burnt out you are and how much of the load you carry, it's actually not strength. It's really not strength is being able to ask for support, strength is filling your own cup up so that you can give to others from abundance. Strength is the opposite of the martyr role, and so that's another sign that change is going to be hard and slow. Another one is expecting rescue someone who needs someone else to come and save them. This coach is going to be the answer to my problem. This course is going to be the answer to everything I need. This person is going to rescue me. I am not whole. I am not able to do it by myself. I need the strategy. I need the coach. I need the program. I need the XYZ and again, nuance, yes, sometimes those things are really helpful. They build skills. You need coaches. You need mentors. I just said, Don't do things in isolation. So there's nuance and contradiction here. But also, don't let them be the rescuer. Don't let them be the magic. Never forget that you are the magic, and you have people come in to support you, but actually, you don't need rescuing. You might need support, but when it comes from that frequency of please save me like a damsel in distress, kind of energy, again, not empowered, and it's actually waiting for an external source to come and give you what you need, as opposed to you looking for a bit of support from a really healthy, abundant place. And for anyone who you know is in the coaching industry, this is something to look out for if I ever notice that a client is using language that almost puts me into that rescuer, it makes me the rescuer. I will typically not take that client. I'm not coming to save anyone. I'm not here to rescue anyone. I'm here to support but I'm not going to be the person that is being outsourced for someone else's power. Why? Because I know when someone outsources all of their power to me, I also become the scapegoat for when things don't go the way that they wanted them to, because that person doesn't take responsibility. That person looks for external rescuers, and therefore they don't need to take responsibility. And that, to me, is not someone personally, it's not my kind of ideal client, but for those in the coaching space, it and even in relationships and in dating, in so many ways, when you notice that someone sort of needs you and feels like you're there to rescue them and give them life support, that can be an almost unhealthy dynamic negative self talk is number 10. So negative self talk, it sounds so like obvious, but I think it happens so much without us realizing. And you know, I'll even do it to myself, and it's just off. It's almost like I say it as a bit of a joke, but then I remember Breanna, the subconscious mind doesn't understand jokes. The subconscious mind doesn't understand sarcasm. The subconscious mind just hears it. And so it can be that reminder that even if we're saying things, you know, cheek and tongue, whatever the phrase is, it can have impacts, and it can that sort of like it's. I think it's an Australian humor thing, like self deprecating humor, where we put ourselves down as a bit of a lull, but actually that can subconsciously really get locked in. So we want to be conscious of that, and that's in the more sort of jovial way. But also so often people actually just talk bad to themselves, and they talk down to themselves, and they speak to themselves like they would never speak to their best friend or their daughters or their sons or their husbands, and it's this, especially the internal dialog. When the internal dialog is like, you could never do this. Why would you do this? Etc, etc. You're not going to get far and you're not going there fast. Someone who comes into a space and is like, fuck yeah, I can do this. I've got everything I need to either learn. I believe I can do this, I know I'm going to do this. And they speak about themselves in a really loving, nurturing way. Those people get further just something I've observed when I see someone who's riddled with negative self talk and really reinforces disempowering identities and beliefs. That is usually the first thing that I will nip in the bud with a client before we can even move any any further, because there's no point in taking all the action if internally you've got a system and a process that is perpetually putting you down your a process is going to be slower, but B it's not even going to feel good when you get it. If you can't feel good in the process, you're not going to feel good when you get the outcome. And so negative self talk is just a huge thing to look at for so many different areas of life, but especially people who want big change, need to look at the way they speak about themselves when nobody's listening. And then the last one, which is the number 11, big red flag for making big, crazy, powerful change in your life is a difficulty in setting boundaries. And so difficulty setting boundaries could be saying things like, actually, no, that you can't make that payment late, or actually, no, I won't drop my prices. Actually, no, I can't come to that this weekend. I've got other things I need to do, or, actually, no, I don't want to come to that. Thanks for the invite. There's so many different again, there's sneaky little ways that we drop our boundaries, we drop our standards, and it can be boundaries with ourselves and boundaries with others, but these are such like portals. They're portals. Let's look at boundaries as portals. Every time we make a stand for our standards, and every time we draw a line and say no, that doesn't align with where I'm going, and therefore I'm not choosing to engage in this behavior or this activity or this event, or I'm not going to say yes to this request. Every time we draw that line and we hold our boundaries, we have portaled into a newer level of acceptance. What is what we will accept and what we will not accept. But every time you drop your boundary and don't set a boundary, you lower the standard of what is acceptable, and when you lower your standards, you fall to your standards, you won't have self trust. And this is huge, huge, huge, huge, huge. Every time you overstep your own boundaries or or let somebody else overstep yours, what you are doing is internally creating a lack of trust, because you say you're going to do something, or you say something matters to you, or you say you value this thing, or you say this is where your standards are. But every time you drop those, you unconsciously go, you're full of shit. You don't you don't even trust yourself. I can't. If you can't trust yourself, you're not going to be someone who takes big, crazy power, empowered action. You're gonna you're gonna say, you'll do things, you're gonna talk about it, you're gonna dream about it, you're gonna journal about it. But internally, you'll have a thought process that goes you won't really do this. You can't even hold your own standards to yourselves or to other people. And so when you have difficulty setting boundaries and upholding those boundaries, you can become really overwhelmed by other people's requests and other people's demands and other people's expectations, and then you fall and become part of their plans. Paul always cracks me up. Makes me think of this. Paul used to always say, if you don't have your own goals and dreams, you'll become part of someone else's. And I was like, Oh, that is poof big. And boundaries are the same. If you don't hold your boundaries, you will become part of somebody else's plans goals. You'll become part of what their wants and desires are, which doesn't help you get to your wants and desires. And so that is the 11 signs and symptoms that I have seen and observed that get in the way of really creating any kind of result you want in your life, any kind of change you want in your life, and above all, just being a powerful creator, being an empowered person that has so much belief in your ability to create your reality. And to me, isn't that just the most beautiful and. Empowered belief system that you could have to believe that you get to control your destiny, that you get to create your life, that you're in control, that it's all down to you, that, to me, is one of the most empowered sets of thinking that we can ever assert into ourselves. And so I think it's really, really beautiful to have and to look at these 11 signs that take you away from that empowerment, that take you away from that responsibility so again. One, blaming others. Big Red Flag. Stop doing it. Two, a feeling of helplessness, persistent complaining, ruminating on the past, ruminating on injustice, avoiding responsibility, feeling resistant to change, isolating yourself and feeling like you need to do it alone, and then playing the martyr and almost getting a sense of relief and validation from how much you carry the load the other one is expecting to be rescued, and then negative self talk and difficulty setting boundaries. Have a look at these. Bring some awareness to them. See how you can bring more responsibility into your life and start taking complete, radical responsibility, and your whole life will change, I promise. And that is all from me. Today I am going to go see the mind school student counselor. We're about to get the manuals done for the next round in Perth. And for those of you who are interested in 2025, dates, you can send me a DM, or you can go to the link in the show notes. The mind school method is it's actually quite hard to put into words. It's a certification for coaches, but I don't even know if that's the language anymore. More than half of the people who have completed the mind school are not coaches, but just wanted to be better humans, better mums. We had someone who wanted to be a better grandma, a better wife, a better lawyer. We've had all sorts of people come and it really just gives you a manual for emotional intelligence, for mindset, for shadow work and for relating better to yourself, knowing yourself, knowing how to enact change within your own life and others, and how to influence others. It's it's just insane. It's transformative. It's life changing. It's six whole days, like I said, that will change your life. And we are about to release our 2025 open dates this year. It all sold out very quickly, and I wasn't able to open more spaces. So if you're interested in knowing about the 2025 dates, you can go to the link in the show notes, or you can DM me on Instagram. Have a great week, and I will see you back here next week. Thank you for tuning in to the mind school podcast. It is a massive intention of mine to continue to grow this show, because the more the show grows, the better the guests get, and I know that is going to be so powerful for you listening. So if I could ask this massive favor, it would mean the world if you could please leave a review, hit the Follow button or leave a rating on Spotify, so that we can continue to grow this show and bring you the juiciest, most thought provoking and expansive conversations through incredible guests. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'll see you next week. You.