The Magic of Minding Your Own Business

What if shifting your focus could unlock true happiness and success?

In my latest episode of the Super Soul Model series, I explore the transformative power of minding your own business inspired by a recent episode with Neale Donald Walsch. Drawing inspiration from Theodore Roosevelt's timeless wisdom that "comparison is the thief of joy," I break down how directing your energy towards your own journey can preserve your vitality and keep you aligned with your goals. The first principle we introduce is all about staying true to what feels good for you, ensuring harmony and fulfillment in your life.

Next, we dive into the practice of tuning into your inner guidance and detaching from others' issues. We reveal how by focusing on your own emotions and practicing exercises like refraining from judgment for an hour, you can maintain a balanced state and conserve your energy. This mindful approach not only keeps you centered but also opens the door to more positive experiences, empowering you to lead a fulfilling life rich with well-being.

Finally, we discuss the importance of setting healthy boundaries as an act of self-respect and engaging in activities that bring you joy. Learn how saying no to what doesn't serve your highest good and staying present through meditation and creativity can recharge your energy. We highlight how filling your own cup of happiness can positively impact not just your life, but also those around you. Embrace self-empowerment and start each day with positive habits to set yourself up for endless possibilities. 

Tune in for practical insights and strategies to master your own business and achieve your dreams.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello and welcome to the James Grant from podcast, super Soul Model series, where I help you tune and tap in to your own natural state of well-being. You're really, really gonna like this episode because what I'm going to share with you in this episode is going to be life transforming, and it's probably my best episode yet. And it's all about how to mind your own business and get what you really want. Because when you mind your own business, essentially is what you really want. Because when you mind your own business, essentially is you're minding your own energy and everything is energy. Folks. And energy never lies because it just is. And when you are giving your attention to other people, you are essentially spending your energy. You're spending it like a currency, and when it's not in a productive way, you are essentially spending it and it's never gonna come back. And that's how a lot of people lose their energy. They leak energy without them realizing. So I'm gonna share with you 10 principles how to mind your own business and get what you really want.

Speaker 1: 1:00

When you are minding your own business, you're not comparing yourself to anybody else. Theodore Roosevelt said comparison is the thief of joy, and when you're comparing or looking over your shoulder, it's like you're giving your power away to someone else, and there's this old adage, which is focus on yourself, but people are always concerned about how other people are perceiving them or how other people are perceiving them or how other people are thinking of them, but you can never can control that. The only thing you can ever control is what you're doing with your energy and what you're doing with your energy output and where you're focusing your attention, because if you're comparing yourself to other people, you don't know where they're at on their journey, and so your comparison, if it makes you feel bad, is going to take away any joy and any energetic currency that you might have. So you don't want to do that. What you want to do is hold on to your energy, stay in your lane, focus on what you've got, focus on yourself, and you're going to hold on to your own center and you're going to hold on to your own power. Folks, this is absolutely life-changing when you really get this, that the only thing you can control is making sure you stay in your center, because you cannot control what other people are going to do, think or say, but you can control how you feel and the more you are holding onto your center, staying in your true self, staying in your power, staying in your own alignment, staying in your own lane.

Speaker 1: 2:25

If we're going to use a car analogy, you're not drifting off onto the hard shoulder. You're not drifting off into the middle barrier with oncoming traffic. You're staying right in the lane. This is what the Buddha was calling the middle path, and this is just an up-to-date analogy of it is. When you stay in your lane, you focus on yourself, you focus on where you're going. Then you are going to arrive at your destination happily.

Speaker 1: 2:49

But if you're constantly looking and complaining about what all the other drivers are doing on the road, then you're not focusing on your own car and your own journey and your own destination. You're basically spending currency, spending energy that will eventually make you run out of gas or, in other words, make you run out of feel good energy. Essentially, if you are focusing on other people rather than yourself, it's a bit like you going to a gas station in your car and filling up someone else's car rather than yourself, when you're not minding your own business. But when you're minding your own business, you're just filling up your car so that you can drive away smoothly and carefully. So if you can get that, then I'm going to share with you some 10 principles that are really going to help you mind your own business and get what you want, because as soon as you start really focusing on yourself, doing all these principles, you're going to notice you're going to have way more energy, you're going to feel happier, you're going to feel freer, but, most of all, you're going to feel happier. You're going to feel freer, but, most of all, you're going to feel more fulfilled. This is a huge thing.

Speaker 1: 3:46

If you were a golfer and you were constantly looking at how other people are playing the ball and not focusing on your next shot, or not focusing on where your lie is and what you need to do in order to play the next best shot, you're going to lose because all your attention is given to other people rather than what you're doing, and a lot of people get nerves, get anxiety, because they're focusing on what other people are thinking and what other people are doing, rather than on themselves. So be the person who learns how to focus on themselves and enjoy these principles that I'm about to explain. So when you mind your own business, you're essentially keeping your power, you're holding onto your power, but when you're your own business, you're essentially keeping your power, you're holding on to your power. But when you're focusing on other people, you're giving your power away to them. You're actually giving literally an energetic currency to somebody else, and then, when you've lost connection, you tend to blame them.

Speaker 1: 4:37

If you've ever been skiing, this is a perfect analogy. Focus on where you're going, because if you don't, you end up going into the back of somebody. I know because I've done that. So as soon as I started focusing on myself, it became so much more enjoyable. That is all you have to do. It's a really simple premise, but sometimes we just don't get this, because this is not what we're taught in school. We're not taught to focus on ourselves. But I'm going to share with you these principles, so let's get started.

Speaker 1: 5:05

So number one, the first principle, is stay true to what feels good for you, and then you naturally stay in harmony. You naturally stay in alignment. So many people give their power away. I know that I've given my power away because I, being a highly sensitive person, have always tried to uplift and make people feel better. Now, uplifting is my natural state. However, when I'm doing it at the detriment of my own well-being. That's not cool. So if you find yourself being one of these types of people, then what you need to do is harmonize with yourself, fill your own cup up and then go and help. It's like that old airline analogy that if the plane's going to go down, make sure you put the oxygen mask first before helping anybody else. This is because when you do that, that analogy is all about fill yourself up and then go help. But if you're trying to fill up other people or trying to uplift other people or trying to make other people feel amazing because you don't feel good enough for one reason or another, you are not in your own power, you are not staying in your lone lane and you are not focusing on yourself. This is not minding your own business. This is essentially giving your away.

Speaker 1: 6:10

If somebody's going through a tough time maybe it's a health condition, maybe it's a financial condition, or maybe it's a relationship challenge all you can do is be that light bearer. You can be that faith keeper saying I'm sure it's going to work out for you. I know it's going to work out for you and even though you're not up close in personal with them on a moment to moment basis, just having that I'm sure it's going to work out really, really empowers that other person and it means you're not minding their business, you're minding your own. Now that's exactly what I said to my mum the other day when she lost her keys. Seems really simple analogy, but we can use this on a micro scale, which is like the keys, or a macro scale, which might mean a health condition, by saying I'm sure this is going to work out for you. I did that with my mom and, funnily enough, within about an hour, an hour and a half, she called back to say oh, I found my keys. You never guess where I found them. She goes thank you, and I said what for? And she said for, just like being sure, with zero doubt, that I'd find them, even though I was really frustrated or upset that I'd lost them.

Speaker 1: 7:17

That's the power that we have to influence. When we mind our own business and we're not attached to other people, we're not attached to what's going on in their life. We can be lovingly focused and compassionate in their life, but we don't have to be attached, which means giving your power away to worry, concern or whatever they're going through, because if you give your worry or concern to other people, you're not actually helping them, you're hindering them, but most of all, you're hindering yourself. Number two tapping and tuning into your own inner guidance. Your emotions are your guide, and when you feel great, you know you're in check. But when you don't feel great, you know something's a little bit amiss, something's out of alignment.

Speaker 1: 7:56

So your job is to listen to the signals that your emotions are telling you, and when your emotions are saying something's a little bit off here, that is a signal to say I need to tune back in with myself. I need to focus back in on myself because I'm giving my power, away, my energy, I'm spending energy, currency right now on something that doesn't feel good and it's costing me this bad feeling. That's the difference. So those feelings are feedback signals telling you that you need to tune in with yourself, recalibrate with yourself, get yourself back into alignment and maybe just find another way of looking at the scenario that will help you ease those angst, heavy bad feelings that come up, because all the feeling is is basically a signal saying something that you're thinking, something that you're focused on, is out of alignment right now. So the feedback that you're getting is this heavy emotion and it's not in congruency with the truth, which is they're all as well despite outer conditions. So when you get that, just remember that signal when you feel a little bit off is to say I need to retune and refocus back in with me again.

Speaker 1: 9:05

And one of the best ways you can do that is go back into the body, because going into the body allows you to feel these feelings, acknowledge them and then move on. One of the things I love to do is, when I notice something's a little bit off and I feel this feeling, I acknowledge the feeling and say do you know what? This is what I'm feeling and I prefer to feel this, I prefer to feel good, I prefer to feel lighter. Otherwise, I try and soothe myself back into a better feeling state by saying things like it's going to be okay, it's going to be all right, this is going to work out One way or another, this is going to be okay. Now, those types of thoughts, those types of feelings help me come back into my center and will help you coming back into your center over and over again, and that's one of the best things you can do to focus on yourself when you're feeling a little off and those signals are coming.

Speaker 1: 9:55

We sometimes look past emotional guidance as just something with no impact. In fact, your emotional guidance, feedback, is perhaps the most important thing you can be aware of. A good feeling means your thoughts are in alignment and a bad feeling means your thoughts are out of alignment. It's that simple. But you've got to be trained in feeling and looking and noticing the feedback that you're getting upon the subject that you focus on, and it's usually one of these three things finances, relationships or health. One of those three things is usually what you're getting feedback on. So constantly, constantly ask yourself how am I feeling? And if something's not right, ask yourself what's bothering me and then say how you'd prefer to feel, which is I want to feel better about this situation. Really simple, but this helps you mind your own business and get focused back into your body and get focused back into alignment again.

Speaker 1: 10:51

Number three releasing judgment. So whenever we're judging, we're not freeing the mind. We're constantly in the mind and not minding our own business. Every time you're judging someone or something, you're in the mind, and every time you're not judging somebody, you're just accepting what is. And when you accept what is, whether you like it or not, you're free in the mind and the best experiences that have ever come to you. You've actually had a free mind because you're so present, you're so in the moment.

Speaker 1: 11:19

So here's a little exercise for you to release judgment. Make it into a game For an hour today. Just judge no one or no thing, and just in that hour just look at things. Or a phone call that comes up or a text that comes up or a piece of news that you discover Don't judge it, just look at it and go. It is what it is. That word, it is what it is, releases all judgment. And if you can do it for an hour, then try it for half a day. This is huge. Just playing this game, just going for half a day.

Speaker 1: 11:49

I'm not going to judge anything. I'm not going to judge the way someone behaves. I'm not going to judge what somebody does, because when I do, I'm basically giving my power away. Judgment is basically the quickest and fastest energy zap or energy leak that you can have. So why would you want to give your energy away to judging people and judging things and watching drama unnecessarily? You wouldn't, because you know that when you're doing that, you're only going to see more red lights and you want to see green lights, and one of the best ways to see more green lights is to release judgment. I mean, it sounds really simple in principle, and it is, but to execute it requires such discipline and mastery, and that's what this episode is all about. That's why I said you're really going to like this episode, because it's practical, and when things are super practical, you can apply them and get results today. You know you don't need to wait 20 years like I did. You just get results today and when you're getting good feeling responses to some of these ideas that I'm sharing with you, you know you're on track and that is amazing, because you've just not taught this stuff in school. People don't go into detail about this, but I've had to look and ask myself these questions because I was like this is not right, I'm looking at this wrong, and so that's why I love to share this with you guys.

Speaker 1: 13:06

Number four is cultivating positive expectation. Trust that everything that's happening to you and to others particularly if you're a parent and you're caring about your child one of the greatest things you can do is to trust that everything's working out for them, despite how things may seem right now, and mistakes help people make better decisions going forwards, and that's the same for you. You couldn't have gone to as far as you've gotten without making some errors or mistakes along the way. And if things are working out for you and when you're cultivating this positive expectation for yourself, you can also give that gift to somebody else, particularly someone close to you. And if you find that people are having a hard time, just be that lighthouse where you can say do you know what? I don't know how this is going to work out, but I really believe this will work out for you. By giving somebody the gift of positive expectation, you can influence that person to something wonderful, and that was all due to your power of influence from being in your center and minding your own business. But when you're not minding your own business, you can expect the worst for somebody. And when you're expecting the worst for somebody, you're also losing your center and giving your power away and maybe influencing them to have a negative outcome. We don't want that. We want to collaborate in this world. This is one of the best ways we connect by collaborating with one another. And when we can collaborate from a position of power and centeredness and calm and flow and expectation of good stuff, then you are highly influential to transform the lives of many. In addition, if you really want to help people visualize loving and happy outcomes and then in time, as you get used to these beautiful images that you conjure up in your mind, you're creating a positive expectation not only for yourself but for others, and what goes around certainly comes around.

Speaker 1: 15:02

Number five become an appreciator. To appreciate is to tune and tap into your own natural state of well-being. When you shift your focus to appreciating what's in front of you, what you've got around you, the people in your life, the things that you have, the material things you have your home, your car, your bank account, whatever you've got, whatever you appreciate, you're always going to get more, which holds you in your center. But when you complain, you're actually taking all that beautiful currency and spending it and leaking it. Appreciation allows you to enjoy life with very little effort and to appreciate is easy, but to complain requires a lot of energy, a lot of heavy energy, and appreciation is a really high light energy. So become an appreciator and notice how you'll mind your own business and when you appreciate, you always get more to appreciate.

Speaker 1: 15:52

Number six practice self-care. When you're practicing self-care, you're essentially tuning back in to your own centeredness and your own power. So things like prioritizing your wellbeing with meditation practice, with prayer, with exercise, movement and nutrition and dance and creativity every time you're prioritizing your well-being and getting enough rest, by the way, every time you're prioritizing your well-being, you're saying yes to being in your center, you're saying yes to green lights. And every time you are looking over your shoulder, every time time you've got fear, worry, anxiety, concern, doubt, you're giving your attention to that which you don't want, and that which you don't want will grow. So prioritize your well-being and you'll notice that what you want will grow. And when you're looking over your shoulder and giving your attention to that which you don't want, that will also grow. So be super mindful about where you're spending your attention, because your attention, because your attention is a currency and you're either giving it away to other people by not minding your own business, or you're giving it back to yourself by filling your own cup up.

Speaker 1: 17:02

Number seven setting healthy boundaries. When you set healthy boundaries, it's an act of self-love and it's also an act of self-respect. Ask yourself this and be truthful how many times have you said yes to something when you really mean no. If you can answer that truthfully, then you're going to realize that those times when you've said yes, when you really mean no, was a lack of self-respect and a lack of self-love, which means that you were overcompensating your energy and you were not in your center. You were minding someone else's business rather than your own. Anyone who has self-respect and self-love won't do anything that isn't for the highest good of themselves and other people, and if it's at the detriment of your own conscious wellbeing meaning you know it's out of alignment. Perhaps it's doing some activity that you know is not correct and yet you do it anyway. That's a lack of self-respect right there.

Speaker 1: 17:57

I know, because that was me and it was only when I decided that I was going to have a little bit more self-respect and self-love that I could look back into my experience and go. I made better choices. Now we're all going to make mistakes and forgive yourself for making mistakes, and that's the only way you ever really learn. Words never teach. Experience is the best teacher, but recognize when you are given a choice. Is this for my highest good? And I love using that question. Is this for my highest good? And I love using that question. Is this for my highest good if I'm given this choice, and if it is, I follow through. And if it doesn't feel like it's for my highest good, because there's not a good, light feeling with it, I don't do it. It's a simple indication, and if you're given something to do and you're unsure, you could also ask what would love do here? Would love mean that I'm taking care of myself, which means I'm not going to do that, or would love mean I'm going to go and give of myself? You know, because it's all about the feedback you get from your emotions, whether something feels light and good and uplifting or flat and heavy, you know. So that's what your emotional guidance system is all about. That is what your emotions are there. They're there to give you feedback. So ask yourself those questions and your body will give you the answer in the terms of subtle feedback, emotional feelings.

Speaker 1: 19:17

Number eight staying present. Engage in the here and now. Here and now is the only place we can ever be, unless you're in your mind thinking about the future or the past. So being here now and staying in the present is one of the greatest ways you can recharge your tank. That's why meditation is so good. That is why being creative is so good. That is why, when you're immersed in an activity that you love, you're so present that fills up your cup. You're so focused on yourself. In that moment You're not leaking any energy. But as soon as you start getting into your mind, thinking about other people, wondering what they're doing, maybe complaining about somebody, you begin to leak your energy. So be very mindful of what you're giving your attention to. That is why staying in the present is so powerful.

Speaker 1: 19:57

Some of the happiest moments you've had, some of the most blissful moments you've ever had, you probably weren't even thinking. You were being. You were in a state of being that was so fulfilling. And that's because there's no thought going on. You're just immersed in this good feeling, energy. Imagine you've gone to a good party and the music's great and around wonderful people, and you're just like, ah, this is such a great party. The reason why it's such a great party is because of the way it makes you feel, which means you are present. But when you are worrying, fussing, stressing, you're in your head. You're not minding your own business. You're worried about the future or you're worried about the past. You're not present. That is why staying in the present is so powerful for you to helping you get what you want, because when you appreciate and acknowledge and accept what is, what is will change and bring you more good stuff. It means you're not pushing against life, it means you're accepting and allowing it.

Speaker 1: 20:50

Number nine follow your joy. Pursue activities and thoughts that make you feel happy, that make you feel jubilant, that make you feel celebratory, because when you pursue things that make you feel uplifted in my case it's music in music, in my case it's exercise, in my case it's going to the beach. In my case it's hanging out with great people, it's going to really nice restaurants there's so many things you can think of that really fill you up, and joy is the greatest magnet you can have, and when you are doing things that you love to do, you are only going to attract more good stuff into your life. We're here to experience as much joy as we can muster every single day, and it's so easy to just watch the kids, because they're constantly in this feeling of joy most of the time, whereas adults it kind of gets sort of knocked out of you a little bit because life gets a little bit serious. But we need to kind of learn how to return back to this joyful essence of who we really are. When you come from this place of a full cup, a full state of happiness, a full state of fulfillment, you are fulfilled from within and now you're overflowing that joy, those good feelings, those good vibes out into the world, also uplifting other people.

Speaker 1: 22:02

The greatest gift you can give if you're an uplifter is to give the gift of your own happiness, give the gift of love, give the gift of joy, give the gift of laughter. These are the types of things we naturally want to give when our cup is full. But when you're minding other people's business, not minding your own, what you're doing is you're spending all your joy, you're spending all that currency wasted and it's not going to come back until you reset yourself and get back in your own lane, get back in your own alignment. Number 10 you've got to trust that the universe knows what it's doing and that the universe is guiding everyone on this planet, and especially you. Have faith that your needs are being met. Have faith that you're being guided to something great, even though you might not see it yet.

Speaker 1: 22:50

Every challenge, every mishap, everything that seems very difficult for you, is a setup for something great in another season. Just remember that. And that's the same for other people, no matter what they're going through. So if you're meddling in other people's affairs, you're not trusting that life is going to set them up for something wonderful in another season. Greatest thing you can give is sometimes just a little distance between the people you really care about and yourself and being in their personal affairs. If you can just stand back from those affairs and just know that, just like when a seed is planted, it's not going to mature, and just know that, just like when a seed is planted, it's not gonna mature into a fruit tree this year, it might take a few years before it really bears fruit. That is the same with trying to mess with other people's affairs, trying to get into other people's affairs and really care about them.

Speaker 1: 23:39

If people are meddling in your life, it's because they are spending their own currency, they're not focusing on themselves, and sometimes a parent will do that. But if you are a parent, you've got to be conscious that you're not actually doing that in your child's life. Whilst you want to guide them, you've also got to trust that there is something bigger here, that the universe is navigating each one of us to our highest goods and when we can focus on what's important in the here and now and trust that there will be a setup in seasons to come, despite whatever challenges other people may be going through or a challenge that you may be going through. This gives you a lot greater sense of peace as you move throughout your day. By following these principles, you're gonna enhance your own power. You're gonna enhance the green lights in your life because you're recalibrating to yourself, to your own energy. This is incredible for seeing more green lights in your life.

Speaker 1: 24:33

But when you're not minding your own business, when you're trying to meddle in other people's affairs, you're giving your power away.

Speaker 1: 24:40

There's no one to fix here, there's only you to get in your own power and fill yourself up. Each day you fill yourself up with your own healthy habits, with your own healthy mindset. Then what you're doing is you're starting the day afresh with all sorts of possibilities and chances and opportunities that can come your way. But if you're meddling in other people's affairs and not minding your own business, you're saying yes to red lights. So be mindful of these principles and set them into action. Try them, apply them and get your own experience, because experience is the teacher, not these words. If you've enjoyed this episode and you've gotten great value from it, then please remember to hit the like and subscribe and support the show if you'd like to contribute for shows like this, or more shows like this, because this content is really changing lives and when you begin to assist other people in helping transform their own life, it's also coming back to you. Until the next episode, I wish you a wonderful week ahead and green lights all the way.