Reflecting on Carry On Friends: The Journey, Community, and Gratitude

Carry On Friends has been a journey! As the host, I've sometimes felt the weight of creation on my shoulders, balancing life's incessant demands with crafting meaningful content for you, the listeners. In today's heartfelt reflection, I unwrap the struggles and triumphs of this journey. A pivotal conversation with Helena, better known as ThatNurseCanCook, shed new light on the beauty of every interaction, leading to a profound shift in how I view our community's connection. I'll share the candid thoughts that almost led me to hang up the mic, and the clarity that emerged, reinforcing the impact and purpose of our conversations over more than a decade.

Friendship and gratitude—two forces that have propelled me through the highs and lows of hosting this podcast. In the second half of this episode, I unveil the transformative power of supportive relationships and the importance of expressing heartfelt thanks for the shared wisdom and intangible successes, like the connections we've fostered here. As I extend my deepest gratitude to you for shaping our content with your feedback and encouragement, I'm eager to hear your thoughts for our upcoming summer episodes. Together, we've built a community that not only has contributed to my personal growth but has also been an integral part of Carry On Friends' ever-evolving legacy.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:19

Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of Carry On Friends the Caribbean American Experience. And I wanted to record this solo episode because I haven't connected with you all Just me just kind of talking to you all without a guest and I'm sure you love the guests but every once in a while I think it's important for me to check in with you and just connect one-on-one, right? So one of the reasons why I really really wanted to have this conversation was based on the episode before this one where I was talking to Helena, aka that Nurse Can Cook, and how much at the time when I recorded that episode months ago because, what most people don't realize, I have a full-time job, I have kids, I now have multiple podcasts that I'm the actual on-air talent, not to mention the ones where I'm the producer or editor, and so that means that I'm spending a lot of times just editing, recording and doing all this stuff. And when we recorded that episode at the time of this recording four months ago right, she was just speaking into my life. Technically, we're in the 11th year of Carry On Friends, but I'm celebrating the 10th year because I didn't really get to appreciate and celebrate the 10th year of Carry On Friends because of where I was in, really appreciating the work that I've done in partnership because I don't do anything alone in partnership with God and my family and friends who've been supportive of me, and she said so many things that I needed to hear last year but it was also the affirmation and reminder that I needed this year. So I'll use my conversation with Helena as a springboard to kind of catch you up with Carry On Friends where we are and just to reflect on some of the episodes that I've had this year.

Speaker 1: 2:33

So at one point in the conversation I had shared with her that I was just ready to quit, I was ready to retire carry on friends, and it doesn't mean that there's never going to be a time that that will happen. It's a natural cycle. Some of our favorite talk shows have retired, but it's a matter of is now the right time. And last year I had ended the season early because I was very exhausted, quite frankly, and because I was exhausted, I was very frustrated and I was thinking that the podcast isn't growing the way I wanted it to grow and just overall, miserable right, and I had to do a lot of reflection and I was able to do that reflection without the pressure of putting out an episode.

Speaker 1: 3:25

And Helena said that if you are losing, if you don't have the same engagement or people are not seeing your content, it's not a reflection of you or the content which I wish I had heard this last year, but she was like it's a reflection of the strategy. And in addition to the strategy we didn't get to this part it's in addition to the constant changing algorithms that we are at the mercy of on any of these platforms that are distribution channels versus Facebook, instagram, tiktok, pinterest, linkedin, whatever. And it was really important for me to hear that because I was really taking personally that after 10 years, like you know, maybe I should retire. No one really wants to listen to Carry On Friends. No one really cares about what the show has to say. It feels like people want a different type of content and I don't want to create that type of content and I can honestly say that the introspection, the retrospection and just really, as I said, tecua myself was really important for some clear thinking. I went as far as even planning when I would record the last episode explaining to the audience why I was retiring the show, et cetera, et cetera, and it took me a train ride.

Speaker 1: 4:54

I was coming home on the train and it just came in my spirit that I was discounting the people who were tuning in and I wasn't taking my own medicine, right? I've always said, you know what? A lot of us, based on what? Instagram, or not just Instagram, let me just say social media. I don't want to put Instagram alone on the spot, but metrics right. So whether it's downloads or whatever, metrics says that I need to have tens and thousands, hundreds and thousands, millions of views. And in doing so, if I don't meet that benchmark, it's almost as if the five views, the one view, the 10 views are important, and they are because I'm discounting the people who are contributing to that view and how this particular episode that they're watching is impacting them.

Speaker 1: 5:51

And so, as I came off the train, I was like wow, it's not like there aren't people listening. There are, and so I shouldn't discount that they are tuning in and that they are supporting and listening. And it's like okay, so what is exactly? Is it that's you're feeling like you're not, your content isn't relevant? And I and I I just had to catch myself and paraphrase that because Elena was like it's not you, so it's not me being relevant, it's the content being relevant, right, and I also had to think of this burden that I was putting on. Shared in their story an article in a major news outlet that's saying the rich are getting second citizenships and passport, and she was like, hey, fellow first generationers at Carry On Friends talked about this. She did an episode on this. It's important for you to go and get your passports from whatever country your parents are from, and that is an example of content being created that is valuable and is evergreen, which means that that particular episode she referenced, I recorded it January 2022. And here we are in 2024, she's making that connection. So that's a recent example.

Speaker 1: 7:38

So a lot of times I was looking for the same level of acknowledgement other platforms were getting and the same level of hype, but the content I create, it moves differently. The content that I'm creating is legacy content. It means that this content is going to be relevant to not just for this moment. It's going to be relevant years on and even when I redo an updated episode with a new guest, it is still important, because that's what I want to create with Carry On Friends a legacy. A legacy not just for my kids, but having conversations that no one else is having, that's timely, that's deep and that is informative, right?

Speaker 1: 8:30

So, going back, I was ready to quit Carry On Friends. I ended the season very early in September and it really was watching Black Cake and that urge to have a conversation about Black Cake that wasn't happening anywhere else. Mainstream wasn't going to have that conversation. They were going to have it from one lens and so I broke my break. I understood very clearly what I was doing and in my fatigue and in my frustration, I lost sight the other important thing and Ingrid Murray talked about this in part two of the interview and I had a follow-up conversation.

Speaker 1: 9:22

One of the reasons why I was experiencing so much friction is I recognized that I had not updated my visions and goals for Carry On Friends. I was doing my vision, my purpose, my goal for Carry On Friends for almost, if not in the early years, maybe every year, and then it went to every two years and the last time I did a vision, mission, purpose, goal for Carry On Friends was probably late 2018, almost 2019. And I realized that the goals that I had set for Carry On Friends when I first started to where I was at the end of 2023, I have already accomplished those goals and it was almost like no wonder you feel miserable, no wonder you feel like you're not accomplishing anything because you've outgrown those goals. So you need to now set new goals. You need to now have a new vision or mission. You need now to have new targets. You just really needed new targets and that was super clear to me and I really took some time to really think about the targets that I wanted to set for Carry On Friends for the next decade. Right, carry On Friends right now is this podcast, but I envision it to be a media house, a suite of brands, platforms, and Carry On Friends is really just the starting point. So I had to really get clear about what that was.

Speaker 1: 11:01

So what came out of that was refreshed, revitalized, re-energized approach to our culture, the conversations that I wanted to bring via Carry On Friends and new shows via Breadfruit Media, including Reels and Rhythms, and shows that I produced, like Strictly Facts, style and Vibes, and shows that I edit. That you know I just edit the episodes. I don't give any production. That you know I don't. I just edit the episodes. I don't give any production advice. You know they do their own things. Those all are important. They matter because they're projects that I like and I feel like are important.

Speaker 1: 11:35

And what happened at the start of this year, the episodes that you've heard so far are some of the new energy from this new vision, mission, purpose and goal for Carry On Friends, largely in breadfruit media. So we talked about our culture, our culture in the performing arts, theater, our culture when it comes to movies and independent films, our culture when it comes to even concerts. Almost every year I see Beresham in Brooklyn. I didn't go last year because it was out in Long Island, but I have pictures of every time that it was out on Coney Island at the amphitheater I go. And so those are things that I know the audience is interested in, really bringing in the full 360 perspective of our lives. Yes, we're a little bit of business. Yes, we're a little bit of career. Yes, we're parents. Yes, we're this, we're all these different things. And so using Carry On Friends to really discuss all these different things and not what's just trending.

Speaker 1: 12:42

So I kicked off this year talking about, like I said, you know, brata Productions. We talked to Horaine about film because you know culture upon TV plenty. You know I spoke with Bianca about Afrofuturism and Puerto Rico. We talked about travel, and so what I got from taking a break, which I hope resonates with you. If you're feeling frustrated, if you're feeling like what I'm doing is not working, if you are feeling like I'm just done, those are natural things to feel. I do recommend that and not having those feelings in an echo chamber where it's just you and what you just said just echoing back to you.

Speaker 1: 13:30

You know, what I did was have conversations with trusted friends, advisors. When I told my family, they were just like sure, this is what you want to do. And I said I wanted to quit, you know. And they listened, right, and this is for the friends who are the supportive friends, right. And I said it to someone else, like having this conversation with my husband, I had to say do not solution, just listen, because you'll go to a man with a problem. He might not try to fix it. So you have women friends like that. If you go to your friends with a problem, have women friends like that. If you go to your friends with a problem, they're going to try to fix it. So I had to be clear what I wanted.

Speaker 1: 14:11

So my initial ask was just listen, do not solution, just listen, because I just needed to get it off my chest and even if they had a solution, that was a good solution I wouldn't have been in a place to receive it because I was just such in a funk. So be clear what you want. At the time I'm just venting, I just need you to listen. I'm not ready to hear solutions or how to solve this yet. And when you are ready to hear a solution or how to solve that, you could go back to those people. Or you find the actual problem solvers in your crew, because you have a group of friends. Some are the listeners, some are the problem solvers in your crew. Because you have a group of friends, some are the listeners, some are the problem solvers. You know, et cetera. So you know who those are, so you would just find them.

Speaker 1: 14:53

So Helena's episode, really, when I said man, she's speaking life, it really was. It wasn't me gassing her up, it was really a therapeutic session, mirroring back to me the things that I need to do. And when she said it, all the episodes of Carry On Friends that I've recorded up to this point, I batch, recorded all of them in one month and then after that one month, as I said in that episode, I took a break because I was able to take my time to edit, prep them and release them, and that was the self-care that I needed. I may have not done that very well on Reels and Rhythms when I was pressing gas, but Reels and Rhythms gives me so much joy because I am able to talk about some different things and really flex my creative muscles in other ways. But I really wanted to just share some of what I was going through. So this year I'm really leaning in and being very grateful for Carry On Friends.

Speaker 1: 15:50

Because of Carry On Friends, I'm connected to you. Because of Carry On Friends, I've made some incredible, incredible relationships, incredible friendships. Because I was focused on the metrics that external parties use to gauge my success. I wasn't focusing on the intangible success, the intangible success of the deep friendships that I do have. My deep friendship with Michaela is a direct relationship through Carry On Friends. People think I've known her before that I did not my know. My deep friendship with Chris, who co-hosted the podcast with me for a while, my connection with audience members like Hemoy, indira, my connection to so many other people is through this podcast and I had to really take stock and say likes, listens, downloads are incredibly valuable, especially when it comes to getting sponsorships and all of that, but there's an intangible, an important and intangible success or value that I wasn't paying attention to, and it was just the relationships, it was the connection, it was the amount of knowledge that I got from being the host of Carry On Friends, having this platform, which I started in September of 2013, and then launching the podcast January 2015.

Speaker 1: 17:19

I mean, it has been a journey of ups and downs, but I've matured so much. I have different conversations. I just want to say thank you for supporting and, like I said, I didn't celebrate the 10 year anniversary last year like I should, with gratitude, in the way that I should, and I'm doing that this year, I'm doing a mega sale of the merch. Please support that. If not something for you, get something for a family member, a teacher. The tote bags are good for the teachers, all of these things. But I'm being more intentional of celebrating the milestone, because it's worth the milestone, because it's worth celebration.

Speaker 1: 18:07

I have new episodes coming up and, as always, the summertime is coming up. I do episodes in the summertime, but I wanted to do something a little fun and different. If you have ideas of what you want to hear in upcoming episodes, especially in the summertime, please let me know. Please, you could DM me on Instagram, you could send an email. Hello at Carry On Friends. Please let me know. I am grateful.

Speaker 1: 18:35

I am re-energized with a new level of gratitude for the work that I am doing and the partnerships that I have, and so I wanted to take this time to connect, let you know what's been happening and really just share. You know, from a place of transparency, that you know it's not always peaches and roses and all of this stuff. There are challenges and it's how I get through those challenges and it's how I get through those challenges and sometimes the encouragement is the comments that you post under a social media or a lot of times, because you all are a shy bunch sometimes. So you send messages or DMs on Instagram and I really appreciate those because that helps to let me know what is working, what content is working, what you all like, and it's really encouragement. So I just wanted to say thank you, thank you for tuning in and if you have any questions about I know it's kind of hard to talk about that period where I'm like all right, I'm done, you know, because I don't know what questions people might ask. But I'm happy to answer questions about that period because it was such a transformative experience. I was in a place where it was just really low and my friends knew about it. But going through that process to get to this side, I have to tell you it was worth the transformation. So, again, this episode is inspired as a follow-up conversation that I had with Elena of that Nurse Can Cook.

Speaker 1: 20:15

Make sure you check out that episode, if you have not, and also all the other episodes from this year. The episode them good, you know, men are put out, not women are proud of, you know. So, again, thank you for supporting Carry On Friends. We have things that have come out, nothing women are proud of, you know. So, again, thank you for supporting Carry On Friends. We have things that have come out. If you have things that you want to see, if there's content, you know I really take your suggestions and feedback into consideration. So don't be shy, speak up, tell me what you'd like to hear and I'm happy to consider it and test out some things. And so, again, thank you for being a supporter. Whether you are from day one or you just come it no matter. You are part of the community of friends, and so until next time, walk good.