#006: Say Yes Less

If you are known as a “Yes” person, this episode is for you.

If you’re not careful you could easily become overloaded and overworked.

Your performance may suffer and you could become disconnected from your family and friends.

Put 3 simple steps in place to help prevent this and gain back some of your day!

This advice helps you work smarter - not harder.

Site: craigancel.com
Email: info@craigancel.com

P.S. Grab our free download of Resume Tune-Up Tips – Mistake proof your resume by learning and correcting today’s most common format and content errors.

Chapters

[00:45] Our year in review

[01:14] Ep 04: What’s in your junk drawer?

[01:58] Are you taking on too much?

[02:36] Ep 03: Overwhelmed and overloaded by email and text

[03:23] Is your plate too full?

[04:13] Consequences of being overloaded

[05:10] My real-life overwork story

[07:49] “Hey Dad, did you forget something?”

[08:59] Does a long weekend recharge your batteries?

[09:58] My visit to the doctor

[11:42] Working harder, not smarter

[12:57] How to Say Yes Less

[16:13] “Now” is not SMART!

[17:28] My annual performance review

[18:02] 3 Steps To Help Manage Workload

Referenced Content
Max Razumov: Intro & Outro Music 

Transcript

speaker 0:   0:00
Wow, Wasn't that high energy? I want to thank the music artist Max Rose a moth. For that, you confined his information in the show notes as we approach the New Year we thought would be awesome to add some intra music. Hopefully, you guys like that. If you did, let us know. You can email us at info at craig Ansel dot com or give us some likes out there and subscribe. Talking about high energy. We have the new year coming up. It's time to be thankful for what we have received, what we've been able to gift and be generous to others with, but also to kind of see what worked out there, what didn't what we might want to change and also take care of ourselves and consider how we might want to grow before we consider growing, though we might want to take care of ourselves as I mentioned. And in a prior episode, I think it was Episode four. We talked about what was in your junk drawer. That question, though, had a double meaning one about a physical junk drawer, but also the second a mental one. We talked about all this stuff floating around in our minds and how it can be overwhelming, and we discussed ways to correct it. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, are overloaded from so money to do lists task lists, then check out that episode. It may help you get better organized, and it could benefit you both in your personal and professional lives. If you've listener that episode, great, let us know that you're on board with your career growth journey. But what if you started to implement those organizational improvement steps and you noticed your to do list? Your task lists weren't shrinking, though you were tracking and knocking out your to do items, it was actually growing. The problem may be that you're taking on too much. Enter the title of this podcast. Say yes less. You heard me right? Say yes less. Did that make you smile or maybe squirm? Good. In prior episodes, we talked about how fast paced the world waas, and it doesn't look like it's going to slow down any time soon. In fact, it's going the other way. In Episode three, we also spoke about being and feeling overwhelmed and overloaded. The discussion focused on two of our main types of communication, email and text. We shared common miscommunication, examples of both and how it connected Lee affect our emotions and our energy levels, especially as we battle through what I called email volleying. We also talked about potential suggestions and how to improve and overcome. There were some great tips in there. If you have it, check it out. Those episodes should have helped you get back some of your time, increase your productivity and ultimately give you some of your day back. By the way, your coworkers may even thank you because the improved change may make their lives easier, too. But what if you still have a heavy workload and perhaps feel a sense of overwhelming? You might have taken on too much onto your plate. When I talk about say yes less, I truly mean it. This, too, can positively impact both your personal and professional lives. However, we all have different, unique situations, and we have to be careful how we apply the concept of, say yes less. For many of us. It feels natural to want to help or please others. So when we're asked to do a task or a favor we likely say yes now I'm a Christian and I love to help out and serve at my church. We have a very large congregation with several 1000 families, and that's a lot of opportunities to engage with. In fact, we have over 50 separate volunteer ministries to participate in. My point is that regardless, if we're speaking about work or personal time, we need to be cautious and protect it and control it. Otherwise, we could suffer consequences like being tired all the time. Increased stress overwhelm headaches, anxiety, mood swings, not acting like our true self overall poor health and, of course, reduced and even poor quality sleep. If you're experiencing some of these feelings, it may be due to taking on too much. Maybe learning to say yes less is just what the doctor ordered. Of course, I'm not a doctor, and I don't pretend to be one. So if you're in need of medical attention, please go out and get it. Thes podcast, though, are about educating and informing in an effort to help you improve. And in many cases there's a double win, as I mentioned before, because you can apply it to both your personal and professional life. I believe we learned from examples. So if it's all right with you, I'm going to share a personal story or two to show you what some of the effects of continual overwork or overload may look like. Years ago, I was working a rather large, complex project and routinely put in 10 to 12 hour days in the office with occasional 14 hour shifts for this project. There were no 40 hour work weeks air quotes. Now, before I continue, some of you might say, Hey, Craig, I work 10 or 12 hour shifts. I can handle it. You should be able to as well. I would normally agree with you on that. There were, though, a few problems for me, Number one might tend to 12 hour days where five days a week. Number two My work calls and emails started well before entered the office and continued well after I was home. This was in addition to my extended working hours in the office, and three frequently support was needed on the weekend, and those hours were over and above what had happened Monday through Friday in the office and over and above my morning and evening support. Normally, I might say, Tough it out. You'll get through it well, when these extended hours less for weeks and sometimes months, it can have very negative impacts on your personal life. Your family and friends could be affected. You may not even realize it, because in my case I was so caught up with so consumed with my project. It was on my mind 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I slowly became disconnected physically and emotionally from my family, especially because several years prior they recalled the pain and uncertainty of their dad being unemployed. So I pushed on. I believe I mentioned in an earlier episode. My family and I reside in Central Florida. Well, I recall one particular day. It was late fall or early winter. The time change had occurred, and it was dark. Late in the morning and early in the evening, I left her work on a school day, kiss my wife and kids goodbye and headed off for what was to be another long shift. I got to the office, my set up his cubicle based So no traditional door Justin open partition to enter into my horseshoe shaped desk, set up with black simulated leather recliner ble roller office chair. I placed my keys on the desk, spun around and went to work. Later on, I swirled around, picked up my keys and reverse the process and headed home. It was dark again, no surprise there with the time change, traffic was about the same. When I got home, I found my kids and wife in our hallway entrance. I guess they were late getting home from school before I could offer a greeting. They said, Hey, Dad, did you forget something? I was confused. So my response. What do you mean seemed appropriate? After a long pause, I took my wife aside to figure out what had just happened. When I told you, I spun my office chair around and went to work. It must have been all in my head because apparently I did a 360 in my office chair. And just after placing the keys on my desk, I picked them up along with my work bag and headed home. My wife and kids were still getting ready for school. They weren't unpacking from school. The scariest part for me I didn't know what just happened. I actually thought I finished another day at the office so that we didn't cause the kids to worry. I think we initially told them Daddy was just joking about coming home after work, and I had forgot something. Of course, there were underlying questions of why did this happen? How did I not notice it? And what are we going to do to resolve it so it doesn't repeat or get worse? I did get some help from colleagues on the project and eventually took a day or two off to Reston. Unplug. So a potential crisis avoided? Or was it? Have any of you ever taken a long weekend off Maybe adding a Friday or Monday or both to your weekend to recharge your batteries? If you if you have and you're like me when you come back to the office, there seems to be a mountain of email on voicemail to recover from. That is on top of the normal day today work. It almost feels like you didn't even take a refresher. Break it all because you have to put an additional effort just to recover from what you found when you got back. It takes you so much time to get caught up. I don't know if you've ever said it, but I need a vacation from my vacation. Almost is the feeling I had. So for me, the office work started ramping up again. And before I knew it, I was in the same Martinez before. In fact, it may have even been worse, though I had some help now because I still had to quote, quote, recover from a three day weekend some time passed and feeling worn down and kind of crappy with the burning coffin chills. I visited my family doctor. I was diagnosed with pneumonia. He had known me for years and knew about my passion, my drive to see things through to the end. He gave me a stern talking to and said he was debating between sending me home or calling an ambulance and confining me to the hospital. My immediate response? Yep. You guessed it. I can't go home. I have a ton of work to do. People are counting on me. Remember how I told you I knew the doctor for years? Well, he said something similar like this. You won't do anyone any good dead. This is a very serious condition you have, and you need to treat it as such. He allowed me to go straight home if I promised to work only 15 minutes a day, not 15 minutes at a time, 15 minutes a day total. In addition, he said he would be personally calling to check on me, not his nurse, if I sounded worse, or if my wife indicated that I wasn't following doctor's orders, he was going to send an ambulance for me and medically confined me to the hospital. I obeyed doctor's orders, but at a personal price. Remember I told you how much I love serving at my local church. I was confined to my home during Easter service that year. Not only could I not attend Mass with my family, I was unable to serve as a reader, something that was important to me that I enjoyed giving back to my community. Fast forwarding. I recovered after about one week home on bed rest, and the project completed successfully. Now I carefully watch for the warning signs of overload and overwork. There was one thing I forgot to mention during the challenging project and continuous long hours. I may have fallen into a trap of working harder and not necessarily smarter. I'd explain it is putting in a lot of effort in time and achieving very little of value. One day my manager passing by my cubicle, likely having read my emotions on my face, said Craig. Are you managing your project, or is your project managing you? I gave no response, but funny how little things like that little phrases stick with you. I know because it's been many years since that happened, and I still recall the phrase or the question word for word. Sometimes in fact, when I start to feel overwhelmed coming on, I use that phrase to trigger me to rebound. Kind of like an internal reset, if you will. This episode was an example of how severe things could be. Maybe some of you listening have gone through this. Maybe something similar. We hope that between episodes three and four and this one, number six, that if you choose to apply even a portion of what we're talking about, what we're informing you about, maybe you'll be able to get some of your time back in your life. So about this episode, how do you implement? Say yes less? Here's how I'm doing it. You can apply it as you see fit in your personal and work lives. Number one. I review my current workload and estimate how much time and effort all my activities air going to take. I might create a daily, weekly or monthly estimate the point here if I find that I have more work than time. I don't want to finish in activity and then replace it with more work. The goal is to load level to something more manageable before I consider taking on more work. If this sounds funny to you, think about it from an outside point of view. Perhaps your manager's view. Your assignments may often be late. Sometimes they may not be of the highest quality that you're capable of due to your workload. Or you might even miss a deadline or forgetting obligation altogether. I'd rather be seen as a quality, dependable individual rather than a yes man, rather than often times being overloaded and under seemingly extreme pressure to accomplish it all to when e mails come in. And I am not directly addressed or asked to respond. I don't even if I know the answer or could do the research and provide the info. This is part of saying yes less. You are choosing to say no in your mind. Maybe recapture some of your time, where you normally would offer a helping hand. The reason if I weren't respond and even if I completely answered the question clearly on the first shot, there may be some times where follow up questions they're gonna happen because I've now shown I have knowledge on the topic. We have to refocus on ourselves, and this might sound selfish, but honestly, I'm not the only one on the email. And Hecate wasn't even addressed to me At times. I was just copied on the email, kind of like an f Y I. So I file it in my corresponding folder and I move on. If it's a short email, a few sentences, I may read it just to step to date, then file it. But if it's bands, paragraphs, air pages, it straightaway filed Number three. When my supervisor manager stops by and is assigning work, I know what I can handle because I completed. Step one. If I already have a full plate, I may still say yes, but request conditions using respectful negotiation. You might hear the conversation, Something like this. I can work on that item when I finish X Y Z Craig, I really need this now. Okay? I can switch projects but will not be able to finish the other task until Craig. They're both very important. I need them both immediately. I understand. I can't work on both simultaneously. Which one would you like? Finish first, please? Complete item. Ex first. Okay, All complete item. Ex first is close of business Friday. Acceptable. If his response isn't yes. Then respectfully negotiate the latest timeline possible. That allows me to complete the task with reasonable time. Now that I've resolved one of two of my manager's urgent assignments, I still need to clarify an acceptable due date for the other. Now is not realistic and is not smart. An acronym we talked about back in Episode two. The smart part the arty means that the item has to be realistic and the T it has to be time based. Go back and listened Episode two and check out the show notes if you need. If we're approaching the weekend, I tried to negotiate a due date. That doesn't have me working through the weekend, though this is sometimes needed. It should not be part of every project, unless that was what you expected with your work hours to be and what you signed up for in that position. If I can't seem to make a due date adjustment with my manager, I may ask who the assignment is for and respectfully request eye contact that person to learn more of the project and see if there's some wiggle room in the deadline. Please know I handled this process respectfully and delicately. In fact, it was sort of a lesson learned for me because I used to take on everything thrown at me. And if that wasn't enough, I even volunteered for work tests I felt I could complete and do well with. By the way, that was me responding emotionally instead of logically meaning I wasn't taking my workload into account. I was only thinking about the fact I could do it and likely could do it Well, I just didn't think about it fitting into my schedule years ago during one annual performance review of mine, I received some strong recognition for all my efforts and accomplishments. But there was an area of improvement that was documented, and it said, taking on too much and occasionally missing deadlines in due dates due to extremely workload commitments. It wasn't just affecting me. My supervisor noted it, too. At first, the feedback upset me, but I had to realize there's a fine line between trying to do all be all and over commitment. So in summary, we used a couple stories to show how overload and overwork is possible and the potential effects on your body, your family, your friends. We covered the three steps to help you identify work overload and level it out and adjust it. They were number one. Create a workload estimate. Remember, it could be daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly yearly whatever you need, as long as you can reference it and it's accurate. Number two. Use your email action filter. If it's not assigned to you, you don't have to act on it. Number three. Say yes less or attempt yes, less with conditions using respectful negotiated requests. The late Zig Ziglar, a famous motivational speaker once said, If you aim it nothing, you'll hit it. Every time I'm talking about Step three, you get 100% of what you don't ask for. So remember the arty from Smart, which was realistic and time based. Our goal in this episode is to help you get out of work overload and make a realistic and time based schedule so that we can envision achieving the end and with a set amount of time. So go ahead and start making your 123 step approach for the new year and slowly and carefully apply Step three. In doing this, we kind of feel like we're hitting another mile marker in our marathon. We make progress by passing another milestone, another accomplishment, and slowly celebrate even a small victory. Hopefully, these tips and techniques are providing you value and maybe even given you some of your time back and giving you some inspiration and motivation. We're always open to feedback, so please send it to info at craig Ansel dot com. As we start to wrap up the year, let me go over just a few items on our to do list. If you'd like to know a little bit more about me. Please visit Craig and sell dot com that c r A i g a N c e l dot com and click the about tab. Also, Episode one has a brief introduction about my background give you but some further details. Looking ahead into Episode two it was power packed with resume information and details, and we talk about the do's and don'ts out there. What's comin with mistakes, and we followed it with a really awesome download. If you haven't grabbed that yet, go ahead and sign up for our podcast and subscribe, but also used the show notes and click the link to get that. I think it's a four page, energy packed resume tuneup guide, and there's some bonus tips in there. Oh, speaking of bonus. Inside that document, which is 100% free, there's a special link to get an 80 s pro kit. What that is is applicant tracking system guide. We give you the pro tips on the biggest mistakes. Ah, for resumes when they get uploaded online, why they might get rejected. And maybe if you've ever uploaded online and you haven't heard back from your potential future employer. It could be because it never went through the automated scanning process. It got rejected due to the most common mistakes. Don't make those airs, especially coming into the new year. Freshen up your resume with their tune up tip guide and get the bonus 80 s Pro tips guide, both free. Before you start saying yes less, please visit our website, sign up for our podcast subscription and get some of our freebies. Just click the links in the show notes. Lastly, if you haven't heard the message, we're here to help. Coming into the New year, Let us know what you're struggling with, and we might be able to put a podcast episode together to help you. This has been Craig and sell as we approach the New Year, wishing you a very merry Christmas and an upcoming Happy New Year, we turn problems into potential and issues in the opportunities blessings. See you next time