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While building our networks we need to be aware of and watch out for toxic people. The same applies to protecting ourselves from toxic people at our job. If we’re not careful, the damage a toxic person creates can be significant.
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Chapters
[00:29] Taking your requests for future podcast episodes
[01:03] Ken Coleman’s new book: The Proximity Principle
[01:21] Strong and weak networks
[02:15] Your success is related to your connections
[02:46] Toxic People and their effects on us
[03:50] Do you know a gossiper or complainer?
[04:13] Stay strong, rise above by recognizing your emotions!
[04:39] Toxic People at work
[05:11] Ruling with an iron fist
[05:33] My wrong choice
[06:34] My attempt at recovery
[07:10] Limit our interactions with toxic people
[08:20] Get your free Resume Tune-Up Kit
Referenced Content
Max Razumov: Intro & Outro Music
Ken Coleman’s Book: Proximity Principle
Support the Show.
speaker 0: 0:00
Happy New Year, Everybody from Craig and Sell Over Here at Career Growth made easy podcast. That was some awesome high energy music from music artist Max Rosa Mauve. I'll put a link to him in the show notes As we start the new year. You know what? We're taking requests for future podcast episodes. That's right. If you have a particular work or career situation that you might like to just discuss or need some guidance on, we're here for you. You can email us at info at craig Ansel dot com. That's c r A i g a n c e l dot com, or go to our website craig Ansel dot com, and click The contact page filled a few short notes and click it, and it's on the way Your requests will be with us shortly. I'd also like to thank Luke deal over Dave Ramsey solutions for providing Ken Coleman's new book, The Proximity Principle. I think they'd summarize it as a guide, moving you towards people in places that you need to be with in order to succeed in getting the job that you love. My personal ah ha moment. My personal takeaway was envisioning people in my networks is one of two types of network either a strong network or a week network. The strong networks are people you know you have contact with or communication within a regular basis. You might know them well, even know some of their interests, their hobbies, maybe even their business lives. You could possibly take them for granted. The week networks are people, you know, maybe through someone else or a new connection that you just formed. Perhaps these connections are the ones that we should nurture and explore to expand and grow our network. Maybe there are people in our networks that shouldn't be there at all. With the new year upon us, it's important to see with who and how we spend our time. There's always info out there on the Web, So doing a little Google research, I found five people around you determine your success. Another way to put it. You're the average of five people around you. Then there's the six degrees of separation principle. All people are six or less social connections away from each other. For seven there seven types of people to avoid, followed by seven types of people to attract rounding out in number eight eight types of toxic people to avoid well, looking back. Probably everyone listening has either worked with or interacted with a toxic person in their lives. The question, though. How did these interactions with toxic people affect us? To do this? Let's envision our bodies just like our vehicle getting a full tank of fuel. We get a full night of sleep, and we eat a nutritious breakfast in the morning, and we're charged up to go. However, you can't refuel your body until the following morning, so you're on a fixed supply of energy. Every interaction with someone takes a little bit of energy some more, some less each time your tank level drops a little. When you have negative interactions, though, this could lead to stress and stress. Con's zap your energy. If it's increased stress over time, it can have lasting negative effects and impacts to you. End on your brain has an example. It's easy to spot someone that's a gossip ER or a complainer. They seem to find comfort, perhaps even pleasure in talking about other people's problems or mistake someone might have made while working at their job at work. We have to interact with people, and we can't always pick and choose who we work with. We need to try to stay strong and rise above in those challenging situations, meaning Don't try to win the battle. Try to focus on winning the war, winning the long term. To do that, we try to monitor ourselves to become aware of and recognize when our emotions air coming out. This helps us respond rationally rather than emotionally. Has anyone ever had a toxic relationship with someone at work and that person was your boss or your supervisor? After I was out of college with an engineering degree and working in a professional office environment, I was interested in growth and leadership. I noticed one particular manager seemed to get continued results. I patterned my behaviors and approaches after him. Though I already was in a supervisory position, I felt it might boost my results. I didn't realize it, but that manager was ruling with an iron fist. If you've not heard of the phrase, essentially, it's someone that raises their voice, occasionally yells and might even pound their fist on the table or a desk to get someone's attention or to stop a conversation so they can interject themselves. Sure, I was getting results following the Iron Fist concept, but at what cost? As they adopted and adjusted my quote quote leadership style, I slowly alienated my team members one by one, where I used to get invited to outside events such as team members, birthday parties and special events. The invites lessened and eventually got to the point that my direct reports spouses were having their first and even second child, and I wasn't even aware or invited to the celebrations. The problem was that I patterned my behavior after a toxic person. As I mentioned earlier, this person would talk loudly, occasionally, yell, sometimes interrupt and even speak over people just to get their point across. I wasn't recognizing the negative behavior, the negative influences they were having. I was focusing on the results and the position they held in the company. After recognizing the air in my ways and doing a 180 a complete turnabout, I worked on correcting my ways, but it was difficult, if not nearly impossible, to rebuild relationships with my direct report. Team members from time to time I still go by and check on them or give a shout out to see how they're doing. And I recognize, though, that even if we have a great conversation, I remember in the back of my mind what technique that I adopted. Using that iron fist approach and the damage it caused firsthand thinking back to toxic people. We talked about different types, different traits that identify these people We need to recognize when we have involvement with them or interactions with them. If we don't limit ourselves and protect our personal fuel tank, we could be running an empty too quickly in the day or far too frequently. And that can significantly increase stress and the damaging effects of stress on our bodies and our brains. Take a look at your networks today and look out for any toxic people and potentially adjust your networks if you can. The stronger your networks are, the more likely you are to be successful. And if you haven't given Ken Coleman's Booker Reid, I'll put a link to it in the show notes. I recommend it. Please don't forget toe like us. If you find this podcast helpful, subscribe and go into the show notes to click the free downloads. Or you can go to our website and go to the show notes from the podcast and get the free downloads as well. Right now, we have a very powerful download there that is for resumes. It's called a resume tune up kit, and it has several great examples of the most common mistakes that resumes have on them and also the corrections for those along with some bonus tips. If you've ever submitted your resume online through a website or online system, they may use something called an 80 s or applicant tracking system. It has an automated set of rules when it does the scanning, and there's a lot of common mistakes out there that can cause your resume to be discarded before it even goes through the full scanning and keyword check process. So you can get that free download also by checking the show notes and getting the downloads from the links. This has been Craig and sell, reminding you we turn problems into potential and issues in the opportunities will see you next week. Piece
