Playing Injured
Playing Injured reminds us that life challenges us all—athletes aren’t the only ones who play hurt. Whether it’s setbacks or unexpected curveballs, our response defines who we are and how we grow. This podcast explores the universal journey of resilience and perseverance, inspiring listeners to face adversity head-on.
Ranked in the top 2.5% of podcasts globally, hosts Josh Dillingham and Mason Eddy—entrepreneurs and former collegiate athletes—deliver over 100 episodes featuring diverse voices. They explore mindsets, uncover strategies, and motivate listeners to thrive and play through anything.
Playing Injured
Embracing Discomfort: The Path to True Happiness w/ Kim Egel (EP 130)
This episode highlights the importance of embracing the journey of self-discovery while navigating societal pressures. Kim Eagle elucidates the distinction between being stuck and being scared, urging listeners to confront their fears and pursue their truths.
- Introduction to Kim and her journey into therapy
- The significance of being a seeker
- Fear versus genuine obstacles in life
- The impact of codependency on self-worth
- Embracing discomfort as a pathway to growth
- Tools for managing feelings of rejection and validation
Where to find Kim Eagle: Visit her website at kimeagle.com for resources and to connect on social media.
Follow Playing Injured on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/playinginjured/
All right, welcome to another episode of Playing Injured. We have Kim Eagle, who is a licensed therapist. I know you also have a wellness blog as well. How's everything?
Speaker 2:Everything's good, everything's good. I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 1:I love it. I love it. Well, I always love starting a podcast with who is Kim? Right, I gave you the title, right, therapist, but who is Kim? And, kind of, how do you spend your time today?
Speaker 2:So you know it's funny. A word came into my brain when you first said that and I think I would say seeker, like a seeker, because I think that something that I've noticed just history says I don't like to fit in just one box and I've always in my life have fit into. Sometimes it's hurt me because, you know, sometimes people are wanting you to be in a box so they can define you and you know, sometimes it's worked for me but ultimately, kind of going with what feels more organic and natural for me. It's like I'm betting on that, even in the times where it feels really scary and dark and I don't know where I'm going. You shall find, regardless if you found it yet or not, even though society says like, well, you should have found it by now, or right. There's so many parts of the path that can get a little murky, but I guess a seeker is what I would say.
Speaker 1:I love that. Have you always been that way? You think as a kid you always that way.
Speaker 2:You know, you don't, you don't have that ability to I mean, I don't know if you really even knew what was going on as a kid, because you're so put in a world that your parents are kind of curating for you and society at school and all those things. But I think that the older I got and the more I started watching people go in kind of the same direction and I was kind of standing waiting in the room going where's every, where'd everyone go? Like why do we have to go that way? Like well, how about going this way? I think it's become a really obvious as I've gotten older 100%.
Speaker 1:I love that. So when you, when you said seeker, and you also said not being put in a box, and then you also put on top of that, a lot of people go this way and I am essentially going the other way or kind of not following the crowd, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so yesterday I was actually listening to a podcast and Earl Nightingale I don't know if you've heard of him, but one of the kind of the godfathers of personal development he said that the opposite of courage is conformity, conforming to the masses. Is conformity conforming to the masses right? And so when you said that that's what made me think of courage right To be a seeker, you have to be courageous to some degree, to kind of pick your own path and go down that path. What do you think about that?
Speaker 2:about that. I, I, I agree, because I mean a. I know how I feel sometimes and it's just, it's like it's uncomfortable and I also picked this and there's no going back at this point, right? So it's almost kind of like you're, you're, you're halfway there and going back, you're going to die and going, you only can go forward.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right. So, um, I do, I, I agree with that, and and I also, I think, the more I lean into really embracing that perspective of it, versus what did I do? I shouldn't have done this, getting lost in regret, because that'll that'll really bring you down and, believe me, I've been caught there. So, it's like it's really bring you down and, believe me, I've been caught there, yeah, so it's like it's almost like you have to choose the perspective that allows you to see it in that kind of a way.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent. So what that leads me to is I was, you know, obviously looking at. You know some of your content people feeling stuck right.
Speaker 1:And honestly, you know people feeling stuck Right, and honestly, you know you talked about hey, are you actually stuck or are you scared, right? And so a lot of times we feel stuck because we've just followed the path of um, you know, hey, go to school, be a lawyer, go to school. You know, uh, you know, be a doctor, go to school, get this corporate job, climb the ladder. Not that any of that is bad, right, sure.
Speaker 2:Sure Not if it's right for you.
Speaker 1:Not right. But a lot of times you know a lot of these paths we've just followed out of because other people are doing it Right, and a lot of times you've been very successful and you can feel stuck of like wait, I'm not even where I want to be in life or I haven't even created the life that I actually want. And you feel stuck and I love how you put it it's are you actually stuck in life or are you scared?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:How can people understand those two?
Speaker 2:It's a little complex, because I also think that not everybody's ready for the truth, Right, and sometimes there's truths that we're not ready to face because it's too scary and it would. We're not ready to face because it would. It's too scary and it would require us to have to really look at something that we I mean, it's almost like hey, did you know that the partner that you with is like totally the wrong fit for you and it's never going to work out. It's like you know, sometimes we can't, we can't swallow that, so we have to put the blinders on and black that, black that notion out. That's a little bit of where we get caught in distraction and just all the things, the self-sabotage, all those kind of things.
Speaker 2:But you could argue that it's easier to go the path that's already been carved out. But is it and I think everyone kind of has to have that moment where they really ask that, Mm, hmm, everything the money, the career, the partner and we're seeing that those people aren't happy and so it's like, okay, well, that's not the answer. So what is the answer? So it's like really tapping into, like what do you really want and what do you have to face in order to really go the direction and what you really want and I think there's a lot of layers to that to really go the direction and what you really want, and I think there's a lot of layers to that, depending on where you're starting at.
Speaker 1:So I would love to start at the later of not feeling ready right, I guess. What does that mean for people not feeling ready, and is it valid? Is that valid Right?
Speaker 2:So when you say that it's interesting because there's always, there's always a a gap and it there's always a gap that might be too far for you to jump right Like it might be like too much of a leg jump, but you could always start, take a little step right. So it's like we're, I think there's a perspective of when are we ever ready, truly with, for any big thing in our life, or even any small thing? It's just a matter. It's kind of like what Nike says like just do it, just do it.
Speaker 2:It's a little bit of that mental, just like getting out of your own way, of all your stories that validate why you should just stay safe, quote unquote. I think when you start destructing things around fear and validation and really start taking a hard look at yourself and thinking about what truth is for you like your own truth, which is only something you would know that is one of the steps that just starts breaking down the iceberg, for you to start seeing with more clarity.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, man, so many layers, yeah, I love it so in feeling. And so how do you think what are some steps people can start to do to understand their truth? I think that's. Another thing is that people don't even really have that awareness, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that you know, I know some people that just don't ever want to stop and don't like to be quote, unquote alone. And I think that when you are uncomfortable with being with your own self, that sometimes is a could be a sign that you're not comfortable with your own thoughts and your ways of thinking, that you're not comfortable with your own thoughts and your ways of thinking. And when we're avoiding that, we can't really do the deeper work and the introspective work to get to more clarity. So knowing that you can become more comfortable with yourself. But it's almost like you have to put work into establishing a better relationship with you, just like if you started dating someone, you'd need to like put time and energy of getting to know another person.
Speaker 2:I always like to tell certain clients that struggle with like codependency, stuff of like date yourself, like date yourself. Really give yourself space of just sitting in the discomfort, as uncomfortable as that is. But I think there is a truth that if you want to grow, it's like growing pains Discomfort is a sign that you're expanding. So sometimes when you have a more positive connotation of something uncomfortable, it helps us just get through it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and those uncomfortable feelings. How can you deal with that? Because it's uncomfortable feelings how can you deal? With that, because it is uncomfortable being alone, right? Yeah, you know, yeah, how can people deal with?
Speaker 2:so you know it's cool because we talked a little before just about being an athlete and right. I think that when you practice discomfort in another area of your life, even physical, like let's say you start honing into just dealing with physical discomfort.
Speaker 2:I believe that everything's connected and I think when you start learning the tools how to get an ice bath and tolerate the pain and the discomfort that that brings your physical body I think you can also start translating that into dealing with mental discomfort, because you're proving to yourself that you're like you could do it. You could do something. You can do hard things. So, whatever that means, just start like what's something really small that you can do today. That's like kind of uncomfortable, yeah, Like not too uncomfortable where you're not going to do it, but kind of uncomfortable. And the more and more you do that, the more like your comfort zone it expands. So it's a practice. Right, it's like anything, everything's a practice and I think you have to practice sitting with your discomfort and being able to expand it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, one of the things I think about, like when being alone. I think about meditation, and how many people say, oh, I suck at it. Yeah, because I think it is uncomfortable to kind of sit there, and then you have all these thoughts pinging in your mind and it's uncomfortable, so it's like, ah, I don't want to do it anymore, you know, because I suck at it, or anything in life when it is new to us, it's uncomfortable and we suck at it, right, and so we stop chasing that, that discomfort feeling, and so it sounds like we need to maybe go a little bit slower, small, incremental steps of chasing discomfort in all areas of life.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Just in, maybe that area of resistance that we, that we right.
Speaker 2:Right. I always say like, as uncomfortable as it is, go toward your resistance, because on the other side of that is like it's something good. It's just something good. I can't tell you what, but when you challenge yourself, there has to be something good on the other end of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%. You said said something else too, right Kind of fear and invalidation from I guess you know it could be from a relationship. Right, you know you get validation from a relationship. You get validation from people. You know you get validation from a relationship. You get validation from people and that's also something that kind of can hold us back from you know being uncomfortable. Right, is the validation that we get from just being comfortable, you know, and getting you know, validation from our friends or a partner and kind of attaching our sense of self to these exterior things. How can folks start to kind of detach their sense of self to kind of these exterior factors that we face on a day-to-day basis?
Speaker 2:Right, there's like two things, two answers. Almost there's one of not attaching it in the first place right Like what?
Speaker 2:what do you? Where do you have to be to like, not attach it in the first place? So let's talk about the person who's single now, that's going to have the partnership. How do you not attach your worth to that future person? That's, that's coming in right. And then there's if you've already attached your worth or self to that person, what do you do in that situation? It's interesting because I think about when you talk about attachment, I you know, I automatically think about detachment, and it's like Buddhism, right, it's. I think you have to be aware that you've attached something that shouldn't have been attached and really start being able to sit with that truth and look at it and admit to it in order to start course correcting it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So it reminds me of some of the clients that I see that have codependent tendencies or are codependent, right?
Speaker 2:And so a lot of times what I'm, course, correcting during our sessions is there's a lot like we'll be talking about them and 85 percent of the session it's like within five seconds it's go, it goes back to the other person. It's like the conversation keeps being redirected back to that other person and what that's telling me is how much they have attached their worth, their life, their being, their energy to something else outside of them. So what I do to help them is I model how to redirect the energy back to themselves, right? So literally in our session I'll be like do you notice that we're like talking about him now, like I know way more about that other person her or him versus what's going on with you, and so I have to keep doing that and obviously, like my you know, my prescription is really notice when your mind starts like the cord literally starts coming out of your chest cavity and going in and wanting to plug into somebody else, and you have to really, really actively take that plug and plug it back into you.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I'll give my clients visualizations of literally taking a cord and plugging it back into their core to ground them down. So I think I think you have to be aware, but usually your life starts giving you signs and symptoms and consequences that you're not tending to yourself.
Speaker 1:So what does that look like? I guess I love first of all. I love that visual of putting that plug into yourself. And what do people start to do when they aren't kind of putting that energy into themselves? What does that look like when you start to see the symptoms?
Speaker 2:It's what it looks like when someone's lost themselves in someone else. It's just everything revolves around them, this other entity, everything's about them. So they stop their friendships, kind of stop. They don't stop putting energy into anything that was important to them before this relationship came in. Just things start going by the wayside that are important if it would take away from time and energy for them. Working out, going to school, learning, achieving your own goals, like all of that just goes away when we're talking about really severe yeah.
Speaker 2:Right. So part of that is helping somebody reconnect back to what is healthy. Like they're anchors, right. We all have like anchors that if we start like snipping the cords that are holding us stable, we're going to get really wobbly. And so it's helping somebody identify and reconnect those areas of their lives that they've let go. And as you do that, you just start like it's almost like you start getting like vitamins back into your body. You start your friendships, you start caring more about your life. It's just momentum starts taking place when you just start giving vitality and energy back into you. So at first you don't want to and there's a lot of resistance I get from these clients. But when you just start going toward, like the friendship you let go of, that was a good friendship and you start hanging out with that, like just little by little by little you just start putting energy back into you because we're trying to balance out the dynamic yeah, 100 that is, and even giving your kind of unplugging yourself and giving it to somebody else either.
Speaker 1:So that would be you just continuing to focus on your routine, your anchors I love that word, I love that word anchors in life. That's something to think about.
Speaker 2:And again I want to bring this up because it's like you're going to have resistance. It's like anything that you start you need to do differently. Like you're going to have resistance. It's like anything that you start you need to do differently. Like you're going to have resistance because you've gotten in a habit of being all about them. So the dynamic needs to get totally reconfigured and there's going to be resistance to that. There's also a lot of fear of what happens if I don't like see them all the time. Are they going to go find like right? Usually, when we lost our sense of self you know, you kind of asked this we lose our self-confidence, we lose our ability to feel good about who we are. So we need them around to validate who we are. That's when it gets really, really tricky.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and it's tough because it is something that you have to work on, right it is.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, but everything is right. Like if you don't water a plant it's going to die.
Speaker 1:Like you have to tend to yourself yeah, 100, I love that, um, and then also, too you know this goes to to like rejection, right, um, and even, like you said before, not attaching your sense of self to somebody or something in the first place. How do you kind of separate rejection of you know this is separate from who I am, or this has no barrier, you know of who I am as a person?
Speaker 2:Sure, I think generally, like generally speaking, it's just, it's not personal.
Speaker 2:It's just whether you have to just imprint that into your brain as, as personal as it could seem, it's not, it's not personal, and it's just whether you have to read the four agreements again and read agreement number three, where it's not personal whatever you need to do to just sometimes it's there are truths that we have to just constantly have in our backpack and know when to pull them out because we need to grab them and really hold onto them and remind ourselves of it. And so with rejection, I mean that's just this general, like it's not personal, and sometimes it's really untangling why you've made it so personal.
Speaker 1:That's so key. Yeah, I think in the past you know cause I've definitely struggled with rejection and you know all, all through my life, in very different areas of life relationships, sport, rejection it does hurt and I think for everybody it has some type of hurt. I think now, kind of like that bounce back power is faster, the resilience of like understanding that it's not personal in some form or way, you kind of have to go through it so that, like you said, you can untangle why you think it is personal.
Speaker 2:You just nailed it. It's like the only way out is through with all this stuff. Yeah, it makes me want to ask you like what do you? How do you think you dealt with it?
Speaker 1:Like, how did you deal with it? So I think, especially in relationships when I've been rejected, what it did was when you said untangle why it's personal. What it did was when you said untangle why it's personal. What it did was. It made me realize these underlining beliefs that I had about myself, that I didn't necessarily know that I had. You know um. You know, not being um. It was always that my value was attached to my performance, especially being an athlete.
Speaker 2:For sure.
Speaker 1:You get treated differently for performing very well, giving more effort, and so the belief that I had about myself was that me as I am is not worthy for love or worthy for the things that I want in life, right.
Speaker 1:And so when it comes to performing an effort right, especially in relationship you start to your sense of self in, like, the goal is I need to put more effort, perform better, do more, and you end up losing yourself and you kind of lose the confidence of me as I am is not good enough, right.
Speaker 1:And so how I got out of it, obviously, you know, I think it does take a long time, but I do think that you have to, like you said, get back to those anchors in life calendar on a week to week basis and scheduling it out and making sure that I have things where I'm adding value to people, um, where I'm, um, I have active goals that I'm actually pursuing, and, before you know it, you start to kind of build, build yourself back up and realize that, hey, um, you know you are good as you are and you don't have to do anything extra. You as you are is good enough. And so I think a lot of people when they take things personal. It may be, as you know, I'm not cool enough, I'm not beautiful enough. You know I'm not tall enough. You know, maybe I need to. You know, lose weight, maybe I need to gain weight. It's all these different things that goes into your mind that that person probably isn't even thinking about at all when it comes to choosing a different path than you, you know.
Speaker 1:Um, so yeah, I would say that's how I kind of got a bad path.
Speaker 2:I love it. It's you know, you you spoke to something and it's almost the answer of so many things and having this kind of lifestyle, if you will, that you're just like tending to yourself, right, like it's. It's just, it's a lifestyle Like you make sure you eat well, you make sure you like sleep well, you make sure like those things and have some things sprinkled in your week that bring you value. Yeah, like that's it, that's actually it. Like sometimes people want to over over complicate, like therapy and psychology and all this stuff, and if you just kind of do those things, like it's almost like if you're always cleaning up, cleaning your kitchen, it's never going to get super messy.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right. So it's doing that due diligence also to with the rejection you kind of nailed it is, you do have to. Sometimes it has to sit in in the seat right next to you for like a week. And it's there, it's in the room, you're feeling it, but it's also while it's there, while you're doing all those good things for yourself, and those things get momentum and eventually, when you allow something to be there, that's when it could dissipate.
Speaker 2:When you don't allow something to be there. I see people like really wanting to fight their feelings, like they don't want to feel rejection, they don't want to feel uncomfortable, and it's like when you don't look at something in the face, it can't go away uncomfortable. And it's like when you don't look at something in the face, it can't go away because you're not acknowledging it. So you just really nailed that it's like you have to acknowledge the discomfort, just acknowledge it. You don't even have to do anything about it, just kind of sometimes you have to let it be there but keep keeping on with those healthy things that you know you need to do for yourself to be healthy to be healthy, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so now it's like whenever I feel cause, um, these things, um, and and I would love to get your opinion on this, I don't know if they necessarily go away Right, like what things? Um, I would say things like, maybe codependency, things like, um, you know, being afraid of rejection, it's almost just realizing that, oh, I can start to. I'm feeling these emotions and I need to put some action into you know, putting the energy back into me, like I can slowly feel myself getting off off track. Let me get back on track. That is faster now, as opposed to getting all the way, all the way off the rails. You know, maybe it's one day of today wasn't a good day. I wonder why. Why didn't I kind of do the habits that I usually do and kind of wrapped up in the opinions of others and different things like that? Oh, I need to get back to.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, Yep, I agree, I agree with you. I think the sooner you catch yourself from going down the rabbit hole, the easier it is to get back on track. I also want to make sure to speak to the difference between something like rejection, which is a human emotion that we're all going to feel, and like codependency, which is sometimes not something everybody and you can feel have like moments of feeling you know jealous or this or that, but that goes into kind of attachment styles and when you have a general, healthy attachment style, you're, you're not some, you're not feeling the things that are going to come up with someone that has a really anxious attachment style or avoiding attachment style. But yes, they're all human emotions to feel. We're all going to feel uncomfortable feelings sometimes and almost like the quicker that you can rebound is that's going to matter a lot. I think you just that's extremely important.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that and you know, even with all these areas that we're talking about, you know, mind, body, spirit how do you think they all connect Right? I think, like, for instance, I know a lot of you know men in my life we're all focused on body, body, body, body, body, right. I don't know if we put a lot into the mental aspect of of of life, you know, actively looking to grow ourselves mentally, and then obviously spiritual Right that is. That is another deep realm, that is Right, something that is uncomfortable for a lot of folks to really deep dive into. That. How do you think all of that is connected to living our healthiest life, of kind of bringing it all together?
Speaker 2:I almost kind of want to like use you to make make the point right, cause I'm sitting here and I'm listening to you and, yes, you're an athlete and it's body, body, body. You say and I'm also listening to a very introspective, like interesting, curious man. So there you go. So like, almost like how, how have you done that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%. I, um, I think it was just going through things right. For me it was. I grew up a kind of a short, chubby kid right, where I felt that, okay, if I change my body it'll make me feel better, or, you know, maybe I'll get more attention from the girls that I liked and different things like that, or I would just feel better about myself. Then you change the body, you get a little taller and, yeah, it makes you feel good.
Speaker 1:I guess you're that validation, the validation of, oh, now you, you know you have a, you know a nice body, you're healthy, you're fit.
Speaker 1:You realize that it still didn't do it for you, right, and so you start to want to understand, hey, how can I be more confident?
Speaker 1:And then you realize, oh, it's not just from exterior things, it's from actually kind of doing things on a day-to-day basis, habits and, before you know it, all this kind of, I guess, pain that I felt as a kid. I was just trying to find the answers Right, and before you know it, you know you end up reading a lot of books and you listen to a lot of podcasts and you go to different conferences to hear people speak, and you know you try to get mentors who are further in life than you and they, you know, pour into you. And so it was just trying to find the answers, very much like what you said at the beginning of the podcast of being a seeker to get over, you know, emotional pain of being that short, chubby kid that really didn't find it in kind of the exterior validations. It was just, hey, how can I continue to find the answers? So I don't know, it just kind of happened right on the way.
Speaker 2:It's it. It almost sounds like it's such a gift, though, because I you know with having something that you had to struggle with, and it is what pushed you to want to discover what was going on and to seek answers and to seek self-introspection yeah so it's like it's. It's a double-edged sword. I've also seen people that you know.
Speaker 2:They got a lot handed to them and yeah you know everything's working out until it's not going to eventually like eventually it's. You know you could, maybe you can make it through high school and it's all good, you got everything, you're the prompting, you're the, you're everything right. But eventually what I've seen is when that person who's always kind of got everything and gotten the response from the world, that's really feeding, I don't know, just not having. You don't need to kind of work through anything. That's a struggle. I I'm concerned for that person because eventually you're not going to, you're not prepping yourself to gain the skills and tools to deal with the reality of life and, eventually, whether it's something's going to happen where things are not going to go your way. We talked about a little bit this prior yeah and so I.
Speaker 2:It's like those things that the hardships are often the north star. It's just a matter of not allowing them to take you down and getting lost in the rabbit hole of them. Right, it's this balancing act of having hard things happen but being really just mindful and intentional of how you're going to deal with that thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, how did you get into this space? What made you kind of, because I know we both talk like both former athletes. Yeah, uh, because I know you, we both talk like both, you know former athletes. Um, yeah, yeah, what did you? What made you get?
Speaker 2:into the mental space. You know it's interesting, I don't. I don't say this a lot. This is probably the first time I'm going to lead with this answer, but it's just.
Speaker 2:It's what's coming up right now but, when I was growing up I'm talking I was probably, believe, 9, 10, 11 years old I had an older sister she's about three and a half years older and she she had like a major eating disorder. Meaning, you know, inpatient like lived at UCLA Medical Center through my sixth grade year. So there was oh, and it kind of lasted for years, decades, and so I saw a lot of struggle and you know, even being from an area where you know everything's great and everyone's thriving, and you know Hawaii on Thanksgiving and just it was almost a blessing for me to see such struggle in my family and what it did to like the family unit, like parents and my sister and me, and it just I think that at the time it's funny.
Speaker 2:I look back on childhood and I'm like childhood was great. Like it was good, I was able to figure it out, I had a lot of friends, I was athletic, I had things that like kept me balanced unbalanced. But I think deep down when I really think about it, seeing that kind of mental struggle with someone that you're living in a home with and you're growing up with, you just realize that like it ain't, it ain't like perfect for everybody and that and that was that was good.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:That was good for me, but it was hard and it still is hard right, kind of just coping with the reality that you don't come from the Joneses or you know your family has issues.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is. And because I think I had that feeling recently of, like you know, once you become an adult, you realize, oh, my parents aren't perfect. Realize, oh, my parents aren't perfect. They also make mistakes too. And the reason why that came up for me is because you grow up looking to almost that's who you're looking to, that's who you rely on for survival. You create these survival tendencies for them, them and you get older and you realize, wait, I guess I don't need to be this perfect person. I can let people down sometimes and it'll be, okay.
Speaker 2:That's part of that like individuation right, when you just you kind of like your parents are your primary influences. They're teaching you about everything, about love and relationships and how to deal with your anger and right, so getting to that point where you kind of can separate and you don't have to choose the way they've done it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Even that, especially when you grew up with parents that were a little challenging or more controlling or had stuff going on with themselves, I think even more so you kind of have to have that moment where you get to decide how you're going to be to have to have that moment where you get to decide how you're going to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%. So I guess you know, I guess what we've discovered is that it comes from, especially when you said, when people are ready to kind of go down the path of, I guess, developing a healthy mind. You know healthy, you know body and spirit it is. You know you have to actually go through something that opens up that door for you.
Speaker 2:Often, often right. That's why you hear that like they have to hit bottom, like rock bottom right. You hear that term a lot. I don't think you have to to, but I think it's common that because we're humans and because we don't like until we get until like, the discomfort is like kind of just levels out when this starts happening and you're more uncomfortable than it is, than your homeostasis is yeah that's.
Speaker 1:That's when we're almost forced to change yeah, so that's when people are mostly ready, right?
Speaker 2:Well, you're pushing the corner and life will do that right.
Speaker 2:We've all had something that was a murmur starts becoming a little louder and then it starts screaming at you. I think we all have, and I believe life will do that to you. I see it all the time with doing what I do and getting to listen to life, people's lives, right? You see that when people don't listen, you watch how it keeps knocking on the door and it'll knock quiet and then it'll get louder and then it'll start banging and it's so interesting on looking that like for 20 years I've listened to countless people and you're just, you're watching how that always is what happens.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%. One thing I'm thinking about, especially with therapists, is how do you stay on top of and obviously, how do you stay on top of your game on a daily basis? And maybe you're not on top of your game, right, it's almost impossible. But to show up for other people, you almost have to take that seriously, as opposed to you know some people who can you know. Hey, I'm not on top of my game today and I can kind of get by today.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I hear you At like 60%. How do you show up on a day-to-day basis, like with energy, with enthusiasm?
Speaker 2:I love that question because I mean I completely do, that's how I do this, like it's a responsibility.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I feel like it's my responsibility for the people who come to see me and pick me out, that I want to offer them that and it's interesting. I think that it's a way easier thing to do now that I work for myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that it's a way easier thing to do now that I work for myself and that I get to create, you know, a, a lifestyle that's just balanced. And maybe this it's just it's never been hard for me to stay that balanced because I think I think you know, I don't know that just that hasn't been something really hard for me. I just I've always kind of like kept my physical up. I've always kind of I'm not so like oh gosh, that that thing I want to go to, that, you know, stay out so late, cause I just I know how to like discipline.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's it is like self-discipline, discipline, maybe it's.
Speaker 2:it is like self-discipline and I think that when I have the aim of doing my job as good as I can and I know the important things that I need to do for myself to give that kind of a product or show up a certain way to my clients, it's just a hard no yeah maybe that's why I balance it right. It's just it's a hard no if something gets in the way of me being able to do my job efficiently. It's a hard no, and maybe that was something.
Speaker 2:That's kind of something I made a decision about way back when yeah, so it's having like very strong boundaries but I think I yeah like you working for yourself, you also give yourself the opportunity to plan these things around 100% and I once did not work for myself and I worked in jobs that overloaded me and that was part of the quest to like hustle to be able to be here now, because that was so I couldn't. I couldn't have done that and certain been balanced and done. You know, in certain environments I couldn't have, and that's when I knew that I I had to go and figure this kind of a situation out for myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. I've always cause. I think that's something we can bring into our lives of being on top of our game. Yeah, On a you know, on a consistent basis, Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:From kind of the decisions you made, you know, the night before, the week before, yeah, and building momentum to where it is just yeah, right, yeah, no. I love that and I think we all can use stronger barriers or boundaries in our life for those reasons, so that we can show up as our best, not just so you can stop being codependent, right, no. I love it. Where can, where can folks find you? Where can they kind of follow your content? And that nature.
Speaker 2:Um, a good place to find me is just my website, so it's kim eaglecom, and on there you can find my socials. You can find me at Instagram at I am Kim Eagle and, pretty much with my website, you'll be able to contact me um my LinkedIn, pinterest, all the all the social stuff. And I also write a blog where I try to really bring in the topics that I'm hearing from clients. I just take in kind of what I'm listening to and what I'm hearing and I try to make content to help others of just relevant stuff that I know people are going through. And I also have a YouTube channel so you can find me on YouTube.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I um, you know, obviously I you have a great YouTube channel Um very easy to listen to, um, very helpful for even, like, if somebody is you know first thing they can listen to in the morning, very um kind of like a a quick punch of value that people can get in like five, ten minutes um to listen to um. I listened to a handful of them before we chatted oh cool I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:And just to say this, like I almost want to call myself out, like that's something that I'm still kind of like. Oh god, really really, josh. You thought they were like it's almost just that like for me and I, I think you might be able to just like I don't know if it's an athlete mentality, but it's almost just that like for me and I, I think you might be able to just like I don't know if it's an athlete mentality, but it's just like that, never good enough yes like never good enough, never good enough.
Speaker 2:I personally like right now I'm like battling that. So just even getting that feedback from you, like I so appreciate it, and I also say that to just be like, hey, as much as it sounds like us therapists have it all together, it's like we all have our struggles and that's real and it's just moving through it.
Speaker 1:But yeah, no, I love it, and it's always hard to see yourself from the outside in. Yeah, for sure it doesn't feel you know I'm like man, my voice sounds different than what I actually think it sounds like. Yeah, different things, yeah, cool, I love that. Yeah cool, I love that. Well, kim, we appreciate you. You added a ton of value to us today and this is just a really, really just great conversation for folks, so I definitely appreciate you.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I appreciate you. It was awesome talking to you.
Speaker 1:I love it.
