#1769 - You’ll Never Get Positive Results With A Negative Mindset

What mindset leads to success? In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros explore how your mindset affects your results. They share stories and insights about the beliefs that hold people back and how changing your mindset can lead to personal growth. Hear real-life examples, learn the difference between fixed and growth mindsets, and get practical tips to start seeing positive changes. Tune in to discover how to transform your thinking and set yourself up for success in every part of your life.

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Show notes:
(1:57) Story about mindset and TikTok
(4:19) Mindset as a self-fulfilling prophecy
(7:26) Growth mindset spectrum
(13:50) Assess this for yourself
(15:01) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/
(16:10) Building confidence through action
(20:03) Success Vs. Failure for long-term
(24:24) 9 losses and 1 win
(27:11) Perso

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1769, you'll never get positive results with a negative mindset. That right there is bumper sticker self-improvement, and you've been hearing me talk about that very often recently. But I have a story and obviously we will dive deeper into it because that is what we do here. So I have a TikTok not because I want one, but I know it's one way to grow, impact and grow the business and everybody's on it and everybody's telling my screen just moved and everybody's telling everybody they got to be on it. So, okay, let's, we'll give it a shot. We're creating a lot of content. Let's throw it up.

Story about mindset and TikTok

Speaker 1 0:47

On tiktok, well, we did an episode recently where we were talking about I think it was the best advice and the worst advice we'd ever gotten, or something like that and I was talking about how one of the quotes that really has helped me understand life at a deeper level is many of us think we're going to be stuck where we are today forever and we assume that where somebody is today is where they've been forever, Something along those lines and that ended up being a teaser clip that went on TikTok. And obviously the thought behind that clip is if you feel like where you are today is where you're going to be stuck forever, you're not going to invest in your future. And if you feel like someone has been where they are today forever, you're going to lose sight of all the amazing, challenging hard work that went into them achieving that result. And somebody commented and they said well, that's the way it is. It is the fact that where you are today is where you're most likely going to end up being stuck. I've worked at a job with somebody who worked there for 15 years longer than I did, and they were barely making any more money than I was. And I commented back. I said I'm not trying to be rude or something. I don't remember what it was. It was pretty much I'm not trying to be a butthead, but I used to think that way too, and it's taken years and years and years of hard work, but I don't think that way anymore. Just kind of as like a gentle rebuttal of what we're talking about today. I'm willing to bet that that person is most likely going to end up feeling more stuck than the average person, Not because they're not intelligent, not because they don't have work ethic A lot of it's going to and I'm not saying they do have intelligence or work ethic, I don't know them but that mindset is very, very, very limiting. We've all met someone who says, well, that'll never work, that could never work. Well, why are you wasting your time doing that? Well, it's not worth me asking that person out it. Well, why are you wasting your time doing that? Well, it's not worth me asking that person out, it's not worth me applying for that job. Those people, unfortunately, most likely aren't going to make it very far because it's a mindset.

Speaker 1 2:52

Alan and I, in the very beginning of this, we used to talk about how I was. I think I was a realist. I don't think I was a pessimist. I think I was a realist more than anything, and Alan was an extreme optimist and there was always that thought of Alan's going to win more than I will, because he's going to take more shots than I do. He's also going to lose more than I do, but in the grand scheme of things, he's going to win more than I do. And I think if I was a pessimist, I don't really think I was. I think I was. I really think I was a realist. I do now more than ever. I think I was a realist based on some data that we have now that we didn't before.

Speaker 2 3:27

But you were certainly more accurate than I thought. I was more accurate in some ways, right.

Speaker 1 3:32

I was less accurate in other things than I thought, but definitely that's really the thought for this episode. I know it seems overly simplistic, but if you have you ever seen the movie the Kingsman.

Speaker 2 3:53

No, I think it's Kingsman.

Mindset as a self-fulfilling prophecy

Speaker 1 3:54

It's a movie about spies. It's really cool. It's funny, it's new age. It's really cool. It's a really good movie. But there's this scene where they're training these spies and they're all pretty young, so they're training them up and one of the training exercises they're in this bathroom and it just starts filling with water and it floods. It floods to the very top and they have to find their way out and everybody's doing something different trying to figure out the way out and I think eventually somebody no, they didn't find out, I think the main character breaks the glass and they get sucked into another room and they survive. But evidently you can stick a hose up through the toilet. You can breathe that way. I'm not into trying that, that's not the point of the story.

Speaker 1 4:39

But imagine if you were in that scenario. You would try every single option to get out of that room. You would exhaust every single option. But if you were the type of person in that room who the second it started filling up with water, you said, ah shit, this is it, this is the end. You would just sit there like the couple in the titanic who just went to bed and most likely perished. They most likely perished.

Speaker 1 5:09

I'm guessing that they didn't come out of that bed when Jack and Rose fought and fought and fought and fought and fought. Now, spoiler alert unfortunately Jack didn't make it, couldn't get on the door. You know, come on, man, what are we doing? Rose made it, but just as a kind of funny, lighthearted example, those are mindsets. They're just different mindsets, and mindset is something we talked about recently when we talked about the two most powerful books. But I want to do another episode on it, because I think it's really telling and sad that this person most likely is going to create the life that they're imagining because of their mindset. I think that sometimes it's a self-fulfilling prophecy where, if you think something is going to happen and that's your limiting belief, unfortunately that thing ends up happening.

Speaker 2 5:57

Yeah, seven years ago, kevin and I would debate all the time about who would be successful and what mindset to adopt. And the hyper-conscious podcast changed the way you think, changed the way you act, changed the way you live, and we would mastermind and we spent every Father's Day together and we talked a lot more than we walked back then. No, so I think we were walking our talk for the place of the business we were in genuinely, but we did a lot of learning and masterminding and talking and deep conversations about mindset. It was character over everything. Back then it was self-awareness over everything and this was before the business grew and now a lot more of our focal point.

Speaker 2 6:38

It's very different, kev. Before I got in the studio today, he was playing a song by the Outfield Josie's on a vacation far away and we used to play that in the studio all the time and so very nostalgic. Things are so different. Now. Some things are the exact same and some things are so different. One of the things that's very different is just the business focus. The ship will sink if we don't focus on growing the business, whereas back then it was just a simpler time so we were always talking hobby.

Speaker 1 7:13

That's what I say. In the very beginning it was kind of like a convenient hobby. Sorry to interrupt you. No, that's all I have to say. Yeah, that.

Growth mindset spectrum

Speaker 2 7:21

No, that's okay, that's all I have to say. Yeah, that's it, that's the end. Convenient hobby that you want to grow, that you want to do for the rest of your life, yeah, which requires you to build a business. And so, yeah, meaningful progress toward meaningful goals for a meaningful purpose. But we talked mindset all the time, and I had back then what I refer to now as a super growth mindset, and kev had, way back, a super fixed mindset. So so, but not during the podcast days, all right. So carol dueck's book mindset that you mentioned on the last episode no, this was.

Speaker 1 8:04

I don't know. This was maybe, maybe last week at some point.

Speaker 2 8:06

Okay, we talked about my favorite book, rationality. We talked about Kevin's favorite book, mindset, by Carol Dweck. Since reading that book and since contemplating mindset, and there's another book called Limitless by Jim Quick that talks about mindset method, and I forget what. The third one is Method, mindset method and I have no idea.

Speaker 1 8:31

It was another.

Speaker 2 8:32

M, I forget, but anyways, mindset was a big, big, big focal point In the beginning. Alan, we get it, thank you. You get to the point I've now come to understand and since I've reflected on mindset and now that I've coached so many different types of people some people have high self-belief, some people have low self-belief, some people have high self-worth, some people have low self-worth all these different types of people All of us have I've broken the mindset thing into more categories, so it's a spectrum now. So imagine zero to 10. The zero has what I refer to as a super fixed mindset. It sounds to me like whoever commented on your TikTok was near zero.

Speaker 1 9:12

Yeah, I would say so, Unfortunately.

Speaker 2 9:13

Super fixed mindset means you do not believe that you can improve the external world and you do not believe that you can improve yourself. That's a super fixed mindset, Very pessimistic. Then the next stage we'll call this 2.5, so 0 to 2.5. 2.5 is a semi-fixed mindset. A semi-fixed mindset is someone who believes they can improve things externally. You can improve your car, you can improve your home, you can renovate your bathroom, you can improve your processes, you can improve at work, but you don't believe in self-improvement yet. You don't believe you can change your level of humility, you don't believe you can change your level of self-belief. You don't believe you can change and improve yourself yet.

Speaker 2 9:56

Okay, Five is, I think, a growth mindset. Then you've got and so now your zero is super fixed. Then you've got semi-fixed, then you've got growth. Then you've got like growth plus at 7.5. Okay, so let me define growth. Growth is you believe you can improve yourself and you believe you can improve things externally, but not that much. I would say that's where you were back then. Believe you can improve things externally, but not that much. I would say that's where you were back then. My future most likely will be a plus 10% of what it is now and then plus 10% of that, and then plus 10. Okay, awesome.

Speaker 1 10:34

Incremental improvement over time.

Speaker 2 10:35

Great.

Speaker 2 10:37

Now you have growth plus, which is someone who believes not only can I improve myself and others, but I can improve the way I improve others and I can lead leaders and I can build something that's meaningful beyond myself.

Speaker 2 10:52

Then you've got what I now refer to as a super growth mindset. That I actually think has devastating effects. A super growth mindset is where I was back then, so Kev was at probably five with growth. I was at. Super growth mindset is where I was back then, so Kev was at probably five with growth. I was at super growth. And super growth is I believe I can change the world.

Speaker 2 11:14

I believe that I can change. I can change everything about myself. I believe that I can mitigate every weakness. I believe I can have strengths without the weakness I believe. I believe, I believe, I believe and it's Candyland fairytale level stuff. Now, I'm not trying to hate on my past self because, truth be told, a lot of what we've achieved is predicated on the fact that obviously we believed in it, and one of the reasons we believed in it is because of my super growth mindset.

Speaker 2 11:44

The super growth mindset is dangerous because it's predicated on a false reality and I now understand if you've ever heard someone say I can do anything I set my mind to. That's a super growth mindset, but it's inaccurate. You cannot win a strongman competition just because you try real hard. You cannot be a billionaire just because you feel like you should be able to. You cannot be an opera singer that starts at 50 and beats the people who started at five years old. It's just an inaccurate statement. You're not going to be faster than Usain Bolt the fastest man alive and thinking that you can and investing your decades into that endeavor is actually detrimental, because what could you have done with that time that actually was accurate and tangible in the world? And so I'm not making any of these wrong. What I am saying is try to identify which one you're on. So the full tens are a little bit delusional and a little bit because some of it maybe you could change the world right. So I mean some people have.

Speaker 2 12:47

So I would say you got to assess this for yourself. Then you've got growth plus, which is I can improve myself and others, I can improve processes and others. I can do this, I can build this, I can make this happen. Then I can make this happen. Then you've got growth, which is, yeah, I think we could get a little better. We could definitely get a little better. We can get a little better Awesome. Then there's semi-fixed, which is I can improve the process, I can improve the business, I can improve my car, I can improve my house, but I'm not going to change the world and I definitely am not going to look in the mirror and improve anything about me. And you kind of can't win with a super fixed mindset. You can't improve yourself or others. You don't believe. It's almost like you believe. Well, I got a C plus. I'm bad at math.

Assess this for yourself

Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching.

Speaker 1 13:32

Instead of hey, you could try for a B. Well, I think of it, as we've talked many times about the trials and tribulations of Kevin's job hunt in various times in my life, and one of the reasons I think I jumped from job to job that I didn't like is I was afraid to apply for jobs because I didn't think I'd ever get them. I was afraid to do interviews because I was like what's the point? What's the point of the interview? I'm not going to get the job. That became the proof. That's the problem is it becomes the proof and then the proof becomes the reality. It's the problem is it becomes the proof and then the proof becomes the reality. It's just a self-fulfilling. I know it's not this simple. Obviously it's not as simple as that. But if and this wasn't the case for me, this wasn't my upbringing. But say I was raised and my parents said you can't do anything, kev, you're not that smart, you're not that talented. That's not the way I was raised. I wasn't raised that way. So a lot of this stuff is from other stuff. But imagine the first time I get a job, I'm probably not going to think I'm worthy of the job, and then that's going to become this cycle that I have forever and that always becomes the foundation of everything I do. It's always that story, it's always the story in the back of your head. Well, I'm yeah. Maybe if I get lucky if I get lucky I'll get the job. Or maybe, if nobody else applied for it, I'll get the job. That became the internal dialogue for a long time, and I think that's where the lack of self-belief comes in. Now. I think one of the reasons I have more self-belief is just because I have more proof. That's all it is.

Speaker 1 15:06

I saw maybe you'll know what movie this is from, I don't know. I saw a clip today. It's george clooney in a movie and he's talking to someone and he said look, I know you're scared and I know you're scared shitless, but you gotta go do the thing, because when you go do the thing, it builds confidence, not the other way around. And the guy he was saying it to looked at him. He said that's kind of a messed up way for it to work, huh. And he said yeah, I know, but that's just the way it goes. I don't know what movie that's from, but it was. It was very funny because I think it it kind of is.

Building confidence through action

Speaker 1 15:32

It's true, it's not that person and again, I'm not hating on this person. I genuinely I empathize because I know I've been there 1000, and I'm not talking about them, I'm just using that as an example for today's episode. But unless, by some unique piece of luck, they have a life-altering event I'm not saying luck, that part but then they're able to take that as something positive and then they shift their life, they may end up doing the same thing for the rest of their life and they may end up saying, well, it's not worth me going and getting a degree, it's not worth me doing a side hustle, learning a new skill, networking, finding a mentor, and then you end up stuck. It is this weird, weird, weird thing. It's this very, very strange thing.

Speaker 1 16:23

I needed a mentor, but I didn't think I was worthy of one and I didn't want to ask Because I didn't think they'd say yes, alan, you didn't need mentors as much as I did. But you went and asked and you got a bunch of them. Isn't that wild? Isn't it wild how you had an abundance of everything that I needed and I never would have gotten it, most likely because I always thought, well, I'm not, nobody's gonna want to mentor me. I'm not. I didn't go to college. I'm not that smart. Our past is this weird, weird, weird thing that just perpetuates our future if we don't change up the proof. But that's really challenging to do what a philosophical conversation about.

Speaker 2 17:02

Would you rather be delusional and then be constantly up against that delusion, realizing that you shot a lot of shots and got pretty far, but not as far as you thought? Or would you rather just be correct and not shoot?

Speaker 1 17:20

I think it's. Would you rather be delusional or correct? Because I was delusional, that person's most likely delusionally under.

Speaker 2 17:27

Yeah, they're not accurate.

Speaker 1 17:29

Yeah, that's a great point.

Speaker 2 17:30

Right.

Speaker 1 17:30

So would you rather be delusional or accurate?

Speaker 2 17:33

This is why I believe so much in statistics. I'm so I really want this to land, hopefully, in a new way right now. I will never forget this as long as I live. It was summer, way back. What was I 22? I think I was 22.

Speaker 2 17:50

And there was this woman who was dating my not dating best friends with my girlfriend, and so I was dating her and it was her best friend and she would come party with us and we had a blast and I forget what. What the hell was her name? Whoa. She was applying to jobs all summer and I was applying to jobs. This is when I first come back from la and I applied to a bunch of jobs and this is when I first started the whole. You know sensata technologies. I job hopped a bunch through through corporate. This was like the beginning ish of my corporate climb.

Speaker 2 18:27

So from 21 to basically 26, that that sort of space, and I remember this. We were at a bonfire and she's like I applied to jobs all summer and I just haven't gotten any. There's no jobs. And this is back before I knew anything. So I was probably unintelligently ignorant when it comes to her lack of belief and I said well, how many jobs did you apply to? And she said, oh, it's been at least three or four. And I was like, oh my god, and now I would handle this differently. Now I said her name's kerry, now I found it. I said kerry, I applied to like 150.

Speaker 2 19:11

Like, of course, I got one of them yeah, dude she literally said verbatim I've been applying to jobs all summer and I had applied to like 50 jobs a day at one point and I got a job at Sensata Technologies and then I worked there and then I got a job at Cognex. And I remember having that thought of Kerry. I probably said this to her because I didn't realize that no one cares. But I probably probably said, kerry, you're not going to get a job if you only shot your shot four times. That's like taking four half court shots hoping one of them is going to go in when you're not even good at basketball.

Speaker 1 19:51

there's a reason they give you 50, thou if you, if they pull you out of the crowd, you make it, son, because it's it's that one in a, one in a million shot, I wonder sometimes.

Speaker 2 20:04

Kev reached out to Evan Carmichael and said hey, how do you get more speeches? He's one of the most prolific speakers really in the world. Honestly, at this point, yeah, he's probably one of the best highest paid speakers in the world. Cool, all right. So Kevin said how do we get more speeches? He said 100 times your effort. So, however many messages you're sending, which Evan said, how do we get more?

Speaker 2 20:23

speeches he said, 100 times your effort. So, however many messages you're sending, which is zero, do 100x that. So, evan, we're sending zero still. No, I'm kidding, but I agree with him. It's just apply to more jobs, because statistics show that you're going to miss the majority of the time, and that's why I think baseball is actually a good metaphor, even though I think it's the most boring game in the world.

Speaker 1 20:45

It is very boring.

Speaker 2 20:46

It's a really good metaphor, because even the Hall of Fame hitters only hit what a 40%.

Speaker 1 20:52

I mean, the best of all time is yeah 40 what a great metaphor 32, 30 to 34 is like world class world class.

Speaker 2 21:04

So 30.

Speaker 1 21:05

So if you get 34 on base, you're world class I don't, I wouldn't say on base, because there's like walks and errors and stuff like that. But yeah, if your batting average is 34%, if you're hitting the ball and getting on base that way, 34% of the time, you're doing really well yeah.

Speaker 2 21:25

Okay, I think that's a great metaphor. So I applied to, let's say, 200 jobs and I got 20 callbacks and I did 10 interviews and then I got three of those jobs and one of them is an offer I actually want to take, versus Kerry, who applied to four and got no callbacks and then told herself the story that there's no jobs.

Speaker 1 21:46

I understand.

Speaker 2 21:47

I think in many regards that's the difference between success and failure right there, at least long term.

Speaker 1 21:53

That's the difference between success and failure right there, at least long term, I would agree. I message, so I'm looking for a therapist. And again, I'm Kerry. In this situation, I message like four, but I wasn't. It's not like I expected all of them to reach out, but one of them reached out to me today.

Speaker 2 22:05

I was like all right, cool, but prior to her reaching out.

Speaker 1 22:11

what did you think was going to happen? I thought maybe one would get back, Maybe. What would old Kevin have done? Oh, he would have assumed I'm broken. They probably didn't like my message that I sent.

Speaker 2 22:22

That was probably that was.

Speaker 1 22:23

It was more this time about just lack of time. It's like I'll send four and see what happens. If nothing happens, I'll send another four and then I'll send 10. It's just a timing, a timing issue more than anything but can you explain how different that is to old Kevin?

Speaker 2 22:38

Like? That mentality is exactly how success works.

Speaker 1 22:41

Yeah, it's, I don't know because it's again. It's like the bumper sticker stuff. If you're no, I can't even say it because I know it wouldn't resonate with me. You're most likely going to sift through losses to eventually find wins. It's not going to be the other way around. You're not going to have nine wins in one loss. You're most likely going to have nine losses in one win, but the win is going to make up for all the losses almost every time, because the losses are usually very small. It's just a no as opposed to you dying yeah, it might be a no thank you.

Speaker 1 23:17

Might be a no thank you and I've gotten a lot of those recently and it's like understandable, you, you, uh, you and I were talking. The other day there was somebody that you and I know and I thought this person might end up a client. They're just a really good person, a really good human. You said whatever happened, human. And you said whatever happened with that person and I said, ah, they weren't interested.

Speaker 2 23:36

They wanted to invest their oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I thought that was high probability. Yeah, same, that would be awesome.

Speaker 1 23:40

And they wanted to invest their money elsewhere, and that was it. It's like no worries, cool, and I still love you. I'll still love your content. I'm more sad than anything because I really like the person, but I'm not sad for me.

Speaker 2 23:56

Last thing, I know we've got to jump. Yeah, quickly, quickly, quickly. There's a concept in psychology called personalization and in relationship talks events, Emilia brings up a lot of really cool psychological concepts that help people in relationships and I basically learn it and present it as a strong speaker, but a lot of this is new to me.

Speaker 1 24:17

Yeah, it's story of my life for the last.

9 losses and 1 win

Speaker 2 24:20

Personalization. The definition I wish I had in front of me is If kev reached out to that person and said, hey, do you want to work with us? And then that person said, no, I'd really rather invest my money elsewhere. Someone who has a high level of personalization would then personalize that as our service or our product sucks. Yeah, now, there's a benefit to that. If your reaction to that is hey, man, alan, we got to get a better offer. We got to make a better offer. We gotta. We gotta find a way to lower the price. We gotta find a way to improve the product. We gotta find a way to add more value. We got to find a way to lower the price. We got to find a way to improve the product. We got to find a way to add more value. We got to do better marketing strategy. That's great.

Speaker 2 24:57

But if you personalize it and allow that to leak into your identity, like I'm a sucky salesperson, or it's never going to work out for me, or they didn't like me, then that's dangerous. If it stops you from shooting your next shot, if it stops you from getting up to bat again. If you're going to get up to bat again, awesome. Personalize it. Make your product better, make your service better, make your sales presentation better, get better. I'm with it. Don't personalize it if it's going to stop you from getting back to bat, because that's a good way to fail forever. If you're going for grand slams, you're in trouble. You might end up hitting a grand slam, but you can't go for a grand slam, especially not in the beginning, and that's like trying to get a video to go viral. We've got 1,700 and something and we still haven't. So just we're shooting our shots. Maybe one day it happens, but that's not why we're playing and I think that that's a good metaphor.

Speaker 1 25:52

Well, if we talked about something more sexy, you know, maybe if we got really jacked and we did this podcast without our shirts on, that would help yeah, that might give it a shot, or maybe that would be it.

Speaker 2 26:03

Or how many years do you need to get more jacked?

Speaker 1 26:06

oh, I would say, within the calendar year will be okay, but I'm gonna really, you know, really stick with it for the next five months we're going to talk about. We're going to talk a little bit about something related to what we talked about today. Tomorrow, based on what Alan just said. If you are focused on getting better every single day, a little bit, a little bit, a little bit, a little bit, it adds up. Little by little we improve. Make sure you are subscribed to this podcast. Wherever you are watching and or listening, we appreciate it and it helps us grow, and when we grow, we can help more people. So, if you want to help us help more people, amazing, hit the subscribe button. The algorithm really likes it. So that would very much help us out. Alan, what do you have?

Speaker 2 26:48

what do I have?

Speaker 1 26:49

what do you have? We have a book club.

Personalization

Speaker 2 26:50

Every saturday we have a monthly meetup. Every month we have a Dreamliner journal. Go to the website nextleveluniversecom. There's so much more to NLU than most listeners, particularly new listeners, know. Nextleveluniversecom spelled just like it sounds We've got group coaching, we've got everything is there? Check it out. Check out the landing page if you have any questions email us.

Speaker 1 27:15

As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at nlu we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow. Keep shooting shots next time.