Next Level University
Confidence, mindset, relationships, limiting beliefs, family, goals, consistency, self-worth, and success are at the core of hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros' heart-driven, no-nonsense approach to holistic self-improvement. This transformative, 7 day per week podcast is focused on helping dream chasers who have been struggling to achieve their goals and are seeking community, consistency and answers. If you've ever asked yourself "How do I get to the next level in my life", we're here for you!
Our goal at NLU is to help you uncover the habits to build unshakable confidence, cultivate a powerful mindset, nurture meaningful relationships, overcome limiting beliefs, create an amazing family life, set and achieve transformative goals, embrace consistency, recognize your self-worth, and ultimately create the fulfillment and success you desire. Let's level up your health, wealth and love!
Next Level University
#1627 - Self Sabotage VS Self Survival
In this episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros discuss the delicate balance between self-sabotage and self-preservation when faced with the prospect of success. They explore the weight of responsibility accompanying achievement and delve into the essence of perseverance versus caution. Whether you’re an entrepreneur or on a personal development journey, their insights shed light on sustaining success while remaining true to your core values.
Links mentioned:
Next Level Dreamliner - https://a.co/d/f1FWAQA
Next Level Live - Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 (10:00 am to 4:30 pm) https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-live/
______________________
NLU is more than just a podcast; we have many more resources to help you achieve your goals and dreams.
For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇
Website 💻 http://www.nextleveluniverse.com
_______________________
Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-book-club/
Next Level Monthly Meetup: https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/
_______________________
We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email.
Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/
Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/
Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com
_______________________
Show notes:
(2:44) Sustainable success matters
(5:59) Staying true to our core values
(7:39) Your goals, your essence
(10:06) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/f1FWAQA
(11:51) Optimal choice
(12:59) Time and reflection
(15:03) Graceful strength within
(16:20) Upside, downside, balance
(19:23) Outro
Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your Health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode, episode number 1626. Do you feel like you're too much? I enjoyed that episode very, very much. We had some funnies in there. We were very tired, so when we, when we get burnt out towards the end of the night, those episodes are always goofy.
Speaker 1:Today, for episode number 1627, self sabotage versus self survival, alan said to me when we were Discussing this. He said why are we, why are we doing this? Why do you want to do this episode? And he said I don't know if there's a lot of value I can add, because I don't know if this is something I experienced. I said no worries, I think it's an. It's a good discussion. Where will it go? I don't really know, but it all came to me from.
Speaker 1:We have a very successful client and this person is a Large part of something we're doing. We make a fair amount of money every single month off this person. This person's one of our higher Paying clients, I guess, just because we're doing so much for them. But it also comes with a massive amount of pressure. And every time this person texts me I get anxious and Sometimes the last thing I think about before I go to bed, the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. And I had a moment where I told Alan, I said I there was a part of me that just wanted to say, honestly, I think you'd be better off with someone else, not because we're not doing a good job, not because we don't have a great relationship. This person, I have a really good relationship. And and I said to Alan, I said I know that some people might look at that and say, oh, you're self sabotaging. You're quite literally deciding that the goals that you have set for the amount of clients you want to serve or the amount of money you want to make in the business or whatever it is You're sabotaging that by getting out from underneath the weight of the load, under the weight of the pressure. This is my new thought and we've kind of been touching on this through line, but I am. I am so Aligned with this, now more than ever You're never actually gonna succeed at the level you want to succeed if it's not, if it's not the sustainable amount anyway. So you're not really self-sabotaging. You might be self Surviving because you know that you can't play at the level you're playing, and I really think that's an important thing, because I was thinking of this too.
Speaker 1:You know the best people to give you advice, whether you're watching or listening. Yes, it's people that know things. Of course, people that are ahead of you. They have results that you desire. They have experience that you desire, or they have experience that maybe you don't. They have wisdom that you don't have yet, but they also have similar core values, and the reason is because they can advise you on what's important to you. Where Somebody who doesn't care about family hypothetically, their advice is gonna be completely different. And if you're somebody who's really focused on family, you're gonna have that moment where you think to yourself None of this is aligned, you don't get me, and if this is what it takes to win, I don't want to do it, and I'm just that more than ever, because we've had mentors in the past that were really good mentors for you, but they didn't resonate as much with me, and we've had mentors in the past that were really good mentors from me, but they didn't resonate with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's very clear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's because the core values were different. Yeah, agreed.
Speaker 2:I can think of.
Speaker 1:I can think of Evan Carmichael. Evan Carmichael is someone we still produce his podcast. He's a I would say he's a friend now, but I resonate with Evan so much because he's he's just different. He's not like dialed in all the time. He plays video games, he goes to the zoo, he does you know, he does Evan stuff, but I also understand that he is a psycho with consistency though, but he's extremely consistent. But I resonate with that. I'm very consistent, but I also like to. I like to wander occasionally. Yeah, I love you, brother, if you ever were to listen to this.
Speaker 2:But you lost me after saying long-term strategic thinking is stupid. That was the end For me. Long-term strategic thinking is not stupid, I concur. It's actually magnificent and super important.
Speaker 1:I can say that he's like Alan, if you can if you can predict what you're gonna do 10 years from now you should be president.
Speaker 2:It's like a whole thing. So anyways, yeah, we were on his while we interviewed him for his YouTube channel.
Speaker 1:There was a. It was an interesting moment, but again I'm just thinking of that. You, sometimes saying no to an opportunity that you know isn't aligned is not self-sabotage, it's self-survival. And I just yesterday was a heavy day, so that's why I was like questioning everything. I'm good, everything's fine, but yesterday was just one of those days where it's like I am so anxious, I feel like I am so overwhelmed, I can't even think straight, I can't be present, like I am really riding the struggle bus and it makes sense why somebody would tap out to that and say, honestly, this isn't it. I don't wanna do this anymore. This isn't what I signed up for.
Speaker 1:I can understand that and I have a new, the most accurate level of empathy I think I ever have before, and I just wanna do a better job of communicating to people, whether it's podcast clients or when I'm on other podcasts, and I always try to do a really good job of this. I don't want you to have my goals. I don't wanna try to inspire you to get to the point where you set goals like I don't want you to have my goals Unless you have my core values. Unless you have my core beliefs, unless you value the things I value, because if not, this is a false, empty journey that you're never gonna actually follow through with, because it's not what you're supposed to be doing. And I know we've done that episode, but I just had a moment that it just made a lot of sense.
Speaker 2:I have a client who I also agree with you. By the way, I've come to understand, as we've matured, how not complete our thinking was when it came to helping people achieve their goals or set their goals or those kinds of things. Your goals should be a byproduct of you, and if you're setting goals based on some idealized version of what you think you're supposed to set, like at the very beginning of this journey I mean, think about it you were setting goals that you thought you needed to have in order to be successful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2:And I think that as a mentor or a guide or a coach comes into your life, you can kinda start to realize you know what. Maybe that's not optimal for me, but you kinda have to start somewhere. So I think it's a good start. I think it's a good start. You set a goal. Maybe it's too high, maybe it's too low in this metaphor For me I actually had the opposite experience, where I'll give this example.
Speaker 2:I have a client I've been coaching with her for years. She, in a actual call, she said I need to be more than a stay at home mom. I can't do this. And I empathize completely with that. I totally understand. I told this person. I said listen, you're never gonna be fulfilled hanging out. I know your type. She's an achiever through and through. Every single fabric of this woman's being is just achievement. She just loves to kick ass at everything she does. She loves it. She can't stand being mediocre, she can't stand it, she hates it. And there'll be these chapters in her life where she's kinda down and out and she's not dialed in and she's well, you know, I'm gonna take the summer and I'm gonna kinda enjoy myself and I'm sitting there in the back of my head going. You're not gonna enjoy yourself. This is not who you are. This is you're not fulfilled because you're not in alignment with who you are. Can you imagine me taking the summer off?
Speaker 1:No, Seriously no no Dude.
Speaker 2:how unfulfilled would I be, Seriously, if I took the whole summer off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the most, the most unfulfilled.
Speaker 2:I'm an achiever. I always have been and I always will be, and I need to accept who I am, for who I am, and design a life around that. And for people who do not resonate at all with what I just said, do not set achiever goals. This person I'm referring to wants to have a net worth that is beyond the statistical norm by a drastic amount. Coaches with me consistently always ask me to be harder on her. She's just crushing it and crushing it in the things that are important to her. So when you say self-sabotage versus self-survival, all I can think about is an optimal choice. What is the optimal choice for you? What is the optimal amount of work for you? If you can never imagine, if you could never imagine working 10 hour days, six days a week, that's okay. If that would never fulfill you. Just know that about yourself.
Speaker 2:I know some people who would never be fulfilled unless they're working 10-hour days, and that's okay too, and I think that we get so caught up myself included in this is that what's? Am I a bad person? Should I be different? I remember my whole life it was you work too hard, Take a day off. Why don't you take a day off Like all he does is work.
Speaker 2:Emilia's father said that, Like all you do is work. You know you guys should take the weekends, come to the lake. We're trying to explain and it's nothing against, Nata, you know, it's just. We're good, All set, Not trying to, you know, it's all good. I don't want to hang out at the lake for a whole weekend. I'm happy to, sometimes, maybe, but even that might be a little bit of a lie. I just I have a good time, it's great.
Speaker 2:But we call them boomerangs. We go for a day, we enjoy ourselves, we come home, we get back to it, and some people are builders, some people are achievers. Some people have to shoot for the biggest, the tallest mountain and prove to themselves they can do it. Some people really do want to relax and R&R, enjoy themselves and spend time with their family, and quality time and variety and experiences. That's all fine.
Speaker 2:And then most of us are somewhere in the middle. You know it's a bell curve and some of us are on the very extreme end. But you don't want to look at the anomaly on the extremes of the bell curve and design your life based on that, Because if you do, you're going to be in a lot of trouble, and I wish I knew this earlier, because had I known this when I was younger, I would have been able to help people much more effectively. And while I do believe everyone should aim a little higher, I do not believe anymore that everyone should shoot for the stars or shoot for the moon and land amongst the stars, and yeah, it sounds really good in a song and it sounds really good in a bumper sticker and it sounds really good in a motivational quote in a Hallmark card.
Speaker 1:All that sounds really good, but it's just a layer one. When you were talking, something jumped into my head. If you're dealing with a level of contrast of I am at this place and I don't believe I can get to the next place, that's a different conversation than I am at this place, but I aspire to get to the next place. When I say yesterday, I can empathize. I can understand why people would wanna tap out. I didn't wanna tap out because I didn't wanna do it. There was a piece of me that I didn't know I didn't know how to get there, I didn't know how to be the type of person that could handle it that there was that moment of I don't know if I'm the type of person that could handle this right now. I think that's why I'm breaking down, but I do aspire to be the type of person that can I think there's Okay, there's a great conversation right there.
Speaker 2:How do you know when it's something you should or shouldn't aspire to?
Speaker 1:I think the only way is time and reflection. I could not manage At the beginning of this.
Speaker 2:I couldn't manage doing a lot of the stuff we were doing, but that's the challenge because if you take five, six year ago Kev and put him in today's Kev, that would crush you. It would crumble you.
Speaker 1:But I wanted to get to this point.
Speaker 2:I know. How do you know?
Speaker 1:how will you know when you don't You'll know You'll start regretting it If you wake up every day and regret the way you spent your day. I think you'll. I'm I told you this and this is not a brag, especially if it doesn't resonate with you, because it's quite the opposite. But I'm on my third 14, 15 hour day this week it's Wednesday. I've already worked however many hours that is, 45 hours maybe and last night I finished you and I finished at what? Eight or something. I literally went, I had a turkey sandwich and I went to bed. But when I got to the end of the day I didn't regret it. I was like, yeah, I'm tired and I'm beat and I'm gassed, and today was just a heavy day. It was just heavy. It hurt me, but I'll get up tomorrow and I'll do it again. And then Thursday is okay. Thursday's slow. I only have three calls. But here's the interesting thing Six years ago, three calls was yesterday.
Speaker 2:That's what makes it so challenging. I know, I know.
Speaker 1:But if you aspire to it, I think that's a different conversation. I aspire to be able to handle that weight gracefully because I believe that's what it's going to take to get to where I want to get to, and that's what I still want, that I haven't changed what I want.
Speaker 2:And I know we got to jump soon because you have another call.
Speaker 2:But, quickly with this. Quickly, the we see. I was listening to something recently that talked about how we see someone else and we see their successes or whatever it might be, and then we have that moment of well, that would be really nice, but we don't actually understand what's underneath that iceberg in terms of the pros and cons of that. So, for example, emilia and I's relationship is, without a question, extremely enviable. It's something that I would have been unbelievably enviable of. I would have seen us and been like oh, I didn't. That must be fake, that can't be. They can't be that. In love, it is story book level. But being with someone who is a super achiever when I want to R&R, there's something underneath that that no one else sees. Like, for example, being with Kevin Okay, hypothetical, I don't want anyone to picture themselves with you because I don't want to disrespect Taryn in any way.
Speaker 1:But just hypothetical being with Kev Okay.
Speaker 2:Being with Kev. It might look like that would be great. Well, he's emotionally intelligent, he's articulate, he treats his wife with so much respect, appreciate that he's in shape, he takes care of himself, he's into personal development. That all seems great, but he also. Do you really want to be with someone who works 15 hours a day, three days a week? That's what I think. And, by the way, can you have one without the other? That's the weird thing. The only reason you're so emotionally intelligent and all these things is because you and I contemplate on these microphones for years and years and years, and so you can't want the upside without the downside, and I think we set goals based on only the upside. I agree. I agree.
Speaker 2:And that's another discussion. But that's a dangerous game Setting goals based on the upside when you're not aware of what the downside is. And by the time you're aware of the downside, you're like whoa.
Speaker 1:Well, we did an episode on that recently where I think you have to set up what do you want your day to look like Now? What are the results you want? What do you want your day to look like? Because at least that way you're already getting the results you want In a way. Now is it that simple? No, but yeah, I am of this mind now more than ever. I understand, I understand, I understand, I empathize more than ever. Now it's different.
Speaker 1:If you say, well, I am most aligned doing what I'm doing and I don't ever want to go on an alignment, but I also am not happy with anything I have. That's a different conversation, because that might mean it requires more sacrifice than you're doing. I'm not saying that you only do aligned things. There's a time and a place for that, there's a percentage, there's a juggling act, there's a harmony, as Alan would say. That's a deeper conversation. We'll do that in the future, I'm sure, but now more than ever, your goals are your goals, because you're the one who has to do them. I don't have to do your goals. I don't get to tell you what your goals should be. I don't have to do it. When we get off the call you go do your thing and I go do my thing. It's not fair for me to put my goals on you. So I got to go because I have a call in literally three minutes, tomorrow, for episode number 1628, we're going to do something new. I want to do a freestyle Friday where Alan and I just chat. We'll just show up and we'll do what we do and it'll be good.
Speaker 1:Hopefully It'll be a good episode, but it's not necessarily. This is the one thing we're going to talk about. I just want to see what comes, because I think one of our strengths as podcasters and maybe the relationship we have is our ability to have a conversation. Sometimes we do episodes that just monologue, monologue, maybe discussion. So we're going to try that. If you haven't got your tickets for Next Level Live, please do so. Whether it's virtual or in person, link will be in the show notes, as always. We love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you. At NLU, we turn to fans. We have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Stay true to you Next time on Nation.
