#1718 - The Truth About Leaving People Behind

Embarking on a personal growth journey can be both exhilarating and daunting, especially when it involves outgrowing past relationships. In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros delve into this poignant topic, providing insights into how our connections with others can change as we evolve.

Links mentioned:
Join us on Next Level Monthly Meet-up #30 on June 6th, 2024, at 05:00 PM Eastern Time: “How To Get MORE Of The RIGHT Stuff Done”
https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/
Alan’s Coaching - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/business-consulting/ 

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Show notes:
(2:25) Evolving relationships
(5:39) Thinking of people and yourself
(9:28) Unveiling truths
(14:13) Leaving people behind
(17:07) At NLU, we want you to win, so we’re providing tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/
(18:25) Aura around loyalty
(21:03)

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin 0:00

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode. Episode number 1717, one Big Reason Change Is so Hard. Today, for episode number 1718, the Truth About Leaving People Behind. The truth about leaving people behind. I did a post recently and it was something along the lines of to anyone whose growth didn't align with my growth, I miss you and I genuinely hope you're doing well, and that was I was. I don't know where I was. I think I was just like in my feels that night, not in a bad way. I think I was just in my feels that night, not in a bad way, but I was just thinking of people. You ever have those moments where you think of All the time.

Alan 0:51

Yeah, all the time.

Kevin 0:52

I was just thinking back to old friends and people I haven't talked to in years. I don't know. I think earlier in the journey I probably thought they were wrong for not wanting to come along. Do I think it would have been beneficial? Yes, I do. That's my truth. But now I understand. I don't know. Maybe it wasn't right, maybe this isn't their journey, maybe they don't want the same things I do. But that's really what I want to touch on in this episode the truth about leaving people behind. You can leave someone behind and still wish them well. You can leave someone behind and want them to be successful. You can leave someone behind and be sad about it. That's okay, that's all okay. It doesn't mean that you quote unquote leaving them behind wasn't what was best for you. I can't talk to save my life. I'm sorry. It's been a long ass day.

Kevin 1:51

That's part one, and part two is don't you have to take care of yourself first? I mean, isn't that your responsibility as a human being to make sure that you go after what you want, and aren't you going to regret it if you let people hold you back because you didn't have the courage to distance yourself or to to give your truth or whatever it is? I think that's one of the hardest things. And then this is part three.

Evolving relationships

Kevin 2:20

I was on a podcast recently and this was like the realist, most authentic version of me where we were talking about family and I said one of the saddest things for me is how many people are held back by their families and they think it's okay. I didn't get to decide my family. I was born and this is what I have. I didn't decide that, alan, you didn to decide my family. I was born and this is what I have. I didn't decide that, alan, you didn't decide your family. But if we had a real authentic conversation about that, I think a lot of people would villainize us for that. Part one. But part two I think it would be a heavy realization that, look, I know they're your parents and that they're your family, but some of the people closest to us are actually holding us back the most and hurting us the most, and we need to create distance between us and them the most. So that's kind of what I'm vibing on today A lot of stuff in there man, I love episodes like this because I think I don't know.

Kevin 3:25

I just think this is the real stuff. I think this is the real stuff. I think that we're afraid to leave people behind because, going back to what we talked about yesterday, what does it mean about us? Am I a terrible person because I've left people behind? Some people would say yes, for sure, and I can understand that. I can empathize with that. I can see that side of the coin. But wouldn't you rather me go do what I think is best for me? I mean, don't I shouldn't I do that. Isn't that my responsibility?

Kevin 3:59

yeah, you know, the you know the candid truth.

Alan 4:08

Well, I'll ask you a question. Would it have? And this has been something I've been contemplating a lot lately, because I do that often. I think about my high school friends, college friends, corporate friends all the time yeah, all the time. They're always. I'm reassessing my memories all the time, yeah, all the time, they're always. I'm reassessing my memories all the time. I watch old movies that I saw when I was a kid, on purpose, to try to figure out what I was influenced by back then and all that. My question for you is is it possible for you to have gotten to where you are in your life, having achieved many not all, but many of your goals and dreams, while having all of those people in your life?

Thinking of people and yourself

Kevin 4:53

I don't think so, because it would have required either more effort, different effort If I don't know, more effort, different effort If I don't know. I mean, at what point do you realize the amount of effort you're putting in to keep someone in your life is just not. It means they're not aligned Right. If you have to change everything about yourself and you have to make yourself small and you have to not talk about your goals and dreams and you have to be less of who you are, I mean, is that really a friendship in the first place? It's not real, it's not authentic, it's not based in truth. It's based in who you used to be and you're different now. You're not the same person you were. If you're focused on growth, you're not the same person you were yesterday, never mind five years ago. And I think that's one of the hardest things, because if you leave someone behind, you feel bad about it because it was kind of your choice, it was kind of your decision, and that's a heavy weight. I think it's a heavy responsibility, because you're the one who gets more of the negative outcome. If you don't do it, nothing's going to necessarily change. If you're the one who's growing and somebody else isn't and that's not their journey and they don't want to. Again, I'm not making that wrong. That's not my goal in this.

Kevin 6:31

When you leave, their life doesn't necessarily get worse maybe. Maybe it does because they miss you and maybe they realize how much of an influence you are. That's a possibility. But some people it might actually get better because you're you're not a pain in the ass anymore of hey man, hey man, you really.

Kevin 6:45

You know I don't really want to go out tonight. I know we usually go out on Fridays, but now, saturday, I'm doing this running thing, I'm part of this running club, and the last thing I want to do is be hungover. That's a pain in the ass if you want to go out and party. So, as the person who has the different goals that require you to elevate differently, that's a heavy responsibility, but you're also the one who's going to probably have to deal with the guilt too. I don't know. I assume the people that I used to spend time with I don't even want to say I assume I wonder if they think about me in the same light. I think about them, I miss I. I have so much love and I miss them. I don't know if they feel the same, but I understand why they wouldn't.

Alan 7:28

Yeah, they might be hurt yeah that's their side.

Kevin 7:31

My side was I left, I had the opportunity to stay, or leave and. I left. Yeah, I had the choice and I left. If you didn't feel like you had a choice, I can understand why you're not super excited with me.

Alan 7:46

Well, this is the existential question of all things, this is it right here? I mean, in my opinion, the hardest part of this journey hands down has been relationships, the idea that and this is the analogy Kevin and I did this at Next Level Live. Imagine Kevin and I are in a car. We're driving from Boston to LA. I did that in my early 20s with a friend of mine. His name is Ryan. But imagine Kevin and I drive across the country. We're in Massachusetts, he's in New Hampshire, we meet and we drive across the country in the Beamer. Let's imagine we both want to go to LA. That's a core aspiration, we have the same goal. But let's imagine I love heavy metal and he let's just say hypothetically he doesn't, and he loves country music. Now, we can't listen to the same music. So that's a core value in conflict. Now let's imagine he wants to go the northern route and see the Rocky Mountains and I want to go the southern route and I really like hot weather and let's say he hates hot weather. Okay, that's a belief in conflict. He believes we should go north. I believe we should go south. There's three sort of routes across the US.

Unveiling truths

Alan 9:09

The thing that's so hard in life is that people don't realize that relationships are built on things that are different than the relationship I just got off with Amy Lennius. Amy Lennius is on our team at NLU. My relationship with Amy was built on growth and contribution. It was built on so we just did group coaching and then and she was the chat master during group coaching so she was doing the chat Kevin and I were presenting showed out to group 14, inspired Impact. It was session four. Her and I have connected and we've laughed and we are. We have a great relationship, but that relationship was built on NLU and growth. If NLU and growth goes away, our relationship goes away too. People don't want to own that.

Kevin 9:54

Same for you and I.

Alan 9:56

Brother 100%.

Kevin 9:58

I had someone, that someone was not happy with you one time and we were talking about something and they were like, well, well, do you think you and alan would hang out as much as you did if you weren't business partners? And I said, of course not. No, I know you're like trying to surprise me with this. I know that. What do you think? I'm an idiot I know that of course we're really.

Kevin 10:19

We're really good friends, we're best friends, we're brothers, whatever. But it's not because we decided like, hey, I need a new friend. That wasn't it. It was. You're a good, you'd be a good business partner for me. Hopefully I can add some value to this and stick around long enough to see the benefits of it. And here we are, however, many years later, but I am under no delusion that if I packed it up, I'd still get to text you every day. I'm under zero delusion of that, but I think I'm just weird with that.

Alan 10:49

It is, it's a candor that most people aren't ready for. Well, it's because it's with me. It's not like we wouldn't still have love for each other. It's not like we wouldn't still catch up every now and then All that's possible but we're not going to be business partners anymore, I don.

Alan 11:09

I don't know. This is the saddest part of my life. There are people that I adore, even past NLU team members, who I've gotten unbelievably close to, and when NLU stopped being the focus, the relationship dwindled, and I think about these people, past team members, all the time. I miss Jesse, I miss all of the past team members to some extent, and that's the truth. But at the end of the day and this is the thing that all of us just really need to wake up to, and some of us don't wake up to this until after a life or death situation this is when I woke up to this, after my car accident you only have so much time and effort in life. You can't be a tennis master and a jujitsu master and a professional baseball player and a business coach and a professional gamer and have 800 friends and have you. That is impossible. There is no way. Actors hang out with actresses and actresses hang out with actors, and coaches hang out with coaches and podcasters hang out with podcasters. Think about it If you're out there watching or listening to this show. Self-improvement is a part of your life, but it's not your entire life. For me, it's my entire life. I can go to a football game and enjoy a football game. Football is not my entire world, but the players on that field who do that for a living, that's their whole world, and all their friends probably the same Not all of them, but most of them.

Alan 12:48

One of the reasons that this is so hard is a lot of my strongest relationships early in life were built on geography. They were not built on mutual core values, mutual core aspirations, mutual core beliefs. Me and one of my best friends growing up used to argue who was smarter Bill Gates or Steve Jobs and Microsoft versus Apple. And we built computers together and we played video games together and we dreamed together. We dreamed of going to the same college together. He didn't get in. We went our separate ways and the truth is I would not be here if we didn't. That doesn't mean I'll never see him again. I intend on it, but it's not going to be like you and I.

Kevin 13:28

We work together, yeah, I can't Like you and I, we work together. Yeah, I can't.

Alan 13:31

If I spend my life podcasting, speaking, training, writing, leading the team NLU, let's say it takes up 60%, 70% of my time and effort. What are the chances you and I have a stronger relationship than my friend from back in the day that we don't have anything in common? There's not much in common anymore. We used to be next door neighbors. We used to have a lot in common. And so to your original point.

Leaving people behind

Alan 13:59

At top, you mentioned a post of to all those who grew in a different direction or at a different rate or in a different way. I still love you and I hope for you the best. I think that that's a very mature, honest conversation, and the truth of the matter is I used to delude myself into thinking I can achieve all my goals and dreams while staying friends with all the people I grew up with. And now, in hindsight, the truth is that's just impossible, and I'm not one to talk about impossible. I'm Mr Possible. That is impossible. I'm mr Possible. That is impossible. I'm telling you right now there's no one on planet earth who achieves their goals and dreams and stays friends, close friends, with all of their hometown friends.

Kevin 14:44

That's not a, thing, yeah now, some more than others.

Alan 14:48

There's some people who have some of their hometown friends, but no one achieves all their goals and dreams and they're all their aspirations and lives in their calling and their purpose and never loses a single friend. That's not a thing. Family, too. There are certain family members that I just don't spend any time with anymore and we just don't have anything in common. I don't wish them anything negative and I hope they don't wish me anything negative, although I'm not so sure. But at the end of the day you have to grow up, and this has been the hardest thing for me as I've matured and as I've gotten older. Coming up on 36, there's no version of my life being in alignment with my purpose, my passion, my calling, my profit, my mission, without losing people, because back when I tried to be everything for everyone, I was deeply unfulfilled and I'm not willing to go back there.

Kevin 15:39

Well, I think that there's a there's this aura around loyalty, Like, oh, he was, he was so loyal and he never, he never forgot where he came from, or or she never left those people behind, or whatever it is, and I think there's a place for that. I think that's aspirational and I think that's very, very positive. But I look at that a lot differently than I used to. I used to hear songs about, like there's a song by a guy named Marco Penn called Same Ones, and it's about being around the same people forever, Like these are my day ones, these are the people that we were scheming with. Right Matt is a day one.

At NLU, we want you to win, so we're providing tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM.

Kevin 16:22

I've been scheming with dreams, scheming about dreams with Matt. I moved in with him so we could chase dreams together and we could save money and I helped him renovate his house, like day one. But for every Matt there's 10 people who said like, yeah, I believe in you, and then just disappeared. Or yeah, I believe in you, but then didn't understand why I couldn't be somewhere on a Saturday, or why I couldn't go to dinner, or why I couldn't be at the birthday party, whatever it is. I think that loyalty goes both ways. Yeah, I can be loyal to you for sure, but you got to be loyal to me too. You got to be loyal to my dreams, just like I'm loyal to yours, Because if not, it's one-sided, and then I'm going to lose myself or you're going to lose yourself, and that's why I think it's the. I genuinely want, I love you and I miss you and I genuinely want what's best for you, and I realized that what's best for me is not what's best for you, and that's why that's why I did that post, Cause I had that moment of yeah, you know what? I probably thought my way was the right way for a while. I probably did. I probably thought my way was the right way for the for a while. I don't think it is. I think it's the right way for me, but if somebody doesn't want what I want, they're going to be miserable. You're going to be miserable for your entire life and you're not going to get the fulfillment. You're not going to get the joy.

Aura around loyalty

Kevin 17:43

So it's been, yeah, that's been an interesting growth journey for me, Because I'll see someone that I haven't talked to in a long time and it's like I wonder what they're up to. I wonder what they're up to and I really do hope they're happy. I think I'm just afraid they're not. I think I'm just afraid they're not because I don't think most people are. You know, and that's heavy, I know, but when you we get for a living, we get to talk to a bunch of different people and it's like I don't know if I I don't often talk to somebody who's as fulfilled as I am Right, and that's not because I'm more successful. I've talked to a lot of people who have way more success externally than I do.

Kevin 18:30

It's not that it's just yeah, it's been interesting. It's not that it's just yeah, it's been interesting. It's been a very, it's been a very interesting reflection to look back and just wonder and like I said earlier before I let you go, I don't. I said this. I think I said this on another podcast today. I don't think I said it on this. I don't know if they are, I don't know if they think about me or what they think about me. I have no idea. I think I don't assume they do, but I just wonder. I wonder if they think about me as often as I think about them. I genuinely do. I wonder.

Alan 19:11

I don't think I've ever shared this on the podcast before, but there was this night where I was out and there was this I was single and there was this girl who I was super into and she was apparently super into me and she wanted to hang out later that night and I wanted to drink and I wanted to drink and so my buddies were there and kids I grew up with One of my best friend's older brothers was there and we went out in Boston I mean, this was to the nines. We went out limousine type of thing. I think it was the 21st birthday or something for one of my old neighbors and one of their cousins is this woman that I wanted to ask on a date, potentially date and I remember late at night she wanted me to come be with her and spend time with her at the end of the evening and I didn't. I stayed with my buddies and drank more and, dude, I regretted that so much. She got in a relationship not long after that and they looked so happy on social media and this woman was gorgeous and awesome in a relationship not long after that and they looked so happy on social media and this, this woman was gorgeous and awesome, and I remember feeling like I was the one left behind. I remember feeling like I really screwed that up. I had every opportunity. She gave me every sign and I went to drink with my buddies instead of potentially seeing what could have been. Now, obviously, I'm unbelievably happy, so I don't actually regret this at all because I found emilia the love of my life, greatest gift of my life.

Prioritizing what truly counts

Alan 20:45

But I remember back then before, when I didn't know emilia existed, and I was like alan, you really screwed that up, man. That was my self-talk. I remember thinking I saw her go on and get in this relationship with this jacked dude and I remember thinking like, wow, I really missed out, I really took an L on that. That was I can't believe I chose drinking over a potential great relationship. Dude. I changed after that. That was part of my transformation. I've been on the other end of being left behind Very rarely, but I have, and it sucks. The only way to not be on the other end of being left behind is go, grow towards your goals and dreams. I remember there were times in my life where I would look at other people no-transcript, you are getting after it, this girl. And I remember thinking what am I doing with my life? What am I? Why aren't I getting after it? I need to get my shit together, dude. That's real stuff.

Alan 21:56

And honestly the people who I have, quote unquote, maybe left behind. I would never use that phrasing, but I can promise you some of them feel that way to some extent. I don't know what to do, other than I hope it drives them to be better. And meetups are free, book club is free, NLU is free, they can listen to this show Some of them do, and you know, if our paths merge, great. If they don't, that's the cookie. Cookie crumbles sometimes. And that that feeling, though, of missing an opportunity to go drink alcohol with my past instead of build a bigger, better, brighter future. I'll tell you what, man. I don't make those mistakes like I used to, yeah, and I hope everyone listening or watching takes something from that.

Kevin 22:45

Well, that's the real stuff and I'll just put this out there because I also understand that. Again, we're in our mid-30s, 35, 34. I know that as we get older, our friendships tend to dwindle. I don't know if there's like a study on this where it gets the graphic gets pretty, or the graph gets pretty, pretty sad as you age. I'm not worried about that. So, again, I'm weird when it comes to stuff like this. I got everything I need. I'm good. I'm not worried about that. I'm not worried about friends. I have amazing friends. I have amazing people in my life. I love my wife more than anything on the planet. Business partner team. Good, I'm all good.

Kevin 23:26

So I understand I might seem very nonchalant in this and my advice might not or my perspective might not land, but all I'm saying is you deserve to put you first. That's it. You deserve to put you first because nobody else is going to do it for you unless you have such good friends that are that way. I I'm sure they exist, for sure, I think I. I have that in you, I have that in matt, I have that in tyron. Right, it's 8 30.

Kevin 23:55

We're recording podcast episodes. It's like this is just what we do. This is par for the course, unless you have people that are so selfless that they allow you. They put you first for you that you got to do it because nobody else is going to do it for you. Nobody else is going to do it for you. But if you have those type of people, those are the type of people to hang on to, those are the type of people to stay loyal to and obviously it's clear that they're loyal to you. If you have those type of friendships, you are winning for sure, and I think those are the types of friendships and relationships in general to aspire to. So I'm not saying abandon everybody. I think I'm good at abandoning ship because I never thought I was going to be successful. So the second I start taking on water I got to. I got to get rid of stuff that's not helping me stay afloat and got something.

Alan 24:44

I think it was the opposite for you?

Aim for these types

Kevin 24:45

No, you're good. It was the opposite for you is you knew you were going to win the whole time and you knew the ship was never going to sink and you tried to keep as many people as possible on the ship.

Alan 24:54

I think that's why we worked so well together Agreed. Let me try to sign into this because I have something I want to read quick. I know we get a jump.

Kevin 25:01

It won't be quick. First of all, and let me start, shall I compare thee to a summer's eve. Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

Alan 25:12

And that's all I have. Nice, keep going. What's?

Kevin 25:15

the next verse in the poem.

Alan 25:18

That's making me verify there was a.

Kevin 25:20

Burger King on the corner, I got myself some chicken fries. Continue, that's excellent.

Alan 25:28

That's great news.

Kevin 25:30

That's all I have. Okay, I'm almost done here. What are you signing into? Canva, canva, okay.

Alan 25:37

Oh yeah, canva, this was in a group coaching session and it was last week, two weeks ago, two weeks ago, got it Nice, hammer it Okay. Session, and it was last week, two weeks ago, two weeks. Got it nice, hammer it okay so we opened with you, attract who you are. And then there's a picture of kevin and I back in the day when we uh partied uh, yes, party hardy, I know this.

Alan 25:58

You know which photo I'm talking about yeah, and if you're at next level, if you came to next level, live. You know what photo we're talking about. And there's a quote from Harvard University that says oh, hold on, david McCone's research contends that up to 99% of an individual's life success is determined by the people they associate with. Oh, there goes Kevin's chair, my freaking chair. 99% of Kevin kevin's chair 99 is a wild number.

Kevin 26:30

If you said I'll give you a large sum of money if you can guess the percentage, I never would have guessed 99. I probably would have guessed like 75 yeah, I.

Alan 26:40

I don't know how much I trust the 99, but I know it's. It's, I would say 70 and up for sure. I've heard research that shows 94, 90. I think one was 60%. I've heard different ones. I don't know if 99 is true, but I'll tell you what. I coach a lot of people and that's what we work on. Five-pointed star is what I call it. You put you at the center and then who are the five people around it? So Emilia, kevin, put Amy in there, christina, who would be next, my therapist, carol, probably, and again, there's a bunch of others that are great too. So it's not just the five. Yeah, yeah, but you do, you become who you're around. You lay down with dogs, you come up with fleas. That's a Ben Franklin quote, I mean there's a million other, benny Frank.

Alan 27:33

Oh yeah, man.

Kevin 27:34

Shut up Birds of a feather flock together. Who is that? I have no idea. No credit.

You attract who you are

Alan 27:45

The no credit, the person gets no credit. Great quote. Nobody knows who said it, nobody knows what a way to go, but if you have goals and dreams that you want to chase, that you want to aspire to, no matter what happens when you grow and evolve, your relationships will have to shift and that, I think, has been the most painful part of the journey. But just understand, there's nothing wrong with you, this is par for the course. And I'm telling you I've got 23 people 24, actually people on my roster. Youngest is 18, oldest is 63, all walks of life, all different countries, and there's not a single one of them who hasn't struggled to grow in a different direction or at a different rate than family and friends.

Kevin 28:21

Yeah, yeah, you see it everywhere. You see it everywhere. Step one is admitting it and I think from there you figure out how you want to approach it. Everybody's different. You're going to value family and friendships and quality time and all that stuff different. But just yeah, don't be afraid to put yourself first. If you don't do it, nobody else is going to do it for you, and if they do do it for you, they're amazing humans and you got very lucky, but we still got to figure that out for ourselves. I would say what do you think? A very real episode on a what's today, thursday? Good stuff, I dig it. I dig it very much. What do we have? When's the meetup?

Alan 29:04

What's next, mr the meetup? What's what's next, mr host? That's what I was gonna say yeah, it's june 6th.

Kevin 29:08

I told you I was gonna give it everything I had. That's it, um, that's it that was it.

Alan 29:12

Yeah, all good brother, I understand. You've been up since six.

Kevin 29:15

I slept in we're 14 hours, 14 and a half hours in. I like it, though there is a part of me that I do like the sicko, like my. My head is throbbing and I'm starving, but it's like.

Alan 29:24

You got it done coming off a trip to dare you count me out?

Alan 29:29

June 6th yes, 2024.

Alan 29:32

So that's this year. That's June 6th, at 5 PM, eastern standard time. How to get more of the right stuff done. Time, effort and money are finite. How do you focus on the right stuff and get more of the right stuff done?

Alan 29:47

Also, I wanted to mention this because I haven't in a long time and I was on a podcast earlier and the guy, one of the co-hosts there's two of them he said I'm going to coach with you. How do I coach with you? And I was like whoa, okay, yeah, let's jump on a half hour. Let's do a free session, we'll see if it's a fit. And I said it's pay as you play. And the reason why I don't do that long-term commitment thing is I don't want you there unless you want to be there. If you're not feeling the value, you cancel. If we miss a call, you don't get charged. You only get charged for the calls that happen.

Alan 30:16

So if you've ever my promise I will help you become more successful and more fulfilled, I promise I will. And if not, just cancel, you know, no harm, no foul. So give it a shot. Free half hour. Link will be in the show notes. Let's do a free session. I'll show you what it's all about. I'll show you my program. I'll show you PPT, I'll show you the metrics and habits and tools and tasks and systems and choices and skills and values and resources and awareness and beliefs and environments and influences and standards and potential. And it's overwhelming. But we start small and we build and you will, yes, be more successful and more fulfilled and you might outgrow friends and family. You probably will.

Kevin 30:57

Well, if I can grow to this level with Alan in my corner, imagine what you can do. Nice, that was a sad case. That was a very sad case in the beginning. And here we are, seven years later, and just a little bit less sad than we were at the beginning so imagine what you can do with alan in your corner.

Kevin 31:12

No, seriously, again, talk about community. I've talked to you more than any other human over the last seven years. Every when I was away in scotland we didn't talk for like nine days. Maybe that was the longest. I think we've gone without talking since we started this thing.

Alan 31:27

You and I got in shape together and got out of shape together. Business is a real son of a gun. We're ready.

Kevin 31:33

10 pounds in 10 weeks. If you want to do it with us. I don't know what we're going to do, but if you want to do it with us, let us know. We can get a little something going them. Go in 10 pounds in 10 weeks. You know we won't miss, because if we miss we don't get to record a podcast episode. That's our thing. We will not miss. It's already done. It's just a matter of how much suffrage will it take to get there.

Alan 31:50

It's august 10th is the deadline, august 10th so if you want to join us? 10 pounds in 10 weeks. You can do less if you want do five pounds, you can do five pounds.

Alan 31:58

You could do one pound, whatever, uh, but we're doing 10 pounds in 10 weeks, august 10th, is the weigh-in, and if we don't weigh in 10 pounds later, for me that's 185. For him that's 170. Then we will not. The other person who didn't weigh in will not be able to record an episode which will be our first miss since partnering up, which will. I will not allow.

Kevin 32:17

Yeah, well, it's not, it can't happen. I'm very hungry right now. Same, same, yeah, it can't, it can't, it won't happen. That's, it's done already. All right, I don't know what we're doing for tomorrow's episode because, again, we are. We're just trying, transparently, we're trying to get back from the trip and there's a lot going on, and group coaching was tonight and it was. It was good. Today was a really good, overwhelming, fulfilling day, but I have not figured out what we're going to do for the next episode. And here's the other. This is the other piece of truth too. I would rather I would rather just say I don't know what we're going to do than just throw something in there and then just not want to do it and it not be valuable. We 100%.

Alan 32:54

We jump on the microphone and say what do you feel called to? Yeah, and sometimes when you plan too far in advance, the creative process sucks and you don't want to talk about that in the moment. It's not a bad topic. I just don't feel that right now. So I'm, I'm, I've been enjoying this and I do think we should probably pick the next one, but we will end of the day?

Kevin 33:14

yeah, we will. We're ebbs and flows. Ebbs and flows. I don't know what is the good and the bad, and the ebb and the flow. I'll do some research, research. I'll get back to you, I'll write a thesis on it. 26 pages, double spaced, 10 font, obviously 10. Not 9, not 11. 10. 26 pages, all right, as always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU, we don't