Next Level University
Confidence, mindset, relationships, limiting beliefs, family, goals, consistency, self-worth, and success are at the core of hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros' heart-driven, no-nonsense approach to holistic self-improvement. This transformative, 7 day per week podcast is focused on helping dream chasers who have been struggling to achieve their goals and are seeking community, consistency and answers. If you've ever asked yourself "How do I get to the next level in my life", we're here for you!
Our goal at NLU is to help you uncover the habits to build unshakable confidence, cultivate a powerful mindset, nurture meaningful relationships, overcome limiting beliefs, create an amazing family life, set and achieve transformative goals, embrace consistency, recognize your self-worth, and ultimately create the fulfillment and success you desire. Let's level up your health, wealth and love!
Next Level University
#1800 - The #1 Lesson From 1800 Episodes
What’s the biggest lesson you can learn from 1,800 episodes? In this milestone episode, Kevin and Alan share how their experiences and struggles have taught them about self-belief, turning adversity into strength, and understanding your core fears. They discuss why advice isn’t one-size-fits-all and how to find what works for you. Whether you’re just starting or have been with them from the beginning, this episode offers valuable insights that can help you on your journey.
Links mentioned:
Subscribe & follow NLU: https://www.buzzsprout.com/742955/share
Alan’s Coaching: Alan@nextleveluniverse.com
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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.
For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇
Website 💻 http://www.nextleveluniverse.com
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Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-book-club/
Next Level Monthly Meet-up: https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/
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Email 💬
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Alan@nextleveluniverse.com
LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/
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Show notes:
(3:55) The lesson on turning adversity into an advantage
(6:01) Discussion on business failure rates and the importance of long-term consistency
(8:02) Exploring the core wounds of failure and unlovability
(10:28) At NLU, we want you to win! So, we're giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM. https://bit.ly/3yL3Jfq
(11:43) The conflict and growth that arise from different core wounds
(14:33) Why personalized advice matters and how self-belief shapes your journey
(17:38) Outro
Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,800, 1,800, another milestone has been crossed. Thank you to each and every one of you for being along for the ride, whether you've been here forever or you're just joining the number one lesson from 1,800 episodes. So, alan I don't want to say convinced me. Alan pushed me to do this because he said hey, man, 1800 episodes, a lot of episodes. I know it's not 2000 episodes, we're not there yet, because that's what I said. I said I'll celebrate when we get to 2000, we get to 2000. That's another milestone for me. But alan pushed me to to do a celebration of 1800 episodes, and I do think it's important to do it because you're obviously pumped about no I just I.
Speaker 1:It was kind of a surprise to me because I wasn't anticipating doing it, but it's always fun to reflect and we don't have a ton of time because we're we're doing 14 episodes this week, because I'm going to be away next week. But PodFest, PodFest Anybody who's podcasting or a podcaster who wants to podcast, and you're going to PodFest in Washington DC. Let's meet up. What's your number one lesson from 1,800 episodes? I don't know mine off the top of my head yet and I want to make it original and Original and valuable, not just yeah, I think terrible.
Speaker 2:We're going to do this in real time. Hopefully it doesn't take too much time. Since we don't have that much time, I think we both need to think about it.
Speaker 1:You think we both need to think about it?
Speaker 2:There's been so much.
Speaker 1:Let's make this a positive episode. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Let's try to keep the negative to a minimal, because I feel like Again. We're outside our comfort zone with that, I definitely.
Speaker 1:Because they're negative doesn't mean. The only reason they're negative is because it's usually going against toxic positivity. That's all. That's all I'm trying. We're always trying to drive to five, always, always, always. So if you reach out and say always, always so, if you reach out and say, hey, I don't believe in myself at all, can you guys do an episode on building self-belief, you better believe that's going to be the most positive episode ever of all time because, we're trying to drive to five, based on what we're talking about and we're positive that's going to help.
Speaker 1:So what's your number one lesson? You have three seconds and go this this okay. Number one no, no no, no.
Speaker 2:Number one lesson is this is actually you're trying to make it positive. You know it's not going to be should I start?
Speaker 1:yeah, definitely my mind is fairly depressing a little bit again, I'm I don't know if I said this on our show or somebody else's show because we're trying something new with the way we do episodes and I'm kind of confused at where I am at all times and what I've said this week.
Speaker 2:This is going very well.
Speaker 1:Yes, this is going to be the most valuable episode ever and I would say what a story, what a traumatic, what a transformational, what everybody we interviewed had their own story of overcoming adversity that at the time, I couldn't even imagine overcoming.
Speaker 1:And that became the lesson for me, if we're talking about interviews, and what I learned from guests is your adversity can be your advantage. I'm not guaranteeing it will be. I'm not even sure I know how to tell you to make it your advantage. I don't know honestly. I'm not guaranteeing it will be. I'm not even sure I know how to tell you to make it your advantage. I don't know. Honestly, I'm not sure yet. I don't have that figured out. But maybe self-belief, maybe, if you have high self-belief and high adversity, maybe it's something you can work on. I'm not sure yet, but that was a really big lesson for me is what you're going through right now might eventually end up being the purpose that you're here for, or it might end up being the reason you do what you do, or it might end up being your message, your mission, your gift to the world. It just doesn't seem like it in the moment and obviously, if you're going through it right now, you can say to me easier said than done.
Speaker 1:Kev and I definitely understand, but that's probably the number one lesson I've learned.
Speaker 2:I found mine. I found a less depressing one. This is actually one that I do believe is more important than the depressing one I was going to share. That's good and just for reference. The depressing one I was going to share quickly was reference. The depressing one I was going to share quickly was unfortunately, the majority of people, statistically, are not going to be able to sustain any business long enough to actually be successful, and if you look up the stats I mean how many businesses fail I could easily just Google it. I do think it's important what percentage of businesses fail.
Speaker 1:I'm going to flip it? What percentage of businesses succeed?
Speaker 2:Oh, look at you, it's going to be a low number. First year 20.8% fail First. 10 years 65.8%. Okay, so the stats have gotten better. Okay, so 20.8% fail in the first year, the first two years. An additional 20% fail First. Three years 40%. Five years 45%, 10 years, 65.8%, 15, 73.8, 73.3%, and then, in a 20-year period, it's 80% are gone, 15 years or more. Only 25% make it, and again, I don't.
Speaker 2:Failure rates can vary from year to year based on economic conditions and outlier events. Example, in 2024, the failure rate for accommodation and food services was so and so, while failure rates for mining, coring, yeah, so it it essentially depends. Put it this way, the the large majority of anyone who starts anything will not make it the long, the long haul, and what I will say is that this podcast is built on how to help you sustain things, and the positive of that is that if you actually can be consistent long term, you almost guarantee that you will eventually succeed, even if it's not at the level you hoped. Yeah, right, okay, yeah. What's the positive one? Huh, the positive lesson. And again, maybe it depends how you interpret this as positive, but I think it'll be really helpful for everybody. I've come to realize through you and I. You and I have a very, very, very unique perspective because of each other. I think we have two different core wounds. We have two different core fears that are both complementary as long as we can get along. So the two main buckets that I've talked about and again, this is high level for any of the clinicians or psychologists. I understand that this is not the whole picture. This is just an oversimplification to make it practical for podcast listeners. Please, no one villainize me.
Speaker 2:On the one end you have what's known as a defective in internal family systems, which is someone who doesn't believe in themselves, who struggles with self-doubt, and their core wound is being seen as a failure. Their deepest fear, their deepest fear, is being seen as a failure. Or their deepest fear, their deepest fear, is being seen as a failure. They don't want to be seen as a failure. They'll do anything not to be seen as a failure. Unfortunately, because of that, they kind of can't take risks on the success front when it comes to do the speech, do the podcast, put yourself out there, tell your friends and family you're going to do something. Take out that loan to start that business. If you're afraid to be seen as a failure. You're kind of trapped by that in a way. Maybe you're afraid to get a divorce because you're afraid of what your family might think.
Speaker 2:The quote-unquote perfect couple that you are portraying that isn't actually perfect. You don't want that phoenix to burn down to rise anew and unfortunately you'll stay unfulfilled rather than be seen as quote-unquote a failure. That's the defective side and I understand now and I have empathy for that way more than I ever have, and I totally get it. The other bucket is unlovable. And the other bucket is unlovable. And the other bucket, the deepest fear is abandonment or being villainized. The superpower of the defective, I think, is relatability. I think you fit in easily. I think you get along with people most likely and you tend to be in the statistical norm, in norm in most rooms, like you feel, like you fit in and you resonate more with kev than I do, uh, than than with me for sure. That's one thing that's been very clear. You want to talk about learning something from 1800 episodes.
Speaker 2:Almost everyone and I've seen no exception to this by the everyone who resonates more with you than with me is on that other core wound. It has your core wound. Makes sense, makes perfect sense, the unlovable bucket is you're afraid to be villainized. You're afraid to be attacked. You're afraid your character will be attacked. You're afraid that you're not a good person. You're afraid your character will be attacked. You're afraid that you're not a good person. You're afraid your core wound is unlovable and all you've ever wanted is unconditional love. It's almost like success is great and you feel like, but that's not really what's underneath it. And so, again, the oversimplification quote that Kev came up with is you're afraid that all of you is not enough, or you're afraid that all of you is too much. And if you feel like you've been treated unjustly and you never understood why that kind of thing, um, you get triggered by very different things than than the majority of people. And, uh, my lesson from 1800 episodes is there's a cure. I'm going to use a medical analogy here the.
Speaker 2:I've been saying this for years the medicine that will cure one patient will actually kill another. Okay, in the beginning of this journey, I'm going to use kevin and I and I as an example, just to lead by example. Kevin need to needed to say yes more. You needed to say yes to opportunities. You needed to put yourself out there. You needed to say yes to the speech. You need to say yes to the podcast. You need to say yes to the interview. You need to say yes to the guest.
Speaker 2:The last thing I needed to do was go say yes more. I needed to say no and protect my time more. I already was doing so much, and so I was willing to be seen as a failure, and that was my biggest weakness, because I was constantly seen as a failure, even though in the long term, I was winning. Quote-unquote. It doesn't matter, no one cares. Not no one, but a majority of the population that identify as defective don't care. So you needed to say yes more. I needed to say no more and we had conflict. So then you came to my end.
Speaker 2:So it was say yes, say yes, say yes, fail, fail, fail. You had panic attack, struggle bus. I'm happy as a clam. But we're going broke essentially because we're being seen as a failure and we don't understand why we're winning, why we're not winning. Almost all of the advice that anyone's ever gotten and this is the lesson is wrong, unless you have the same core wound as the person giving the advice. Because kevin and I would watch the same speech from the same speaker about the same topic and kev would be like no chance that dude who waits outside for four hours for the teacher to get that one opportunity. He, kev, would say like there, no one would do that and I'm like I would do that, that person has very, very high self-belief yeah, and so that's the number one lesson for 1800 episodes.
Speaker 2:If you don't actually have high self-belief, intellectually you might think you do. That's not what I'm talking about. Thinking you have high self-belief is very different than actually having subconscious and unconscious self-belief. That's why I love the inside out movies, because intellectually you might think you believe in yourself it.
Speaker 2:That doesn't matter what matters is your unconscious and subconscious belief. The the record playing, and so, kev, once he admitted he didn't believe in himself, you actually started to actually build real self-belief, and I actually had to admit that I do believe in myself a ton. I very rarely struggle with self-doubt and I actually am a social coward, and that's actually the issue. So it's almost like all of us are getting advice, but we're probably getting advice from the wrong people, because the people who make it to the top one percent of any industry typically are not people who struggle with self-belief not always, but typically often often, and that's why I never I gave bad advice in the past and I didn't know it because I wasn't.
Speaker 2:I didn't have the same core wound as you.
Speaker 1:Well, I think both of us have given bad advice. You can only give advice to the awareness you have. You can't give advice beyond the awareness you have. And it's really hard to give advice beyond the experience you have, because then it's just theory, it's just I don't know. I'd imagine it goes this way, but that's why, in the very beginning, I struggled to find people to listen to, because I knew they didn't understand me. Anybody who's ever said Can you give an example of that, kev? Just believe in yourself more.
Speaker 2:Thanks. Who was an example of someone who was a podcaster that you couldn't listen to? I?
Speaker 1:don't know, because they didn't understand you. I didn't really listen to podcasts.
Speaker 2:Okay. Well, what's a speaker that I resonated with that you didn't Tom Bilyeu. Okay, can we go into that quickly?
Speaker 1:No, I literally have three minutes before my call. We have to go, we have to go. Oh damn Okay.
Speaker 2:I told Alan.
Speaker 1:I said we're only going to have 20 minutes for this episode, so it's going to be a tight one In one sentence.
Speaker 2:what was the difference between you and me in that?
Speaker 1:He was speaking, not even that example. But Okay, if we're using that example, tom thought he was speaking to most people, when in reality he was speaking to, I would say, the smaller segment of humans. Yeah, but not everybody knows what advice is good for them. Yet.
Speaker 2:It's inspirational.
Speaker 1:It's inspirational to hear stories and for somebody to say all you have to do is believe for them. Yet it's inspirational. It's inspirational to hear stories and for somebody to say all you have to do is believe in yourself more. That's inspirational for a moment, but that is not transformational. There's a difference between inspiration and transformation. That's fair, and I just I could tell that they just didn't. That's not my experience.
Speaker 2:I know I don't believe in myself. Could people tell that I don't get them, yes, experience? I know I don't believe in myself.
Speaker 1:Could people tell that I don't get them? Yes, in the beginning, yes, yeah, 100%, 100%. I could tell you didn't get me and now I just now.
Speaker 2:I know that I don't get you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and.
Speaker 2:I admit that and ironically, I actually do get you now more. More.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, deep one. We're gonna have to do a part two. I knew this was gonna happen. I predicted it, because these episodes are. It's hard because you never know where you're going to go. It's different. It's a different flow than a normal. Okay, we have a story. We're going to dive into it, but I want to thank everybody so very much for joining us. For however many episodes you've been a part of NLU whether it's 1800, which, if so, shout out to you, I can't imagine there's a human who's listened to every single episode, because some of the ones in the beginning were just terrible. So, no worries and no offense taken if you haven't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, please don't, yeah, don't, for some reason. The first five disappeared.
Speaker 1:I don't know where they went and I don't know how to get them. I think they're. How dare you SoundCloud? Yeah, I think they're potentially gone forever, but yeah, it's wild every single day. We get to do this for a living. We have a business. We have an amazing team. It's weird how this is all happened.
Speaker 2:I have the video of the first one we did together. I have the video on my iPhone. Well, that.
Speaker 1:I mean we should save it. I know it's garbage, we should save it for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have it Very first Hyperconscious episode.
Speaker 1:I have the second one. That would be. That would be brutal, but it's kind of where it all started. So, alright, make sure you're subscribed if you want to be around for the next 1800, because, again, we're gonna do an episode every day for as long as humanly possible until one of us drops dead or our voices go, whatever happens first.
Speaker 1:So if you want to be a part of that make sure you're looking for someone to help you elevate your life. Alan is the guy, a great coach, somebody who's going to help you stay accountable, give you awareness and help you believe in yourself more. If you don't, if you struggle with self-belief, he's going to help a ton. If you have a ton of belief in yourself, he's going to propel you to even higher greatness. Boom, as always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU, we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Please reach out.
