#1822 - The Problem With Excuses Is That They’re True (Sometimes)

What’s holding you back from reaching your goals—valid reasons or excuses? In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan share how even valid excuses can stop you from becoming the best version of yourself. Learn how recognizing your responsibility and embracing uncomfortable truths can help you move forward, no matter the odds. Tune in for practical tips, personal stories, and a fresh perspective on overcoming life’s challenges.

Link mentioned:
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Show notes:
(1:22) Excuses: When they’re valid but still limiting
(4:52) Growth mindset and the “psychological immune system”
(7:09) The impact of not playing the victim
(9:45) At NLU, we want you to win! So, we’re giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM. 
(12:14) Facing the hard truth of personal responsibility
(16:20) Personal growth:

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

do. I believe that you cannot have success if you make a single excuse. No, I don't think that's true. I think you'll be more successful the more excuses you get rid of. That's what I would say.

Speaker 2 0:14

That's my belief. If you're not where you want to be, it's because, yes, not everyone has equal potential. Yes, you're in a specific economy that has challenges. Yes, there's 8 billion people on this planet and 5.44 billion online. And yes, life is hard and challenging and you're not doing all you can Welcome to Next Level University.

Speaker 1 0:36

I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Speaker 2 0:37

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Speaker 1 0:41

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Speaker 2 0:47

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Speaker 1 0:54

We bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Speaker 2 1:09

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

(1:22) Excuses: When they’re valid but still limiting

Speaker 1 1:16

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number sorry, please hold 1,822. The problem with excuses is that they're true sometimes. Sometimes in parentheses, because maybe they're not always true, but sometimes they probably are true. There is a truth to the fact that it would be easier to not meal prep and just swing through McDank's on the way home. Large number one Big Mac meal, large fry, diet Coke, mcflurry, m&m, oreo or both with hot fudge sauce. Whatever, I'm not. Who am I to judge?

Speaker 2 2:11

I'm not going to judge. Those are some of my favorite foods on the planet.

Speaker 1 2:14

Always, both, Always both. But the truth of the matter is, yeah, you did work a 12-hour day, and yeah, it's a 30-minute ride home from the office or wherever it is that you work. And yeah, it's a 30-minute ride home from the office or wherever it is that you work. And yeah, it's going to suck when you get home that you have to shower and cook your food it's going to suck for sure. And the excuse of, well, I'm going to be tired that might be true. And the excuse of, well, it's going to take me 45 minutes to cook and that means I'm going to go to bed later than I want that also might be true. All of those excuses might be factually correct, but sometimes we have to do the thing anyway, and that's kind of what we're talking about today. There are a million times where you can make excuses. There are a million, and my goal in today's episode is not for you to stop making excuses completely. It would probably be go from I don't know 70% of the time to 68% of the time.

Speaker 2 3:04

Did you say be-go?

Speaker 1 3:06

Is that what I?

Speaker 2 3:06

said I think so.

Speaker 1 3:08

I also think I said it would probably be-go from. Yeah, yeah. My goal in today's episode is not to get you to go from, it's for you to Be-go, be-go. I also said mis-cuses, so we're in rare form today, mistakes and excuses together. There's valid reasons to make miscuses. Very French of me. Shout out to our listeners in the French areas of the world what are your thoughts.

Speaker 2 3:41

My miscuses.

Speaker 1 3:42

Yeah. What are your miscuses on all that?

Speaker 2 3:44

I was listening to a YouTube video that one of my clients sent me. I saved it on my playlist, didn't watch it for a while, then I did. It was awesome and it was about growth mindset. And I'm going to shout this person out Because I think he's helping a lot of people and I respect and admire that. Okay, I don't want anyone to associate me with anybody and, kev, you've kind of been that way a lot too. I don't know this person in person tom bill you, my man, tom bill you. It seems to me like he's helping a lot of people in a lot of positive ways, so respect and admire that about Tom. Okay, so I'm listening to Tom and Tom is saying some stuff. Okay, and he said the problem with our psychological immune system he calls it a psychological immune system, which I think is a really cool frame is that our ego protects us from hard truths by making excuses. Or, in your case, miscuses, that's right.

Speaker 2 4:52

I hope that sticks. So our ego, our identity, our story. We tell ourselves about ourselves, our beliefs about ourselves. And if you've seen Inside Out 2, it talks about self-concept in such a powerful way and how the scaffolding of your own identity can fall out from underneath you. Kevin and I experienced that in our mid-20s him with suicidal ideation, me with my car accident. But the psychological immune system is your ego protecting itself from itself. Aka you want to believe you're better than you are, or you want to believe you're better than you are, or you want to believe you're worse than you are, in order to stay safe. Aka, hang on to what you believe about yourself. And he used this ridiculous metaphor that I actually thought was powerful but also ridiculous, and I'll explain why. He said if tomorrow there was a meteor, two barreling towards the earth, say two barreling.

Speaker 1 5:49

I don't know, man, I don't know man, I'm gonna call you out on your shit too. You know, miscuses go on alright.

Speaker 2 5:55

So there's a meteor hypothetically hypothetical there are no meteors barreling towards earth to my awareness and it's catastrophic sized Armageddon situation. Armageddon's a movie in the 90s, early 2000s I don't know great corny movie it was a great movie.

Speaker 2 6:11

So, anyways, what's the song in that movie, the really famous one I don't want to miss a thing by the one and only aerosmith that is on emilia and i's love playlist. It's a great song. It is a great song. So he said I would consider that my fault. Now that's ridiculous, and he knows it. And so he goes on to explain. He said there's a organization that he is aware of that he has not contributed any ideas or emails or money to, that actually is tasked with preventing meteors from hitting the earth. So he said, while it is wildly irrational and illogical to think that this meteor is somehow my fault, it actually is empowering to realize that I did not do all that I could, because now I can. Okay, ridiculous over the top example, but I've been saying this quote recently I said what happens when the victim never plays the victim.

Speaker 2 7:09

Someone on a podcast recently said how in the hell did you get through all that? I don't understand how that happened, what, what? And I said in some ways, if I'm very honest and vulnerable on this show, as I try to be, I was the victim of many awful things, but I never played the victim. I never used that as a reason why I couldn't improve, why I couldn't achieve, why I couldn't succeed. I never used it as an excuse and if I had, I wouldn't be the man that I am today and I wouldn't be where I am today, even though I had someone behind the scenes say you had every excuse to be nothing. But I never took any of those as excuses. I never pointed.

Speaker 2 8:04

And this is what Tom says. He says we point outward. We always point outward. Well, it's the economy, or it's the government, or it's the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he said and here's the problem, you're right, the odds are stacked against you. You're right. The industry is unfair, you're right. That is unfair. You're right. That is unjust, you're right. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It doesn't change the fact that what you have to do if you want to succeed is actually look at what is within your control.

Speaker 2 8:35

I reviewed our podcast earlier today and I wrote down a bunch of notes of all the things we suck at. Kev said keep it to yourself. I need some self-esteem today. But the truth is you and I called ourselves out recently for not reviewing the show as much as we used to. There are things that we could be doing, that we're not doing, that we know we should be doing, and that is contributing to our lack of success. Now we are successful, but success is relative, and that's ultimately. What I'm saying is, it's so easy to play the victim, particularly when you are a victim. I was bullied. There's a lot of reasons that are very valid for why you aren't where you want to be, but none of them are actually going to get you closer to making meaningful progress if you continue to let your psychological immune system keep you from the hard truth that there actually is more you could do what do you think the difference between an excuse and a uh, what's a good, what's a good frame for it?

Speaker 1 9:36

no, I don't want to say fact like an excuse and an observation.

Speaker 2 9:45

NLU listener what is happening? I just wanted to jump in here and let you know if you want to get to the next level faster. We have a free virtual monthly meetup at the first Thursday of every month. You can connect with like-minded people and become a bigger part of this amazing global community. The link to register will be in the show notes.

Speaker 1 10:07

What's the difference? The energy.

Speaker 2 10:13

What it means to you. Okay, so I got a 92 sleep score yesterday. I got a 77 the day before, and the fact, the observation is well, I was at the lake and I wasn't in my own bed, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and. I didn't get my big five to thrive done because we were traveling, so I had to do it before bed while Amelia was asleep. And I own a business, and so I have to be available, and I'm under pressure, and, and, and. There's a thousand reasons why I got a business and so I have to be available, and I'm under pressure, and, and and. There's a thousand reasons why I got a 77, but I refuse to use them as an excuse to not get a 92 today. That, I think that that's what it comes down to is what you say think, do feel and believe is is your responsibility, and so I think that's what I try to focus on you and I.

Speaker 2 11:00

I think it can be frustrating for you at times, because Kev will come to me behind the scenes how do we, how do we do better? And don't say get one percent better at everything we're already doing and it's well, that's the answer, because that's what's within our control. What we say, think, do, feel and believe is within our control. So what do we have to do differently? What do we have to think differently? What do we have to believe differently? What do we have to to start saying I think I he had a Tom had a mid-show that was way better than some of the stuff we've done, and I reviewed our show and our mid-show is decent.

Facing the hard truth of personal responsibility

Speaker 2 11:31

I show up. Hey, dreamliner, it's not great, I could do better. I could have a little more enthusiasm. I had my glasses on. I was probably tired, probably tired. The truth is, we could do better and we should do better, and I don't know what else is more empowering than that, because the truth of the matter is is, if you're not where you want to be, it's because, yes, not everyone has equal potential. Yes, you're in a specific economy that has challenges. Yes, there's 8 billion people on this planet and 5.44 billion online and, yes, life is hard and challenging and you're not doing all you can and that's it, none of us are I'm not doing all I can, we're not maxed out, and so I think that that's really empowering.

Speaker 2 12:14

But I but I also understand why it's so difficult, because it's so painful to face all that. It's really not, it doesn't. It's not enjoyable at all.

Speaker 1 12:27

I think it's easy to feel like a victim when you already feel bad. That's why it's so hard. The old you wake up. Your alarm clock goes off at 6. You know you should get up at 6, but you don't. You fall back asleep for 20 minutes. Whatever you go to take a shower and you don't have any clean towels. Wouldn't have been a would not have been a problem if you got up at 6.

Speaker 2 12:49

You would have found it no-transcript this to kev behind the scenes. A while back I said you had every excuse to be what.

Speaker 2 13:29

So at your wedding I'm talking a lot about that lately you're after excuse to be what. So at your wedding I'm talking a lot about that lately you're after happily ever after party. I was bawling my eyes out during the, the the first dance, and matt came over and said hey, man, gave me a little handkerchief, thank you, uh. But the reason why I was crying was I get emotional is because you could have been nothing and you made so much of yourself and to me that's the most inspiring thing in the world. I appreciate that, of course. I think deep down, I know I could have been nothing too, and I think all of us could be. I told kevin this earlier. You know how easy it is to be a loser. It's so easy to just let it go.

Speaker 1 14:13

Let it ride.

Speaker 2 14:15

You had every excuse in the world, and so did I, to just be nothing, and I just to me. It's the most inspiring thing in the world to see someone rise above circumstance.

Speaker 1 14:28

I think there's a big difference between making excuse. I think some. I think there's a big difference between making excuse. I think some excuses could be more constructive, but I think it's just the percentage, like what I can always tell when I say something that Alan doesn't agree with, because he looks at me like he's looking through me. He's trying to see what's on the other side of me. Maybe that, maybe that's not the phrasing. The phrasing is how do you change the percentage? Because I make excuses for sure. Do I believe you cannot be successful without? You can be successful without making? What am I trying to say? Do I believe that you cannot have success if you make a single excuse? No, I don't think that's true. I think you'll be more successful the more excuses you get rid of. That's what I would say.

Speaker 1 15:13

That's, that's my belief not that you agree, just like should you ever, should you never sleep in? Well, no, I mean, if you want to get enough sleep and you stayed up late, you should probably sleep in. Does that mean you should always, you should sleep in every day because you just feel like it? Well, no, that's probably not constructive either. I think there's think there's a destructive and a constructive, and then there's a more constructive, and if we're trending in the right direction, I think that's always a positive and that's really all you can ask for at the end of the day.

Personal growth: Where are you making excuses?

Speaker 1 15:44

I mean, yeah, you want to be the most consistent, fulfilled next level in love, in shape, wealthy, healthy, all that stuff. But you never get there unless you go from less to more for long enough. Right For 1% improvements for a long enough period of time. That would kind of be. My takeaway for this episode is it's not going to happen overnight and in a weird way, it might not be that hard to go from the least the most excuses you've ever made to the least. It might not be that. It might not be as hard as you think numbers wise.

Speaker 2 16:20

Where are you making excuses? Where are you not taking personal responsibility? That's a very empowering question. It hurts a little bit because it does hurt it does hurt. That's what's within your control. Oh my goodness, I had a really, really big breakthrough recently. I know we got to jump.

Speaker 1 16:37

Yeah, is it two minutes long? Could it be a two minute long? It's less than that One minute long.

Speaker 2 16:41

Yeah, one minute long. That is my objective. Less than a minute. Okay, start the clock. I had this really cool realization. We were on a huddle last week and I said no one achieves anything great on their own and that is true, and one person can make the difference between a great team and a good team because they set the standard. That was such an empowering realization because people have always been almost up to my minute. People have always been saying well, no one achieves anything great on their own, absolutely true. The NLU team, the NLPS team, you no one achieves anything great on their own. However, and I can set a standard that inspires, motivates and educates at a greater level. One player can make a team truly great. However, they can't do anything great on their own. I think that's a really cool duality that I came to and I wanted to share that, because personal responsibility is more powerful than just you.

Speaker 1 17:40

I dig it, not where I thought you were going to go at all. I didn't know where you were going to go.

Speaker 2 17:45

Well, that sounds like a miscuse to me.

Speaker 1 17:48

It was a miscuse.

Speaker 2 17:49

I've been making a lot of miscuses lately.

Outro

Speaker 1 17:51

All right, speaking of miscuses, if you want to make less of them and you want to get to the next level of life, love, health and wealth, my goodness. Group coaching starts on October 8th at 5 pm Eastern Standard Time. We'll have the discount code in the show notes NLULISTENER. We'll get you 30% off, and the reason we want to do that is because if you're listening to the podcast, obviously you want to get to the next level, and if we can save you money in the process, we're all about that. So the link will be in the show notes. We would love to have you join. Alan still has room for clients. I still have room for clients for NOPS, all that happy jazz. Go to the website nextleveluniversecom If you are unfamiliar with what we offer. There's a lot of stuff on the website. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2 18:37

Please reach out.

Speaker 1 18:40

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Speaker 2 18:47

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Speaker 1 18:56

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.