Next Level University

What Does Go With The Flow Mean For You? (1969)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In today’s episode of Next Level University, Kevin and Alan explore what it means to “go with the flow” and why it’s different for everyone. They share personal stories, lessons from coaching, and surprising truths about success that most people overlook. Whether you’re someone who thrives on achievement or prefers a more flexible approach, this conversation will help you clarify what works for you.

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

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Show notes:
(3:37) Aligning goals with who you are
(6:07) Masculine Vs. Feminine energy in success
(9:55) Embracing strengths for a fulfilling life
(17:18) The gap between expectations and reality
(19:48) At NLU, we want you to win! So, we’re giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM. https://bit.ly/3Ec6ad9
(24:22) The hidden struggles of success
(30:14) How unrealistic expectations kill momentum
(36:30) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Kevin Palmieri

Unfortunately, the lower the barrier to entry, the higher the failure rate, because you don't know what you know is. I've always wanted a podcast or I have a lot more time. Let me test out this podcast thing. Oh shit, I did the episode. Now I have to figure out how to edit it. How do I put it on YouTube? I gotta start doing social media.

Alan Lazaros

What happens if she was expecting $220 and suddenly it's 570? She's not going to buy it. And if she doesn't buy it, she doesn't get momentum. I feel like that's what happens with people is they have this expectation that things are going to go well and then, when they don't go well, they get disheartened and they lose momentum, when in reality that's totally normal.

Kevin Palmieri

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and.

Alan Lazaros

I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

We bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. Welcome to.

Kevin Palmieri

Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,969, what does go with the flow mean for you? I think when we hear go with the flow, we assume it's like smoke a little weed and just let what happens happen, like just go with it. You know, don't think about it too much. I don't think that's what everyone thinks, ken.

Alan Lazaros

No, that's what comes to your mind.

Kevin Palmieri

No, I don't think about that either.

Alan Lazaros

ever I've never even thought about that once. That's what comes to your mind. No, I don't think about that either, ever I've never even thought about that once.

Kevin Palmieri

Smoke some weed and go with the flow. Yeah, yeah, that's not what came to mind for me. What?

Alan Lazaros

came to mind for you, Sort of an open day where you have some structure but you flow within it no weed, no illicit drugs or anything. No no.

Kevin Palmieri

Hallucinogenics of any sort Like an adventure day where you have some milestones you want to hit.

Alan Lazaros

You want to go to the bookstore, you want to go to the movies, you want to make sure you get some food, but overall you're kind of going with the flow. You're trying to be present.

Aligning goals with who you are

Kevin Palmieri

Okay, I think my day sounds a little bit better than yours, but that's that's kind of what we're talking about in this episode. When you hear somebody talk about, when you hear somebody give advice on what they think is best for them, very often you're going to find that it's not what's best for you, and you were using the example of if you're somebody who really self-identifies as, like, an achiever, your go with the flow, your accomplish something today. Your prioritization, what you need to focus more on, what you need to focus less on all of that is drastically different than somebody who might not identify as an achiever. And real quick, real quick. We did an episode one time on how aligned is your grind, and essentially that's what we're talking about. If you love something and you want to do it every day, you doing it every day is going to be quote unquote success for you.

Alan Lazaros

Kevin how aligned is your?

Kevin Palmieri

grind. I would say it's probably the most aligned it's ever been. I've been doing some audio editing and some video editing lately for clients. A little creative work, Honestly, it does. I mean it's a lot. Shout out to our team, our amazing team, who does so much of it behind the scenes.

Kevin Palmieri

Including this episode, including this episode. But yeah, there was a piece of me that missed it a little bit. I missed reconnecting with where this all started. I missed being in the project. It's yeah, there was. There was a big piece of that for me that I didn't realize was missing.

Alan Lazaros

So, very aligned, I would say I was on with a client yesterday and I coached this married couple. Love them both of you. If you're listening, just shout out to both of you. One of them identifies as more of a creative go with the flow. The other one identifies as more of an achiever who is more structured and goal-oriented. Who is more structured and goal-oriented? And I was trying to explain to them that? Just lean into that. Just lean into.

Masculine Vs. Feminine energy in success

Alan Lazaros

I used to believe and I've said this before, and I think this is where self-improvement sometimes starts. It starts from a place of wanting to be different than you are Not everybody, but a lot of people. I definitely started there for me, okay, I'm tall and lanky, I want to be jacked. All right, I'm, you know, this extrovert who has all these friends high school friends, college friends, corporate friends. I want to try to be alone more. And then you overswing that pendulum and realize it's not your nature, it's not your essence and you're not fulfilled. But it's definitely more fulfilling than being on the extreme end of what you rabbit hole. You were down. And so this is what I said, and I'll keep this anonymous, of course, but I said in my honest opinion, having coached so many couples over the last four years. I think that you are feminine conditioned masculine and he is masculine conditioned feminine, and that's the same with Emil and I as well. I think I is masculine conditioned feminine and that's the same with Emilia and I as well. I think I'm masculine conditioned feminine from having an overly dominant caregiver growing up, and I think that Emilia is feminine conditioned masculine because she never wanted to rely on a man for income and money and that kind of thing, and that's okay. That's okay. Emilia is leaning more into her feminine. I'm leaning more into my masculine.

Alan Lazaros

Now, the masculine-feminine thing, male-female thing. I'm not going down that rabbit hole. What I will say is that the feminine is energetically more. Go with the flow, go with your intuition, go with how you feel, go with your hormones, go with how you're feeling in the moment. It's more present, tense present, focused, enjoy, creative. It's more divergent thinking rather than convergent thinking. And then the masculine is this hyper-focused, extremely goal-oriented, external achievement level of tenacity and discipline, and we both have both. We're supposed to have yin and yang. No one is fully one or the other. So socially I think I'm more feminine, but behind the scenes, when I'm alone, it's masculine as fuck. It's ridiculous. I do not waste a fucking second and that's okay and that's why I think I'm. Most people think I'm more feminine than I actually am because they see me in social settings and I am trying to teach. My cat is about to come on the show.

Kevin Palmieri

What's happening Tauriel?

Alan Lazaros

Hi, sweet girl, Hi baby. So that is going to be my cat's butt most likely.

Kevin Palmieri

No, no, we didn't see the butt. No, butt cat's butt most likely.

Alan Lazaros

no, no, we didn't see the butt youtube, no, but you know, nope, the butt was out of frame. All right, welcome to tau real next level. Tau hi, sweet girl, see if we can get a little.

Kevin Palmieri

No, I was hoping for a little meow in the mic there. No, no worries, there's tau on youtube she's so beautiful, okay.

Alan Lazaros

So what was I saying? Masculine feminine okay this couple, I said just lean into it. I think that your true essence is feminine and you're a support player who's very creative, and I'll give you an example. They own a lot of properties and one of her goals that we worked on was to manually customize wreaths for every tenant to give them during the holidays. That's awesome. She loved it. Okay, perfect, that was fulfilling and it added value. Tenants, business awesome, great support. I would never do that. It's nothing against it.

Alan Lazaros

I just would never be fulfilled by that. That's. That's okay, that's not my nature and so lean into whatever you are, lean into it. And I think that. And she wouldn't mind me sharing this and it's anonymous anyway.

Alan Lazaros

But she said, I feel like I I'm not hyper goal oriented and I'm not a super achiever and I'm not like type a type, but I think I want approval from people who are, and I think there's a part of me that wants results that come with that. And I always say this too you can't want type A results without being a type A person. And I said this to you once. I said you don't identify as an achiever, but yet you want to achieve all these things. Right, yeah, and that must be really hard, and that's why I want to turn it to you in a minute, because I think that that's a really scary place to be, to feel like you have to change who you are to achieve your goals, whereas I feel like I have to change who I am to be in relationships with people, and I think we had that conversation recently.

Embracing strengths for a fulfilling life

Alan Lazaros

But whatever you are, your essence, whatever's fulfilling, you got to try to find and hone and design your life around that, whereas her husband I always tell him brother, you're not ever going to be okay with just hanging out. I see it in you, I know who you are, you're. And he wants her to be harder on him and she's like, well, that's not who I am. I'm supportive. I said no, no, I got that, don't worry about it. What are we doing here, son, let's go. And I think that that's. We all want to be something different than we are, and we really need to myself and fucking included need to be okay with who we are, and we really need to myself and fucking included need to be okay with who we actually are. I'm not ever gonna make wreaths and I'm not making that wrong.

Kevin Palmieri

I think she should well, we've had this happens all the time. We'll be getting ready to do an event and again I'm uh, this is always hard because it's because I'm not necessarily proud of the way I think, but that is the way I think, so I'll preface it with that. We'll be getting ready to have the team in for an event or something and Taryn will say you're going to do gift bags. Didn't think of that at all. No, no, I'm thinking about the speech.

Alan Lazaros

That's a Taryn thing to think about. Yeah, yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

Taryn thinks about that all the time.

Alan Lazaros

And.

Kevin Palmieri

That's a Taryn thing to think about. Yeah, yeah, taryn thinks about that all the time and I didn't think of it either. She's wonderful with stuff like that. She's wonderful with stuff like that. And then I said, hey, what are your plans for this weekend? I said Saturday, what does Saturday look like? And she said I have this, I'm going to some book club, book exchange or something.

Kevin Palmieri

I was like alright, cool, now I'm probably just going to work all day while you're gone, and she's like I'm not going to be home and you're just going to work, and I said I have so much shit to do and she's like that's gross. I was like I agree it is gross, yeah, but you've got to do what you've got to do. I said this to Alan recently and again, this doesn't come from a place of egocasters who listen to the show or who listen to Podcast Growth University, where I genuinely don't think you want what we have Agreed. I know you think you think you want what we have. I think you want your own unique version of it, very unique version of it. Yeah, I don't think you want to oversee 60-some-odd podcasts or 50-some-odd whatever.

Alan Lazaros

It is 57, 59, whatever it is 67 if you include group coaching. I don't. We work with 67 podcasters, yeah, but we're not producing it.

Kevin Palmieri

So I don't. It's different, like we, we work with it, but it's different for me, at least for me. But that I don't think that's what you want. I think you probably want a podcast that pays you money and then you don't have to do anything else. Understandable, understandable. I don't think you'd be happy if we traded places, even if you got the results that we have. I don't think you'd be happy because you'd realize how outside of alignment it might be for you to sustain the results that you desired it's outside of alignment with who you?

Kevin Palmieri

are right and maybe you have to trade so much and change so much of yourself.

Alan Lazaros

I never understood and it makes sense because I didn't understand myself at the level that I wish that I had. I didn't understand the delta between me and other people in terms of this goal orientation. I am helping one of my clients with her story. She's going on other podcasts now and we brought up the hero's journey and old world, new world, lonely land, how it all works, and I told my whole story to her behind the scenes and then I kind of stopped my story and then told her why I'm saying what I'm saying and what the syntax is and how that all works. And there's three main parts to my story. I'll give it very, very quickly.

Alan Lazaros

When I was two years old, my father passed away in a car accident when he was 28. When I was 14 years old, my stepfather left and took his entire extended family with him. My mom's family kind of got ostracized from that and again I'll tell my story another time. It's pretty in depth. And then after that it was how am I going to go to college? He took most of the income. Now we're broke broke high school and college student. Find my way, no generational wealth. Find my way on my own type of thing. And then, when I was 26, I got in my own car accident and it was the second chance my dad ever got never got.

Alan Lazaros

That's the shortest possible version of my life's story, and the reason I'm sharing all this is because my trauma response to all adversity is to achieve. I'm an achiever. I am motivated by failure deeply like, unfortunately for me. Yes, yeah, and so I gotta make sure that I'm manufacturing constant failure so that I stay ignited and I'm very competitive by nature. But I hide a lot of that socially because it's less acceptable, it's less common, and I think that other people are actually pretending to be more competitive than they actually are. I think they're pretending to be more goal-oriented than they actually, than they actually are.

Alan Lazaros

And when I told my story, I did the whole thing. The hero's journey, joseph Campbell every step it's, every film is built on this to some extent. And I did the whole thing and I afterwards I had this moment with her where I was like this is is insane. I've never unpacked it to this depth before because I've never taught it. You don't unpack something fully until you're teaching it and I go. None of this is normal, huh? This is weird. My story is freaking weird as hell, and what I mean by weird it's just constant bludgeoning and adversity and achievement through it.

Alan Lazaros

My story is awful thing happens find a way to get better and achieve more, aim higher, work harder, get smarter and then rinse and repeat for 36 years essentially, and luckily in the tail end of that mature and look inward and repeat for 36 years essentially and luckily in the tail end of that. Mature and look inward and personal growth and therapy. But my point of all this is at the end of the story I had this knowing about, about my essence, that holy shit, I'm an achiever. Like the one through line about my life is I've never not been achieving goals ever. And I was listening to an interview with Michael Phelps and I had this moment of like that dude's an achiever. Like he had numbers written down and he had posters of his competitors and he had like I'm like that, I have, I have all these numbers that I'm always going for. My vision board was just a whiteboard with a bunch of numbers, of all these numbers that I'm always going for. My vision board was just a whiteboard with a bunch of numbers of all these different things I wanted to achieve and I just had this moment of like.

Alan Lazaros

I wonder if everyone else is actually as achievement oriented as they think. And my question for you to flip this episode to over you if you're resonating with the achiever, that's great. If you're not, lean into into that and be okay with it, because the truth is, you're never going to be fulfilled. I'm unfulfilled when I'm not achieving genuinely Like. Sunday was great. I poured into myself, I watched a couple movies, I got some R&R, but the only reason I focused on R&R is so that I could crush this week. I'm not. My goal is not R&R, my goal is to put as much on the court as humanly possible, and I just don't think that's normal, and I think I used to think that was normal, because most people pretend to be that way and maybe they just don't understand or maybe they feel ashamed that they're not or whatever. But there's no shame at NLU. It's basically whoever you are, own it, accept it and try to design a life around that.

The gap between expectations and reality

Kevin Palmieri

Well, it's hard because I think most people either think they want to aspire for more or actually want to aspire for more, and I think we live in a world where it doesn't seem okay to not want to aspire for more. It's not allowed. It doesn't seem allowed when now? Okay, okay, I would say this how has how has your view of people changed? Where now? When somebody says honestly, like I just want to make enough money so I can stay home with my family, versus in the past, I'm sure that probably would have broken your brain, for lack of better phrasing it would have, in the sense that the unfortunate part about that is that mathematically, you're in trouble if that's the goal, and I think that from that frame I can explain a little deeper.

Alan Lazaros

But now I understand why that is. This person should do that. You should build wealth in real estate, support your husband, be the best mom ever of all time because that's obviously what matters to you most and you should design your world around the ways that you can contribute to the tenants and the properties and all that stuff. But you should not be in spreadsheets every day, like that's never gonna work for you, whereas for me I don't ever not want to be in spreadsheets. I literally said this to her I coach you and your husband. Your husband never misses tracking, ever, every single day. He's in there. You do it right before the calls, right and and and. That's okay, I'm not making that wrong.

Alan Lazaros

I think it's good for you, but it's not who you are, whereas for him, this is who he is. This is like his favorite thing ever. He would hate his life without spreadsheets. And so I want to turn it to you, kev, which is how have you become someone who's achieved so much without identifying as an achiever? Because I think that that's very, very rare, and I know obviously some of it is being around me but I also know that you either are more of an achiever than you ever thought and are still working on owning that, or you've basically just decided I'm screwed and I'll never achieve my goals if I don't own some of this achiever stuff because you're in your spreadsheets every goddamn day.

Kevin Palmieri

I've always wanted to be successful. I've always wanted that and I was never against hard work for it. I just didn't know how to do it. I've always wanted to be successful. I always wanted to be fulfilled. I always wanted to be confident. I wanted to be financially free. I wanted to be abundant. I wanted to be able to donate money to people. I always wanted that. I just never knew how to do it. So it wasn't the fact that, because I think for some people and again, understandably so this is why self-awareness is so important the reason you don't, you're not going to get what you actually want, is because it's not what you actually want and it's not aligned with the person that you aspire to be, and that's totally fine. I'd rather you know that now than spend five years chasing a dream that you don't actually want to sustain.

Alan Lazaros

How does someone know that they don't actually want it? Because it does look awesome and the world is making it look awesome.

Kevin Palmieri

You don't ask somebody what they have, you ask them what they do. That Nice, and you have to be very careful, because if you're 50 years into the journey, you don't really have to do anything anymore. Potentially, potentially, yeah. What was the beginning like?

At NLU, we want you to win! So, we're giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM.

Alan Lazaros

That NLU listener what is happening? I just wanted to jump in here and let you know if you want to get to the next level faster. We have a free virtual monthly meetup at the first Thursday of every month. You can connect with like-minded people and become a bigger part of this amazing global community. The link to register will be in the show notes. I have a client where, if he grinds for the next, he's 38. If he were to grind for another 10 years and he would be 48, which is still reasonably young, like 48 year old man. If you take care of yourself, you don't look that old it's fair and you still can play sports and there's a lot of life to go.

Alan Lazaros

seriously, I don't understand why people start like I feel like my life won't even start until I'm 50. I'm weird with that.

Kevin Palmieri

You are strange.

Alan Lazaros

The point is he could never work again and he would look wealthy forever. And we can go into briefly why that is. It's just a snowball of finance that you siphon some snow off of, and it's picture investing a certain amount of money and that investment pays enough to where it pays for your life. And then some and a lot of people are living off generational wealth. That is that way, like this couple, for example. They're building a real estate. They have properties, rental properties, and over time, when they're older, they'll be able to retire because they have enough money coming in without them having to work. But the paradox there is they had to grind for many years to build that and some people just haven't had to. But it's almost like you have to look at the world and say, okay, here's who people really are behind the scenes, when no one's watching. Here's the social media land which isn't real. Here's beneath the iceberg of those achievements and here's what I do and don't want. You have to treat it like a buffet, but it's almost like the food is masked Like a lot of people want to achieve.

Alan Lazaros

They want to be the CEO of their own company and they want a team and they want to like, have a podcast that's successful, and they want to have an impact and I love it and I great. And they want to host virtual events on how to uncover, define and live your most important core values. When I say we've done four years of book club and we've done four years of relationship talks, coaching, and I've been mentoring for 10 years, coaching for eight, and I've got 24 five business owners that I'm working with right now and Kevin and I work with 67 podcasters between group coaching and production, and we have a 16 person team, 15 person team. That all sounds awesome and it is awesome, but what's beneath that iceberg is constant responsibility.

Alan Lazaros

It's always there. It's constantly there. There's never a day where I'm like what do we want to do today? It's always make sure everything's good, make sure my clients are good, make sure the team is good, make sure Emilia is good, make sure her team is good, make sure we're good, make sure the pets are good, make sure the team is good, make sure emilia is good, make sure her team is good, make sure we're good, make sure the pets are good, make sure the house is good, and then, like, I might get some r&r in the evening, and so the, the, but I don't want it any other way. I am actually looking for more clients. I have three clients that are nine hours a week every week, three times a week.

Alan Lazaros

That's just three clients. That's nine hours a week nine times four. That's 36 hours a month with just three clients.

Kevin Palmieri

And I want more of those. You were aware of what it was going to look like. I think that's the thing. I think that's where it's really easy to get lost is you think of the result, you don't think of the process that you you have to practice long after the results come in if you want the results to continue coming in. I think that's why it's, that's why it's so hard.

The hidden struggles of success

Kevin Palmieri

One of the I say this all the time and this, this crosses many different things and industries and categories and practices and hobbies and all that people often ask about. Well, I'll talk to people who started their podcasts in covid and I said one of the things that's great about podcasts is it's super easy to start once you get over the limiting beliefs and maybe the fear of judgment and that type of stuff. Logistically, it's not hard to do. It's very easy to start. Unfortunately, the lower the barrier to entry, the higher the failure rate. Yeah, yeah for sure, Because you don't know what you know is. I've always wanted a podcast or I have a lot more time. Let me test out this podcast thing. Oh shit, I did the episode. Now I have to figure out how to edit it and how do I put it on?

Kevin Palmieri

YouTube. I gotta start doing social media, damn okay. And then social media is oh, my family's going to see this.

Alan Lazaros

I have a client who has a YouTube channel who just finally, after years of doing this shout out to you, brother, sent it to his family Sorry, my cat is playing with my cord. We love cats around here, we do. The ultimate cat dads Nice, both of us. Both of ultimate cat dads nice, well played both of us. Both of us. So shout out to you.

Alan Lazaros

He finally had the courage and he said this is the scariest thing ever. He said, and he I don't mean this any negative way, and this was his words behind the scenes. He, he said I know this is politically incorrect, but it feels like in some ways I've come out of the closet and now I'm this self-improvement guy to my entire family. And they sent it to my entire extended family and there's like 100 people on that side of the family over, you know and he his dad, asked hey, can I share this with the whole family? And he said I gotta say yes. So this is who I am now.

Alan Lazaros

And now, if I fail, I was the youtuber who had a dream. Now, if I fail, I'm letting everyone down, type of feeling. And so it's. That's the internal versus the external. It's really cool to be a YouTuber Like that, sounds really cool, but do you understand how fucking terrible that is. Like it's not easy. This dude does a. I mean he video edits and records every goddamn day. Like I don't even think I'm exaggerating, I actually think he's doing. I know he's doing a short every day, every single day Himself, but that's how you start and I just don't think. I don't think that we see the whole iceberg. I really wish we did.

Alan Lazaros

I wish we could just see the whole iceberg. That's my goal in life is to help everyone see the whole iceberg. I think that's why, when I was giving the training to the wpi students two weeks ago, I think that's why I kept stopping the speech going hey, listen, I just gotta. I think I just need you to know what's underneath this result that looks awesome yeah, we're doing.

Kevin Palmieri

We have a group coaching call tonight and it's the first session on podcasting. It's purely podcasting. Kevin teaches kevin's the the pilot. Alan's the co on podcasting. It's purely podcasting. Kevin teaches Kevin's the pilot. Alan's the co pilot. Amy's the co pilot, tal Riel will be co-pilot.

Alan Lazaros

I hope so, co-pilot.

Kevin Palmieri

Co-pilot number two. I love it. I love it.

Alan Lazaros

She can speak better than me. Actually, she'll meow into the mic, you know it.

Kevin Palmieri

I was doing research today because one of the things I talk about is there's a YouTube channel called Hot Ones where they eat hot wings and they have celebrities on. It's cool. It's a pretty entertaining show. I went back to the— F that, by the way.

Alan Lazaros

I would, can it?

Kevin Palmieri

I can't even with the spicy food. I went back to the very beginning.

Alan Lazaros

Their first 10 episodes Nice.

Kevin Palmieri

How bad it's. Not even that. It's that they so they started in 2015,. So the show's been around for 10 years and they have world. I mean, they have all the people on now All the people, of course, huge guests. Well, in the beginning they partnered with someone and they had really good connections, so they didn't start from the ground floor. In a way, I'm not making that wrong. Good for them. They partnered with someone, but their first guest was Tony Yayo. I don't know if you know who Tony Yayo is. I don't. He's a rapper. He was in G-Unit. Mgk was one of the first guests. He's a rapper as well. Professional athletes the first 10 guests were like world famous people yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

Tony Ayo's not super world famous, but if you looked at it now you might think that was easier and or harder than it was. I'm sure it was unbelievably challenging to do video content every week for the last 10 years and get certain people like and the creativity behind it, and all of that coming up with amazing questions. The dude is a world-class interviewer. So I'm not saying it wasn't hard, I'm not saying that, but you most likely think it was either harder or easier than it actually was, based on what your expectations are. 100. That is one of the things that I think is super important. What if he's a grinder? What if he likes grinding? What if he loves working 14 hours a day? It might be more aligned for him than it is for somebody else, and I just think that self-awareness and awareness in general is very important.

Alan Lazaros

What if one of the reasons Kevin and I we playfully joke like, wow, we've gotten kind of negative on this episode? What if our negativity, what seems like negativity, is actually just level setting expectations? Because I actually think the number one cause of failure this is going to be bold is just having the so far. Emilia, she's buying new tech and and she's getting a new. I talked about a new macbook and a new macbook mini, which is like a apparently a desktop computer. That's five by five. So cool, because back in the day when I was building computers, it was like insane, you needed this huge tower, so it's awesome. But anyways, the number that they said versus the number that it was was I we got.

How unrealistic expectations kill momentum

Alan Lazaros

The verdict is back. If you listen to a couple episodes ago, yeah, it's way. I said, sweetheart, that guy's wrong like that. There's no way this is going to cost you that much. It's going to be cheap as hell, like you're going to be fine. The monthly payment is going to be like 82 bucks and it's going to be a total 220 bucks a month, which again substantial, but no, nothing compared to the 570 this dude gave you expectation 570, reality, 220. She's pumped, pumped, awesome. Do it run. It make it happen. What happens when? What happens if it was the opposite? What happens if she was expecting 220 and suddenly it's 570? She's not going to buy it, and if she doesn't buy it she doesn't get momentum. I feel like that's what happens with people is they have this expectation that things are going to go well and then, when they don't go well, they get disheartened and they lose momentum, when in reality that's totally normal.

Kevin Palmieri

Well, yeah, but here this is the hard thing. It would be way easier for you and I to only talk about the results, not typical clients, the results, not typical things that have happened, because we would be way more successful that way. But, to your point, it reinforces that thought process. That's what most people are doing. Most people are taking one client who did really well here. Okay, I launched a podcast with someone and it was the top 10 relationship podcast on the planet had nothing to do with me it was what that person had done on Worst chief sales officer ever.

Alan Lazaros

No, I love it.

Kevin Palmieri

But I think that's the difference, and I know that most people aren't willing to say that.

Alan Lazaros

And again, what most people would have done is they would have created an ad of you saying that and then made it seem like everyone can get that result, and that's not how we play.

Kevin Palmieri

And that's what fucks up people's expectations Exactly.

Alan Lazaros

And that's why we're playing a longer game.

Kevin Palmieri

The fitness industry is a really when I was a young kid, when I was 16, 17, 18, and I'm reading these magazines.

Alan Lazaros

Do you ever buy the Arnold pack, the supplement pack from the Arnold I fell for? I don't think so. For some reason. I was never big on just throw Arnold's name on it and any naive idiot is gonna buy it.

Kevin Palmieri

I was never big on him because he was earlier in time. I was like I never really was into him. But you'd see these, these guys who were just jacked, just the most jacked, and then it would just be associated with like a protein or a pre-workout or whatever. They're all on steroids, all of them, and because they're professional bodybuilders, you have to be on steroids to be a professional bodybuilder. Competing against those types of professional bodybuilders. You know how many people were probably heartbroken when they got their isogainer 15 and nothing happened. Most people. Last thing, before we get out of here we were into. The first time we interviewed Evan Carmichael in person. I said isn't marketing just making shit look better than it is? And he's like no, that's not what it is. I think it is.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, I think uh more than ever. Marketing is knowing your target demographic, the messaging to that target demographic having the irresistible offer the channels in which you reach people the different types of ads and all that stuff and it is making your product or service look way better than it actually is, because that is what marketing is.

Alan Lazaros

Let's be real, You've got to make it look as good as possible, yeah, and I think that we need to err on the high side of reality. And the truth is we aren't the type of people who would create an ad. We have launched a top 10 podcast. We could easily create an ad saying we've done that More than one More than one and, honestly, maybe we are leaving success on the table by not sharing that.

Alan Lazaros

But we would rather see people really win in the real world, and I think setting the wrong expectations is the way to failure. That is the road to failure, I would concur.

Kevin Palmieri

I think it's three. I think it's false expectations, misaligned expectations, misaligned approach, misaligned time perspective. Those are three of the biggest Because if you think it's going to be easier than it is, you're jeffed. If your approach is off, you might end up just going in circles, and I guess this is kind of expectations, but I think it's a little bit different with time. If you think it's going to happen in six months, when it really takes six years, you're going to think you're doing something wrong and maybe you're not.

Alan Lazaros

You might be right on.

Kevin Palmieri

That has to be there. Well, don't give it away. That's the good speaking of next level live. We are having a virtual event, so it is completely virtual, so we will be live streaming the entire event on zoom. And it is what is it? April 5th, hold on, let me just triple check april 5th, 10 am.

Alan Lazaros

Eastern standard time, 30 pm to 4 30 pm.

Kevin Palmieri

Eastern Eastern Standard Time. To 4.30 pm To 4.30 pm Eastern Standard Time. Alan and I are going to take our best stuff that we have learned over the last coming up on realistically, a decade, I would say and try to make it as digestible as humanly possible. But the ultimate goal is you're going to leave with awareness, you're going to leave with tactics and you're going to leave with tactics and you're going to leave with More belief than you came with. That's really the ultimate goal. I don't want this to be One of those events where you come and then you forget about everything the next day. I don't want it to be that. I want this to be something that's really transformational, really impactful and something you can take and practice sustainably from and if for nothing else, tao take and practice sustainably from and if for nothing else Tal Riel will be there.

Kevin Palmieri

Okay, there you go. She will be very excited. If you're a cat person, there you go. If you're a cat person, there you go.

Alan Lazaros

I'll see if I can get our. Tal will also be speaking in Kevin's place.

Kevin Palmieri

Yes, I won't, even, I'm not going to be there.

Alan Lazaros

Cats, cats will be there If you're listening to this on Wednesday. Tomorrow night, thursday, february 6th, at 5 pm Eastern Standard Time free, always free. Monthly meetup every month, 38 in a row. So three years and two months how to uncover, define and live your most important core values. And this comes very at home with this episode, which is find out who you are and what you are and what you value, and design your life around that. Be very careful about shooting for things that are just wildly outside of alignment with what fulfills you, and not everyone has the same core values. If I've learned anything over the last 10 years mentoring, coaching it's everyone has different core values. That's very, very clear, and I think you uncover them more than you go out and find them. So let's uncover them, and Thursday it's free, we hope to see you.

Outro

Kevin Palmieri

One of our core values is creating sustainable self-improvement. So the meetup is free, as always. The virtual event will be $47. And you'll get access to the replay and all that happy jazz. When we were talking about pricing, it was like I want it to be sustainable. I don't want somebody to have to give us a $100 bill. I think $47 is sustainable for the business and for the people, and I think that's really what we're aspiring to. That's really the goal. I want you to be able to come and not have to think 17 times about it because that money could go somewhere else. That money could go somewhere else, but I want to make it as sustainable as possible. So that was the focus. All right, we're out of here, as always. We love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you. The NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros

Stay next level, next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

Head Shot

Alan Lazaros

Host
Head Shot

Kevin Palmieri

Host