Toya Talks
Assertiveness in the Workplace and the New Era of Flexibility
I've always believed that embracing your true self is a rebellious act of self-love, especially when the world tries to carve you into something you're not. This belief echoes through today’s conversation, sparked by Laura Matsu's powerful reflections on self-acceptance. I delve into the pivotal updates in UK employment law, specifically the new flexible working legislation. It's essential intel for every working woman in the UK.
The energy shifts as we navigate the delicate dance of professional friendships, taking cues from the Receipts Podcast's Tolly, Audrey, and Milena. On top of that, the Employment Relations Flexible Working Act 2023 brings fresh challenges and opportunities. I'll guide you through initiating those crucial flexible working conversations during job interviews, ensuring your mental well-being isn't left at the office door.
Wrapping up, we confront the frustration of fighting for one's worth in spaces that tend to sideline our voices and contributions. I stand with Taraji P. Henson as she navigates the tides of Hollywood, championing the need for fair recognition and compensation. Her narrative isn't just about the entertainment industry; it's a mirror to the broader workplace struggles that many of us face. So, whether you’re contemplating a career shift while juggling the prospects of motherhood or seeking the courage to demand what you’ve earned, this episode is a testament to your strength and a reminder to step boldly into your power.
*This episode includes x1 dilemma.
Sponsorships - Email me: hello@toyatalks.com
TikTok: toya_washington
Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast)
Snapchat: @toyawashington
Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks
www.toyatalks.com
https://toyatalks.com/
I've always believed that embracing your true self is a rebellious act of self-love, especially when the world tries to carve you into something you're not. This belief echoes through today’s conversation, sparked by Laura Matsu's powerful reflections on self-acceptance. I delve into the pivotal updates in UK employment law, specifically the new flexible working legislation. It's essential intel for every working woman in the UK.
The energy shifts as we navigate the delicate dance of professional friendships, taking cues from the Receipts Podcast's Tolly, Audrey, and Milena. On top of that, the Employment Relations Flexible Working Act 2023 brings fresh challenges and opportunities. I'll guide you through initiating those crucial flexible working conversations during job interviews, ensuring your mental well-being isn't left at the office door.
Wrapping up, we confront the frustration of fighting for one's worth in spaces that tend to sideline our voices and contributions. I stand with Taraji P. Henson as she navigates the tides of Hollywood, championing the need for fair recognition and compensation. Her narrative isn't just about the entertainment industry; it's a mirror to the broader workplace struggles that many of us face. So, whether you’re contemplating a career shift while juggling the prospects of motherhood or seeking the courage to demand what you’ve earned, this episode is a testament to your strength and a reminder to step boldly into your power.
*This episode includes x1 dilemma.
Sponsorships - Email me: hello@toyatalks.com
TikTok: toya_washington
Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast)
Snapchat: @toyawashington
Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks
www.toyatalks.com
https://toyatalks.com/
I'm at the point in my life where I'm totally at peace with people misunderstanding me. I could be like I love dogs and someone could say, oh, so this means that you hate cats and I'll be like sure. Whatever you say, there is no greater peace than accepting that everyone has a version of you that they've made up with their heads and knowing that it often says more about their own state of mind than it says something about you. And that was posted on Instagram by Laura Matsu. Hello and welcome to a brand new episode of the Toy Talks podcast. I am Toy Washington, If you haven't. If you haven't figured that out already, Let me just be honest.
Speaker 1:My permanent state of being is tiredness, and it's more than just being a low-ion babe. It's just because life is life in all of the life in time, and I'm just, I'm very, very, very tired. I've taken my iron tablets, I've had coffee. I just think that, as a new mum, that that's our permanent state of being. It's rushing around, stubbing our toes, being tired, always planning, thinking ahead, and sometimes that mental tiredness of just never being able just to stop is what makes one tired, and I've never known a tiredness like this. I haven't, you know that hasn't been attributed to just low iron. That being said, I did want to record a new podcast episode and I've been trying to find the time of when to record and even though I have stuff that's pre-recorded, I just kind of felt like, okay, I just need to record a new episode and then I can put some of the other pre-recorded stuff out periodically.
Speaker 1:So in this episode of the Toy Talks podcast there's been some employment legal updates that I want to provide you with that. I think that will be quite useful for you, especially the flexible working. Some new piece of legislation has come out and periodically I'll be doing stuff like this. I think I've done it before, but I'm being a bit more conscious about things like this, because this does deal with employment, careers, life and I feel like, in terms of legislation, it's important that we understand the parameters and where we live here in the UK and what legislation is afforded to employees and how we enforce them. And also, I believe that employers are not necessarily going to be in a position to tell you what legislation is or what your rights are, and I've always said, in order for us to understand our power, we have to have access to information. So hopefully you will find this podcast episode really informative.
Speaker 1:I will also be discussing Taraji P Henson, Daniel Kaluya and a few things that have happened. You know, like you know career-wise with me. When I say career-wise, just experiences that I've had, that I feel that you can learn from. Uh-uh, Come on, Come on Sky News with your theme tune there. Sorry, I had to turn my phone down. I should maybe have like a little jingle, wouldn't it? News updates. I can't be dealing with all of that. So yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1:And also, I don't know if I mentioned before, but we do have a dilemma as well. I know that a lot has been happening in 2024 and we're like only a few days in, like 15 days in to 2024, Steph London and Jada Kingdom are just going back and forth. I'm even tired at this point, but what has surfaced is for me anyway, is Steph London's illyrical ability, which is, I think, is brilliant. I'm seeing a different side to her. I wouldn't really too sure if I liked her, and I think I do like Steph London. I just think she's just our version of Nicki Minaj, just without all the like, without just hear me out. She's our version in the UK of Nicki Minaj without as much support, if that makes sense. But when it comes to illyrically, I think she's quite good and I do like her and in a way I kind of feel for her in a way, because I think she really really does love her. But I think that Nigerian demon boy has got out under the wing. No, I'm joking, I think she's in love with him and I feel like we've all been in that situation of doing dumb shit because of love and no one can sit here and tell me oh, it's not because of him, because that's what started this out. And I just kind of feel like Bernard Boy went on a track to say that Jada Kingdom has the best pom-pom but has never even done. Is Bernard on any track for Steph? He's never promoted her, he's never used his social media to nothing, and I just kind of feel like Steph and all Jada Kingdom needs to do is play that track where Bernard Boy says that a pom-pom is the best in Kingston and everything done, every part of it done, and we could just move on.
Speaker 1:The recedes podcast are back as well, and with Tolly and Audrey, and they did go into detail, or as much detail as they could, to kind of, you know, put some flesh on the bones about what happened with them and Milena. At the time I just kind of was like you know what ladies you could have just started your podcast without. But then I thought, no, I feel like everybody was really like putting Tolly's foot to the fire. So I feel like Tolly has to have an opportunity in which she kind of expresses herself. I feel like she did very well in kind of communicating how she felt and, irrespective of you know her being a strong character and this, this, that and the third, I think she gave me food for thought about the fact that how many times is Black women have we been demonised for just being having a strong character?
Speaker 1:I can attest to having those experiences and whilst I think that there were fundamental flaws in their relationship between Milena and Tolly and I think that you know, you can hear it on episodes, you know it's not, you know I do think that when you decide to make somebody from a co-worker to a friend, there's a responsibility you have to that friend and when you fail in that responsibility, that friend is allowed to be angry and allowed to be upset and I feel like they were colleagues.
Speaker 1:It developed into a friendship and I think that Milena didn't handle that friendship very well, but I don't think Tolly gave that friendship as much grace.
Speaker 1:From what I can see and what was said and this is just purely my opinion Either way it was actually nice to have Tolly and Audrey back in a new episode and I can see the direction they're going in and I think it will work for them.
Speaker 1:I think Milena needs to not come back now and tell us what happened. I think you had a window where you could have shared and gone into detail whatever it is you wanted to do and you haven't done that. Tolly has become very not become, but stepped into her vulnerability in a way that, in a way that in my mind, I'm just like why, as Black women do, we have to be that vulnerable to for you to know that we're human and it's. This whole thing is, just because I'm the strong friend doesn't mean I always have to be strong, and I really could relate to Tolly, having my own experiences with having a family member pass away from cancer. So I get it and I just hope now sorry, I was just a bit away from the microphone, Sorry. Hopefully you can hear me better now.
Speaker 1:I was just listening back and I was like oh yeah, I just hope that Tolly and her family are covered and their ancestors continue to guide and protect them, and I hope that the ladies, their podcast goes continues to go from strength to strength. That is literally what I think, and I think, milena, just let it be now as well. You know. So, flexible and predictable working the employment relations flexible working act 2023. Under the act, employees will have the right to request flexible working from day one of their employment, rather than after 20 to six weeks, which is the current position. Regulations implementing this particular change were laid before Parliament on the 11th of December 2023 and will come into force on the 6th of April 2024. Employees will also be able to make two requests in any 12 month period, and this is up from the one request previously. Employees will no longer have to explain the effects of the change requested, as they do currently, and employers will have to make a decision on the request within two months rather than three. That being said, flexible working is not just for parents and carers. It's for absolutely anyone, and I think that is the common myth and misconception that flexible working is mainly for parents and carers. So it's important that I reiterate that flexible working is a way of working that suits an employee's needs, for example, having flexible start and finish or working from home. All employees have the legal right to request flexible working, not just parents and carers, and you don't have to have been working for an organization for a certain amount of time, so day one, so you might start on Monday, and on Tuesday you can put a request in for flexible working.
Speaker 1:I would always encourage people to be pragmatic. Yeah, what employers must do is employers must deal with a request in a reasonable time. So what you're going to find is a lot of organizations maybe don't have policies that support this new piece of legislation. So you have to think to yourself okay, what's the reasonable amount of time that you would expect an employer to respond to your request as an employee for flexible working? Examples of handling requests in a reasonable manner include assessing the advantages and disadvantages of the application, holding a meeting to discuss the request with the employee and offering an appeal process. If an employer does not handle a request for flexible working in a reasonable manner, the employee can take them to an employment tribunal.
Speaker 1:An employer can refuse an application if they have a good business reason for doing so. Now everyone can justify a refusal, or any organization can justify a refusal based on a good business reason, and I think what's important is I've told people before if you're taking up a new job, you should be building these into your contract as part of the negotiation. I've given several examples where a job will be advertised as something and I allow them to fall in love with me and then I use it as a negotiation tool to get what I want. Anything that's agreed in the interview process is not legally binding unless it's negotiated into a science contract of employment, and I shouldn't have to say that if you've been on the toilet halls journey, but I'm reiterating it for the avoidance of doubt. I think also as well, when we talk about flexible working, a lot of people and I'm included like I find that work like going into an office, like mentally draining, having to deal with the transport system, for example.
Speaker 1:Some of you need to build the ability to be flexible at work as well. So when you're starting a new job or if you're currently in a job, you need to know how you could work remotely. If there's train strikes, you couldn't get in, what are you going to do? There's been so many instances where I've received emails in the mailbox. If people basically say to me, toya, I've asked to work from home and they basically said they're not set up for me to do it and they haven't been set up for you to do it because you didn't pursue that as part of your negotiation tactic. You didn't actually explore this before you was in this situation where you actually have to work remotely. So it's about being pragmatic. It's also about making an employment work for you, and I speak about this all the time. I've got the negotiation masterclass. There's so many episodes and dilemmas where we've explored these themes, and this new piece of legislation, or this amended piece of legislation, gives the ability to number one, have access, for everyone, to have access to it. But also about making employers responsible for actually responding in a reasonable manner, and some organisations are going to be indignant. They're going to put their heels in. They dig their heels in, but it's then about youth asking yourself is this where I want to be? An inflexible company that doesn't actually consider flexible working that will aid me to do my job and deliver it better? These are the questions that one needs to ask.
Speaker 1:Another piece of important legislation is the neonatal care leave and pay act 2023. So the neonatal care leave and pay act is expected to come into force in April 2025. The act will grant parents of newborn babies who are hospitalised in their first 28 days of life for seven days or more the right to take neonatal leave and pay for up to 12 weeks. This new legislation ensures that parents are able to spend more time with their babies who have crucial care, who are having crucial care, without the worry of taking unpaid leave or returning to work. Parents who take neonatal leave and pay are also entitled to return to the same job after their period of absence. So this basically deals with, for example, if you have a child and they go into like a special care unit or they need that neonatal care and they're hospitalised within the first 28 days of life for seven days or more, you have the right to neonatal leave, to take that leave and to be paid for that leave up to a period of 12 weeks, without having to use your holiday or have unpaid leave.
Speaker 1:And I think that's so important because it's now recognising, finally, that sometimes when you give birth, it's not straightforward and whilst you may be a maternity leave, your partner or the person that is there supporting you doesn't necessarily have that luxury for an extended period of time. So that's what that new piece of legislation does and I think it's very, very important, especially like having now, like having given birth to my daughter. I was in hospital for a total of 10 days and my husband, the first two weeks of his parental leave was me being in the hospital which, if this new legislation was enacted in time, what would happen is he would have started his paternity leave after we would have come out of the hospital, rather than having and then be covered by the neonatal care piece of legislation, which means he would be. He would be. Do you understand? Like it wouldn't take, it wouldn't? He wouldn't take that leave out of his maternity because the maternity hasn't started, because our child was. You do understand, and that's how it works, and I think it's really important. It recognises that births are not straightforward, paternity leave is not very fair, and also that we're living in a society where we're having really honest and open conversations and nobody accounts for birth traumas or a child may maybe having breathing difficulties at birth and then has to go into a special care unit and kept in there for a few days, and you know all these things that happen around a birth, that the neonatal care act 2023 now allows parents to just be present when that happens, rather than worrying about work or worrying about contacting HR about paternity leave or maternity leave and things like that. So, yeah, and this neonatal care act extends not just to, you know, partners and things like that. It extends to the mother, because maybe you, your maternity leave, make the child comes early and something happens. Is it fair that you take maternity leave or do you take the neonatal care leave and then start your maternity leave when you come home with a baby? You know those? Those are the things that I believe that this act covers, and I think it's important that we acknowledge that this act was initially enacted in 2023 and it will come into force with the new legislation in April 2025. So I think it's definitely something to bear in mind.
Speaker 1:Next update is the carers leave act 2023. It also comes into force on the 6th of April 2024. This act will grant a new entitlement of one week of unpaid leave annually for employees who care for dependence with long-term needs. The right to this leave will be available to all employees from day one of employment. So long-term needs are defined as anyone with a condition that meets the definition of disability under the equality act 2010. Illness or injury, physical or mental, that requires or is likely to require care for more than three months, or old age. So that's the carers leave act 2023. That update is more coming to effect on the 6th of April 2024.
Speaker 1:And, lastly, by way of updates, which these updates are more like, family focus, changes that obviously affect you in terms of employment, if any of these are applicable to you. But the last one that I would like to update you on is the protection from redundancy. So the pregnancy and family leave act 2023. So I do have a maternity masterclass and there was a subsection within that masterclass that mentions redundancy. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to provide this update in relation to that subsection in the maternity masterclass. If you bought the maternity masterclass, you will see it added there. So what I'll do is, in the next episode of the podcast, I will tell you once I've made those updates so that you can see them there.
Speaker 1:So, coming into force on April, the 6th 2024, this act expands the current laws protecting pregnant employees or those on or returning from maternity leave, adoption leave and shared parental leave facing redundancy Currently employees on maternity, adoption and shared parental leave have enhanced protections in redundancy situations, including the right to be offered a suitable alternative vacancy over other employees at risk, if one is available. This new act, or the addition to this act, expands this protection to include pregnant employees From the moment they notify their employer of their pregnancy through to 18 months after childbirth. Effectively, they will be able to utilize this act to be offered alternative employment, if there is any available, in the situation that arises of redundancy. Or is that protection is not given to pregnant women? Would you believe that? It's just unbelievable? So, as I mentioned, these are more family centric updates that they relate to, obviously, your employment and how you can then use them. And the thing is, I can guarantee that more than 50% of the people that reach out to me, the HR department, are not even going to know about these updates. So you have to be informed enough to inform them, and in informing yourself, you let them know you mean business, that you've checked out the legislation, you understand how the law works to protect you in your employment. You understand what you're trying to enforce as part of your legal, you know what you want to enforce as part of your legal entitlement, and this is why I think, periodically, it is really useful to provide legal updates, employment updates on the Twitter Talks podcast.
Speaker 1:Now, just a quick question I do have. Where would I put this? I have a masterclass called. I don't know which masterclass I put on. Actually, do you know what? I'll open it up the floor and then you tell me where you want it.
Speaker 1:So the flexible working request. I can provide a template of the request so that you know, because I don't think there is anything that I've found that puts a template together that helps you for the initial request for flexible working. If you're interested in that template, can you let me know, and I will make it available to those people who have purchased the masterclasses. So maybe I can draft something for flexible working and put it on each of the masterclasses, or I will put it on a particular masterclass where I think that flexible working is more pertinent.
Speaker 1:But if it's something that you are interested in and you think, yeah, you know what, I've got a masterclass and I think that I would need a flexible working request template, can you let me know, because what I don't want to do is add stuff that you don't find useful. So if it's something that you think that you would find useful, then let me know, because on the toy talks masterclass there is, you have your own dashboard. So what would happen is you would go into that masterclass and then on the dashboard. So you'd go on your dashboard onto the masterclass and then you would see it as an attachment. So just let me know. If you want me to do that the flexible working request template then I'm quite happy to, and I can provide that for anyone who has purchased a masterclass and it will be available on your masterclass within your dashboard.
Speaker 2:I'm just tired of working so hard, being gracious at what I do, getting paid a fraction of the cost. I'm tired of hearing my sisters say the same thing over and over. You get tired. I hear people go. You work a lot, you have to. The math ain't mathin'.
Speaker 1:So that snippet is from Taraji P Henson. She is currently, or was currently, on a press tour for the musical film adaptation of the Colour Purple. The Colour Purple is produced and I'm not sure if it's written by, but I know it's produced and I know that the adaptation into film was done by Oprah Winfrey's company own and effectively Taraji P Henson had a breakdown. She had a breakdown because she feels like the math is not mathin' In terms of where she has to negotiate from and she basically says that she always has to negotiate from the bottom, despite her past achievements, and in negotiating from the bottom she effectively is always starting again every time she has to negotiate and where she should be financially. Where she actually is is parallels apart, and if you followed, you know a lot of that story you would see that there was a point where another cast member actually shares how powerful Taraji P Henson is in kind of protecting and, you know, sticking up for herself as well as all the other cast members, and gives an example of turning up to the set of the Colour Purple and not having their own dressing rooms, not having any transport to get to where they're filming, and Taraji then says you know, oprah wasn't aware and I had to make her aware. And when I did make her aware she did what needed to be done to make sure we had everything.
Speaker 1:Now, personally for me, I'm not a fan of Oprah Winfrey unpopular opinion. I never have been a massive fan of hers, just because of certain things I've read and I've educated myself and I just kind of find that with Oprah, a lot of the things that she does in my opinion are quite performative. I don't feel the whole you know the whole supporting and elevating black women from her. I think you get that more from Tyler Perry than you would get from Oprah. From what I have seen, monique has spoken about Oprah Winfrey and spoken about you know how she's been treating the industry being blackboard and things like that. But she specifically spoken about Oprah and called her out before. So I wasn't really surprised when I heard about the experience of the cast members on whilst they were filming the Colour Purple.
Speaker 1:So Rajee P Henson feeling that she has to negotiate from the bottom all the time despite her achievements, is really sad and I can see it really weighs heavy on her for her to break down in that way because she talks about having to keep working to pay her staff and feeling like you know that she's not doing enough and she needs to just pick up all these jobs to be able to fund the basic things that other people have. But to feel like you're always having to negotiate from the bottom and start again is I can only ever imagine. That would be not only an exhausting space to be, but a place where you feel like you're undervalued by your industry and everybody who creates an opportunity doesn't actually put respect on your name. It's more than giving someone flowers. This is now about the financial benefits of you know being able to be an astute, astound and accomplished actress. As to Rajee P Henson, she's one of my favourite actresses and I love the way she just carries herself. I've got her book as well, and she's definitely, you know, worked her way up from the bottom.
Speaker 1:But having to start from the bottom every time is uncomprehensible, incomprehensible. Sorry, I'm dyslexic and we're going to go with that, but I think it's also an example to all of us, and it's an example to us of when an organisation doesn't know your worth. You are always having to start from the bottom with negotiations. So you may have a 15% pay bonus in your contract. That is obviously, you know, dependent on a load of things. But this is why I always tell you about your burn frauders in your employment, because when you're achieving and you're doing well, nobody remembers it. In the situations where it means the most or the matters the most, no one's remember that. When you're drafting your objectives, no one's remembering that. When you're talking about bonuses and pay increases and title changes, they don't remember those wins that were amazing at the time. They will try to give you pizza as a reward, but no one wants to talk about. Actually, I need a monetary example of what you know I have done here and I need a pay rise. And I want to pay rise because you've acknowledged that I'm really good at what I do.
Speaker 1:Having to start from the bottom all the time is equivalent to having to start from the beginning when you're doing your negotiations, and you should never have to. And this is what I say about the burn fraud, because everyone's got short memory when it comes to paying you what your worth, and that's effectively what Taraji P Henson is saying. Everyone forgets all my accolades, all my accomplishments, all my achievements when they're asking me or I'm auditioning and I have been chosen to play a role, albeit a lead, but then negotiating forgets all of that and it's as if I've just kind of fresh out of drama school or fresh out, and for me it was a reminder that I am never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to allow anyone to make me start again, because every time I talk to you I can't start again because we've, especially when you've come so far in your career, the idea of starting again is what I've done isn't enough. And then it feeds into the whole am I enough? Self esteem, confidence, imposter syndrome.
Speaker 1:And I understand how society, employers, managers play into the needs to have us start from the bottom, because they believe we will always be at the bottom and that's just never, ever, ever, ever going to be a position I ever accept, because that's where I came from, that's not where I'm headed. I'm headed to the top. I will. We're going to remember what I have done to get him and this is why your CV so important. Your CV tells a story of your career. Your CV tells a story of your career, your achievements and your accomplishments. So when I'm negotiating with you about my day rate or my salary, I'm not going to start from the job I did in 1999. We're going to start from everything I've achieved to date. We're not going to you're not going to get me to forget about everything on my CV because you don't want to pay me what I am due because my I'm priceless. You can't pay me what I'm worth, but you pay me what I'm due. A labor is worth their wage and I think that's how we have to look at it.
Speaker 1:Teraji P Himpton is a really uncomfortable situation because if she says too much, she could face being blackboard like Monique. But at the same time it's catapulted a conversation that very much needs to be had about how we and I say specifically black women see ourselves. However it is, you know, I definitely feel as black people in our community. It's a conversation that's ongoing. Obviously, this podcast is two and four black women first. I pick black women first and always because not only am I am I am black women, but we understand the dynamics in the workplace and how things operate and how we have had to navigate strategically to even get recognised for what we do.
Speaker 1:But Daniel Kaluwa shares why he refuses to work with white stars who haven't achieved as much as him, and Kaluwa declines a collaboration with a brand that sought to pair him with a white actors who hadn't reached similar career milestones, stating why would I shrink, why would I dim? And states he must always ensure he's representing right. That's the energy that is, every time you have to start from the bottom, you are dimming your light Every time you have to start again in terms of having those conversations. The fact that I have to have a conversation with you about a pair of eyes is really pissing me off anyway, but the fact that you are then going to pretend like you don't see and you don't hear and you don't know is me dimming my light. And this is why I tell you in the Negotiation Masterclass in the podcast episodes if you are a subject matter expert, working towards it, have experience and you know that you are deserving of you shouldn't feel like you shouldn't go for what you want because you feel like, oh, am I worth it? You're worth it. You have to have the energy and you have to know that you're not only a subject matter but good at what you do.
Speaker 1:And some people may listen to this podcast and think I don't even care what you think about me. The fact is, I know my worth. I'm not going to compromise that for nobody. And if I tell you this is how much I want and you and I can't get to a compromise, I'm willing to walk away because staying will have me operating from the same position as to Rajee P Henson and I'm not prepared to do that. We all make a lot of sacrifices the sleepless nights, the studying they're not doing so well, having to repeat, starting again in and amongst trying to build to who we are now. The idea that I would ever dim any of my achievements and any of my sacrifices is inconceivable. I'm not prepared to do it, because every time I go to work, I'm still negotiating my space, because I'm still getting the looks, I'm still reassuring myself silently that I deserve to be here and then fighting the good fight of making sure that I maintain and I continue to build on who I am and what I do. So again, when I listen to Raji P Henson, I hear her heart breaking because what happens is then, if it continues in that way, she will fall out of love with Axion. Because who is really going to be a punching bag for how society continues to depict black women and who's going to continue to be a punch bag for a career that doesn't put any respect on her sacrifices, her name and her achievements. And you know, I'm going to be really open and honest with you.
Speaker 1:I think for a long time I was walking in the wilderness in my 20s and I kind of fell into what I do because it wasn't a thing. And then, when it became a thing, I made sure that I continued to add. There was a point in my career where I took a lower paying job because of something that had happened at work where I hadn't passed my probation. I was in my 20s at the time and it was because I wasn't strategic and I didn't understand probation. So I didn't understand the world of work and I'd worked my arse off and this lady read pens my CV and made me feel like I was nothing. She even questioned if I had really achieved my law degree, bearing in mind this woman hadn't even sat her GCSEs, because sitting in my face doing that and she read pens my, it was so disrespectful. And then I remember having to. I felt like I had to leave because I couldn't stay. I already felt like an imposter.
Speaker 1:This woman's basically called me a damthroad and that was the very last time in my career, I ever, ever, number one allowed it to happen. Number two ever not passed the probation period. But number three took a job that was like, significantly lower paid, because I needed to just think, I needed peace and I still needed to make money. And this is why you have the past in your probation masterclass, because when that happened in my 20s it was the last time it happened I passed every single. Do you know? I've extended my own probation. I've asked for a probation to be extended because I wasn't sure whether I wanted to be a permanent member of staff in an organisation.
Speaker 1:You see, I've taken the time to understand how the world of work works, strategically, understand. So I can never start from where I came from. You know, they say, if you forget where you come from, you'll go back there, and part of that is allowing people to take you back to where you've come from. What is that? I don't, I can't remember who sings this song Starting from the bottom. Now we're here, like I started from the bottom and now I'm here, I'm going further up and I'm going to achieve what has been ordained in my path to achieve and in a way, I kind of feel like Taraji P Henson sharing. That was not only her frustrated and it's like a cry for help. But there's a strength in being honest because she's polarised this in the forefronts of conversations. But I'm going to need her to have the same energy as Daniel Kalia Because, honestly, that's the energy you need to move with.
Speaker 1:I feel like some people think that you know I don't actually think everyone thinks it, but it has been said Like people sent me DMs and said about me being overconfident, and there's no such thing as being, for me, being overconfident. I am confident Because when you've sat them exams and done them all nighters, when you've worked in spaces and in places with people who are the attempt to treat you like shit and you're having to then strategically navigate them and you're having to advocate for yourself, when you've made the necessary sacrifices, like I have done, I have to be confident because I bet on myself all the time I've come through for myself. I bet on myself and I know my sure bet. But what we cannot allow to happen is, when you're trying to elevate to those next levels, having to start from the bottom to negotiate. That means, if you're doing that, that means you don't know your worth. That's not even about the other person at the end of the day, because my CV speaks for itself. My CV tells a story that will open doors, and if your CV is not telling a story, then you're going to have to go back to the drawing board, because sometimes it's that CV that will set the tone of our negotiation. When you see my CV, them numbers better be ringing in your head. Don't come to me on some stupid tip. And I've realized that even more so now because I've stopped receiving phone calls that are stupid, do you understand? Because my CV told a story. To write a CV not only tells a story, is the blueprint of a success story. So why are you starting from the bottom? I'm just starting to think like you need to now start using social media in the way that you have done through this kind of purple press tour, because this is unbelievable and it's not right, because I don't hear her white counterparts complaining of the same thing. They want us on the cheap, that I want to pay. But then, when you start to advocate for yourself and use your voice and are fearless in negotiating, when you are understanding of your greatness, when you are understanding of the direction in which you want to walk in. When you stand on your self, you stand on business, I stand on myself, I stand for myself. When you have that energy, when you have that energy, you decide to start in point of them negotiations. That's the energy you need to have. No one's going to believe in you more than you. No one's going to want more. No one is going to want more for you than you want for yourself. That's just it. So we should watch this space.
Speaker 1:When it comes to Taraji, I'm going to be really interested to see how things evolve with her. I'm feeling that to do an episode just on Oprah, because I feel like I've just kind of teed around. I just don't feel her at all. I believe everything Manik said and it's a shame that Taraji has had to repeat what Manik has said and it's nothing new. It's just now focused on a particular person who's so unproblematic.
Speaker 1:When she did her, I believe Taraji P Henson did some type of collaboration with Mac lipstick. I was disappointed Because this Pat McGrath. She should have done it with Pat McGrath. That would have been a power. I feel like Mac is underrated and Mac is overrated and I don't really rate Mac as a brand Because they've only just jumped on to what is. In my opinion, they've only jumped on because Rihanna has applied pressure with Fenty. That's my view. I mean, why can't we see Fenty and Taraji do a thing? Like you know, we should be seeing Taraji doing a lot more endorsements as well. I don't know why we're not seeing that.
Speaker 1:I think I believe she said that she's sacked some of her team as well Because clearly your team are not sharing the vision, honey. What you need to do is add me to your team, honey. I'm going to keep those people hungry, honey. I'm going to keep them brandals coming in, honey. I'm joking, but yeah, I just wanted to share that because it really saddened me to watch Taraji break down in that interview, and it has, in a way, made us look at Oprah, because I don't believe this. Oh, I didn't know. I didn't know Oprah. This is Oprah Winfrey. Are you kidding me? She's a billionaire. A billionaire. She may have people working for her, but come on, like you're working with the Taraji P Henson, you better put some respect on that woman's name. Stop all of this nonsense. So we are moving on to the dilemma that we have received, and here goes, and it's entitled Diilemma Career vs Motherhood. Hi Toya, I hope you're well.
Speaker 1:I'm a long time listener to the podcast and this week's episode podcast really stuck and struck a chord with a dilemma I'm facing. I've been in my current role permanent full time for about one year now. I've known for a while that in terms of jobs, person, person fit, we're not aligned. It's a good role and through the tools you teach, I negotiated a great salary in terms, but I just don't feel satisfied in the role and I haven't for a good six months plus. In terms of why I took the role, I saw it as an opportunity to develop my track record around commercial skills, which I hope to leverage in my career. The pivot also moved me into an industry that I really wanted to be in. However, following your advice of treating your career as a project, I feel this role has fulfilled its purpose and I'm ready to move on my dilemma my partner and I are planning on starting a family within the next year.
Speaker 1:I'm worried that if I was to move to a new role and soon fall pregnant, that it would affect my trajectory in the role. I'm not talk less of being able to access my maternity benefits, as I would have worked there for less than the required time. My current role also offers a lot of space for me as it's not too demanding. I personally struggle with this, as I'm so used to fast-paced roles in highly ambitious settings. I'm not sure I'm in the place where I want to coast through my career either. My spirit can't accept that the only choice is to stay in a role that I don't want to be in. It's enabled me to have some peace and safety as I move into the next phase of my life. I know being a mother is sacrificed, but I also know that I won't want to come back to this role if things don't change. Side note, in terms of outcome, I'm looking to be somewhere where I feel challenged and can say I enjoy my work. There is a potential opportunity to consider the scope of the role, but I wouldn't even know where to start.
Speaker 1:I hope you have an amazing 2024 and I look forward to the next life event. First of all, there is a lot here. I released my first episode of 2024 about motherhood, so I believe that is what this young lady is referring to. There is a lot here, so I'm going to break it down the best way I can and hopefully you find it helpful. First of all, you need to purchase a maternity masterclass, because I feel as though it will unlock a lot of things for you about maternity and the reality of it, especially from a financial perspective and a career perspective as well. I feel like you can never prepare for, you can never prepare a perfect situation for motherhood, but you can prepare some basic foundation things. That's what I believe, because I have gone through it, I'm living it and I've done it.
Speaker 1:One of the things I'm going to be really care about is maternity leave requires money and if you're hoping to rely on the money you get from the government, that ain't shit. So I think you need to be in a financial situation where you feel comfortable enough to be on maternity without having to worry about your job or going back to your job. I think there is a lot to be said about career and where you are in your career when having a child or planning to have a child, and I completely understand what you mean about not feeling fulfilled, not wanting to stay and settle, but then knowing that the long term plan is to have a child. So you do want to benefit from that maternity leave and having a job to go back to. But then it's about what you're prioritising, because, to your point, if you were to move to another job, there are some roles or some organisations that require and I think even legislation that require you to have worked for a certain amount of time to unlock that maternity, access to that maternity. But then I think you need to ask yourself, if I was to be, if I got pregnant tomorrow, what would I be most concerned about? Because I'd start from there.
Speaker 1:My thought process was always I need to be in a good financial position, I need to save, yeah, and where I'm at now in my career is I'm having a lot of come to Jesus moments about my career because I never specialised. I worked in different organisations and different industries deliberately. I didn't want to be pigeonholed. My sister-in-law asked me a very pertinent question a few months ago and again this Christmas. We talk things through and I realise I actually want to specialise now. I'm ready for the right place for the right organisation. I want to specialise in a particular area that I'm really, really good at and subsequently always get particular roles in a particular industry. So that's the first thing. Sorry, that's the third thing.
Speaker 1:Fourthly, I think that you need to know what your priorities are and, unfortunately, as women we make a bigger sacrifice, because it is our careers. That we take a step back from it is because you're the one that is considered in most cases as a mother, the primary caregiver. Yeah, you're the one that has to recover. Your body has to recover. So going back to work straight away isn't really there. But I also believe and maybe more so because I'm a contractor that where I paused to have my child and go on maternity, I am paused and went straight back. But I think that being a contractor allows me to do that, because I never had to share with my industry or anybody that I was on maternity leave. People just think I took time off and I did take time off, but I haven't said why I took time off. So I get where you're coming from.
Speaker 1:I think it's also important that if you if you're more, because you seem like a bit more like a planner I would say you need to look. If you are asking me, toya, what would you advise? Because that's what you're saying, this is what I would say I think you need to look for other opportunities and I think that you need to use this job that you have as a step and stone to look in at other opportunities and leveraging everything you've learned from the Toy Talks podcast and terms of negotiation and things like that seeing your career as a project, as you are, and look for other opportunities. And then, as part of looking at opportunities, you need to look at what their maternity is, without asking them right, because you don't really want to put yourself in that situation, albeit that they would discriminate. Whatever the fact is, you're in charge of all the variables.
Speaker 1:And then I think that you need to look at your timelines in terms of having a child and say to yourself okay, I know I'm going to move to this organization. They're brilliant. Tick, tick, tick. I'm going to be there for a year, and I think that's how you have to look at things. I think you have to start acting now, hence why I believe that you're approaching me about this. And then I think you need to start stacking, if you haven't started stacking already, and you need to add to that stack with. The view is that wherever I'm going to end up and where I'm going to work, I need to make sure I have a certain amount of money to facilitate my ability to have the type of maternity leave that I want to have.
Speaker 1:When I also say, look at your career like a project, there's an element, that of when you have a child you're going to look at your career differently again, because your motivations are different, they change. Yeah, I'd, if I, if I hadn't had my daughter, I don't think I would be sitting here talking about specializing. I think I still would have been in organizations doing the projects that I, you know I get and be happy with that. But the reason I want to specialize is because it feeds into a longterm goal that I have, and that longterm goal is also influenced by the fact that I've got a daughter now, because my thing is always about securing her future, being a present mum and also in showing that she feels safe and secure, that mum is not just prioritizing work I'm her priority, then everything else and then work, and that's exactly what it is, whereas before it was just about work.
Speaker 1:And I think also, you have to and I think you're, you're alluding to it here you have to bear in mind peace, peace, peace is a very unknown thing. It's an underrated valuable ingredients to a good quality life. Peace is an underrated valuable element of life, even more so when you're pregnant, even more so when you have a child, because where you are now focused on maybe being more challenging in your role, that might come with a whileer. So in order for you to balance it, you need to see what's going on in the market. You need to go and have those interviews, knowing that you're not pressured to taking those roles. I think you need to bet on yourself and I think that you need to see what's happening in the market so you could have a measured view about what you want to do next. But you need to prioritize a few things. You need to be able to move the priority or move the goal a little bit.
Speaker 1:And remember, I said move because maybe what it is is that if you move jobs, you have to accept that you will have to have a certain length of service before you would then unlock maternity benefits, quote, unquote benefits and then that may move your timelines to having kids, but there may be that will give you an opportunity to save, build and grow. And again, if you see what is out there in the commercial space in terms of you know in your industry, then you can make an informed decision. Okay, I could stick this job out and I'm going to have a meeting about moving some of these things and then reviewing it in six months, and I think maybe short term reviews is probably better for you. So I'd say give yourself three to six months, see what's out there in the industry and still have those conversations with your current employer, because what it means is you're now having some moving parts and you can see where everything is and you're still in control of the variables because you're seeing what's happening outside and then you're strategically being able to align yourself to where you want to go. Does that make sense? So, in conclusion, I think you should have the conversations internally. I think you should now put the feelers out as well externally and have certain conversations, and then I think you should be intentional about what you want. I think you should have like three or four top things that you want to achieve in 2024.
Speaker 1:You need to be open to the fact that you may have to compromise on a few things. You need to get your savings up and you need to also put down on a piece of paper the type of role you want and the non-negotiables so that when you're going and you're having these interviews and you're now thinking, okay, am I going to make this move or not? You're able to sit there and have had a strategic approach to your next move. That's the advice I would give you. But you would do yourself a disservice if you don't start having conversations and seeing what's out there, because you don't know what opportunities are there until you put yourself out there. And my mum always used to say to me a bird in hand is more than one in the bush. You've really got a job and although you know it's not challenging or whatever, you can change things to make it a bit more appetizing, because you know your long-term goal is you need to stay somewhere long enough to unlock maternity. And if you change things in your workplace, you're able to negotiate certain things and then don't go back to that job after you've had your child, then that's you haven't lost anything because you still opened up your opportunities in the market and you can reopen certain conversations after you've had a child. So that's what I'd advise. Hopefully you find that helpful and, having had my daughter in May take maternity, did all the stuff I needed to do before I had her. Now, having had her, she's a nursery back into the working world.
Speaker 1:I do see things differently in terms of my career and where I want to go and how I want to achieve certain things, and the fact that I'm sitting here telling you I want to specialise will only go to tell you that if you create certain opportunities for yourself, you give yourself options, and when you give yourself options, you give yourself choice. Choice is a very, very affordable luxury that we don't always understand is at our disposal, because we don't recognise when we're in charge of certain variables and I know when it comes to my career, I'm in charge of them variables I can decide if I want to work here, leave here, start here, go over there. The autonomy to choose comes from our ability to see our jobs and our careers as a project, and you are a self-employed project manager of your career. So I wish you all the best of luck. Let me know how it goes, give us an update, and I appreciate you writing in and sharing as well, because I think that's people that are listening to this will find this really helpful. So thank you for that very good question. So I'm going to leave it there. I'm going to leave it there and I'm going to thank each and every one of you for listening and all my new listeners, welcome.
Speaker 1:Make sure you acquaint yourself with some of the older episodes, which you know I'm sharing a lot. There are a few things I wanted to share on this, like some of the experiences I've had, but I think I'm going to leave it for the next episode, just because I feel like there's a lot packed in this episode. I want to overdo it, overload you, but if you have found this helpful, if you want to leave a comment and you listen it on Spotify, please leave your comments. I do read them. I do post them up as well. Unfortunately, I'm not able to reply. It doesn't have that functionality, but it allows me to also know that I'm on the right track in terms of the episodes and the topics and that you're enjoying and engaging in them.
Speaker 1:I am available on other social media platforms. I say available, but I am present. I mean, I'm on TikTok, toya underscore Washington. I'm also on Instagram, toya underscore Washington. Toya underscore talks. I'm also on Snapchat, toya underscore Washington, and if you have a work related or life related dilemma that you are, you know, want help with or an assistance with, please email hello at toytoolscom put on the subject line that it is a dilemma and we will endeavour to help you here. Your anonymity will be protected and no personal information will ever be divulged, and I will do my best to assist in advising on the toy talks podcast. Um, yeah, that's it really. Happy, happy new year, happy 2024. Hopefully a lot of you have done your vision boards. Hopefully a lot of you are starting to manifest what you want to achieve this year and are focusing on your focus. My name is Toya Washington and you have been listening to the toy talks podcast.