The Kristen Becker Podcast
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-Personal Development, Mindset & Psychology
-Higher Consciousness & Spiritual Growth
The Kristen Becker Podcast
Smart Quitting to Avoid a Life of Mediocrity
In this thought-provoking episode, we delve into the concept of intentional quitting and how it can liberate us from a life of mediocrity that often stems from our habitual behaviors. Join me on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth as we explore the transformative potential of consciously letting go of unfulfilling paths and embracing new possibilities.
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Most people are terrified to quit anything. Jobs, relationships, businesses, little things that aren't working out in their lives, bad habits and as a result, they're willing to take the trade off of living a whole entire life of mediocrity, an unfulfilling life. And I know this from personal experience. When I was in my late thirties, I remember having the very distinct and profound longing and feeling in my soul that something just wasn't right. You know, I was like, from the outside, I realize everybody says, Hey, Kristin's checked all those boxes. She's got this perfect life. However, I felt very unfulfilled. And what's worse is I couldn't point to why, right? I didn't have my logic and reason going on to tell you it's this part of my life and this part of my life. But I knew that something really wasn't going right, or certainly not the way the little child in me as a little girl knew that life was going to feel as as an adult. It wasn't even close to that. And then something really profound happened that really motivated me to do some major things in my life to make some major changes. And that was learning about a book by Bronte. Bronte where who was a hospice nurse who had worked with people on their death beds. Right. And the book is called Regrets of the Dying. And I haven't read the book. I don't need to because when I heard that the very number one regret of the dying is I wish I would have had the courage to live a life true to myself and not what others wanted me wanted of me. Well, that really resonated with me. I said, That's it. That is what I'm feeling inside is this fear that, you know, one day I'm going to be this cute little old lady on my deathbed and I'm going to think, Gosh, I squandered that. I had so much to give, so much to live, so much vitality to bring out in the world. And what happened? I didn't do it. How did I let this happen? That was my fear. And as I realized that that really was my biggest fear. It helped me to overcome my fear of acceptance not being accepted. A lot of things that I was doing was because everybody said, Oh, yay, aren't you fabulous? And I was like, Yes, I am. Thank you. You know? And because I was just afraid of not being accepted and doing the things that everybody else was doing that everybody agrees this makes you a good and worthy person. And so I had a fear of not being accepted. I had a fear of admitting to people that what appears to be so pulled together actually on the inside is like putting right in my soul. It was like putting, like shaking in the in the vessel. And I also had a fear of just going off in a new direction, right? I had a fear of taking risks. I had a fear of not having a plan, of having to say, I really don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what my next step is. That can be a very scary place to be. But by contrast, when I got to see that that potential fear next to this fear of letting my habitual patterns take me into a whole entire life of mediocrity, I was like, Yeah, I'm definitely ready to have some courage to make some changes. And we can quit in many different ways in our lives. We can quit habits, we can quit friendships, we can quit social circles, jobs, all sorts of things moving even. And when we think about quitting, usually the first thing we do is we try to think of like, Well, okay, what's my safety net? What's my plan B? What's my next move? We want to have that confirmation of what is coming next. And that's a cautionary thing. You know, I realize that it can be nice to have the safety and the comfort of that. However, a lot of times what we do is we just trade our suck in for a slightly less sucky situation because we're comfortable there. We know how to operate in that space. And what I found was sometimes this just, you know, up and quitting something and giving myself the space to get grounded, to get perspective, to get clarity that all of a sudden I see opportunities I never saw before. Right? Options, new ways to look at things in new ways to do things. And I'll give you an example to put this in perspective. And the other kind of quitting, I call it like lazy quitting or overwhelming quitting where you're just like, I cannot take this anymore. I quit. And what I'm talking about is a bit more of an intentional quitting because the way I see it, if you have the level of consciousness and intention to just say, I recognize that this is not working and I'm ready to make a change and therefore I'm going to quit this situation, that same level of consciousness, that same level of intention and ability, right to think and navigate through your life is going to serve you in finding the best path quickly for you in the wake of the quitting. And an example I want to share is that kind of somewhat recently, I kind of just dropped out of society, right? I was like, Man, things are getting weird out there and I don't know what to make of it, so I'm just going to quit. Not really hanging out on social media or socially with people, and I'm the first to admit that it was a lonely, scary, sometimes dark place. But the brilliance that I found in it and I truly think that we're designed this way is because all of a sudden what's not happening, I'm not being influenced by other people's fears, ideas, beliefs, vibrational patterns, psychology, all of these things. So what do I find? Without all of that in my life, I find me. I find clarity about how I really feel about stuff, about what's really important. And I call this the Whole30 model. If you've ever heard of the diet plan, Whole30, you take away the dairy, the sugar and the carbs for a month, 30 days, and then you slowly add them back. So you might add dairy for one week, see how you feel, and then you might add back sugar and see how you feel and you can get really clear on what resonates with you or works well with you or what doesn't. So in this perspective of quitting, I think of it as the Whole30 model, right? Sometimes I just need to step away from everything, quit and then get more clarity, you know, so that what I am that cute little lady on my deathbed with my braids. I've already picked out my old lady hairstyle. I'm going to have braids. I'll say, You know what? I did it. I like the path that I went down. I like where I pivoted. This is pivoting. Quitting is pivoting oftentimes, and I'm glad that I had the courage to do it for myself. And that is really all I'm looking to share with you today. This idea of are there things I want to quit? And if I do, what is going to be my next step? Where do I want to start applying this principle in my life? Because everything becomes us when we put it into practice? 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