Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go tohttps://www.engineeredtolove.com/to learn more!
Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.
Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go tohttps://www.engineeredtolove.com/to learn more!
Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.
Hi there, today I am talking about getting back in the driver's seat of your life by doing a digital detox. Before we get into that, I want to share a little bit of a life update with me. This is pretty big. For the longest time, I was working at a very large tech company and, as of the end of last year, me and the most recent large tech company have parted ways. Last year, me and the most recent large tech company have parted ways and I've been doing my own thing. You know, I was at before that the most recent company.
Speaker 1:
I was at Intel for about over 10 years, and so it's a big, big shift, going from spending my whole life kind of being in school or being working at these large companies to now being out on my own. So what am I doing? Well, one, focusing more on my coaching. Two is focusing more on myself. And third is this new focus that I've gotten into is really consulting with tech startups that are in like the early to mid stage, looking to do that hyper growth, and focusing on tech startups that are in like the early to mid stage, looking to do that hyper growth and focusing on tech startups that have some soul to them that want to make some changes in the world and make it a better place for you, me, all of the humans, to have a better human experience. Like to me, yeah, it's just not enough anymore that tech just does cool tech things and makes a lot of money. It's it's time it's time to step. Just does cool tech things and makes a lot of money. It's time to step up the game. To me, that's a little bit lazy, it's a little bit who cares? Like it's been done. There's plenty and plenty of billionaires that made tons of money off of tech, that have done things, but sometimes we wonder, it's like, has it made life any better? And this is kind of going to tie in with the topic of the day of doing a digital detox, because one of the things, as I said, like the second thing that I've been focusing on, is focusing on, you know, on my, on myself and my health, and both physical and sometimes more importantly, is the mental and the emotional health, because working a long time in an industry where there's tough requirements and challenging situations and all these expectations and all this competition, even as good as I am, as good as you are, you still go. Oh man, maybe I'm still not good enough.
Speaker 1:
So big thing that I've been getting into is nothing, absolutely nothing to actually cause when it's when I now that I basically I run my, my calendar, I run my businesses, I run my life, and so it's like noticing that, it's like I'm I'm running around, I'm hurrying, and it's like for what, to, to where, for who, who? It's like this is my life. Now I'm running it. I can't blame it on, oh, for the job or for this other person. I'm choosing the people to be in my life, I'm choosing the activities I'm going to and I don't choose anyone that would be, you know, be totally frustrated with me if I was, like, five minutes late.
Speaker 1:
So, getting better at just being and enjoying, enjoying my life, and that's something that I want you to be able to do. And, yeah, maybe you haven't been able to make the the pivot from, you know, having to do your nine to five or eight to eight or whatever it is, and maybe all that. Yeah, I'm going to share with you something today that can have a massive, profound impact, and anyone can make this happen. You just have to believe that it's important enough and believe that you're important enough, and I believe you're important enough, which is why I'm here talking to you, my, my friends, my listeners. I love you guys and I want you to have a joyful, amazing, beautiful life where you're having impact. Don't get me wrong it's not about just sitting around for sitting around sake. This is sitting around so that you can be the best you that's going to have amazing impact in less time, with less effort. Wouldn't you like that? I know that's what I want, and if you don't want that, if you're like no, justin, I want to bleed from my eyeballs and I want life to be so fucking hard and I just want it to be a grind. Oh yeah, that's what I want and like. This is not. I am not for you. It's not the show. Like.
Speaker 1:
I've been going to a lot more events for tech, startups and things. There's literally one called Startup Grind and I'm just like fuck that event, fuck it, I don't want to go. That's the antithesis of what I'm all about. I want startups that are wanting to get big, have big impact and yeah, of course, be financially viable, but in a way that's joyful, easeful, and they're doing what they do in a way that's good for the leaders, that's good for the people in the company and then, ultimately, because there's an old saying, it probably goes to lots of things, but in programming and engineering, the old garbage in, garbage out, and so if there's stress going into the products that are being made, that go out, that we use, how do you think it's going to be like using these products? And I'm guessing it's, and I've heard, I know, I've talked to people, I've heard from people about what it's like to work from, like you know, meta and some of these large tech companies.
Speaker 1:
It's stressful. And what's it like using most of these products? Like, does anybody like usually feel like, oh my gosh, I'm so at ease and peace after I'm on Facebook, oh my gosh, I so feel calm after interacting with a brand new Google product before they completely get rid of it? No, it's stressful these places. It's stressful to work there and the products come out are stressful, whereas Apple again, apple could probably do better.
Speaker 1:
Yet in comparison, I used to be a big windows, android, all this and eventually I switched because I'm just like, I just want shit to just kind of work and be be easy most of the time, and most apple products they kind of just do that. They kind of just do what they're supposed to do. Most of the time, and most people that I know that work at apple, they they kind of enjoy it like yeah, they're putting in, they put some some, put some hours, yet they feel like it's worthwhile and that it's enjoyable and that it's making a difference. So it's a very different. You know flavor and so that's the type of you know people I want to be working with that want more of that, and that's what today's topic is all about is how you can be at ease, know yourself, have some clarity, because how often do you second guess yourself, how often are you just like is this the right thing to do, or did I mess that up and it's?
Speaker 1:
You're just like not even sure where to go, or you just feel like you're spun around. There's 3 million things going and you can never make any traction on any of them. Today's topic is all about letting that go. So I just wanted to share this big news of sort of like what I'm up to in my life, the big shift. It's not, it's not been, easy to go from.
Speaker 1:
Okay, I got this steady job and the steady paycheck to like I'm not exactly sure what the future is going to bring. Yet I'm the one that is now deciding what's going to be in my future and, um, perhaps I will you know go back to a full-time ish job. We'll see. Perhaps I will go back to a full-time-ish job, we'll see. I know I'll continue to be advising and coaching and consulting. It's like who I am. I enjoy it too much. So even if I got another full-time job, I would still be doing this in some capacity and full-time. I think that can be debatable what that means anymore.
Speaker 1:
So what am I talking about? A digital detox. What does this look like? What does this feel like? How do you actually implement this? So, basically, one thing that I've noticed and you've probably noticed this is that these devices, these electronics that we're on, they're meant to grab our attention. I've done a podcast on this about how the most valuable thing we have is our attention, and that devices and media and all this is about pulling our attention to whatever somebody else wants from us. And this digital detox is really about taking your power back and saying the attention, my attention, is going on me and I'm going to put the attention on what's going on inside, and we don't often realize how much innate wisdom, how much clarity there is when we let all of the fluff, all the bullshit, all the nonsense go away. And so this is just really about kind of like you know, just like you would with like a cleansing food detox, where you're just like let's just have, have, have, have some, you know, cayenne pepper and some water for a whole fucking day and just really let some things go and and just see the cravings, see the urges and then see the lightness that results from it. So then it becomes a lot easier to make some more healthier choices with food.
Speaker 1:
Uh, because again, you know, it's the point of this is not to never use electronics ever again. The point of this is not to never use electronics ever again. The point of this is for you to use electronics for your benefit. It's your life and the technology should be serving you, not the other way around. And if you do this, you'll probably find like holy shit, I'm getting run around, I'm doing all of these things, have these emails, these notifications, this and that, and then I'm so stressed out, and what do I do? I go to social media to relax. I go watch TV. I'm then listening to something on an audio player. I'm talking on the phone and it's just like one electronic device to another. And it's like wait, even the relaxation is it really relaxing me? Am I really making progress towards the things that matter to me? So I've got six, six points that I'm going to go through. I should have mentioned they're going to be six points because that would have been a better way to sell the show, but hey, it is. We're getting better every day. I've only been at this for like four fucking years. So I've got, I've got six points. So the high level I'm going to tell you.
Speaker 1:
So the first is about setting aside the time. This is the one that you might have the hardest with, yet we're going to make it easy. The second is letting other people know that you're going to be doing this so that no one's like oh my gosh, are you dead? The third is phones. Phones got to be off or in do not disturb, slash airplane mode, and I'll go into why that's important. Fourth is no other electronics you get. Everything is electronic. So you're probably going to be doing nothing. And the fifth one is is even without electronics, you're probably still going to try to find a way to be busy. So the fifth point is to not do busy work. And then the sixth thing that I'm going to go over is if you're going to do a longer digital detox, some other shit you can do, that's going to go be more important once we go back to okay, what is number one? Setting aside the time, how much time? How much time to get a benefit? So I recommend a minimum, a minimum of four hours, and you're gonna be like, holy shit, justin, four hours, oh my gosh, where am I going to find four hours?
Speaker 1:
Now, if you can't carve out four hours of a day for yourself, for yourself, remember, if you aren't here, nothing else in your life matters. So you are the most important person in your life because it's literally if you die. I just did a life insurance purpose, that's it to purchase. So I really got to understand the importance of life insurance and all that stuff. But you know, without you, a lot goes to shit anyway.
Speaker 1:
So treat this like your life depends on it, because it very well may, like the stress that you might be going through could be having all sorts of impact on your health. You know, from your blood pressure to you know your eating habits, all these things and so, like, look at this as like this is like important for your life. And, yes, other people may depend on you, and chances are these people that depend on you. They care about you and they want you to be healthy and happy and clear, and maybe the more you think that you are needed 24 seven, the happier many of those people might be to have a little break from you, and that might also be one of the things that you don't want to find out is how little is actually needed, and that can be a good thing. It can be a little hit to the ego. It's like wait, there's not going to be all this stuff going on, all these people needing me and, yeah, it means other people are secure and rational and they can take care of themselves, and that's a good thing.
Speaker 1:
So what we're going to get into is the amount of time minimum four hours, right. I highly highly suggest, though, if you can do a full 24 hours, because this is going to include your sleep, to wake up time. Do a full 24 hours and you're just, you're really going to see yourself and your life and where you are hooked in and where you're going to get to those that whole point of like seeing, like, oh my gosh, I have clarity. I am in the driver's seat, I see where I've been getting run around and it's enough. It's enough of that. So, four to 24 hours, okay, you can do the four. The more you can do, just the more beneficial it's going to be for you. Second, so you've made the time You're like I could do from, like you know, 7pm to 11pm.
Speaker 1:
It's like I'm not going to be on the social media, I'm not going to watch my shows, I'm just going to do this digital detox that Justin told me is beneficial, you know. Or it's like I'm going to start at bedtime, I'm going to start at 11 pm and I'm going to go to 11 pm the next night, whatever it is, whatever the amount of time, but lock it in, commit to it and say this is the time, and so, once you have it, before it starts, you let the people that are in constant contact with you you go like hey, I'm doing a digital detox, I'm not going to be available during this amount of time. So this way, there's nobody going like oh my gosh, did they die? Did something happen? Are they sick or do they hate me? Why aren't they getting back to me, you let them know and go like hey, you know, maybe you allow there some way that if there is something absolutely urgent, someone can get in contact with you, whatever, like, maybe they come by something, you'll figure it out, all right, okay, so this is taking care of creating the container for this detox to happen in. So these are the first two points.
Speaker 1:
The third point is to turn the phone off. So turn it. If you can turn it off, great. But if there's a little bit of like, well, this is like my lifeline, what if something goes on? Or da da, da, da, da. You can put in do not disturb and airplane mode, and airplane mode Cause you don't want, cause I know, when I put mine into do not disturb, I sometimes still allow myself to get disturbed cause I go and it's like I checked the phone and that's like, oops, my thumb slipped or whatever, and oh, I see that I have these messages. So if it's an airplane mode, wi-fi off, you're not going to get any messages, even in the do not disturb. So it's very important that your phone is not a vector for distraction anymore and ideally, you know, maybe you set an alarm on the phone for when the time ends, but that's it. It's nothing to do with the phone, nothing, nothing. It's a brick. You're going to be amazed at how long the battery lasts when it's doing nothing. It's going to be amazing. It's going to be fine for 24 hours. You don't have to plug it in.
Speaker 1:
The fourth one is no other electronics. There's so much else electronic. If your power goes out for an extended amount of time, like more than a couple days, when batteries start dying and charges start going, you start to realize like, holy shit, all of my life runs on electricity. And the whole point is you are consciously disconnecting from all this so you can reconnect to yourself, into your you, the ultimate you, not the you of all this ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch, from all the electronics and all these other people that want the piece of you. This is about you getting the whole goddamn, amazing, beautiful thing that is you and it is going to be phenomenal, even though it might be a little challenging at times and we'll maybe get into that at the end.
Speaker 1:
So, no other electronics. That means no computers, no TVs, no music players Like yeah, you might still have an MP3 player lying around. You will start to get desperate. No video game players, no e-readers and I'm going to even say also no electronic transportation as well. So, like you know, don't go anywhere. Basically, the more you can live a monk-like life, for whatever period of time it's going to be, the better it is, because the more you possibly go you might get some electronic stimuli. Like you know, it's like don't go to a coffee shop because they might have the TV on, and it's going to be like you know. And then it's like oh my gosh, this happened in the news. Now I got to your mind is going to try to find any fucking excuse to get you to stop this thing, to do what you've been doing for the rest of your life and to discount the importance of you, and you are not going to let it happen. You are going to prevent all this by cutting out all of this shit for the amount of time you are committed to.
Speaker 1:
The other thing this is point number five no busy work. So you might be like, well, I guess, if I'm going to do this, I could be really efficient and maybe this is the time to clean out my closet, or this is the time to go through that pile of mail, or this is the time to paint that something, something or do some yard work, or no. This is not that. This is not about being productive and other things that you've put off because you were quote unquote too busy for other things. This is about getting busy with yourself, and I'm not talking about playing with yourself in that way, and this is not the time for that either. There's nothing wrong with it. Just this is not the time for that. This is going to be boring. This is going to be. There's going to be some anxiety, yet there's going to be some breakthroughs where you're just like oh my gosh, this is a level of peace I didn't know that I could get to.
Speaker 1:
I have a level of clarity of what I've been doing and what matters and what doesn't. Will it solve all of your problems? No, but will things be a lot easier? Yes, because I know, when I did this, like the next couple of days after, it was just like I had like a mountain of like 400 emails that I hadn't gone through in forever, and I got through all of them in like a few hours because I just knew I'm like that doesn't matter, that doesn't matter. That doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Do you realize how much stuff in your life that you think matters actually doesn't, because it doesn't actually matter to you? Somebody else told you this matters and you somehow fell for it and you allowed yourself to go like, I guess this matters. This period of time is going to let you see through all that bullshit and go this doesn't matter, this doesn't matter. What matters, oh, being able to really settle in and be with someone that I care about, to really like look them in the eye and listen and really hear, feel, understand how they are. That's what really matters. To actually put my time and effort into something that I know is going to improve the world. Ooh, that, yeah, that matters. That's what I want to spend my time on. But a lot of this other, all this you know what's going on over in this part of the world and somebody posted this, that upset so-and-so. Who gives a shit? It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:
The sixth. Sixth point is this is options, for if you're going to do an extended, extended digital detox and I'm talking like greater than 10 hours you got to go more than 10 hours, all right. If you're doing four to nine hours and 59 minutes, you're basically doing nothing. All right, you're sitting there, you're meditating, you're napping. You can, you can nap, that's fine. Yeah, you're staring at yourself in the mirror. You're just being with you. That's the point. You're amazing, you're beautiful, you're worth it.
Speaker 1:
If you're going more than 10 hours, some things that I'll say, like you know can be, can be beneficial. It'd be going for a walk, especially in nature, or going out and sitting in nature and just being just watching. And you might be like, oh, I just I'm in a city. I don't have a lot of nature. You know I'm, I'm near San Francisco, I go there. Even in like the shittiest place, there's usually a tree or a bush. If you stare at a bush, or just one flower or a tree, there is a world going on in there and it can be very, very healing to spend some time and check out that world, because the world of nature is actually part of the world that's going on inside of us. We are part of nature, you know. We're made. We're made up of earth particles. You're just, you're just a. You're just a pile of the food you've eaten accumulated into in your human form. Just thinking about it, yeah, um. So sometimes, sometimes call somebody a pile of shit and there's a little like, yeah, it's kind of true, right, just depends on what.
Speaker 1:
End of the anyway, journaling, because you're going to get some moments of clarity, you're going to get some insights. So, clarity, you're going to get some insights. So, like, write those down Again. Piece of paper and a pen. This is not, you know, open up the journal app on your phone. It's not like you could jump on the computer. No, no, no, this is not. That's not what this is.
Speaker 1:
Those are the six things it's you know. Make sure you set the time aside. Commit six things. It's you know. Make sure you set the time aside. Commit to it four to 24 hours. I mean, if you want to go more, I can go. I'm not going to stop you, but a minimum four hours you can make it happen.
Speaker 1:
If not, you got some major things going on in your life that need to be addressed and address those. And, yeah, like, get those addressed. You should be in a place where, within a week, you can do this, within the week of listening to this podcast. I want to hear you. You can say, like, justin, I'm going to do it, or Justin, I did it, I'd love to hear that.
Speaker 1:
So set the time, let people know, so that they're not like think something bad happened or they hate you or you got people knocking on your door, which, funny enough, actually happened to me the first time I did this recently. It's probably been like a couple, a couple of years Cause I had been going to so many like retreats and things like I'm good, I'm good, but it's like, oh, it's actually been like six, six months since I've gone on a retreat. So a couple of weeks ago I was like I need to do my own digital detox again and so I'm freshly and I've done a second one just this last weekend, but the first one I let all the people I rarely chat with. But I get woken up by a knock at my door and I'm like I didn't order a package because sometimes the delivery people they'll knock on.
Speaker 1:
The knock doesn't sound like that. What knock sounds like? That's more like a chipmunk and anyway, a knock. I don't know if that'll come. Anyway, there's a woman at my door and I was like what's going on? And she's like are we going on a hike? And I'm like I didn't hear from you. It's been a week since I heard from you and she's like it's on my calendar and I'm like get out of here.
Speaker 1:
I was a little bit more polite, but it just this type of you know, I'm not a doctor's appointment, I'm a human. Like we check in because she told me like I'm busy, let's check in later, and she never checked in later, so I was like I'm gonna do a digital detox, um, so, so you don't have you know. So make sure that you've cleared your calendar and possibly other people's calendars so that you can be undisturbed for your digital detox. So that's number. Set the time aside. Tell other people's number. Two, then the phone off or at least in do not disturb and airplane mode. You don't want any messages possibly getting through, because I'll talk about that at the end of this.
Speaker 1:
The fourth is no other electronics. I'll talk about that at the end of this. The fourth is no other electronics. You basically try to live as if it's the 1800s or earlier. Then no other busy work. This is not the time to get stuff done. This is a time to be, be a human being, not a human doing.
Speaker 1:
And then the sixth is, if you're doing more than 10 hours, some other activities that I think you could allow is a little, you know walking time in nature and journaling. Beyond that, this is, you know, old school monk, like boring as fuck, and you are going to experience yourself and there might be some anxiety, there's going to be some tension. It might be like you want to crawl out of your own skin. Breathe that's what I'll say. Like you know, do some techniques from my book or some of these other podcasts, like the I Love Myself Meditation Box. Breathing, just deep breathing, and just recognizing that it will be over. You know it's going to be over. It's a set amount of time that you know.
Speaker 1:
Humans live like this for so, so, so long. This is their default, that if they could do it, you could do it and just remember that you are worth it, that you are worth getting to know and spend time with and to get that clarity. And it's a gift for other people as well, because a more clear, a more calm, a more creative view is so much better to be around. So I really do encourage you to not just be this one of these episodes that you just listen to because I sound good and if you're watching on YouTube, you know I look good. It's like, hey, that's great and all. Thank you, much appreciated. But the point is, I want your life to be good. Can your life be good? Can it be relaxing, while you're having like amazing impact and having connections and experiences? And that's what that's all about. So definitely would like to hear you know are you going to do this, when are you going to do it and did you do it? What was it like? I'd love to hear you know. So comment on the social media at the end of the show. We'll tell you all about how to do that and let's see some other cool stuff.
Speaker 1:
My book Engineered to Love back there a little bit of a glare is one year old already by the time this comes out, so we're going to be putting it up on sale. So the sale should still be going on on Amazon. Should be like 55% off, because it came out May 5th. Why 5?. So 5, 5% off. I'm so clever, yeah, and so hopefully, if you got it, if you already got it, please leave a review, for that Does help, either on Amazon or like someplace that you got the audio books the audio books there too and, yeah, looking to have like a free download available for people to get a taste of the book on engineeredtolovecom, so hopefully that'll be up, but it's going to be a chapter on busting busyness, which would be very appropriate. If this you found this beneficial and you're looking for other ways, it's my bust busyness chapter which has guided audios so that you can like actually like mellow out, chill out, feel better, feel better. Yeah, I feel like my voice is kind of like rough today. It's like like I've been smoking, like yeah, so I'm justin wink. Uh, the book is engineered to love and the cigarette is parliament. So with that, uh, no, this, um, a lot of people ask, meaning nobody asks, but uh, I'm going to answer anyway.
Speaker 1:
Some people wonder, like, why do I sign off with good day? I find it enjoyable and I used to listen to this old radio show. It wasn't really a show but it was like on talk radio, like they'd have these segments as Paul Harvey's, the rest of the story, and you know you'd tell a long story about. You know it's usually somebody that you know came from, you know background. It's like, ah, this person's a nobody, they're not going to do anything, and then, little by little, they do something really amazing. And then it's always and it says and you might better know this person as Bill Gates might better know this person as Bill Gates, and this individual was known to you as Amelia Earhart. And now you know the rest of the story. And then he ends with I'm Paul Harvey, good day. So I always like that ending. And it was, you know, good day. So with that I'm going to end this episode. I'm Justin Wang, phd, and good day.
