Reality Transurfing with Nida Kazmi Episode 5

We go long form interview in this episode with our first guest, Nida Kazmi! We talk about working with world famous communication genius Michael Bernoff and then dive into how to get what you want the easy way with Reality Transurfing by Vadim Zeland. Find Nida on Instagram at ExponentialYou.

Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail podcast@justinwenck.com. Remember to subscribe so you don't miss the next episode! Then connect with me at  JustinWenck.com, Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn!

Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!

Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!

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Transcript

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Justin:   0:01
Did I start the show?

Nida:   0:03
Yeah.  

Justin:   0:04
Welcome to the engineering emotions and energy podcast. I'm your host, Justin Wink. And you did hear another voice Because today we have a special guest, Nida Kazmi She's on the show today to talk about the book Reality Tran Surfing by Bottoms. Ellen. So we get into that and a whole lot of other things. Enjoy the show. I don't know if I've started the show yet. Our way banter a little

Nida:   0:32
bit basically did start the show.

Justin:   0:34
Did I start the show? Yeah, well, just have to record like an intro and make it make it appropriate so

Nida:   0:40
Well, I always used to use these like little pregame conversations as, like, the pre audio to my intro. No. Yeah, something funny. And then my intro and then like, the content

Justin:   0:55
And was the last time you did your podcast. Oh,

Nida:   0:57
God. Taking me back to o days. I think it was 2015

Justin:   1:03
sometimes if you and started in 14 then not through 50. Ozal

Nida:   1:08
20 started the setup in 14 maybe and then did it all in 15 and then maybe did some interviews in 16. Like on other people's shows. And then I just stopped. Man,

Justin:   1:21
just had enough of that party live.

Nida:   1:23
Ah, as you know, I love talking. What? What? Hey,

Justin:   1:34
based on, you know, when we met, which was at least five years ago now, I was not a big talker. So usually if there was a friendship or anything to be formed, the other person had enjoyed talking usually. So,

Nida:   1:46
yeah, I and I And I don't quite recall how we maintained our friendship. And since we met first in April of 2014 I know because that's my first corps event with Michael and how we maintain that friendship. I don't know, but I know that I've always loved talking. And over the years, like, yes, I've decreased some of it, depending on the situation. Like I don't create unnecessary conversation or people I don't want to talk to or who don't want to talk to me. Um, but I really, really, really, really love interviewing people. I love getting curious in an interview format, and I'm very, very good at moderating a conversation. Which is why I'm a project manager. Like try running a project with 50 people. Look, turn a talk in one meeting.

Justin:   2:39
You gotta love to talk and have the ability to talk when you need to. Because they won't necessarily allow you the space at certain times in certain meetings. And yeah, for those U. S. Unit is referring to Michael burn off. Ah, amazing. I mean, what do you describe other than he's like Tony Robbins, but with a smaller head? How do you describe what Michael does?

Nida:   3:01
It's any Robin that's swallowing it. Anybody taller than Tony Robbins? That's how he described himself. Uh, once, I think, in a joking way. But I want to say, like, Michael is a performance strategist and it can be through communication. It can be through learning how to do sales, which is really just communication. Um, it can be howto get into better health and better business and better relationships and all of that. This communication surprise. Yeah,

Justin:   3:34
he's definitely big on everything is communication. Communication is everything. And he is a master communicator, both with people and within people, which I know you get.

Nida:   3:47
Yes, I do get that, um at a level that hits close to home because I often buying myself again like mediating a man environment or are mitigating or mediating. And even if that means I'm not talking, which happens 85% of the time in my meetings for work as a project manager, like it's funny enough, like as a project manager, I don't actually get to talk very much because you bring the point is you bring on experts to tell you what needs to be done, and then you can kind of go back and say, All right, well, you do this and you do that, Um, but somehow, oddly enough, when you put together five or more people like they need direction on how to move the conversation. So, Michael, that's pretty much the same. But, um, not just within groups of people and events, but within yourself, within different parts of you. And then he murders them all together in tow, something I find that's more coherent than that person might have felt before. But in themselves.

Justin:   4:55
Yeah, you're talking about the different parts, and we recently didn't exercise about talking different parts of ourselves. You didn't actually do the exercise, but you facilitated that, which is another one of your amazing abilities, which is that of a connector. Sort of bringing people together to make the right things happen in the right ways and bases this really cool exercise. I'm probably have Ah, Minnie is the one that actually did the exercise with me. Interview him at some point it over some plaid or or something else. And basically, and about ah, 15 20 minutes, tops had me have a completely different outlook on how to sell causes. Ah, engineer, like selling is has historically not been something that I've been comfortable with or get a lot of practice with and have a bunch of shit in my garage that I want to eventually sell so I can have a clean garage and I can have money. And about 15 20 minutes, he got me over that. And today I sold my my old cell phone. Got $130 straight

Nida:   5:59
cash. Yeah, And that was what, like not even three whole days ago? Yeah, yeah,

Justin:   6:08
yeah. So you kind of you'd only make magic happen your own life, but the lives of others, which I think we didn't want to talk about reality. Tran surfing, I believe, was the main topic. We wanted a get into.

Nida:   6:22
Listen, you are speaking about my favorite kind of jam out there. My favorite flavor. China's raspberry line is Rose Jam. And if if I were to ever in my life gets so damn lucky, it would be a jam in the flavor of a mouth refresher We have back in my country called on p double O l a n and they say I'm gonna cut the story short But I do want to talk about my favorite jam wishes this Take this betel nut leaf and bill and this version of his little slather Baros jam inside of there and like, um, fennel seeds that air, like sometimes plain or like sugar coated. And they'll have, like, other like refreshments, like Mindy pieces of you take the all of the stuff in there. You wrap up the betel leaf and you eat it and you've got a whole mouth refresher. Basically,

Justin:   7:16
I'm still stuck at just this concept of a mouth refresher that that is definitely Ah, you're not from around here, type of ah, type of a phrase.

Nida:   7:25
Well, like it's like, ah Altoid, but like you can chew on it. Okay, Okay. Yeah, a little good old, uh, hometown home country, things that you don't get over here.

Justin:   7:39
I I would try that once. I will usually try anything once unless there's something that I decided when I was a child that I don't like. Then amazing. I still often will not still not want to try it or I try it and I end up hating it, which reconfirms that I should just not try stuff that I decided as a child. I don't like to eat.

Nida:   7:59
Yeah, and and so to take it back to reality Tran surfing, right? Like when you were a child. And then even I have talked about this that, you know, when I was a kid and it's like definitely he remembers it very clearly when he was a kid, he could just make Hasn't engines come alive within moments? Like, I remember, I could think something, and I remember the specific example is like I was driving in the car on the passenger side with my brother and look out the window and I was like, Hey, hey, bro, there's gonna be a yellow dog that's just gonna run by And what? What would happen if that happened. And he is like, You never know whatever you think comes true and literally a yellow lab cut like, yeah, l A lab just runs by on the sidewalk, and I like I remember as a kid going whoa! Like I can do this. And money had a very similar capability. Like he, he said it was so easy because he had no attachments tied to the outcome. He would think it and it would happen like moments hours, days later, depending on the magnitude of whatever he wanted. And, ah, as adults like, we keep trying that word that Michael hates like the trying to get back to that or find that again.

Justin:   9:28
Yeah. Master Yoda, I believe, also hated the term try. There is no try. There's only do believe it is for the Star Wars fans. And what I find really interesting is that when you're saying that is, you know, I'm thinking back to being a kid, there's there's no just this will happen. But there's no well, it'll happen in this way, whereas, you know, if we take the program manager hat on it, it's like, Well, how many people are gonna be around when the dog is there. And how long? What's the schedule of the dog running into the scene? And there is a being a coming up with so much of how it happens that even if it happens, But if it didn't happen in the exact way, did it even really happen? And that's kind of how I know I often think. And I believe a lot of other adults get in the habit of like, Well, it has to. But when you're a kid, you don't know how stuff happens. So you can't have this preconceived notion of how it should happen. You just go. It'll happen and then is you're talking about harmony was like, Yeah, maybe it took an hour, maybe two minute me. It took a week or a Nen tire month. It eventually happened, whereas enough for myself, I get fucking impatient. I want it, I want it now or I want it when I put it on the calendar.

Nida:   10:44
That's a great one, actually, I want it now. When I put it on the calendar, Dammit, I wanted what I wanted the way I want it. I don't even know the way that I want it. Okay.

Justin:   10:55
So, So restrictive. Yeah.

Nida:   10:58
Yeah, And I You know. So for people who are listening, they probably are wondering, Like, what? Where the fuck are you guys even coming up with all this from, Like, what? What is reality Tran surfing. So I know I have my definition of it and which I'll explain in a second. What's yours?

Justin:   11:15
Well, I'm gonna go with start with the, uh the definition of it's It's a book by of Adam Zelen That you can order There is. I believe there's a Kindle version that's that I have no net. I think you have every version possible. There's even ah, somebody recorded it And it's on, I think YouTube video that you could listen to Yep, originally written in Russian. And I believe only books one through five are available in English, and I don't know how many books there are, so you don't get the the the intro into reality. Tran surfing effectively, but even just that it can be transformative. If you read it, study it and apply it. And to me, I look at it. It's a It's a model for how the world works. That is dramatically different than the commonly accepted model of work really, really hard. And if you work hard enough and go through enough pain, you'll eventually get what you want. Um, which, which she eventually talks about? Ah, has a name for that. How that, uh, kind of works ish, but it's not. It's not fun,

Nida:   12:27
you know, Uh, so my perspective of this book is that it's it's all about. Ultimately, the book is about quantum mechanics, and that subject title alone will make anybody be like what? Like what? A dry ass subject And like, What do you want to learn from this? And whether you understand it is quantum physics, which it's not, you know, the first reaction would be like, Oh, my God, like that's dense shit like that does not sound like fun or whether you actually understand it as quantum mechanic, um, mechanics. Ah, the subject has been so elusive, so vague, so intangible. And so, um, in translatable so so unrelated Balto like your own life that I think most people shy away from it, never having understood it at all, it's kinda reminds me of like back in the old old days, like I want to say, like maybe 15 hundreds. Don't quote me on it. Um, when they when the cellar settlers first found out about potatoes, they would eat them raw, and then some of them would get sick, maybe even die of it. So people didn't eat potatoes for a really long time until they figure it out like you gotta cook him. Yeah, right. So as a very simple technique, if you just cook him, they're awesome. And I love potatoes. So I couldn't like, never could wrap my head around physics visits class for sure. When I would hear about quantum mechanics that I was like, What the hell's this? And then I remember one day I was in Arizona, which has always been a magical place for me. Every time I come down, something magical happens for me there and my friend Jeremy Jackson's house, Um, and he had this book lying around, and it's just it's that moment. Like, I talked about the beginning. The shell, like something like, You've been doing something over a course of time and just clicks right and, ah, I have been doing Michael's stuff for probably like by two years, by that time at least, and really gotten a much better clear understanding our pre preface, if you will, of quantum mechanics based on other things that aren't called quantum mechanics. Like like morally spirituality.

Justin:   14:42
Yeah, there's a lot of I don't have their philosophies, ways of living, New Age woy stuff that will use way quantum physics work as, ah, stepping stone into Ah, a lot of lot of spiritual practices. Yeah,

Nida:   14:58
exactly. Uh, but even, like even that stuff, you will see it in so many mediums that your mind will start to art. Least my mind translated it as, like different different languages, like different structures. Different things different, Thea like ideologies. So I was never able to develop a cohesive grand picture off any of it that made complete sense to me. And I'm someone who likes to understand the whole thing. Like I don't want, like, just a bite of the damned. You know, chicken, Like I want the whole weighing on the whole leg. Like I want the whole understanding of it Because

Justin:   15:40
you want the big breast. You want the big chicken

Nida:   15:42
breast. I want the big chicken past. Oh, my God. with all the crunchy toppings. Ah, and so it's because it's not until you get the whole piece that you can utilize it most effectively. So Reality Tran surfing ultimately all it is is just It takes the whole picture and puts it into a book for you. Is the book a little bit big? Yeah. Is it danced? No, it's actually very easy reading Some of the chapters might take a minute to like Capital Thinkin. Yeah,

Justin:   16:20
it's certain, Very conversationally. Ah, pretty fun. And then he does sort of repeat himself. But because it is concepts that maybe they don't hit exactly right the first time. And he's later Shaft, you're like, Oh, now I Now I really get it. I thought I got it, but I didn't quite get it. I was missing a little. Sometimes it's the smallest change. Makes the biggest difference on what you actually get.

Nida:   16:46
Yeah, and the entire message of the book can be summed in tow, like two words that I like to call not neutral. And don't confuse that with ah

Justin:   17:01
Oh, net neutrality. Yeah, cast of your horizon. This We're not getting political on this show or not. Yeah, here for corporate sponsorship. That last segment was brought to you by Popeye's Chicken. Popeye's Louisiana's finest? No, just no sponsors on this show.

Nida:   17:22
Not yet. Not yet. Uh,

Justin:   17:24
contact Justin Wink at Justin week dot com.

Nida:   17:28
Yeah, s o not neutral. What that means is just like we were talking about when we were kids. Like we didn't really have any attachment to the outcome were like, I want that, Yeah, I like what would happen if the yellow dog passed by and Yellow Dog passed by. And that's just the way it was. And there are other things, too, that I remember predicting and they would just happen like other things that I couldn't possibly have, Like predicting that, like my aunt, who was about to have coins, that she would have, um, one twin who would be very fair, and one who would be like more Oliver darker toned. And I even knew what side which baby was on. Um, and it turned out to be exactly that way when they were born. And it was

Justin:   18:09
that's why I'll say so. There was a time of your life. Were basically you were living reality. Tran surfing with the sort of net neutral way of being. And then I take it you you forgot. And what were some things that maybe you weren't net neutral on looking back where

Nida:   18:30
it's not

Justin:   18:30
decided. All right. Ah, it's time for something to me. Most people don't come across reality Tran surfing because ah, life is great and getting better every single day of the week,

Nida:   18:41
huh? Yeah, exactly. Right. Uh, I don't know that it, like I was always neutral, but it's others perceptions that they stick on to you. Others rules others ideologies, other's fears. Others criticisms that cloud and get in your way of being neutral. I do want to impart and impress actually, more correct word impressed the fact that you are everything when you're born, you are everything. So the struggle or the challenge and the work really is more of a design tick back to yourself not to become something more right because of all of those things that were added to you are the things that dragged us down. We had powers, we had powers like I don't even remember watching my girlfriend's kids that, like, edge to our one and you see him like, run around going crazy and, like a sugar high, whatever. And awesome that, like, stopped dead in their tracks. And they just, like, hold a pose for minutes at a time, staring into what looks like dead space. And without fail, I'd ask him when they snap back. And Ben? Julie! Hey, where'd you go? They have been traveling. They had whole stories for me. They were literally, like, what's known in the metaphysical Rome as astral projecting. And try asking one of those kids, huh? Just to get there. What do you do? How'd you get there? How do you come back? How do you choose those are important questions.

Justin:   20:26
Well, they weren't trying, though, right? That's I mean, kind of going back to where we were. They they just let it happen. They were, Yeah, they weren't trying to be present. And they were trying to get anywhere just somewhere. And, um, I guess they were struck and boom. Gonna having adventures. Who knows where

Nida:   20:46
I was in Virginia. I live in New York now. Says a virgin a couple weeks ago for Christmas and hanging out with my singing teacher just already. I would say a very vibrational environment because there's very good energy with all the same thing going on. This little girl, she's three years old. She comes up to me. It does not know me. I'm just straight up starts talking. And she's like, I was a grown up and before and I had a lot of makeup. But now my kid again and I learned how to grow again. Those were her words. And I asked you a couple questions about, like what? That life was like, what her name was she had. She had an answer for everything. Okay, where her name was Whatever. And even if someone tells me Oh, come on, like there's a level of intelligent creativity here as well. I'm like, Yeah, but still look how easy it was to her to say, like, this was my name. This is what I did. And I was like a makeup or like, you know, that was my jam. Like, that was my thing. And so the idea really is whatever it is that we want. And I practiced this in my adult. It also is to find a way Thio want something more for yourself, but not be attached to the outcome, not be attached. Thio. How you get it and not be attached to the specificity of it. Because I have asked for things like, for example, my husband. I wrote a four page note about exactly ever quality of one of my husband.

Justin:   22:27
How about how long ago was this? Because I kind of remember, I think the time when there's a couple of years ago now.

Nida:   22:34
So the first time I wrote it was in 2016 and then four days later I met somebody, but I wasn't specific enough about a certain like I wasn't clear about our particular important piece of it. So

Justin:   22:49
when you're taking the order at the Denny's, you've got to be really clear about what you want on the Grand Slam. Do you want the eggs scrambled already? Want him over easy? It's 2 a.m. Folks like the way. It's just that she's got a lot going on. You got to be super super clear.

Nida:   23:04
Exactly exactly, um and and so I realize that I'm talking about specificity, but I'm also talking about like, general thing that you have to be clear about, like obviously if you're looking for a partner like you'd want to write down important things like Hey, there in the particular age bracket. Or they're the fact that they're single and not like already attached, just like you want to find somebody who's amenable and able to come into our welcome you into their life. So it's

Justin:   23:33
important. Make sure you specify. But sometimes some things aren't as important as we as we think. Like I had a list of things I wanted in a partner. And then I met Ah, Alexa who, you know, I just married and in May, and she definitely broke a couple of rules. It was the ah, there was the age she was under my age range and ah, I think I had already gotten rid of the education requirement because, ah, some with the PhD there's there's there's not a lot of ah fellow doctors or even Masters Havers out there that got their heads screwed on straight. So the fact that she had a bashers was a delightful, delightful

Nida:   24:12
wow. So, yeah, that's exactly exactly what I mean. And so the first time I rode at four days later, like I come across this person and, you know, it took me a while to get out of that. But, um, it it wasn't the right. It wasn't the right ask. And then Amber and I my our friend and my longtime friend through Michael's events. Amber, she and I rewrote it in 2018. But, like, I think closer to Paul or summer somewhere around there and within the month, I believe, is when I met my husband in September. Like it.

Justin:   24:51
So the less less than a year eight.

Nida:   24:54
No. So if I so no, no, I was less than one month's. Okay? Yeah, less than it. Less less than a month. Because I wrote the document and the number of her own version of it. And when I met my husband, um, I have reviewed that document over and over a couple of times since we allow it's been, Ah, you're in someone's and we're married now. What's fascinating to me is that everything that was truly important, it exists in him. Everything that I didn't even know that I needed and is important for me also exists in him pieces that I didn't even write in the paper. Everything that was unimportant on DDE I don't actually want or need that was written down is not in him. And so there's a part of me that, like, you know, just gets curious about the whole thing, because I do remember, First of all, I we hashed it out like very thoroughly Amber and I, and then I just let it go. At that time, I didn't keep looking at it At that time. I didn't keep looking for that. Those qualities And let's say somebody I saw on TV or somebody I met in person, I let it go.

Justin:   26:07
Yeah, you just started living your life.

Nida:   26:10
Yeah, yeah, it was kind of like Okay, I put it on paper like there's literally no more to be said about it. And it is what it isn't like. God knows if it's even real or if it's even possible. And what I was delivered within weeks was a person who, far far Expedia exceeded the possibility in my mind of how great a person could be for me. Yeah, in a relationship, and so that that particular time in my life, because I was practicing neutrality with with you guys, we were reading the book chapter by chapter in reviewing it every week. That particular time from in my life, I met my husband at the same time that suddenly I got this incredible job at this incredible company that I'm still working with I'm working for And I got featured on the front page of CNN like out of the blue random like, had no clue. I didn't even know until somebody message me saying, Hey, like you're on the front page of CNN and I got an offer saying and and like all of this, like to the point where we're I was overwhelmed, I didn't know what the fuck did who with all of it happening at the same time. And I think that's part of like another Blinder that people don't aren't aware of their life, that they want all of these great all of this greatness in their life. But they're unprepared to handle the consequence.

Justin:   27:47
Yeah, because yeah, being somewhat famous on CNN, even if it's just ah, one or two days, I'm sure you've got a lot more activity through your e mails and contacts and other stuff and O r. What do you mean?

Nida:   28:02
Well, So there is that. I mean, it It was great. Like there was a lot of it was like I like a lot of it. A lot of it was people saying I I always knew l always knew this about like, I always believed in this bit about you Not the least bit surprised That felt really good. Not people affirm that. Okay, um but at the same time, it was happening When I've met this great person and, you know, they're CNN thing is happening about. So there's an expectation that people have of you while there's an expectation that you have a view like Oh, my God. I was featured on CNN like Hado. I maximize this.

Justin:   28:43
Yeah. I mean, do you have your your brand down And you Are you ready to launch something and monetize? And you know what it is, you click funnel. I'll set set to go. And you know what? Do you have the cross marketing print like Baba Baba boy? Yeah, like

Nida:   28:57
you literally like everything that you just said reminded me of my disappointment and myself at the time. Like like oh my God. Like you had this great platform an opportunity and you have nothing prepared for it. You blew it. That's literally That's well, their door. Did you, like, just right? Just enjoy

Justin:   29:14
it like it's fucking cool. Why can't that be be enough? Like so, um ah, the guy that sits, Ah, the cube across from me. Ah, he had one of his kids in. And afterwards, there's Ah, like a metal that's is hand drawn rainbow colors And it says my dad's a winner because he goes to work.

Nida:   29:37
Oh,

Justin:   29:37
and I'm just like, yeah, maybe maybe we've set the bar just a little bit too, too high because, you know, to a kid like, just what? Just having job and go, And that's that's a win like, can't you? Just being on CNN, period? Be a win. And so often, for many of us, it's not even even though that is amazing. It's amazing how we can turn any great thing into a failure.

Nida:   30:03
Exactly. That's what I mean is like people. So So the one thing I managed to dio was at the time, I couldn't keep any of it private accept my relationship, and I I kept it so private that most members of my family didn't know I was getting married and told like maybe a couple of weeks before the wedding, And that was like the Max Max that they that they got. And most people didn't even know that we got married until after the fact. And I couldn't have been more delighted because, of course, to when something so grand happens for you, you want to protect it. And that's another piece of it. Like when you have something cooking you don't wantto like. Let go the steam too fast you want you want everything to turn out perfection so there's parts and pieces it,

Justin:   30:53
so I want to go back to you. Ultimately live in net neutrality. Just sometimes other stuff gets, but is this is a case where other stuff started getting put on top of that perfectly clean glass of net neutrality. Because now you're talking about perfection, you don't want to ruin it. And

Nida:   31:13
no, no, no, no perfection like you, you have something great that's given to you like a gift. And what your instant, at least my instinct was to protect that you don't want to, you know, like I never ever went around on social media talking about Oh my God! Like the state and that date and my great man. And like all things like, I just never talked about my husband until after we got married. Yeah, firstly, firstly, because I had had it up to here with people's opinion.

Justin:   31:43
I just put her hand above her head. For those of you listening, I, um well, I want to introduce the concept of importance that is brought up in reality. Tran surfing with which is this where that if you put too much importance on anything, it becomes very, very charged. And if something's too charged than the universe effectively wants to eliminate that charge by some means necessary and get you back. Thio get you and the whole universe back. Tow net net neutral. So in some ways, it's not. Ah, form of putting too much importance on it.

Nida:   32:23
I felt like it was the exact opposite because so the reason I waited and talk about it when I was saying I've had it up to, you know, here with people's opinions into their reflection, from their own perspective into your relationship, and it changes your perspective. It adds spheres and issues, possibly or maybe even rose tinted percent. Perceptions were none was needed. And so I wanted this to be just him and I and just us getting to know each other. But also, if it's just him and I, then there's no importance being put on it. It's just like I'm not. I wasn't What's the word? I wasn't complimenting him to you guys. I wasn't selling him to you guys basically or anybody else, for that matter. I end. That was the first time that, like my cousin, for example, I used to tell them about anybody and everything. If nobody else, it was the first time or I told him like there's this guy. I'm not gonna say anything because I don't need anybody's approval.

Justin:   33:27
Yeah, and this might be where they're is a definite difference between what a woman brings up a topic with a group of people, versus if a man brings up a topic with a group of you, because I know back when I was single in dating you, if I bring up any anybody I'm dating or seeing, it's usually more or less like cool or the good is not there isn't. There's no like, Well, you should do this or, Well, she's not like that. Or what are you doing with that person or Well, make sure they do that. Is that none of that? Just kind of like, OK, sure, it's That doesn't really matter if it was, you know, a guy friend, a girlfriend, my mom or my mom's got no opinion on anything. That's a whole other show. Um, but

Nida:   34:12
you'll remember that I had an opinion before he got married, but it was It was a watch out, and it was like, Hey, I noticed this all good, and you're, like, all good. Okay, Yeah, but that's that's something that you do want from a friend, Of course, of course. Like, don't get me wrong like, yeah, that's freaked out too.

Justin:   34:33
Well, well thought out, deep friendship type stuff. And I was just more talking about your your more surface level like you until somebody at the gas station this checking the other. Yeah, me, I get a call. Did. But yeah, right with you, It's like, well, you know, is he you know, good or that are like, you really should, you know, probably do your hair a little different or

Nida:   34:55
Yeah, we're off. Yeah, Yeah. And it's not just about relationships. Part of it's about like, Oh, And by the way, all these stories that I'm telling is, you know, when you tell people gotta be neutral about it, how you like, the next question people have is how do you become neutral? Like, what does that actually mean? It does something to us because we've been doing it. We know like we know when we're not joining, you know how to do it. But part of the reason for these stories is learning how to be self dependant in self reliant and to trust your own decision making capability. And do not let other opinions affect you because that's where you start breaking down urine and disintegrating your ability to be neutral, right? To be neutral actually requires more strength than being opinionated.

Justin:   35:47
Oh, yeah? Well, after the strength to well, one be aware of how you are with different situations with their guards to what it is you're want. And then, based on that, you have to be strong enough to do something about it. If you recognise up, I'm not be a neutral in placing too much importance on this. I'm wanting this too bad or I'm wanting it in a certain way. I My favorite analogy that he uses is that anything you do in life should have as much importance as going and checking the mail. Like if you go and check the mail and it's not there, you don't freak out and start crying like, Where is the letter? You just go. Ah, the mailman's little late today. He'll be there later, and you go a few hours later and even it's still not. There you go. It's probably on holiday and you checked. It's just not a big deal if it's there or it's not. But you know it's gonna be there eventually.

Nida:   36:41
Yeah, let's. That's exactly it, Um, and so I think what you and I have been really lucky to be able to do over the last 70 years, this to, like, you know, you were talking about me bringing the magic into people's lives, and I I truly believe that you know, no one can bring any magic to anyone unless that person wants it for themselves. So you had to have seen or heard something I said and say, man, I really want that for myself. Are, at the very least, I want to see what that can do for me. I hear what she's saying, what it did for her, him. But I want I want to see what it might do for me. And you've tried many a thing in front of my own eyes. And some of them did this still resonate with you. But many of its many of it has many of those things on. You have implemented them. And you've really worked hard to discuss it with me or money Or some, you know, one of your friends to figure out how to make it work for you. Yeah. And you've reaped the benefits, like, over and over and over.

Justin:   37:44
Oh, yeah, You gotta want it. And you have to take the step. The mail is not gonna check itself. You got to go outside or out the door wherever your mail is and try and get it. And if it didn't work, you got to try again. But you gotta want it. You you don't want the mail. It's not gonna I'm not gonna open up the door and bring it to your bed while you're sitting there. Sleep and

Nida:   38:05
no, Yeah, no. And I mean you are right in the fact that I, too love I love bringing that magic two people. And it's a very small percentage that I get to see people like who will take advantage of it. And I'm sure there's a lot of spiritual leaders who experience that where they have huge big magic on. They're trying to impart it with people. And so the occasions that I get to see people who like, revel and experience the magic for themselves. I think that's probably the happiest times that I have in my in my sense of accomplishment or sense of, like value, of seeing that share sharing and someone else's life. And so let's let's let's think about like, what are some other things that we've accomplished through neutrality so we can work back Like how we got there, huh? You

Justin:   38:57
gotta pick just one. Uh, well, i'll go with one. Um, I'll go with basically physical physical appearance and health. So basically the last six months of 2019 I got myself into a phenomenal shape by finally getting really consistent with putting the right types of food into my body. That's kind of the what? The exact stuff is something up I have on Ah, future podcast, cause I could probably go for hours and hours going way. What I don't Why? How I put it into my brain that, like I barely drink alcohol anymore. It's just poison to me, stuff like that. Um, but that's something that I I know I had done a coaching session with you. I can't remember was a couple of years ago now, where What kind of went through? Sort of visualizing how I would be and how I would act and Abu Dhabi. Damn, but really the way you help me paint the picture of how I would appear and how it would be that's how I am basically now I think, even complete with the beard and the longer hair like it's it's pretty fucking scary. So, uh, you know, some of the best money spent work. We're going with you there,

Nida:   40:17
Which is funny now that you look back at it because it was basically helping you like you did it. You did the work. You created yourself. And then you did the work afterwards to get to here. Yeah, but I mean, at the time, maybe it wasn't as apparent to you. But now that we're here like, Oh, my God, it was you the whole time. It's always been you. Yeah. Yeah, And so that's and I'm sure that Michael and Tony Robbins like they get the same kind of jolly's like when they see that happen to people and like like I know and I've experienced firsthand like Michael's and I love that he teases me about it, but like how he spent five years, how long about five year long intervention on me to get me to a certain point in like and I given the number of times he talked about, I was like, Okay, like, I think he's a bit delighted that he he got somebody there.

Justin:   41:10
Yeah, because somebody there's got to be so many people that show year after year after year, and it just like they show up. But they're they're not getting it. And that's

Nida:   41:20
why it's

Justin:   41:20
not. Everybody's turned right.

Nida:   41:22
Yeah, it's not. Everybody's turned all the time and people get what they want. Okay, literally, and I and I, I would like to expressly exclude people in horrific conditions. They did not cause that upon themselves. But I'm saying, generally speaking, people who are miserable or wanting of something in the life there, people get what they want. And so ah, same four events. Same for people who are going through, you know, repeated situations that they dislike and can't imagine likewise keeps happening to them like like you don't see it, but getting what you want.

Justin:   42:01
That is so true because this morning I return to my work gems. They they offer classes. And so eight months ago I stopped going. I started going to, Ah, another private gym where I paid a good chunk of change. That really helped me get into the shape I wanted to be in, and I'll be damned. It's been eight months later, but I show up this morning and there's five people there and four of them are the exact same people. They look the exact same. They have the exact same actions, exact same abilities and exact same complaints. I'm just like, Wow, it's like nothing changed in eight months because if they're out where they're at and that's that's where they wanna be. It's not bad enough to do something and they don't want something good enough. Bad enoughto make a change. Andi, I was just like I now know that I know what I want. Bad enough that I can I can be in this. I can be in this group and get what I want out of it. But I know not everybody can do that. A lot of people get in that environment and they will kind of assimilate. So we have the Borg assimilates people into the robotic way of doing things, and they will just hand her that Well, you know, it's hard. So I'm not gonna try that hard. And, uh, is Wednesday gonna be difficult? Maybe I shouldn't even show up on Wednesday because this is gonna be hard. Do you want

Nida:   43:21
t o preemptively deciding?

Justin:   43:26
Yeah, it was It was like a new assault on my spirit. In some ways,

Nida:   43:30
E I know exactly the feeling, and I think one of these side effects that people don't maybe articulate very well or articulate enough is that when you start to experience these things like you're not you're talking about and you understand. Okay, this is how these things work. And I What I What I'm really trying to say is that this is how the universe like functions. Okay, the more I know, the more I accomplished through it, the less I want to engage and interact with other people, like I understand completely why? But Dean, for example, writes this book and becomes a recluse all. But you know, he's extremely, extremely rare to get a hold of it very challenging, um, and most partial leaders to There's very, very few of special leaders that we can act like or actually in the public eye. And they're dedicated to doing a damn near impossible job. And it requires in nearly indispensable level of energy, um,

Justin:   44:38
and those that are kind of in the public eye or deal with the Tony Robbins sad gurus. They kind of interact in a very certain way to sort of protect themselves. I'm guessing

Nida:   44:52
that, but you know, also too, travel the amount that they dio too patiently explained over over like like, millions of times, over and over, year after year, a month after month. We got to be exact same shit. It doesn't change the same thing. It requires an intention with, like a level of magnitude like magnitude that's just, like, incomprehensible, like I do not personally have the energy for that. So you know, when

Justin:   45:24
do you have? Do you have the personal vision that would require that energy? Yet

Nida:   45:30
that's a very interesting thing to say, and I could take it back to the

Justin:   45:34
no. I though I and

Nida:   45:38
I don't write because I asked because I questioned myself on this. I'm like, You can't say that you can't because if you really wanted to, you could like you could just be that I'm like And then I go back to that personality type thing that we learned, not like not like that is not who I am. It's not where I thrive. Like maybe these people have a calling that helps him thrive doing that. But I I thrive when I talk to people like you about things like this, and if I can help you or someone else or myself through this conversation, move a millimeter ahead an inch ahead, like by God, that makes my day my week, my year like that is what makes me happy. But these conversations are much more concentrated, like there's very, very scarce population. Who wants to discuss this or who wants to move ahead? And and sometimes there's like a limit to it. Like, What are you trying to get at? Ultimately, like nothing. This, like, literally. Do you want to disappear off the planet? Like what's What's you're level? Um, are you content to just manifest as much as you need to? Just like lift content, Lee. And like I decided, I like I'm dying of curiosity to know, Like, what is the dean doing? What the fuck is he manifesting like? What is he transfer fing, you know?

Justin:   46:53
Right? Yeah. So maybe he's maybe just blissed out somewhere else and which I have heard is it is it could be a trap where you just get all wrapped in tow. Not being here, that you just go elsewhere.

Nida:   47:08
Yeah, All the reality transfer fee doesn't talk about not being here. It talks about, like, how how you get they're from here. And why sometimes when we want to go from, like, one situation to an extreme situation. Like why that's such a massive like literally, mathematically Or, um, gonna quantum way explaining, like why that's a huge leap and what kind of consequences there are, like what kind of work requires to move from, Let's say, being like a nobody Thio being the world's most famous movie star. Yeah, that's a quantum leap across, like many, many like neighborhoods. If you like states countries, it's like it's like a big move, Um, and it comes with its own set of consequences.

Justin:   47:58
Yeah, and he doesn't really good job is sort of explaining how you can get those quantum leaps in the easier way, the hard ways, the dub C I believe inner intention, which is the standard way of I'm just gonna work really hard, buckled down. You're gonna sacrifice going to suffer, whereas the my opinion smarter, funnier, Easier way is where you let outer intention and that's required to be in that state that what we've been talking about of, you know, net neutrality and then also so you you have your intention. But it's not just a mental intention. You have to have your heart has to be in it. And do you Do you remember a good explanation of the heart being in it. And I've been reading some Dr Joe Dispense lately and he talks about sir the coherence between the brain and the heart and has he has meditations that get, you know, that state. And then you could sort of set your intentions. And people have basically miraculous, you know, healings of their body and manifesting what they want. Or just life gets a little easier that it's that heart intention that because it's really has to be felt. And that's something I haven't really come up with a good way to explain. I do. You have a good feeling of that or what have you found? Or

Nida:   49:23
now I don't think that I've developed enough knowledge around that subject to explain it any more clearly than you did. And I think you did a fantastic job. Uh, but on Lee, it's all that that information is always on Lee. As good as people can, um, take action on it in a tangible way.

Justin:   49:43
Yeah, and in some ways, with this, it's it's easier to know when you're not doing it. It's, you know, so if you're getting upset or frustrated or angry, that that ain't it. It's It's usually you gotta have a positive emotion associative. OK, I think it's coming to me. It's You want to be feeling gratitude or love or joy as you're thinking about doing what you're doing. If there's Ah, like I was taking too fucking long and ah, these people would get out of my way, I get what I want. It's it's it's That's the inner intention that is banging your head against the wall. Life's gonna be hard, but if it's like I get to meet all these people along the way, it's gonna be an adventure. I'm so grateful that I have the opportunity, even try to do something like this. That's that's when your your heart's in the right place and your mind is in the right place.

Nida:   50:36
Yeah, I believe that. And I you know, I think about it. I'm like, Okay, like, Well, let's just say like weave, master, let's assume we've mastered the art of a manifestation. Do I really want to be like a famous movie star like No, not really like that. The whole shit kind of like invasion of privacy and a responsibility. I don't want what I want to be like a well known figure or CEO. Our president like no, like again. Like what? The feeling that I'm going for is none of those things. Like ultimately, what I want is peace and happiness. Yes. So I'm just gonna go for that feeling. And I like a simple example of that, for example, would be, um so you as you know, like So I moved to New York and department that I was in, like I just couldn't stand it like nothing. And while I felt like it was going right, I have

Justin:   51:26
a vibe of the place was not working like you said. Even the people had, like,

Nida:   51:31
a two year old girl unanimously that people of the building except the concierge who did not live there, just had a weird, like, really negative. I like, really, really root. And I remember when I would do like my meditation, like I would focus on if I were to feel super comfortable and relax. What does that feel like? And, you know, for me, it feels like a hawk up, but like a warm, hot cup of tea with my hands wrapped around it, or like it's chilly and I've got a blanket, you know, those kind of things. And before I know it in ways that I couldn't have, like, created, I had land into this beautiful new apartment, like basically two and 1/2 3 months later. Yeah, and it wasn't in the i. D. Most ideal have ways like it. Like I land back from an international trip and suddenly find out that I gotta move out of this building and takes me forever to find the apartment. And it's a whole struggle in a process. But then, you know, I found the perfect apart like a literally landed on it the day I was about to sign for another place that I didn't love. I land on this apartment with the perfect price and exactly the building I want in and so going back to

Justin:   52:48
So So what I notice you did is you set up a proper in the goal, which is a feeling of peace and of comfort. X's just reading about this in Mission La Chianese, the code of the extraordinary mind where he talks about that history in an end goal and a means goal. Where is most people get stuck in a means goal like, Well, I want an apartment that's got two bathrooms and it's got a window. But you you can destroy a means goal or realize that it's a means go by asking like, well so that you can do what? Well, so that then I can enjoy the view well, so that what so that I can feel really blissed out looking at nature just like Well said, The end goal is feeling blissed out, looking at nature like there's no there's nothing beyond it. So then you can stuff will fill in when you have the proper end goal. That's so cool, that is,

Nida:   53:40
Yeah, amazing. And it's not that I've mastered anything is just like I remember these principles and I'll put him into practice just like anybody else and like all these cool things will happen. And actually, now that I think about it, uh, I got the notice end of September because I can't. I flew back the last day of September, and then by October end I had to give notice or let them know that Hey, I'm gonna either gonna stay a relief. So the actual signing for this building. And by the time I found out to the signing of this building, it only took four weeks end to end. It wasn't a long process.

Justin:   54:15
What we in New York? It's really easy to find a place to live, right? It's, uh

Nida:   54:19
oh, the easiest damn place to find a new, affordable, clean, comfortable place to live in. What are you talking about?

Justin:   54:27
So for everyone else and other parts of parts of the country and the U. S of the world like that is that is a miracle. Like the parting of the red seizes is easy compared to finding a fantastic, affordable place in New York, So

Nida:   54:40
yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Justin:   54:43
Well, so is there any any last things? Because I think we've been talking for, like, an hour. I know. I could probably talk to you for hours and hours. Yeah, So is there

Nida:   54:54
any talk? But I think I think I do want put out one last thought. There is that every thing, despite everything that we want and which we deserve. Okay. We do deserve great things. We want that you know, ultimately, we want that greatness in our lives, whether through people or things. Ultimately, it's through acknowledgement in like like people want to be seen. People won't want to be admired and seen for their personal greatness like Hey, I am of someone of value. It has done on me more and more over time that that greatness is not only amplified with like on the outside world, but within ourselves, when we are in service to others where we are in service of something else that's bigger than us. And it's gonna last long, long after work on. Yeah, And so when when were going for these manifestations like I want this. I want that one, this one, that you'd be very smart in the long run and get far more dividends and payouts to manifest those things that will help you build a foundation or and or bring the thing which you can be in service to. And that's where I am now. I'm not saying I've gotten there, so I am now. It took me this much time, but if there's anybody listening who's not 35 much younger, take the advice to try to build a foundation to be in service to the world and that will literally put everything else in place for you in your life automatically.

Justin:   56:38
I think that is fantastic advice. Because if you are bringing fantastic value to the people of the world, the great value comes back to you just in more ways and then can be imagined. Yeah, there's more than just the dollars in the sense.

Nida:   56:54
In order to be great for others, greatness will be given to you this right circumstances the right funding, the right logistics, geography. Everything will be given to you to make that happen. You don't have to ask for any of it. So be smart on us. Like, you know, if you if you had a gene that said you got, like, one wish, right? Not three, then. Like, how do you make that happen? How do you want? Look, what's the and gold that go for?

Justin:   57:20
I love it. All right. Not any You got a website or anything you want to let people know about

Nida:   57:27
No, man. I got this this gram account exponential you at exponential you. And that's where I am these days. I purposely don't really do any sort of marketing anything but just sharing

Justin:   57:39
program. That's short for the insta gram gram. That's right. That's how that's how old I Yes, I am listening this Ah, someone was saying like, oh, check me out on I G. And I'm just like I wake. That's what's the idea that this instagram Come on, let's get it. I was like, Oh, okay. It's like a MySpace. Alright, fantastic.

Nida:   58:00
Yeah, exactly. It's Tom on. Yeah, So that's that's the new space these days for the grown up kids.

Justin:   58:09
All right, so, uh, make sure have a link to your Ah, you're your gram. You're I g Your instagram in the show notes that he will come find you if, uh, they were touched and they got a question, something like that. But I want to thank you so much for being on. Ah, the engineering emotions and energy podcast is really awesome. Have you? Thank you, Justin. Thanks for listening to this episode of the engineering emotions and energy podcast. Find me at Justin wink dot com w e n ck. And also looking up on face back takes book. Would love to find out what you thought. You have any suggestions? Questions? Thank you. Good day.