In this episode, Steve and Matt delve into the insidious grip of fear and its impact on their lives. Reflecting on recent experiences, they candidly discuss the repercussions of allowing fear to dictate their actions, from missed opportunities to strained relationships. The conversation unfolds as they share personal anecdotes, from Steve's reluctance to take a day off to Matt's travel anxieties.
Their exchange underscores a universal truth: fear can manifest in myriad forms, from economic insecurity to the fear of failure. As they navigate the complexities of fear, they unveil its close ties to control and comfort zones, revealing how fear-driven reactions can lead to unintended consequences.
Through introspection and vulnerability, Steve and Matt unpack the destructive cycle of fear and its correlation with addictive behaviors. They candidly explore how fear often masquerades as anger, causing rifts in relationships and perpetuating harmful patterns.
Yet, amidst the challenges, they find solace in the power of acknowledgment and self-awareness. By confronting their fears head-on, they pave the way for growth and resilience. Their conversation serves as a beacon of hope, reminding listeners that liberation from fear is attainable through courage and introspection.
Tune in as Steve and Matt embark on a journey of self-discovery, challenging listeners to confront their own fears and embrace the transformative journey toward healing and wholeness.
Do you find value in what the Sober Friends Podcast does? Consider buying us a coffee at buymeacoffee.com/soberfriendspod. Your donation helps us with hosting and website fees and allows up to maintain our equipment. You keep us on the air for the new guy or gal.
🎙️ Enjoyed this episode? 📩 Stay in the loop by subscribing to our weekly newsletter! Get exclusive behind-the-scenes content, bonus insights from our guests, and exciting updates delivered straight to your inbox. Don't miss out – join our community today! 👉 Subscribe Now
In this episode, Steve and Matt delve into the insidious grip of fear and its impact on their lives. Reflecting on recent experiences, they candidly discuss the repercussions of allowing fear to dictate their actions, from missed opportunities to strained relationships. The conversation unfolds as they share personal anecdotes, from Steve's reluctance to take a day off to Matt's travel anxieties.
Their exchange underscores a universal truth: fear can manifest in myriad forms, from economic insecurity to the fear of failure. As they navigate the complexities of fear, they unveil its close ties to control and comfort zones, revealing how fear-driven reactions can lead to unintended consequences.
Through introspection and vulnerability, Steve and Matt unpack the destructive cycle of fear and its correlation with addictive behaviors. They candidly explore how fear often masquerades as anger, causing rifts in relationships and perpetuating harmful patterns.
Yet, amidst the challenges, they find solace in the power of acknowledgment and self-awareness. By confronting their fears head-on, they pave the way for growth and resilience. Their conversation serves as a beacon of hope, reminding listeners that liberation from fear is attainable through courage and introspection.
Tune in as Steve and Matt embark on a journey of self-discovery, challenging listeners to confront their own fears and embrace the transformative journey toward healing and wholeness.
Do you find value in what the Sober Friends Podcast does? Consider buying us a coffee at buymeacoffee.com/soberfriendspod. Your donation helps us with hosting and website fees and allows up to maintain our equipment. You keep us on the air for the new guy or gal.
🎙️ Enjoyed this episode? 📩 Stay in the loop by subscribing to our weekly newsletter! Get exclusive behind-the-scenes content, bonus insights from our guests, and exciting updates delivered straight to your inbox. Don't miss out – join our community today! 👉 Subscribe Now
Matt:
Okay, Steve. A little talk around the passion around recovery. And I'm just looking at the calendar. When this drops because the idea of this is as the odometer starts rolling on your sobriety. Am I doing something wrong if I'm not as passionate about sobriety and recovery as I was in my first year, the first month, first six months, first year. And I'm just looking at the calendar. By the time this is released, I'll be pretty close to a big anniversary.
Steve:
Mm hmm. Yeah.
Matt:
We'll
Steve:
Yeah, It's
Matt:
actually
Steve:
great.
Matt:
be if we can do this right. I'll actually podcasting on that night.
Steve:
Right. That'd be great.
Matt:
Yep.
Steve:
it's good to be here, Matt. Yeah, I think for most of us, it's probably unrealistic to think that we're going to be as passionate, you know, in year ten or year 20 as we were on year one or even year five.
Matt:
But it does make me feel like I'm doing something wrong.
Steve:
Yeah, I mean, I. I get it. I get it. But, you know, there's, there's a saying in, in AA at least saying, you know, we don't we don't get sober just to sit around in meetings and in church basements. Right. We get sober and we do all this work so that we could actually go out and live a life in the world. Right. So,
Matt:
Mm hmm.
Steve:
so that's part of it, right? Is that what happens is when we get sober, we're given these freedoms now to do things that we were many of us, not all of us, many of us were neglecting, many of us weren't doing. And now we can do them. Such as stuff with your family. I
Matt:
Yes.
Steve:
mean, you got to think about what you're doing with your son, right? I mean, all the stuff you're doing with your son. the question is like, if you were actively drinking, you probably would not allow, you know, you probably wouldn't be doing that. You know, you probably would be like, now, you know, stick around, play high school, do this, do that. And, you know, you just wouldn't be as willing to do some of those things. So I think some of it is it it's to be expected. Now, there are ways to change that if you want to change it. And it's one of the things I do. Like, I actually feel that right now. I'm coming up coming up, I'm 14 years, right? So
Matt:
You.
Steve:
yeah, so, you know, and I feel that a little bit too, like my programs, I still seem to be doing all the stuff I do, but my program seems to be dragging a little bit. And so part of that is I've decided that I'm going to try to do a little bit more service work right on the and the district level and stuff like that. And I want to see like, you know, I want to see like, is that kindness? Is that going to make me am I going to be resentful that I have to do that or am I going to be energized by it? And I don't know what the answer to that is, but I'm going to try to do a little bit more of that. This year and see how that goes.
Matt:
I don't know if you've ever felt energized by service work. It's something extra I'm doing. What I find is that I am more capable than I thought. Like, Oh, I don't have the time for this. No, I'm able to make this
Steve:
Mm
Matt:
work. I think there's a sense of satisfaction that I have
Steve:
hmm.
Matt:
doing the service work, that I'm doing something I'm supposed to be doing. But for me, it's I have this conversation with my son, Owen, all the time. Like, the most exciting part of his day is going to the gym. I tell him that to me, that's like saying I get excited about brushing my teeth or
Steve:
Yeah.
Matt:
taking a shower. It's something that I do. And if it's something like service work, it's neither to get excited nor not to. It's just something to do.
Steve:
For me, you know what it is for me, it's that I like meeting new people, right? So and I like to especially like in sobriety, right? When I meet new people, I get some new vibes from these people. So, for instance, one of the things when we've talked about this a little bit is that I went on a retreat last weekend and it was the biggest retreat of the retreats I've ever gone on. It was 38 guys and I would say maybe almost half of the guys either. I didn't know at all or I knew very little. I knew very, you know, casually put it that way. So it's really cool for me to get out with some of those guys and get to get talking to them and hear their stories and hang out with them and share some time with them. And that's what I'm hoping will happen to me, like for my service for a great cause. You know, I do the GSR stuff, which is a meeting. It's all local people changes a little bit. the GSR is certainly change, but not a lot. And I'm on. Okay, if I take it up a notch, then I'll see more people on a wider and wider level and maybe, you know, maybe be energized by some of that, maybe some of the I guess I don't know. I don't know if that's going to be it for me. I do like service work. I've always liked service work in other areas of my life. So we'll see if this will energize me or not.
Matt:
Here's what's really great about service work. In my opinion, the people who are doing the service work a lot of times are the people who have really good recovery that I'd want a role. I would want a role model.
Steve:
Right?
Matt:
Not all of them. There's some people who are just cranks, but I think A guys like Dave B or Glen W,
Steve:
Yeah,
Matt:
Glen was on this show very early on, like Glen, just much like a lot of these guys rotated from position to position to position to position. He's always in service. It's a different service position.
Steve:
right.
Matt:
Dave has been like that,
Steve:
Mm
Matt:
that he's,
Steve:
hmm.
Matt:
he's, he's chaired the district level and then he's done stuff at the area level and he's come back and chaired a committee. And these are people who are involved and are good network people.
Steve:
Yeah.
Matt:
I kind of look at it that way of, you know, if that's what somebody like A Dave B is doing, I should do the same thing. I will tell you, I I'd much rather do service on a local level now. I need a break from that extra level because that small portion of the cranky and loud people
Steve:
Yeah,
Matt:
who have fixed ideas,
Steve:
right,
Matt:
the people who say people just don't own smartphones I can't deal with,
Steve:
right.
Matt:
I struggle with that.
Steve:
Absolutely. Know. And that is and that is that is something that's going to be the now now, the thing for me is when I get in those situations again, this gives me an opportunity to go, Oh, this is something I need to work on. Right? You know, it's the old saying that when when you know, when I ask my higher power for patience, he doesn't give me patience. He puts somebody in front of me that allows me to practice my patience. Right. And that's a great thing in life when you really think about that, right? If I have any type of struggle or a character defect, we call them character defects. If I have that and then all of a sudden somebody is in front of me or somebody is in a meeting with me or somebody somewhere, and they're pushing my buttons and pulling up their stuff, it's a great place for me to work on some of this kind of stuff. So again, some of that I get what you're saying because I, you know, you watch it and those things and and we have good participation right now at at our district meeting. We have really, really good like we regular
Matt:
That's excellent.
Steve:
yet we regularly get like 50 people at that meeting so it's really nice So so anyway so that's, that's one of the things we can do, right? The other things we can do is we talked a little bit about it before is in our, you know, in our line of work we do, you could sponsor somebody, right? And I've talked about it. I've been lucky enough to sponsor a bunch of different people, take them to the steps. And I've been I've been lucky enough to sponsor two guys at one time, and I've always felt like that was the time that my program felt like it was on fire the most. Like here I was taking these guys to the steps, which meant I was doing a lot of work, which meant I was reading, you know, the literature. we were talking about the literature. We were talking about what it meant. There were share me I was sharing with them. And I just felt like. Like, wow. This is this is what it feels like. I haven't had that in a long time. And I don't I don't have a desire for that now, not that I'm not willing to help and I am willing to help whoever might need my help. I just, you know, and that's part of me. What me not feeling, you know, I feel a little bit, you know, off a little bit, if you will. But I'm just not seeking out those experiences, you know? we've been getting some new guys at our Friday night meeting where the guys are, and there was a guy and, and I've talked to this guy plenty of times, I've talked to him plenty of times, and he came in a few weeks ago and he had yeah, I'm sure he wasn't even in the program that long, but he had, he had slept again and he was he had been talking about, you know, looking for a sponsor. I need a sponsor. I need a sponsor. And I didn't even approach him. Like, first of all, I would never approach him and say, hey, I want to be your sponsor. But sometimes I approach him and say, Hey, do you know how to go about look for a sponsor? Sometimes I'll have that type of chat with a guy and I do that, and then, you know, within the next couple of weeks he had found a sponsor. And it's really good. It's good that
Matt:
Great.
Steve:
he found sponsor. Right. And he found a good sponsor. And this gentleman is somebody I know, and he'll do a really good job with him, you know? But like I said in the past, I might have pursued that a little bit more and sort of put myself in front of them. Again, not not trying to lobby for the job, but let them know that I was available if he wanted, you know?
Matt:
Helping people. I definitely get something there. I'm thinking about you just saying I like to meet new people. I don't like to meet new people.
Steve:
Yeah.
Matt:
Not that I don't dislike people. I'm afraid
Steve:
Mm hmm.
Matt:
of new people. So
Steve:
Mm.
Matt:
I definitely have an issue I need to work on. And it was something that caused me to drink. But that fear of new people will reject me when they find out who I really am. And that has always been something there. And even it causes me to be reserved with new people. And I think part of that is rejection or getting hurt. That's an issue that I need to work on,
Steve:
Yeah.
Matt:
and I will hesitate with new people some time away. And some of it is I just don't know what to say to new people. If I have a rapport, it's easy for me to talk, but I can I can I can pause there. I think part of this, when you've been doing it a long time, is like being in a long marriage. If you've been in a 20 year marriage and you have the the high highs that you did dating for six months, God bless you, because I don't.
Steve:
Yeah. Who does.
Matt:
It's different once you have three kids
Steve:
Right?
Matt:
and sometimes it's just I just want to go to bed.
Steve:
Yeah,
Matt:
I just need to go to sleep. But I am I feel a sense of comfort that you are there. I think that's how I feel about recovery. Now, this. This helps. There are times that I. I've always felt this way. Podcasting. I don't want to go do the task. Once I hit the red light, I'm fine. I
Steve:
right,
Matt:
definitely love producing this, but it's that I've got to think of its topic. And then I got to talk and I could for this 30 minutes could be doing nothing.
Steve:
right.
Matt:
It's not even I'm
Steve:
Yeah,
Matt:
going to do something different. It's just I want an opportunity not to be doing anything.
Steve:
yeah,
Matt:
And sometimes I think it's worth thinking about. Just being in the routine is enough. I would. I definitely need to add another meeting to my repertoire. God knows if I'm going to do it, but I think just having the routine of I'm going to a meeting or I'm going to call somebody or I'm going to do this podcast and it's just what I do in that part of the week rolls around. At a certain point when you've done a bunch of the work is something you can do. I just and this is where I often feel I'm just not doing enough and I'm hard on myself. Like, when is the complacency and when is that? No, this is it's okay. It's like, when is it complacency and when is it you're going to strip your gums. If you go passionately at your teeth, brushing them?
Steve:
right. Two things. You you talked about that. First one is it's unrealistic for us to think that somehow we're going to reinvent and reinvent those passionate times of our twenties when we fell in love with our partner. If that's the case. Right. And that's somehow that's going to carry over 20, 25 years down the road. I think for most people, you're right, that's not the case. And there are some people who who bring some of that forward, you know, but for most people, probably not. And I think that's a great analogy towards our recovery, right When we first get in, especially those of us who really struggled, who really were and I'm not even talking about I'm not talking about a bad bottom, you know, physically or or financially. I'm just talking about those people. Like when I got here, I was just I was bankrupt emotionally, spiritually, you know, physically, somewhat. I was just down like I was just down. So and then once you start feeling better from that, like it's the same thing. It's like that romantic love early on, like, you know, And all of a sudden you start feeling great, like, Oh, this is great. So you're fired up and you're going to three, four or five, six, seven or whatever number of meetings you need, right? And that does cool off, just like just like a relationship. And then you settle into something that's more reasonable, whatever, again, whatever that is for you, whether that's two or three or four meetings. And, you know, so I think that's just normal. One of the things you said is, is another thing that I've been saying too, is like, I need to pick up some some extra meetings
Matt:
Mm
Steve:
and
Matt:
hmm.
Steve:
they don't have to be there. I have to be regular meetings, but like, I need to get out here and there, right? I need to get out. And I've been thinking like again, see, I've been thinking about going different places, like going for for us going to the other side of the river, going to West Hartford, going to something like that, going. Some meetings are different than the meetings I want to do around here because I live close to a recovery club that's about two and a half miles from my house that always house meetings. So a lot of times I was I'll just go there for my meeting. But that's the same people, right? It's in the next, like I'm going to see the same people at that meeting, more or less. Then I see pretty much all the time. And so for me it's like, Yeah, let me see something else. And the other thing I've thought about is like when the weather gets nicer, like when I first got sober, we used to do road trips, right?
Matt:
Right.
Steve:
My boss would go, we get three or four guys, We'd go drive for 45 minutes an hour. We went to Waterbury, you know, You know, we stopped, we had dinner, picked up my brother, who's in the program. We all went to a meeting with him. Like, those are really, really fun nights. And it's like, that's the kind of stuff I think I need to get back to
Matt:
I
Steve:
do
Matt:
never
Steve:
some
Matt:
think
Steve:
of that.
Matt:
of I never think
Steve:
Yeah.
Matt:
of that.
Steve:
Yeah,
Matt:
And I probably know five people that if I picked up the phone and say this bring let's do once a month, once every other month,
Steve:
right.
Matt:
let's get a bunch of us together. Let's go to a meeting, and they'll get ice cream afterwards or something
Steve:
Whatever
Matt:
like that.
Steve:
it is.
Matt:
And I
Steve:
But
Matt:
know there'll be
Steve:
yeah.
Matt:
a bunch of people who would want to do it.
Steve:
Yeah. My big thing is let's go to New Haven. We'll grab some New Haven pizza and we'll go to a meeting. That area. Right. Like we'll make a whole time out of it, right? We'll make something like that. And you're right. This. I don't think there's any question that it's easy enough to get, you know, a couple either two or three extra guys and and do that. Right. I think that and that is the kind of stuff that I think yeah, rejuvenate your your program, you know, your energy towards your program. And I think you start feeling a little bit better by it. So again, it takes effort. It's like everything else, it's like using the phone is like doing anything else, right. You, we can talk about it, but it takes effort to tip, to do something and make that plan happen.
Matt:
I haven't done this lately and I'm due for it. One of the things that I have found that has spiced up meetings is sitting in a different spot.
Steve:
Yeah.
Matt:
This is small and I'm
Steve:
Mm
Matt:
maybe
Steve:
hmm.
Matt:
other people are like me, but I don't think about doing the small things you had mentioned. Pick up a meeting. But it doesn't have to be a regular one. Like, I feel like if I go out on a Thursday night and I go to a meeting, that has to be the new thing I do every week. And so therefore I psyched myself out.
Steve:
You're right.
Matt:
The small steps of I can just go to a meeting and I don't have to make it regular. Maybe I go out on a Thursday or Wednesday and just drive around a little bit. I will tell you, I look at meetings that are outside of this area, a really interesting because they are different. They're different people
Steve:
Right?
Matt:
and they're run differently than what I'm used to. And I always find that interesting. Wow, this is this is done differently. Like,
Steve:
Yeah,
Matt:
I am so used to the way the meetings are around Manchester, Connecticut, that if I just go to Avon, it's like, Oh, wow, this is really different.
Steve:
right. Yeah, absolutely. It's funny you said I thought it was either a Friday night meeting or the Monday night meeting, both in the same place and I sat on the other side of the tables that we set up, and somebody pointed out to me like, Hey, you sit on this side today. Like, you never sit on side. You always sit on the other side, right? And it's like, yeah, I just felt like sitting on the side today. So it's funny that you say that sometimes doing that will make a difference, will make a difference. and here's the other thing is that if you pick up a meeting and this again, this and some of this, I'm talking to myself, if anybody's is listening to me pick up a meeting, I go to a meeting in West Hartford or Avon on a Thursday, and I'm like, Oh, that's a nice meeting. I like to go back there. If I go to that meeting once a month or every once in a while, maybe one month, I go twice in that month, people will start to get to know me at that meeting,
Matt:
Yes,
Steve:
Right? I don't need to go there every week. I mean, obviously they'd probably like it if I showed up every week. But, you know, if I said, yeah, it's something I can do, you know, But people say, you know, you'd, you'd be a regular even if it's just once a month or every once in a while, twice in a month. All right. If you did it, you know, if you went to that meeting 14 or 15 times a year, you'd be a regular. People would get to know you. You'd get to know them. And again, you'd have this whole different perspective, this whole different outlook. But one of the things that I don't know and I don't know, maybe I got a I find that it's like I don't know where all the women have gone. And I don't mean that like, I'm going to go chase women. That's not what I want. I've always liked to have women's perspective on sobriety and recovery. We used to have that in our Monday night meeting. We don't have it anymore. So I'm just wondering, like if there's more you know, there's more women on that side where you can go to a mixed meeting and get, you know, maybe a third of the meeting women where so that you have some women woman voices, you know, because again, I've always liked that. And I just don't see a lot of that at at the meetings I go to at least and I do go to some other meetings too. And it just just I don't know what it is, but the seems to be different now,
Matt:
I imagine that there out there when I went to that one Saturday Avon meeting. There were quite a few women at that meeting.
Steve:
right?
Matt:
It was it was a pretty full meeting.
Steve:
Yeah.
Matt:
So
Steve:
Yeah,
Matt:
I imagined that there out there might just be changing where people are going that were just not crossing over. And I also think that AA meetings are pretty male dominated,
Steve:
yeah. They always happen. But I mean, there was a time that our Monday night meeting had a least break live, you know, a regular sampling of women
Matt:
about
Steve:
like
Matt:
30%
Steve:
it,
Matt:
women.
Steve:
right? There was a time where it was, you know, 25 or 30%. Right. And then, you know, it changed changed
Matt:
So
Steve:
before COVID and then after COVID. It's just it's changed completely.
Matt:
yeah,
Steve:
And
Matt:
Covid's
Steve:
we have
Matt:
the big disruptor.
Steve:
and we have we have women who come to that meeting. We had women who were coming to that meeting regularly, and then they just dropped off, you know,
Matt:
Mm hmm.
Steve:
and I don't know why they've dropped off, but they have and some of them will show up once in a while, but they don't show up regularly.
Matt:
It just may not work for them at that
Steve:
Yeah.
Matt:
time, at that location
Steve:
I get it. Yeah.
Matt:
or.
Steve:
Well,
Matt:
I don't know, I don't have an answer for that. But that helps. Although.
Steve:
but yeah, but anyway, that's, that's me. That's some of the things that I look for. I look for, because like I said, I do, you know, right now my, my process is I do two meetings, I plus does podcast. That's what I've been doing for a while. Once in a while I'll throw in an Thursday night meeting. But again, when I do on a Thursday night meeting, typically I'm going to the men's meeting on Thursday night with you guys. Again, a lot of guys I know I like a
Matt:
Mm
Steve:
little
Matt:
hmm.
Steve:
bit of a different flavor, but typically the same format as my Friday night meeting. So, you know, and I do like going there because there's some guys there that don't get to see you regularly. And when I go there, I get to see them. So but that's what I end up doing. Like, that's a that's that is a meeting that I go to. Maybe I go to that once a month or once every other month, you know, and it just enough that guys know me and it's nice. It's nice to say hello to them.
Matt:
This Thursday, guys do not like my reason for not going there.
Steve:
Mm
Matt:
And
Steve:
hmm.
Matt:
you, the listener, may not like it either. It ends at 930. It's too frickin late. I don't want to be out that late. I get home, it'll be closer to ten, and then I have trouble winding down.
Steve:
Yeah.
Matt:
It just. I. I do not want. Like, we get out Monday at 830, and that's about as late as I want to be out.
Steve:
No, I agree. I get it. Yeah. There's a lot of guys they actually talked about change in that meeting. Um, well, not long ago, when they when they started back up after COVID, there was, you know, it wasn't going all and they, they actually had a I think they had a group conscious about changing it and making it make them and starting it earlier. So it would be done earlier. but apparently it felt right. The guys like that, you know, the old timers will tell you where all the meeting
started is to start at 8:
00. And they were all hour and a half and stuff like that, like back, back in the old days. I don't I don't love that time either.
Matt:
Mm hmm.
Steve:
It's a little bit easier for me. I don't have that responsibility. I need to be up at any time like you do, but I don't love being out at that. Like, that's why I think that's why I wouldn't make that probably wouldn't be a regular meeting for me. But to do it once in a while, it's okay.
Matt:
I would get burnt with the some of my sleep issues and with the ADHD and stuff, and it's an hour and a half,
Steve:
Yeah,
Matt:
and
Steve:
right,
Matt:
I understand. I understand all meetings were an hour and a half back in the day,
Steve:
Right.
Matt:
and there used to also be rotary dial telephones,
Steve:
Yeah.
Matt:
and they don't have that anymore. We're in a tick tock society where it's got to it's got to be quick.
Steve:
All right.
Matt:
And an hour and a half for me is it's not even a break. It's just too damn long. At a certain point, it's like, okay, I get it. I'm glad to hear all these stories by, but about the 15th story. I got it.
Steve:
Yeah,
Matt:
I'm glad that works for you, but I think I got it. At this point, I don't need to hear anymore. I need to go home.
Steve:
yeah.
Matt:
I'm burnt. My legs are kicking. I can't do anymore. So that that's part of my problem.
Steve:
No, I
Matt:
Terrible
Steve:
agree.
Matt:
attitude with that. But it just that's.
Steve:
No, I agree. I don't love hour and a half meetings. I don't. I, you know, most of them, most of all nowadays are an hour. you know, my Friday night meetings, an hour and 15 minutes doesn't make a big difference, but there is no break, so it just. It's over an hour.
Matt:
That's
Steve:
15?
Matt:
better.
Steve:
Yeah, and, it's, you know, I get that. That's some of it. I don't know, just to, just to keep that enthusiasm going for me is the other thing that happens to me is that when I realize that I'm, I start to struggle, right? Is that I also realize that it's time for me to do more right. And I always say that when when I feel like I don't feel like doing it, that's when it's time for me to do more. And usually that will boost up my interest and don't boost up my enthusiasm for my program I've been thinking about a lot. I did. There's a you know, 2025 is a is the world wide convention right up at,
Matt:
think it's. Vancouver skipped
Steve:
Yeah. Vancouver.
Matt:
the Detroit one.
Steve:
Vancouver. Yeah. I've talked about doing that. I've talked about doing it with my wife again. That could be one of those things where I think could be a lot of fun. You know, you can, you know, you can do a few things. You can make it into a little vacation thing, plus do some really fun stuff. yeah, you know, so I've been thinking about doing that kind of stuff and then, like I said, doing more locally, locally being my district and then my area and probably not much more after that, but, but just trying to see if I could I could just do a little bit more, offer a little bit more of myself to the program and hopefully spark myself and doing getting a little bit more enthusiasm back
Matt:
I'm.
Steve:
into the program.
Matt:
I'm totally in my head with a lot of this stuff too. Because if there's meetings like Thursday I hadn't been to in a while, I figure that I'm going to get the cold shoulder, that I'm going to get a hard time because I haven't been there in a while. There's
Steve:
Yeah,
Matt:
always that feeling I'm going to be rejected, so I'm not going to go,
Steve:
right.
Matt:
which
Steve:
Yeah.
Matt:
it's never the case. If I see somebody come to a meeting I go to, I haven't seen in a while, I'm excited that they're there. But for me it's a different story.
Steve:
You know, you may get some of that, especially the guys that Thursday night. You may get some of their stuff, you may get some pushback on it. But the truth is everybody will be happy to see you. They may bust your balls a little bit, but they'll be happy to see. And this is the other thing that, you know, I mean, it's a little bit different. Like I have issues with being rejected and all, but most of those are from people that I care about, like family, spouse, like that kind of stuff or work even people like a is like, now I really don't give a shit, right? I mean, it's like, you know, you like me, you like me, you don't like me, you don't like me. I know who I am in that program. I know the guys who I sort of fit in with everybody else. I really don't care if, you know, if they like me or they want to bust my ass, they can do that.
Matt:
I'm sensitive. Sometimes
Steve:
Yeah. Yeah.
Matt:
I want to give a shout out to one of our listeners, Mitzi Why? Mitzi said, I missed you guys when we had our week off. Just letting you know, Mitzi, why, as of February 19th, which is my mother's birthday, 39 years sober, living in
Steve:
Wow.
Matt:
Seaside, Oregon, home group, a new vision at the Little Yellow house. So I go back and forth with Mitzi all the time on email. Had no idea that Mitzi had 39 years of
Steve:
39
Matt:
sobriety.
Steve:
years
Matt:
So that is that's amazing.
Steve:
congratulated Alyssa. And thank you for listening. And thank you for thinking of us. Uh, when and when we're not around. It's always a nice feeling,
Matt:
Yep. If you've hey, if you've got sobriety dates that you want to tell me and you want to shout out, I will always shout out people who have lengths of sobriety because it just shows the newcomer that it's possible that it's Sober Friends podcast Give us a follow at Sober Friends podcast. Well, that's the website. Give us a follow on Instagram at Sober Friends Pod. I put a couple of things up there. I've been experimenting with just funny clips that, you know, I'm usually at, you know, between 200 and a thousand downloads and I got a couple there that are 317,050 2000 with some of the like the nonsense type stuff that I put up there. I'm like, okay, maybe people want a sobriety flare where they can laugh at it.
Steve:
right?
Matt:
I can do that
Steve:
Yeah.
Matt:
if that's what you like. That's what we're going to do. All right. God willing. We'll be back next week
