E170: The Purpose of Celebrating Sober Anniversaries

🌟 Join us as we mark a special occasion—March 21st, a day etched in significance for our host, Matt, who proudly shares his achievement of a decade of sobriety. But beyond personal triumphs, we explore why these anniversaries resonate deeply within the recovery community.

🕊️ With each passing year, every sober milestone becomes a beacon of hope, a testament to resilience, and a source of inspiration for those navigating their own paths to sobriety. From the pivotal five-year mark, where the odds tip in favor of lasting recovery, to the cherished double-digit milestones, each anniversary symbolizes a victory over adversity.

🤝 Yet, as our discussion unfolds, we realize that these anniversaries are not merely about individual accomplishments. They serve as beacons of hope, guiding newcomers through the tumultuous waters of addiction towards the shores of sobriety. Matt shares how his journey from self-reflection to selflessness mirrors the essence of recovery—a journey not just for oneself but for the betterment of others.

🎙️ Tune in as we reflect on the significance of sharing our stories, from humble beginnings to the lofty heights of celebrity, showcasing that the path to recovery knows no bounds. From Anthony Hopkins to Dax Shepard, their journeys remind us that addiction does not discriminate and that every voice, no matter how famous or ordinary, carries the power to inspire and uplift.

💪 Join us as we navigate the complexities of sobriety, one anniversary at a time, reaffirming the enduring message that recovery is not just about staying sober—it's about embracing life's challenges with courage, humility, and unwavering determination.

🎧 Listen now to this insightful episode and discover the beauty of sobriety anniversaries—a celebration of strength, resilience, and the triumph of the human spirit.

Do you find value in what the Sober Friends Podcast does?  Consider buying us a coffee at buymeacoffee.com/soberfriendspod.  Your donation helps us with hosting and website fees and allows up to maintain our equipment.  You keep us on the air for the new guy or gal.

Transcript

Matt: 0:24

Tonight on the Sober Friends podcast, we're going to talk a little bit about anniversaries. Well, I guess it's not nighttime where you are. You could be listening at night or you could be listening in the morning and you can be listening any time. But when we're taping this, we're taping this on March 21st. And the reason we're doing that is what's when we tape. But I'm saying it's March 21st because that's when my anniversary is. So today, as we're taping this, I have ten years sober and I will tell you why. It's kind of a big deal to me because it just I just and a lot of times felt less than having less than ten years. It made me feel like a new person. And I'm not. It's just how I felt. But feeling here is seeing that ten figure feels sounds different. Although in reality it's not much different at all.

Steve: 1:22

Well, happy anniversary, Matt.

Matt: 1:24

Thank you.

Steve: 1:26

Yeah. I think when you get to certain lengths of sobriety, ten being one of them, I think five. Another one Like those two. Sort of, you

Matt: 1:35

So

Steve: 1:35

know,

Matt: 1:35

let me tell you why

Steve: 1:35

standard

Matt: 1:35

five

Steve: 1:36

numbers.

Matt: 1:36

was a big deal for me.

Steve: 1:37

Why?

Matt: 1:38

I read somewhere when I first came in that if you get to five years, it becomes a better than 5050 shot. You're going to remain sober.

Steve: 1:47

No kidding.

Matt: 1:47

The numbers say that.

Steve: 1:49

Okay. I have

Matt: 1:51

So I

Steve: 1:51

never.

Matt: 1:51

wanted to to five.

Steve: 1:51

Yeah, I have never seen that, but. No. And I believe that for for most of us. And in in, in the rooms, you sort of see that as proof, right?

Matt: 1:59

Mm hmm.

Steve: 2:01

Plenty of people do go out. But for the most part, if you do reach that and if you're working a program, it all depends on what you're doing. But you have a really, really good chance of staying sober. Yeah. So those anniversaries, are it good to acknowledge them? Right. I mean, listen, I texted you this morning and you're like, Oh, shoot, I forgot. And it's

Matt: 2:20

I

Steve: 2:20

like.

Matt: 2:20

was in such a brain fog this morning.

Steve: 2:21

But I'm going to tell you something that happens to me, too. I don't pay a lot

Matt: 2:24

Yep.

Steve: 2:24

of attention to it. And it's not all the time. It depends on what's going on. But there are there have been times where I wake up and I've just forgotten completely that it was my anniversary. And that's okay, too, you know? Like I said, so some from some of them are bigger than others and ten is nice one, It is nice to get those double digits because

Matt: 2:44

Yes.

Steve: 2:45

the truth is that's all you ever going to get, right? You're only going to get double digits. And so it's nice to get there

Matt: 2:53

So the reason that I'm bringing this up is less to celebrate me. But it's an opportunity to talk about anniversaries in general. Why is it important for anniversaries if you're a member of a 12 step group? Why is it important to get a chip? These things are not about you. I'll take that back. If you go to one of the meetings where you have the monthly anniversaries. I think that is about you. Once you get to one year, for me, it stopped being about me. It started being about There are other people that this is for, not me. I'm a role model to show you. I could put together a year or five years or ten years that shows the new person who is shaking and baking and is thinking about how am I going to get through a weekend sober, that it is possible that you can put through periods of sobriety that are lengthy. You can get through this and you get to that point.

Steve: 3:56

that that is that is the beauty of recognizing them and then seeing them, letting people know that it's possible, letting people know. And that's why it's important for us in the 12 step program to go to meetings and and to not only go to meetings to share. I mean, you and I talk about it all the time

Matt: 4:12

Mm hmm.

Steve: 4:12

is that not only do we go to meetings, but we share in meetings because and some people think, Oh, I don't need to share, I don't have anything to say or whatever, but I just feel differently. I know, like I said, we've talked about it that I should go there and share some stuff and share about in a reasonable manner about whatever the topic may be or whatever I'm going through. Right, depending on what's going on, both. If I'm going to do something that's way more important for me to share on that than it is on the topic, right? I tell people that all the time, but it's good to go there and share that and talk about it and that's really good because we do have a few guys, one guy in particular who's been coming to Monday night who's only got four months or something, and

Matt: 4:55

Mm

Steve: 4:55

it's

Matt: 4:55

hmm.

Steve: 4:55

nice for us to get up there and show that we can do it. And it's just so it's just a way for people to acknowledge it, right? It really is. And then not only that, but there is some acknowledgement of, you know, oh, wow, look at this guy. He's got 22 years or whatever, 25 or 30 years, and they're still coming to meetings. Why

Matt: 5:17

Right.

Steve: 5:18

are they doing that? Right. That's

Matt: 5:19

Right.

Steve: 5:19

the other thing. That's the other thing you go down like, why are they doing that? You know? And it's just for what exactly what you said. It's it's because it's not about the individual. Is it nice to get those numbers? Yes, of course. Do you feel better? Is your life probably better? Yes, of course. But

Matt: 5:39

I dig.

Steve: 5:39

yeah,

Matt: 5:40

I'll go ahead.

Steve: 5:40

no, but it's just about it's about coming and being able to give back to the people who are new or whatever who are struggling. That's that's why these things are important to talk about and share and acknowledge for sure.

Matt: 5:53

I dig when I see celebrities posting how long they've been sober.

Steve: 5:57

Mm hmm.

Matt: 5:57

Anthony Hopkins has 40 years plus, I think.

Steve: 6:02

Right.

Matt: 6:02

And it is neat to see that. And I think the reason it resonates with me is it's another person that I know who got sober, and it makes me not feel alone. It's less about, ooh, it's a celebrity, so it makes it bigger. The celebrity aspect of it, it's a common person that I know. And even celebrities have their own issues and can find ways to get sober. So when I see something like that, I think I saw Tim Daly had a ridiculous amount of years, maybe a year or two ago. And I like seeing that for nothing less than I can identify. And I'm not alone. And especially seeing somebody famous, it helps me because it's not just somebody low bottom. This

Steve: 6:50

Right.

Matt: 6:50

can affect anyone. Even somebody you look at and say they have nothing to drink over. And yet they do, because it doesn't matter where you are on your social status.

Steve: 7:03

No, no, I agree. It's it's nice to see that. I like to see people who are willing to share some of that stuff, like I said, because I think that gets the word out. It's

Matt: 7:15

Mm

Steve: 7:15

it

Matt: 7:15

hmm.

Steve: 7:15

gets the word out farther, right? I mean, I could post anywhere, you know, that I have X amount of years and only so many people read it. But if Anthony Hopkins does it right, it's going to it's going to be a viral thing. It's going to get out there. Everybody's going to hear it. Not everybody, but a lot of people are going to hear it. And so the word gets out there even farther. And it's nice for them to do that so that they can share that. Again, it's not about them. It's about

Matt: 7:43

Right.

Steve: 7:44

them letting people know that this is possible. And and it really is. You know, listen, we're all some of us can be. I'm a big sports guy, so I've always been a little star struck by sports people when I was younger. Not anymore. And but it's nice to know you like you say, you look at these people and they're just they're just people, right? I mean, if any of these guys came into our room, once you get past that whole big, you know, oh, it's Anthony Hopkins or whoever it might be, they're just another drunk, right? They're just another addict. That's

Matt: 8:18

Yeah.

Steve: 8:18

all they are. And the truth is, if they're really if they're humble within this program, then then that's going to come out as they talk. And and, y know, one of the guys we've talked about is DAX Shepard. Right. DAX Shepard

Matt: 8:32

Right.

Steve: 8:33

is a he's a big you know, I've been I've been in recovery for a while, had had some problems with it. I love listening to his stuff. He's very honest about his stuff. He's really, really honest about it. And that's, that's really nice to hear somebody who's just, Nope, this is it, you know? I mean, he you know, there was a big story we talked about it and, you know, I'm not breaking anything. This is on his podcast where he was, you know, using and drinking and still going to meetings and actually picked up a big coin. And when he finally got clean, I can remember him saying his sponsor said, how did that feel like? How did it feel walking up? You know, So that's the whole thing about living this program, doing it humbly, doing it honestly and showing people that we can do it, you know, like we can do this. We can we can stay sober throughout our trials and tribulations, which we all have, which we all have. And and we can keep moving forward in sobriety, right? Yes, That's the key.

Matt: 9:33

I know people who have picked up those coins and they weren't sober

Steve: 9:37

Oh, yeah.

Matt: 9:38

and they didn't

Steve: 9:38

Yeah.

Matt: 9:38

earn them.

Steve: 9:39

Yeah,

Matt: 9:40

And those are the toughest stories that I have heard of those people who came. Correct and talk about it afterwards, that it's part of their story In the past. But those are very difficult stories to hear.

Steve: 9:54

they are. They're incredibly difficult. And maybe some people get pissed off, you know? And nothing surprises me when it comes to alcoholics and addicts. Nothing surprises me. I might have told the story before, but my brother was in the program and he passed away last year. But I remember him talking, man. He always hung around with guys who were in and out, in and my brother was in and out for a long time and struggled with with this disease and finally did get sober. But I remember one time was saying that one of his guys he knew came over and stole the lawnmower from my dad. Well, my kids live with my dad and pawned that for money. And he was like, Yeah, that's just what you know, that's just what drug addicts do. And I shook my head like, Yeah, that's just what drug addicts do. And they were able to get it back and all. But it's like, nothing surprises me, right? When when somebody is using. So when so many, you know, somebody's doing something or, you know, somebody is, you know, you got a lot of people who do marijuana maintenance and they say, oh, marijuana wasn't my choice, choice of drugs. So I can I can smoke, I can smoke pot. And as long as I don't drink, I'm going to still call myself sober. And and the truth is, I don't have a problem. Like that's up to them. I could care less what people do. But, you know, obviously, that's something for everybody to decide. That wouldn't work for me. But probably everybody has to decide what that was for them. For me to be sober is no mind enhancing substances at all. And,

Matt: 11:23

Now, for me to.

Steve: 11:24

you know, I mean, it might be different, you know, I mean, I guess a mind altering, I guess, is what I meant. So, you know, I guess that's different if you're under, you know, doctor supervision and maybe, you know, some people say some of these psychotic drugs and stuff like that, they're mind altering, too. But as long as they're on the doctor supervision, I think that's fine. But to each do them to each their own. But again, I think it's important. I think it's important. And listen, next week at our Monday night meeting, Right. I'm going to have you and our buddy Tim are going to get up. They're going to have

Matt: 11:54

Yeah.

Steve: 11:54

a bunch of years. It's going to be nice. And that group that become a nice meeting, had a couple women show up a couple of weeks ago and they said, know, like, oh, we like this meeting. You know, we're going to come. They go to another meeting out in a town, you know, on the other side of the river. And they said, We're going to alternate, we're going to come here once we're all going to go there she goes, Well, we like to and I love hearing that, right.

Matt: 12:13

Yeah.

Steve: 12:13

I love hearing that. So hopefully they'll be there next week when you get your coin and Timmy gets his coin. And so that's nice to see that. Listen, these people have great sobriety

Matt: 12:24

Do

Steve: 12:24

and, you know, keep coming.

Matt: 12:27

you have any idea where sobriety coin started?

Steve: 12:29

I do not. That's a good question.

Matt: 12:32

So I'm going to Wikipedia, so take it as that.

Steve: 12:38

Yeah.

Matt: 12:39

That the use in AA, according to Wikipedia, is that it's believed to have originated in 1942 in Indianapolis. The man who began the Alcoholics Anonymous section in Indianapolis, Doherty s, is thought to have started the COIN tradition. And there's a Portland, Maine group that began the tradition of using colored poker chips to mark sobriety.

Steve: 13:05

Mm.

Matt: 13:05

And it just kind of came about. So this is not something that started back when. It's not a build thing.

Steve: 13:12

No.

Matt: 13:13

There's there's nothing about chips in or coins in in the big book. And I know other fellowships do other things. There's the keychain in Narcotics Anonymous.

Steve: 13:28

Hmm.

Matt: 13:29

There is Frank who has passed away. Frank See, I used to mail people their chips. A people that he knew, friends of his. And he would get these very ornate ones and he would mail it to make sure that they received the in the mail on that day, because Frank was that type of person.

Steve: 13:52

Yeah,

Matt: 13:52

And I see that type of person. He was accurate.

Steve: 13:57

right.

Matt: 13:58

I could see him being that. And I'm going to figure out if I drop it in this mail container this day. It will get there on this day. And he was like

Steve: 14:08

Mm

Matt: 14:08

a person of routine that

Steve: 14:11

mm

Matt: 14:11

if you're on the frank list, you will be on the frank list forever. And I look at that as another great reason. Again, it's not necessarily just about you. It's a way of fellowship that we celebrate together. It's

Steve: 14:27

mm

Matt: 14:27

a giving thing.

Steve: 14:28

mm. Yeah. And you know, it's interesting. Like you said, there are there's a lot of different coins out there, right? And I have a friend who is involved with some people in this program who always get these really nice coins. And I'm talking about to go out and spend $30

Matt: 14:50

Yeah,

Steve: 14:50

on a

Matt: 14:51

I've seen

Steve: 14:51

horn,

Matt: 14:51

him.

Steve: 14:51

right. On a nice, beautiful coin. I would never do that. Right. Just that doesn't

Matt: 14:57

I have

Steve: 14:57

mean

Matt: 14:57

no

Steve: 14:57

anything.

Matt: 14:57

interest

Steve: 14:58

I mean, me too. I just don't. But some people do, and that's fine. And I'm okay with that. I really am. I'm okay with that if that's what they want after. If it's that important to them, they want to show it off. They want to have that much pride in it. Absolutely. To me, I don't I don't keep a coin on a key ring. It's down. I have a desk down in my basement and the finished side, which has all my stuff in there, like, Hello, there's a bookcase. All my stuff is down there in case I work with somebody. And that's where my coins go. The only thing I like to do with my coin is when I can remember and I just forgot to do this recently with somebody I'd like to pass. I always take two coins of the year. I take one from my Monday night meeting and one for my Friday night meeting and I always like to pass on one of my coins to one of my sponsors. So if my sponsor has an anniversary and they're in a meeting with me, I always like the I like to be the one to present them with that coin. And I always try to remember them. We want to give them one of my coins if I can and if I have so and I like doing that with mine, but that's about what I that's the only thing I like doing with my coins. Otherwise they sit in a desk and I don't pay a lot of attention to them.

Matt: 16:10

Mingo in a sock drawer.

Steve: 16:11

All

Matt: 16:12

After

Steve: 16:12

right,

Matt: 16:12

I receive it, I'm not really sure what to do with that,

Steve: 16:15

all right, all right.

Matt: 16:17

Which is why I don't. I understand. If you have a relationship with somebody, it's a neat gift to show you. Care to give

Steve: 16:25

Yeah,

Matt: 16:25

a more ornate one that

Steve: 16:27

I agree.

Matt: 16:27

I understand.

Steve: 16:28

Yeah,

Matt: 16:29

And I will tell you, if you get me an ornate one, it's going to go in that same sock drawer.

Steve: 16:33

right.

Matt: 16:33

So in some ways, the the dingy ones that are the bargain basement ones that most meetings have is good enough for me.

Steve: 16:47

Not only that, some of these things have been around the block many

Matt: 16:50

Yeah.

Steve: 16:51

times, like they're. They're like any type of coin. They're dirty. They're. You have all kinds of dirt and they're not clean, you know, And they're not always brand new because a lot of times people will turn in like, I have a collection. They're like I said, I keep mine. I just like I said, I keep one or two of them just to be give them away. But otherwise, you know, I always turn my stuff back in and I don't take any more than that. But a lot of people, they do. They you know, a lot of people, when they get when they get a coin, they'll turn in last year's coin, Right? That's what they do. They'll trade it in for the new one. Well, so you have these coins that are recycled and they're loose like that. They're just like money. So it's a cool tradition. It's interesting to see. I never even thought about where it started because it's not a tradition. A lot of times people will say when they give out coins, this is not a tradition of a but it is a tradition of this meeting to mark length of sobriety with the coins. And so it's pretty interesting to see where it came came about and there's no reason to discount that, you know, wouldn't be in Minneapolis, like who knows where it came from. So some I'm sure there are some stories out there about where it came from.

Matt: 18:04

Anything we're talking about AA stories, if that's the legend. There are probably 20 unwritten legends

Steve: 18:13

Mm

Matt: 18:13

like

Steve: 18:13

hmm.

Matt: 18:13

this would be like this would be a great Bill Shaver. Question of

Steve: 18:16

It would be

Matt: 18:17

Bill. Where did they really start? And he'd be the one to say it was in Indianapolis. It was really Oklahoma City or

Steve: 18:24

right,

Matt: 18:24

it was Cleveland that like

Steve: 18:26

Right.

Matt: 18:26

there are always there are the myths and then there's the truth. And in AA stuff, the two are rarely the same.

Steve: 18:35

Yeah. Often, oftentimes now it's it's like the hamburger. And we live in Connecticut. In Connecticut, there's a place in New Haven that claims they invented the first hamburger. You know, that's one of those things that several other places around like, No, no, no, no. They didn't do it. We did it, you know?

Matt: 18:51

Is that Louis Lynch?

Steve: 18:52

Yeah. Lewis Lunch? Yeah.

Matt: 18:53

Yeah.

Steve: 18:55

but yeah, that's supposedly the place that ever put the first hamburger together. who knows what the law, what? You know, what's correct. But I'm not sure it matters because it's today. It's a, it's a big tradition

Matt: 19:09

Mm hmm.

Steve: 19:09

in many meetings. And I think most people, certainly in our area, I don't know that anybody does and isn't offered a coin put it that way, is an offer to coin on their anniversary, Right. I mean, most meetings that I'd go to have some type of ability to give out coins for for people who, you know celebrate length so sobriety

Matt: 19:35

Some meetings. It's only for members

Steve: 19:39

right

Matt: 19:39

in. In the AA tradition. The reason that you put your name in a book is not that that makes you a member, but it's an organizing way to remember to give you your coin.

Steve: 19:51

right.

Matt: 19:52

Because if you you know, if you believe that you are a member of the group, you're a member of the group, whether you write it down or not. This

Steve: 20:03

Yeah.

Matt: 20:03

is not the type of organization where we have contracts and paperwork. It really is because we had this fight at the Thursday night meeting about this or that or this is a member or they're not a member. It was some stupid thing where people are yelling back and forth and one of the old timers raised his hand and said, it doesn't matter whether your name's in the book or not. If you believe that you're a member of the group, even if you have come in and you've been here for 5 minutes, you're a member of the group.

Steve: 20:35

Yeah

Matt: 20:36

That's how it works. And you know, because you're only requirement for membership is the desire to quit drinking, which is why it always. So we got this old timer here. His name is Chip, and he has been going to this meeting on Tuesday night for 25 years, maybe 30 years at this point, every single Tuesday. He doesn't consider himself a member of the group and has never put his name in the book. And when they have the business meeting, he leaves.

Steve: 21:06

right.

Matt: 21:06

Dude is a member of the group.

Steve: 21:08

Yeah.

Matt: 21:08

If you're go every single week and I can rely on, you're going to be there. You're just being a stubborn old mule.

Steve: 21:16

Speaking of Chip, I think Chip just celebrated 40 years, didn't he?

Matt: 21:19

No kidding.

Steve: 21:20

Yeah, I think so. Just like last month and time, I was hoping to show up because he was coming to our Friday night meeting for a long time, and now he's he started going somewhere else. And I was hoping he would pop and matter of fact, and every I got to give him a call now that I think I have to give em a call and check in and see how he's doing. And, but yeah, I believe he I believe he celebrated 40 years just recently. So

Matt: 21:41

Yeah. If

Steve: 21:41

that's,

Matt: 21:42

you listen, if you listen to this and you live anywhere near Hartford, Connecticut,

Steve: 21:46

uh.

Matt: 21:47

you know who Chip is?

Steve: 21:48

Yeah, yeah. He's

Matt: 21:49

He's

Steve: 21:49

been

Matt: 21:49

one

Steve: 21:49

around,

Matt: 21:50

of those guys that everybody in the state knows him

Steve: 21:52

right.

Matt: 21:53

or

Steve: 21:53

Well, he's been a

Matt: 21:53

knows

Steve: 21:54

Yeah,

Matt: 21:54

of him.

Steve: 21:55

you know, he's been around. So if you've been around, you know, if you've been around for any length of time, yo know,

Matt: 22:00

Yes.

Steve: 22:00

because he's been involved, he's been, you know, the old timers and this is the, this is the interesting thing about some of these things in anniversaries. you think about a guy like that who has 40 years and then so you think about, okay, you go back, say say you go back 37 of those years and then you, you have him touch comes one of these six degrees of separation things.

Matt: 22:23

Right.

Steve: 22:23

You have him touch somebody else there who has 35 years. Right. That goes back like then you get you end up getting back to Bill Bill Wilson pretty quickly. You know, I'm saying it's like, you know, it doesn't take much. So, you know, you get these touches of people like Chip who've been around and some of these other guys, mostly like the Thursday night meeting has some huge, you know, huge sobriety guys. And that one like, yeah, they get back then they they touch some really old timers and even in the local area guys that I don't know, I hear these names. Everybody knows your name. I don't know these people personally, but you start going, Oh yeah, that's so you know this guy, that guy guy through who around forever and who did a lot Who did a lot to help the the the new upcoming you know struggling alcoholic back in the day when it was you get in the room you just shut your mouth and you sit down and listen

Matt: 23:22

Yes.

Steve: 23:24

and yeah you in you're you do what you're told like you do what you're told. And but these guys were tough, but man, they took care of you and they helped a lot of people. They helped a lot of people. Think about all the people that Chip has touched and help in his 40 years of of sobriety. So and that's why, again, that's why it's important to to sort of acknowledge that. And that's why it's important to go, like I said, Chip Chip was coming to the Monday night meeting and going to the front. And like, it's important to touch, you know, touch base with those guys and and see like, oh, this, this person is still doing this,

Matt: 24:01

And

Steve: 24:01

And

Matt: 24:01

still active and still taking responses.

Steve: 24:04

Still taking spa less than he used to and certainly doing less service work than he used to. But that's okay. That's okay. This person's 80 years old something,

Matt: 24:14

Yes.

Steve: 24:14

you know, like so yeah, it's okay. That did it. They're doing less work, but he shows up all the time, drives himself to a meeting. He goes there, he shares, If you need somebody to talk to, he's available to talk to. And yep, if you need a sponsor, I'm sure he'd be willing to sponsor you. He probably is not willing to sponsor a lot of 20 year old guys anymore. Probably doesn't have that type of energy, you know, But maybe if somebody who has some sobriety is looking for a sponsor, somebody to talk to, somebody to just to have the be around, he could be

Matt: 24:43

This

Steve: 24:43

the perfect

Matt: 24:44

is a guy

Steve: 24:44

guy for some

Matt: 24:44

who

Steve: 24:44

time,

Matt: 24:44

I saw sponsoring a lot of 20 year old guys and young

Steve: 24:47

right?

Matt: 24:47

guys.

Steve: 24:47

Oh, he did for a long time.

Matt: 24:48

It's it was always a weird thing to see that

Steve: 24:51

I agree.

Matt: 24:52

all the 20 year olds are all around him.

Steve: 24:54

Yeah,

Matt: 24:54

This old codger.

Steve: 24:56

I, I agree. I mean, I used to see some of the people he was sponsoring. Go, man. That's kind of right. It's like this old guy is still sponsoring a lot of these guys, you know, like that. I think that's waned a little bit. but he's done. He's done this year. He's done this year.

Matt: 25:12

I like his talk track when he talks about why he stepped back from things and his talk is other people have to step up.

Steve: 25:19

Mm.

Matt: 25:20

I've done it. I have to make way for other people.

Steve: 25:23

Yeah.

Matt: 25:23

And I like the old timer attitude of that. Mickey is not one of those people, you know. Shut your mouth. His mindset is, are you brand new? I would rather you open your mouth than me because I need to get to know you. You need to share more

Steve: 25:38

Yeah.

Matt: 25:39

than me because you need the relief.

Steve: 25:43

That's who Chip is today.

Matt: 25:44

Yes.

Steve: 25:45

You're right. I don't know for sure if that's

Matt: 25:46

Well,

Steve: 25:46

who Chip

Matt: 25:47

I.

Steve: 25:47

is,

Matt: 25:47

I

Steve: 25:47

Right.

Matt: 25:47

only

Steve: 25:48

30

Matt: 25:48

knew Chip

Steve: 25:48

years

Matt: 25:48

last

Steve: 25:48

ago.

Matt: 25:48

ten years.

Steve: 25:49

But. Right, that, that is who he is today. And and there's no question about it. You know that he wants to hear what the newcomer says he wants to. And it's true. And listen, I feel the same way. I, I sit back and a lot of things I don't mind doing service work. I don't mind speaking if they're speaking engagements that do. I don't mind doing a lot of service work. But I think I do think it's important that other people do it too. Not only newcomers, but other people. Even with some time. I think it's very important and I think it's very important for the health of a meeting to make sure that that service work is being spread. It spread around so that other people can do it

Matt: 26:32

Now you can't have institutional knowledge. You

Steve: 26:35

right?

Matt: 26:35

can't be have that concentrated in one person. And there are plenty of meetings like that.

Steve: 26:40

Absolutely

Matt: 26:41

But the healthiest attitude is if you have some time, do something to share with somebody newer or less experienced. So that can live on. And I think that's I am just thinking about this talking now, the whole idea of if you've got if you get in that chip. The second question should be who have you touched during that time? What impact? Okay, you got a ten year because I've seen people who get like 29 years and their sobriety is not what I would want for myself.

Steve: 27:16

right

Matt: 27:17

Time does not equal quality of sobriety.

Steve: 27:20

now,

Matt: 27:20

I have seen people who have six months sobriety who I would be jealous of.

Steve: 27:26

Absolutely.

Matt: 27:27

But okay, I got this coin. I want to think about what impact did I make? How did I help somebody else in this time? And did it exponentially grow every time I got a chip? I don't know how well I've done with that every single time. But it's aspirational.

Steve: 27:46

You know, you know, you bring up something really good about like we just talk about how, you know, maybe it's not that big of a deal. It's nice to do it for other people, but it might be a great time to pick up a chip and reflect on, Hey, what have I done in the last year?

Matt: 27:58

Yeah.

Steve: 27:59

More? What have I done and what do I want to do in the year coming, Right. that that's a really great way to sort of take a look at that anniversary and maybe make it useful. Like, what did I do? What would I like to do different or better? One of the things cause I've talked about recently, like I'm GSR and I've talked about maybe doing a little bit more gas those last few hours. All I do is want to meetings, took notes, picked up flyers, didn't do anything. And this year I feeling like, okay, maybe I should do a little bit more and I have done a little bit more. But it's a great way I think, to look at it. you know, what do you do around if you're out there listening to this?

Matt: 28:38

Yeah.

Steve: 28:39

Yeah. Get, get, get in touch with us. Send us a note. Like, here's what I do, here's how I celebrate my anniversary, here's how I put it to work. Give us some feedback and some ideas as to what you do with that so that maybe we could talk about it on here and start some new traditions for new people.

Matt: 28:57

Mm hmm. This is why I like to go to meetings outside my area or hear about it. Mark s unrecovered talks about the table meetings that they have. There are some groups that have cakes and celebrations

Steve: 29:11

Mm hmm.

Matt: 29:12

and stuff where I go, It's. It's much more low key. You got a chip. But I am interested in what other people do. Because although although you follow the 12 steps, meetings are radically different. Even if it's like a speaker, even if it's a speaker meeting, the nature of the speaker meeting is so radically different and

Steve: 29:35

Right.

Matt: 29:35

there are different reach. If you're in a different country, what do you do differently? We have heard from people who are overseas. Yeah, that that would be a good one. Made a Sober Friends podcast. Instagram at Sober Friends Pod. We would love to get a five star review on Apple Podcasts to tell us what you like because we read all of this stuff. Steve Thanks for doing this and help. This is what somebody asked me. What are you doing special for your anniversary? I'm podcasting with Steve

Steve: 30:09

That's it.

Matt: 30:10

and trying not to kill somebody today.

Steve: 30:12

It's.

Matt: 30:12

So I did that barely. But yeah, I was successful. I go, I didn't kill somebody today

Steve: 30:17

Yeah,

Matt: 30:17

when I wanted

Steve: 30:18

that's.

Matt: 30:18

to.

Steve: 30:18

That's my line.

Matt: 30:19

Yeah,

Steve: 30:20

All right, Matt, Have a great night.

Matt: 30:22

yeah. And everybody will see you next week. I have a buddy.