E174: Creating a Sober Lifestyle

Join us on the Super Friends podcast as we dive deep into creating a sober lifestyle and what that truly means. Steve and our host, Matt, open up about their personal experiences, struggles, and victories on this challenging yet rewarding journey.

Matt shares his recent encounters with Tim, who expressed his concern about John's sleep apnea issues and the impact on his well-being. With the hectic schedule of his kids' sports activities and work commitments, finding time for AA meetings has become increasingly difficult. Despite not feeling the urge to drink, Matt realizes he's overextended and in need of a plan to maintain his sobriety.

Steve highlights the necessity of putting in the work and the importance of flexibility in adapting to life's demands while maintaining a sober lifestyle. He shares personal anecdotes and offers valuable insights into the challenges and triumphs of this journey.

Together, they stress the significance of reaching out to others, building a support network, and staying vigilant even when things seem manageable. They emphasize the need for constant self-improvement and the incorporation of sobriety into every aspect of life.

In a heartwarming story, Steve recounts a recent encounter at a hot dog stand that beautifully illustrates the transformation he's undergone, thanks to his commitment to sobriety. It's proof that the program not only changes one's life but also instills a desire to help others.

Tune in and learn from their experiences as they navigate the path to a fulfilling, sober lifestyle. Don't miss this powerful episode filled with inspiration, insight, and a touch of humor.

Listen now on the Super Friends podcast! 🎧 #SoberLife #SelfImprovement #SupportNetwork

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Transcript

Matt: 0:24

Today on the Super Friends podcast, we're going to talk about creating a sober lifestyle and what that means. Steve, you and I were talking about this before I hit the record button, but I'll tell myself a little bit. My AA attendance has been pretty poor over the month of April, and there are reasons for that. Our buddy Tim, who I wish I could give you an episode number because I also discovered that I missed the numbering of one of the episodes. So like episode 100 was really episode 101. But in the early episodes, I think the thirties are forties. We interviewed Tim. He's the guy who every time he drank, he crashed his car and he reached out and he was very worried about me and I was telling him about my sleep apnea issues and I'm tired. And now we also have sports season for the kids. So every Monday night, my every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, although not this Monday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday, my son has volleyball and he's playing both J.V. and varsity Plus, on Monday, the girls also have soccer. One starts at 530, one

Steve: 1:31

It.

Matt: 1:31

starts at 630. And there are going to be some times my wife is is on travel. So that stuff's going on. And I was telling him about my fatigue and he's like, well, you got to do something before the first drink becomes something that looks good to you. And I'm like, Tim, I'm not thinking that way. But he wasn't he wasn't biting there. I will say I think I think I feel fine. Drinking is not my concern. It's I am overextend it again. So I would my plan was to go up to Tim's house yesterday. I didn't do it. My plan was to go Friday. I didn't do it for a number of different reasons. And I think I need to do I need to create a little bit of a plan. I think I can go the Friday meeting. I would just need to take a separate car to volleyball or just mark it down or we've got to plan it out. Is this just when I when I do something, I can do it. When I don't do something, I can't change. I am stuck in inertia. But that's that's a little bit of what's going on with me. And I think this ties into creating a sober lifestyle and what that means. That's a that's a broad topic. And I'm stealing this from Mark s from recovered. Sometimes I go through his like 15 600 episodes that he has and just look at stuff. Why reinvent the wheel

Steve: 2:52

Hmm.

Matt: 2:52

when he's done a great job? What's your thoughts on creating a sober lifestyle?

Steve: 2:57

It takes work. Right. Like you said, it takes work. And it's easy to, We've talked about it. I mean, you're at a place that I remember well, in my. In your life where the kids activity has become a really, really, you know, big thing. And you have three. I had two. They were a little Mm hmm. bit they were a little bit different. But still, you know, two is a lot easier than three. Right. To

Matt: 3:20

Yes.

Steve: 3:21

it goes with one parent, right? I mean, it's easy. They match up if you have two people, two parents, one goes one way, one goes the other way. So so that was that that, you know, that is what it is. But it's it's a it's a hard time. It's a busy time. And it does take some flexibility and work. Like you said. and maybe for a while, like, hey, listen, you know, these activities don't go on forever, right? We're we're

Matt: 3:49

Now it's

Steve: 3:49

in

Matt: 3:49

a couple

Steve: 3:49

a

Matt: 3:49

of months.

Steve: 3:49

April. We're almost in May. So, you know, talk in a couple of months like it just takes a little bit of thought. Like you said, you got to put a plan together and you have to change some things up. maybe that means you don't go to the Monday night meeting. Maybe that means she's like, listen, I'm not going to stress myself out, but I'll go to a different meeting that I'll go to to Friday, whatever other meeting that's going to work for you, Right. The Thursday night meeting, The Friday night meeting or Tim's house on Saturday, whatever it might be. But you do have to put that in the plan. You do have to, in your case, talk to your wife about it and say, here, I need to do this right. Mm hmm. I need to take care of my sobriety. So I need to put a plan in the place and then yeah, and just do it. And like I said, everything. It's temporary, it'll pass. And, then, you know, you'll, you'll, you'll be fine.

Matt: 4:35

I think what's also important is and this. This ties into creating a sober lifestyle. I've got to be better at reaching out to people. Yeah, Tim's a good person to reach out to. I can call him at any time. I can call you. right. There are people I can reach out to because I've gotten out of the habit of that. I don't do it.

Steve: 4:51

Yeah, me neither. I

Matt: 4:52

And

Steve: 4:52

don't

Matt: 4:52

it's

Steve: 4:52

do it

Matt: 4:52

tough.

Steve: 4:52

enough.

Matt: 4:53

It's tough to get into the habit.

Steve: 4:55

No, I agree. Lots of people do it. I talk about it all the time. Some of the guys, our buddy Todd, I want to talk to more. Timmy. Timmy, reach out to me a couple of weeks ago about something he was reading, and I told him, like, I just told him, like it was a text message. Right? But I was like, we need to talk. Like, we need to do this more. Right? Mm hmm. Right. and just like everything else, I know Timmy, and I know Timmy will pick up and talk to me whenever I want, but I still feel like I'm not going to call Timmy and then bother his day, right? I mean, that's the way I and I still, after all these years, still struggle with that. But that's part of it, you know, I mean, we got to do it and once in awhile I'll do it once in a while. I'll call a couple of alcoholics during the day and man, I love it. I'm like, Wow, look at that. I feel like calling up Edson. Edson is a big one. He wants to call three alcoholics every day. And he does. He calls. He you know, I'm one of the people. He just goes through his phone lists and calls people all the time.

Matt: 5:53

He doesn't call three alcoholics per day.

Steve: 5:55

Yeah,

Matt: 5:55

He calls until he gets three alcoholics.

Steve: 5:57

right. You're right. Absolutely. Yeah, that's true truth. He right. He talks to three alcoholics a day, which might take eight phone calls. Right.

Matt: 6:04

Yeah.

Steve: 6:05

And everyone's oh, I'll do it. And I'm like, oh, I should call it and tell him I talked to three, you know, like, that's just the way it feels. But it's work. It's, you know, it's a dedication. it's something that you end up doing. And like, like you and I were talking, it's not like, it's not like you're at risk. And same thing. I don't feel like

Matt: 6:24

No.

Steve: 6:24

it either. Like I'm at risk for for picking up. But that doesn't mean we can't, okay? We're not naive enough to think, Oh, I don't have to worry about that. It just means I do think that we both know when we're sort of, you know, creeping down that path of like, oh, I'm uncomfortable here and I need to really buckle down. I think we're connected enough and I Mm hmm. and I get it with Timmy. Timmy hasn't seen you, but you and I do this podcast. So we talk at least once a week, like we're talking for a half an hour on the podcast. So, you know, I get to see you. And if I thought that, you know, there was something going on and we would talk about it, that's all.

Matt: 7:01

I am blessed to have somebody like Tim in my life Yeah, who is willing to have that conversation to care enough. absolutely. And there's enough alcoholics out there who will say, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm fine to get you off But the set. I really am fine. We talked about meetings that I would want to go to. We talked about ones like, I really don't want to go to that meeting. right, And he'd mention all our meetings are good, but I'm not fan of that one. I think. I think all meetings are good for somebody. Not all meetings are good for me. right, And I also have an issue with if I haven't been to a meeting in a while, I'm afraid to go to that meeting because I'm afraid of the reaction I'm going to get. But Yeah, I think that also goes with some self-esteem issues, which I've also been working on therapy. So the therapy hasn't ended that I'm doing, and I consider therapy to be part of my sobriety. And the number one thing I am doing in therapy is of myself opinion. My therapist is on a mission to change my self opinion because she thinks very highly of me. So we have that going on and that that never ends. There's so always something I'm doing for my sobriety. yeah.

Steve: 8:20

And that's what we need to do. I mean, we need to make sure that, we're living, you know, we're living this, this life of sobriety in all aspects of our life, right? We talk about it. We apply these principles to all aspects of our life. And, you know, I always need to make sure I'm trying to do that. And, and a lot of times for me, it just happens. And I know, I know it does for you, too. Like like I come to accept this lifestyle and accept the changes that I've gotten from this program. And I just let them happen. And I'll tell you a little story about yesterday. I went hiking with John and so we finished a little bit earlier because it wasn't as long as we thought it was. And I was coming back through through Waterbury, which is where I grew up. And it was like lunch time. And my wife and I had just been talking about hot dogs and there's a good hot dog place there called Frankie's appropriately right off the highway. I think I'll stop at Frankie's and grab myself a hot dog. And while I'm standing there, Wait. Now I'm impatient. I'm hungry. I still want to get home. So they're making. I know, like this weird, like these hot dogs I cooked. They're just waiting to be put on a bun. So I'm a little bit impatient standing there wondering why it's taking three or 4 minutes to get my order on. But. But an older man, gentleman comes up and he's got a cane and he orders his two chili dogs and puts his cane up and his cane flops over. And I pick it up for him and I just and, and then he gets his order before I get my order. And they put it in a little box for you. And he's got his two chili dogs and it's got a drink. And I could see him struggling with it. And, and, and I'm like, do you need some help with that? And he goes, Well, let me be I can put my drink in my pocket. Now. It was a fountain drink. It wasn't it Mm was hmm. it a bottle? And I'm like, No, no, no, no. We're not going to put that. I like, let me carry this to your car. This is one of these places like you eat in your car each summer, Yep. right? So let me carry this to your car for you. And I saw this woman smile and it was a simple little thing, but this is my point. But this, like, I would not have been able to focus on that. I would have been so focused on why my hot dogs, my meal was taking so long to get right. Like I was able to see this guy struggle. It was a short little thing. I walked over, he sat in his car and he, you know, we had a little conversation. I gave it to him. Boom. That's that's. As simple. As that. So now and again, there was a dozen other people around. Nobody else helped him. Nobody else offered to help him. Right. And I'm not this is not Mm hmm. this is not for Steve. This is me saying that I've done this program and it allows me to see how I might be able to help that person. All right. And and it just it just happened. And, you know, I walk. I did it. I felt great. You know, I got my you know, came up and I finally got my meal and, you know, had some and shared my hot dog with my dog. And we had a good old time and just came home. But the program and in having a program of sobriety throughout my whole life allows me to have that interaction with that gentleman. Whereas before, maybe I don't. Or maybe I watch him struggle and then drop everything on the ground and then, oh, maybe I should have helped them, right? I mean, like that's how it would have been. so it really is about me figuring out living this program throughout my life. And then like I said, when, when things get, you know, Timmy's not wrong, right? Mm hmm. But what Timmy is saying is that what you're saying is that, listen, I got to sleep apnea going on, plus I got this schedule going on. We talk about it all the time, that as life gets crazy, it calls for more AA, not Yep. less. AA. Right. And I think that's the point he making not so much about the sleep apnea part of it, but like the talk of, okay, the schedules are getting crazy. And I think he's saying, well, now's the time to buckle down AA to try to Mm hmm. keep. And that's true. I find that to be a true antidote like do more AA during these times and you'll get through that other stuff easier.

Matt: 12:24

Yeah, he's right. And I think the reading that he wanted you to read is probably the same one he sent to me.

Steve: 12:29

Oh yeah. Yeah.

Matt: 12:30

He wants

Steve: 12:30

Right.

Matt: 12:31

me to read this because he is Desiree's. Tell Yeah, me you will order this book, which yeah, I haven't yet. I said I would. I'll order it today. I'm willing. I am willing to have a spiritual reading. right. We talked a little bit off the air about spirituality and what you talked about with the gentleman, with the hot dog. This is part of spirituality Yeah. as the higher power sends a message. It always makes me feel good to do a good thing for somebody else. I think the only thing I would change, as you're saying it, it occurred to me, we can't ask somebody like that. Do you need help? We have to ask. Let me help you with that

Steve: 13:09

Well, I

Matt: 13:09

and

Steve: 13:09

finally

Matt: 13:10

grab

Steve: 13:10

did

Matt: 13:10

it.

Steve: 13:10

right the first time I said let me. You want me to help you with that? That's when he started putting stuff. And then finally I like, no, I like. Here, let me take this Mm to hmm. your car for you. I sort of told him, like, Let me take this to your car and

Matt: 13:21

Yeah.

Steve: 13:21

I'll tell you, the only thing I would have changed is I didn't realize I hadn't been to this place a long time. But at the end it's a sort of a long building.

Matt: 13:27

Yep.

Steve: 13:27

There's a Carvel ice cream store and a package store there. But on the other end of the building, there were some there was a little pavilion with some tables. And had I seen those, So I thought about going over there myself because he was going to sit in his car and eat how I got over there, the ideal thing would have been, Hey, why don't we go sit together and eat our meal together? Right? And I like I said, I didn't even notice. I ended up be mine in the car too, because I had the dog and all. But your point is absolutely right. It's it's just it's a connection that is spiritual in nature for me, right? It is. And we had a little conversation with this man. He told me, yeah, he woke up his car, you know, his wife's car woke up with a flat tire. You know, it just was this little interaction. It took about 2 minutes out of my day, Mm hmm. but it left an impression on me. And I think it probably left an impression on him that there's some nice people out there who, you

Matt: 14:23

Yes.

Steve: 14:23

know, who willing to help. So, you know, those sort of things, like I said, those are are things that having a program and making sure that I'm working my program and what a successful program looks like, those are the the things that happen in my life because of that, my program

Matt: 14:42

When we do things that are nice for other people, it is such a good feeling. We don't do it enough. And if I hadn't created a sober lifestyle, I wouldn't think of those things. I'm constantly looking for the opportunity to be nice to somebody else or to do something.

Steve: 14:59

right?

Matt: 14:59

It could very well be just being nice to the person at the grocery store. Absolutely I was at the grocery store yesterday and the the woman there had a headdress. And the only thing I can think of with her is I bet she gets a lot of crap. right. And it was really important to me look her in the eyes, smile and just be a kind human to this person. I hate to generalize, but I know how nasty this society can Yeah, be. And it just was important. But let me let her know that South Windsor is a nice place. right. Somebody else in in the store who is transgender? I am. I try to be as kind as I can to this person because I just know that there are people around here who are really crappy to people like Yeah, that. The people who are making lower wages, there are people who feel superior, I guess, overcoming their own, their own insecurity, and they put yeah. down other people. And that

Steve: 16:07

Yeah,

Matt: 16:07

really bothers me.

Steve: 16:10

yeah. It's a it's an uncomfortable place. It's something that I think we've seen. I've seen it. I've, I've participated. I won't say that. I've never participated in it. I don't anymore.

Matt: 16:20

Oh, I sure have.

Steve: 16:21

Right. So

Matt: 16:22

I've

Steve: 16:22

I mean

Matt: 16:22

been

Steve: 16:22

I

Matt: 16:22

a

Steve: 16:22

don't

Matt: 16:22

prick.

Steve: 16:22

and I don't consciously do it anymore, but the grocery store is one of those great places that we can we can put a sober lifestyle to use. I do a lot of stuff, you know, like I'm always looking for people. Like if I'm walking around, like somebody who might need help, whether somebody reaching something some for something. I mean, so many times I'm like, Hey, do you need help with that? You know? And I'll and again, I can be impatient at times, you know, I can be impatient. And and it's more directed at the store nowadays, right? There's so many of these stores have moved to this, you know, self self scanning thing. Yep. You know, I was in a stop and shop in Manchester and it's like and I was just in there for a little bit of stuff, you know? I mean, I know I get in there and it's like there's, there's two and I almost never I will go to the self self-checkout thing for a couple items if I'm in a hurry, but if I have a carry with me, if I have a basket, I'm going to a person, you know, a place where a person will do it for me. And there's an there's two cars, you know, there's two man cashiers open Yep. and there's four people on each line. And it's just like that irritates me because that's just a business decision, right? It's just Mm a hmm. business decision of, you know, no, we're going to try to force you to do it yourself. And that irritates me. So I've got to be careful with that kind of stuff. But again, it's it all it all boils down to how do I make this sober lifestyle and what does a sober lifestyle look like? Right. And it looks like me not being a dick no matter what the situation is, right? It's about me owning my own actions. So that I can, you know, be helpful rather than be part of the problem. You know,

Matt: 18:11

I

Steve: 18:11

my

Matt: 18:11

would say go ahead.

Steve: 18:13

nana, my, my, my buddy, my buddy Rick always says when I got here, I was a drain. He goes, Now I want to be a faucet, right? Like he Mm used hmm. to. You know, I get that, like, that little thing. Like, that's what I want to be. I want to be helpful. I want to be providing something rather than just suck sucking stuff out. So, it's. Listen, it's. It's hard. And it's hard in our society. It's hard where we are with a lot of aspects of our life. I don't know. It's a, it's a difficult thing, but it takes work and we need to continue to just, just work on it. Just keep working. It.

Matt: 18:53

This is where the woke mind virus burrows into my ear. Yeah. But it is sometimes hard to maintain a sober lifestyle interacting with big companies nowadays. You're absolutely Yeah. right. In the store calling in somewhere. As somebody who Okay. ate for a living handles the other end of that automated system, there's a lot of ways, you know, dealing with the insurance company. Mm. There's a lot of ways that companies have made it to the point where they incentivize bad behavior. And it is hard sometimes to maintain that. And this is also where Hulk comes in hungry, angry, lonely, tired.

Steve: 19:31

Right,

Matt: 19:31

You clearly getting those hot dogs were in the east, at least in the H, in the T,

Steve: 19:38

right,

Matt: 19:38

at the very least.

Steve: 19:39

right. Yeah. No, I get it. Absolutely. And, and again, even though I thought I'd do it, like, I still wanted to get home, even though I knew, like, you know, my wife loves to nap in the afternoon. I knew by the time I got home, she'd probably be either taking a nap or getting Mm ready hmm. to take a nap. So there was no hurry. But still, again, that's just some of my character defects. Being impatient, not being sometimes not being able to enjoy that moment. but I did. Like I said, it just, it turned out well for me and the end. You do have to be careful. I know those signs. I've had those signs before. I'm very much aware of making sure that I take care of the basic needs of myself. Right. Hungry and only tired to the most part. you know, I mentioned to you I'm doing a little bit of a volunteer thing. and part of it is it's in town. So new. It's a new thing they set up. It's, it's called. It's a tech center where they're going to do some classes for older adults, for online safety and stuff like that. But one of the things we've talked about is there's a and there is there's this big epidemic of loneliness going on. Right. Yep. And it's one of the and it's one of the things that I'm aware of. I don't suffer from it because I'm active. But, you know, I think about that little interaction I had with that older gentleman. I don't know how many interactions he has with other people. Right. He and he was like, listen, I'm not a young guy, but he was you know, I would say he was in his eighties, you know, I don't know how many other interactions he have. So it's important that when I have an interaction with another human being out there, that it's a positive one for as much as much as I can make it one. Right. And that's not always the way I want these interactions to go. Sometimes I want these interactions to be adversarial, depending on what. And so anyway, so it's all work. It's all work. And it's about, like I said, hi, you know, what's a what's a sober life look like? And a sober life. A sober life, A sober program looks like me being helpful rather than a problem. That's what it looks like to me.

Matt: 21:44

I'm trying to eat soberly, and Yeah. I'm realizing I have had weight issues since a kid, but I've Yeah, also had. I can go back as far as I can remember with this feeling of euphoria, eating too much like three, four, five. And I've got to change that. On the other hand, I also have to not beat myself up when I eat something unhealthy. This right, calorie counter has helped. I went to ABC Burger on Friday, but the family one of my favorite places, Grape burgers. And because of how I ate during the day, I had plenty of calories for that. And Right. then instead of fries, I swapped out a salad because quite frankly, fries for me are a conduit for ketchup. That's Yeah, the really only reason right, I eat them. But I'm also thinking every bite that I eat, I'm thinking through, why am I eating this? right, I have to go through that exercise because I've realized for too long I eat to get a feeling of euphoria, just like booze. And I got to think differently. It's the only way things are going to change for me. And because of some of the health issues that are right now really just warning signs, I got to get this right now and it is motivated me to get some exercise. Now, on the other side, I don't know if this is so behavior, but somebody at work pissed me off. Not for anything I did, but because they put me in a bad position in a meeting and we have a step challenge at work and this person was about 5000 steps ahead of me. And I made damn sure this week that that person was not going to win that step challenge. So I right. have gone out at every opportunity, even if it's 15 minutes to take a walk. And Yeah, the side effect of that's helped me. right. I'm getting healthier, I'm getting outside the motivated reason is a bit of a resentment that I'm not going to let this person win. And it has pushed And. me to do some of the right behaviors.

Steve: 23:46

Uh,

Matt: 23:47

But I have to tell you, I saw that she was ahead of me and I'm like, nope,

Steve: 23:51

you

Matt: 23:51

not

Steve: 23:51

know,

Matt: 23:51

going to happen now. It's not going to happen.

Steve: 23:53

it it's funny you say that, because I've done that, too, where I've been having some problems, either with my wife, usually with my wife. it'll push me one of two way that'll push me to self to do self destructive behavior, such as eat too much Mm hmm. or eat unhealthy stuff. Or it could push me into not screw it, I'm going to go to the gym, I'm going to work out, I'm going to get, you know, like I'm pissed off. Like it's done both for me. So, yeah, those little resentments, you know, that they're not always bad. It Yeah. Again you know, we can recognize them and there's good stuff and bad stuff. If you can take that as a challenge, it could push you into something that's healthy. Good. There's nothing. There's nothing all that harmful about something like that. So it's

Matt: 24:38

The

Steve: 24:38

all

Matt: 24:38

gym

Steve: 24:38

good.

Matt: 24:39

getting away from a resentment is a good thing.

Steve: 24:42

It is?

Matt: 24:42

I had this resentment. I'm not feeling good. I know a good half hour or 45 minute hour workout. Yeah. I can beat it out on the treadmill. I Yeah, can beat it out on the bench press. I will feel better and I will have a clearer mind when I come home. yeah. That's a great way to do it.

Steve: 25:00

There is no question that, that when you're feeling achy, like, if you can go put a good workout in and I mean a good one, like, you know, whatever. Mm And hmm. I should even say that if you can go put a decent workout in and do something, it's the old move, a muscle change, the thought thing, Mm hmm. it's sort of fits into that. That's saying and I don't think there's any question that for me it that works. it's always worked. so yeah, I mean it's, you know, that's how we build it. You build it block by block, right? We talk about, we build it block by block. The thing about you is that and what your current situation is like, you know it, right? I Mm hmm. mean, you know, we came out and you started talking about it right away. Like, you know, there's challenges ahead with the new schedule coming up. Yep. So therefore you're conscious of it and you're going to think about it, right? And you'll and you'll figure it out. And again, you know, it may mean that you you don't get to every meeting that you'd like to get to, but you'll figure it out and you'll make sure that things end. If not right, then people like, you know, we'll talk about it and I'm sure you'll talk about it if you one thing I know about you, Matt, and you're like me, like if you get squirrelly, you're going to call people, right? Yeah. You don't call you don't call people on a regular basis. And that's me too. But when you start getting squirrelly, you will pick up the phone and call people. And that's the important part of, you know, our program is to make sure that when we start feeling like things something's going sideways is that we pick up the phone and we do something about that. And plus you got the therapy going on. So you have a lot of good stuff that you're doing right now. Mm hmm. The part of that is, you know, I mean, again, you got to schedule the therapy in, right? I mean, you got to do that. You know, we've had to move our podcast a little bit around because of that. So things you know, life's busy, Like I said, at Yup. your age, with three kids at home, life is busy, man. and it's going to be busy for a while. So, it's just, it's just about, you know, building blocks, building blocks. Just keep building that stuff and making sure you have a sound foundation. And and listen, we're both blessed to have people like Timmy in our life. I Mm mean hmm. it right to somebody who's hasn't seen you and, you know, they reach out. Hey, what's

Matt: 27:10

Yep.

Steve: 27:10

up? Yeah, okay. You know that. Okay. You know, cause if you said no, I'm not okay, I'm going to tell you. Timmy would have said, Well, let's do something about that. All right,

Matt: 27:19

Yeah,

Steve: 27:19

let's

Matt: 27:19

absolutely.

Steve: 27:19

go. Let's go to a meeting. Let's get together, let's have coffee. Let's have, like, like there be some action behind that. It's Mm just hmm. not all, you know? So we're all we're blessed to have this. We're blessed to have those type of people in our lives. It's why I love this program is because, I know those people are out there for me to that, you know, when I, when I need help. I mean, do you know there's a slew of people who I could pick up the phone some of them I only know for the hour that I spend in the meeting with them. Mm hmm. Like, that's all I know I'm from. But if I call them up and ask them for help or ask them, Hey, listen, I need to talk to somebody. You got time for a cup of coffee or a bite to eat? They would make time for me Yeah. because I would do the same for them. And that is the wonderful thing about building a sober life, building a program, and then incorporating other people into that program. Because as we talk about it all the time, this you know, this is not if we could do this on our own, we wouldn't be doing what we're doing.

Matt: 28:23

Right.

Steve: 28:23

We wouldn't be doing a 12 step program that requires us to go to meetings and share with other alcoholics. If I didn't need to do that. Now, some of that again, is the fellowship, and I enjoyed doing that right. I enjoyed Timmy. I love going in, you know, but a lot of it is the fact that I need to, you know, and I was really, really tired Friday night. I mean, very tired. And I pick up my buddy Mike and we're going in and even Mike noticed that, like he could tell I wasn't talking, We weren't having our typical Mm hmm. but and I was and I'm making coffee for the month, so that means I got to be there at 6:00 for a 730 meeting. And, you know, and I don't leave that meeting until after nine. It's a long day for me. And, you know, I actually went there and we set everything up. I got the coffee going that we have. We have, you know, those brown padded chairs. And I put three of them together and laid down. And that's how I felt. I've never done that before. And matter of fact, I had some walked in about quarter to seven, cried like, oh, I got a good half an hour before anybody else comes in here and he comes in. I'm like, Oh, damn you, Edson. You know, now I got to get up, you know? my point is, is that I showed up for that commitment. I showed up Mm for hmm. that. I showed up for that meeting. And that's part of how I do that for me. And I felt fine by the time I left. I had I don't usually drink coffee at night, but I'm like, Oh, I think I'll have a half a cup of coffee. It's probably exactly what I needed, a

Matt: 29:53

Yeah.

Steve: 29:53

little bit caffeine boost and time I go home. I felt fine to go home. I even I even walked a dog, which I haven't been doing after meetings, but we were out like 930 quarter to ten, and I was outside walking the dog. it's listen, it's, it's a beautiful way. We have a great, we have a great program. And for anybody out there listening to it, it's a great program to help you in all aspects of your life.

Matt: 30:17

Yeah.

Steve: 30:18

What are we talking about? You know, we're talking about living life on life's terms today. You got a bunch of stuff in front of you. You got to figure out how to do it. Um, without getting crazy, because.

Matt: 30:28

Yeah. And you can.

Steve: 30:30

Yeah,

Matt: 30:30

You can get through all the crazy stuff. It doesn't have to be a perfect life every day. Doesn't have to be happy. But you can get through the unhappiness without needing a drink. You can get through the choppy waves and know that the choppy waves will end at some point, especially if your behavior changes. But you can get through life storm and know you'll come out the other side. Okay? And you don't need whether it's too much food or smoking a joint or a glass of beer, you don't need that. There are ways to get through it and that you're stronger and

Steve: 31:09

Yeah,

Matt: 31:09

now it's your turn. Boy, the audience has been very engaged. I am not coming prepared with some of the emails and stuff that I have been sent, but I'm getting emails at Sober Friends podcast where you can email me Matt at Sober Friends Pod or a direct message on Instagram, sober Friends Pod where I've been negligent just because I got to drop something. And if it's going to be that, it's going to be posting on social media, I can I can handle I'm good at I can handle what I can handle right now. And I'm not going to add on more than I can't,

Steve: 31:44

right. That's it.

Matt: 31:46

which is the tough stuff. All right. Thanks for I feel better this morning. I'm

Steve: 31:50

Yeah,

Matt: 31:51

off to be ready to have a great day today.

Steve: 31:54

me

Matt: 31:54

Thank

Steve: 31:54

too.

Matt: 31:54

you for this.

Steve: 31:55

Got yard work to do, which I've been avoiding. So. Out there. Yeah.

Matt: 31:59

Me too.

Steve: 32:00

And I got my buddy Mike coming over to give me a hand and, uh, he's like, Oh, do you want to work? And I'm like, Oh, I don't want to work, but yeah, come on to this planet. So get out there, do a little yard work, not too much. And yeah, enjoy the rest of the day.

Matt: 32:13

Yeah. And we'll see everybody next week by everybody.