Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
This podcast is a series of conversations.
What started as a series of intimate conversations between Ruth and David that ranged from personal to professional experiences around violence, relationships, abuse, and system and professional responses which harm, not help, has now become a global conversation about systems and culture change. In many episodes, David and Ruth are joined by a global leader in different areas like child safety, men and masculinity, and, of course, partnering with survivors. Each episode is a deep dive into complex topics like how systems fail domestic abuse survivors and their children, societal views of masculinity and violence, and how intersectionalities such as cultural beliefs, religious beliefs, and unique vulnerabilities impact how we respond to abuse and violence. These far-ranging discussions offer an insider look into how we navigate the world together as professionals, as parents, and as partners. During these podcasts, David and Ruth challenge the notions which keep all of us from moving forward collectively as systems, as cultures, and as families into safety, nurturance, and healing.
We hope you join us.
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Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
Season 3 Episode 13: What Domestic Violence Perpetrators Steal From Survivors
When we think about domestic violence only in terms of what is added (violence and danger) instead of what is taken away (safety, self-determination, quality of life), we fail to name some of the most profound effects of domestic violence perpetrators’ behaviors on survivors. In this episode, David and Ruth talk about what survivors often “lose” at the hands of domestic violence perpetrators and the importance of mapping perpetrators’ patterns to accurate documentation of harm, including what has been taken away.
Ruth and David also talk about how survivors describe perpetrators stopping them from being the parent and the person they could’ve been. They offer practical tips for practitioners about exploring these losses, including how to go beyond the question “Are you afraid at home?” They also offer validations for survivors’ experiences of loss and limits.
Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real
Check out David Mandel's new book Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform the Way We Keep Children Safe from Domestic Violence.
Visit the Safe & Together Institute website.
Start taking Safe & Together Institute courses.
Check out Safe & Together Institute upcoming events.