Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel

Season 5 Episode 5: A Trauma History is Not An Excuse for Acting Abusively

May 20, 2024 Ruth Reymundo Mandel & David Mandel Season 5 Episode 5
Season 5 Episode 5: A Trauma History is Not An Excuse for Acting Abusively
Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
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Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
Season 5 Episode 5: A Trauma History is Not An Excuse for Acting Abusively
May 20, 2024 Season 5 Episode 5
Ruth Reymundo Mandel & David Mandel

Send us a Text Message.

In this episode of Partnered with A Survivor, David & Ruth have an intimate discussion about how we can be emotionally &  behaviorally responsible even when we have been trained into fear & reactivity through violence & abuse.  David and Ruth discuss:

  • How we need to drop binary definitions in order to prevent abusers from  using their history of trauma as an excuse for  current behaviors of coercive control & violence. 
  • The importance of unlearning reactive behaviors that we came by 'honestly' through trauma
  • The importance of considering context, patterns of behavior and impacts on functioning  as part of the conversations about survivors' reactivity and use of violence  
  • The value of self-reflection on the impact of our behaviors when we are triggered back into a state of fear or defensiveness

If you like this episode you may be interested in:

Season 5 Episode 2: Women’s Use Of Force In Intimate Relationships: An Interview With Lisa Young Larance


Season 3 Episode 7: Understanding And Validating Survivors’ Acts Of Resistance


Season 2 Episode 11: “We Need A Revolution:” Integration Of Trauma Healing And Behavior Change For People Who Choose Violence

Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real

Check out David Mandel's new book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence."

Show Notes

Send us a Text Message.

In this episode of Partnered with A Survivor, David & Ruth have an intimate discussion about how we can be emotionally &  behaviorally responsible even when we have been trained into fear & reactivity through violence & abuse.  David and Ruth discuss:

  • How we need to drop binary definitions in order to prevent abusers from  using their history of trauma as an excuse for  current behaviors of coercive control & violence. 
  • The importance of unlearning reactive behaviors that we came by 'honestly' through trauma
  • The importance of considering context, patterns of behavior and impacts on functioning  as part of the conversations about survivors' reactivity and use of violence  
  • The value of self-reflection on the impact of our behaviors when we are triggered back into a state of fear or defensiveness

If you like this episode you may be interested in:

Season 5 Episode 2: Women’s Use Of Force In Intimate Relationships: An Interview With Lisa Young Larance


Season 3 Episode 7: Understanding And Validating Survivors’ Acts Of Resistance


Season 2 Episode 11: “We Need A Revolution:” Integration Of Trauma Healing And Behavior Change For People Who Choose Violence

Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real

Check out David Mandel's new book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence."