Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
Partnered with a Survivor is a professional-focused podcast created and produced by Ruth Reymundo and hosted by the Safe & Together Institute. What began as intimate conversations between Ruth and David Mandel—founder of the Institute and creator of the Safe & Together Model—about violence, relationships, abuse, and the systems that respond to them has grown into a global conversation about systems and culture change.
Hosted by Ruth and co-hosted by David, the podcast features in-depth, professionally grounded discussions about how institutions respond to domestic abuse, gender-based violence, and child maltreatment. Many episodes also feature global leaders working across fields such as child safety, men and masculinity, perpetrator accountability, fatherhood, and partnering with survivors.
Together, these conversations examine how systems often fail adult and child survivors, how societal narratives about masculinity and violence shape professional practice, and how intersectional realities—including cultural and religious beliefs, racialised identities, LGBTQ+ experiences, immigration status, disability, and other structural vulnerabilities—shape responses to abuse and violence.
The podcast offers an insider lens into how professionals navigate systems not only as practitioners, but also as parents and partners. Through candid dialogue and critical reflection, Ruth and David challenge the assumptions and structures that limit meaningful accountability, safety, and healing. The goal is collective movement across systems, cultures, and families toward greater safety, nurturance, and sustained change.
Disclaimer: Episodes contain sensitive topics and occasional mature language that may be difficult for some listeners. The views and opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the Safe & Together Institute or its staff.
Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
Season 3 Episode 4: Reproductive Coercion
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Part of a perpetrator’s pattern of coercive control, reproductive coercion is a common and powerful tool that is used to entrap and control victims using pregnancy and children. Forcing women to become pregnant and maintain a pregnancy has long-term implications for women and children’s lives.
Not only do adult survivors suffer the consequences, but children are used as pawns. In this way, reproductive control can be thought of as a form of child abuse and neglect. In many instances, domestic violence perpetrators do not become abusive until their partner is pregnant and unable to leave them easily or safely.
Against the backdrop of the recent leak of a draft from United States Supreme Court ruling attacking a women’s right to autonomy over their own bodies, David and Ruth discuss reproductive coercion in the context of domestic violence, including:
- Coercion and pressure to become pregnant or maintain a pregnancy
- Sabotage and manipulation related to birth control
- Control over the pregnancy and birth
In this sometimes raw, far-ranging conversation, Ruth and David examine the intersection of domestic violence and reproductive coercion; violence during pregnancy; history of the English judge, cited 9 times by Justice Alito in his draft ruling, who instructed juries not to believe women’s reports of rape; and the need for more work with men around pregnancy, reproductive respect, and birth control.
Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real
Check out David Mandel's new book Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform the Way We Keep Children Safe from Domestic Violence.
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