Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
These podcasts are a reflection of Ruth & David’s ongoing conversations, which are both intimate and professional and touch on complex topics like how systems fail victims and children, how victims experience those systems, and how children are impacted by those failures. Their discussions delve into how society views masculinity and violence and how intersectionalities such as cultural beliefs, religious beliefs and unique vulnerabilities impact how we respond to abuse and violence. These far-ranging discussions offer an insider look into how we navigate the world as professionals, as parents and as partners. During these podcasts, David & Ruth challenge the notions that keep all of us from moving forward collectively as systems, as cultures and as families into safety, nurturance and healing. Note: Some of the topics discussed in the episodes are deeply personal and sensitive, which may be difficult for some people. We occasionally use mature language. We often use gender pronouns like “he” when discussing perpetrators and “she” for victims. While both men and women can be abusive and controlling, and domestic abuse happens in straight and same-sex relationships, the most common situation when it comes to coercive control is a male perpetrator and a female victim. Men's abuse toward women is more closely associated with physical injury, fear and control. Similarly, very different expectations of men and women as parents and the focus of Safe & Together on children in the context of domestic abuse make it impossible to make generic references to gender when it comes to parenting. The Model, through its behavioral focus on patterns of behavior, is useful in identifying and responding to abuse in all situations, including same-sex couples and women's use of violence. We think our listeners are sophisticated enough to understand these distinctions.
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Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
Episode 11: Getting Inside the Mind of Men who Use Violence
In this podcast, David & Ruth get inside the mind of men who use violence and abuse. The Five Elements in the Profile of Abusive Men was developed to guide group interventions with domestic violence perpetrators. This "operational profile," which examines factors that sustain a perpetrator's pattern of coercive control, was developed during David's time with the Non-Violence Alliance and his work with perpetrators. David and Ruth look at how different forms of 1) Entitlement thinking that justifies coercive control. They examine how the emotional stem in abuse is not anger but may be 2) Avoidance of feelings of fear and powerlessness. They also examine how avoidance of 3) Acceptance of the damage done by abusive behavior keeps the perpetuating the behavior. They also discuss the role of 4) Structural inequalities and cultural forms of inequality in sustaining abuse. And how 5) Substance abuse and mental health issues need to be addressed but not used to excuse away the choices of perpetrators to harm their children, partner and families. David outlines how practitioners and even family and friends can use this profile to guide their interventions with perpetrators.
Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real
Check out David Mandel's new book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence."