Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
These podcasts are a reflection of Ruth & David’s ongoing conversations, which are both intimate and professional and touch on complex topics like how systems fail victims and children, how victims experience those systems, and how children are impacted by those failures. Their discussions delve into how society views masculinity and violence and how intersectionalities such as cultural beliefs, religious beliefs and unique vulnerabilities impact how we respond to abuse and violence. These far-ranging discussions offer an insider look into how we navigate the world as professionals, as parents and as partners. During these podcasts, David & Ruth challenge the notions that keep all of us from moving forward collectively as systems, as cultures and as families into safety, nurturance and healing. Note: Some of the topics discussed in the episodes are deeply personal and sensitive, which may be difficult for some people. We occasionally use mature language. We often use gender pronouns like “he” when discussing perpetrators and “she” for victims. While both men and women can be abusive and controlling, and domestic abuse happens in straight and same-sex relationships, the most common situation when it comes to coercive control is a male perpetrator and a female victim. Men's abuse toward women is more closely associated with physical injury, fear and control. Similarly, very different expectations of men and women as parents and the focus of Safe & Together on children in the context of domestic abuse make it impossible to make generic references to gender when it comes to parenting. The Model, through its behavioral focus on patterns of behavior, is useful in identifying and responding to abuse in all situations, including same-sex couples and women's use of violence. We think our listeners are sophisticated enough to understand these distinctions.
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Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
Episode 12: COVID-19: Helping families impacted by domestic abuse in a time of crisis
In the first of a series of COVID-19 specific podcasts, David and Ruth talk about how the dynamics of domestic abuse are changing in the context of the COVID-19. Talking to both professionals and family members, Ruth offers insights from her own history related to being isolated with her abusers. The discussion about how we can best continue to partner with survivors and intervene with perpetrators follows with examples and practical steps. In this podcast:
- Specific resources for immediate support for survivors across the North America, New Zealand, Australia and the UK
- An exploration of how perpetrators may be using the pandemic to increase coercive control, including increased monitoring of family members trapped by social distancing
- How children may be impacted by the intersection of the pandemic and living with an abusive parent
- Specific practice tips for partnering with survivors and intervening with perpetrators in the context of COVID-19 and social distancing
The episode also includes a preview of the steps that the Safe & Together Institute is taking to help professionals and families including a COVID-19 specific page on their website, upcoming COVID-19 practitioner lived experience webinars, and their new Virtual Academy to increase distance learning options during the crisis. This episode was also recorded in two parts on facebook live on our Safe & Together Institute Facebook page.
Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real
Check out David Mandel's new book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence."