Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
These podcasts are a reflection of Ruth & David’s ongoing conversations, which are both intimate and professional and touch on complex topics like how systems fail victims and children, how victims experience those systems, and how children are impacted by those failures. Their discussions delve into how society views masculinity and violence and how intersectionalities such as cultural beliefs, religious beliefs and unique vulnerabilities impact how we respond to abuse and violence. These far-ranging discussions offer an insider look into how we navigate the world as professionals, as parents and as partners. During these podcasts, David & Ruth challenge the notions that keep all of us from moving forward collectively as systems, as cultures and as families into safety, nurturance and healing. Note: Some of the topics discussed in the episodes are deeply personal and sensitive, which may be difficult for some people. We occasionally use mature language. We often use gender pronouns like “he” when discussing perpetrators and “she” for victims. While both men and women can be abusive and controlling, and domestic abuse happens in straight and same-sex relationships, the most common situation when it comes to coercive control is a male perpetrator and a female victim. Men's abuse toward women is more closely associated with physical injury, fear and control. Similarly, very different expectations of men and women as parents and the focus of Safe & Together on children in the context of domestic abuse make it impossible to make generic references to gender when it comes to parenting. The Model, through its behavioral focus on patterns of behavior, is useful in identifying and responding to abuse in all situations, including same-sex couples and women's use of violence. We think our listeners are sophisticated enough to understand these distinctions.
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Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
Episode 13: Mapping domestic violence perpetrator's use of COVID-19 pandemic to increase coercive control
In this episode Ruth & David outline an emerging checklist for professionals and families to help them map perpetrator's patterns of behavior in the context of the COVID-19 pandemic and our social response. The episode includes discussion of:
- How not collude with perpetrators who are using the pandemic as an excuse for their behaviors
- A checklist of things to consider when you are assessing for increased danger including changes in the perpetrators' levels of anxiety and depression and substance abuse
- A checklist of survivors' vulnerabilities that the perpetrator may be using against them
- How to continue to focus on survivors' protective efforts
- Steps to continue to partner with survivors in the current environment
This practical podcast is part of the free offerings that the Safe & Together Institute is rolling out during this period. Check out our COVID-19 specific page and our Virtual Academy.
Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real
Check out David Mandel's new book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence."