The pelvic floor, yes its important but do you know HOW to do your pelvic floor exercises? With Maryellen Reideren Ryder

After recieving loads of emails about the pelvic floor, and seeing it discussed even more online this week;

In this week's episode we are talking Pelvic Floor with the amazing MaryEllen Reider.

MaryEllen is the co-director of Yarlap, the wellness device to treat urinary incontinence and improve sexual performance and experience through muscle control. MaryEllen spends a lot of time researching and finding out what’s new in the pelvic floor world and the social media realm. 
She strives to empower women through their pelvic floor muscles. She enjoys getting to know her customers through social media and speaking events, and inspiring people about why the Kegel exercises and Yarlap are so important. 

 MaryEllen and her dad have emerged as a leading voice in the pelvic floor and sex tech wellness space and she's a delight to talk to so definitely check this episode out. 

As I say in the outro, I reckon the Yarlap could be a gamechanger for the pelvic floor.

We are talking about  many things including;
What is the pelvic floor and why is it so important?
Why, oh why, are pelvic floor exercises so difficult to do for most women?


You can find MaryEllen, and Yarlap in all the usual places.

Her website
Instagram
And Facebook

 Email peter@healthypostnatalbody.com if you have any questions or comments or want me to interview a specific person

As always; HPNB still only has 5 billing cycles.

So this means that you not only get 3 months FREE access, no obligation!

BUT, if you decide you want to do the rest of the program, after only 5 months of paying $10/£8 a month you now get FREE LIFE TIME ACCESS! That's $50 max spend, in case you were wondering.

Though I'm not terribly active on  Instagram and Facebook you can follow us there. I am however active on Threads so find me there!  

Transcript

Peter: 0:01

Hey, welcome to the Healthy Postnatal Body Podcast with your postnatal expert, peter Lap. That, as always, would be me. This is the podcast for the 21st of July 2024. And you know, the day before music means I have a guest, but this week it's another From the Vault, but in a different way.

Peter: 0:17

I had a lot of questions and seen a lot of stuff about the pelvic floor. I've seen a lot of it online and I did an interview a long time ago with Mariellen Ryder, who is the co-director of Yarlap, which is like a wellness device for your pelvic floor, and this is we spoke about. The issue that a lot of women have is in yeah, you know you need to do your pelvic floor exercises, but how do you, how should you be doing them and what should it feel like? Most people have, most women have no idea what it should actually feel like, and you know Mary Ellen is one of the leading voices in this type of pelvic floor and sex tech sort of wellness space and she's a delight to talk to. You know you want to check this one out. This is going to be for a lot of you.

Peter: 1:07

When the episode first came out was a game changer, so hopefully, if you're listening to this for the first time and you probably are then you know you're gonna love this one. So here we go, the pelvic floor. So what does it actually do? And why should someone who's given birth to you not actually care about it? I mean, you have so many other things that you want to do and could be doing and, let's be honest, nobody can be bothered exercising after giving birth, right?

MaryEllen: 1:52

Right, you have another life form to take care of. So the last thing that you're doing is going.

MaryEllen: 1:58

I'm going to go do this exercise, especially an exercise that's extremely difficult to do, especially as a woman exercise, especially an exercise that's extremely difficult to do, especially as a woman, because we have no visual aid that we can physically see the muscle doing what it is actually supposed to be doing or if we're actually using the correct muscle group.

MaryEllen: 2:14

Oftentimes women will use different parts, but the pelvic floor exercises are really important because they keep your bladder, your uterus and your visceral organs into their natural position.

MaryEllen: 2:30

So during pregnancy and childbirth, obviously everything shifts and there's a lot of pressure on your bladder, there's a lot of pressure on your pelvic floor muscles themselves and sometimes they atrophy or during childbirth they'll go through this trauma and they weaken, and so you really want to make sure that you maintain or you regain that control of that pelvic floor muscle so that you're able to regain and maintain that bladder control so you don't have this like I laugh, sneeze, cough and I pee myself a little bit or you have all of a sudden, like lackluster sex, that kind of a situation. So it's really important. The pelvic floor, in my opinion, is basically the foundation of everything. It's really important to keep all of those body parts into where they are supposed to be, so you don't have your back trying to compensate, your knees trying to compensate this load. So it's really important to keep not only like a sexual health aspect, but also bladder control and just overall wellness and body pain alleviation essentially. So the pelvic floor muscle is integral to all of those.

Peter: 3:37

Yeah, it's interesting, right, because we see a tremendous amount of ads on Tilly these days for 10LAD and all those sort of products, basically female diapers, right, and it used to be when you saw ads like that, there was usually a woman clearly in her 60s or 70s advertising these things. The ads these days all have women in their 30s and 40s, so they've clearly decided, you know there's a market for this stuff because postpartum, like you said, you have a bit of leakage, you have a slightly weaker pelvic floor and everybody kind of knows a friend who's given birth or everybody knows a story of someone who knows someone who's given birth that says, yeah, I just pee myself a little bit when I laugh, but that is just the price I have to pay for having my beautiful baby boy or my beautiful baby girl or whatever. That is completely normal these days, right.

MaryEllen: 4:39

Yes, and it's infuriating because it's not the natural step, it is not this next step or something that you have to live with, and I think that for women, we're basically trained to suck it up and just what it is is what it is and you're going to have to deal with it. And when it comes to paying yourself, that is not something that is supposed to happen naturally. It is your pelvic floor being weakened and again it's just your body saying like I need help gaining tone or I need control help. Please focus on this muscle group. And when you have had a child, most women are basically just told do your Kegel exercises here's a pamphlet, Good luck. And when it comes to these exercises, specifically Kegel exercises, well over 50% of women who try to do these exercises do them incorrectly, even with written instruction. So it's almost like we are set up for disaster or failure from the get-go because we don't know. Most women don't even know that these pelvic floor muscles exist until they're pregnant or trying to conceive or postpartum and even more, sometimes they don't even know it afterwards, and so they get this pamphlet and they go. This is not even in the top 100 things that I need to be focusing on right now and they ignore it. And so when they try to do it again, they have absolutely, sometimes they have absolutely no control over these, these muscle groups, and that signal from your brain to your muscle is jumbled and lost groups. And that signal from your brain to your muscle is jumbled and lost. So you can't do it and you need help from either a device or physical therapist or something like that to help you regain this control. And who has time for that? Who has time for that? It's, it's, it's crazy and in my, in my opinion, it's a little heartbreaking and rude, but but but it's really important to keep and maintain that control of that, of that muscle.

MaryEllen: 6:54

And again, it's so hard because really, the way that we're able to tell it naturally is a lot of times women are told stop your pee midstream. Well, your toilet is not a gym, so you should not be doing that every time you pee, because that can lead to other issues. For some women it can lead to UTIs and stuff like that. So it's not a long-term solution. It's just for you to kind of test to see maybe if you need to go and talk to somebody. It's not something where you should be doing it every single time you go to the bathroom. That's not how that goes.

MaryEllen: 7:33

So when you try to do these, a lot of times you'll do like an Oxford test, which is to stick a finger inside your vagina to see if you can clasp it. And you're not going to want to do that when you're at a stoplight or when you're sitting with friends or when you have anybody else there, or sometimes even when you're alone. You just have absolutely no desire to do that. But that's the real gauge to see if you have that, uh, that control. Can you what? Can you grasp that finger? Or do you have absolutely no control down there? Or is it extremely hard to insert it and you have a hypertoned pelvic floor?

MaryEllen: 8:13

There's all these different things where I think we are just taught once you have a baby, you pee yourself. That's how it is, suck it up no need to anybody. And in reality that's not true. Talk to somebody, Talk to your physician, Talk to your licensed healthcare professional, Figure out where you are and then get the help and the tools that you need to stop peeing yourself, because you don't need to be peeing yourself. It is something that can be remedied fairly quickly if you have the right tools and information.

Peter: 8:50

Yeah, no, that's what I always say. I put it in the bracket of yeah, it's common, but it's not right. It happens to a lot of people, but that doesn't mean it is how things should be.

MaryEllen: 9:04

Yeah I am doesn't mean it is how things should be. Yeah I am, yeah I so. So after starting with your lap, I well before it, actually I thought that peeing yourself when you laugh, sneeze, coughed or like, had this sudden urge was something that only grandmothers had an issue with, and going down like this rabbit hole. I found out that my friends in my 20s had this issue and they just thought that it was normal because incontinence only happened to older people. Well, that's not true. And the more I kind of studied it, the more I'm into your lab, the more I realize that it's just this notion of just because it's common, it's normal and that's not true. And so we're trying to kind of break that cycle.

MaryEllen: 9:46

And at baby showers I am now notorious for bringing a PowerPoint. I have a PowerPoint on a key chain and a little USB. It's about 15 minutes long and it goes through what the pelvic floor is, why it's important, and I have these animated figures of clitorises and vulvas that are in every single slide and seeing these grandmothers and mothers, their jaws drop, but nobody listens as intently as they do. And then we talk about yeah, and then we talk about like sex, we talk about the G spot and the A spot and all these different things, and they're just sitting there just just curiously listening and at the end they're just like how do we, how do we do this? And I'm like this is not a sponsored product PowerPoint. This is just me trying to tell you like, go see somebody go talk to is not, this is not normal. You are. It's so easy to fix and if the yard lab happens to be that tool, um be that, perfect pairing, wonderful. But just talk to somebody about it, because there's no shame in it no, exactly it's, it's.

Peter: 11:02

It's one of those, um, one of those things that I always tell people listen the doctor. So when you give a birth in the UK, you get given indeed you get given a pamphlet, or they send you a baby box or whatever they call it. Get your GP checkup and they will say you can start exercising again. Whatever that means, they don't qualify the exercise, they just say, technically, you can do stuff. The leaflet also says after two weeks you can start your pelvic floor exercises again, and I always think that's interesting that they say that, because that's how they phrase it After two weeks, you can start your pelvic floor exercises again, and I bet you almost any money that, if I ask women in their, say, early 20s, so who might be contemplating having kids, or who are not even considering having kids yet, if I ask them, so what are your pelvic floor exercises? They have no idea what I'm talking about, right, because that is just not, it's not on their radar at all, from my experience. And then, indeed, during your antenatal classes, these things come up oh, remember to do your pelvic floor exercises? Well, yeah, sure, I will, but they still have no idea because nobody and the same goes for guys with regards to their pelvic floor at least. We don't know what it's supposed to feel like, as in what it genuinely is supposed to feel like, how each muscle interacts with each other muscle.

Peter: 12:32

We kind of know from what you described, from Kegels, we kind of know that idea of just stop your pee midstream, but is that really what the exercise is? Because I would personally beg to differ. You know what I mean. That is not just. It's not just squeeze you up, because it's like what you said earlier on. Uh, I had a client that had, um, a personal training client with diastasis recti postpartum, and her problem wasn't so much that it was weak, it was that it was way too tight. She just couldn't release her pelvic floor at all. She had no idea how to do it, she just and her problem wasn't so much that it was weak, it was that it was way too tight, she just couldn't release her pelvic floor at all. She had no idea how to do it. She just thought, the more I squeeze, the better it is. That was what she picked up from that leaflet Because, like you said written instructions don't really work all that well.

MaryEllen: 13:24

Yeah, and I think a lot of people again, when they hear pelvic floor exercise they don't know, or if they do, they associate with the Kegel exercise.

MaryEllen: 13:32

But, that's not the only one that is should be utilized. There's also, again, the relaxation one, which is just as important and I think it's never talked about really. Um, that everybody just believes clenching, clenching, clenching. But if you have again a hypertoned pelvic floor clenching and already clenched muscles not going to do anything, in fact it can go in the opposite direction and you're just going to fatigue and overwork this muscle and you're going to be in a weirder position. And so you have to learn how to relax and also clench this pelvic floor muscle.

MaryEllen: 14:12

And during childbirth, relaxation is really important and you kind of want to have muscle memory at that point, because when somebody, when something is trying to exit your body and there are people staring at you down there there, the last thing that you're going to be doing is thinking relax, relax, relax. That is the last thing that you are thinking of. You are thinking of I have never felt this much pain, am I going to poop myself? Yeah, and like those are the things that you're not thinking about. Relaxing, this is the least relaxing environment I can think of. Um, and so it's really important to have that ability to have muscle control, to relax on command or have that muscle memory to know what to do to help ease that process.

MaryEllen: 14:55

Um, but we never talk about it, and for women, we don't even know again where these muscles are. So when we use the Kegel exercises, we end up using our rear end, our thighs or our abs, and if you're using those, you're not using your pelvic floor muscles, you're not getting the benefits that you're reading about. So oftentimes they will blame the exercise for not working, but in reality we weren't. We weren't ever using the exercises correctly to begin with, and just like any other muscle, when you are exercising, the way that you do it, the posture and the performance of it is integral. So if you're again not using the right muscles, you're not going to get the benefit, and so it's really hard to engage the correct muscle when it is so deeply isolated up inside your body that devices like the YARLAP are really good because it goes in and it isolates the muscle for you and it takes all that guesswork out for you.

MaryEllen: 15:53

And I think that that's really important, because that's where a lot of the hiccup is is when we'll say I'm doing the Kegel exercises, but I still pee myself. Well, you were doing them, you wouldn't be paying yourself, right? That's the idea. Is that to prevent or to treat that issue? And so I think that there is a lot of misunderstanding. So, again, talking to somebody and being open about your health is so important, especially to your GP, your physician, your licensed healthcare professional. Being open and honest, like is this normal? Is this, is this normal? No, it's not Okay. How do we correct it? What do I need to do to correct it? And then that kind of leading that, that line of thought to your overall wellness journey, because you don't want to be peeing yourself and leaking from every orifice of your body.

Peter: 16:44

Oh no, absolutely no, absolutely it's, it's. I know it sounds stupid because it sounds so simple, right, and you don't want to pee yourself off a given book, but too many people just put up with it or that, or and I've had this conversation a lot with people they say, yeah, I just don't go out to come.

MaryEllen: 17:07

I used to go to comedy clubs, but I don't go out to comedy clubs anymore. I get. I don't go trampolining and I don't go to exercise class. They don't, they no longer go to the gym because they know as soon as they go they're going to pee themselves. So they don't want to even worry about that shame and I'm like don't toilet train yourself. Fix the problem at its root and get on with your life. There's no need to shun activities that you loved because of this.

Peter: 17:36

That is one of the most common things I see. When I still have my own gym, I know they do that. I mainly do home PT now. So I go to people's houses and train them because I found out when I have my own gym that you know it seems rather obvious in hindsight, but if you do postnatal stuff, people don't like schlepping their baby halfway across town, making sure, hoping the baby sleeps, and then schlepping them all the way back again. So because that means it takes an hour-long session, takes two hours and you know, good luck trying to keep a relatively newborn quiet for two hours. Um, so I do home pt now.

Peter: 18:12

But the amount of women I trained that was like I would just run quickly, run to the toilet just before the session started because they were just concerned about them peeing themselves. And I already don't do impact exercise anyways. That's kind of not what I do. Uh, because early postnatal training kind of avoids that anyways, for exactly that reason. But then when I spoke to them about it, or when I, when I, when I talk to them about it, or when I talk to them about it and say something along the lines of so are you doing your pelvic floor exercises Quite regularly.

Peter: 18:47

The answer would be what are you talking about? Or no, because I don't have time for that. Or I don't know how to, because the healthcare professional that they've seen is not necessarily a pelvic floor specialist, or they were just given a leaflet like what you said, or they've just kind of. If you see a standard physio, they might not be able. They might be able to describe what a Kegel exercise is, but they don't necessarily know how to teach you how to do one. And that is why I'm interested in this YOLO thing, because it's kind of like a. It takes the guesswork out of it, doesn't it?

MaryEllen: 19:27

Yes, it does. That was actually what it was designed for. So my dad and I are the co-founders of it and he helped design a similar unit for the national healthcare system in Britain, Germany, France, Scandinavia, that they get postpartum but nothing, but nobody's really aware of it, and in the United States they don't even offer it, that's not even. They essentially give like a photo copy, piece of paper and go good luck. Also like keep your child alive, You're going to be great, See you later. And you're just, and then you're just kind of floating, You're thinking you're overwhelmed and again, like when you are overwhelmed, you're not going to try something new from a piece of paper for this exercise. You are exhausted, you're tired and you have no idea what they're talking about. So it's going to be the first thing that you ignore, understandably, but it shouldn't be and it shouldn't be like that. But again, it's so hard for somebody to describe to you an exercise that is completely internal that you can't see and it's so, so private, and so, again, that's where, like, the Yardlock comes is.

MaryEllen: 20:51

it takes away that guesswork of am I using it the right way? Am I doing it for the right amount of time? Am I using the right muscle group? Yes, yes and yes, and it's just you just sit there, you can, you can pump, you can feed, you can do whatever. You can sit and watch a movie or a tv show, and it's just all going to be taken care of for you.

Peter: 21:11

you don't need to think about it, it's all going to be done for you so, yeah, that sounds very handy, but we don't have to keep it all the way in, all the way through the movie, right? No, it's 20 minutes.

MaryEllen: 21:21

So no, no, I mean, sometimes we do. We have to keep it all the way in, all the way through the movie, right? No, it's 20 minutes. So no, no, I mean, sometimes we do. We have some people who actually accidentally fall asleep, um, and the rlp. The rlp has a bunch of safety features in it so it just automatically stops once it's done. But we will have calls and they'll be, they'll say you know to that is it, is it bad? I left it in and then I fell asleep and I took a nap and I think, no, you're fine, it's absolutely fine. I would just never think of falling asleep. But also, again, I'm not to the point of that exhaustion.

Peter: 21:54

Exactly yeah.

MaryEllen: 21:56

So I'm sympathetic and you're fine If you accidentally fall asleep. You're good, nothing's wrong. Nothing's wrong, nothing bad's going to happen, you're going to be fine, but it's. It's crazy that this isn't a part of, like, the natural progression of postpartum. It's just like again, you got, and some people don't even. I have friends who don't even get a pamphlet. They're just told do your Kegel exercises, we'll see you in a few weeks, or we'll see you at your child's one month checkup, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the mother. The mother gets one checkup afterwards at six weeks to see, and if everything is fine, they're great. If not, they'll come back and do a follow-up. But that's very rare, and so it kind of goes from being revolving around the mother and the baby to just being about the baby. But we kind of forget that the mother needs a lot of help. She needs that support. So how do we integrate that? How do we make it not daunting and not overstimulating, because she's already?

Peter: 23:11

so overwhelmed?

Peter: 23:12

Yeah, no, but that's absolutely. The whole postpartum thing never ceases to amaze me, to be honest, which is why I do this, Because the system has always been. I mean pre prenatal, during antenatal classes, people still at least have the pretense to care a little bit about the woman. Um, as soon as the baby's out, nobody really cares anymore. And even in most antenatal classes, women's postpartum health never comes up. But this baby postpartum health.

Peter: 23:47

In the UK, most of the classes are run by a charity whose main focus is breastfeeding and all that sort of stuff. That is kind of what they they're I mean. They they mean well, and then they run excellent classes, but the focus is on the baby. How do you take care of the baby? Then there's one half a module out of nine classes. That is a little bit about the now.

Peter: 24:13

Don't forget about your partner, ladies, because he might feel neglected, or she might feel neglected, and there isn't a bit on, by the way. Afterwards you're going to feel like a train wreck and there might be loads of stuff wrong with you, and this is how you cope with it. Most women I speak to don't know that. For instance, the reason for your six-week checkup being at six weeks is because, up until the three to four week stage, your hormonal levels are all over the shop, or at least in the uk. This is, this is one of the reasons why it's at six weeks. I don't want to speak for any other countries. Other countries are better. Um, genuinely, some of france is on top of it with this stuff. Um, and I have some listeners in france that would email in saying, no, we're fine, what are you talking about? Um, so in the uk?

Peter: 25:00

Basically, six weeks because your hormonal levels are all over the place for three to four weeks and therefore the question that you get at six weeks is so, are you planning on killing yourself? Right? That is kind of what it boils down to. Uh, do you suffer from postpartum depression? Are you feeling? Okay? That's the only question women get asked at three weeks or four weeks. The answer, the the likelihood of a woman saying answering yes to that question is significantly higher than it is at six weeks.

Peter: 25:30

Um, and that's why the six-week checkup is at six weeks, because otherwise, you know there's there's a problem that we might have to fix, right? If you ask that question at three weeks and someone says well, actually I'm feeling really, really bad. You can't say, well, see me in three weeks' time, right? Because then if something happens you're on the hook, whereas if you ask at six weeks, I say, no, actually I'm fine now, you've just left them to it for the first three to four weeks. But it's interesting when you say, um, then if everything fine is fine at six weeks, you get left to it. But no one has ever been fine at the six week stage physically. No one's ever fully recovered at the six week stage. I don't know anyone. 80 of women still have diastasis recti at the six week stage. At least our eight week weeks.

MaryEllen: 26:21

Um yeah, well, even if you go through like a my, like a not minor surgery, but if you go through a, a regular, routine surgery, you have much more time to heal than six weeks. And and here we are, we're pushing a baby out of our vaginas, there's a gaping hole in our uterus and you get six weeks and that's it. There's no, there's no follow-up, there's no um real support or something like that. So a lot of women end up going to like Facebook groups, um to hear other people's stories and those are well-intended as well but that's not talking to your doctor, that's not talking to a licensed medical professional who knows the anatomy and your hormones and how everything is supposed to naturally heal.

MaryEllen: 27:14

And a lot of times they will end up telling you oh yeah, I pee myself when I leak, or I pee myself when I go to the gym, get like really nice tight black pants and you're like, no, no, that is, I get it and that is you're being kind, but that is not going to fix the issue. That the fixing the issue is going to be doing your pelvic floor exercises how they are intended to be, whether that is relaxation or clenching or both, and give yourself some grace because you push something out and it is very traumatic. It is and I'm not talking like a mentally, because it could be some people that you have terrible birth stories, but it's just it. Anatomically speaking, it is a traumatic event. It is very hard on your body, um. So give yourself a little bit of break. If you don't bounce back immediately, or if something happens, talk about it, talk, communicate yeah, no, absolutely so.

Peter: 28:18

how soon? So how so? Obviously've, like you said, you've just given birth and two weeks later you feel a little bit better. But can we, when can you actually start to use? Because they say after two weeks you can start your pelvic floor exercises again if it feels okay is always the caveat that we put in the little pamphlets over here when, at which stage are you ready, postpartum, to use the Yarlop? Because of course you're inserting something again, right? So at which stage is? Is it okay to go? Okay, this is now a good idea, or should we wait a little bit longer? Is it still the two week stage?

MaryEllen: 29:01

No. So we say that you have to be cleared for exercise because you want to make sure everything internally is healed. You don't want to be inserting something when there's like a hole for a tear or something like that. So once you've been cleared for exercise, everything is healed and that's usually again at that six-week mark. That's when we come into play and that's where we really shine actually is is postpartum re-education of the pelvic floor muscles. That's where we as our bread and butter cool and it's, it's that.

Peter: 29:36

So this means obviously, listeners, um, good people. You have to advocate for yourself at that six week checkup, right? You have to ask, you have to make sure that the doctor actually checks you out. Well, that usually happens in the UK, and again, france is different, and so is Holland and so is Germany, but yeah, and in the UK the six-week checkup is also the one for your baby, and most GPs are massively overrun and they're really, really busy and they only see, out of the 2,500 to 3,000 patients they see every year, only five or six are postpartum, so they're not that familiar with it.

Peter: 30:20

It's not like the common cold, which I see 50 examples of every single day, so to speak. It's not like the common cold, which I see 50 examples of every single day, so to speak. But what happens quite regularly is that during that six-week checkup, your baby gets a checkup and then there is a quick question at the end. That is so how are you doing? Whereas what you're talking about signing someone off for exercise kind of implies that there is some sort of physical examination happening. Do you know what I mean? And I obviously get this a lot because I've got my health postnatal body website, where I ask the same question have you been cleared for exercise before starting the exercise program? Have you been cleared?

MaryEllen: 31:01

and everybody goes, yes, yeah, but the doctor has no idea what he's talking about right, because there's no, there's not a, because, again, it's more of a q a at that point, at that six week mark, it's not and they're not. You're not in stirrup, they're not checking you out down there, they're not looking at anything, it's more of, uh, you doing, okay, he's still bleeding, um, is he latching correctly or is she is? Are they latching correctly? And it's, again, more focused on you and baby than it is on you postpartum um, wellness, mentality, situation. And so it's like are you, how do you, how do you feel? Are you okay, okay, good.

MaryEllen: 31:45

Next question it's more of a Q and a um, but if you've been cleared to exercise, cleared to have sex, clear for something to be inserted into your vagina, um by your healthcare professional, that's where, again, where we come in Um, cool, because it is a. It's a vaginally inserted device that you use for 20 minutes a day, three to five days a week. It's not something that you um have in place permanently, it's not anything like that. It's just a 20 minute device, um, three to five days a week, to do everything for you. And again, you can be pumping, you can walk around, you can lie down, sit down, whatever you want to do Um, because we know that most women don't have time can lie down, sit down whatever you want to do, um, because we know that most women don't have time to lie down completely flat. Staying still for 20 minutes a day, that's just. That's not how most, that's not how our routines are no, exactly, and it's interesting.

Peter: 32:40

So okay, so that's early postpartum, and we all know right, the sooner you get into this, after your first kid, six weeks postpartum in an ideal world every woman would start their recovery at that stage. Realistically, we know and I know from my personal experience and I know from the many, many surveys I've done on this is that most women come to me at at least after their second or third child. After the first, everything and I'm air quoting here for the listeners bounced back, naturally, right, Bounced back in no time. They had no idea. It kind of just felt okay-ish. After the first, the first one you kind of get away with. Do you know what I mean?

Peter: 33:23

You have your first baby you'res and it feels fine, the belly looks okayish. You know you're not peeling yourself after the first one necessarily most most women. It's the second and the third that really mess you up, um, but that is mainly because you don't really have, you haven't really fully recovered between the first and the second and the second and the third and all that. So I always say it's never too late to start your postpartum recovery. You can be 50 or 60. I think the same goes for using the yala, because if you're 60 years old and you still have pelvic forward problems, this thing still works oh, yeah, we do.

MaryEllen: 34:04

Um, we have people we actually have somebody in their 90s, we have a lot of people in their 80s who are just like I'm so done with this. How do I fix it? Um, and like, am I too old? No, you're never too old to have your muscles learn how to work properly. Um, or properly again.

MaryEllen: 34:24

And I think again after the first baby, everything shifts, but it's like a. It's a. It's a non-noticeable shift or not noticeable enough where it's raising any alarms or like any red flags. You're just like I feel a little different, but like clearly nothing's falling, like I don't. I, you know, if I go to the gym class, I'm fine. Maybe every third or fourth class I'll pee myself, but like it's not, it is what it is, you just brush it off lightly. And then the second, and by the third one, you're like what is happening, like this is not, as that third baby just and I I'll air quote, this time we get a lot to say, I quote wrecked me and it's just like well, it's just like well it's been, like it's kind of got the ball ball has been rolling for a while and that you got to, you got to take care of yourself and again, it's so hard to do. But we get a lot of people who will be in their 40s, 50s who are like what is happening?

MaryEllen: 35:23

Um this isn't what I used to do when I was younger. Um, am I okay? We have people who are in like, uh, the throes of menopause as well. So, as every, we get women of all ages, uh, who are trying to regain that pelvic floor strength and do so. But we do get a lot of the questions of am I too old for this? Or the one that stumps me the most is always when I get that do I have a pelvic floor? Everybody has a pelvic floor yeah.

MaryEllen: 36:00

So, yes, you do have a pelvic floor. Yes, you are able to regain that tone. Where are you? Do you need to learn how to relax? Do you need to learn how to clench? Where are you? So we can figure out exactly what you need to do to regain that tone.

Peter: 36:17

Yeah, and for that I always say your first visit. If you have any sort of pelvic floor issues indeed, when you're talking hypertonic or whether you're talking not full-on prolapse but you know, borderline prolapse sort of situations do get it checked out by a healthcare provider. Just get a mommy MOT, even if you're in your 50s or 60s. In the UK we have these things called mommy MOTs that you have to pay for yourself. We don't provide them, don't be silly. There's just a group of pelvic health physios that basically they call it a mommy MOT. You pay your 40, 50 quid or whatever it is, and they have a look and they say, ok, this works, this is what your issue is. They at least help you identify what the problem is and then they give you a leaflet and tell you to go away because you know we're not actually solving the problem, we're just diagnosing, diagnosing.

Peter: 37:15

But you know, knowledge is power and at least if you have the diagnosis then you can go to yourlabcom or one of the other ones and you say this is what I need, because at least you have the actual information there that can help. Because every physio in the world, every sensible physio in the world, is exactly like what you just said A muscle can always be strengthened up. People can wake up out of comas after 20 years and they get their muscle functionality back, simply because their muscles. That's what they do. You start training them and all of a sudden they start strengthening up.

MaryEllen: 37:56

Exactly, and I think the most important thing and you said this earlier is be your own advocate. There's no shame and there's a lot of shame when it comes to urinary incontinence or, like you know, lack of an orgasm or something is wrong with your. You know, something doesn't feel right in the body and we're just kind of told to shut up and suck it up. But there's no shame in trying to better yourself, better your health and your overall quality of life. So be your own advocate, because nobody's going to know exactly what's going on with you except you. So go in there and talk about it, because I can guarantee you it's not going to be the first conversation of the day that they've had about this.

Peter: 38:39

Yes, and especially when you're talking to your, of course, your healthcare professionals, your healthcare professional they have heard way more disgusting things than whatever you're going to throw on the table. That is what I always say. I train a lot of GPs and surgeons and really some of the stories I hear that is just insane. So you saying it's sore whilst I have sex or I pee myself or whatever? That is not this. It doesn't even register on their embarrassment scale. It's embarrassing for you, but it's not embarrassing for them. Is what I'm saying, right? Um, if you're working with anybody who's at all in the postpartum field, then it is just a standard conversation. Doesn't matter whether you're, whether it's a personal trainer or a physio or whatever. Vagina isn't a dirty word at the best of times, but postpartum it is the most commonly used word, I think, during my pt sessions yeah, absolutely I mean yeah it's like the it's the main event.

MaryEllen: 39:43

It's the. It's the main event, it's the main actor in this show. So yeah, it will. There's no. Whatever you bring, it's not going to be the word. They're not even going to bat an eye. You say this and it's going to be very uncomfortable for you, but it is what it is.

Peter: 40:05

And it'd be uncomfortable, goes away after two minutes, once you realize ah, I can have a conversation about this without which might be difficult with your friends, right, but with a professional who knows what they're talking about, not so much at all.

MaryEllen: 40:22

Right. A body part's a body part.

Peter: 40:24

Yes, exactly, it's the same as an arm. As in. People come to me and say, ah, I've got my pelvic floor. That's the same as someone telling me my biceps aren't big enough. Okay, let's fix that Exactly.

MaryEllen: 40:37

Exactly Cool.

Peter: 40:39

So on that happy note, was there anything else you wanted to touch on?

MaryEllen: 40:44

No, I think that we covered everything.

Peter: 40:46

Awesome. Well, on that happy note, I will press stop recording, and press stop record is exactly what I did. Thanks very much to Mary Ellen for coming on. That was a wonderful chat. I really enjoyed that. Like I said, she is the co-director of Yarlap. That is Yankee Alpha Romeo, lima, alpha Papa. You can go to yarlapcom. I will obviously link to the website and her Instagram and Facebook page and all that.

Peter: 41:11

I think this is one of those devices that could well be a game changer. It is like I said in the intro. It's a bit like the electric toothbrush. For all accounts. An electric toothbrush is not necessarily better than a standard toothbrush, as in a standard toothbrush can also do the job as well, but then an electric toothbrush takes the mistakes out of it, takes the human element of making mistakes out of it, and that is huge, especially for an area where you don't really know what things should feel like and that is difficult to control.

Peter: 41:51

So, like I said, I think this could potentially be a very could be a life or at least health-changing device for many, many people, and I think it's worth checking out. That's all I'm saying, and you know I don't get paid for recommendations or anything like that right. This is just my opinion. This device makes a lot of sense to me because too many people ignore their pelvic floor and this just takes all the guesswork out of it. So how could you not right? Anyways? Anyways, in the news this week as Buddy starts pottering. As I record this, there's no in the news this week because it's silly season and there's absolutely nothing happening whatsoever. You have a tremendous week, new bit of music.

Speaker 4: 42:58

Here we go. Thank you, Baby. Won't you listen to me? I got that flavor. I know you're dying to feed. I ain't no dancer, Just got some hip in my feet. Now throw your hands up. Ooh, you bring the lighter. I got the fuse. You make a fire, I'll add the fuel. Follow my lead. Just watch the shoes. Gotta turn the heat up To get this cool. Hit that chin up off the ground and flash that smile for me. Put some pep up in that step. It's going down shortly. Got so much weight up on my shoulders, all this jewelry on me. I wear my shades inside cause I go blind just looking down.

Speaker 3: 43:55

Walking like the man sipping Chardonnay on the balcony, looking like a young Elvis Presley. I've been overseas, I've been underneath. I ain't never seen nothing like a prison 12 o'clock. I don't know nobody looking like that. I don't know nobody looking like that. I don't know nobody looking like that. I don't know nobody looking like that.

Speaker 4: 44:12

Baby, baby won't you listen to me? I got that flavor. I know you're dying to feed. I ain't no dancer, just got some hip in my feet. Now throw your hands up. Ooh, you bring the lighter. I got the fuse. You make a fire, I'll add the fuel. Follow my lead. Just watch the shoes. Gotta turn the heat up To get this cool. Well, you know who lookin' like this for real. Well, you know who lookin' like this for real. Well, you know who lookin' like this. Well, you know who lookin' like this for real. Well, you know who lookin' like this. Well, you know who lookin' like this for real. Well, you know who lookin' like this. Well, you know who lookin' like this for real. Well, you know who lookin' like this.