How Do You Talk To Kids About Sex?

Wondering how to become an askable parent? AMAZE is here to help! In this episode, you’ll learn how to talk to your kids about sex, including why it’s important to let go of preconceived gender roles and why words are just words.

Become An Askable Parent is a podcast from AMAZE.org. AMAZE creates free educational videos + resources to help families talk openly, honestly, and less awkwardly about sex, health, relationships + growing up. The goal of the podcast is to help parents learn how to communicate better (even when they don’t have all the answers!) so their kids know that they can ask them anything.

Connect with AMAZE.org on YouTube (@amazeparents), Facebook (@amazeparents), and Twitter (@amazeorg).

Transcript

Host:   0:02
Welcome to the AMAZE podcast! AMAZE creates free educational videos and resources to help families talk openly, honestly and less awkwardly about sex, health, relationships and growing up. Our goal is to help you become an askable parent through short, actionable podcast episodes. In today's episode, you'll learn how to talk to your kids about sex, including why it's important to let go of preconceived gender roles and why words are just words.

Educator:   0:35
Welcome, everyone and thanks for coming. I know it's tough for parents to get out sometimes!

Parent 1:   0:39
No matter! Nothing gets in my way when it comes to helping my kids.

Parent 2:   0:43
To be honest, I didn't exactly choose to be here. I mean, what does sex have to do with our three-year-old? I didn't learn about this stuff until middle school and that was fine with my parents.

Educator:   0:59
A lot of us, including me, had that kind of experience as kids. What do the rest of you think?

Parent 3:   1:00
My parents were like Brad's, but I think they might have been wrong. I can already see that our two-year-old is curious about her body. It's pretty funny.

Parent 1:   1:09
And isn't it better they learned from us, rather than other kids who only think they know what they're talking about because their parents don't talk to them, either.  

Parent 4:   1:17
My nine-year-old's friend actually told her just last week that girls eat their tampons. She saw it on YouTube.  

Parent 5:   1:24
Okay, but still, how do you know the right thing to say...if you get it wrong or if it's too much, too soon? Couldn't that be harmful? 

Educator:   1:33
For many generations, adults thought that shielding kids from learning about sexuality was the safe thing to do. The truth is, better educated kids are way more likely to make better decisions as they grow up about everything, including sexuality. But with sexuality, there's still a double standard that says knowledge could be harmful.

Parent 1:   1:53
I know you're right, but I'm so embarrassed by the words I'd have to say.

Parent 3:   1:58
And isn't it better for moms to talk to daughters? And dads to talk to boys?

Educator:   2:03
Children, especially young children, look to grown ups for information simply because we're trusted adults, regardless of characteristics like gender. And one of the best things we can do is give the message that everybody can talk and learn from each other about this subject.

Parent 6:   2:19
I get it, but I still don't know if I can say the word penis in front of my kid.

Educator:   2:24
Embarrassment is one of those "catchy" feelings, and most of us caught embarrassment about sexual things from people around us when we were very young. So we never got to find out that these words are just words and that it's really healthy and okay to say them out loud.

Parent 5:   2:40
You're right! Why should I be embarrassed to say, testicles or erections?  

Parent 2:   2:44
Nipples.

Parent 1:   2:44
Masturbation.

Parent 4:   2:46
Vulva.  Clitoris. 

Parent 5:   2:47
Ejaculation. Scrotum.

Parent 3:   2:47
Vagina.

Educator:   2:55
Good job, everyone. And with a little practice like, try repeating these words to yourself in front of a mirror this week. I think you'll be ready.

Host:   3:08
Thanks for joining us today! To find more free educational resources from AMAZE, including videos, book recommendations, conversational scripts and more, visit AMAZE.org. You can also connect with us on YouTube and Facebook at @amazeparents and on Twitter at @amazeorg. Thanks for listening!