Better Me with BodyByBree
Better Me with BodyByBree
5 Tips for Raising a Confident Child
Imagine empowering your children to believe in their limitless potential and divine self-worth, setting them up for a life filled with confidence and success. In this episode, we share personal insights from my upbringing and reveal the profound impact my mom had in fostering a strong sense of self-identity within me and my siblings. Discover actionable strategies grounded in visualization, affirmations, and the law of attraction, all aimed at helping your children see and become their highest and best selves. You'll learn the importance of focusing on effort over outcomes to build resilience and self-efficacy in young minds.
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Are you looking for a space where you will learn to improve your mental strength, emotional health and heal your insecurities from the inside out? Take the first step to living a more meaningful life with the Better Me with Body by Brie podcast. I'm your host, brie. I'm a certified personal trainer, entrepreneur and mother of three. I've helped empower thousands of women to take action through fitness, nutrition, meditation, personal development and aligning thoughts with action. This podcast is for those who are ready to feel inspired and motivated to live a more purposeful life. Let's grow together.
Speaker 1:I recently had a friend ask me a very interesting question. She said, on a scale of one to 10, how much do you love yourself? And this wasn't in a prideful way, but just like how do you view yourself, your self worth? And I answered without hesitation, 10. And I remember her response was wait, how are you so confident? Like, where did this confidence come from and how do I get some? And I told her it all stemmed from my childhood. It was from my mom and she instilled this sense of confidence in me that I've had since I was a little girl. So this podcast is a culmination of the top five things that my mom did to instill confidence in her children, and I believe it worked, because I asked the same question to all of my siblings. Every single one of them answered a 10 as well. So here we go. I'm going to teach you the five things my mom taught us in raising a confident child. Hi friends, welcome to the podcast. I know this kind of sounds like a maybe an interesting topic, because I know that I'm fitness and wellness, but I am very passionate about instilling confidence in children and also in women. So not just women, not just my clients, but as they are increasing their confidence, it's really fun to see how it trickles down into their children. And now they're teaching their children all of these incredible tools that they can use throughout their life so that they have a more fulfilling life, a more successful life, they're happier, they feel like they have more self-worth, and so I just kind of want to teach some of these principles to you so that you can pass this down to your children, and this is what my mom did for me. So it's it's. I mean, I have a personal experience with all of these. So here we go.
Speaker 1:Number one is to instill a sense of self-worth and importance, and what this really comes down to and this actually goes for not just a child, but anyone that is wanting to increase their confidence is you have to have a strong self-identity or a sense of self. And so when I was growing up, I knew my foundation of self-worth at a very young age was that I mattered, my opinions mattered. I was here on the earth for a purpose. I have a divine worth and a divine value, and so that was how I saw myself Like. I knew that I was important, and so if you have a strong sense of self and you value that, you know that you're important and that you have a work to do and that you have worth. That's what everything stems from is your selfity. So if you're struggling with that yourself, it's very hard to teach your child that because they're going to watch you, they're going to watch everything you do, how you talk to yourself, how you look at yourself in the mirror, how you put others in front of your own needs, every single thing you do you're setting an example for your child. So it's really important that we start with self-identity with us and then also we teach our children that they have self-worth, that their opinions matter, that they are here for a purpose, that they have divine worth.
Speaker 1:And my mom would actually have us visualize our highest and best self all the time. She'd be like, okay, close your eyes. What, Brie, what does your spirit look like? And she would have us visualize and this is kind of getting deep, but this is like deep for you. You don't have to do this step. But she would literally have me visualize what. And I was like, oh, I'm so strong, I'm so powerful, I'm so beautiful, I'm kind, I'm smart and I would see these things. And it was basically just visualizing. And she's like, okay, brie, now I want you to show up as her. And so she would walk me through. This is like a very young age that I would have this. So imagine if you had that training growing up, how differently your life would be, or your child's life, so you can do this for your child. If you didn't have this for your parents and you're just learning this now, do it for yourself, master it and then emulate that for your child.
Speaker 1:The second tip is show them what's possible and that they have absolutely no limitations. Show them what's possible and that they have absolutely no limitations. Like limitations just did not exist in my family, like we believed in affirmations, in the law of attraction, and I just I vividly remember I think I was like how old was I? I was young, maybe junior high. My mom sat us down and she's like now I'm going to teach you something. It's called the law of attraction, and she had us watch the secret and I full heartedly believed that I could create whatever I wanted, and it was because my mom was like you can, like. She instilled that in me. I had no limitations. So number one was affirmations.
Speaker 1:Affirmations is a great place to start, like having your child just do a simple I am statements in the morning or on the way to school or when you're tucking them in bed I am smart, I am calm, I am confident, I am kind, I am a good friend, I am enough, whatever you want them to say. Doing this on the way to school or before bed or right when they wake up, those are like very powerful moments in your day, and so that's what they'll remember. They'll either start their day with it or they end their day with it. And, um, this was, this was really big for me. Even if I would say something little like, oh, I can't do that, my mom would say, yes, you can, you just can't do it yet, and so she'd always correct little things. Or if I say like I'm so stupid and my, my high school friends even remember I do this to them, I'd go delete, delete, delete. And I'd say it three times and they're like, oh geez, and I go now, jessica, or like whatever friend I was with, say something, replace it with something positive. And she'd be like OK, I am smart, accept, accept, accept. Like I would do that to my friends growing up because my mom would do it to me. So you can do these little simple things that are instilling confidence in your child every single day. Um, along with what's possible are, uh. Number two is the law of attraction. So, um, I'm going to give you a little quick, little example of how I implemented this very young and how my mom implemented this with me very young.
Speaker 1:So I wanted to go to Africa this is another. She never had limitations on me. She wasn't like, oh, africa is too far away, or how are you going to make that work? Or you know, there's no way you can go to Africa. Like I was 17 years old and I was like mom, I want to go to Africa and do humanitarian work. And her response was awesome how are you going to make that work? Let's figure it out. And I was like great. So I had researched with my friend, a humanitarian, um, a humanitarian organization that I could go with, and I had figured it all out because she was like you, if you want to go, I know you'll go, I know you'll make this work. And I had figured it all out because she was like you, if you want to go, I know you'll go, I know you'll make this work. And that was her language around me and I was like yeah, I can make this work.
Speaker 1:So I had to raise like $3,500, which was a lot for a 17 year old. And my mom was like you can go, but I can't pay for it. So if you want to go, you need a fundraise, you need to figure out how you're going to raise the money. She's like you got to do it all and I was like I will. And so well, the night before we had to have all of our money turned in. I had $1,700, but I didn't have $3,500.
Speaker 1:And I was proud of myself because I had earned all that money and my mom could have easily bailed me out of that situation. And my mom could have easily bailed me out of that situation. She could have easily said oh, I'll pay for it now you can pay me back right, like you worked so hard, you did everything you could do. I'll make up the difference. But she didn't. She said, bree, you are smart, you are creative, I know that you can figure this out. And I was like mom, I was crying to her. I'm like mom, I have one day. How in the world am I going to get $1,700 in one day? There's no way. This is impossible. And she said nothing's impossible, you can figure it out. And she's like I know you'll figure it out. And I was like, oh, this is. I was so mad at her.
Speaker 1:Well, long story short. I was like, ok, earlier I had passed out. This was like a few weeks before I had. I had went to my neighbors and passed out flyers and had asked you know, hey, I'm going on a humanitarian trip. Would you want to sponsor me? This is what I'm learning on a humanitarian trip. Would you want to sponsor me? This is what I'm learning, this is what I'll be doing. I'll, um, you know, keep you updated when I come back all this stuff.
Speaker 1:Well, I had only had maybe one or two people respond and even donate. I think they donated $25. And I was like, okay, well, maybe I can go back to each of the people I dropped off the envelopes to and I can just follow up and I can simply go through all the people and call them and say, hey, tonight is the last night. I just wanted to see if you did want to donate or not, which that was scary for me as a 17 year old. I didn't want to bug them, but my mom's like you, have to follow up. People get, uh, they forget. You know like they just get busy and they forget. So, anyway, I'm making this longer than it needs to be.
Speaker 1:I went to every single one of those people. I called down the list of people. I said hey, tonight is the last night. I just wanted to see if you were willing to donate. If not, not a big deal, I just want to give you the opportunity. Every single person that I called said, oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. Yes, I wanted to donate, I forgot, come over right now. And, um, you know, I'll write you a check. Or, yes, come ride your bike over and I every single one of them donated, every single one. Guess how much money I had. At the end of the night, I had earned exactly enough money. It was the rest of the $1,700 that I needed to make up the $3,500 to the T Like.
Speaker 1:That was the biggest manifestation of the law of attraction that I had experienced up to that point in my life, and it was honestly a pivotal moment for me. I was like, oh, I am powerful, I can do this, I can do what I put my mind to. And if my mom would have bailed me out of that situation, she would have taken away that experience for me and that moment of realization that I can do hard things, I am creative, I can be an entrepreneur, I can accomplish anything that I put my mind to. And so that law of attraction and that moment for me shifted everything in my life. I now saw myself as someone who can create those opportunities for herself. So show them it's possible. Do not put limits on them. Do not bail them out. Do not give them the easy way. That is how you create someone who doesn't know how to do things for themselves. Know how to do things for themselves.
Speaker 1:Number three praise the effort, not the outcome. So instead of saying, if your child comes up to you and says, oh, mom, I painted this painting for you, instead of saying, oh, it's beautiful, I love it which you can say, but also say, wow, I love how hard you worked on this and you're praising the effort you are such a hard worker. I can see that you really worked hard to become artistic or whatever that is. But you're praising the effort that they put in and maybe they don't reach the goal, or maybe they don't get the winning score, or maybe they don't you know, always achieve what they're after. But if you praise the effort, not the outcome, they value the effort, not the outcome. So they know I'm still valued for being a hard worker. Maybe I'm not the quarterback of the football team, but I didn't quit the entire season. I showed up day in and day out and that shows character. So you're instilling that confidence in them with the effort.
Speaker 1:The last thing is make them do hard things and, honestly, my behavioral. We had hired a behavioral therapist for Jameson when he was younger and he was going through a lot of behavioral issues and she said that. And he was going through a lot of behavioral issues. And she said that and he was struggling with confidence. And I did all of these things. I'm telling you like I meditate before bed with him. I do, um, you know, f positive affirmations. I do all of this. But she said the number one way to build confidence is by having them do hard things. And she's like does Jameson do the dishes? Do you have him help fold his own clothes? Do you have him, you know, like, do don't bail him out of the hard things? And I was like, oh, I have been bailing him out, I have been doing the things for him. So the second that we gave him harder chores like, hey, bud, you're going to start helping out with the dishes. Oh, it was a fight, it was awful. But once he learned it he was like wait, I actually can do this and I'm good at it and this is hard. And he became more confident. So letting him do the hard things and not bailing him out actually really truly did build that confidence.
Speaker 1:One other example is that this happened to me. I mean, my mom sounds harsh, she's not like she knew when to bail me out and when to let me kind of struggle a little bit, and this was a great example. So the first one or sorry was this is one more. I was in college and I called her and I was like mom, I have literally $25 in my bank account and I need to go buy gas. Like, can I have money for gas? And she said, did you do your nails this week? And I said yeah, and she goes okay. Well, then you need to figure it out. And I was so upset with her I thought she was the meanest mom on the planet. But she was like if you could spend money on your nails and not gas, then this is a very valuable lesson for you to learn how to manage your money. And she's like if I give you this money now, you will not learn the lesson.
Speaker 1:And it was a hard lesson to learn. I had to figure out how to make my money stretch. And do you think I did nails the next week? No, I did not. I paid for gas and so I knew that she would not bail me out. So I had to figure it out. I had a problem solved.
Speaker 1:Well, fast forward. I called her and my car emission had, like it just completely broke and it was like $3,500 and I was in school and I was paying for everything on my own. And in that moment she's like you know what, brie, I will pay for this one. Like I'll throw you a bone, I'll pay for this one. So she knew when to help and when to let me struggle.
Speaker 1:So, learning those lessons and doing hard things, that is everything for your kids. And if this list feels overwhelming to you, pick one like pick one of these things to start working on. Do something small to instill that confidence for yourself and for your children. So, to recap, we have instill a sense of worth and importance. Show them what's possible and have no limitations. Embrace mistakes and use it as a learning opportunity. Praise effort, not the outcome, and make your child do hard things. Do not bail them out. That's our synopsis. Remember that they watch every single thing you do. So you have to lead by example and have confidence in yourself. All right, guys, that's all I have for today. I will see you back here next time.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining us in today's episode. If you liked the content and want to hear more, remember to hit that subscribe button and write a review. As a small business owner, I appreciate it more than you know If you are looking for a program to help with self-confidence to lose weight, get in shape and work on your mental, physical and emotional health. Check out my training programs on wwwbodybybreecom. My team and I help to hold you accountable through the Body by Bree app, where you log in to see all your workouts, custom meal plan made specifically for you and your needs, and communication through the messenger. You are never alone when you're on the Body by Bree training program. Click the link in the show notes to get more information on how to transform your life from the inside out.
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