The Fuzzy Mic

Navigating Life's Challenges: From Grief to Gratitude

July 09, 2024 • Kevin Kline • Episode 93

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How do we rebuild our lives after a profound loss? Join me on The Fuzzy Mic as I share my personal journey of coping with the heartbreak of losing my beloved dog, Pinto.

I open up about how the pain kept me away from the microphone and how I've found solace through running and embracing the Mediterranean diet.

Struggling with depression and stress, I discuss the crucial role my dogs have played in my mental health—both as sources of sorrow and life-saving responsibility.

I'll also share insights from a psychologist about the concerning impact of our over-reliance on technology on our cognitive and social skills, urging everyone to challenge themselves to maintain these essential abilities.

Finally, we learn from the happiest people in the world, how to make ourselves happy.

Thank you for being an integral part of The Fuzzy Mic community and for staying fuzzy, friends!

Speaker 1:

Fuzzy, fuzzy Mike. Yeah, fuzzy, you can take it with them on a bus or train, on a highway or on a plane backstage, or on a bike. It's Kevin Kline's Fuzzy Mike, fuzzy Mike interviews Not top of mind, not even the news, no way, just a bunch of stuff that Kevin likes, all recorded with his Fuzzy Mike. Hello, and thank you for being here. I had to take a few weeks off, as you probably noticed if you kept checking back here for new episodes, and I appreciate your patience and your concern. Here's what happened. Every time I'd sit in my studio ready to record something, all I could think about was the last episode I recorded memorializing my dog Pinto, who we had to put down, and I just couldn't bring myself to open up. But, klein, you've recorded new episodes with Tim on Tuttle and Klein, what gives. That has been my outlet, the only time I've been able to get into my studio and have fun without thinking about how much I was hurting over Pinto, so that's why those continued. Now, man, I've got to tell you, losing that four-pound dog knocked all 170 pounds of me on my emotional ass and you could be thinking two things right now. Man, klein, you're such a wuss, and Klein, you don't weigh 170 pounds. Okay, yes, I agree with you, I am a wuss, and you're right, I don't weigh 170. I weigh 171. So, in the interest of round numbers, I just went with the 170. Here's what's going on, and yeah, I know that's kind of a humble brag, but it has something to do with mental health.

Speaker 1:

On May 8th I got back into my long distance running. You see, as somebody who suffers from depression and chronic suicidality, running to me is the cheapest form of medication. I was just talking to somebody the other day and they said you know, I've been battling some depression and I really want to get active because I know that helps me. You don't know how much it helps you. It clears the cobwebs, is what I call it, and so when I took a time off from running, I really kind of felt the weight of that, and so it's really good to be back to running. And on May 8th, when I got back into running, I weighed 185. On June 8th, one month ago, trish and I started our Mediterranean diet running 200 miles per month and cutting out processed foods and sugar. That's what's led to a 14 pound weight loss in exactly two months.

Speaker 1:

My mental health has improved in these last two months. It's not like I've been on a high, it's just I've been content, except for the past two weeks. I've been doing really well, the past two weeks loaded with stress, and I don't handle stress well at all. This past Saturday I was home alone and the thought of ending it all to eliminate the stress it did cross my mind. What stopped me was that I didn't know how long everyone was going to be gone and I was taking care of two dogs so I didn't know if they would have enough food and water if I was dead and they were alone for, say, eight or more hours. Crazy. You know that dogs can bring such sorrow when they pass. Yet they may have saved my life over the weekend.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, my dear friend Melanie, she reached out to me over the weekend to see how I was doing and to ask when a new episode of the Fuzzy Mike would be posting. Melanie met Pinto and featured him on her TV show and she recently lost her dog Eli. So we've been grieving together. I had planned to do a new episode of the Fuzzy Mike this week and when Melanie specifically asked if I was going to do one now, that solidified it and I'm coming around about Pinto not being here anymore. I know that I am because when we went to pick up Pinto's ashes, I didn't cry in the car. Baby steps, friends, baby steps. So I'm at the point now where and I know this isn't rational thinking, but I feel that, since we finally have the box with his ashes in it and his name on it, that he's back in our home and I'm able to protect him. Crazy, what kind of thoughts we can convince ourselves into during grief, right?

Speaker 1:

Anyway, over the past two weeks, I've been doing a lot of reading and I found two articles that I want to share with you. These stories resonated with me in the respect that they gave me an idea to challenge myself, and perhaps you might want to take these challenges too. The first article I found claimed that humans are losing the cognitive and social skills that they need for a thriving personal and professional life. This is according to renowned psychologist, dr Richard Davis. According to Davis, we are at risk of losing the ability to have good judgment and to have insight about people, technology, social media, and to have insight about people, technology, social media, artificial intelligence. Well, those are what's to blame. So we rely so much on our phones that we're losing our own ability to think and make judgment calls, this cognitive ability. It needs to be exercised regularly so that we don't lose it. It's kind of like a muscle, you know. You gotta exercise it to keep it working, to keep it strong.

Speaker 1:

Now I will agree, I too am guilty of using my phone a lot. I'll whip out my calculator for even basic math. Now, to be fair, I suck at math, always have. So this isn't really a fair illustration of the point being made. The calculator is essential for mathematically challenged people like me, as is spellcheck for people like, say, my wife Trish and I are similar in nearly every aspect of our lives. Give us five house photos we'll select the same one. Vacation destination choices we'll pick the same places. We really only have two differences she's a numbers and a warm weather girl, I'm a words and cold weather guy.

Speaker 1:

Now, not to go off completely on a different topic, but I've often wondered how people with spelling challenges find the words that they need to spell. I mean, I've watched my wife input words into dictionarycom to find the proper spelling Dictionarycom replies with is this even an English word? It's like dictionarycom has to play 20 questions, just so we can make an attempt to properly identify the word she's trying to find. How do people who can't spell find words in the dictionary? It's always puzzled me. It's for this reason my spelling prowess that makes me not completely worthless in our relationship. But with AI, which she uses religiously, I may not be as essential to her as I think I am. And that's what gets me back to the original topic. We are using our phones and AI so much that we can't think for ourselves or make judgment calls anymore.

Speaker 1:

The article used GPS as an example. People once used physical maps or memory to get where they needed to go. Now, if your phone dies, you might find yourself lost more easily. Again, I'll use my wife as an example. She relies so much on GPS she doesn't even bother to look at the street signs or landmarks. If she has to go to the same place, say, 10 times in a row, that 10th day will look as fresh to her as it did on the first day. Turn right in 500 feet. She knows she's turning right in 500 feet. Doesn't know what street she's turning from nor onto, but she knows a turn is approaching. Doesn't realize that there's a coffee shop on one corner, a gas station on another corner and an Asian restaurant on another corner. Gps said turn in 500 feet. Why do I need to look at my surroundings? And that's the point the article was making. The more we rely on this technology, the less intuitive we make ourselves. And that's not where the article stopped. It went even further as to the human risk that technology is creating.

Speaker 1:

People's ability to talk to and connect with each other is similarly at risk. According to the psychologist and this is a quote if your head's in your phone, you're meeting people through online profiles or you're basing your business decisions based purely on a resume, not really seeing or spending time with someone, you're losing your core human capability to have insight into other people. Again, I'm as guilty of this as anyone. I'm comfortable not talking to people in person. It's not that I'm not interested in people. It's quite the opposite. I'm fascinated by people. I believe everyone has a story to tell and I love learning about those stories. I learn a lot of stories by reading social media pages. I get stories from magazine articles, news stories, podcasts and previous interviews. You know where I don't get stories podcasts and previous interviews. You know where I don't get stories Personal conversations.

Speaker 1:

For me, it's difficult to initiate conversations in person. I'm not really wired that way and technology has made it easy for me and people like me to exist and even thrive in this world. But because I don't want to become a robot and I don't want to lose my critical thinking ability and I want to have meaningful relationships, I'm challenging myself and asking you to do the same. Let's each meet one new person this week and have a conversation with that person. It could be while you're standing in line at the coffee shop, grocery store, doctor's lobby, wherever, and it doesn't have to be a long conversation. Oh, you're getting a lavender latte. I've never had that. Is it good? Can you believe the price of these bananas? Yeah, hemorrhoids flaring up again. What are you here for? The main goal? It's not to carry on a conversation of Tolstoyan proportions. It's simply to exercise your brain and keep that interaction ability sharp.

Speaker 1:

The other fascinating story I read was about Finland and Denmark having seemingly cracked the code to living a happy life. The two countries hold the top spots in the World Happiness Report's annual ranking of the happiest countries in the world. I don't know if you know this, but Finland has held the world's happiest country title now seven years in a row. Cnbc Make it asked a group of Finnish and Danish business leaders and psychologists to explain the results. It came down to a few go-to sayings that remind them to think positively and optimistically even when, or especially when, times are tough. So if you want to live a happier life, what they suggest is add these three phrases to your vocabulary.

Speaker 1:

Now, this is what the experts say. Motto number one whatever you leave behind, you will find in front of you. It's a fairly common phrase in finland. Apparently it implies that leaving an issue unattended will only result in a bigger issue. So if your friend makes a distasteful joke about you, for example, by you not addressing it immediately, it could give off the impression that, ah, that's okay, and then similar jokes are made in the future. This tells me all I need to know as to why I would suck at being Finnish. I hate confrontation. I try to avoid them at all costs.

Speaker 1:

I recently had a difficult conversation. It was just that a conversation. Voices were not raised, but conflicting opinions were presented. Well, at least my opinion was presented. This really wasn't open for debate, as I was sharing my unsolicited observations of a situation. The interaction lasted all of 30 seconds, if that. I felt so stressed about it. After it happened, I had a migraine for two days. I got reassurance and praise from those who witnessed my presentation, yet I still felt tense and terrible the rest of the week. But and this is the honest truth even though it was uncomfortable for me, things got back to normal after about a day and a very recognizable change was noticed. It ended up being a positive conversation, so maybe the fins are onto something. Then again, I would have much preferred to have not been put in that position in the first place, which would have happened had I had my head buried in my phone. Damn personal challenges. What have happened? And I had my head buried in my phone? Damn personal challenges.

Speaker 1:

Another happiness phrase, and this one is used by the Danes Putemede, putemede, p-y-t-m-e-d-e -T. Putemede. More than 25% of Americans are stressed to the point of harming their mental health and productivity, often worried about circumstances outside of our control, and this is according to the American Psychological Association. People in Denmark use a three-word phrase every day to get ahead of that. The phrase putemaday translates to it doesn't matter or don't worry about it. Pute or never mind is a reassurance that things will be okay, even when they seem not to be. It's a good reminder to not sweat the small stuff, as Pute Madej encourages us to shrug off negativity and move forward with grace and resilience. And then the third quote is Some have happiness, everyone has summer.

Speaker 1:

Finnish people use the hundred-year-old phrase Some have happiness, everyone has summer. In other words, no matter what you're dealing with, better days will come. Sometimes life gives, sometimes it takes, but no matter the situation, you can always count on one thing Sooner or later, summer will come to us all. And that, right there, captures the biggest difference between the happy Finns and the nearly constantly depressed me. On the one hand, you have the Finns who say summer eventually comes to us all. I, on the other hand, know that while summer eventually arrives in Finland, it only lasts at best three and a half months. So while it does eventually come, it doesn't last long, and then you're right back into the cold, dark abyss of winter. Perhaps I need to change my thinking. So here's the challenge to myself and to you let's come up with our own phrases or mantras that we can turn to for happiness. If you already have one, share it with me Direct message, comment or email and I'll talk about it in our next episode. Thank you for listening.

Speaker 1:

If you like this episode, please give it a rating. I always tell you the truth and the truth right now, people are leaving the fuzzy mike family and our audience is decreasing not a good sign for a podcast, really. So if you just give this a rating and tell someone about the show, I'd be grateful. Heck, you could actually make that the icebreaker for your new meeting. One person challenge this week hey, I was listening to this podcast, the fuzzy mic you should check it out and the challenge was to meet one new person this week. Boom, just like that. You've accomplished two challenges. You met someone and shared the show.

Speaker 1:

My other podcast, the Tuttle and Gline show, where my longtime radio partner, tim Tuttle, and I create laughter through conversation and observation. That's actually on an upswing of momentum. New episodes are posted every Wednesday. I'll see you again on the next episode of the Fuzzy Mike and thank you for downloading, watching and supporting. I'm grateful. Thanks for listening to this episode of the Fuzzy Mike with Kevin Kline. Check back often and stay fuzzy friends. Fuzzy Mike is a presentation of the Kevin Kline Fuzzy Mike Industry Incorporated, llc.