Creating Compelling Scripts: The Importance of Visual Details

EPISODE DESCRIPTION – In this episode of Regent Class, Zena Dell Lowe dives into the intricacies of justifying character motivation through visual storytelling in screenwriting. Zena emphasizes the unique challenge of screenplays, which are meant to be produced, not just read, yet must still be engaging on the page. The discussion highlights the importance of strong action lines, using visual images, and the economy of language to captivate both readers and viewers.

Through detailed analysis and practical advice, this episode equips screenwriters with the tools to enhance their scripts' visual storytelling, making them more compelling and production-ready.

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Transcript

[00:00:00] you know on a screenplay, it is a really specialty type of medium because on the one hand it's not meant to be read. It's meant to be produced. On the other hand, it needs to read well. Has to be riveting and most people have not found that ability yet, what you find is that a well written script is pleasant to read.

[00:00:33] in fact, it's riveting and exciting and it's about economy of language and about strong verb choices. but all of that takes place primarily in the action lines. And most people have not mastered what to put in the action lines. so what I want to get students good at is thinking about it in terms of visual images.

[00:00:56] What do I see? Because I'm controlling what's in the camera's frame. As the writer, I'm controlling it. Which means, and this happens a lot, because we're just not used to thinking like filmmakers yet. So let's see. What was your scene? It was about Clara and I loved it. I loved it. Clara. It was a, like a potential romantic comedy. He was buying the ring, right. Proposed to her, that sort of thing. Okay. So here's what's interesting. this is an example, sometimes people will have, you know, this is Clara, right?

[00:01:30] we introduce it in caps, Clara, and then we have the character's name, but then it's never said, or there's never any visual cue. So that we don't know that that's Clara, even though we're reading it, how does the viewer know that that's Clara? And so sometimes things like that, you have him filling out the form with her name on it.

[00:01:55] But I would have encouraged you to actually draw more attention to that where you're basically controlling that we're zooming in on the form that says, you know, Clara, whatever her last name is. And then in her office, it would be great if you looked at her name plate and tied it together there.

[00:02:15] So now we have a visual. So we know that whoever's behind that desk, it's the same Clara. Right, right, right. But see, most people aren't thinking in terms of that. So for example, one of your classmates had a daughter, a father daughter scene but they weren't really in the same scene, the father finds some drugs in the daughter's bedroom.

[00:02:35] And then the daughter's downstairs doing her homework. And when the dad comes downstairs he's going to go find the aunt who was apparently given the girl drugs. But there's nothing visually in that scene for us to even know that that was the daughter whose room the father was in. So we wouldn't make that connection if we were just watching it.

[00:02:57] The only way we know it is because we're reading it, but people aren't reading screenplays. And that's the trick is starting to think like a viewer. What does the viewer need to see? And this is why I keep saying visual cues. Some of the visual cues are things like character expressions. One of the mistakes that you made, but that everybody makes is you said something like, and I'm paraphrasing, but you said something like, He looks confused, wondering.

[00:03:32] If she's caught on to what's going on with him, something to that effect, right, right, right. But see, you can't write that because we can't film that. How do you have an actor? Okay. Ready? And action. I want to see you wondering if they're catching on to what it is that you're doing. Like you can't actually act that.

[00:03:54] What you can act is. He cocks his head or he squints or, I mean, I know those are terrible in a way, but you can give us expressions or behaviors. He bites his nails. I mean, that's pretty lame, but he taps his pencil. you know, he bounces his knee. He adjusts his hat.

[00:04:16] I mean, that's why you're trying to, you're trying to show me behavior that then allows me, the reader or the viewer to interpret his internal emotional feelings or thoughts without ever giving them. Because see, I can't act thoughts or feelings. I mean, and you can act feelings, but what you don't want to do is say he's sad. 

[00:04:37] you want to give behavior. That's played that then we get to interpret sadness. Okay. So that's just one of those things where we have to get good at. But another mistake that people do make is they try to give too much information in the dialogue. And then the dialogue is not really organic to the characters.

[00:05:00] It's really there for the audience. Right. So it's not high context enough. the high context thing is huge because 

[00:05:10] This is like your own private lesson. This is good.what happens almost across the board when you're first getting started writing. Is you have one character that is your main character and everybody else becomes props for that character nobody else really has an agenda or a goal.

[00:05:28] They're they like, hey, buddy. Is everything okay? They literally come into the scene to help that main character or if it's a love interest they're just there for the purpose of that scene rather than Having a real agenda on their own like in real life and that's where as you get better at this Scenes become better Because both characters have an agenda that they enter into the scene with to pursue and that's where conflict comes from because the other person isn't there to just help you or to be a sounding board or to give you that great advice or to help you solve your issues or whatever it is.

[00:06:09] That's not why the other person is there. They have their agenda, you have yours, and now you have to try to get it met. With the other person, but they're trying to get theirs met through you and that causes conflict.but it also adds believable dialogue because now it's not for the audience's benefit.

[00:06:30] See, the problem is most of us, when we're first getting started, our dialogue is just trying to give the audience exposition. But we're not thinking about the level of the character relationships. And so a lot of times you have these characters that are supposedly best friends who should be speaking with shorthand.

[00:06:49] It's basically shorthand best friends. Don't need to explain everything to each other. They both know it. It would be stupid if they did. Right. So in your scene with Clara and what's the guy's name? Dave.

[00:07:03] Okay. So Dave and Clara. So one of the, Potential problems with your scene is that on the one hand you started out super high context which was great and that's what I loved but then you didn't actually play it out believably because You almost stopped yourself short, which is ironic. Most people don't do that once they started out with the high context.

[00:07:31] So it's almost the opposite problem. Well, no, that's not true. People do that. But what I mean by that is I loved the fact that they're basically BFFs, right? They know each other, they're best friends, whatever. 

[00:07:45] What was missing is she was just in the scene for him. She wasn't busy in her own world. I mean, she's an exec at some company. We don't know what she does. But she just seemed like she was totally available to be on this call with him, rather than she is fitting that into while she's, you know, handing things off to her assistant and has a life, right?

[00:08:10] So on the one hand that was missing, but on the other hand, playing the reality of it, she knows him and he knows her and she's, I mean, I'm not sure how she feels about him, but he's clearly in love with her. But. They haven't dated for a man to be buying an engagement ring for a gal that he hasn't actually dated is pretty weird, unless there is a justifiable reason.

[00:08:39] And I'm not sure what that reason is yet. It doesn't feel quite justified. Nevertheless, let's just say he was going to do that. He's telling his best friend, she knows this mystery woman. so she, she should know. So you're really going to propose to her, but you haven't even asked her on a date yet.

[00:08:56] Well, yeah, and then he has to explain why to his best friend in a way that makes sense to the best friend, look, we always talked about the fact that we weren't going to turn 30 without being married. Or, I mean, that's a bad thing. I'm just making that up or, you know, that I'm going to be deported next year if I'm not married.

[00:09:14] Or, but that's a bad reason too like, what is his justification? Why is he going to do it? Maybe, and it should probably have something to do with her, like, look, we haven't dated, but she doesn't think she likes romance, but she does, and I'm going to prove it to her, and this will be the most romantic gesture that has ever happened to her, and she'll want to marry me.

[00:09:36] Just as much as that. And so, yeah, it's a risk, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. I don't know, Dave. I wouldn't do it. You know, I mean, that just sounds crazy or whatever. And it's like, no, I mean, I, you know, Hey, if you want something bad enough, you got to go big, right? Like go big. And so he's trying to, but he's saying that to his best friend.

[00:09:56] And she doesn't know that she's actually the woman. Yeah, right, right, right. They're having a real conversation about it. In the meantime, they're being disrupted and interrupted. Right. Well, and I think,I was watching the page count.not to make an excuse or anything, but I thinkI'm trying too hard to like fit it in instead of just writing it and then revising it.

[00:10:19] you know what, here's the thing. I say three to four or three to five pages or whatever to give you something to aim for, because I think it takes that long to kind of write a scene or a sequence that kind of goes somewhere. But I kind of want you to check that at the door and then just milk the scene for everything it's worth.

[00:10:38]  You know, and just enjoy it. I don't want anybody to have to go for too long. Of course, that's not the goal. The goal is to, Fully embody that scene. 

[00:10:47] One thing I loved was the introduction to the other gal in the elevator that with the coffee I forget her name, Pyra or something like that. Great name, whatever it was, Dave had great chemistry with her. Like that's a rival love interest.

[00:11:05] what you were writing has the potential to be developed into a long form rom com. It really does.Like it's got all the ingredients. So then what you would want to do is think, okay, he is taking a risk and, and what is he afraid of?

[00:11:20] Why is he doing this? those sorts of things are things, But the truth is that gals introduction would change his trajectory, right?

[00:11:30] and then the question is, who does he end up with? And is she the right one or isn't he?

[00:11:36] Or what's really going on? I don't know. I'm making this up. And maybe that isn't the scenario at all. But the point is. The introduction of that second gal that he connects to would change something about the encounter he's about to have. But you wouldn't have to worry about that now. This is just for fun and everything you had was great.

[00:11:57] It was fun. You had great characters. The one thing that you would want to worry about now is making sure that you're trying to get as many visual images in there and making sure the dialogue is real given the scenario you've created. Right. Rest of it, the story development, where it could go from there could be anything.

[00:12:19] but anyway, to answer your original question, it's all of it, but I would say where people are probably the weakest right now is the action lines because they're not fully taking advantage of them.

[00:12:35] And they're not writing them as efficiently or with strong language. Like a lot of times people write things like, she is running. Well, that's passive and boring. she skips down the hallway or she dashes down the hallway. She scurries down the hallway. She is running down the hallway.

[00:12:56] It's just not as strong, you know, and then finding ways also Nobody in the class is really ending a scene showing me the emotionality of the character. So when a scene comes to a close, what needs to happen at the beginning of a scene is your character starts a scene in one emotional place.

[00:13:16] But by the end of the scene, they should be in a different emotional place. But that implies I have to see them and right now people just in the scene Without giving me that beat that moment where I get to see them And it doesn't have to be a big thing. it can be one line. it's something like somebody says a statement.

[00:13:39] Somebody says something in dialogue like what are we gonna do now and then? hold on Xena and she throws her hands up in the air I mean, it doesn't even have to say hold on Xena. Xena glares.now I'm mad or whatever, or, and I hate this one, but people do it.

[00:13:56] You know, Xena chews on her bottom lip. but anything, anything that says that the, the wheels are spinning. we just need to know where the characters at, at the end and how they've been emotionally impacted. Right. So in any case. I, I correct all of it, but right now action lines are the weakest because people haven't gotten used to writing it artistically.

[00:14:21] Right. So do you feel likeIt's the more you read, the better you get at it.

[00:14:29] And then the more you write. So like it's the reading and the writing go hand in hand. And that's why you're having us read and write. Yeah. But part of it is see a lot of times when we read it, if we're just reading it and not analyzing why it's good, we're not actually learning it. Okay. we just take it for granted. 

[00:14:51] But it doesn't mean we can duplicate it. So That's why I have the instructions of things to try to pull out so you can see how the screenwriters are using those techniques. But really the only thing that you need to think about is Most people need to slow the scenes down, believe it or not, and really

[00:15:14] see, when I say flesh it out, what happens is they then write the microcosm of everything that happens. So, this is not what I mean. I don't mean he pulls up to the curb. He turns off the ignition. he gets out of the car, he locks the door, he walks up to the house.

[00:15:35] I mean, that's minutia that I'm not talking about. Right. But most people aren't taking the time. To really use the visuals of the environment and to give us some sort of emotional reaction or placement of the character, how they feel without telling us or using props in a scene to convey something.

[00:16:02] Rather than relying on just words, a husband and wife are talking about what should be done with their child. Andthe wife is like, Henry, are you listening to me? He slams the coffee cup down. I've heard every word, So now I'm using that prop to show an internal emotional state without having to say he's upset that he.

[00:16:24] It's being questioned. You can't write that sort of thing. So, I mean, it's just, it's nuances. An example would be one of your fellow students wrote a mountain climbing scene where it started out great. They were on this mountain face or whatever. And he's trying to use these visuals, like they dip their hands into the chalk bags as they climb.

[00:16:48] Okay, so there's a visual there. But then, they get to the top, and that's when the scene actually starts. So, the scene doesn't start when they're on the mountain climbing. It's like, that's just, they gotta get out of the way to get up to where the dialogue is. No, that's when the scene starts. They're on the mountain, and you, you gotta do something with that.

[00:17:09] You don't wait till they get to the top. you have it start then and little things like where one character, pauses with the I don't even know what kind of gear you use, but let's say cleats dug into the mountain in one hand while he takes a sip of water and looks down at his buddy below maybe even spit some of the water on top of his buddy's head or whatever, Hey, you know, your deck or whatever, he would yell up, he laughs, he puts it back on.

[00:17:41] you're going to make it just keep going. I'm behind you. I might be out of shape, but I'm not, you know, dead yet. Ha ha. He laughs and they keep climbing. Okay. So whatever. It's like, now we know that there's a competition. Now we know that there's a little bit of a hierarchy.

[00:17:58] Now that we have a better idea of their relationship, we actually used that moment. Then we cut to, they finally make it to the top. and now what? So like in your fellow classmates scene, it was very unclear. well, actually it was very clear that it was going to be the cliche. Oh, look at this view.

[00:18:18] And now the mandatory awkward dialogue scene where It was clear that the writer had an agenda, not that the characters had things to do. So what needs to happen in a situation like that is, okay, how exhausted are the characters when they come up? What is their relationship?

[00:18:41] How competitive was this? What kind of anger and resentment is underneath, you know why did they do this? Like, you know, if one of them didn't really want to be there, but he is, why did he do it? It, does he feel guilty? Does he feel ashamed? Does he feel likehe can't say no to a challenge or is it two buddies just having a great time, 

[00:19:01] And so then you let the scene unfold according to that. But also what do they do? Like legitimately, when you get to the top of the thing, what do climbers do? They don't usually climb back down, And they don't sit up there all day having a conversation about, you know, things that are kind of awkward that don't feel organic.

[00:19:21] They have something to do like, okay, well, let's start hiking to the car because probably they have a vehicle they left over there for when they were done. So they wouldn't have to climb back down. or are they going to put on one of those wing suits and now they're going to, that's the second step.

[00:19:36] So they've climbed up, you know, maybe they're going to eat some protein bars, rehydrate. but that's the thing. And so now any conversation that happens happens as they're actively doing those things and getting ready. And so you break up the dialogue through the legitimate action and somehow.

[00:19:57] Let it come out of that. So if one of them is trying to put on the wingsuit and hesomething stuck or whatever, and he pulls it too hard and he loses his balance. And the other guy jerks him back before he falls over the edge. Oh, now you got to play the reality of that. And like, Holy crap.

[00:20:18] Yeah, you better, you know, watch it or whatever. So anyway, all this to say, most people have a scene that doesn't reflect character goals and motives that are natural for the scenario. It's about the writer's motivations of what they want the characters to talk about for the audience's benefit. Do you see the difference?

[00:20:40] Yeah. So do you, so when you're sitting down to like write a scene do you have. Like an end goal for each scene, like, all right.

[00:20:50] So my character's coming in here and he's just gotten some bad news in the previous scene. You know, do you have like an idea of where you want it to this next scene to go? Like, I, I guess I'm trying to figure out how much planning do you do versus how much freedom do you give yourself? when you are writing?

[00:21:11] Well, okay if you're talking about a long form project, that's why you have to know what your character wants at the very beginning. You cannot write any story unless you know what your character wants, what they're actually pursuing. Now, sometimes, In fact, often their mega goal, the big goal gets subdivided into other little things they have to accomplish in order to achieve that big goal, right?

[00:21:39] Nevertheless, you have to know what the character is after or else you just will get lost in your story. Having said that, they get derailed, of course. So, okay, let me give you an example. Five Brides, which is what I just finished writing for Sony. so there's five characters.

[00:22:00] And that's a lot. Because a lot of times people lose their characters in scenes. You know, it's hard to write five person scenes. Because you lose, you forget who's there. And you don't, always give them their own thing. And yet you have to do that. So you have to find ways to justify why one of them maybe would stay quiet or the, you know, or whatever, so that you can have other characters talk.

[00:22:23] But let's just say, so in five brides, I had a scene where they'd gone to the movies, all together, these roommates, but they'd gone because the character of Joan had wanted Evelyn, another one of the roommates, to bond with the other girls. So she had arranged the social outing for the five of them so they could have a bonding experience.

[00:22:48] And so they come out of the movies and they just had seen something frivolous that Joan normally wouldn't see, But she enjoyed it. Everybody enjoyed it. And she was like, that was better than I thought. And then one of the characters says ice cream and soda or something, you know, anyone, and, Oh, I know just the place.

[00:23:06] Betty knows just the place grabs that character's arm come on. And, one of the girls is like, even after all that pop and popcorn, you still want ice cream. She's like, well, we're talking ice cream. and so now they're going to go off and do that. But then. As those two girls kind of lead the way, and the other three girls follow, Evelyn is the one who says, Man, they looked good together.

[00:23:28] That Fred Astaire and, I don't even remember who the two people in Singing in the Rain are, but the two famous people. And then they start talking about romance. Because remember, this is called Five Brides. So she says, I wouldn't mind if I got matched to a guy like that. how about you, Joan?

[00:23:43] And she's like, I'm not looking for a man. Oh, right. Right. You're only, you're just interested in work. But then after that, then what? Then what? Yeah, come on, Joan, tell us about the man of your dreams. So It feels organic because it came out of that, but we actually need that information.

[00:23:58] so here's what I knew when I sat down to write that scene, I knew that was the place for us to find those things out about Joan. Because it was an organic place for two of the romantic minded girls to be wondering about their man of their dreams and then probing Joan for what, what about yours?

[00:24:18] And Joan isn't interested in a man. And yet she does have an ideal that unless they really dig in, cause she's ignoring that. She's not interested in that. All she wants is to make money to help her family. That's what she wants. And so they have to really really pursue her to get her to finally say that stuff, but it feels organic to the scene.

[00:24:41] And then where the scene ends is the five girls end up in front of a big picture window. Where they see a wedding dress that is sort of like the ideal wedding dress, and they end up going inside to try it on, even though not one of them are engaged, and not one of them have a boyfriend. and that's, by the way, part of the true story of it, they end up buying that wedding dress, even though none of them have that, and they're all going to wear it at some point.

[00:25:07] by Bryce. That's why that's title. So I knew where I had to go, but I wasn't exactly sure how the dialogue was going to unfold. And boy, I probably rewrote that dialogue 10 times to get it to flow in a way that we all really believed. And then because the other two girls. You know, I had to get them out of the picture, like ahead of us or else it was too many people for that conversation. But then I would have our girls, the three that we were with, like one of them says, Oh, look at them. They're already a block and a half ahead of us. And then Joan says, Oh, look, they think they're dancing with, Gene Kelly now, and they giggle, because, Then we can see the girls are up there dancing with each other and so they're out of the scene, but they're still part of the scene, but I don't have to worry about giving them dialogue, right?

[00:26:01] So I didn't just lose them. Right, right, right. So I don't know if that's helping you at all, except to say, I know where I need to go. But I don't always know how I'm going to get there. The script that I'm writing right now is actually because I've done a quite a bit of planning for it, you know, I've done a beat sheet and, just did a basic arc, and then kind of went in and divided things up and kind of got a little more specific.

[00:26:31] Ah, okay, so let me. Yeah, good. You did all that work. Now set it aside. Yeah,

[00:26:43] seriously, because here's what happens. That's, that's a really, really important thing. So I'm glad you said that because you have to do all that work. And now you have to trust that you have that in you, but it's different when you're in the muck. It's just different. And if you try to hold on to the exact structure or the exact thing in your mind, you will miss the magic.

[00:27:07] That's why you have to let that stuff go and tap into the right brain and see what needs to happen in the scene. The organic stuff. You have to not rush it. You have to be in it. You have to be in it. And see what exactly has to happen next. What would she say? And if it changes it, it changes it. Yeah. And then you have to work with that because you have to be true to the moments.

[00:27:33] But you know, in general, where you're going. So you just trust that that's in you, but this is the other reason why you have to do that, because all of that stuff that you do upfront is the analytical left brain. When you actually sit down to do the writing, you have to tap into the muse. Yeah. You have to tap into the right brain.

[00:27:53] The minute you bring the editor analyst back, you kill the muse. Editor analyst always trumps the muse. But the muse is who you need. Yeah. Once you get to that phase. Well, so and I feel like it I have changed some of the things like 

[00:28:13] I've changed some of the structure and allowed myself that creative freedom. And I didn't plan out every single momentin the actual beat sheet and the treatment and kind of left myself some of that. Well, I guess wiggle room 

[00:28:26] I guess, really, I'm just looking for the justification that that's this idea of balance. You have to have both of them. Yeah. You're right on the money. I mean, typically speaking, I'm most structured at the beginning like I know what I'm aiming for, I don't know exactly all of the nuances, but I know where I'm going.

[00:28:47] I know what I'm going for. But at some point,

[00:28:51] even Quentin Tarantino says this, actually, he's really structured at the beginning, like he's the puppet master, but then by the time he gets to act two, he knows the characters better and now they take on a life of their own. And then they kind of take over. and I think that's the way it should be because now we're just more clear about things and thenwhat may have to happen is you'll get to the end and you'll find that it doesn't actually work and then you have to do summary finagling.

[00:29:27] So with five brides, my first draft was 135 pages. And I didn't get into act three until about page 110. That's a problem, right? And then act three obviously was way rushed that and I knew it. I knew it was a mess. What I didn't know was how to fix it at the time. And it was coming up due. So I called a bunch of my actor friends and I had them come over and we sat down and we did a reading and they were here for about six hours.

[00:29:59] And they gave me feedback of what they thought was working, what wasn't working. And based on that, I was able to restructure the stuff that came earlierso that now I had a clearer vision. and this is why, by the way, we have to get the first draft out because we will reedit and reedit and reedit, and the first draft is almost never good.

[00:30:21] but can't fix it unless you have it out. Right. So I don't know if that's helpful to you, but that's what you need to do is just let it out, vomit it onto the page and then see what you have. Yeah. 

[00:30:35] And, you know, here's one thing too, is there's no one right way.

[00:30:40] There's no one right way the acid test is always does it work and that's the thing. This is a collaborative business so the truth is You won't always know if it works until you get those first readers who tell you are is really confused here Or this part didn't make sense to me and blah blah blah Sometimes the frustrating part about this business is that it is collaborative and then everybody wants to put their thumbprint on it and then you lose the original magic.

[00:31:08] So that can happen. Yeah. Hopefully it won't, My thing with you is, and my advice to you personally, from the work I've seen in the class so far is see most people try to write a full screenplay before they've mastered the art of even writing a scene.

[00:31:26] And so my encouragement to you in this class is to really try to flesh out an excellent scene. Okay. where you really milk it for everything it's worth, where you're in it and you don't rush it, but you also don't stay too long, where we're understanding the emotional reactions of the characters.

[00:31:47] You're learning to use powerful word choices and economy of language. And visual images and all the tools that we're talking about. And you're really just learning those things. If you can do that, because all the screenplay is, is one scene plus the next scene, plus the next scene all the way to the end.

[00:32:07] So if you can master that for one scene, you will have all the building blocks you need to get to the end. Because every scene has a beginning and a middle and every scene has an arc. So you can instinctively master how to have an arc, which will then follow into the longer form project. So work on the basics.

[00:32:29] Most of us try to have the advanced techniques before we've established the foundations. And that's what I'm hoping you're learning here is, is, is mastering these basics. Which are the foundation that will help you. And you're really good. I mean,your scene was great.

[00:32:46] It also needed improvement, but that's okay. You're exactly where you should be. And so it's an opportunity to master those things as the semester goes by. And if you do, if you keep practicing those things by the end of the semester, you'll even be amazed like Oh, I get it at a different level now.

[00:33:06] Yeah. Right. So anyway, yay. Yay. All right. 

[00:33:31]