Welcome everybody to the Joe Rogan experience. I'm your host, tony. This is my co-host, chris, and then Jay on tech. Wow, that's original, tony. This week's episode we talk about stuff and things.
Speaker 3:Stuffing. Hey guys, You ever get dizzy. Hey guys, speaking of gizzies, do you hear about the woman who had a full body orgasm at the LA Phil arm, Phil Harmick theater?
Speaker 2:I actually did. This got sent to me by all my close friends.
Speaker 3:Tell me, chris, i apparently this woman named. Molly this woman, Molly Grant, was an enjoying the Los Angeles Philharmonic performance of Taitovsky's fifth symphony when she heard what she described as a scream and a moan erupt from the balcony. Everyone kind of turned to see what was happening. Grant said who was seated near the person who allegedly made the noise. I saw the girl after it happened and I assume that she dot dot dot had an orgasm because she was heavily breeding and her partner was smiling and looking at her like an holding remote control.
Speaker 3:Yeah, i mean, there is that They. I mean she decided to start screaming, and orgasmic screams, during the middle of a concert performance of Taitovsky's fifth symphony.
Speaker 2:Look, there's only one explanation for this. She does a podcast with two of her closest friends right, And there's a competition element to it. You good. Yeah it's built a little bit, a little bit. So on her podcast they do a little competition and she obviously lost.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you lost, you run into this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she lost her competition and the other two broads got to punish her, so this was her punishment. This was her punishment.
Speaker 3:They stick a vibrator.
Speaker 2:Watch I don't interrupt a symphony. Did they put a vibrator? in her crotch to make her have an actual orgasm. It was. it was either like most orgasms Or she had one of those little remote control eggs up her cooch.
Speaker 1:Do it again, Tony right. One, two three, one more time.
Speaker 2:No, i'm good, Time's passed.
Speaker 3:I don't know, man. That's about as ridiculous as this story where, for the second year in a row, dc residents say that music from the festival carried for miles, frustrated again with the music festival Kiko moment up late at night with loud music carrying off for miles. It's not the first time they've reached out to channel seven news. I mean, come on, so music festival plays until fucking. I kept me up until 11. He didn't get to sleep till 12. What the fuck? Come on, music festival comes in.
Speaker 1:Depends on what kind of music, Chris you. You go to too many of them, So you know a lot more than we do.
Speaker 3:I could even hit one resident detailed They heard, according to seven news reporter Mayor Megan Clark, that the bass was shaking pictures on my wall and I could hear the DJ talking into the microphone during transitions.
Speaker 2:It must have been a Wiz Khalifa concert.
Speaker 3:Surveillance video is shared with seven news captured the pulse of the base. People are ridiculous, though. Like so fucking what? Oh, i'm sorry, you couldn't sleep while 40,000 people were having a good time. It ends at 11. It doesn't even go that late.
Speaker 2:Well, noise or ordinance is usually 10.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Now with the permit, what you get?
Speaker 1:a permit, all right, clearly had a permit, let's do this, though On the kind of three. I want you guys all telling your normal sleep time Where you go to bed. One fall go to bed or fall asleep. Well, i mean go to bed trying to fall asleep. One, two, three, 11, 10, 20.
Speaker 2:I want to see what you guys are motherfucker I go lay down about 11 and, like lately, i haven't been able to fall asleep till between 130 and two. I've been getting a lot of TV watching and yeah, so just on three.
Speaker 3:Tell me what time you wake up. Don't be late on this. One, j1, two, three, six seven. Why am I waking up first?
Speaker 1:What'd you say? Six, holy shit.
Speaker 3:Okay, no, you really like 530 at, my alarm goes off and then I get out of bed, or I should say like Oh, that's the way, No, not nine.
Speaker 1:What am I saying? It's pretty cool, that wasn't right.
Speaker 3:So you're telling me that I get an extra like three hours of a day than you do because you're fucking off in dreamland, trying not to dial 911.
Speaker 1:I tell you what I learn a lot from staying up, and I do stay up past midnight, i do stay up past two sometimes, and sometimes I'll just get, like you know knowledge in my head and I'll listen to some shit about. you know, astronomy, physiology, the, the the the anatomy of the human body.
Speaker 3:Just crazy stuff like that.
Speaker 1:The anatomy of so is exactly what I was just explaining in a very technical term. Tony, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2:You're like look at Virgo go. His anatomy is great.
Speaker 1:Wow, he's in. He's in the stars right now. It is fucking Okay. Stop it now, please. You're the one that started this shit, so no, i just wanted like, okay, so let's just do a little segment here, just the one, two, three, and then answer real quick. Let's get another question. Let's get if, if, if you could live in a different state, which state would it be ready? One, two, three, florida again.
Speaker 3:Did you say Florida?
Speaker 1:You were right, you would you. Is that true?
Speaker 3:Are you just fucking with me, fucking you?
Speaker 1:Okay, well, car would you, would be your ultimate car to have one, two, three 1976 Cadillac El Dorado convertible, preferably black, black, black. Yeah.
Speaker 3:No, i'm answering Chris. I mean, i don't have a. The one I'm driving now is working just fine.
Speaker 1:I'm not a big I mean I said if you, if money wasn't a deal, you know you're dream car is a 2018 fucking town and country. The weirdest blue I've ever seen, like you do have the weirdest blue color I've ever seen, chris. I mean you are, on it, mistakeable blue.
Speaker 3:I step out of the parking lot and I can see my ass on my car for sure.
Speaker 1:You do have the weirdest blue color, but it separates you from everyone else.
Speaker 3:You never like the color of the logo of this three dimes t-shirt I'm wearing.
Speaker 1:Bit later, but you know, many times I've walked past my car because it's white and there's so many white cars on there And all whites look the same. All whites. look the same Fucking white guys. We are all we I mean. look, you can't tell who's talking, because we all like to fuck the same, Except for that redhead. fuck over there. Yeah, Behind you, Tony.
Speaker 2:So anyway, I had, I had something super fun happen to me today. I went in for my well, I think I had one before, but I don't really remember it Colonoscopy MRI. Anybody had an MRI? No, Why?
Speaker 3:did you have one? Never had a MRI. Well, I was going to ask you about your cool wristband because my neck, my neck and shoulder no-transcript.
Speaker 2:How did you even notice that? How could you?
Speaker 1:see that It's not as fucking You said, it's elbow. I wasn't worried about my sweatshirt before you got here.
Speaker 3:Maybe I was able to see all you guys.
Speaker 2:Okay, i see what's going on, so they did an MRI on my neck to find out where, where this nerve is pinching And, ironically, i went in to see orthopedic surgeon like a month and a half ago and they just got me in for my MRI today. And for the last two weeks I'm like for the last two weeks my nerve has been like tip top, like no pain, no, no, no signs that this has ever even been an issue. And now I get to go do the MRI and show Yeah it's going to show me that nothing's pinched.
Speaker 1:No, that's super cool. It's not true, though It could be.
Speaker 2:No, i mean, I don't know what they're going to find.
Speaker 3:I'm not a fucking radiologist, but it could be, whatever was bothering, you Pop back into place and then you don't get a fucking picture of it.
Speaker 1:I'm saying just because just because you have the pain doesn't mean alright. Just because you the pain was gone, doesn't mean it won't show up.
Speaker 3:That's what I'm saying. That could be true too.
Speaker 1:No, i agree, I'm like Jason MRI got an ironic that my grandfather was a masseuse and he would use to tell me stories like what time it was. Is that where you learned Just jump is?
Speaker 2:that where you learned your fucking amazing jerk off technique. I didn't show you that, did I? You made me come more than once, but anyway, i hit that nerve, so just right. So they lay you on this bed and they put me in a like full neck brace and then clamped a fucking other brace over my neck.
Speaker 3:Oh, did you. They lock Was your wife there?
Speaker 1:No, oh, damn it. I would love to see the picture.
Speaker 2:There's like an hour before you guys got here.
Speaker 1:I could just imagine, you like this.
Speaker 2:So then they took foam and wedged it on the side of my head so I couldn't move it on foam. Yeah they boxed you up because they ship you out fucking Japan or something, and then this little bed takes you into this fucking tube.
Speaker 1:The tube that takes you to the fucking ship to ship you into Japan.
Speaker 3:All right, they wrapped you like a glizzy.
Speaker 2:So yeah. I'm basically the glizzy in this hotdog bond And when you go, when you're into it like I don't know, like it just made sense at the moment for me to close my eyes while I was going in.
Speaker 3:I want to be close. I would want to do it. Close dies, if possible.
Speaker 2:Have you ever gone in an MRI machine? Yeah, it's a little creepy. I'm claustrophobic like in your head.
Speaker 1:You went in like head first Because I think I went ahead first, but I only went to like my waist.
Speaker 2:I think I had something with my knee like 15 years ago. So they want to set me in feet first and I had to go in.
Speaker 1:I was gonna say so. You wanted them to send you all the way. Yeah, all the way through like a fucking X-ray machine. But when you open your eyes you're not supposed to, i think, didn't they tell you? that's the first thing you tell you?
Speaker 2:Don't open your eyes, no, Okay, fine, okay, okay, go ahead and tell me that. At all Sorry, but when you open your eyes, that fucking tube is right in your face and it is one of the fucking most bizarre feelings I've ever felt in my life.
Speaker 1:I like it.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you got you just knowing that you can't move and what you're looking at is right in your face. Like that It was.
Speaker 1:I've never felt anything like that before, so you're saying you're in this tube, something's right at your face and you're not enjoying it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you move your arms and they're locked on your side. I think you can.
Speaker 2:No, they didn't lock them in, but they just said you know, hold, hold as still as possible. But you just, you're, you're in this tube and then it starts making wow, fucking wild ass noises, and none of the noises like you'll feel it or you'll hear it doing what it's doing and it's like really loud and it's it's sort of vibe like vibrating your head a little bit because of the, because they put your plugs in so you can still hear it, but you you more feel it than hear it.
Speaker 1:Did they ask if you want to like lorazepam or alprazolam or something?
Speaker 2:like an omnipraise. No.
Speaker 1:I didn't have.
Speaker 2:Harper and alprazolam. No like anti anxiety medicine or something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not talking about amper amperazole.
Speaker 2:They didn't ask me, did I want anything out of, took it, but they didn't ask. but that's weird, maybe because you look so tough.
Speaker 1:You feel that you?
Speaker 2:feel the bad kind of like moving you a little bit to get you know, like the next section of picture, and then the machine starts making like different noises, like the noises the machine makes throughout this whole thing.
Speaker 3:They don't do not match What do you expect? to do fucking seeing yourself thinking the things broken Like is this right? This can't be right. It's not repeating that sound.
Speaker 2:And then there's nothing you can do, like yeah it's, it's a different, like it'll be a hum, and then it'll be like a really hard for me. I think so you you expected this machine to play you a sympathy sympathy, No, but if you're in a machine that's taking the same pictures in sequence through because I mean essentially it just takes like a million pictures You know what this machine is, the sounds it makes, it should be making.
Speaker 1:Well, would you say, you're saying you're in there. You're saying I know how the sound. This machine should sound like this.
Speaker 2:When you go in and it starts making the first noise. You think that's the noise when you go start up your car. This is not a car. This is the engine of your car. Does it make a different noise every time you start it?
Speaker 1:Right This machine is a hundred times the value of your car. So this machine is is nothing you even comprehend, maybe your car. I just understand why you think like it's going to be like the same type of, because you figure it's like going, stop and moving, you going or something doing the same thing. I just don't feel like you would think that would be the same thing over and over.
Speaker 2:I don't think I could sit in that thing like that, so that's why I give you a card with like a little squeezing ball on the end of it And they're like you can't squeeze it. What?
Speaker 3:is going to happen. They could do it again.
Speaker 2:They put it in your hand to help you And they said this is, this is your panic button If you start panicking how many times did you squeeze a little ball?
Speaker 1:How many times did you squeeze that?
Speaker 2:And they said then we pull you out.
Speaker 1:God damn it, Tony.
Speaker 2:And it was, it was, it was super fucking wild man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I bent. I bent one of those. It's not that fucking bad, I don't think I could do it. It's not that fucking bad.
Speaker 3:Remember when we used to lock each other in the couch? That shit freaked me out. alone Couldn't get out, couldn't move couldn't do nothing.
Speaker 1:You mean like under a cushion, remember where you were.
Speaker 3:You never did that. Oh the fucking With that Tyler's house.
Speaker 1:The pull-out bed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you lock each other in the pull-out bed.
Speaker 1:Oh, when you squeeze it halfway in Lay down, fold it right back in. That's scary as fuck.
Speaker 3:yes, But in this situation you're somewhat free, but you can't move.
Speaker 1:No, you're in a tube that's I would like. Okay, fine, you know what? Here's the thing. Tony, you're a little bigger than me, okay, so this tube is not. No, they brought the extra large. I was gonna say They bring you the bigger tube, yeah.
Speaker 2:They didn't put me in a pediatric tube like they put you.
Speaker 1:They used the same tube they used with me. I can't imagine even pushing you in that tube.
Speaker 2:They used the pet-. They used the kid on you for you. They used the kid on you for you.
Speaker 1:They had a giant hammer and they were hitting his feet just to get him in.
Speaker 3:They sprayed me with the tube. The opening diameter is about 60 centimeters.
Speaker 1:Oh, I totally get a tape measure. Let's measure the diameter.
Speaker 2:I don't have a centimeter tape measure.
Speaker 1:We can figure You can convert? Yeah, of course I can convert.
Speaker 3:Do you have a tape measure? I don't know why it's in centimeters.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying.
Speaker 3:That looks freaky as fuck.
Speaker 1:You're a little bigger, okay, right, a little more tight for you. Much bigger, a little more tight, okay, you got a lot less room.
Speaker 2:They would definitely have to use way more foam spacers with you.
Speaker 1:I need more foam, a lot less room, a lot less room for you. I understand and I'm claustrophobic as fuck I understand how you felt.
Speaker 2:I just don't even understand how they got your nose in there without it scraping.
Speaker 1:That was good. That was good. I like it. I like it. They put foam on it first.
Speaker 2:They're depended to the side. They tape it to your cheek.
Speaker 1:Oh you fuck You. good, Yeah, that's why I had too many MRIs. It just stays that way now.
Speaker 3:The way they taped it. It almost pulled.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it captured that way. Now, like if you look at what you see, is it a little crooked.
Speaker 3:I don't believe you had an MRI, because if you did, it would have pulled that BB right out of you. You're fucking back.
Speaker 2:There's like why is this guy's nose all fucked up on these pictures? To Tube has limitations. I was uh, fuck you.
Speaker 1:Please, sir, turn your head to the side.
Speaker 2:So we used to do construction back in the day at WeEnergies Or not WeEnergies What's the fucking name of that huge company in Wisconsin that makes them.
Speaker 1:Makes what.
Speaker 2:We we used to work at GE all the time doing electric instruction and they make the MRI machines that most of them are made right in Waukesha. And would they?
Speaker 1:use you as a biggest size?
Speaker 2:No, no, they don't know, I'm nowhere near the biggest size. Well, you know, never know. But uh, they make you watch a video about MRI machines beforehand because they charge up in there and they're, they're inside of the, uh, whatever they are whatever they got to be.
Speaker 2:Um, well, they have, like their walls are made out of, i think, lead or something to not conduct the magnet, but because we're working in there with tools, they they make you watch this video of them charging up an MRI machine. Uh, so there's a guy standing about 20 feet away from it and he's holding a hammer straight in front of them and they charge up the machine and it blows his hammer straight through a fucking cinder block wall and smashes into the MRI machine because the magnet's so strong. So I now I know I've never had a surgery in my life, but you can imagine, maybe something got stuck in there, right?
Speaker 3:Well, tony, there was one surgery you had, though.
Speaker 2:Well, the added dick to me that that the the the added dick to me What the fuck is one with two dicks?
Speaker 2:But I know I've never had a surgery and I know I have no metal parts in me There's no screws or plates or anything like that But I'm filling out this paperwork. I think we should change our podcast name to add a dick to me. I almost had to call my mom just to say Hey, i didn't have any like medieval back alley surgeries when I was a child that I like there's no metal in me because I don't want it to rip clean out of my body into this machine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's like. why do you think your dick is so big, tony? according to urban, dictionary.
Speaker 3:An added dick to me is a medical procedure to odd, to alter the female naughty bits to male. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no no no, no, no. Sherry is now Barry, Thanks to her, added dick to me.
Speaker 1:Okay, wait, so that's for a woman then.
Speaker 3:And add a dick to me.
Speaker 1:That's not that it shouldn't be called add a dick to me, it's urban dictionary. It should be called add of a giant enemy, had a sensor vagina, all right, good one.
Speaker 2:So anyway. So I'm having this like mild panic attack about a pretend surgery I might have had when I was a child, thinking about some fucking plate getting ripped out of my spine into this machine. And the guy takes me back and he's like he's like, all right, well, here's they, show you this locker, they go put all your stuff, everything out of your pockets, all that, put it all in this locker. And he's looking at me, he's like, yeah, all the metal buttons and everything on your pants and stuff are fine, you don't need to worry about those. And I'm like what the fuck are you talking about? Like I'm not walking out of this hospital pantsless because you just thought that it would be fine.
Speaker 3:There's no iron in those, i don't think so I get butt ass naked.
Speaker 2:You just wanted to get butt ass naked.
Speaker 1:I was going to say if you really did.
Speaker 3:I'm surprised they don't throw you in a gown. You want to see my dick?
Speaker 2:That's what I want to see my dick. Yeah, so it was like this super surfer dude who was my radiologist. He's like he's like all right, guy, what's? what's your last name and your birthday, all right. Well, i'm going to take you over to lockers. It's pretty chill around here, me and Brent, you know that's great.
Speaker 1:It's a great great, So perfect. He takes me over.
Speaker 2:He takes me over to locker and he's like, yeah, just take the stuff out of your pockets, grab the key. All the, all the metal on your pants are fine, whatever. He's like just get ready, have a seat over here, we'll. We'll come get you when we get the other guy out of the tube And I'm like, all right, some sitting there for like 10 minutes. It's fucking nervous as shit. Like should I text my mom? Like I doubt about this metal and the the fucking guy who was in there before me comes in in a full gown like nothing nothing.
Speaker 1:Was he bigger? Was he bigger or smaller than you? is bigger, whoa? So you're dead And you're like I'm fine, i'll fit.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, i did bring my own Pam, but they had, they had it. So I'm like why the fuck is this dude butt ass naked in a gown? and they're telling me the fucking metal on my pants are fine, but the nickel in your pockets, not. I was so fucking worked up in there Like I honestly thought like something terrible is going to happen.
Speaker 3:Like yo, can I just get it to get a gown here? I don't want to.
Speaker 2:I don't know man. I'm just like, yeah, these guys do it every day, they'll be fine. And then I'm laying there like I'm going to hit this panic button. I already know it. They take me in. and then all the fucking noises and vibration.
Speaker 3:I tell them not to give me the panic button because, I'm just going to fucking hit it If you got it there. I'm just going to fucking hit it. I'm going to hit it. My brain's not strong enough to say no, just don't give me the fucking option. I'm strong enough to do it. I hate every second of it.
Speaker 2:Even that when you're in there and all this is going on and it's like then it starts getting a little fucking hard to breathe. Okay.
Speaker 1:And you're like did you, did you say anything to the doctors or whoever they hell No.
Speaker 2:I ain't a bitch, okay. I'll just come here and tell you guys, don't you go? Nobody else.
Speaker 1:So ever here. You go in there and you tell me I'm a little anxious about this, i'm panicking, i feel nervous. What they do is they give you a fucking pill, you take the fucking pill and they don't even fucking care.
Speaker 3:When you want people to remember it to tell the story. Oh, i looked up Brent. Brent, according to Urban Dictionary, is a sweet, funny, caring, loving and gentle guy, but when you make him angry he will snap at revenge and despise you greatly. So maybe he was trying to get you back Cause you looked at him slide. Maybe it's like who's this guy with this freshly dolled up hair? He's all proper Like I'm the California kid over here. He's like what's up?
Speaker 2:dude. So what are we? What are we taking pictures of today? Oh yeah, Fuck this guy.
Speaker 1:So let me, is there outcome Like what is wrong with you? I?
Speaker 2:survived. I survived the MRI.
Speaker 1:What's wrong with your fucking body?
Speaker 2:I don't know They had no answers. I had it done two and a half hours.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's too early, man, it's too early, we don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you just say two and a half hours ago.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:My MRI was at three 30. I didn't know that You didn't say that when you did, When you weren't listening.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's okay. Well, you know what There's problems in this? in this world, People don't listen to other people. And then you know, troubles happen like this. I have no idea. You just have two hours, two and a half hours ago. I'm sorry, yeah, and you're still traumatic about it. You're literally my closest friend. I can see it in your face, the traumatic. Distance wise, the traumatic one, two, the traumatic part of your face, and I didn't know. It was only two hours ago. I'm sorry, tony, i apologize.
Speaker 2:But yeah, it was a yeah, you know, because we're just talking about the bracelet a little bit.
Speaker 1:What the fuck? Wow, you know what. I didn't get that either.
Speaker 3:I thought maybe you're wearing it, for I got to honor.
Speaker 1:I thought yeah, yeah, of course.
Speaker 2:I just I just didn't get around to a scissors yet.
Speaker 1:When my kid comes, when my kid goes to the hospital, comes back, he'll keep that fucking bracelet on for two weeks. Easy, i mean, that's what I thought, just kept it on.
Speaker 2:Fair.
Speaker 1:Fair or square.
Speaker 2:But it was a. It was a really fucking, almost troubling experience.
Speaker 3:There better be something wrong with me going through this, yeah, and probably they're going to be like Oh, i didn't see anything on the scan. This time you're having a flare up, though. You should give us a call. We'll have to get you through this little tube again, and you know what This is.
Speaker 1:This is exactly what women say, what they say about guys doing podcasts. This is our time to bring out our emotions. And do the girls do gossip on the phone. So you are not going to tell your wife that you were so distraught and in in in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in in.
Speaker 3:So I'm sure I've. I believe Tony's probably been talking her ear off, since he's going to be wait for the text back. He's going to go home and go off to the West wing and be like honey, honey. He's going to be like Gives, gives. can you go get my wife? Yeah, and she'll go get them, and then Janessa will get them. get her dressed and bring, bring her to the center quarters I have Gives.
Speaker 3:take her a walkie talk to the center quarters of the home where Pedro will make you guys a small snack and you'll discuss it over a glass of Chardonnay honey.
Speaker 1:today I had quite the time And it's always eating a fucking P and P and J without the crust.
Speaker 3:They've got so much help around that they've got a person there to translate it to Spanish, to have a Spanish translator translate it back to English. To tell the story.
Speaker 2:I don't know what we're paying for, let's use them.
Speaker 3:For those that don't know about Tony's gated community, it's the section on Google Maps where it just blacks out in the middle of Wisconsin. That's his neighborhood. It's completely private, not even Google Maps, yeah they have to pay for it.
Speaker 1:You can't even see it in Google, it's like area 51.
Speaker 3:It's just a section of white.
Speaker 1:That's where he lives. Every time I try to go to Tony's house is like how did?
Speaker 2:you get past the gate, man. It is definitely a section of white.
Speaker 3:I've tried to have tried to five drones into it, crash right into their little headquarters.
Speaker 2:They could shot down right when you got the guy in the tower, doesn't play that shit.
Speaker 1:It's shot down.
Speaker 2:But you know, i was just kind of thinking about it. You know, my brother goes and gets an MRI done of his head every six months. Yeah, joe and he said he sleeps through him.
Speaker 3:And his. I want to it Well.
Speaker 1:Joe, joey had like his brother I don't know if we ever talked about this in the podcast, but yeah, he passed out and like see, like some type something in brain or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's got a big tumor, big fucking brain tumor, and he has to go get it checked every six months and he's like I just fall asleep in there.
Speaker 1:I'm like how he's done it, you know, two, three hundred times or whatever I'm the type of person that would panic about that, like I would be obsessive, compulsively thinking about is the tumor getting bigger? is the tumor getting bigger? I can't see my left eye. I have a little black spot, something's wrong. Like I will obsessively do that for him. He doesn't give a fuck about it. Yeah, he seems pretty like when I worked when, i used to work for Tony.
Speaker 1:I worked with, with, with Joe a lot And he has this timer for taking pills, yeah, you know, who set that up on his phone Wasn't him.
Speaker 2:He doesn't give a fuck if he takes those pills. He never takes them on the timers.
Speaker 1:He just his snooze or stops the timer. I'm like I think that means you should be taking your pills, joe. He's like I'll do it after this or after that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I make him stop Well. I'm like stop what you're doing and go take a goddamn pill.
Speaker 1:I didn't help him out at all because he doesn't listen to me.
Speaker 2:Every, every day. I work with him every time. I see him do like 10 times a day. I'm like you good, look at me.
Speaker 1:You good. Why don't you do that with me then? Cause I'm not good.
Speaker 3:Right, you probably do need an MRI.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i need something, you probably should get one. I need, like I need, a CAT scan, i think.
Speaker 2:I would go straight.
Speaker 1:MRI, just get it over with, i think. Just go right through my whole body Like what, what do they do?
Speaker 2:Last time a CAT scan, you woke up with piss on your face, bang.
Speaker 1:You're good. You're good with those quick ones. You're a quickie, you're a quickie man. I'll see you quick.
Speaker 2:But now I'm kind of thinking like I should probably go to one of them little hood MRI places.
Speaker 1:You can't go to a veterinary clinic.
Speaker 2:No, they got places where there's like MRI machines and trailers and they're like.
Speaker 1:Chris, oh, you missed it. They're getting it up on the internet.
Speaker 2:Any MRI $499 or something like that. They have mobile ones. Yeah, mobile, i just get my whole fucking body done, so anytime there's an issue. I can just say refer to the old MRI They come to your house.
Speaker 3:I know they set up.
Speaker 1:You just said, they set up in the back of clinics and Kmart's sometimes Yeah.
Speaker 2:Sometimes Walmart parking lots, whatever. Okay, but don't MRI anything.
Speaker 1:I got a pee Cool.
Speaker 3:We'll wait for you, jay. We'll pause it. We'll pause it. It's a good thing.
Speaker 2:It's a good thing, I'm not sure All right, now he's gone, let's talk about how fucking fat he's getting.
Speaker 3:Oh man, i don't know, tony, i've been losing the pounds, man, i'm down nine pounds.
Speaker 2:I've been hovering exactly where I've been since middle school I've been.
Speaker 3:just you know, my diet plan is just not eat.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I eat like one time a day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, i got this. I got the same program. Going on with my feelings, i just don't talk about them.
Speaker 3:Well, let's not dwell on that, let's continue on with something different.
Speaker 2:All right. So tell me about how your pants are fitting.
Speaker 3:No, for real man. I'm trying to manage what's going on here because, dude, i was ballooning up but I found myself now. I really like to eat now. I never really used to my whole life. Yeah, like the last six months to a year, like anytime food's there, i'm fucking on it, on it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And it's, it's. it's been a thing where basically all day long I just like don't eat, like I'll just. obviously I'll have like sustenance, i'll eat, like a granola bar and those kind of things.
Speaker 1:But I don't want a urinary tract infection. I had to pee. When I got a pee.
Speaker 3:We know, jay, we know. Thanks for a, thanks for watching your hands too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i didn't, but I'm not going to shake yours, so no, doesn't matter really. No.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it does fucking stinking here, Thanks.
Speaker 1:Jay, it does. It's like a, it's like a fart where's our stink guy?
Speaker 3:He wanted us to bomb it. What was his name? The stink guy that was on the podcast chatting in the chat Gone.
Speaker 1:Gone, god, everyone's gone, gone, it's gone. So what do you guys think about? maybe going on the road? doing podcasts live going to different states doing podcasting.
Speaker 2:It is Cinco de Mayo this weekend.
Speaker 1:Wait, no, it's tomorrow Cinco de Mayo, yeah, but today is the. What is it? What is the Star Wars fans call?
Speaker 2:it. May the force be with you.
Speaker 1:Thank you, i don't know the fuck. you know that because you haven't seen one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, maybe you should go home tonight and start up episode four of Star Wars.
Speaker 2:Not interesting, not interested. I'm watching a show called shooter right now on Netflix.
Speaker 3:shooter- Right, yeah, did you know? is it about the Washington DC van shooter guy?
Speaker 2:No, it's a. It's a sit, not sitcom. It's a action drama based on the early 2000s Mark Wahlberg movie called shooter.
Speaker 3:I was going to ask if it was that contrast.
Speaker 1:It wasn't even that good, yeah, but it was pretty fucking good.
Speaker 3:It was about the sniper.
Speaker 1:Anyway, yeah, no, anyway, what I was saying I heard in the the radio today was the most popular. I think this is taken off Netflix. The most popular move now, star Wars movies, the three originals in category in each state. Okay, what do you think? the most popular one was for Wisconsin, new Hope.
Speaker 3:How would they? I did It's not, i don't know, wild in the world. Would it matter?
Speaker 1:what the radio has to do. They have nothing else to talk about.
Speaker 2:We don't. Well, they didn't survey me, so I don't even.
Speaker 1:It's New Hope. The first one It is. What is the second?
Speaker 3:one Empire.
Speaker 1:Strikes Back. Thanks, thank you. And then the third one is return of the Jedi. What do you think? Wisconsin?
Speaker 3:The Empire Strikes One, two or three, the Empire Strikes Back, tony, that's the best one, it's always two Number one, no hope. They lie.
Speaker 1:New Hope. No, but was the number one, watched, liked, whatever you want to call it.
Speaker 3:They lie.
Speaker 1:But other states it was. It was mostly return of the Jedi, because that that fight at the end with Darv Darv and.
Speaker 2:I dream about it.
Speaker 3:Whatever, tony, you don't even get it, dude it's amazing, the fucking music, the emotion.
Speaker 2:The thing that's so nice about this is the worst thing about this is Jay keeps bringing it up.
Speaker 3:Star Wars, yeah, today, okay, but I think you brought it up. Tony even is bringing it up. I'm over here thinking to myself I thought I respected you as a person, but you've barely chosen this stubborn choice to not watch a movie that everyone is enjoyed. And I think to myself I know Tony. I know how he likes how stories and characters progress through a movie.
Speaker 1:A little bit of fantasy involves some action.
Speaker 3:He doesn't really like the aliens, things in the space, but it's not really about what it is. It's more about a different space and time And he just sits there and is like you're not going to watch it.
Speaker 1:And I sit over here and I'm like I'm not going to try to convince this guy.
Speaker 2:You can't stop, enjoy six hours of his day of his life.
Speaker 1:I'm going to sit over here. Don't stop him. Don't stop. Who's the guy?
Speaker 2:who looks like Indiana Jones.
Speaker 3:It is Indiana Jones, nice, what's his name?
Speaker 2:I was him for Halloween. I don't care, i don't care. So you watched a bunch of stuff.
Speaker 3:You watched a bunch of fucking 32nd clips.
Speaker 2:I did an image search, searches Yeah.
Speaker 3:Trash dude. If you knew who he was, you would have made a way better costume and you only would have known who he was by watching the movie.
Speaker 1:I guarantee if you went up to someone that was a Zowers fan, that were watching the movie and you were like, hey, i'm Han Solo, but I never watched the movies, it stab you with a lightsaber.
Speaker 2:I told hundreds of people when they're like, Oh, Han Solo, And I'm like who's that?
Speaker 3:Here's my prediction. Here's my prediction Within the next year, tony does watch a Star Wars movie and within that same year, within three months of watching the first Star Wars, he will have watched many other movies and or shows, and maybe even picked up a book or a few Funkos, and then he will plan a trip with his family to Disney to go to the Star.
Speaker 3:Wars, that'll be all the land thing He'll have like a $1,300 sound adaptive lightsaber that'll bring down there with him. He'll have to ship it separately on the plane, like in a golf cart. A golf club container that he'd have to, you know, buy also made that has a special made foam interior stuffed in by stuff by specialists from the MRI machine stuff in them in there. He'll even put a little red button for the lightsaber to press in case it gets scared.
Speaker 1:Yes, i am seeing, i'm visually seeing everything you just said The whole family little babies dressed up like that Yoda. Yes, i'm baby Yoda though.
Speaker 2:So you ever, you ever been in a situation like with your wife.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Where you guys like the princess bride was the one Is that what you say No like, you say like uh, i don't know, i well, we're just going to use like your wife goes how many beers did you have? You say like three. She's like well, i know you had more because we bought that 12 pack. Are you saying you're? lying to us and you have seen some Star Wars already. Is that what?
Speaker 3:you're getting at. No like like she goes no cause.
Speaker 2:I bought that 12 pack this morning and there's only two left, so I know, you had 10 and you're like no, i had three. And now you committed to it so hard on that lie that now, like you're making up like oh no, well believe it's true.
Speaker 3:So, you can stop lying about it.
Speaker 2:You're like well, no, uh, Tony stopped by and yeah, dude, he pounded like seven of them. Yeah, Like he went crazy. So now you're like committed to it.
Speaker 3:Now, you're committed Now you can't go back and say who did you commit to?
Speaker 2:You can't go back and say to your wife Like I tried lying, are you saying you?
Speaker 3:committed to us that you don't watch it, and we're keeping you from watching it now. I'm keeping myself from watching it because I might like it.
Speaker 2:You fucking are going to love, but now I've been arguing with myself for the last 25 years that I'm.
Speaker 3:there's no way I'm going to be into it If you got even just plopped into the middle of it like you're just tuning and you just bam, all of a sudden you're into it and you gave it like eight minutes, Like you would give any other high quality movie like dumb and dumber that just happens to be on film. You'd get stuck on it. I feel like, i feel like Tony would be a and you wouldn't find out until like second commercial break with the fuck you're watching.
Speaker 1:I know Jar Jar Binks fan. I feel like he'd be he would actually like Jar Jar Binks.
Speaker 3:He wouldn't like any of the new shit, i think he would like Jar Jar Binks.
Speaker 1:I think he'd be like you know what guys? I don't know what the hate is about him. I he's. he was like the best part of the movie. I don't know why they cut him.
Speaker 2:Well, the thing is is now, i've been so anti-Star Wars for so long that now, even if I watched it and I did have some kind of morsel of enjoyment from it, i would hide it from the world and convince myself that I did only in fact drink three beers.
Speaker 1:No, can we?
Speaker 3:see, that's where you're going. How long would it?
Speaker 1:if I asked you how long would it take you to pull up that costume on your phone? How long would it take? If it is more than like a minute, then I don't want to say it, maybe a minute or two.
Speaker 3:You just got to go Google Halloween Okay Search. I want to see what I'm telling you, man, do you do you, do you do you. But you know what I but I'm telling you. You're doing you wrong, star.
Speaker 1:Wars is like you're holding yourself back. It's like you want to be in that world Like they. they created a world that people want to be in.
Speaker 3:I think it's a time.
Speaker 1:Time world In a galaxy far, far away A long, long time ago.
Speaker 3:Whatever you want to call it, people want to be in that They want to be Even the epic beginning of the movie, where the, where the story scrolls off into space and all you see is like the brake lights of an engine off in the space, and it's like a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
Speaker 1:It was, it was past, it was, it was farther than the time. The timing of it was was Pat. what, how, how, how do we say?
Speaker 3:it, it was before it's time.
Speaker 1:There you go, It was. it was yeah, before it's time. People didn't even know like that something like this could even be brought to screen. And it was what. 77, the first movie was made.
Speaker 2:No, Yes, i'm not kidding, no it was before my brother was born.
Speaker 1:My brother was born in 79. I think it was 77. The first new hope, star Wars, 1977, maybe 78. I'm gonna say 70. I'm keeping the 77 just because I started with it, but I'm pretty sure it was 77. Chris, you got me, you got me. No, no, no, you don't got me. I definitely don't got a picture of it. Okay, he doesn't have a picture of it. So, tony, will, you'll eventually show us right 1977 day Nailed it.
Speaker 2:I'll go on my wife's phone and get a picture of my amazing interpretation of.
Speaker 1:I would love to solo and see. The thing is is it just? is it better or just as good as your drawings? because your drawings are good.
Speaker 2:No see, here's. The thing with me is that.
Speaker 1:I don't know your costume is that? good, i get obsessed with doing things I know you do the best if you listen this podcast, you know Tony and Everybody else does the dumbest.
Speaker 2:Most pointless shit. So we went on we do, we do group costumes for Halloween at the campground, and So there's like 17 of us that dress up And I was the only person Who didn't buy like some prefabricated Spandex and foam costume.
Speaker 3:$60 for a $3 napkin. Yeah, like I.
Speaker 2:I went out and I took this picture and I just dissected it and I went out and bought Individual pieces that were period correct. Oh yeah, i look like I was at the goddamn Renaissance fair and I did. Do you still have it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got all the pieces. I wear it in summer camp when, when his wife's like hey, han, even, even he puts it on.
Speaker 2:That's a Han. Listen to me, even to the point where the black pants. I Couldn't find Black pants with a red stripe down the side, so I fucking sewed a stripe down the side of my fucking pants, nice.
Speaker 3:You should have went to some type of marching band store.
Speaker 1:Because if I had a marching band store, I went to marching band uniform store. I did the the Jack Sparrow thing for four or five years and I spent two thousand Well that doesn't even make sense dollars on costume parts for that cause. But I won. Listen to me, no wait, but before you say shit, i won fucking $100. I know like six things I want I want a pool cue, i want a dartboard. I won I think was like two or three hundred dollars. Give card to the what's that place called that bathroom beyond.
Speaker 3:Texas Roadhouse.
Speaker 1:No, it's the plate. The billiards place pirates, cove billiards, billiards. Viking billiards anyway That I won a Costume party somewhere or not cost apart, i want a party somewhere for the packer. No, that was my wife. They won that shit. I won a couple cash prizes. I won a bar, like two or three bar tabs Dude it was what was your wife a college day To work with too much makeup on Scooby-Doo.
Speaker 2:What is that? Just you?
Speaker 1:come. What if she?
Speaker 2:was you coming in and like the most elaborate fucking? pirates She's in a green shirt with a red wig on.
Speaker 1:Dude, i went to out of control. I'll show you the pictures. I'm not gonna get him right now, but I was spot on, jack, without the face.
Speaker 3:They're replacing him with somebody else.
Speaker 1:No, I heard that.
Speaker 2:Anyway, I spent tons of money He's really gonna have a rough time after that whole court trial.
Speaker 1:Thank you, and I and I sold that costume for what I paid for.
Speaker 3:That's really, but almost what I paid for.
Speaker 1:But it was. It was a fucking fabulous time.
Speaker 2:Where the fuck did you find anybody else that small, that wanted to also be a pirate?
Speaker 1:Chris, that's not that funny. It's not that funny. I don't.
Speaker 2:I'm a pirate's, wear baggy clothes to buy everything in a large just for, and then so deep into all the years.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, accident. Yeah, and then take the safety pins out. When I sold you.
Speaker 2:Yeah right.
Speaker 1:Oh, my god stinks in here man.
Speaker 3:Geez, louise man, it's the two weeks. Three weeks from now, three weeks from today, i will be at summer camp music festival, dancing with my shoes off. Gentlemen, i'm pretty excited about it.
Speaker 2:I'm assuming you're gonna need, you're gonna need to reschedule Thursday.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and the week before that, so next week. We're on, and after that we're gonna have to reschedule.
Speaker 2:Yeah, i got some shit going on on a Thursday in a couple weeks too. I'm gonna see you hear it now, fans. I'm going to my summer camp. I'm going to see Donnell Rollins, nice.
Speaker 1:I don't know this. Ashley, larry, ashley Larry man, i mean, they didn't help Charlie Murphy that account comedian. Yeah, comedian, you know our bird crush is coming to Wisconsin. I know he's coming to Chicago. No, he's coming to Wisconsin.
Speaker 2:Nice.
Speaker 1:Scans and maybe I'll go see him again.
Speaker 3:I think we looked at tickets to.
Speaker 1:Expensive all going together.
Speaker 3:No, I'm gonna wife I'm gonna wife 86 that with the price of tickets, i think.
Speaker 1:I'm kind of getting sick of Bert.
Speaker 3:Sorry guys.
Speaker 1:It's a new hour. Here's the thing why I'm gonna stick a bird. He always talks about his family and I feel like he's getting away from his great comedy.
Speaker 2:Comedy's kind of always been about. No, he has not been.
Speaker 1:He was in Russia. This best fucking story was him in Russia on a train That was not his family.
Speaker 2:Well, okay, that story was pretty, his, they made a movie.
Speaker 1:I mean pretty his family. He didn't have a family then.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:Well, fuck he was in fucking college. They didn't fucking know that, whatever.
Speaker 2:All right, I think this is ran its course three dimes every week.
Speaker 3:Live on facebook and youtube You can also catch our audio podcast, where we syndicate it out out to every single Podcasting platform you can think of. As long as these bitches are paying me, we owe Jay in the rears. Oops, sorry, he's really made it really a Tony Star Wars thing for me at this point.
Speaker 2:But that's okay, We'll see how this goes.
Speaker 3:I will never pay you. We'll see you next week when we add up how much more money we owe Jay. We owe Jay. Until then, for chris, tony and Jay, we out.
Speaker 2:I like that. You got that shaky hand all the way into the end.
Speaker 1:It's not stopping. Oh my god, my, oh my.