Trusting Fate, Detaching & Letting Go of Control in Soul Recovery

In this episode, I dive deep into the concept of fate and how it intertwines with our spiritual journey in Soul Recovery. Together, we explore the delicate balance between surrendering to what we cannot control and finding the courage to take responsibility for our lives. Drawing from the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer, I share insights on how to release the need for control, embrace the flow of life, and trust that there is a greater plan unfolding. Whether you’re struggling with uncertainty or seeking peace amidst life’s challenges, this conversation will guide you towards a deeper understanding of fate and how it can lead to true spiritual freedom.

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.

Chapters

• 0:00 Embracing Serenity
• 9:33 Embracing Fate and Soul Recovery
• 17:39 Releasing Control, Embracing Fate
• 24:48 Connecting Through Soul Recovery Support

Transcript

Rev Rachel Harrison: 0:00

For so many of us, the serenity prayer has been a mantra that we use in difficult times. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And this morning, when I was thinking about doing an episode that was around control, I pulled out my Oracle deck and I got a card called the fates and when I opened up the guidebook it said it was around the serenity prayer, but it offered this additional thing for us to look at what is the fate of each person involved? Can we look beyond the standard control and move out into something even greater still that recognizes that each of us is on our own soul's journey? That includes fate. That includes that they might need to experience what we cannot see. Enjoy the episode.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 0:57

Welcome to the Recover your Soul podcast a spiritual path to a happy and healthy life. My name is Reverend Rachel Harrison. I started Recover your Soul after having profound changes in my life from my recovery of alcoholism, codependency and control addiction. I was guided to share the tools and principles of spirituality and soul recovery to help others transform their lives as mine was transformed. For us to overcome external circumstances. We need to turn the attention to ourselves, focusing on our inner change and healing. Positive results in our lives will follow. Welcome to the Soul Recovery Community. I'm Rev Rachel and I thank you for joining me for the Recover your Soul podcast. This is where we meet weekly to connect with each other, to remember that we're all listening together, whether it's on the day that the episode drops or during the week, or maybe you're going back to the beginning of the catalog and listening to all of the episodes and being on the journey with me. That has been my soul recovery that each time we are listening, we are actually holding energy and space for us to continue to expand and grow and heal, and that means so much to me. I just think every one of you who is here on this journey with me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 2:20

One of the tenets that is so important on soul recovery is control. It used to be the first step in the nine steps of soul recovery we're powerless over everything which had its foundations in 12 step, which is to understand and truly believe that you are powerless over your own addiction, and then, as an Al-Anon, it was that you're powerless over someone else's addiction, and now it's the new second step in the soul recovery journey has a more depth of spirituality to it, since I've revamped the nine steps to be more aligned with what we've been growing and teaching over the last couple of years in the soul recovery community. But this idea of control and powerlessness is not easy, and when we think about letting go of control, there's a couple things that happen. First is let go of control to what, hand it over to what, to where, to who, and that can be challenging. The next is to realize that control really is a way for us to protect ourselves, that many of us use this tool of control and trying to make things be a certain way, or to help people, or to fix, or to have all the answers, or for it to all be perfect, because that was really a tool that was used, a belief that was set up, a pattern that was set up, a system that was set up to help protect you from the difficulty that you had growing up or the expectations that were placed on you. So of course it's a way of being and, to be quite honest, it is a massive piece of how humans work.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 4:03

Power and control is everything we are finally at a place in our spiritual upliftment of our consciousness, just as human beings, that people actually have dominion over themselves. It has not been that long since there was the right for women to vote, for people of color to have rights, for women to be able to divorce husbands and to have jobs. We're still fighting to have jobs where you make the same amount of money. There is still so much power and greed and control happening in our society that it seems counterintuitive to say in spirituality we're saying let go of control. It feels untenable. But what we're talking about in soul recovery is something deeper. It's a more spiritually based concept. It's about the release of the part of us that thinks that we have to make something happen for us to be okay. It's not about losing your strength and it's not about stepping out of your power. It's actually about taking your power back, because when we think that the people outside need to be a certain way for us to be okay, we have just given our power away. Because it is nuts out there and people are on their own whole spiritual journey or non spiritual journey, their human journey, doing whatever it is that they're going to do, and when we are so enmeshed and tied to their well being. For our well being, we give our well being away.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 5:42

You know that one of the things I like to do is to have a spiritual practice in the mornings. If you've listened to the podcast, I've been doing this for oh my gosh, four or five years now, pretty much ever since I did my ministerial ordination studies. That was a self-study program and I woke up early every morning and I lit my candle and I put my incense on, turned on my music and I immersed myself in this spiritual journey. Well, I still do the same thing. I still wake up every day and have at least an hour of meditation. And I've been really into Oracle cards lately as well, because I feel like when you're in this swirl of beginning to really step into your knowing and I know this is happening for so many of you, that it's you've talked to me about this you start to have changes and you start to have shifts and your energy and how you're seeing things and, because of soul recovery, your perception is changing and you need something to really sort of hold onto that. Well, I love that for Oracle cards, because I'm in this space where I'm really feeling like everything is changing in the way that I see the world and I'll ask myself am I crazy? Is this true? Is it? Can it really be aligned like this, because so many things are just falling into place? Well, today was another example. I knew that I was going to talk about control today. I knew that this was going aligned like this because so many things are just falling into place. Well, today was another example. I knew that I was going to talk about control today. I knew that this was going to be the topic because I'm something I'm continuing to work on and release in my own life and it's such an important tenant.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 7:17

And I had my Oracle cards out this morning and I have a deck that I bought from Hay House. It's called Wisdom of the Oracle by Charlotte Barron-Reed and it's a really popular deck on Hay House actually. And I fanned out the cards there's like 44 cards or something. I fanned out my cards and I picked a card up and it was the fates, which I thought was interesting. Right, I'm like the fates, I wonder what the fates is about and I interesting, right, I'm like the fates, I wonder what the fates is about.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 7:46

And I start to read the Oracle message and it says the serenity prayer sums up the meaning of this card. Right, of course it does. The serenity prayer sums up the meaning of this card. And I had been saying the serenity prayer in the shower thinking about how I wanted to do this episode on control, and so just the fact that this particular thing came up was so perfect. So it says the Oracle's message. The serenity prayer sums up the meaning of this card. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And it says there are things in life that you will never have control over. God. That's hard to take in sometimes, isn't it? There are things in life you'll never have control over. The conditions brought on by the evolution of the collective, by nature, by your past experiences, by your past experiences may be fated, preordained by spirit of a greater purpose you cannot understand in this lifetime. It may not be in your cards to understand why we're constantly asking, why we are constantly asking why. So it is saying it may not be in your cards to understand why certain events occurred, but you can accept the mystery and work with what those events and your current circumstances have to teach you. You know, in soul recovery, we're always leaning into this, knowing that we are here to learn. We are an earth school for a purpose. We are learning here, and when we start taking this concept that there's actually fates, there's something even greater still that we can't possibly understand.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 9:33

And recently I was watching something on Netflix because I don't watch anything violent and I don't want to watch anything gory and I don't watch anything stupid and I don't watch politics. Really, there's not very much left to watch after you list off all those things. So there's nature shows. So I'm watching a nature show and it's talking about how, with animals, they have things that they can hear that we can't even hear. And there was another show that I'd watched about how they can see things that we can't see because there's this whole other spectrum of light and of sound that is way beyond what our human body can take in.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 10:10

Well, that's the same in spirituality. There's this whole other level of awareness and dimensions and spectrums of understanding that we can't see or feel from our humanness, and that's where fate begins to come in. Can we begin to trust and know that there's something even more that we can't possibly truly get that we're learning, that we're growing, we're having more awareness, and I'm not one of those people that can talk to angels or they can say, when I'm channeling which I do channel information I don't know who it is that's talking to me. I just have a knowing that comes through me and I have this feeling like, oh, I wish that I could say it's the light council or the masters or the whatever it is. There's people that have those, those things because they've moved into that knowing. And again, when you're working with me or listening to me, take what you need and leave the rest. I'm here in. Spirituality is really for you to cultivate what feels right and good to you. I continue to sort of go further and further out there, but I'm not trying to ask you to come out there with me.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 11:25

The whole concept is that when we can really recognize that there isn't always a why and that even knowing the why takes us away from the moving forward and learning from this obsession with why do we feel this way? Why did that person do this? Why is it like this? Why, why, why, why, why is trying to control? It's a level of trying to understand and control. What I love about this is that it's really encouraging us to take the serenity prayer into this next level of wisdom, which is to put fate in the toolbox. To put fate in the toolbox, we can't understand why somebody else has to go through what they have to go through.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 12:12

And for those of us that are here because we have someone who has addiction or codependence or working our people pleasing because that's what kept us safe when we were younger Control is a big piece of how we try to keep it all together. We're just trying to keep it all together. Well, if you can open up that there is a fate here that it is theirs to learn in their process the way that they're supposed to learn it, then we can start to surrender, to surrender to the flow and open to the knowing that there is something more. There is something more. We can open and allow that, whatever that is for them to be, whatever it is. And when we're letting go of control, we're not rowing it out for the wolves, we're trusting that there's something even greater still. That's holding that space, not only for them but for ourselves.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 13:09

And when I think about soul recovery and how much we tend to come here because of others, because we want to fix or control or take care of or mend or do something for others, we continue to come back to this place that says my healing is my number one priority. My healing that when I learn more about myself, when I can surrender, when I can trust my fate, what is my fate here? What is my karma here? How can I listen to what I need and stop trying to do for others? Right, that's the part of the serenity prayer that I love the courage, right, the courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference. So much is the wisdom to know the difference of what is ours and isn't ours. So it says a relationship message. This particular guidebook has quite a few little sections. So it says relationship message.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 14:06

Other people are who they are. You can't change them. The challenge is to accept them as they are and not try to make them otherwise to suit you. Oh, my goodness, right, not make them suit you. This is the time to look at how you attempt to mold people to fit your view of how they should be, so that you can remain in the relationship and avoid discomfort. What if? Who they are and whatever is happening between the two of you in this situation is perfect from the perspective of spirit. Now is the time to accept what you cannot change, even if it means that you honor yourself, spirit and the other person by moving on. That is a powerful statement. What if the fate is about moving on? What if the fate is to look at the situation with clarity and compassion and gentleness and truly see that letting go by not controlling, by stepping away from the need to fix it or have it be molded to your liking, means that it's time to walk away.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 15:13

I am so really inspired by those of you that, especially on the Facebook private Facebook group that share stories of courage, of being willing to step away and to choose yourself. That is big work. It is big work because if you have someone in your life who is making choices that is not healthy for them or for you, and you have stood there and been supportive and loving and tried to give them space to do for themselves and there just is not going to happen, is not going to happen. It's time for them to have their own fate, not a consequence of being guilted or shamed or punished, but really just an awareness that their soul has its own fate, it has its own karma, it has its own destiny and that you can stop being tied to that fate. And stop being tied to that fate. Are you ready to step into your soul recovery? Well, I am here to support you as your spiritual coach. Visit the website to book one-on-one coaching sessions with me as we transform your life through working the nine steps of soul recovery. You can also choose to work the steps on your own through the modules at your own pace.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 16:33

I'm excited to also be announcing that there are retreats every year, both in Colorado and other places in the country, workshops and events, and I hope that you also will join us the first Monday of every month from 6 to 7 pm, mountain Standard Time for the free Zoom support group. This is an amazing place for us to connect, learn and share our stories. And don't forget to join the private Facebook group for soul recovery, inspiration, connection, answering each other's questions and giving shout outs. I thank you for supporting this podcast, either by being a Patreon member, apple podcast subscriber and getting that extra episode every Friday, or by your one time donations or your small monthly donations that are found in the show notes. You are helping spread the soul recovery message and supporting this community. Visit the website recoveryoursoulnet for dates, times, everything that's happening, register for the support group and how to stay connected. Together we can do the work that will recover your soul.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 17:39

It says love unconditionally, for each of us is on our own journey and we cannot direct that of another. Be aware that this relationship is indeed faded and you are meant to evolve into a better version of yourself as the result of it. Every situation that we're in offers us an opportunity to step more fully into ourselves, and sometimes that means that we have to look at ourselves in a certain way, with real, real honesty of places where we could step up to the plate better. And sometimes it's a place where we learn that we need to stand up in strength. And sometimes it's an opportunity to just observe, just rest, just allow, just let it be what it is. For that time being, put all the attention on yourself and just let whatever their fate is take place.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 18:27

The final little section is called the protection message, and it says it's difficult to understand why painful things happen to good people. Fate is a mystery, after all, yet what we do with our circumstances, the way in which we respond to life's challenges is how we rise up to greet our destiny. Now is one of those times to be aware of your powerlessness to change certain situations and surrender into acceptance. Hang in there, life will only get better. Act as if you believe that, for the only thing that you can control right now is your attitude. When you align with the fates, being mindful of what you can and cannot change, serenity will come to you.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 19:11

So I just thought it was beautiful that that was what came this morning when I opened up my my Oracle deck, because, if we can move into this concept around releasing control and again, control is sneaky, sneaky, sneaky stuff, because it's never about losing our voice or not showing up in our full self or being present in situations or taking action. It's around this idea that we're trying to manipulate, change, maneuver, do something in a situation that involves making somebody else be something for our comfort, for our belief of how we think it should be. And this beautiful awareness about fates means that we can start to release and let go and see that there is something even bigger at work here, that we can stop thinking that we know all the answers, and one of the things that Jesus said is be like little children, and Rich and I were just talking this morning sort of about this concept that the older you get, the more you start to realize that there's less actually to know and that, in a way, you're gaining more and more and more wisdom and more and more and more awareness and then, at the same time, you're actually opening up to this concept that says be like little children, be, be curious, be interested, be in awe, be in wonder of what life is and how it's all turning out. Instead of this rigid trying to hold it all together piece, it's more like hmm, that's interesting, I wonder how that's going to turn out.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 21:01

Now, again, it's not easy to use these practices and principles when it feels like your life is completely out of hand and when you feel like your family members or your friends are completely out of hand and there's a lot of pain involved and there's a lot of questions about how to show up in each situation. And the beauty about soul recovery is that there's no right or wrong way and there's no judgment of anyone involved and especially of yourself. It's about being present in this moment and just recognizing. Ah, I'm trying to control that. I have a I have a expectation here and that expectation is not being met and and I can see that that's providing me with discomfort I can see I'm suffering from that, and it doesn't mean that we don't have feelings, because our feelings are actually the GPS that's telling us what we need to know about ourselves.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 21:59

But when we can start to look at this concept that there is even more still to every single thing that's happening in our lives and in the world, and a belief that if we just show up from our fullest self world, and a belief that if we just show up from our fullest self, if we are true to our higher self and in our alignment and in our integrity and our authenticity, that we are actually providing an energy that is vibrating out to others that will help benefit everyone involved, and that the fates will line up and we get to have the life that we choose. What we think and feel and believe is what will happen. Our thoughts are things, our thoughts are powerful and as we do this work and we start to truly release the stickiness that is the residue around everybody else's stuff and come back to ourselves and recognize that we are going to co-create with spirit for what is right for us and that this idea of releasing control of them gives us our power back. We are taking our power back. We are going to stop saying that they need to be a certain way for us to be a certain way and that we can recognize that we can be okay even if everyone else isn't okay.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 23:20

The fates where are you trying to hold on to someone else's fate and can you trust that, whatever that fate is, as painful and difficult as it may be, it may be theirs to learn? And come back to yourself and look at your fate. What is yours to learn? Where can you connect to yourself and how can you show up as your true self in every situation? We're in this together. We're in this together in so many ways, and I just thank you for being part of this community. I'm always here to help. Check out the website recovery soulnet for more information on other ways to get involved and be supported, and I thank you for being here today. Until next time, namaste. Until next time, namaste.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 24:14

Thank you for listening to the Recover your Soul podcast and, if you loved what you heard here, every Friday we have a bonus episode and you can access this by becoming a subscriber through Apple Podcasts for only $3.99 a month, or become a Patreon member, and on this platform, you can choose $5, $15, or $25 a month to show what you want to support the show with On both of these subscriber platforms is an entire catalog of back episodes intended to inspire and support you on your soul recovery journey.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 24:48

I really want to invite everybody to attend the free once a month, every first Monday of the month, support group. This is on zoom. Everyone is welcome to attend and by giving a like or a review and sharing this with your friends and family really helps us to share the soul recovery message with even more people. We are on social media. We are on all the platforms. I am on Tik TOK. You can listenided Meditations by Rev Rachel Harrison on Insight Timer. Thank you for supporting the show. Thank you for being part of the community. To find out more about soul recovery and everything that's being offered, visit the website wwwRecoveryYourSoulnet. Together, we can do the work that will recover your soul.