'Who Do You Need Me to Be?' Breaking Free from Codependency and Self-Abandonment

In this episode, we dive deep into the profound question: "Who do you need me to be to love me?" Inspired by a quote from Kortney Rivard on Tiny Buddha, I explore how we often shape-shift in relationships to gain love and acceptance, abandoning our own needs and truth in the process. Through the lens of Soul Recovery, we’ll talk about breaking free from the patterns of codependency and self-abandonment, and how to show up authentically in our relationships with a compassionate, strong, and empowered voice. Join me as we uncover how to reclaim your truth and live from your authentic self.

Join Rev Rachel and the community for the FREE Soul Recovery Support Group on the 1st Monday of every month for a quick live mini workshop with Rev Rachel, time for questions and then meeting in small groups to connect and share your Soul Recovery.  Next group is Monday October 7th from 6 to 7PM Mountain Time. Same link each month, register on the website www.recoveryoursoul.net!!! 

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.

Chapters

• 0:00 Soul Recovery
• 10:55 Navigating Relationship Challenges With Authenticity
• 28:02 Nurturing Authentic Relationships Through Boundaries

Transcript

Rev Rachel Harrison: 0:31

It's human nature to want to be loved and accepted and in previous podcasts you've heard me talk about not abandoning or betraying yourself. So when I came across a quote that talked about when we want to be loved and accepted, that sometimes we shape, shift who we are and we abandon our own needs to try to meet the needs of somebody else, I knew it was a great topic of conversation. How can we use soul recovery to show up in each one of our relationships from our authentic self, having a compassionate, strong and empowered voice? That's what we're going to talk about today. Enjoy the episode. Welcome to the Recover your Soul podcast a spiritual path to a happy and healthy life. My name is Reverend Rachel Harrison. I started Recover your Soul after having profound changes in my life, from my recovery of alcoholism, codependency and control addiction. I was guided to share the tools and principles of spirituality and soul recovery to help others transform their lives, as mine was transformed. For us to overcome external circumstances, we need to turn the attention to ourselves, focusing on our inner change and healing. Positive results in our lives will follow. Welcome to the Recovery Soul Podcast. It's Rev Rachel and I am so grateful that you are here spending your time with me today on your soul recovery. If you are new to the soul recovery community, welcome. We're glad you're here, and if you continue to come back to deepen this practice within yourself, I am honored.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 2:12

Today's episode is around communication and it's around how we show up in the communication and whether we are being authentic to ourselves in that presence, and it's inspired by a quote from my tiny Buddha tear off calendar that was gifted to me by one of the community members, and I just love this particular calendar. I swear every single one is so good. There are so many good ones. There was one that I was reading that I had been keeping to put a quote on the podcast, and I just love all of them, but this one I've been keeping on my desk that says allow people to have their moods and allow their moods to have nothing to do with you. That was one of the quotes, but what I wanted to talk about today was this quote from the September 24th sheet and it says when you're always trying to feel loved and accepted, you'll ask yourself questions like who do you need me to be to love me? You hear that you ask questions like who do you need me to be so that you'll love me. This is such a profound part of our people pleasing and codependence. It says you'll shift, you'll shapeshift to fit someone else's needs and abandon your own. The end result is similar to being rejected, because you end up feeling alone, except this time it's because you've abandoned yourself and your truth. So that is the foundation of this conversation today about not abandoning ourselves and our truth, about being authentic and how we show up and that part of us that wants to shapeshift and this was a quote by Courtney Rivard, given this quote's credit.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 4:01

When you're always trying to feel loved and accepted, when you are trying to feel loved and accepted by other people giving your power away, you'll ask questions like who do you need me to be so that you'll love me? That's what we're going to talk about today, and the reason why this is really up for me is because, as I deepen my soul recovery journey, it's this constant unlayering of my own perceptions. This is what we talk about so much these beliefs, these perceptions, these stories that we tell ourselves. Beliefs, these perceptions, these stories that we tell ourselves. And I am continuing to be curious and unlayer these very deep rooted beliefs and even with all the work that I've been doing. You know that I journal so much. You know that I'm taking in so much information. I'm sharing that with you. I feel like I have really blossomed and grown into more and more of the authentic person that I'm here to be and at the same time and at the same time, oh so human Rachel is, and it can be so easy to sit in this space where I record this podcast and connect with people as a spiritual coach and feel the knowing of truth and feel my wholeness and really resonate and connect with something even greater still.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 5:24

But then what do we have to do? We've got to walk out into the world and bump into the relationships and the people that are difficult for us, that push our buttons, that make it complicated, and that continues to be a journey that I think we will all be on forever. There's not really any point in not having some level of discord for us to continue to grow from. I know that on some level I want it to all be easy and perfect and beautiful, but we don't usually grow from that. We don't usually learn and get better without some sandpaper rubbing us down, making us smooth and beautiful and the truth of who we are right Like. So I've got my sandpaper.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 6:12

What I realized is that this powerful statement that really resonated with me was because I was a shapeshifter and I think I am. If I'm honest, I have to recognize that I can still shape shift to try to please people not nearly to the level that I used to, but we accommodate. We accommodate people, we accommodate situations. We want people to feel comfortable and that aspect of our personality is actually a beautiful piece of our awareness of ourself. But the shape shifting, the shape shifting to please someone else, abandons our self self. And yet, at the same time, it is complicated to be in these relationships where we're learning how to be that strong self and not be controlling the other person, not be wanting and attached to it being different in how they respond to us.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 7:12

So I recognize that from an early age I definitely learned that there was something that said to be loved and accepted. I need to ask the question of who do you want me to be, to be liked or loved by you? And you've been here before. You know some of these stories, so if you've been here before, you might hear some repeats. But what I realized is I knew very early on from my parents that just being good was important, not to rock the boat, not to ask for too much. And the more that I do this work on myself, the more I can see it with real gentleness and compassion. And there's less and less and less poor me.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 8:03

This was my experience because the truth was there really was no poor me in it, it just was. These were just the facts. These are just the people in their own experience with the best that they had a mom who was 23 years old, a dad who was 30, seemed so much older when I was younger. Now I realize how young that is and they're just doing the best they can with what they got. You know, they're just showing up in their ways and my soul, on a beautiful level, came in and knew that this was a pattern to set up. However, as I got older and older and older, this back and forth uncomfortable feeling of being rejected, of having the way that I was showing up maybe not fully loved or embraced right and we all have those stories.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 8:53

The key in soul recovery is that you are really feeling your experience, your feelings, how you created these beliefs, how you set up the patterns that have been part of the story of who you see yourself to be, the why you think you need to shape, shift to be loved and accepted. This is the piece that gives us the awareness that opens us up for change, right? So I've been working on these awarenesses for a long time and I have a piece of me that immediately shuts down and closes the door to my heart when I'm feeling unsafe. That is my protector. If you listen to the protector and parts episode from internal family systems and gestalt therapy, this concept that we have aspects of ourself that are wounded, that have pain, that have difficult, complex feelings, and then we have aspects of ourself that come up and create our defense mechanisms, our character flaws, our protections, how we keep ourselves safe. And control is one, anger is one. These are also what they call the character flaws in 12 step, right? So if I look at how my protectors are showing up when I'm in pain, my little list says that it's withdrawn, self-seeking, victim, self-righteous, afraid, controlling, defensive, denying, enabling, fearful, judgmental, anxious, isolating, masked and selfish. This is the side of me that responds in pain, right? So when I'm not in my whole, healthy, authentic self, I show up this way, when I'm showing up this way, I'm abandoning the truth of who I am, I'm playing into fear, I'm playing into my smallest, most fearful self and she's still working on it. She's still working on it.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 10:55

So Rich and I have been on this interesting journey since we had the kind of shake up in our relationship that was a couple episodes back, where we had fallen back into some of our patterns, and some of those patterns were me playing the role of this sort of docile, good wife that maybe isn't getting the emotional stimulation, the intimacy of like a tender, sweet intimacy, because it just had gotten kind of routine, it had gotten sort of back to I work, you work, the house gets taken care of, there isn't a lot of conversation, we watch TV together and I hadn't really realized that that was, as I've just described before, like stacking up these Jenga pieces, as Rich calls them, stacking up these discontents or these frustrations or these sadnesses. And I went back into old patterns of asking what do I need to be for you to love me, for you to feel safe? How do I show up in these old ways that are consistent with 32 years of being together, in these patterns and in the shake up, what I. What I said to him was I have to, I need to truly step out into my authentic self. I, I am being called to really do these practices and and that means that something has to change in this relationship. And that means that something has to change in this relationship.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 12:31

And there was the door that he opened that said, if you're not happy here, that you can leave. And the truth is, I don't want to leave my marriage. I just want us to be fully embodied in who we are. I want to be alive in my marriage and I want our marriage to be alive. Right, you can be asleep or you can be awake. And I want our marriage to be alive. Right, you can be asleep or you can be awake, and I want us to be awake.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 12:55

And yet there is an element of that that can have a control, a wanting of him to quote unquote be a certain way or to live up to some expectation, and I'm working really hard on that being not being the case. So he's gone to therapy and he is working with a male therapist which is great who offered a book for him to read. It's called no More Mr Nice Guy by Dr Robert Glover, and I love that he was given something to read because I think that, just like you're listening to me here, we want to bring in information that is going to align with who we are in our own spiritual journey and so, working with this therapist of the childhood things that happened in his life that have affected how he sees the world and so much of the soul recovery journey that I share with you, that so many of you are on these nine steps of soul recovery, I've never I don't think Richie was even looked and see what the nine steps are, and I'm conscientious of that because I'm not here to fix them Right. However, our communication style has been of a certain pattern and a certain dysfunction for 32 years, and so that breaking down the untying, the untethering of this complex, very, very old, very rooted in both of us communication system is what we are working on. So, after we had that conversation and and he felt like he woke up a little bit and he started going to therapy we've been doing a much better job of working on the sticky stuff.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 15:00

That has been difficult for us, and I just wanted to go through a little bit of something that happened recently, because it's this way of us interacting with ourselves. All we have control of is ourselves, and I want to share with you this process that goes on with me to make sure that I am not abandoning myself and I'm opening completely to accepting and being curious about somebody else's journey. This is where our healthiest selves can show up, but it isn't easy and it's complicated, and we don't have to do it 100% right. You don't have to do it 100% right. You just need to have an awareness and a desire to move forward in some fashion. That's around healing yourself and, through that, allowing somebody else to have space to heal themselves too. Are you ready to step into your soul recovery? Well, I am here to support you as your spiritual coach. Visit the website to book one-on-one coaching sessions with me as we transform your life through working the nine steps of soul recovery. You can also choose to work the steps on your own through the modules at your own pace.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 16:18

I'm excited to also be announcing that there are retreats every year, both in Colorado and other places in the country, workshops and events, and I hope that you also will join us the first Monday of every month from 6 to 7 pm, mountain Standard Time for the free Zoom support group. This is an amazing place for us to connect, learn and share our stories. And don't forget to join the private Facebook group for soul recovery inspiration connection, answering each other's questions and giving shout outs. I thank you for supporting this podcast, either by being a Patreon member, apple podcast subscriber and getting that extra episode every Friday, or by your one time donations or your small monthly donations that are found in the show notes. You are helping spread the soul recovery message and supporting this community. Visit the website recoveryoursoulnet for dates, times, everything that's happening, register for the support group and how to stay connected. Together, we can do the work that will recover your soul.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 17:18

So what's interesting with me, with Rich, is we've been having more conversations and doing our morning coffee and sometimes doing a Course in Miracles lesson together and talking about things. But I'm finding that there's still this element where we, when we go one level down to really having safety, to truly pour our heart out. It doesn't go well in the beginning because we both have our defenses on, and I'm going to actually stop talking about what I assume he has. I have my defenses on and what it looks like is I hear Rich talking about something, so he often talks about work and it's been a big piece of his life, this dance that he has around work. He's self-employed, he's a builder. He's been doing this hardscape amazing stuff for a long time. It's very physically demanding. It's difficult to have people working for you. It's difficult to work alone. It's this complex dance that he has been on for 25 years. More than that.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 18:29

He'd started when I was pregnant with Alex, so 28 years he's been on this journey of this self-employed dance that he's been on, and I've heard him talking about these same aspects for a very long time, and so in our recent conversation, what happened is he was talking about how difficult it is, and he was actually talking about it in the concept of a grind, that it's hard, that he struggles, and he was using all these words right. And so, as a coach, I know that the words that we use are really powerful and, as a wife, I'm sitting there trying to not coach him. I'm just trying to listen. I'm trying to just be compassionate and understand that sometimes we just need to vent. We just need to say this sucks or I don't like it, or I feel stressed today, or whatever those things are. And the interesting thing is is that in general, we use our spouses for that venting piece more than we often use our spouses for the celebration piece. We often are in that space of wanting support when we feel down but not celebrating when we feel up. I think I'm not the only person that has that in our relationship, the only person that has that in our relationship.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 19:55

So we've been doing pretty well and yet this one little moment happens where my response to him makes him feel like I'm not hearing him and because he's doing all this work, he's paying better attention. I asked him to wake up and here he is. He's actually waking up. So he's actually having a moment where he's saying ah, I noticed, that doesn't feel good to me. In a way that is actually very helpful. And yet at the same time, I'm wondering how I'm supposed to be showing up for him. You see how this is, how this, like dances, it's so interesting.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 20:29

So we end up having a little sticky moment where he says I feel I've learned from this book that I feel like you don't just listen to me, I don't feel heard, I feel like you're trying, you continually are trying to fix me, and that is hard for me and my response is I need to be able to have a voice too, right. And then here we are, in our defense mechanisms that we've had for so long. Okay, so what I want to get to in this is that the beauty is that we don't have a big, huge raging fight about it like we used to. That's success all by itself. I mean, the truth is, that is success all by itself. What generally happens as we start to have these moments and then we can see that we're both bumping up against each other and we are doing a much better job of just saying, okay, well, this feels a little uncomfortable. Clearly, this isn't what we anticipated. We wanted it to be, let's come back around to it later, which I am so grateful for.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 21:42

So I went and I did a whole bunch of journaling and what I came to was exactly what this piece of paper is about. That, I think, is so fascinating. We actually are in the same boat, rich and I. We are actually both working from our wounded, younger selves that just want to be heard and recognized and seen, and from that space, then our defenders are showing up as defensive right, as sort of this, this self-seeking, defensive posturing which is really our protecting our own wounded selves.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 22:21

And it's fascinating to really look at this long-term relationship that we've had that has had this never ending communication gap where they each feel, where we each feel we're missing some level of deep, unconditional love from the other, because we're mirroring and seeing what is lacking in ourselves. I'm mirroring and seeing what's lacking in me. I've said this over and over and I journal about this so much that what I am upset with him about so often, I am doing the exact same thing in that very moment that I'm upset about to him, right, I'm needing and wanting to be seen and loved unconditionally and he's wanting to be seen and loved unconditionally, but I'm loving him conditionally and he's loving me conditionally and he's wanting to be seen and loved unconditionally, but I'm loving him conditionally and he's loving me conditionally. And it's it's a battle right.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 23:18

So this concept of when you are always trying is the beginning of this quote, when you are always trying to feel loved and accepted. When we're looking outside, when we're trying to get from them what we think that we need, we start to ask ourselves questions like who do you need me to be for you to love me? Who do you need me to be. And so this beautiful dance that is available to us as souls, to start to see it with curiosity instead of pain and woundedness was that I went into this journaling exercise and I immediately went into the awareness. Ah, there she is again, my little girl, and I can tell that that part of me that is hurt from my experiences when I was younger which, you know, not by the fault of anybody trying to harm me happened in the stories that I told myself.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 24:21

The story that I told myself is I'm unlovable, my needs are not the most important needs. Other people's needs are more important and I don't have a voice. And so my response to that, when I have any piece of that sometimes is this pushy, controlling, self-righteous, self-seeking. You remember those things that I said earlier? Right, like that push that I have, and then that doesn't get responded to the way that I want. And then I go into my other ones. I get withdrawn, I get afraid, I get avoidant, I get fearful and I get anxious and I isolate, right, I mean, it's so fascinating to really start to look at how these beliefs have worked within us, and the beauty is then you see it, you have awareness around it. This is what we're doing in soul recovery is we're just seeing it, we're just seeing it. And so then I'm not in there blaming or going down the dark road about how I've never been loved by anybody in my life.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 25:29

That is not true. There's a part of me that wants to believe that that's true, but in the work of Byron Katie, you ask is that true? Is it true that my voice is being shut down? Is it true that just because I'm saying something and Rich isn't feeling heard, that I'm being rejected? And that isn't true, but it feels that way in that moment? Right, and for him, is it true that because I say something like you know, don't forget, your words are really powerful? Are you sure you want to use words like grind and struggling with? And is it true that I'm trying to fix him or I? I don't like him. That's the story he tells himself about me. I don't like him.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 26:32

Are you start to realize that when we shapeshift, when we try to meet the needs of somebody else, to please them, we lose ourselves and we're abandoning ourselves? And actually, the ask is for us to always be allowing them to step into their authentic self of whatever that is, and for you to step into your authentic self of whatever that is, and for you to step into your authentic self of whatever that is, and in that there's an opportunity for conversation. So then today, rich and I had come back and talk about it, and it's so powerful when we can start communicating from a place of authenticity and curiosity and kindness. And one of the things that we talked about is that there's competition between us that we can see that it's this competition of whose idea is the right idea, and even though it doesn't seem like we're doing that, it's really these younger parts of ourselves that are looking to be loved and accepted. Of course we want to be loved and accepted. Of course we do, but when that's our motivation for how the other person is supposed to show up for us, we're already behind a little bit. Can't we see that we're already loved and accepted by ourselves, by something greater still that the other people in our lives are mirrors for us, are there to be part of our experience, but we are not needing love and acceptance from them, from that unhealthy place.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 28:02

What I recognized in my journaling was my parents, my husband, my friends, my kids. They all are loving me from wherever they have in their will to give, in their style to give, in their way of being to give, and sometimes it's so beautiful and so much and so rewarding and so delicious. And sometimes it's not enough and it's okay to feel the feelings that say, oh, I wish there's some part of me that wishes that there was something different, and then to let it go and then to dissipate that energy, because then you're not grasping for trying to get, trying to make something happen, and abandoning your own needs, your own self, your own way of being. Now, if there's more depletion than giving, or if the way that somebody can love you really just isn't enough, that's okay too. It's not about judging them. It's about you being able to stand up for your authentic self and your truth and say I recognize that this doesn't fulfill me in my knowing who I am.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 29:22

Now, rich and I also stood in the kitchen and he said that his biggest fear is that I'm going to leave, and he teared up as he was talking about it that he's fearful that because I left before, because we just had the thing where I was seriously contemplating whether I would stay in the marriage, that this back door that he feels like is open is stirring up a lot of abandonment and fearful beliefs in him. And what I love is that we are moving into having more honest and courageous conversations with each other, where my old self would have totally just tried to make him feel better, would have just said absolutely I'm not going to do that and done everything I could to make him feel soothed. In that situation, the people pleaser codependent in me. How do I put your needs above mine? But what I was able to do was from my heart was to say my every intention is to be in this marriage and to make it work. But to make a promise to you that I will never leave doesn't feel authentic or fair to me, because I want a whole, growing, expanding life and relationship and I know that we can step into that. But if at some point it turns and it is not healthy, not okay. If I stand here and I tell you that I will never leave you, I am not being true to myself, I'm abandoning my truth.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 31:03

And what's beautiful is that he could actually hear, not the piece that said I can't make you that promise. What he heard was I want to be here and this is important to me. I can't remember if I've said this in other podcasts, but one of the words that was given to me, actually from a couples coaching client that I had and they so beautifully mirrored the words you matter to me and what you think and feel matters to me. And when we show up in relationships and stand in those conversations where what you think and feel matters to me, we can hear from their perspective what's going on, without all of our banter in the background that is us trying to figure out if we're accommodating them. Are we being defensive? We stop all of that backlash, all that ping pong, back and forth of who's winning, what's the competition, and what Rich and I decided in our conversation today was to work harder at hearing what the other person is saying versus what we think they're saying.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 32:14

From all of our old dialogue and pain from the past, that instead of me feeling like I hear him complaining, I'm going to just hear him feeling, because he has the right to feel those complex feelings. And if he wants to use the word grind or struggle, who am I to say to not use those words? Just because I'm going to choose not to use those words doesn't mean he can't choose to use those words or feel those feelings, and if he can hear that I'm not trying to coach him constantly, he might actually hear I'm just talking. I'm just talking and sharing what's important to me and the value of my voice that I need to have as well. And we also really recognize together that we're both these selves really looking for that love and acceptance from each other and through that, that bumping up is keeping us from what we both want and that we're going to make a bigger choice, a bigger commitment to each other to let go of the competition, to stop seeing it as competition and to be more present for each other. And you know, in that moment I looked at my husband and I felt the kind of connection and warmth that I want so badly. I could feel it right there from both of us, and it was from being willing to be vulnerable, being willing to be open, being willing to stand in my integrity, to not abandon myself, to not say things that are untrue, but to be very cautious and conscientious about the words that I'm using, from my truth in the most healthy way that I can and, at the same time, to let go of this belief that I'm going to do it in some perfect way that is going to keep everything from being sticky or uncomfortable or difficult. That is going to keep everything from being sticky or uncomfortable or difficult, and I think he felt better too. I think he felt better too.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 34:15

It isn't about not having relationships with people, because really that is the beauty of being a human being is we get to have these really interesting, painful, loving, courageous, creative interactions with other human beings. And of course, we all want to have healthy relationships. Soul recovery is around us, working on our relationship with ourself first, to truly recognize how we are seeing it, to notice those perceptions, to continue to uncover the beliefs, to uncover the patterns and even with all the work that I've been doing, I am still peeling the layers and then I can come from the side of me. That is the truth of who I am, my authentic self and in the reflection of those character defects as an asset. So when you do 12 step and you do the character defects and assets and I do this actually as part of people who are coaching with me on patterns and beliefs as well so if my unhealthy self shows up withdrawn, self seeking, victim, self, righteous, afraid, and so on controlling, withdrawn, self-seeking, victim, self-righteous, afraid and so on, controlling.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 35:29

Then, when we stand in this authenticity of who we are, when we stop abandoning ourselves, when we stand in our strength and we know that we are connected to source, when we let go of those old beliefs and we update them into the truth of who we are, we can start showing up in every situation from our whole, healed self. And the other side of those defense mechanisms for me are outgoing, selfless, grateful, accepting, realistic, humble, modest faces, problems, tolerant, respectful, open to criticism, accepting, courageous, confident, kind, closed mouth and secure. Courageous, confident, kind, closed mouth and secure. And what I love about this is this is the truth of who I am, when I show up in my most authentic, true self. And in the conversation in the kitchen with my husband earlier that's, who showed up with an open heart, a willingness to hear difficult things, a willingness to face the problems, to be realistic, to be accepting, to really be honest about what's happening in the facts, of what they are, and to shed all of the sticky stuff that keeps us from being our authentic self, from being our authentic self to love and accept him as he is and to love and accept myself as I am and to be fully awake. That's what we're striving for, as always. I always say this. I'm going to say it every time If you're ready for soul recovery and you want coaching with me, I am here to work the nine steps of soul recovery together.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 37:09

You can do the process at your own timing, and it just is so amazing to be working with people and seeing the incredible, incredible transformations that are happening in people's lives. If you're one of those people who's coming to me, you know who you are. There are huge, huge transformations happening in people's lives, how they see it, how they're showing up, and it doesn't mean life doesn't stop being sticky and strange. It's going to continue being sticky and strange. That's just how life is. My life continues to be that way, but instead of being so hurt and angry for days or weeks or months or years like I used to, we just had another unlayering uncovering of even more understanding of ourselves and each other, and that is progress. That's beautiful. That's what we're doing in soul recovery and that's what working with me, doing the steps or doing the steps on your own through the program, whatever you choose, your own through the program, whatever you choose.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 38:09

Just listen to the podcast, just do these things. I'm here for you and the community is here for you. Until next time, namaste, thank you for listening and I hope that that helps support your soul recovery process. I just wanted to give you a quick reminder that every Friday is the Recover your Soul bonus podcast and this is available both to Apple podcast subscribers for $3.99 a month, or it's available for both free and paid Patreon members. So as a Patreon member, you can choose. Do you want to support the podcast with $5, $10 or $25 a month? Totally volunteer. But to let you know that if you want to listen to those bonus episodes incredible interviews, wonderful book studies you don't have to be a paid member. You can access them in the first week or two that they're available free on Patreon.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 39:01

This community is so important to me and I want you to know I treat it with love and consideration. If you want coaching, I'm here for you. You want to come to a retreat? I'm here for you. You want to come to the free soul recovery support group? The community is here for you. Watch us on Facebook, instagram, follow us on all the social media for daily inspiration. Be part of the Facebook group and one of the most important things is that you share this podcast with people that you think that it will resonate with, that you think that they're interested. Give it five stars, give it a review. We are growing this community together because together we can do the work that will recover your soul.