EP.42 - Molly Shaw - Beware The Underdog and Reveal Your Creativity

This week Bryce sits down with Molly Shaw! She is a professional beach volleyball player and adventure seeker.
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Transcript

Bryce Smith (00:01.93)
What's up everybody? Welcome back to All Smith. Today's guest is a pro beach volleyball player. She's a Chicagoan that was cut from her high school indoor volleyball team and was a walk -on on her college beach volleyball team. This is a story of a dream chaser who has overcome tremendous adversity and her favorite quote, nothing is overnight, but everything is attainable.

Molly (00:30.638)
Hehehe.

Bryce Smith (00:31.21)
Today I'd love to introduce Molly Shaw. Welcome to the show.

Molly (00:34.702)
Hi, thanks for having me.

Bryce Smith (00:36.714)
I love being able to say that just in doing some of the research and looking at your story behind the scenes. I really wanted to start by introducing you as a pro beach volleyball player just because of the irony of getting cut early on in your high school days. When you hear that as like part of your resume now, how does it make you feel?

Molly (00:51.278)
you

Molly (00:57.582)
Man, I forget to look back a lot. I forget to remember where I came from, which is nothing. So when you say like that and you make me think about it, I think it's so special to actually swallow that. Because I'm still in the spot of feeling like I have to prove myself. And to actually think about where I've come and where I'm going, it's really special. So thanks for the...

making you think about that.

Bryce Smith (01:27.626)
Absolutely. I mean, it's I think Baker Mayfield who was drafted into the NFL a few years back he had this this phrase that he titled the walk -on mentality and I think there's something to that right like just being able to Intrinsically have this belief in yourself that you are gonna make it or at the very least you're gonna squeeze every ounce of juice out of that orange to try to make it but simultaneously

Molly (01:38.766)
Mm -hmm.

Molly (01:52.462)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (01:55.498)
You have this chip on your shoulder of like, man, they cut me. They didn't believe in me and I'm gonna prove them wrong. What does it feel like to kind of self reflect on that? If you look back to your high school days, like what did that feel like to be cut?

Molly (02:00.718)
Yeah.

Molly (02:08.398)
It was a lot. I think whenever something like that happens to me and I say it that way because it does continuously happen, like I'm consistently feeling like I am having to prove myself, like I said, and there's a lot of examples of that. And that feeling the first time it happened just felt like my world was over. Like this sport that I gave a lot to was like, no, we don't want you. And I remember feeling like, this is it. And

you know, I had to be a little bit dramatic. I had to feel like those emotions with it. And once I was able to feel that, I was like, okay, like, what can you do from here? Push on, like keep going. And I had a lot of support and my family was like, why not keep going? Like try beach volleyball, why not? And I was like, okay, that sounds weird, but I have nothing else to do, I guess. So I think at that point I was like, okay, new goal, something else, like same concept, same sport, but like the goal changed. And it was like,

Yeah, like you said, a chip on my shoulder a little bit.

Bryce Smith (03:08.97)
That's cool. How did you decide to pivot from indoor to beach? Cause from the outside looking in, it's still volleyball, similar concept, like you said, but it's a very different sport and the timing is significantly different. There's definitely a little bit of a delay in beach volleyball as far as the timing of the jump and whatnot. How did you ultimately make that decision to pivot to beach, especially being from Chicago?

Molly (03:26.478)
in the

Molly (03:34.926)
Yeah, Chicago does have man -made beaches. They're not great, but they're there. So I got cut and one of my indoor club coaches that I had was like, you know, you should check out this other club. They have beach volleyball. Why not try out? See if you like it. And I remember, I vividly remember my mom dropping me off and it was hot, sweaty.

I all of a sudden had to wear sunglasses. There's the sun in your eyes, wind. And I was like, I hate this. And I remember feeling super embarrassed and like everybody was watching me. And that was probably one of the worst days of volleyball of my life. Cause I was like, I hate this so much. And my mom would not let me stop until I was like four practices in, I think it was. She's like, I'm going to give you four practices. And if you hate it by then, then you can walk away. And I was like, okay. And by the fourth day, I actually, or the fourth,

Bryce Smith (04:15.498)
Thank you.

Molly (04:29.422)
training that I had, I actually started to like it. So I'm glad my mom forced me to do that. Yeah.

Bryce Smith (04:35.05)
It's so cool. It's so interesting, like looking how, looking back how a moment in time or a singular choice can change the trajectory of your entire life. Let's just say hypothetically, you did walk away from it or your mom allowed you to walk away from it. Like how your life would potentially look so much different now. Have you and your mom ever talked about that?

Molly (04:54.794)
Yeah. No, we haven't. That's such a cool concept to think about. I mean, I wouldn't even have met the person I'm married to, I think. So to think about that is very bizarre. And my family is definitely like sports focused. My mom made me play an instrument and a sport up until I think high school. And then she was like, choose whatever you want. And that was really cool of my parents to have us do that. So my parents were very much like,

find a hobby, find a community. And I really love that about how they raised us. So I think it was very on brand for my mom to be like, no, you can't stop until you tell me you absolutely hate it. I was like.

Bryce Smith (05:36.681)
I think that's rad. I also grew up playing an instrument. I played the trumpet when I was young. What instrument did you play?

Molly (05:42.99)
The saxophone and piano. The trumpet's cool though. No, I don't. I don't even know how to play those instruments. Yeah.

Bryce Smith (05:44.97)
very cool. Do you still play the piano today?

Bryce Smith (05:50.698)
That's fascinating. Something that stands out to me as far as the relationship between sports and music is there is a little bit of a rhythm to certain things and there's an audible component that I'm sure plays a role in like your sensor, your sensory like observation of the game, of the sport, of the rhythm, the sound when you hit the ball, when you set the ball, when you bump the ball. I do think it configures the mind at a young age when you're just in those developmental stages of

Molly (06:13.454)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (06:20.266)
of childhood and you're evolving towards, you know, where you are now in sport. Just that concept of appreciation for like the crescendo, the buildup, and then allowing things to come down and knowing that most sport is a game of runs and realizing like management of your emotions, your breath, your heart rate, your physiology, how you communicate with your teammates. All those things are.

Molly (06:43.758)
Mm -hmm

Bryce Smith (06:45.802)
collaborative a little bit with music. So it is interesting just to see the success you've had and how you play and the rhythmic connection between the two.

Molly (06:54.158)
Yeah, that's fascinating to bring up because I think I go through practice and those things are just happening naturally. Like my partner talking to me in the middle of the play telling me where to hit the ball. And it's just kind of common sense now. But when you break it down like that, it is something that took so long for us to get used to. And it's, it's a tough, you know, skill to have is like having, you know, the ability to listen in a millisecond of like, if your partner is saying like,

hit cross -court and I'm just like, okay, I have to change where I'm hitting now because they told me in the millisecond. So it is fascinating to think about.

Bryce Smith (07:30.305)
It's like a formulative time where the audible input from your partner in the beginning was probably seemingly conscious competence where you're like thinking and maybe there's a delay and it's challenging to like shift your body position and listen to the cue that they're yelling. But then over the course of time, practice and simply reps, it then becomes unconscious competence where it's almost like cross -court, boom.

Molly (07:48.078)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (07:58.09)
you're able to do it faster probably than the blink of an eye. And it is really cool to see beach volleyball is such an incredible sport. And just the lateral movement, like the ability to play with the elements, like you mentioned, the sun, the wind, the sand. I mean, the slippery sunscreen, the management of all the...

Molly (08:02.286)
Yeah.

Molly (08:08.206)
It is.

Molly (08:18.83)
Yeah.

Molly (08:22.798)
you

Bryce Smith (08:24.01)
different elements, I mean maybe somebody else on the other side of the net is a little bit sweaty, so now the ball has like a slippery texture to it. How are you able to kind of manage a bunch of the different things that are seemingly outside of your control in such a cool sport?

Molly (08:38.542)
Yeah, I think every location we play in, there's some new adversity. And I'm so used to something almost comical happening where we were in Nicaragua a few weeks ago and it was torrential downpouring. I think every 20 minutes it would stop and then it would downpour. It would stop and it would downpour. And it was like...

the second it downpoured, the refs had to put their jackets on, everyone had to like cover up. It felt like, it felt like an SNL skit. I was like, this is not happening. And so I was like, you know, when you're in the game and you're like, I hate this, I hate this feeling, this is so uncomfortable. It's like, okay, this is probably gonna prepare me for the next time it happens and to just kind of get used to it. Like I always think about how the other side of the court is experiencing the exact same issues. And it's not just me, cause it does feel like,

you're the worst person on the court right now, because you're dealing with the elements, because you are inside of yourself. And you always have to remind yourself, hey, the other side of the court is dealing with the wind, has the rain on their side as well. And that definitely helps. It still is very uncomfortable, though.

Bryce Smith (09:49.546)
For sure. It's a great bit of insight though into your self -talk and realizing that it is very easy to fall into that. Poor me. This is really shitty and I'm really uncomfortable. But now as you've gotten a little bit older and more experience under your belt, it's almost like, poor me, yes, I'm going to acknowledge that, say hello to it, but then it's not going to hang out because it's not allowing me to improve and there's no return on investment for it.

And then also realizing that you're not alone, that other people are going through the discomfort as well. And then seemingly that little chip in your head that we discussed previously, you're like, well, they're going through and I'm going through, well, I'm going to win. I'm going to figure this out better than they are. I'm going to show that I'm unbothered by this. And it becomes this little cat and mouse game, not just with yourself, but with your body language in relation to the other people on the court.

Molly (10:33.486)
Yeah.

Molly (10:45.134)
Yeah, I mean, self -talk is everything in beach volleyball because you can't sub yourself out. So it's seriously, if you're in a game and you see the other team, one of them is like mentally not there or they're getting really angry or their emotions are up and down. It's like, okay, go at them. It's like immediately a shift. And I think, you know, for yourself, being able to hide it because there are self doubt and there is like all of this uncomfortableness.

at every point of the game, like if you're getting served, it's kind of like, my God, am I the bad one? Like, why are they going at me kind of thing? And you have to like get through it and kind of fake it if you're not feeling confident. You have to fake it. And if you don't, I mean, it goes downhill really fast.

Bryce Smith (11:27.21)
No, totally. I think the phrasing that most people think of it as is they have to have the thing to do the thing to be the person. And what I mean by that is like, if you're being served, you almost think like, all right, I have to have my hands a certain way. I have to have perfect elements when the ball comes over the net in order for me to do the thing, bump the ball appropriately to my partner. And then I will

be the good returner. But in reality, it's what you just said. You actually flipped the order. I have to be the person that does the thing, and then I will have the success. And so I love the way you phrase that around. Like, maybe there are times where you have to fake it, and your self -talk has to be, I don't know what scouting report they had, but I'm a great passer right now, and I'm about to show them, right?

Molly (11:58.958)
Yeah.

Molly (12:09.07)
Yeah.

Molly (12:18.03)
Yeah. Totally. I love that mindset.

Bryce Smith (12:24.586)
That's cool. Thinking about self -talk, something that I pulled here, which is very special in an article that was written about you. It's very interesting because you're still in your 20s. You're still very young. We're looking at an era of social media, the technological revolution, which is fast, dopamine, quick results. Everybody wants it now. Uber eats culture, Netflix culture.

Molly (12:32.366)
Thank you.

Molly (12:42.35)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (12:53.322)
Press buy, it needs to be there, I don't wanna wait. If there's an internet lag, I'm frustrated. And you said this as you were transitioning into your AVP success. Nothing is overnight, but everything is attainable. How were you able to develop this concept of delayed gratification at such a young age overcoming so much adversity?

Molly (13:18.35)
Yeah, I mean, it's been a process. I think I've gone through a lot of growth. I used to be one of those athletes that would be very angry and aggressive and like the very emotional person on the court. I would be like the loudest person and because I wanted it so bad. Like I wanted it now. And I think as I'm aging, the more I give that energy to what I'm doing, the slower it comes and

I think that it was like working in opposite and now I'm like, okay, you know, obviously like patience is needed through all of this. I can't just like become an Olympian tomorrow. Like I have to work for it. So I think that's kind of how I've always viewed it. And my other favorite quote is beware the underdog. I actually have a tattooed on my body and that's just kind of how I see myself is like, like you said, another trip on my shoulder. It's like I get on the court and I'm, I'm

looking at them like, okay, maybe you have a name, but like, I'm not supposed to win this game. So this is gonna be fun when I beat you or this is gonna be interesting if I take you to three or if you're like put in a corner. So that kind of all wraps up together for me. I think it took a lot of growth and I'm still growing through it, through the patience. It's not my best. Yeah.

Bryce Smith (14:39.242)
Very well said and the concept that comes to mind for me there is just the lion that's climbing the mountain is a lot hungrier than the lion that's at the top. And so inevitably you're climbing to try to get to that Olympian status. And I think it's very cool that you are so married to the process and divorced from the outcome because the outcome's not always in your control. That's cool.

Molly (14:49.038)
Yeah, true.

Molly (15:03.758)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (15:05.802)
What was your upbringing like? What other sports were you involved in when you were really young? And did you have siblings that you had maybe little battles with or what kind of added like fuel to the fire in your competitiveness?

Molly (15:14.382)
Thank you.

Molly (15:20.334)
Yeah, I have two older sisters. We all, yeah, I'm the baby. My two older sisters and I were the same concept. We all had to play a sport and an instrument when we were growing up. And so we all played softball. We did basketball, soccer, cheerleading, dance. We did everything. And I think that some things we did camps for, and if my mom noticed that we were really checked out, she'd be like, okay, maybe we'll do more soccer.

Bryce Smith (15:25.322)
You're the baby.

Molly (15:50.094)
do softball, but my other sport that I was better at was softball. And I remember my mom making me like want it so much and her being like, you know, if you need, if you want this, you need to train for it. And she would pull me outside like, and we would go through, like I was the pitcher. So I would be pitching constantly to my mom and my mom would be my catcher because she also played. And I just remember my neighbors being like, Jenny.

let Molly have a break. You're always out here with her. And my mom was like, I'm teaching her that she needs to work for it. And so I remember being like annoyed with my mom for that and thinking like, my God, I wanna hang out with my friends. But my mom was like, you know, you committed to this, we gotta go pitch. I'm like, so that fueled it. And then my dad's really competitive too. So those two personalities group together, I think brings a lot of that.

but my sisters don't play sports anymore, but they were always like way more talented than me at the time. So I looked up to them a lot and was like, I want to be like them. It wasn't like I want to beat them. It was like, I just want to be like them and get respect from them, which is interesting. Cause you'd think that I was like, I want to beat my sister, but it was never really like that.

Bryce Smith (17:10.762)
Interesting. When was the defining moment for you when you finally kind of obtained the respect of your older sisters?

Molly (17:19.182)
I think it was, man, I think it was when I, maybe two moments, the first one being I won like 18 new nationals when I still played in Illinois as a junior player. And I remember both of my sisters and parents were there. And I remember everyone like supporting me and feeling like, you know, that was about me and they were there to see me succeed.

And then another one was when they came and watched me play my first time in college. And it was like, you know, I walked on, I was really insecure about myself because I was like, my God, I'm not supposed to be here kind of thing. And I remember my whole family being there and me looking at them being like, they love me and they want me to do well. And, you know, my sisters weren't athletes at that time. So I was like, you know, I'm the athlete in the family and like they're wearing my college shirt and they're cheering for me.

I think that was when I was like, my gosh, like, you know, the tides have changed a little bit.

Bryce Smith (18:20.202)
Wow, that's amazing. I like the way you described it with so much imagery, because I'm almost imagining myself in the stands, like watching you have that moment where you like peek up and you see the family there.

Molly (18:26.382)
You

Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's, yeah, it's very vivid in my mind.

Bryce Smith (18:34.09)
That's super cool. So you got cut from the indoor team. Then you decided to transition to beach volleyball. What came, what came next there?

Molly (18:41.965)
Mm -hmm

Molly (18:46.958)
I joined beach volleyball and kind of was like not really sure what I was doing and I that was when beach volleyball in college started to become something and I remember that coach I was working with at the time was like you know you could probably go to school for this and I was like that'd be fun I'd love to do that I've always wanted to move to California and so I reached out to every single California school you could think of every single one sent letters

thousands of emails, I was emailing the same teams like 15 to 20 times and I was like, they're gonna respond to me. I don't care if they think I'm annoying, they're gonna respond. They never did. And I remember being like, man, no one wants to meet this kind of stinks. Here we go again. And then I got a response from Grand Canyon and they were like, look, we have no spots for you. We have no scholarship, but you're more than welcome to be a manager. And I was just like, like, here we go.

And I was considering it and my mom was like, ask them if you can walk on, like see if there's a tryout. And I was like, okay, I didn't know that was possible. So I asked them and they were like, you're more than welcome to, you know, we're not paying for like the travel. Like we can't help you in that sense. If you come to the school and try out, like we can't promise you a spot. So that's basically on you. If you come to the school and you get in, like you're in college here, but you may not make the team. So I was like, okay, well.

All right, I guess I'm going to the school because I'm going to try on. And so for some reason after that email, I was like, let's go. I'm going to be on the team. And my mom was like, you've got to try out first. And I was like, OK, but I'm going to make it. If I'm going, I'm going to make it. So yeah.

Bryce Smith (20:26.41)
That's so cool that you had such confidence before even getting there.

Molly (20:30.19)
blind confidence, I guess. I don't really know where that came from. I'm glad I had it.

Bryce Smith (20:35.05)
That's so cool. Like I love hearing it and just like feeling your energy in relation to it just because the other side of that ideology could have been, well, they're kind of giving me like a surface level tip of the iceberg answer. They're not really familiar with my, maybe your accolades or your track record up until that point. They've never even really seen you.

Molly (21:01.55)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (21:02.154)
And then what's the comparison? Who else is coming in? Who else have they sent that same email to? I mean, you could go downward and downward down a hole, thinking about all the different circumstances. But you had one circumstance. And I just think it's so cool when you're so focused on the light at the end of the tunnel that nothing else matters. They almost had blinders on of like, yeah, yeah, that's cool. You think I'm not going to make it. I'm going to make it. That's cool. There's this distraction over here. I'm going to make it.

Molly (21:16.43)
Yeah.

Molly (21:28.942)
You

Yeah. Yeah.

Bryce Smith (21:32.042)
I get to go to California. I'm going to make it. And it's like, you just, you just were so narrowly focused on the thing. And I think there's, there's a lot of power to that, right? Like look at all the distractions when you're playing now, hecklers, referees, maybe shit talking across the net. Like there's so many different things that can serve as distractions. But I do think that when you look at the highest form of currency, it's not money. I don't think it's time. I actually think it's attention.

Molly (21:43.726)
Mm -hmm.

Bryce Smith (22:00.106)
and how you choose to spend that attention and that focus. That's rad. I like hearing that.

Molly (22:05.454)
Thanks, yeah. I just remembered one of the first days that I got there, like I enrolled into college. I got like, you know, a group chat message saying, you know, we're meeting in the locker room. I'm like, where's the locker room? And I remember I walked in there and everyone kind of looked at me like, who are you? And I remember sitting down and being like, I think nobody was told I was coming. And I remember feeling so uncomfortable, but I'm like, I'm here. Like I got to just sit here and have people figure out what my name is.

Bryce Smith (22:18.986)
Yeah.

Molly (22:34.926)
And I remember feeling like so uncomfortable, but like, okay, if this is where I have to be to like get into a tryout, then I have to be uncomfortable right now. But I just remember like little me sitting there being like, God, what is happening? So weird.

Bryce Smith (22:48.33)
Wow. I like that you said, I'm gonna sit here and everybody's gonna figure out my name. What floats to the surface for me is, I'm gonna make these people remember my name when it's all said and done.

Molly (22:55.566)
Yeah.

Molly (23:02.318)
Yeah, yeah, I think, you know, subconsciously, I probably had that at the time. And I mean, even now, and I think it was, yeah, it was like, you know, you're gonna tell me no so many times, maybe, or maybe so many times, but I'll try and prove you wrong. And if not, I'll prove you wrong. And I think that's what has happened. And I've been really lucky that I've been able to do that and perform at a high level. So I'm really thankful.

Bryce Smith (23:30.442)
Cool. What was the tryout process like when you got there? Was it one session or was it like a series of days? What did that look like?

Molly (23:37.358)
I think it was a week, if I'm remembering correctly. And I was just kind of in their practices and I was lifting with them too, but I didn't get any gear. So everyone had gear and I didn't yet. And I was very much like, what is the term? I was just like sticking out like a sore thumb. Like it was so obvious that I was the odd girl out. And I remember leaving every single day being like, okay, was I...

Did they partner me with a good person? If they didn't, why do you think that was? And I think that that's where like a little bit of the insecurity started to pop out. Cause I was like over analyzing things like, okay, why didn't the coach come over and talk to me? Should I have talked to them? And so as much as there was like a lot of like blind confidence, there was like, okay, am I doing this right? This is my one chance. And I think it was a week and then after I remember.

going up to the coaches and being like, okay, I'm not gonna wait for them. I'm just gonna go up to them and be like, when can I come to your office this week to talk? Because I felt like if I was passive about it, I might not have that opportunity. Like I don't even know where their offices are. So it was like, it's now or never, like I gotta go talk to them.

Bryce Smith (24:49.002)
I really liked that you took the initiative there because I mean, looking at division one sports, it's really easy to not actually get a fair shot. you want to try out? Cool. Yeah, just show up. And like, they're not really watching. They're kind of throwing you off to the side. You're not really getting gear. You're just kind of like somebody that's full of piss and vinegar and like enthusiasm in the beginning of the year before they just like trim the fat and iron out the wrinkles of the roster.

Molly (25:04.11)
Yeah.

Molly (25:14.83)
Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Bryce Smith (25:18.346)
But it is cool that like not only did you just keep showing up, but like you kept inserting yourself in the mix. And then when you felt like they weren't, you know, giving the attention maybe that you deserved, or it wasn't appropriate conversation or communication, you're like, well, I'm not going to wait. And I'm going to walk right up to you and we're going to have that conversation. I truly believe, I say this often, that the most successful people are comfortable having uncomfortable conversations. And I think you

Molly (25:25.294)
Yes.

Molly (25:34.51)
Please.

Molly (25:45.006)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (25:47.754)
having that skill set at an early age combined with this tremendous focus plus the competitive edge to have the underdog mentality to really believe in yourself helps myself and our audience really understand your mind and why you are the way you are. Maybe those pillars can be a subtle takeaway that people can integrate into their own lifestyles now.

Molly (26:11.886)
Yeah, yeah, that's, it's a hard thing to, you know, shift your brain to do if you're not used to it or if, you know, maybe you've had like a couple months of a little bit of insecurities. It is hard. I mean, I still have moments of weakness where I'm like, like am I supposed to be here? Like, is this worth it? And then I like snap back. Like I always give myself like a little bit of time to be a little dramatic and a little emotional. And then I always find myself going back to like, no, like I'm going to keep going.

So, thankfully.

Bryce Smith (26:43.69)
That's cool. Do you have any strategies or tactics or methods that you use to get yourself back on track? Is there a meditative practice? Is it talking with your husband? Is it journaling? Is it music? What's kind of your process to get back on the right track when you've subtly fallen off a little bit?

Molly (27:03.246)
I think it changes depending. I think a lot of it is like having quiet space, quiet time with myself to really figure out what I'm wanting and what is maybe not working and addressing like the deeper core issue. And typically most of the time it's like a lot of like childhood insecurities and that's kind of like.

where it comes from and addressing maybe the past and bringing up old memories. And I also go to therapy, so that helps a lot. And I think addressing that stuff and pulling it out and being like, okay, this is actually why you're wanting to walk away from the sport. This is actually why it's not that you want to. It's old insecurity that's popping up and having quiet time meditating. And I like to do yoga and all that good stuff, so.

I think that is probably what works best for me.

Bryce Smith (28:03.37)
I like that. I'm excited to hear now how you got to California. Like getting out to California, we talked about it briefly offline. That's not an easy move. And you were not only focused on training and school, but then there's the whole, I need to make a living thing going on. And you seemingly had six jobs and you were jumping from job to job to job.

Molly (28:08.974)
I'm sorry.

Bryce Smith (28:31.177)
Never regretting your move, just finding a way to make it happen. Managing yourself in the in -between, do maybe shift uniform or get a quick shower or a quick bite of food here. How on earth did you do that, Molly? Six jobs, that's a lot. Seven if you include volleyball.

Molly (28:42.862)
you

Molly (28:46.766)
I honestly look -

I look back at it and I'm like, I was crazy. I probably still am, but I'm just like not wanting to admit it. But back then I have memories of, yeah, going from one job to another, like having a 10 minute shower and like streets parking in Los Angeles is like a nightmare. And I remember like illegally parking my car with hazards just so I could like run upstairs shower and just be able to go get my car really fast because I really had no time. But I remember.

it not even being a thought, like this is what I have to do. And I remember not wanting to like burden my parents that much and thinking, you know, if, if they see me work this hard, like they're going to be okay with what I'm doing and maybe I'm suffering right now, but I won't be suffering for much longer. And that was kind of the concept. I didn't really like any of the jobs I had, but I was like, okay, you know, I met a lot of really cool people through it and had a lot of lessons through it. So.

Right now I look back on it, I'm like, it's cool that I did that, but in the moment I was like, that was a lot.

Bryce Smith (29:53.706)
Totally. And also you don't know what you don't know at that time, but if I read this correctly, you were the front desk girl at a local gym, the Bay Club. You were a hostess. You were a coach. You worked at a smoothie place. And then you worked for a local granola company, all while still trying to train. And was that also during college? So you're going to school too?

Molly (29:57.006)
Thank you.

Molly (30:05.038)
Mm -hmm.

Molly (30:15.63)
No, luckily, no. That was like post -grad. I'm like fresh from college and being like, okay, I can't really do my major right now. And yeah, I was just finding jobs. I felt like a lot of my friends that were from California that were still like juniors or sophomores at the college I just went to, they were like, hey, my mom like needs help doing this. My mom knows this person, text them. And that's how I got a lot of the jobs was like,

Bryce Smith (30:17.354)
Okay. Okay.

Molly (30:45.358)
connections, mutual friends, and if I didn't, I don't know how I would have gotten those jobs, because I had no experience doing any of that stuff, and I feel like it had a lot to do with the connections I had that made those possible, so it was great.

Bryce Smith (31:00.298)
I mean, that's so perfect in so many ways because if you don't ask the answer is always no. So you're asking, showing that like, you're not just trying to get, you're not just asking for like a donation, you're willing to work. And I think that the work ethic combined with asking for help is such a unique strategy that you used or use currently in your competitive career. And now we're seeing how it affected like your...

tangible working career that helps support your competitive career early on. That's what a lot of people don't realize is like the life of a professional athlete, unless you're signing a max deal in the MLB, the NBA or the NFL or something like that, the life of a professional athlete, especially starting off is really tough.

Molly (31:30.702)
Hmm.

Molly (31:49.102)
Yeah, yeah. I think there was like a few moments when I was like the hostess or like the front desk girl. And I remember feeling like no one really believed that I was able to get to where I wanted to go. I remember them being like, why did you move out here? Like, what do you do outside of this? And I would always be like, you know, I play beach volleyball, you know, I'm an aspiring pro. Like that's what I want to do. And then being like, okay, okay, we'll see you tomorrow. And I'm like,

Bryce Smith (31:51.178)
like.

Molly (32:18.734)
Like the goal was always to leave the job, because I was like, if I leave this job, that means I'm going somewhere. I don't have time for this job. And I think a lot of the people that I came across were like, okay, we'll see. And I'm like, God, I wish you guys just saw me and knew who I was outside of here. But it was, yeah, it was just like a little bit of insecurities popping up. Like I'm in a new place. I don't really know what I'm doing. This is really scary. I don't really have a lot of money right now. So yeah, I think it was always really.

unsettling.

Bryce Smith (32:49.77)
It just shows how much belief you had though. And something that I think is so, it's captivating to the eyes and the ears of so many or will be upon listening to this because you have to have that belief in yourself. And it is exactly what you said where you're working the front desk and you get into a conversation maybe with a regular member of the gym. And you do mention the big hairy audacious goal.

Molly (32:53.038)
Thank you.

Bryce Smith (33:18.538)
that you are an aspiring pro beach volleyball player. And the eye roll, the energy exchange is like, yeah, whatever. How many times have we heard that in LA? How many times are people just aspiring actors or actresses here or models or whatever the thing is? But you weren't just talking about it. You were doing it. And I think I think that is a key crucial difference there where it's not just the dopamine hit of I said this out loud so it feels real.

Molly (33:29.33)
Yeah.

Molly (33:36.782)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (33:47.978)
You were behind the scenes doing the thing. And then as a byproduct of doing so much work in the dark, you eventually were going to shine in the light. And if people didn't believe that it was going to happen, I guarantee you what it inserted yourself somewhere in the pro beach volleyball tour, which is really cool. Another note that I want to throw out, and I've felt this tremendously in entrepreneurship and I hope I don't bastardize this, but it's, it's coming up and I think you'll be able to relate.

Molly (34:03.662)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (34:14.666)
In the pursuit of high level success, you have to go through the lonely chapter where you don't really relate with the old friends anymore because maybe they're students and they're focused on going to school and their majors. Maybe there's some party lifestyle. Sounds like you had no time for a party lifestyle. And also like you were so focused on the goal that you had to work all these different jobs and maybe other people had some family money or maybe they had one job that paid them well.

you're doing the dance. And so to me, that is the graduation of who you were. And then that's the in -between. That's the lonely chapter of feeling misunderstood. You're by yourself. It's management of your emotions, your thoughts, maybe a few really long, tearful conversations with your parents and your close circle. And that goes on for a long time. It's like being in a cocoon.

Wondering am I going to become the butterfly or am I going to become a moth and you're not really sure or is there even another side is it is this where the dream ends and You just kept fortifying and sharpening your sword your resilience your adversity To eventually get to the other side and now that you are a butterfly

Molly (35:15.598)
Mm -hmm.

Molly (35:21.87)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (35:33.898)
you're starting to fly and people are starting to take notice and you're hopping on podcast tours and you're working your ass off to try to become an Olympian. Narrating it in that way, would you agree that like the lonely chapter fucking sucks, but you gotta go through it in order to prove to yourself and develop this level of confidence that you are who you say you are and you're gonna do what you're in pursuit of doing.

Molly (35:48.334)
Yeah. Yeah.

Molly (36:01.07)
Yeah, yeah, there was a lot of times like when I'm a very white or black person, like I'm not a very gray person. Like I'm very like 100 % or zero. Like, and for volleyball, it was 100 % all the time. And it was really even hard for me to go home for holidays and relax. I was always like, I have to go to the gym. Like I need to go work out. I need to get reps. And my parents were like...

you're insane, but like we love you so okay. My sisters would always be like, are you gonna go to the gym today? I'm like, yes. And I remember feeling like I had to eat certain ways and like my family was so supportive and super great about it. But I looked back and I was like, man, I was crazy. Like I did everything, everything I could do so that I could get to a point where I was actually succeeding. Cause I was, I felt so behind.

coming from Illinois and some girls started beach volleyball at the age of like eight and I was starting beach volleyball at the age of like 17. So I was like, I have so much catching up to do. Like I need to be perfect with all of my decisions. And looking back, I think it was so cool that I did that. I don't know if I needed to be that strict, but I remember just, yeah, being very strict and I'm very proud of that person and what she wanted. Like she went and got it. And it's really cool to think about.

Bryce Smith (37:22.41)
Also, if you didn't become that person at that time, maybe you would have wondered what if. Right? So it's almost like you have to have the courage to go too far to then realize like, okay, now I'm understanding, you know, the boundaries or the barriers that, you know, lead to the success. That's really special. What do you think about the space of I'm running from the concept of not feeling good enough?

Molly (37:28.782)
Yeah.

Molly (37:35.886)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (37:52.394)
Right? That's you in pursuit of your goal and in the middle is you. Towards, I'm trying to become the best AVP beach volleyball player and eventually an Olympian. In that space is you. And it's a very motivating space that it is difficult to relax. There needs to be a harmonization of all the things in your life, your relationship, your food, your sleep, your mindset.

your joy, your fun, your ability to turn on, turn off. But it is very important that you are running from something and towards somebody else. And I'd make the same argument for like training partners. If you're the best person on the court, you might settle and backtrack towards somebody that's not as good. And vice versa, if you're always the person that's not good enough, then it's like, you might be bringing that person down. So there needs to be this toggling of push -pull.

What do you think about hanging out in that space? Because it sounds like that's where you are a lot of the time.

Molly (38:52.206)
Yeah, it's not like my favorite place to be, but I do think it's valuable. I've wanted for so long to be like the staple, the name, the person that people think about when they think about beach volleyball. Although the sport is a little on the small side, except the Olympians, of course. But I think that I've always just wanted to be like, I want to get there and I want to be there. And I think because I haven't

in my mind gotten there yet, I'm always, yeah, I'm always like feeling like I am having to push and be like better than I have been. So I feel like most of the time I am the person like on the court, like, my God, I have to be, I have to like rise up to the occasion. I rarely go to a practice and am able to like breathe and like be lazy. Cause I always am like, okay, I have to, you know, raise up my talent, like what I brought today and like match other girls.

always, no matter who's on the other side, I think that's always how my mind works. And like, even the night before, I'm like, am I feeling correctly? Am I going to bed on time? And I never look at the training the next day and think, I can kind of take it easy or like I can be a little lazy. I'm pricing against this girl, which I'm glad that I haven't really been like fallen into that. I think that's like a scary place to be. And I don't want to fall into that. But, but yeah, I would say I agree with you. I am.

kind of sitting in the middle most of the time.

Bryce Smith (40:22.762)
I mean, most people are. I mean, I've even heard Shaq talk about that before where it's like running from something and towards something else is a sweet spot because you're always in pursuit. You're always seeking edges. You're never stagnant. And he always describes stagnation as the enemy. And there's a time and a place for it. And obviously, that's a little bit of a broadened blanket statement. But if you generalize the concept and apply it to training to

trying to control the majority of the variables that are gonna enhance your performance, then it can be a great tool. Who are some of the beach volleyball players that you looked up to at a young age?

Molly (41:04.046)
Of course, Misty May, when I was younger, I remember watching her and feeling like I look like her. I'm like around the same height. You know, we have the same build. And that was really special to me. I think, you know, as a young athlete, it's you compare your body to a lot of the athletes and you're like, can do I look like this person? And if so, OK, I can achieve this. And if not, it's like, OK, has my body type ever been able to do this?

And it's sad that that's kind of where a lot of females sit. But luckily, I was able to look at Misty May and be like, okay, I look like her, we have the same color hair, and we're the same height, and look at her, she's a three time gold medalist at the Olympics. And that was the main one. But today, I look up to all of the girls that are like staple defenders, and I'm just like, man, I -

even when I'm competing against them, I'm like, I love you. You are so great. I look up to a lot of the things you do. And I think that's important because it's really easy to fall into jealousy and envy and like, my God, I hate you because you're better than me. Or like, my God, you're succeeding and we're at the same level. But I always look up to the other girls and I'm like, okay, that's the next thing I need to put in my toolbox that she does. Or, wow.

that's incredible what she just did. I need to think about that at practice the next day. And that's kind of how my mindset is.

Bryce Smith (42:36.106)
That's cool. It's almost like with your sisters. You're not necessarily always trying to beat them. You're trying to relate and you're kind of taking what you need and leaving the rest.

Molly (42:45.037)
Yeah, yeah, I never thought of that, which is funny because I feel like my sisters and I do have like some competitive like energy between us. But yeah, it's interesting that you brought that up. So I'm like, man, maybe I wasn't that competitive with them. Maybe I just love them.

Bryce Smith (43:00.522)
That's funny. You briefly did it a moment ago in relation to Misty May, but how would you describe your game, your volleyball game and the things that you're probably top 10 in the world at?

Molly (43:16.078)
Hmm. I'm undersized. I'll say that, I'll preface that because you can't see my heart right now, but I am undersized. And with that, I need to be really creative. I need to confuse the other team. The game is a chess match and I can't do a lot of things that the bigger girls can and that's fine, but I need to figure out how to outsmart the other team. And with that, I think that that's my

best trait is being creative, having the ball control to do that stuff. And by being creative, I mean running a fake play where I, you know, go one way and come out the other and the other team's like, wait, I did not expect that. Or, you know, going over on two instead of three, it's kind of just like making the other team be like, what is Molly doing at all times? So they're not, you know, able to breathe and like set up the next play and be like, okay, she's going to go line. It's like, okay,

Is she going back? Like what's happening? And that's like what I pride myself on is like mixing things up because I have to.

Bryce Smith (44:22.314)
Mm -hmm. No, I definitely liked that answer. And obviously being a great digger, like when in that back row, trying your best to, you know, anticipate where the ball is going to go. And the creativity that you just described is is very cool because it's like it's like a no look pass in basketball. Shoulders face one way, hit the ball the other way. Maybe your eyes and your body language are showing one thing. And like you said, hitting it over on two instead of three.

Molly (44:41.55)
Yeah.

Molly (44:50.382)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (44:50.57)
The creativity of the sport is really cool and also makes it where you take a seeming weakness on a scouting report and turn it into a strength because you can't put on a scouting report like your desire or your willingness to want to win. You know what I mean? Like sometimes I feel like scouts in all sports are like undersized. Maybe this category, they're not that good. Maybe they're like a three out of 10 here.

Molly (45:01.102)
Mm -hmm.

Bryce Smith (45:20.074)
And it's like time and time again, how often has that been proven wrong? I mean, you look at Tom Brady's old scouting report and now he's quite frankly the best quarterback to ever play. You look at Steph Curry's scouting report and I don't know, some of the best to ever do it didn't fit into the traditional mold that they say, you know, this is the prototypical, in this case, volleyball player.

Molly (45:24.142)
Yes.

Molly (45:42.67)
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think again, like that does give you a chip on your shoulder. And yeah, the Scatter Report concept of not being able to put down like your desire, passion or like drive is like, that is cool to think about too. And that's something that some people just don't have also.

Bryce Smith (46:02.762)
Yeah, no, totally. What was it like your very first AVP match? Can you remember back to that moment and like, were you able to like pause and take it in or were you full of like anxiety and performance, just focus?

Molly (46:19.633)
So to get to my first AVP match I had to what they call qualify. So I went through the day before the actual pro tournament you play in three matches and it's single elimination so if you lose the first game you're out. So we had to play three games and win all three to break in and I remember I was playing with my best friend ironically and we

upset every single team on the way in and the last game I remember just like falling to the ground and being like, my god, we just did this and then the next day we had like the one seed or something and I was like, god, and I remember walking onto the court feeling like, okay, I don't really feel like we should be here. This is fun though. And I remember getting on the court and playing and being like, my god, like this is working. Like I don't need to do anything crazy right now. Like I'm scoring points just

playing how I play, I just always thought I had to like pull out something special and you know, do something crazy to these pro players. And I realized at that point that you know, I was prepared. I always like had that in me. It was just like mentally, can I handle the, my gosh, the girl on the other side of the court is someone I've watched film on not to like play against, but to be like, my God, I love watching her play. So it was like kind of, it was kind of trippy. It was like.

so grateful and full of gratitude and then also scared out of my mind because I'm like, my God, I envy this person. So it was a weird mix of emotions. But all in all, the gratitude was just very high. Yeah.

Bryce Smith (47:59.626)
Wow.

Bryce Smith (48:03.818)
That's so cool. What was 2018 like for you? You've mentioned that that was one of your best years, not the best, but one of your best years on the tour. And that seemingly feels like a blink of an eye ago. But here we are in 2024. What was it like in 2018 where you kind of solidified yourself as a pro player?

Molly (48:17.774)
Yeah.

Molly (48:26.03)
that was a fun year, I think for me, because it was like first year to college. you know, I'm like working six jobs. I'm like, okay, it's do or die kind of thing. And I remember, you know, qualifying the first time and being like, my God, I did it again. And you have to qualify a bunch of times and like win games in the pro tournament to like stay there. And I remember the girl that I was playing with, we did it over and over and over again. And I remember just being like,

Okay, this is a sign, like I meant to do this. Like I have worked to be here. This is, you know, this is my place. This is where I can remain. And I think that's what that you're meant to me. It was like the upsets, the underdog mentality was like at an all time high. And I was like the new kid on the block as was a lot of other college players too. But I remember inside of myself being like, okay, underdog, let's go. Come on. Like every girl I play, it would be an upset.

And so I think that is what made it so much fun for me that year.

Bryce Smith (49:30.186)
That's so cool. So at that time you solidified yourself as a pro. What changed? Was there a change in your training? Was it more time on the court, more time in the weight room, more rotational things? What changed as far as training, development, and mindset once you solidified yourself as a pro?

Molly (49:52.142)
I think I got more respect from others. I think that I had a lot more people figuring out what my name was and like understanding, you know, the story behind it, where I came from, what my personality was. I was like, people described me and they told me this and at the time I didn't take it as a compliment, but I think it's funny. They would describe me as like a bulldog, like on the court, like she's everywhere. She's like this big like.

I want to say like angry because I was like a very aggressive person like I said earlier and I remember people thinking like, my God, like she's everywhere. She's like bulldozing into things like she's going to go for everything. And when someone said that I was like, okay, that is the worst compliment ever. But like thinking about it now I'm like that perfectly described me at the time. So definitely the respect is different. I was

Bryce Smith (50:39.69)
Mm -hmm.

Molly (50:45.742)
always kind of lifting a lot, training a lot. I was like kind of finding my footing with like a trainer, a routine, but I think what changed the most was my mental game. Like I believing that I could be there got me probably like five more points a game. And, you know, like thinking, you know, if I mess up a play like.

being able to bounce back faster instead of being like, my God, that was the worst thing ever. I'm so embarrassed. But now it's like, no, I'm okay. This has happened before. We're good. So I think it was like the mental game that really propelled me forward.

Bryce Smith (51:23.818)
It sounds like you also not just attained success from others, but also, or sorry, not just attained respect from others, but also began really respecting yourself and your game and realizing that it wasn't an accident anymore and that you deserved to be there.

Molly (51:34.35)
Yeah.

Molly (51:39.47)
Yeah, yeah, I definitely had to convince myself too. I mean, when you're working that many jobs and if you start to not succeed, it's like, what am I doing? my God, I'm like suffering for what? And I bet like, obviously it didn't happen as much because I was like very thankfully successful that first year. So it was like huge for me mentally to be like, okay, this is all worth it.

Bryce Smith (52:08.17)
I want to peel back the layers of the onion a little bit at that time. What does a day in the life look like? What time you waking up? What does breakfast look like? When are you on the court? When you in the weight room? How did you make all the jobs fit? Did you ever sleep? I'm trying to like insert myself into your life there.

Molly (52:24.174)
I don't understand. So job -wise, every single day was a different job. I probably worked three jobs in one day though, so it would shuffle around like that. But okay, a typical day, I would pretty much always get up at six. I would get up, have oatmeal or some sort of like a carb for breakfast. I definitely was dabbling with dieting and stuff at the time, which...

That's like something else, but at the time I was dabbling with all that stuff, after I would have breakfast, I would drive straight to my trainer. I would work out for an hour with them, stretch, and then go straight to practice. Like the morning time was my training time. And so from lifting for an hour, I would go straight to practice. It would be like two and a half hours, I would say, in the sand, maybe three, if I'm feeling it. And then right from there, I remember

like running off of the sand, running to my car to drive back to my house, get home, put something in a bowl, microwave it, probably leftover, and then go to my friend's desk job. I would work there for like three and a half, four hours. Then I would go to the beach from there with my other bag and I would coach. And then from there I would go home, drop all my stuff, quick shower, and then go to the restaurant.

So that would be like one of the days, but I remember getting off from the hostess job at like 10 p And being like, oof, I'm tired. And then like, okay, let's go do it again tomorrow. Yeah.

Bryce Smith (54:02.282)
Wow. Were there ever mornings where it kind of hits you like, man, you weren't just looking at the singular task of like, I need to eat and then get to the gym to train. Were you ever thinking like, I have to do this, I have to do this, I have to do this, I have to do this and almost like feeling overwhelmed by all the things that you were going to have that day. Fear of being late to them, the LA traffic, the parking situation, miscellaneous things that might be out of your control, maybe like a flat tire.

or an injury or maybe not having access to food or appropriate hydration.

Molly (54:37.998)
Yeah, I mean, for sure. I'm a very like check the box girl. And when I have all of the boxes unchecked, I'm like, sometimes, and I hate to admit this, sometimes it felt like my day was just like checking a box, like, okay, practice just ended perfect, I can check it off. And, you know, some of the days it felt like I wasn't really present in the stuff that I wanted to be. Like it felt like I was giving more energy to the work portion of the day rather than, you know, the volleyball portion. And I think,

You know, my life started to shift at one point. The gym that I was working at gave me a full -time job. And so I was able to quit all the other jobs, but that wasn't like the ideal situation because it was a desk job. And at the time it fit, but then as like time went on, I was like, you know, what am I here for? Is it this job or is it volleyball? Yes, the job is funding volleyball, but is it taking away from who I am on the court? Because there was a lot of days I'm like rushing off the court.

when I would like to debrief with my team. And so I think that's like as I was growing and aging, I feel like I was able to put my foot down and be like, no, I'm quitting this job. Like you are not giving me what I need to pursue the dream. Like I could do this job in Illinois. So I think that was another thing. Years down the line, I was like, I'm quitting. This is not for me anymore. My sport is progressing more than I thought. I need to move on with my life.

and focus more on that because I stopped. And that was like really, really big for my career. I think after that happened, I like shot straight up and was like finally actually present at training every day.

Bryce Smith (56:18.122)
I think it's really cool to hear. How long did you work that job?

Molly (56:22.51)
The full -time job, I worked there for like two and a half years. It was like over COVID and then I quit in 2021, like early 2021, yeah.

Bryce Smith (56:29.098)
Okay. That's something that I think is also really important, right? Like on a podcast, it sounds like a snippet, but like two and a half years is a long time. Like it's not like you just like got the full -time job and you're like, no jumping into being a full -time pro. Like I think it's important for people to understand like, yes, as I mentioned, it's a long time, but also it's a process of like, okay, I'm developing still as an athlete. I'm figuring out the niche.

of being a pro, I'm figuring out how to monetize being a pro, I'm figuring out how to integrate maybe being an influencer in addition to being a pro and navigating all of those things that are seemingly not just complex, but there's a lot of uncertainty that comes with those things versus the security of having the job. But then also recognizing what does Molly want? And then let's find the steps.

Molly (57:14.318)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (57:28.266)
to assign a roadmap to get to where you want? Because it's very easy to be like, you know what, nobody gets it, I have to make a living, I have this idea of a lifestyle that I wanna have and volleyball is a part of that, but it can't be everything. Because at the end of the day, you're still a human too. And how did you get so clear on what you wanted at a young age where, you know, you could have been distracted by wanting more money or a certain lifestyle that, you know, maybe isn't the lifestyle that you have now?

Molly (57:57.646)
Yeah, I think it was like, I'm sitting at the desk and specifically in this moment, I was sitting at the desk and there was no windows. I was like in a dark room and I remember like walking out to go to the bathroom and the sun was shining and I was just like, my God, I'm so unhappy. And I don't know. I think all of the chances I've taken in my life prior to that moment have all worked out. They've been really scary and like,

very, like you said, very uncertain. I had no idea what was gonna happen, but every chance I took worked out. And so I was like, this is another one of those things. If I walk away from the money, the security, something will come of this. I am certain of it. And so I was like, okay, I'm gonna take the leap of faith and I'm gonna quit this job and I'm gonna put the feelers and the vibes out there that another job will come, but it will be better for what I need and where I'm at. And that's exactly what happened.

And I think like my husband James always is like, you know, like your gut feelings tend to be right and he doesn't like to admit that, but they are these like gut feelings that I have. I'm like, okay, if I quit this job, I know something will come of it. And he's like, okay. And I do it and it happens. And I'm like, okay, so I should always do this. Like every time I have that gut feeling, I should just listen to it.

Bryce Smith (59:16.586)
That's cool. I always talk about like listening to your heart's whisper and there's usually like a volume to it. It sounds like that volume was maybe a little bit lower dim at the onset of the full time job that you were working. And then all of a sudden by the end, you just had this epiphany of like, I love nature. I love sunshine. I'm not happy. And more often people use their happiness in pursuit of success and they also use their health in pursuit of success. And then later on,

Molly (59:39.854)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (59:44.49)
use their version of success or the monetization to regain their health and happiness. And so if you pursue the happiness and the health early on or find ways to combine that with your version of success, then seemingly you're going to have a little bit more of a beautiful life.

Molly (59:49.614)
Mm -hmm.

Molly (01:00:00.846)
Yeah, agreed. Could not agree more.

Bryce Smith (01:00:03.978)
That's cool. How did you meet your husband, James?

Molly (01:00:06.894)
So he played indoor volleyball for USA, but at the time he was playing in Italy for the Italian league. And he had added me on Instagram and I didn't notice. And I guess he liked a bunch of my photos and I didn't notice. And then I was on a couple dating apps and he messaged me and was like,

my God, like, I don't know if you knew this, but I added you on Instagram and I was like, my God, I'm so sorry. Cause when I saw his profile, I was like, my God, this guy is so dreamy and like lovely. And I was like, I can't believe I didn't notice that. And then, you know, I found out he was in Italy. I was like, why are, why is your location in the South Bay? And he said that he was moving back. It was during COVID. And I was like, okay, well, when you move back, you can message me cause I don't do long distance. And he was like,

God, I have to get back to the States then. And he flew back like a week later and messaged me. He was like, Hey, I'm going to be in the States. Like I'm going to move down to Southern California. And I was like, okay, we'll see. And then he actually ended up doing it. And so we've honestly, honestly have been like unable to separate ever since. Like we've become the greatest of friends. And then from there, everything just like took off. He's the greatest. Yeah.

Bryce Smith (01:01:24.458)
That's very cool. What's it like having another pro in the household? Like, do you guys have similar systems? Do you guys butt heads as far as like processes and procedures?

Molly (01:01:29.326)
It's...

it's, you know, it is a, there's a lot of moving parts and it's been a lot of fun because when he played indoor, I didn't see him as much and I see him so much more now and I love being around him. but it's, you know, we're, I'm very competitive and he's like, he's going to achieve all things. That guy is incredible and he has everything it takes. So for me, who's like gone through a lot of adversity, I'm like, I'm kind of jealous of you.

And he's just super successful. But in terms of at home life, we're both very on the same wavelength. We both go to bed at the same time, wake up at the same time. We eat dinner together every night. We're both like very into making sure like we're giving ourselves what our body wants and needs and also treating ourselves like we're very much on the same wavelength. And I'm very thankful because I know couples that don't go to bed at the same time. And I'm like, my God, that would be awful.

I would hear James getting into bed and that would wake me up and I'd be like, are you kidding me? Like, so yeah, we are definitely on the same wavelength.

Bryce Smith (01:02:37.93)
Mm.

People forget that in dating culture that it's not just about like physical, mental, emotional attraction. Like there is also the lifestyle frequency and the attunement of values and ideologies and timing of things and being able to compromise and sacrifice and be willing to have the hard conversations and also willing to let things breathe and give them time and space sometimes.

Molly (01:02:51.822)
Yes.

Bryce Smith (01:03:09.066)
And it's cool that you mentioned, you know, the sleep schedule because that's a, that's a big one for some people case, depending on if that's a high value for, for people's lives. And it should be for a pro athlete.

Molly (01:03:09.134)
Yeah.

Molly (01:03:18.766)
Yeah, yeah. And, you know, James has had his fair share of injuries. And I think that that's something that luckily we agree on is like, that amount of sleep that we get. And I think that has been really helpful for him to like, maintain. And, you know, obviously, like the way we eat and listen to our bodies, I think that's like very helpful to avoid injury, avoid, you know, anything bad. And so

you know, when I'm not home or if I'm traveling without him, his sleep schedule is like a little wonky. But when I come home, I'm like, I'm going to bed at 9 .30. Join me if you want. I think you should. He's like, okay. Yeah.

Bryce Smith (01:03:54.826)
Mm -hmm. That's awesome. I had a client asked me the other day like how much sleep is the appropriate amount of sleep and for whatever reason I said I want you to sleep so much so as to not get divorced or fired. I just think that sleep is such a miracle drug for people and being and being able to like carve out an appropriate dosage like it's difficult.

Molly (01:04:09.966)
Hahaha!

It is, yeah.

Bryce Smith (01:04:22.058)
especially given all the distractions of the world. Like you have to train yourself to do that and optimize your circadian rhythm and like make it a guided habit that later becomes, as we described with your development, unconscious competence.

Molly (01:04:35.598)
Mm -hmm. Yeah, I think that has been probably one of the biggest things for me is like sleep time and my friends make fun of me for how early I go to bed, but I'm like, it's working, it's helping, I need this, my body needs to recover. Like this is what I like to do.

Bryce Smith (01:04:49.642)
Totally. It also probably stabilizes your mood and your ability to get all the shit done that you get done in a day. Talking about injuries, what injuries have you crossed paths with and what role has like health and wellness kind of played in your development as an athlete?

Molly (01:04:56.334)
Yeah.

Molly (01:05:07.566)
Luckily, and knock on wood, I just knocked on wood before even starting, I haven't had big injuries. I would say, if you call this an injury, because I haven't actually had like a physical one, I've gone through an eating disorder and I'm like in like therapy and I work with a dietician because of it. And that has been a huge piece of who I am and like who I've become because I've.

put myself through the wringer with dieting and all that stuff. And luckily none of that created any injuries, but it could have. But it was in my mind a little bit of an injury, because it was holding me back a little bit here and there. And so that was probably the biggest thing I've been dealing with, not secretly, but a little bit hush -hush, where other people with their injuries, they're rehabbing secretly, their shoulder hurts, they don't want to tell people.

pretty much what I've had to go through.

Bryce Smith (01:06:05.578)
I appreciate you sharing. Where did that kind of stem from since you've done a good amount of therapy on it, you've explored it, you've gotten to know yourself and maybe the why, the how, the what? Where did it stem from and what's the best advice that you would maybe give to other people going through something similar?

Molly (01:06:17.998)
Yeah.

Molly (01:06:25.422)
I think it stemmed from when I was in high school. I took a lot of advice from coaches a little bit too literally. Again, I'm a very black and white person. And so someone said, like, you know, eating this way will get you to the highest level. I was like, yes, sir. I will do that. I will stop eating bread. I will stop eating pasta, whatever you say. I will do it because I want to be the best. And I think that's where it started and it progressed in a negative way in college beyond.

means and I think for anyone experiencing it, my biggest advice is to always like go and talk to a professional. I luckily was able to do that myself. No one forced me to do it. I was just like in a head space where I was like, I can't deal with this anymore. But I would say like speak with someone about it. That's not your family or friends. And then my other, yes, super necessary. And my other advice is

Bryce Smith (01:07:17.802)
Yeah, third party perspective could probably be very helpful.

Molly (01:07:25.454)
that your body is the least interesting thing about you. And that has been a lot, like a very big statement for me to like actually believe, because it is hard even like male, female, that's really hard to believe sometimes.

Bryce Smith (01:07:43.21)
What do you mean when you say that?

Molly (01:07:45.294)
I think when I was going through all of this, I'm like, you know, if I am smaller, if I'm skinnier, I'll be better. I'll be more attractive. People will like me more. They'll notice me more. And like, I'll be more interesting. Like people will want me more. And so when I say your body is the least interesting thing about you, it's like letting go of this narrative that I need to look different to be accepted, to succeed, to blah, blah. Because I feel like, you know,

in this generation, I think we are, you know, weighing really heavy on like being the smallest maybe version of yourself. Like that's when I'll finally be happy. That's when I'll finally be liked or that's when I'll finally succeed in whatever it might be.

Bryce Smith (01:08:31.594)
I like the way you described that the concept of I'll be happy when is usually a fleeting concept that you never really get a grasp of because once that problem solved a new problem usually takes its place. And so I think it's typically like you talked about in your journey. It's the confidence knowing that when problems arise that you're going to be able to get through them and solve them and learn from them.

Molly (01:08:36.686)
Mm -hmm.

Molly (01:08:45.07)
Yeah.

Bryce Smith (01:08:59.498)
and acquire the tools necessary to manage them. And is that something that you would agree with management, especially with something like an eating disorder? Because that can knock on your door at any time, especially in a social media culture, especially in the uniform of a beach volleyball player being in a bikini. I'm sure there's lots of different triggers that land on your lap on occasion. How do you manage some of those triggers? Is it?

through therapy, is it conversations with your husband? Is it just repeating that mantra that your body is the least interesting thing about you?

Molly (01:09:36.142)
I think it's all of those things. You know, I've worked really hard to like, I think addressing what is happening instead of like pushing it out and kind of putting a name to it. And what I've done is kind of, I've make it my like eating disorder voice where it's like, okay, if I'm like, my God, I look fat or like, my God, I feel fat. I'm like, okay, that's not me. That's something else.

That's like, it's there. I feel that, but that's not me. What's really happening is this. Like, this is what I actually need. And like you said, it is management. It does pop up. I'm definitely on like the end of it. So I've been able to manage it, but there's like still, yeah, thoughts that come through your mind. And I just kind of let them pass through because they do come and I'm like, okay, there it is. Goodbye. But I think trying to like push it down all the time. You don't like actually address it or.

Bryce Smith (01:10:25.482)
No, totally.

Molly (01:10:30.894)
Yeah, at one point let it go. You're just like, okay, it's there, but like pushing, pushing it's gonna like pop up at one point again.

Bryce Smith (01:10:38.282)
No, I think that's a really healthy way to describe it. And also, there's probably lots of other factors that can create buy -in with an appropriate eating style. And that could be, how is your sleep? How are your hormones? How is your mood? How are your inflammatory markers? Can you play with blood work, maybe quarterly or a couple times a year? What is your performance like on

Molly (01:11:02.254)
Bye.

Bryce Smith (01:11:04.778)
on the court? What's your communication strategy? Is your brain fog? You know, are you enjoying your food and using food as the different things that I've seen you post on one of your pages, which is like food is many things. It's not just fuel. Sometimes it can be indulging. Sometimes it can be celebratory. Sometimes it's, you know, hydrating or experimenting among other things. And so food is flexible. It's variable. And I love that you've

Molly (01:11:19.246)
.

Molly (01:11:27.822)
and

Bryce Smith (01:11:34.474)
really worked hard to overcome that challenge in your life and manage it. But also what I really love, Molly, is your willingness to be vulnerable and share that with the world and grants others the permission to be more vulnerable and learn from your example and realizing that you don't have to hide that element of yourself and that it can float to the surface and it doesn't need to be weaponized against you or judged. It's actually just humanizing and it allows other people to then

connect, collaborate, learn, and explore, realizing that that's an element of your story that allows you to just be more human. And I think that's beautiful.

Molly (01:12:16.046)
Yeah, thank you for saying that. It's been interesting being so vocal about it. I feel like I've gotten a lot of females, even males come to me and they're like, thank you. This is kind of what I'm going through. And it's surprising how many people are actually going through something similar. I always was like, my God, this is just me. I'm living this like Hannah Montana lifestyle where I'm like this pro athlete, but I'm like suffering to be in my own body kind of thing.

in front of everyone in a bathing suit, but secretly I'm like hoping I can go and hide somewhere later. And so, yeah, like being able to be open with others and have them come to me and share that with me, it makes me not feel alone. And it's, you know, obviously it's making them feel the same way. So it's very beneficial on both sides.

Bryce Smith (01:13:03.434)
That's awesome. I think that's a really great place for us to wrap it up. I think it's awesome that it came full circle. I wasn't sure if we were gonna get a chance to talk about the challenges with food. And I think it's just rad that we were able to kind of go through the Mollyshaw journey from being cut from the indoor volleyball team to pro beach volleyball player and realizing that it doesn't happen overnight.

Molly (01:13:22.094)
I'm sorry.

Bryce Smith (01:13:32.17)
but it's always attainable if you put in the work and you're willing to come toe to toe or face to face with your challenges and actually manage them and deal with them and share them. Because the more you bury them, those loads get pretty heavy and the body does keep the score.

Molly (01:13:47.598)
Yeah, absolutely. Yes. Great.

Bryce Smith (01:13:51.818)
It was such a pleasure spending time with you. We'll probably air your episode in a couple weeks and I'll text with you and send over all the clips and all the things so we can have fun sharing your story. And I'm excited to talk to James in a couple weeks or so.

Molly (01:13:54.158)
Thank you.

Molly (01:14:06.734)
Yeah, he's got a cool story too. So that'll be amazing. And I'm thank you for having us on your show. And you're an incredible podcast host. My gosh, your questions are amazing.

Bryce Smith (01:14:19.53)
I appreciate you. For those of you listening or watching on YouTube, if you enjoyed my conversation with pro beach volleyball player Molly Shaw, please rate, review, subscribe, and share with your friends. And as always, stay on the hunt for who you've not yet become. Until next time.