Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl
Real Talk 💍 Bridal Era: Engagement Tales, Bridal Party Dynamics, and the Quest for the Perfect Dress with Rachel Schwab & Stephanie Cardenas
BRIDAL ERA ALERT!
I've joined forces with Rachel Schwab from Just Because It's Pretty and Stephanie Cardenas to wade through the waves of engagement bliss and the meticulous crafting of a dream wedding.
We share our own, reasons behind a long engagement isn't about rushing; it's about relishing every detail that leads to 'I do.'Choosing bridesmaids can be like navigating a minefield of emotions and obligations, but it's a journey we dissect with heartfelt candor and a sprinkle of creativity.
Dress shopping we don't hold back on the details of our own quests for the gown that whispers 'the one.' From the emotional support of a stylist to the revelation that your dream dress may have been waiting on your Pinterest board all along,
We're here to share the trials and triumphs as if you were right there with us!
Stephanie Cardenas's IG:
@stephhcardenas
Stephanie Cardenas's Tiktok:
@stephhhcardenas
Rachel Schwab aka Just Because It's Pretty's IG:
@justbecauseitspretty
Rachel Schwab aka Just Because It's Pretty TikTok:
@justbecauseitspretty
You can watch the full episodes on our Youtube
Youtube - Confessionsofawannabeitgirl
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s TikTok:
@wannabeitgirlpodcast
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s IG:
@confessionsofawannabeitgirl
BRIDAL ERA ALERT!
I've joined forces with Rachel Schwab from Just Because It's Pretty and Stephanie Cardenas to wade through the waves of engagement bliss and the meticulous crafting of a dream wedding.
We share our own, reasons behind a long engagement isn't about rushing; it's about relishing every detail that leads to 'I do.'Choosing bridesmaids can be like navigating a minefield of emotions and obligations, but it's a journey we dissect with heartfelt candor and a sprinkle of creativity.
Dress shopping we don't hold back on the details of our own quests for the gown that whispers 'the one.' From the emotional support of a stylist to the revelation that your dream dress may have been waiting on your Pinterest board all along,
We're here to share the trials and triumphs as if you were right there with us!
Stephanie Cardenas's IG:
@stephhcardenas
Stephanie Cardenas's Tiktok:
@stephhhcardenas
Rachel Schwab aka Just Because It's Pretty's IG:
@justbecauseitspretty
Rachel Schwab aka Just Because It's Pretty TikTok:
@justbecauseitspretty
You can watch the full episodes on our Youtube
Youtube - Confessionsofawannabeitgirl
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s TikTok:
@wannabeitgirlpodcast
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s IG:
@confessionsofawannabeitgirl
Welcome to Confessions of a Wannabe it Girl. I'm your host, marley Fregging, and I'm here to help you filter out all the bullshit and become the next it Girl. This podcast explores the reality of what it really takes to make it out there. As it turns out, it is way less Instagrammable than I thought it was going to be. I'm still very much a work in progress, but there's simply nothing else I'd rather be doing than chasing my dreams. So let's learn from my mistakes and work together to achieve our dreams with more confidence, clarity and direction. Let's get after it All right.
Speaker 2:Well, guys, welcome to what are we calling this? The bridal round table, the bridal era?
Speaker 3:I don't know Our wedding episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's cute, that's cute. All the things, all the things.
Speaker 2:There's just so much, too many things. Okay, so I'm joined by Rachel, or, as you might know, her just because it's pretty, and Stephanie Cardenas how are you guys? Thank you guys so much for being here. Thank you, we're excited. I am so excited to start with all things. Wedding you know, there's not as much. I mean, maybe there is. I just didn't really like the podcast resources I found regarding a wedding information, so I'm very excited to dive into it. We are all three engaged. I've known you both not being engaged, both second time. Podcast. Returning guests yes, look at us. I know I'm so excited, so let's start with when you got engaged and when is your wedding. Steph, do you want to go first? Cool Me, I'm like Rachel, okay.
Speaker 3:So when I got engaged and when is my wedding? Yes, okay, I got engaged. So, when I got engaged and when is my wedding? Yes, okay, I got engaged Me. I got engaged September 7th 2022 in Paris, france, with my fiance, obviously. Who else would it be? So, yeah, that happened about it's 2024. Like two years ago, which is, or a year and a half going to be, but, yeah, best experience ever, and then I will be getting married July 13th at 2024. So, like two and a half months.
Speaker 2:Oh fuck so like tomorrow literally tomorrow actually. I'm late to my wedding. She needs to be in hair and makeup.
Speaker 3:No, actually, yeah, so oh my gosh, it comes by so fast. And then Rachel actually yeah. So, oh, my gosh, it comes by so fast.
Speaker 2:And then, rachel, when did you get engaged?
Speaker 4:I got engaged last May in Florence, italy. Look at us abroad, girls. We were on a trip after his medical school graduation and Florence is my favorite place, so he proposed there. It was lovely. More than lovely. I wish I knew the exact date, but I don't, so we won't tell anyone. More than lovely. I wish I knew the exact date, but I don't, so we won't tell anyone. And then I'm getting married next April, so April 4th 2025. So it's a long engagement too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm going to double down on the long engagement as well. I mean, I did a whole podcast episode about it, so we're not going to go deep into my story here at all, but I got engaged July 8th 2023, and we will be getting married May 17th 2025. Yep, yes, okay, love it, love it. So we all chose long engagements. Why?
Speaker 1:did you choose?
Speaker 2:long engagement stuff.
Speaker 3:So for me one when we got engaged abroad too, it was it was just a trip we were going on and like we have been together for so long. So when it happened, it was more of like the anticipation of engagement. And when, yeah, the day came, you don't know what you're going to feel. I mean obviously excitement and stuff. But I was just so on cloud nine, like it was almost so euphoric that I was like I want to live in this bubble and it was the best. Because when I got engaged I was actually by myself and my whole life. I thought I was going to have like family there and stuff. But I was so happy in that two week bubble I didn't even post my engagement till like two weeks later. I was literally going to bring that up.
Speaker 3:I was literally. I was like happy, and so I really enjoyed that part of it and I really just wanted to be engaged. I feel like a lot of people kind of like rush into it, and I come from a family that doesn't do all this traditional wedding stuff. My fiance's family is very like. I think when we got engaged, the first thing they asked was like when's the date? And I was like he just asked me, you know, and so I wasn't even thinking about it. So I really took my time and for me it just felt better to kind of I don't know, just like, take your time with it. Yeah, milk it, like this is the only time we'll ever get to do all this fun stuff. So milk it.
Speaker 2:No, I totally agree with that. It was in the acting class Literally yeah. Be in the bridal. I was in the acting class and, like I was talking, I just met this guy new acting class and I was like no, enjoy it. He'd just been married. He was like enjoy it, it's the shortest period in your relationship. I was like that's interesting. That is so true. Unless I mean you met one month and got married a month too, then that's not true.
Speaker 4:But for everyone else that applies, then we need to be having a different conversation. Yeah, yeah, it's so different. We're all worried about different things.
Speaker 3:But like it's so funny you say long engagement because honestly, like what we're all around like a two year mark where we I feel like that's not even long I feel like that's like girl. Realistically that's how long people should take, because the process one is like a lot and you just have to be on the same page, so it's really not that long. Like I feel like long engagement is like pushing the light if you're like five years, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I feel like we're like normal and I have a friend who is still on her. She's going on her 12th year of engagement, yeah, and when I met her she was engaged and she's still engaged and I was like, oh, y'all are just vibing.
Speaker 2:You're vibing with it, Rachel. Why did you?
Speaker 4:choose the long engagement. That's a great well, it's actually pretty simple. So my brother got engaged a few weeks before me. He's 30. So he's five years older than me and he's getting married next weekend. So his date I know. So his date was already set and part of it was like we cannot be planning two weddings at once. That is, that's so much. My poor mother, she does not need to do that. And the other part of it I had a few friends who were getting married in the fall. So then when we were looking at dates I didn't want it to be too much for my friends. I was very much thinking of everyone else when picking a date. I have a friend group of 13 from college. That's a lot. To go to three weddings in three months, that's ridiculous. Then I wanted good weather. I can't speak, not like you guys.
Speaker 4:It's so great to get married here. I'm in New York everyone January February. It's a little dreary, it's not really beautiful.
Speaker 3:It's kind of the same here, though it's been worse recently. Us complaining about 60s. We're in Canadian. Same here, though it's been recently it's been worse, yeah, us complaining about.
Speaker 2:No, I know in like a what's that was canadian goose sweaters like yeah sweater, jacket what are those called?
Speaker 3:I hear you, I hear you.
Speaker 4:What's a fucking jacket canada, goose, canada there we go. So that I would say half of it was that and the other half is that I am such a meticulous planner like I wanted to be able to focus on one thing at a time and do it like really right. Like I've been dreaming about this my whole life, haven't we all? And so like, for example, bridesmaid proposal like I didn't want to have to like rush something like that. Like I want to be able to focus on that, and then the shower, and then the bachelorette, like there's so many things you have to plan. So I was like let's spread it out, I don't need to rush into any of this. We're young, we're happy, I want to be engaged for a while, like let's get married when we want to get married on our own time, type of thing, and also to give me time to plan everything very meticulously and not be stressed.
Speaker 2:I feel very similar to that, except for you're like nice and you're being conscious of all your friends, which I would like to say is my reasoning for doing it too. But honestly, I like, just don't want to share. The attention is the truth.
Speaker 3:I love that for you.
Speaker 4:I love that for you. Thank you, you shouldn't.
Speaker 2:Thank you, no, totally. So you know, speaking of bridesmaids, seeing it kind of got brought up, I feel like it's kind of people are like a little in or all out on bridesmaids these days, yeah, Like are you? Having bridesmaids. I know you're having bridesmaids and I'm really curious to dive into your Something Blue as well. Oh, we'll talk. Rachel, kick us off. Tell us about your bridesmaids.
Speaker 4:Okay, so for a second, I was not going to have bridesmaids. I have. I feel very fortunate. I have a lot of really close friends. I have college friends, home friends, camp friends. I have a lot of cousins. I sadly don't have any sisters, but I will have three soon to be sisters through marriage and my brothers.
Speaker 4:So there are so many people in my life and I was like how am I supposed to have a normal amount Like so wild to me. So then I was like no, like I want people around me wearing pink. I was like I don't want to get ready alone. That sounds sad. Like so lots of thought.
Speaker 4:I had went through different ways of how I could have different people in my life, be a part of it and not just be bridesmaids. I mean, realistically, we all know it being a bridesmaid is such a fake title. I mean it's so sweet, but like you're literally just wearing a colored dress, like there's not much more to it. Um, and you know, I was really stressed about the whole bridesmaid thing for sure, because I just couldn't choose certain people versus not. And I'm still having trouble with it, even though I asked my bridesmaids already. I totally still feel guilty that I couldn't include all of my friends bridesmaids. I think it is half of its family, um, no cousins. And so I had to think of other ways to incorporate other friends, because I was like I can't do this and a lot of them are like set numbers of people as well, and so I would never just have like one or two like right, you can tell I'm feeling really guilty. So I had some of my college friends, some home friends and abroad friends, whatever bridesmaids we can talk about the whole proposal thing later. But I did that.
Speaker 4:And then my camp friends. I grew up with them, I've known them since I was seven, eight. They're such important people to me and I wanted to honor them in a different way. So our camp colors were blue and gold and I was like like how cute would it be if I asked them to be my something blue, so they're kind of wear blue to the wedding. I did a whole little thing for them too. They're obviously coming on the bachelorette, all that fun stuff, so it's like an unofficial bridesmaid basically.
Speaker 4:Uh, and I thought it was just another fun way to kind of have them involved, have them incorporated in like a special part of the day and then I don't need to think of like I don't know I need, I don't need to wear blue shoes or something. So that's what I did for them and I also think it's a really good idea if someone doesn't want to have bridesmaids, like a fun way to incorporate your friends without being like it's so official. It's like a fun way to incorporate your friends without being like it's so official, and then I don't think I even posted about this. But I'm having my cousin. I know I'm having my cousins. There's literally so many people and I'm like I can't, I don't know what to do. So I'm having my cousins usher the ceremony, like another way to honor different people, and they're going to wear a hot pink too. So more pink. Everyone's going to be happy. So I know who would have thought sorry everyone, you have to wear a pink, Um.
Speaker 4:so I came up with a lot of unique ideas to incorporate everyone, but still stressed about the bridesmaid thing, even though it's done.
Speaker 2:No, totally. How did you feel about the bridesmaids? How many bridesmaids do you have?
Speaker 3:I don't have a single bridesmaid, you just have the maid of honor. I just have a maid of honor.
Speaker 2:Yes, we're getting the flip.
Speaker 4:Wow. No, wait but same like Literally the opposite, because I'm not having a maid of honor.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Like so I'm doing the well, we're kind of doing the same thing. Like I was just so stressed about all these people in my life. I moved a lot growing up and so I have so many important people from just different areas of my life. I also have, like my fiance's family, Like my. I have two brothers also do not have two sisters, Like okay.
Speaker 3:I do have two sisters but they are not like we didn't grow up together. So, yeah, it wasn't like this, like, oh, I have two sisters to help me, one's like super little, and then the eldest one she's 40. And so I'm like there's just like a big disconnect. So I was like, okay, I only have two brothers like in my immediate family and I was just like they both have long-term relationships too, too, that I'm close to, and so many things. So I was just like I'm not going to do it and I'm just going to like have different roles in my wedding where people will feel special and like a part of it.
Speaker 3:And then the Bachelorette was like it's a big one, I'm going in two weeks. Where are you going? I'm going to Cartagena, colombia. That's where my family's from Colombia. So I just thought of doing it on the coast over there Felt like very special to me. My cousin and some of my friends are also from there. So it was like perfect and I wanted people to kind of get a taste of who I was. So, yeah, I just I didn't want to stress about the dresses, like you said, it really is just a title and I have nothing against, like you know, bridesmaids at all. It wasn't this like vendetta, because I feel like on TikTok you get.
Speaker 4:People are angry. Yeah, people are angry. Bridesmaids like I love them.
Speaker 3:I love that. We could just be like oh my god, love that for you. Here's why I did it, but also love that for you, and this is why I did like it's just a combo, yeah, um, yeah. I was not like I know some people uh couldn't do all of that. I'm having a wedding here in LA. Me and my fiance are the only ones here, so to have bridesmaids for me and to have this like job role on these friends who are already flying here for my wedding, I just thought it was going to be too much because they would have to do all this other stuff on top of buying an outfit, on top of buying. I was just like no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:Everyone's in.
Speaker 3:Texas, and let's just who can come to the bachelorette can come. It does not mean you're a bridesmaid or not, you are just like my best friend, and so it just helped so much, cause I actually had a lot of friends who were like I can't make it if I want to go to your wedding.
Speaker 3:You know, I don't know. There's like so many things that come into play. So same thing I was trying to be very conscious about, like my friend situations and there's other weddings, people know other people. I was like you're already coming to LA. I just care about you coming to LA, so don't worry about this whole bridesmaid title. If you can make it to the bachelorette, come to the bachelorette. And I'm so happy. It all turned out perfect and I'm going to party with my BFFs and I'm so excited. We love that, we love that.
Speaker 4:So how many people are going on the bachelorette?
Speaker 3:Yeah, Because I'm so-.
Speaker 4:Doing basically the same thing.
Speaker 3:Okay, cool. So it's 10 of us, but I had originally invited quite a few. Like I had my little college group, but I have a high school group I've stayed really close to. I have my childhood best friends and then cousins. Also, I'm Latina, I come from a big family, so I had cousins and stuff, but it all worked out and so, yeah, it turned out to be 10 of us and so one of my best friends is Charlie. He's coming on the trip, but he's also my officiant.
Speaker 4:So it's like everyone.
Speaker 3:yeah, has like I love that. Yeah, they're double role.
Speaker 4:My cousin's my maid of honor, so she's the only one I asked cutest proposal ever, like, like I said I'm the first.
Speaker 3:Oh my god, it's all on her instagram. I was like, wait, I have to go. Look, you have to. It was the most intimate, chill thing. But like I thought it was just so precious. Um, I like I said, don't tell us. I made like a little customized box for her, super simple, but it was like all really cutie. I got her name engraved on like a ysl lipstick. Her favorite like lip color is a red lip, so got her a classic YSL, got her name on it. I did like Jo Malone scented candles like a makeup bag. Yeah, I kind of went for a more designer feel because she really likes designer items and she's just one girl, so I was like I can spoil you.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I didn't have to pay for like 10 other people.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know Jealous Respectfully. But like love you guys.
Speaker 2:But it was nice to do it for one person, oh, yeah, well, so this will take me right into my next question. I'll tell you I haven't asked mine yet. Yeah, nope, we have time. We have time. Well, that's, I'm curious. Yeah, actually think I'm the basic bitch in this like situation. I'm doing it very traditional, like I will have a maid of honor and I will have bridesmaids, um, and no one's about to be surprised, like everyone knows. So, but when did you guys yeah, whatever.
Speaker 2:When did you guys ask them Like how far out did you feel like this is comfy?
Speaker 3:for me, I know yours will probably, cause she has more bridesmaids just for for my maid of honor. They all live out of town, like I said. So in September I had booked my wedding dress appointment and I live here alone. So I was like, oh my God, my mom needs to come, my grandma needs to come. So my cousin, who is now my maid of honor, came with her mom. So anyway, we went to go try on dresses. So I took them to do the whole experience and since she was already in town from Florida, I just decided to ask her there. So that was in September and I'm getting married in July.
Speaker 1:I can't math.
Speaker 3:I don't know. So six something around more than six months before. I mean, I feel like I also took my time, though, because it was just one girl and like we had already been kind of like I've been hinting it for a time, but I was literally like you don't have to do anything besides plan the Columbia trip, because she's born and raised in Columbia. So I was like you can that is your one job and it was perfect, cause I've been chilling guys.
Speaker 3:It just had to have been like oh, venmo, okay, yeah, and I'll just send you Venmo. I'm so jealous.
Speaker 2:I know. So, rachel, flip side for you. When did you decide? Because you'd been engaged for about a year-ish, and then you asked.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and how many months was it away from the wedding? I I asked. I believe it was February or end of January, so it definitely was a good amount of time before. Honestly, it just kind of felt like the next natural thing that I needed to do in terms of wedding planning. And there were some people out of town actually, two of my bridesmaids live in LA. They didn't come in. I was like that's ridiculous. Do not spend money on a flight to come in for this brunch that I'm doing. I'll mail them all to you. But another friend who happened to be in town that weekend. So it all just kind of worked out and, honestly, my mom and brother were available to help me set it all up. So that was really why, and I don't know, just felt like kind of the next natural thing, like did the engagement party did the venue, and then it was like that was the next natural thing. Like did the engagement party did the venue, and then it was like that was the next thing. I don't know how else to say it.
Speaker 1:It just felt right, so I just yeah.
Speaker 4:I think I was ready to commit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm almost there. I'm like, okay. So once I hit the one year mark, I think I'm going to be like all right, it's time, but fun, fun, hack. This is so embarrassing. I bought some of the gifts to go in the box because I am going all out in these boxes. I've had a year to save for them and whatnot. I bought some of the stuff on Black Friday Perfect Genius. No, literally. Thank you, genius.
Speaker 3:My engraving. It was kind of on accident, but when I went to go get her stuff Sephora was doing some at the pro Promotion. They were doing oh, you can get all. If you buy a designer item, whatever, you get the free engravement.
Speaker 3:But then I got the YSL makeup bag through that, so like go to your local Sephora oh, we love that and ask and see if they're doing. But if you live in LA, go to the Grove. Go to the Grove Because they gave me and I like I was like talking to the girl, I was like this is for my cousin, she's going to be my maid of honor, and she went to the back and got me two more YSL little makeup bags and they were perfect for the aesthetic. So like just ask.
Speaker 2:That's the thing Milk the engagement. That's the beauty of having the time Milk them in terms of the gifting, I'm always trying to get free dessert. Acting like we got engaged yesterday, that's like not real. I love that we just got engaged. It's been your anniversary.
Speaker 3:I'm like we're thinking about doing engagement photo shoots here Like no, I am not Like shut up, no, but I think, like you said, a year is perfect, because now that I asked her in September and yeah, that was a year, right after of our engagement. Like I said, I only had one girl, but, like for you, I feel like, yeah, you're right on time girl.
Speaker 2:Thanks, flip-flflopping, seeing it kind of came up a little bit. Let's talk about dresses. You've obviously said yes to the dress. I don't know if you have.
Speaker 4:I just did. Last. Was it last week or two weeks ago? Oh my gosh, I just said yes to the dress.
Speaker 2:Beautiful I'm so excited.
Speaker 3:Oh it first. Okay, fine, yeah, mine's collecting dust, actually, no, I haven't even gotten how fucking ridiculous.
Speaker 2:Is it that we have to order them so in advance? It blows my mind.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was like a week off and he was like if you wait one more week you'll have to do expedited, and I was like huh. I'm like I thought I had plenty of time so I went to well, it was previously called Kingsley James.
Speaker 2:I don't know why, I said that Now Jackson James, now Jackson James.
Speaker 3:I just went there last weekend. Yeah, you know, girl yeah yeah, I got the whole email. So I went to Jackson James and I got Kim Casas. Should I say that? I don't know? It's up to you. Yeah, I feel like I can. I'm excited for you. Yeah, I don't think anyone else is like I'm thinking of my fiance. He's not going to go. What's a Kim Casas?
Speaker 2:If he listens to this, God bless him. So I got a.
Speaker 3:Kim Casas gown and she was like a designer that I had been obsessed with, like I'm very much like a Bridgerton. It's like the theater girl inside of me, I guess. But I wanted drama, I wanted uniqueness. I can give you guys a little sneak peek.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was going to say we'll do some photo.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I want to see, I'll give you guys a little sneak peek. But I wanted something so different. So I was actually really fatigued going into looking for dresses because I felt like I was looking at the same dress at all times, which, like I have nothing against. It's popular for a reason I get it, I respect it but for me like nothing, felt like Stephanie and so, yeah, I went with my mom. My grandma was the first time ever doing that. My grandma got married like super young. So she you know it was like those traditional, like Catholic church, like you got married by Shoulders covered. Yeah, literally.
Speaker 1:Exactly like you got married by shoulders.
Speaker 2:Yeah, literally Exactly, and like she's a, she's also she was a head tailor at Dillard's for so many years. She designed like wedding gowns as well. Oh fuck, she's picking these up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she's like four, nine, and she was literally like in Columbia I used to make these gowns, so like something better. Wow, me and I would. I was like okay, okay, okay, um. So my mom was like loved anything and everything. She never got married, my parents never got married, so my mom was like on cloud nine. I wanted to give her that experience. And they both, like all three of us kind of I have the video and we all like went towards the Kim Casas section anyway, before I even told them about it, and we all like hovered and we all kind of like picked these two gowns that were like one was the dress I ended up getting and the other one was the one I went in for, and they were like out of these, like the whole store, these two, and so we were all kind of already on the same page. Synergy yeah, that's great, though I had an amazing guy help me. He, oh, my God, I believe it's Corey.
Speaker 4:I think that's the most important part, your stylist.
Speaker 3:Yes. My stylist Makes or breaks the experience he was literally the only man there and at first I got a little nervous cause I was like, oh my God, I got the only man, like okay, I hope it works out Like not that that's a problem. But I was just like yeah, you just like you don't know.
Speaker 3:And he is literally now named my fairy godmother, like we cried in. I'm not even being dramatic. I know this sounds so dramatic, but I have never had such a more magical experience in my life. He really hooked it up. He knew I was a content creator too, but he also understood that, like I'm paying for my own wedding, yeah. So he like hooked me up with a great collaboration on this dress as well. I've got to. I've got to with a great collaboration on this dress as well.
Speaker 1:I've got to, I've got to. Oh wow, Literally that was smart of you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like dream partnership with Jackson James. I know they do work with a lot of other girls, but I was shocked because I I don't feel like I was as big as them. So I was just like that'll never happen to me and he just like, very yeah very god.
Speaker 2:It was amazing. I got my dream dress, my dream veil. He was like here, veil's on me and I was like shut up.
Speaker 3:No, I'm not joking, those are expensive. Why are they so expensive? It's literally two. No one told us about that. I was literally. I was going to say a word. I probably can't say on a podcast, but I was just speechless.
Speaker 3:You could cuss. No, I was literally. I was gagged because I was literally like what? But yeah, it was like such a beautiful experience. I think we got a little too turnt on champagne with my grandma and my mom, but he just loved my family. He actually doesn't work there anymore, he just left, but I was like I was his last like client.
Speaker 3:It was meant to be and he went out all out for me. He was like you're such a, your family, you are just great vibes. And so, yeah, my finding my wedding dress and like trying it on and having it with this guy was like the best experience of my life, like I was like I'll never have something so magical. But every other dress was a struggle, though. I was like this is a scam did you have?
Speaker 2:well, did you have the traditional? Like tears in your eyes um, this is the fucking dress.
Speaker 3:I not the first time. I tried mine on twice, so I went back so that day I knew it was it. But he was like can you give it a second?
Speaker 4:And I was like okay, I'll give it a second. Mad respect to him Honestly.
Speaker 3:I was telling him how detailed I've been with my wedding. I'm so intentional. I haven't been impulsive at all. Everything I want is for a reason, and he could feel that. And so I ended up going back with my fiance's family and my two best friends from here in LA, and there I cried because I think I let myself, I think the last few times. You know you also, you try on so many.
Speaker 3:I don't know about y'all, but I tried on so many and sometimes like you're in a $15,000 gown and I was like I'm not going to make myself cry Like I wanted to cry, but there's no way that I can't like it, exactly so I think a lot of it was that I was like there's so many and I didn't want to get myself to like it, but my dress was like.
Speaker 3:The second time I put it on to show my fiance's family, I like cried and everyone in the store was like you look like the Virgin Mary and I was like crying and I was just like really it was hilarious, I was dying. But yeah, I did cry the second time, but not the first time. I had a lot of body dysmorphia going on. Yeah, honest, yeah, I was like I tried on so many dresses because I always thought I was going to be an A-line girly, not me just like hijacking the dress I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:No, we love to Sorry, Rachel, no go, go ahead.
Speaker 3:But I always thought I was going to be an A-line girly, yeah, and when I was trying on dresses like ball gowns, I was like that's a little too much for me. Mermaid's not for me. The straighter dresses, like you know, the cool girl dresses that are so popular. Study the styles before is a huge help. It's so helpful. And then I walk in and try these A-line dresses and I was like this is the ugliest shit.
Speaker 4:I've ever seen on me.
Speaker 3:You have to put it on your body, yeah, and it just didn't look right, yeah, and everyone, even the guy, was like it's not fitting you, why are you hiding? I'm like, I'm not hiding anything like I feel like I'm not this like voluptuous girly, um, and turns out those tighter fitting dresses just looked a little bit I am so dead, so opposite of me.
Speaker 2:Rachel, tell us about because you so you also have to give us. You have the beauty of being in New York and I feel like I went deep down the rabbit hole of trying to understand bridal fashion week. You just went, invited to a million events, so I need you to tell us your dress situation, but also give the girls what they need to know about New York fashion week. Bridal fashion week You've been twice too.
Speaker 4:I've been twice. Yeah, I've been twice. I mean two or three times. So the first time I'll start bridal fashion week, the first time I ever got invited, I was like what? Like I got an email to like an event and I was like what is this Like? Is it made up? I had no idea.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it sounds fake, I literally had no idea.
Speaker 4:Sounds fake. It's totally real. It's basically a fashion week for and it's when all of the designers kind of drop their latest collections and then you know like they go, they have their trunk shows and things like that afterwards, but it's like they premiere them during this bridal fashion week. So this time was I feel like when I've gone in the past let's back up a little I was just like oh, they're pretty, whatever. Like I wasn't the girly who knew all the designers. Yeah, nothing, which is like the most not me thing ever I know. Like I didn't know one wedding dress designer, obviously. No, that was now honestly same. I knew nothing which is like the most not me thing ever.
Speaker 3:I know, like I didn't know one wedding dress designer.
Speaker 4:No that was me.
Speaker 2:Honestly same yeah.
Speaker 4:I can tell you every single fucking one, but I had no idea about any of it. Like even like months after I was engaged I had a friend texting me who's also engaged, Like you need to go to this designer, this designer, this designer I was like great, but who are they? Like I didn't know a thing. So going in the past to bridal fashion week fun, pretty dresses, Wahoo I was like great, We'll post some pictures. But this time it was really interesting going because I was in the midst of wedding dress shopping at the same time, so it overlapped very nicely and very unintentionally. So I was previewing these other dresses and some of the events. I was trying on dresses, which was really interesting because it was like me alone, not with my mom.
Speaker 3:Isn't it the weirdest experience?
Speaker 4:And they're like clamping you and you're like who am I going to show? Oh, I was showing a random girl who I met at the event and at the next one, two girls who work in PR who invited me. It was just me and them at the appointment and I was like you're my mom yeah, and they'll be the realist.
Speaker 3:They'll be like love it, Don't oh exactly.
Speaker 4:It was wild because it was like I literally was just coming off of wedding dress shopping. So that was interesting. So I would say going to it when I was dress shopping was really great because it made me kind of solidify that I was going to go back and buy my dress, that I did.
Speaker 4:Seeing what was coming out and being like, oh, I don't like any of that, that's not for me. Yes, so I don't know. It's really interesting, and so if you're listening and you are wedding dress shopping and it happens to be around final fashion week, stay on everyone's stories, see what's coming up, cause then you could go to a trick show and buy it and all that fun stuff.
Speaker 2:Literally me to Rachel. When I see her at these events, I like message her, I'm like did you see this certain designer? And she's like, yeah, wasn't it? And then, sure enough, they come out and I'm like she was right, it ain't it, yeah, ain't it? Not it. Oh, did you end up trying? So okay, then we have to hear your yes moment. So I've. Recently there was one from. So Bridal Fashion Week has two drops Just for let me save you the headache of trying to figure this out from Google.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, give me the tea. Brando, fashion Week has two drops One that's supposed to be spring summer of the coming year and then fall winter of like the coming year, so it would-.
Speaker 4:It makes no sense. It makes no fucking sense. It's so hard to conceptualize it. But then Right, if it doesn't drop until next year, you can still buy it now.
Speaker 2:Now, but it won't be until you have your dress the next year. It's so confusing.
Speaker 4:It's so mind-blowing. Whoever came up with it, I don't understand.
Speaker 2:Horrible idea. Just call them like the newest. Like can we just put the date?
Speaker 4:The latest drop will come this date, right so because I've had this long engagement.
Speaker 2:I tried on wedding dresses kind of early. I started around Thanksgiving. My parents were my mom, most importantly, not my dad was heading on a two month world cruise, so she wasn't going to be here for a while. So I was like we got to knock some of this out of the way in case like you know you're not here.
Speaker 2:You got to buy it, right, I'm not going to go the first time without my mom to try on wedding dresses, so I started early and then the first drop that was new had already come out and I was looking at the newest dresses and there was a dress I really liked from a. It was a Berta dress, I'll just say it.
Speaker 3:I was going to say can I say it? Yeah, you can. Berta was me before Kim Casas.
Speaker 1:Like Berta was, I was going to fly to New York to their flagship store. I was going to fly to New.
Speaker 3:York. No, I was a Berta, that was. I wish I could have brought you with me. That was literally the only brand, like the only wedding dress brand that I was like oh my God, designer that I really that I really, really.
Speaker 2:That was the one that online I'm like this is it?
Speaker 3:Yeah, this is the moment, and then I completely changed.
Speaker 2:So I tried on this bird address that I do, I can't say I don't not love and doesn't run rent free a little bit in my brain. And then I was like, well, I'm not need, I don't need to commit to one more round comes out, so like I'm just gonna wait to see what they come out. I love you, bird up. But then I'm texting Rachel and I'm like, how's the new line? And it came out and I was just like, well, it's that other one from the other one, because this one ain't giving me what I need. The newest drop, um, so fair, okay, but I want to go back I can't believe you got to try it on, though.
Speaker 2:No, I didn't try it on, I just deeply went through every influencer, I know checking to see if they're just and like I'm down to the wedding content creators that I think have a similar body type to me, like I'm creepy.
Speaker 4:I'm creepy as fuck, no it's not creepy at all.
Speaker 3:I feel like, well, what else is it there for? Like social media, there me to stock everything, no like. But literally I use it as like it's my google.
Speaker 2:Just let me see videos instead of googling it, and then it's like you know, a freaking couldn't have said it better yeah, like clip arts, thing of right I want to hear did you be brutally honest about I will you're saying yes to the dress moment? Was it like? Because it seems like yours was like the TV show.
Speaker 4:Mine was, mine was different, mine was very good, we love that Like negative. First of all, no one offered me champagne ever in all of my wedding dress. Trying on some of the places here.
Speaker 2:You have to bring your own.
Speaker 4:Oh really. But the thing is with that. I don't like champagne, I don't like drinks with bubbles, it's just the thought.
Speaker 3:You were like I wasn't going to drink it, but where is it Tips? But you should have offered it. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4:I guess you have to ask.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you have to ask. A lot of places only have it for your say yes moment. But if you ask, they'll usually cough it up Not me being the alcoholics with the alcoholic group. Wait, now that I know you have it and I know other stores like Jackson James, as well as Lovella in LA you can bring your own champagne Not that I did that, you know. And if you did.
Speaker 3:who cares? Wait, I just okay. So I went to one. I'm so sorry to interrupt you, but the first one I went to they didn't. No, yeah, they didn't offer, but it was kind of like a Galia Lahav did right at the top.
Speaker 2:Okay, they were like we know our shit's expensive.
Speaker 4:Yeah, injured Jackson James had the whole.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Jackson. James did the whole thing for sure, they were fine, but I would say food was offered because it was an event, so I did do a try on there. At the event there was champagne, but I don't count that Totally. Yeah, no, I wouldn't count it either, because that one was on accident.
Speaker 1:But yeah, no, I didn't get it on the first one. You want the?
Speaker 2:traditional moment, wait, that sucks, you're so right.
Speaker 3:It's the thought that counts.
Speaker 2:I will send you champagne.
Speaker 4:Thank you, I would have pretended to drink.
Speaker 4:Just for the photo, the content yeah that Content, yeah, that you can't even post because you're in the dress no, literally, yeah, wedding dress shopping. So I feel like I took a really strategic approach because, again, I knew nothing going into this and then I learned so much. So I'm from outside of Philly and I wanted to go with my mother-in-law and my mom, so we went there. First, there's two stores that people told us to go to and I was like I probably won't buy my dress at one of these. I need to go to a place that has a lot of styles, options, designers and see what I like on my body Without giving so much away. I obviously I want to be a princess and be in a ball gown, but I'm five foot. That's so not realistic. So I was like I need to go get that out of my system.
Speaker 4:Literally I probably will go in something tighter, because I'm literally so short, I'm 5'1".
Speaker 3:Okay, so we're on the same age here. Oh, so I'm the tall queen of the room. Okay, no, here's a tall one. No, this is making so much sense and you don't even think about it. You go in and try on these gowns and it's like made for a seven foot, like model.
Speaker 4:It's for a model. I know my mom was thinking. I'm a model, and my mom was trying to break it to me. She's like you're five foot, Like you're standing on the pedestal.
Speaker 3:You're really not that tall.
Speaker 2:You're both cute. My parents are out there gassing me up. You look like a model. I fucking don't.
Speaker 4:But I actually found a dress at my first appointment I believe it was the first one I tried on and we really liked it. Like we left thinking that was the one. It wasn't Spo spoiler alert it was like a tight fitted dress we were going to switch. We were going to do so many things to switch it. We were going to switch the lace add, like this skirt situation. But we were like, oh, like our stylist, like kind of what we were going back to, to what we were saying earlier. She knew what she was doing. She heard me. She was like put this, put this and do this. She was great. And then I went to another appointment the same day, hated everything. We were like, oh, we like that other dress so, and the stylist wasn't that good. So I really think the stylist can really make or break the experience. I totally agree.
Speaker 4:And then, and then I had a Monique Lillier dress on my Pinterest board for like. Since I started looking and I was like I I have to go try it on before I commit to a different dress, and I'm also going to go to Mark Ingram, which is another bridal store here, where they carry a bunch of different designers that I was interested in here in New York. Totally recommend going there. Um went to. Monique hated the dress on me. It was beautiful. I just was too short.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it breaks your heart. I was just so short.
Speaker 4:No I like went in I told the stylist, I was like I want that dress and he's, and then I put on and I was like yeah, and he was like do you want to try on anything else? I was like not really. No, I was like I came for this reason.
Speaker 4:I'm devastated, but that's okay. It's good to see things you don't like. So still thought I was getting the other dress next day. Rolls around, my mom's still here. I actually thought people were dming me go to burda, go to burda, go to burda. I got so many dms go to burda so I was like mom, let's go to burda. Um made an appointment literally 30 minutes before. Uh had so much fun trying on dresses there. I will say, since you haven't tried it on yet, the one thing that I found like physically, literally uncomfortable. They have a bodysuit in all of their dresses.
Speaker 2:There's tight ones. Have bodysuits? Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah, which is?
Speaker 4:really it's smart, it's interesting. But when I was trying them on I was like I feel suffocated, like it was really interesting. So I didn't find the one there, but I had lots of fun trying on their most expensive dresses. I tried on the dress that Berta's daughter wore she made for her. I know I was like wow, look at me. And then I went to Mark Ingram that day, readied by the other dress, and I had another really great stylist. I told her what I liked. She pulls these dresses. She pulls one. I was like I like that. Um, I was like it might be too much for you. We put it on and we were both like whoa.
Speaker 4:And we were like this is the one that he was, just like it felt so special, like you felt like it was the one. Um so yeah, did you cry. That was really exciting, so I don't cry ever. It's a really weird thing, so like got engaged, didn't cry, but I was like I felt emotional but I didn't cry, and we were also getting rushed out of the appointment at the same time. Like our time was up and we're like, can we put it on again?
Speaker 2:so but you might be about to buy it so like, let her exactly.
Speaker 4:I know. So she did. Shelly was great. We love shelly. Um, talked to her this morning. So then we were like, oh, this is the dress. And then slapped on it and then I had to wait for my mom to come back to new york because I wanted her to be there. Like they measure every single part of your body, something I didn't know going into- this literally, dress is made for you.
Speaker 4:Yes, exactly, um, I was going to say. Funny enough, it ended up being a dress that I had saved on my Pinterest board as well, that I didn't even remember. I was looking back and I was like, oh my God, that's my dress.
Speaker 3:I was like, oh, it was meant to be so that actually happened to me too, and it's it wasn't subconscious, yeah and okay. So I don't want to be like that crazy. It wasn't too. It wasn't the exact photo, but the style that I was looking for, that I kept catching myself pinning. I was like pinning certain wedding dresses that I thought I wanted, which was like very A-line, not quite ball gown but not quite mermaid, just like A-line loose, whatever. And I was like also pinning a certain style that I felt like was also kind of part of me, and then that aesthetic came to fruition in my dress because I was like, whoa, this was not what I am.
Speaker 4:It's so funny how that happened. It's so funny, start pinning.
Speaker 2:Start pinning. Well, the funniest part is like. I've tried on a million dresses, I've had a lot of time, whatnot, and I thought I was going to, for sure, be a fitted girly. That's what's in the Pinterest board. Really Definitely a ball gown A-line girly. Definitely a ball gown A-line girly, isn't it crazy, you just flip.
Speaker 3:You just flip it. You never know, you never know, you don't know until you put a dress on your body.
Speaker 4:You don't know. You can't judge it until it's on you.
Speaker 3:Literally and try literally. Anyone listening, Everyone listening.
Speaker 4:Everyone, everyone.
Speaker 3:Go, try as many freaking dresses as you can, all the styles, oh, I agree. Literally the widest range you can think of the fun ones that you're like so-and-so's daughter wore. I had one. I tried on the one that every influencer in LA-.
Speaker 2:Is it the?
Speaker 3:Gali Elhav white lace one.
Speaker 2:It's the Kim Kisos ball gown one, the Kim Kisos ball with the white bead.
Speaker 4:With the white bead yeah, literally.
Speaker 3:That one.
Speaker 4:I know exactly what you're talking about.
Speaker 3:You have to try it on. You got to get it out of your stomach, oh my God.
Speaker 4:And it was stunning.
Speaker 3:I was literally like I cannot believe I'm wearing this on, but like that whole Like have fun, have fun and do it, but also have so much grace with yourself, because although my finding mine was like so fairytale-like and so beautiful because of my stylist only, I would say the process before that was like terrible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I cried after the first day of trying on dresses, because I was just like so tired it's overwhelming, yeah.
Speaker 2:And I was like kind of concerned about like the committee making sure the committee was happy and like I could still come to realization. And I'm not going to lie, I haven't said yes to the dress yet, so like I could be bullshitting right now, but like I don't think I'm going to cry. I haven't said yes to the dress yet, so like I could be bullshitting right now, but like I don't think I'm going to cry Like I literally think I'm just going to be like okay, I'm at peace Like it's this one, not like the big dramatic moment and I'm dramatic girly.
Speaker 3:I think I cried on the second time because I was like it's done, Like it's a task completed yes, it was beautiful, that's what my mom said.
Speaker 4:A task completed yes, it was beautiful. That's what my mom said. Yeah, I think I was relieved. She literally said thank God it's done. Yeah, it was the anxiety.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. I think that's what it was. Obviously, I did love it, but I haven't cried for anything else and it also wasn't this crazy dramatic cry. It was a little teary-eyed because everyone's staring at you telling you how beautiful you are. So I was like that is really kind Like wow, it's going to happen at your wedding too. I know I was like, oh God, what am I going to do?
Speaker 3:Got to get prepared, start practicing, give yourself grace. Give yourself so much grace and, like any standard you have for yourself, just kind of try to throw it out the window and just accept your body in the moment, because I was really struggling. The first video I put on Instagram where it's like come with me to try on dresses and like I don't know, it's a reel I made, I don't even know why. I posted it because I hate that video so much and it did so well-ish, because we all want to see dresses.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, yeah, everyone wants to see the dresses and people are like oh my God, stephanie.
Speaker 3:I was like, guys, this was the worst day of my life and I'm posting it because I tried on fun dresses and I want to share them. But there was one dress there that is still my Roman Empire.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's in my head rent free, but yeah, it happens.
Speaker 3:Because if you're short and not, tall like this girl. You're short Not everyone's an extra, extra, extra small. It is what it is, yeah.
Speaker 4:Okay, I was going to say no dresses fit in any way shape. They're all like they're, so either so big, so small, it's like the craziest sizing that they have. It just makes no sense. Um, but I will say I don't know if you guys did this. Going to more than one place to try on dresses in one day is so much. It is so exhausting, so overwhelming. It's like the headache you get from going to the mall times a thousand. You're drained.
Speaker 2:Yeah, two a day is an absolute max. Three, you're actually crazy yeah.
Speaker 4:No, I agree. No Three, you're out of your mind. Mental capacity One you're tired.
Speaker 2:See, I can handle two, but I'm nuts. We did oh, I was losing my mind. See, I can handle two, but like I'm nuts, like we did, oh, I was losing my mind, I can. The first day we did one and then two, and then the third day we ended with just one and I was like oh, like that was a lot. But I could have done a second in that day, but no way should anybody ever do three in a day, in my opinion.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, no. I don't think you give yourself enough time to sit in it either you give yourself enough time to sit in it?
Speaker 2:No, not at all. Okay. That being said, I want to shift into wedding planning like a little bit. Who do you not share your opinions about your wedding?
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for listening to Confessions of a Wannabe it Girl. Don't forget to rate and subscribe to the show. As always, we'll see you next Tuesday.