Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl
Behind the Filter: Social Media is So Fake we Thinks is Normal
This episode is a journey through the shiny, yet deceptive world of social media. Listen as I dissect social media and the complex juxtaposition of influencer marketing. Social media content is often a far cry from reality and is very much produced media. Let this act as your reminder: social media is not real life.
You can watch the full episodes on our Youtube
Youtube - Confessionsofawannabeitgirl
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s TikTok:
@wannabeitgirlpodcast
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s IG:
@confessionsofawannabeitgirl
This episode is a journey through the shiny, yet deceptive world of social media. Listen as I dissect social media and the complex juxtaposition of influencer marketing. Social media content is often a far cry from reality and is very much produced media. Let this act as your reminder: social media is not real life.
You can watch the full episodes on our Youtube
Youtube - Confessionsofawannabeitgirl
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s TikTok:
@wannabeitgirlpodcast
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s IG:
@confessionsofawannabeitgirl
Welcome back to Confessions of a Wannabe it Girl, the podcast helping you filter out the BS in pursuits of becoming your own it girl, or the very next it girl. And let's dive in Wannabe it Girls. Today, about the founding topic of this podcast social media, we are going to talk about going behind the filter, which is just the tip of the iceberg these days of social media, and how it is so fake. At this point, we think it's fucking normal. Welcome to Confessions of a Wannabe it Girl. I'm your host, marley Fregging, and I'm here to help you filter out all the bullshit and become the next it Girl.
Speaker 1:This podcast explores the reality of what it really takes to make it out there. As it turns out, it is way less Instagrammable than I thought it was going to be. I'm still very much a work in progress, but there's simply nothing else I'd rather be doing than chasing my dreams. So let's learn from my mistakes and work together to achieve our dreams with more confidence, clarity and direction. Let's get after it. Clarity and direction, let's get after it. I mean, this is hardly a new concept of saying that social media is so fake. I just think that our retention for it has so much more in Was retention the right word Tomato. Tomato of it has just so increased. We are like Pavlovian to it at this point. We've been exposed to it so much. We're just so increased. We are like Pavlovian to it at this point. We've been exposed to it so much, we're just so used to this innate concept of social media. Social media fakeness, trending, authentic, filtered, edited. At this point, it's not jarring and not new. It's just such a part of life that I felt like we need to dive into what's behind it one more time. Not one more time, who knows. I could talk about this till I'm dead, but let's talk about the ever green topic of beauty trends on social media.
Speaker 1:I saw this great TikTok a while back from Ella Helanquez and she was talking about how you should never make your body a trend because trends change, and she was talking about, in relationship to plastic surgery, like the BBL was really in about a year ago. Do you even know what that is? Big Brazilian butt lift? Oh, I thought big, something less. No, brazilian butt lift was like really in a few years ago because, you know, kim Kardashian had that big ass and then everybody wanted the big ass. So you know, people would get Brazilian butt lifts and you know. So the big asses aren't in anymore. I mean they're not, not in. They're not the top trend. Right now. The top trend is definitely the Ozempic body, like we're back to heroin chic and being super skinny and like whatnot to heroin chic and being super skinny and whatnot.
Speaker 1:Point being it ebbs and flows. Not saying that these things aren't attractive, but why on earth would you make some permanent changes or things that are on your body a trend? Fashion is a whole other problem that I'm not willing to get into. But we can throw away, change in clothing, outgrow things, upgrade our style, but like your body isn't something we should feel like we can trade in and go get a new one every day. I mean plastic surgery, not against it, actually kind of pro plastic surgery awareness here, in fact but these are big life altering decisions and it's not something that we should make be a trend that can flow in and out with the times.
Speaker 1:Like the weirdest thing to me with beauty trends on social media is for a second, there I found myself I would say this is right after I graduated college nice and secure time to tap into, I was like I didn't feel like I was maybe pretty enough to live in LA and at the time maybe still somewhere in the world. The duck lips was like in and I was like, in order to feel pretty, I have to look like I have lip filler. That is not a real look. To look like you have lip filler, it is such a bad A it's a bad idea and B I could rabbit hole here but point being is like there is beauty trends we see on social media and we think we need to have them. A I think the biggest one that people can really tap into is, you know, having a certain body, having a certain body type, having a certain weight and certain look and all these things. And you know, you can start to feel really insecure if you don't have the things that you've seen on Instagram. And I will never forget the moment that I saw someone's I want to say it was a TikTok and I was like, oh my God, I could so recreate that video, like I am just as beautiful and as gorgeous and as together as that person. Let me make a very similar TikTok. Hers has, like you know, half a million views. Mine will obviously have a lot of views and it hits 200. Nothing makes you feel more insecure than fucking that.
Speaker 1:Comparing yourself A to the online world in the comfort of your own bedroom and your mirror, but then putting yourself online comparing yourselves externally, can really do something. Needless to say, social media we don't know how it's curated, how it's created, what's going on for that person in the actual filming or photo taking process in our lives, which I'm going to break up like an odd topic that I feel like is I hope people know about, is delayed posting. People post sometimes like hours later, days later, weeks later. I don't think this is like a new concept but, like I'm just saying, like the delayedness of posting really allows for a lot of curation to happen in that span of time that you've delayed. I mean, we're talking about editing picture, fakeness, testing it on the feed, showing a friend or two.
Speaker 1:So delayed posting, while for creators and you know just anybody on social media at all, you know, might give a little bit more time to go over if they like it, it also gives a lot more time to change and remove the realness of that photo. That photo, that moment, that vibe can kind of like go away and even though it may appear to you watching somebody's Coachella vlog? They still have like a whole day to edit it. Yes, they are still at Coachella, maybe, but it just the curation really happens in the delayed posting and that instant thing of social media I would say has gone down so much more and has become so much more of a let me go home, plan it out, pace it out, figure out how I'm going to lay it out. So the instant, authentic in air quotes momentum has definitely decreased and I will say people definitely do delayed posting for a lot of reasons.
Speaker 1:You know, people have full-blown content days where all they do is take pictures of outfits or make TikTok reels. You know, it's not all so like on the fly and in the moment, but also a huge reason I don't know if people know this that, like celebrities post super delayed content and specifically stories for safety reasons, because you can easily figure out where a person is by their posts. This is a niche reference. So go with me. A few years ago I want to say it was Shia LaBeouf did something, I don't remember what, and they were trying to figure out the location or something of this and a flag was flying in the background of his photo or something and just because of that flag in the background of his photo, they could figure out the longitudes and latitudes and exact location. There are smart people out there in the world and so whatever you're posting on the internet can be somewhat traceable. I mean, I have looked at people I maybe don't exactly know's Instagram and seen a location I recognize in the background and then maybe I know where they live.
Speaker 1:There's a safety element of delaying your posts that go in. I mean, I think about this one celebrity who's maybe one of the biggest it girls of the moment. She posted a story at a very trendy workout place and I literally could. I've been to multiple locations of this workout place and I could tell which location it was and I was like for my sake, because I would have fangirled and freaked out, but also for her sake. I hope this is super delayed, which I'm sure it was. I'm just saying again, this is why this shit is fake. It is not real, but we at this point think that is fucking normal. But was it ever normal to take a photo and tell people where you were? Also, I'd like to point out a safety factor here. Someone brought up to me not posting photos or content exposing the outside of my apartment building, even because then people can maybe figure out where you live. Just a side safety note here.
Speaker 1:That being said, though, authenticity why did that become the biggest buzzword of social media? And I've heard it a lot when people say, like, well, like, you want to have a social media following. Like, just be authentic. Hey, what the fuck does that mean? And be like social media, no matter how fucking authentic you try to be, it's not an authentic media. I just I don't really believe there's an authentic medium in the world. Like, I just don't. Like. I believe everything is produced, everything is edited and everything is curated, yet we're told to go look inside and figure out what's authentic and post that online if you're trying to build a following. Yet I'll be completely honest that when I get on social media, I'm not following people because I think they're so fucking authentic. I'm following them because they have a cool life and I want to see what it looks like and maybe there's an insecurity there, not because I'm like they're so authentic. I'm going to give them the follow. What? No, that is absolute bullshit. And again, I refuse to believe even the most authentic of authentic videos are not curated in some form.
Speaker 1:You remember when became a trend of I'm not against people showing emotions the trailer for this podcast has a clip of me crying but suddenly it was like very trendy to be crying on your social media platform and like. People were like, wow, that's so vulnerable and I agree, on some level let's have some space for vulnerability. But I think it just stood out to us and then we were like, wow, so clickbaity of us, I'm going to go follow and like this person now because they were vulnerable. And then other people started doing it and it totally lost its authenticity. Once again Saying that this is not a shocker to anyone but marketing is now just social media for the most part.
Speaker 1:When we were children, it was ads and commercials and not that those things don't exist, but I think it works too well in marketing agencies' hands that social media preys on our insecurities and we think, to fill these voids of our insecurities, that the thing that could change them, because we're so primed from great marketing, is to buy more things to have more things, more things to have more things, and the follower count. The likes and insecurity of social media just played right into marketing genius's hands and now I feel like the biggest marketing point is having a social media presence, having the right influencers working on your campaigns, in your campaigns, to help field the person viewing attention, reach their insecurities and then end up making a purchase. And I think it's happening in the beauty space, the body space, clothing and, of course, my favorite one kind of like the wealth space. I think that marketing and luxury goods really have a big pivot back into the world of social media and they did it in the most smart way because you don't realize it's happening. And they do have now some traditional influencer marketing. But it was just like oh, by chance, on top of it, these people have these luxury things by chance. I'm not going to push it on you, but you're going to notice it in the background that I have luxury goods and maybe that was the luxury goods marketing strategy all along was just like oh and comma and I have a blank, blank bag. I don't know how they did it. Point being, it's such a marketing tool. Now it's again not real, it is fake. It's so crazy.
Speaker 1:The potentially biggest influencer at the moment. She was telling a really fucking interesting story on her TikTok channel. I was sucked into this story. And yet I didn't realize that, as she was telling this super fucking interesting story that she was testing out new lipsticks, it was so casual, it was so underwhelming and I was like, damn, she's really good at making fucking ads. And then I had to look at the bottom to realize that the products had been tagged in. I was like, wow, innately, subconsciously, she made it super casual, easy, probably for herself to make that video. And then me as a viewer, so casually, was like, wow, she's trying out new lip products. It was clearly a one take video. She was just telling a story and putting on lipstick and it was excellently done.
Speaker 1:But not all ads are as clean as that. Even though that was like a super clean ad, I still wonder if someone had to review that ad, give approval, pass it on again, making it a produced medium, which swings me more into the editing realm. God, I mean the things you can do on a phone. To edit things now in various apps, within the apps of Instagram and TikTok now, is so impressive. And then, let alone having a full-blown, just like we do for this podcast video editor to help you create any kind of content.
Speaker 1:It's a normal part of the job at this point, like so many big influencers, medium influencers and even small influencers at this point, outsource content creation, content editing, and it's so normal that we like forget that that wasn't originally the original purpose of having social media. It was very like on the fly and just to have it just really dives into the curation again and the brain power, like I think about again bigger accounts and particularly celebrity accounts, who didn't come into social media because of social media. They are having to use social media because of their profession, the teams that sit behind this person and pitch ideas of what TikToks and social media clips or stories or photos to take, like it's just, like not measurable, to Sally in her bedroom with just like her iPhone, like they're just it's comparing apples, like a full. No, not comparing apples, it's a full blown set experience with editors, writers, producers and then just one person. And I do think that's why, when one person with like one iPhone has a great idea and makes hilarious content, we flock to it, naturally or subconsciously, because we're like, damn, this one person had this great idea. But inevitably these people start to blow up, I hate to say it, start to become unrelatable because now their life looks so different and trying to hold onto that relatability is a real skill and a real talent and some good therapy and some good groundingness, I think and there's not a lot of people in the space honestly I think, even me included that can do it that great.
Speaker 1:It's a tricky thing, but again it goes back to the curation of things. It's just so much time, energy, money and editing goes into social media channels. Now Look at what's going on in the TV and film industry right now. There's less and less shows being made. There was a huge boom, and now what's going on in the TV and film industry right now? There's less and less shows being made. There was a huge boom and now there's just so much more push for people to be on their phones. I've heard people recently say I just can't wait to go home and just get 20 minutes of scroll time to just dump the brain. And for me that used to be to go home and watch TV, but now I would watch two to three hours of TV a night. Now I'm maybe watching 30 minutes because I've spent an hour to two hours on my phone Just saying where are the eyeballs? Again, it's becoming a curated, produced media to the next level.
Speaker 1:And while we're staying on the negative fucking side, I want to talk about something that I've touched on a little bit before here. Why are people so fucking bold in the comment section the negative comments given there are plenty of nice comments out there too, the people just really like. Why do you want to share your negative comments? Maybe it makes you feel better? I don't get it.
Speaker 1:But, like I have seen on my YouTube channel, on other people's channels, on other people's TikToks just like the most negative, unnecessary statements, and I'm just like God, this is just not that deep. It's not that deep that people are posting this shit and people are into it. But then it's also like it's not that deep. It's not deep enough to leave a negative comment about it, like we're just out here for entertainment. A little bit it bugs me and I'll be honest, when I get one negative comment on YouTube, it does hurt my feelings a little bit. It doesn't send me through a desperate spiral and I can only imagine what people on the rise go through, because I do think once you hit risen you become a little callous to it, but on the rise it is probably a hard fucking spell to go to and it's just like, again, not that deep.
Speaker 1:So I just want to leave by saying we have so passed the point of social media not being a thing. I think it's people's business cards. All the time when I meet new people I don't want to ask for their phone number because I think it's weird and creepy and there's the intonation of you're being hit on or whatnot. But I'll ask them for their Instagram. I'm like, yeah, let's connect. What's your Instagram? We are so past the point of Instagram and social media and TikTok not being a thing. But let's maybe stop it from what you think about yourself and your self-esteem, at least some of the time.
Speaker 1:I understand how people put work into these metrics. It's their jobs, and so people have like identifying factors to being on social media. It's a form of expression, creative expression, if you will but we just can't put our full self-worth into social media. I think a lot of people know this. I'm about it Like dive in on the social media, but don't forget to just kind of give yourself a little tap on the screen and close out that this is just like not that real and not that neat. That being said, guys, thank you so much for listening to Confessions of a Wannabe it Girl with our very grassroots topic again talking about the bullshit in the world out there as we filter through it, and I hope to see you guys next Tuesday. Thank you so much for listening to Confessions of a Wannabe it Girl. Don't forget to rate and subscribe to the show. As always, we'll see you next Tuesday.