Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl
How to Reclaim Your Life from Digital Overload: Living Beautifully with Palak Dave
Can stepping away from screens help you reconnect with yourself and others? This week on we chat with Pollack, author of "Beautiful Every Day: A Guide to Living in the Here and Now".
We explore the pressures of social media and its impact on mental health. Pollack and I discuss strategies like setting designated times for online activities to create a balanced digital life. Learn how to handle negative comments, manage the need for validation, and use social media with purpose. We highlight the importance of boundaries, such as phone-free zones during special events. Tune in to learn how these small changes can lead to more meaningful connections and a more intentional life.
Connect with Palak on IG: @embiria
Check out Palak's Book: Beautiful Everydays: A Guide to Living in the Here and Now
You can watch the full episodes on our Youtube
Youtube - Confessionsofawannabeitgirl
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s TikTok:
@wannabeitgirlpodcast
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s IG:
@confessionsofawannabeitgirl
Can stepping away from screens help you reconnect with yourself and others? This week on we chat with Pollack, author of "Beautiful Every Day: A Guide to Living in the Here and Now".
We explore the pressures of social media and its impact on mental health. Pollack and I discuss strategies like setting designated times for online activities to create a balanced digital life. Learn how to handle negative comments, manage the need for validation, and use social media with purpose. We highlight the importance of boundaries, such as phone-free zones during special events. Tune in to learn how these small changes can lead to more meaningful connections and a more intentional life.
Connect with Palak on IG: @embiria
Check out Palak's Book: Beautiful Everydays: A Guide to Living in the Here and Now
You can watch the full episodes on our Youtube
Youtube - Confessionsofawannabeitgirl
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s TikTok:
@wannabeitgirlpodcast
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s IG:
@confessionsofawannabeitgirl
Welcome back to the podcast, helping you filter out the BS in pursuit of becoming the next it girl. And this week's episode we are talking about one of our favorite topics. It is dealing with social media in this modern crazy world. You know we've talked a lot about compare and despair, and in this episode we are talking about how to really disconnect from the phone or the million other screens we are always inundated with. Pollack is joining me to discuss how we can disconnect so we can reconnect. Let's dive in.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Confessions of a Wannabe it Girl. I'm your host, marley Fregging, and I'm here to help you filter out all the bullshit and become the next it Girl. This podcast explores the reality of what it really takes to make it out there. As it turns out, it is way less Instagrammable than I thought it was going to be. I'm still very much a work in progress, but there's simply nothing else I'd rather be doing than chasing my dreams. So let's learn from my mistakes and work together to achieve our dreams with more confidence, clarity and direction. Let's get after it, hi guys, and welcome back to Confessions of a Wannabe it Girl. Today, I'm joined by Pollack, the author of Beautiful Every Days A Guide to Living in the here and Now and the founder of Embirium. Welcome Pollack, thank you so much for being here, thanks so much for having me, Marley.
Speaker 2:I'm super excited to be here.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited to chit-chat about this idea of we're going to call it disconnect to reconnect. Here we are talking about the constant scroll, the being stuck in the phone attached to our devices, computer TV, our favorite to debunk on here the Instagram, the TikTok. So I'm really excited to dive into this with you.
Speaker 2:I'll sing it's funny that you call it that, because I actually had an event called Disconnect, reconnect one, so very fitting.
Speaker 1:Perfect, we're on, we're synced. So I want to get into this a little bit. Why did this book come to be? I find that people who make these into their missions in life might have had a personal experience that might have not been so glamorous to begin with.
Speaker 2:So if you wouldn't mind telling us a little bit about how we came to where we are, yeah, that's a very good point, because it's often when we have a deep why, and that's why we birth things into the world, because other people probably can resonate with personal stories that we've been on.
Speaker 2:So, for me, a big part of my story was that when I was 15 years old, my dad suddenly passed away of a heart attack, and so, being that young and losing a parent that young, I think that I saw his journey in terms of how he would talk about these, like big dreams and plans that he had for retirement and what he would do with my mom, and how much he wanted to travel and how hard he worked to try to make those dreams happen, and then he never got to reap any of the benefits of it.
Speaker 2:And so, going through that, it subconsciously just embedded this message into my mind that you cannot wait for retirement and for one day to live fully. I think that needing to have those moments in your every day is so important because you truly don't know what tomorrow will bring, and I know that sounds like this, like fluffy message, but at the end of the day, it is only when you experience loss or something tragic that that really resonates with you. So for me, that became a big part of my mission to inspire other people to live fully every day. It's something I do myself, and that's really what kind of pivoted me into this entire business and career I'm in now.
Speaker 1:Well, and you also pivoted a little bit for some very what I would call big girl like big boss, energy jobs. Would you mind telling us a little bit about that Of?
Speaker 2:course, yeah. So I come from a 10-year corporate career background and totally work for great large organizations and big Canadian brands. So I was at Indigo Books and Music, I was at the bank, at Royal Bank of Canada, and most recently I was at the Toronto Film Festival for four years doing all their marketing and communications for the film festival. So definitely had big corporate jobs and while I was there it wasn't that I was dissatisfied, but I always knew that I was meant for something more. So there was a deep sort of voice within me that you know.
Speaker 2:I entered my thirties and I was like you're definitely meant to do more than just this and I didn't want to hop around from organization to organization. So I really needed to reflect and dig deep and as I went through my own personal wellness journey, I started to realize that I wanted to like dabble in experimenting with my own things. And that's really when Imbiria was born, when I started to host events for community and to create connection, and what I thought was just something that I would experiment with turned into my full-time business. So yeah, I've been doing this now for seven years.
Speaker 1:Wow. So what was your relationship with social media when you started shifting into doing these?
Speaker 2:events.
Speaker 2:Well, it's funny because when I first started my business, this was just when Instagram was starting to become really popular, so I actually didn't even have an Instagram account to start with.
Speaker 2:I remember hosting my first event and I put it on sale on a ticketing platform and it sold out, which obviously showed me there was a need for something like this, and so it validated the idea and gave me the momentum I needed.
Speaker 2:But at the same time, I was like, oh, I guess I have to create like an Instagram page and a website and all the things that come with needing to actually create some sort of business from this idea. And so when I created my Instagram, I mean it took off pretty quickly in terms of I was just gaining followers because it was so much easier to grow back then. So it was really nice because it was a space for me to just promote my events and connect with community and get into people's DMMS and all that. But then over time, it evolved and it became something that I use for, just like putting up events to having to turn it into an entire personal brand and showcase so many parts of my life and my business and create videos and all the things that it's now become, which has shifted my relationship so much with social media, and it's a huge part of my messaging in terms of I want people to scroll less and live more. That's kind of my mantra, that.
Speaker 1:I use. Yeah, it's so interesting I can really on so many different levels to having I call it compare and despair scrolling. I have a very up and down relationship with social media. I think I currently love it, but I've realized it started doing something in my mental health or just general health I wasn't aware of until it got pointed out to me and it was like, oh, you're so worried about being seen as foolish or cringy or whatever. And I was like, no, I'm not. And then I really thought for a second. I was like, oh, yeah, I am, and it's because innately over time, we start to care about our presence and our persona online.
Speaker 1:That, like that, can't innately not affect my subconscious along the way.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I mean, it's amazing that you are now reflecting on that and able to be aware of what it's doing to you, because that's the first step. It's like anything just the awareness is the first step. But what's wild about it is that I think it is still relatively new, so we have to give ourselves a little bit of grace at the fact that it's only in recent years, especially post pandemic, has it really taken off to the extent of which it is now where it's such a part of our day to day lives.
Speaker 2:There's so much of ourselves that we show on there. There's so many different formats and ways that we can show up. It's like through video, through still photography, through stories, through reels, through all the things. There's just so many pieces to it and it is more complicated than we think. Like often we're just in it and we're in the loop and it's a bit of a hamster wheel until you have maybe a moment or a few moments, and I would say the moment really comes when you can have a relationship with social media. I'm not saying to like, go escape to a forest and digitally detox, like, if you want to live in today's day and age, you kind of have to be connected. But there's a moment where you might be scrolling and if you leave that doom scroll session feeling more anxious than fulfilled, then there's a problem. And then that's when you have to really recognize what it's doing to you, because I don't know that many people that can scroll for hours and feel good afterwards or better than when they first started.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I mean, I bet you and the funniest thing is, we probably sit there and think well, the person who has a million followers and a million likes, they might feel better, but I bet you they don't. They feel more insecure, they feel more uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I've heard so many celebrities talk about this, celebrities, influencers, people that have large followings and I think this is what we often don't realize. We think it's a numbers game. So it's like, yes, you'll hit a million followers, I'll be great, then I won't care, then I won't look at my comments and I won't, then I won't, yeah. But you know what's funny, is you what happens? And I've heard so many people talk about it. I just heard Robbie talk about this, jay Shetty's wife, and she has 2 million followers and she said she has 99% positive comments.
Speaker 2:But she'll have one comment where someone says something and then she focuses on the one comment and she's like why do our brains do this? Like? And it's natural, it's human behavior. If you're in a room full of people and everyone's so lovely to you, but all of a sudden you encounter someone that's a little bit mean and says something in person, it's going to take you aback and you're going to feel hurt by it. So the same way that might happen in person. That's the feeling that we'll have online. It is very hard to separate the two and just dismiss it as oh, it's a troll, it's a hater, whatever. Move on, it's really vulnerable to show up and then have people critique you online.
Speaker 1:So it doesn't matter the count and the number of followers does not matter, it's human emotion at the end of the day, not only is Instagram TikTok and webpages our portfolios all of this is out online. It has kind of become your digital business card. You are a little bit rated judged. See what you can do by the amount of what you bring to your platform. It is so easy to become obsessed with it and I find myself doing this. I will excuse it. I will say, oh well, I'm working and I'm like I'm not really working, I'm just scrolling at this point, but it's working. So how do we start to deal with this overwhelm?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that you brought that up, because there's a way that we can go about approaching social media where we separate using it for pleasure, for leisure and for business. So one of the ways that I like to look at it is separating the things that we're doing within the apps in different categories. So, for example, there's so much that we're doing we're not just scrolling. There's times we're posting, there's times that we're responding to DMs, there's times we're engaging with comments. There's times we're actually posting. There's times we're creating content or making a reel within the app. So there's different categories. And the way that we can feel good about social media is if we go in with an intention and that's the only thing that we do on the app and we're not diverted to do other things.
Speaker 2:So my tip there is to carve out time within your day for different purposes.
Speaker 2:You're going to want times where you're just mindlessly scrolling and maybe catching up with what people are up to.
Speaker 2:Cool, block out maybe 20 minutes in your day to do that and be like scroll session or like catch up time or let's see what people are up to.
Speaker 2:But then there's going to be times where you might want to be on there for 15 minutes to like post something, so then that's intentional posting time. And then there's going to be times where you want to use the apps to connect with people and like engage with your audience or your community or respond to people, so then there's intentional time for connection. So splitting it out into those different categories gives you the space to do all of it, but not all of it at once, because often we go on the app and we're like, oh, I'm just going to post this thing and all of a sudden we're like 30 minutes in and we're like on some dog video that we don't know why we ended up there. So I think having that intentionality behind it helps us feel better about the way that we're intentionally spending our time versus it's like us owning the app and controlling it, then behavior versus it controlling us.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that. You just said that that's not really a thought I've ever had in regards to your relationship with the app, because you are giving it its time and that's what gives it its power. So we should have intentionality behind that time, because in that case it's becoming your owner. But if you have the intentionality, you become the ownership of your time. Exactly, I'm picking up that, me and you come from a deep place of loving calendars and scheduling and whatnot, which I love. I mean, I chunk out a time for lunch because it just won't happen if not.
Speaker 2:I love an organized schedule, definitely a type A, love all things planning and I'm obsessed with like lists.
Speaker 1:You said it, not me. You're type A and I'm type A. It's so beautiful. But what about? And I'm type A, sometimes I got a P plus personality, I think. But it's all good and dandy for me to sit there and say I'm going to make, oh, this is the intentional time to post, this is the intentional time to source podcast guests, whatever it may be. How do I make myself really commit to that?
Speaker 1:And not then like oh, I'm in the grocery store line, this is the moment to scroll. On one hand, it is because it's not really going to get used, but is that really good for my health? I don't think so.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we've lost the art of being able to do nothing. So that's a big thing in society today and, to be honest, those moments of being in the grocery line or waiting for coffee or going for a walk and not needing to necessarily fill it with things is really essential to our mental health. So we absolutely like that's a whole thing where we need to carve out times to do nothing. Because we're constantly bringing things in, it's very hard for us to show up in a place that feels like restful and at ease, because our mind is just like going a million miles a minute. So the way that I would I would sort of preface this is it because it has to be intentional. We have to be conscious of our behaviors with the app. So, just like anything else is addictive, this is also an addictive thing. So knowing that there needs to be a relationship built with it, where we are being conscious of it, is so important. So, for example, recognizing when you are picking up your phone before you even go to open it or unlock it, like what are you picking up this device for? Is it to respond to attacks? Is it to go onto social media? Because obviously we're just. It's so habitual at this point that we're just like, we have our set apps, that we open, close, open, close, open, close and check.
Speaker 2:But really being intentional about that, that could mean something simple like taking a few deep breaths before we get on our phone. Just like a few deep breaths, remind yourself as to why you're on it and then allow yourself to do the activity and force yourself to be like okay, the boundary's there, I've gone, I've posted, I'm off. Or, oh, I've opened, I've scrolled for 10 minutes. Now I'm done. Set a timer if you need to, if you're not in a line and you're at home and you can set a timer, set a timer. And when that timer goes off, you need to be hard with yourself to say, okay, I'm done. Because the only way that we're going to be able to control our relationships with the apps is if we take control of it, and by doing that we have to enforce the boundaries. No one's going to stop us. These apps are not going to suddenly stop us and be like yeah, you've scrolled enough or you've hit the bottom. It's never going to end. So we have to kind of manage that relationship ourselves.
Speaker 1:I have so many things to say in response. I'm going to go ahead and start with did you know that after a serious amount of time on TikTok, it will tell you maybe you should take a break? No, what's the serious amount of time? It is a serious amount of time because I have only ever seen it once. Oh, wow, okay, not too out, I'm just going to say it to you.
Speaker 1:My future sister-in-law, she tells me she sees it all the time and I'm like I've only seen it once. It must be hours. I remember I think it was Christmas day. After all the hubbub with my family had been done, I hit it and now it was like I've never seen that before. So just fun fact.
Speaker 2:I wonder if it's was it consistent time as in, you didn't close.
Speaker 1:It's definitely consistent time that, because that was the only time that I've done that, but I'm sure I hit that time in smaller breaks. But I want to go back to what we're talking about with the grocery line. I find this very interesting because I had an acting coach also bring this up to me and you know she was talking about how we should watch people, observe people and see interactions and things. And she says but you guys don't do that anymore because you have phones.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I was like what? And now I'm like, oh yeah, she's right. Like that mental reset, recalibration that, like flush of daily doing, has been completely now occupied by the phone and our observation has been taken away because of that.
Speaker 2:A thousand percent. I love that she said that. I mean it's definitely happening. It's kind of called the art of noticing and it's just noticing things in your environment, around you. And I mean I'm married but, honestly, if you're like single in today's day and age, you are really not looking up from your phone and noticing the people around you. So how are you going to connect with somebody in person? You're going to have to end up doing it through an app. Or if you're introduced to a friend, because just those little like chance encounters are so rare these days because of the fact that we're not looking up. And an example I have of this is I spend half my year in Austin, Texas, over the winters because Toronto gets really cold.
Speaker 2:And when I'm in Austin I noticed that when I would go for walks I actually wouldn't take my phone with me because it was just so beautiful where I'd be walking and I'm like I want to enjoy the weather, soak up the sunshine, and I'd be walking my dog and I would just I'd be looking up and I'd be looking around because everything was new to me.
Speaker 2:So I'm like looking at it with fresh eyes and I kid you not, I spoke to like every neighbor that I saw along the way. They would be saying hello, we would stop, we would chat, they would pet my dog. It was the most lovely experience and it felt so wholesome, Like it's something that we don't get in our day to day, and it left me feeling so fulfilled, so connected to other humans. I just felt like I did something good for myself instead of spending that time like scrolling my phone while I'm walking or, you know, like just doing things that I don't really need to be doing, and it just was such a good reminder of like it is simple things that we can do for our wellbeing. It's not complicated. We overcomplicate it, thinking we need to like fix everything, but sometimes it's just like stripping things away and getting back to fundamental human needs of like connecting with other humans that we feel really good.
Speaker 1:Well, in your opinion, in your line of work, how much does that kind of not having the phone on the walk or the grocery store line really help our overall wellness?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I think it's so pivotal, like I don't actually wish that we could all carve out phone free times and what I do is, like with the events that I host and when I bring people together, I try to actually say, hey, you can grab a picture or video at the beginning of the event and maybe at the end, but I'd rather not have you be on your phone throughout because I want you to be fully present to the experience and I know we all want to capture great content. But let's put our phones away, let's try and connect with each other, let's have a conversation and honestly, it's been so magical to witness what unfolds. Like I'll have women talking about life experiences. They're going through and crying at the event and connecting with another woman who might feel the same and then all of a sudden they're friends and they're making plans to go on a walk later and it's like this ripple effect of like, oh, this is what it means to get back to living IRL.
Speaker 2:We're wanting to come back to the real world and see what magic that holds and it's become a rarity and so when it does happen, it's just so beautiful to watch basic human things happen and unfold. So I'm a huge fan of you know. Leave your phone behind when you can, honestly, for safety. Sure, you want to keep it with you, but just leave it behind when you can. It's life-changing.
Speaker 1:to be honest, can we try not to give in into the temptation going back to like we have ownership over these things and they don't have ownership over us? That being said, what are your daily tips and strategies that you do to make sure you're not doing this yourself, and maybe something we can steal and take for ourselves? Yeah?
Speaker 2:for sure. I've worked a lot on creating and crafting daily rituals or routines that allow me to carve this space that I I so much like, teach and inspire others to do so. One of my things is for the morning. We all have morning routines. Um, my morning routine involves not checking my phone at all, so when I wake up I'm not checking it. I'm making sure I'm waking up early enough that like I'm not accountable to responding to things immediately. So I have enough time for the morning things that I value and I love. So for me that includes taking my dog for a walk, having some form of movement, making like my morning smoothie, maybe journaling a bit or meditating, just like having that time. That's usually about an hour and a half worth of things, and I'm doing that all before touching my phone because I truly believe that in the mornings it's just your time before you let all the things in and let all the noise in. It's just a time for your mind to be quiet, let ideas flow, let yourself just like reset and be intentional about how you start your day. So my morning routine is sort of like that non-negotiable.
Speaker 2:When I'm working at my laptop or at my desk, I really try to like kind of what we were talking about. Like we love to be organized and do all the things, so I will try and stay focused on the task at hand. I'll actually use the toggle timer to like track my time and be like okay, now I'm working on emails and I'm going to do that for 30 minutes and I'll set a timer or the Pomodoro technique where you like. Set the timer for 25 minutes so that you're focused and just trying to retrain your brain to be focused on one thing really helps. So having my phone turned upside down so I'm not seeing any notifications put away, and then I'll take a lunch break and that's when I'll like check my phone again if I need to, or check messages or whatever.
Speaker 2:Obviously, like all my notifications are off. I don't allow anything to be coming at me. It's like I'm intentionally going in and checking things and then I sort of unwind after my workday with either like a walk or a stretch session, and then at night it's sort of the same thing Like I make sure I'm putting my phone away or not getting screen time, even like TV time an ample amount of time before I go to bed, cause I I noticed a huge difference. If I've been on a screen like 20 minutes before bed, my mind is racing and it's so much harder for me to fall asleep. So I'll usually just like listen to a sleep meditation and unwind and get cozy and like let my bedroom be a sanctuary so that I'm not stressed when I'm going to bed.
Speaker 1:Right, I'm not going to completely challenge that, but I seem to have the opposite problem. I sleep better if the TV is on. I think it's like an auditory thing I developed as a kid. But I cannot get into the challenge of that because I think I'm the weird one. It might be not great, but it is what it is.
Speaker 2:I actually do know a lot of people that do that, and I mean, I think if it's background noise and it's something that's just soothing to you and you're falling asleep, that's different than like watching like a dramatic show right before bed and feeling like stress, and people think that you know you're watching something so you're tuning out. But your body actually responds to good and bad stress in the same way. It doesn't know the difference. It's still heightened. So there's still things happening inside that are putting you in a heightened state and that's not necessarily like the state that you want before you try to get a good night's sleep Right.
Speaker 1:We would think, but I'm probably the girl watching the dramatic TV. I mean, I have my own theory on it, which I'll just share quickly. Is that maybe it becomes because I am a anxious attachment style anxious girly, whatever it's called that if something is absorbing my attention that much, I'm suddenly removed from the anxieties I feel internally, I'm placing all of my focus on there and somehow that puts me to rest. I'm probably not achieving ultimate relaxation, as you know somebody who can do.
Speaker 2:I'm trying, I'm doing this, I'm just trying trying you know, just try, and obviously this is like, yeah, take it with a grain of salt to each their own, and everyone has their own way of unwinding, resting, relaxing. It's just a matter of figuring out what really works best for you and noticing, like noticing how it makes you feel and just being aware of that right, well, and I love what you say about setting up things on your phone with the timer and whatnot.
Speaker 1:I have the timer on for social media consumption. That's within the iPhone, and when I tell people that I do this, they're always like, oh, I just ignore it.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, yeah, honestly, sometimes I ignore it too. But you know what?
Speaker 1:If it works once. It works once, you know what and it does Sometimes I'll just hit the you know, give me 15 more minutes and then, when I see it, pop again, you know what. So, like it, I'm not losing anything by having it there, even if I ignore it. Six out of 10, you know I I really don't think that's at fault.
Speaker 2:I've definitely ignored it too. I mean, yeah, I have it set for 15 minutes a day and sometimes, like sometimes I'm in the middle of posting a reel, I'm like at an hour and a half, that's fair, that's fair. But yeah, that's why I'm ignoring it, because I'm also unrealistic with the amount of time it sometimes takes, like even for me, to post a reel or do something. Obviously, it's going to take me more time than that, and so I've definitely ignored it. But yeah, just like a little nudge, to be like, hey, okay, you know, like if it's been three hours and you're feeling like crap and you've been word at six times, then obviously it might work. To be like okay, right, shoot, I should get off this.
Speaker 1:Right, if it works once, even for one. 15 minutes less, 10 minutes less, I'm going to let that timer go off, and I love what we. I also have all my notifications off, for you know that will not come to the main screen of my phone. And man, did that stop me from picking it up and just going instantly back into it? Because then it kind of hits that adrenaline rush of ooh, someone likes me and da-da-da-da and likes my post and I'm special. It hits that. But if it doesn't come up, I'm not missing it per se.
Speaker 2:You know, it's funny that you say that, because that feeling sometimes it's like remember when we were kids and shows used to get released every week and it wasn't binge worthy all at once. Sometimes it's nice to be like, okay, I've put up this post and then just leave it and come back to it after a while, to be like, okay, I've like put up this post and then just like leave it and come back to it after a while, to be like, okay, what happened on it? Did people respond? Are there people engaging with it? Like instead of, if you're checking it incessantly, it can actually make you feel really shitty because you might be like oh my God, I put up this thing and like people aren't liking it, but then an hour later it might've taken off. And then it's like, oh wait, it did well. But those initial feelings that it's leaving you with because you're immediately looking for like that dopamine hit. It doesn't always happen. So sometimes it is better to just like ghost it right after you post.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let it be a lovely surprise, let it be a surprise, Exactly.
Speaker 2:And then it's like a culmination of all the things, like oh okay, I actually have like a bunch of comments I can respond to this on Great and I'll do it all at once instead of every three seconds.
Speaker 1:I'm big on the sprints. I'm big on the sprints of responding to emails, texts, dms, notifications, all in one Like. It's like maybe I'm not as good as you, I'll wake up and I'm checking my phone, but then once in the middle of the day, once in the end of the day, and I break it all the time. But those are the two, the three, three biggest chunks and it does really do something. You know, given, I'll be honest, that I'm not a perfect science of having perfect social media, health or mental health. But like, what about for yourself? Like when have you disconnected from social media and seen something like really benefit in?
Speaker 1:your life because you were doing that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's been a few times where I've taken like a full break. I try to do it once over the holidays. I find that that's a great time for most people because you're just obviously people are doing stuff and you're kind of like what is everyone up to? But at the same time, if you're a business and for me, running my business I'm like, okay, it's a bit quieter once it's around Christmas and I can kind of take a step back between Christmas and new year's to say, hey, I'm taking this break for myself, so it might be like a five day break or seven day break.
Speaker 2:Um, I remember one time I went to Europe and it was like a two week trip and I took a break for about an entire week off of it and I was just like this is heavenly. I mean, if you really get over the first day or two of wanting that addiction of just being like wait, what am I checking? I have nothing to check. This is weird. And then I replaced that with reading physical books and going and sitting on a patio in Lisbon and just having the best time and it was obviously so great.
Speaker 2:And what ends up happening is, once you like, quiet your mind and allow that, allow that space to let yourself just be and think and just exist, then you usually come back to things so much more inspired and full of creativity because you're no longer just consuming and letting in all the noise, and then you can come from it at a place where you're like creating versus just like letting everybody else's behavior influence what you're doing. So it was really nice because I've had shifts in my business. Anytime I've taken a break and taken a step back, I often come back with a really significant shift or change in the way I go about my business, because I finally quieted down and let things surface.
Speaker 1:So, when you take this break, are you like deleting social media completely, like off your phone? Okay, great. Perfect. I've never done this, so I'm very curious to dive into this.
Speaker 2:So when you do that, to that point, sometimes deleting the app, like even for a day if you want, like a Sunday, where you're just like like I do think this thing called slow Sundays and I just take sometimes I'll just delete the app for a day and I'll like reinstall it on Monday. But I'm like that way, I'm just not checking it, You're just taking it completely. It's just not a option anymore, and when you remove it as an option, then it just makes that so much easier, and I know so many people who do that.
Speaker 1:I'm just somebody who never has. I mean, my best friends do it all the time. They're very good about it. However, though I've noticed when observing the people in my circle, it's kind of like crash dieting they have this amazing break and then they get back on and they are slammed back into it. How do you start to come back to the apps? Because, I mean, unfortunately, I think it's pretty unrealistic that a lot of people will remain completely off of them. How can we set up those healthy relationships? Post break.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've heard that so many times and it's really funny because it is like you take that break and you come back and you're so in it. I've actually said that I don't know, in its current state, if it is possible to fully have a healthy relationship with social media. Like that is like point blank. I don't know many people who do. I don't know many people who feel good all the time unless they're fully off of it or unless they've hired help on their business to like post and so they can like distance and take a little bit of a break. So I will say that I don't think they're designed for us to have healthy relationships. They're designed for us to constantly be on them.
Speaker 2:So if you are coming back to it, there needs to be like a plan of action. You need to ease yourself back into this space, because it can be so overwhelming and you kind of want to hang on to that little like cocoon feeling as long as you can, because the last thing you want is to come back and then be like oh, I just undid everything from the past week. I was feeling so calm and I've heard this so many times where people come back and they're like I feel like crap. No, I'm so anxious again Like I'm back on and it's awful and what do I do? Because I need it for my business.
Speaker 2:So you do, you need a plan of action. You need to go back in with intention and it's like okay, maybe my first week back looks like posting once this week. I'm not going to be on stories every day or I'm not going to like post every single day. I'm not going to check every day. I'm going to just post once this week and then I'm actually going to delete it for another two days and then I'm going to come back on and it's like you can start to create that relationship where, again, you're dictating it over time versus being in it and then being like sucked into the whole system again. So I think it's important to have that intentionality behind it before you're fully back and in the world of social media.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's interesting, one of the most like successful influencers like I've had on the podcast. She talked about that too, that she really would just get on posts, give her people that she needs to support, support and get off, and I was like, wow, yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2:It's like looking at it in other ways. If you have a business or you have a job, are you going to be sitting at your desk all day, 24 hours a day, and be available all the time for your manager to like email you and talk to you Like no, you don't want to be doing that at like 3am. So why aren't we creating these boundaries with something else? That's just an extension of either our business or our brand, or even personally. I just it's obviously because it's on our phone, it is a 24 hour thing, but then it's a matter of setting those boundaries the same way we would with, like, a physical environment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that being said, you know I think a lot of us are craving being more present. That is the goal from this, like understanding social media, and this disconnect is like how can I become more present, how can I become more focused? How can I get 1% better in the real world, not just online? So can you share with us maybe some like actionable things we can do to get started on being more present in our day-to-days?
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely Well. It's one of the reasons that I wrote Beautiful Every Day is the book, because it's full of activities that you can do to become more present in your day-to-day. It's about romanticizing your life and getting back to the little things that you can infuse in your day to just make it beautiful. And it really comes down to having those traditions or things that you look forward to. I even call them like rituals. For example, one thing that I do that I think you know people really tend to love, and whenever they hear it they're like oh, that's so lovely.
Speaker 2:On Wednesdays I'll like take an hour to take a walk with my husband, We'll walk to a local cafe, grab a croissant, grab a latte, hang out, chat, and we're doing it in the middle of our Wednesday. So it becomes this thing that we look forward to in the middle of the week. It breaks it up, but it's a way of reminding ourselves that we're also here to live our lives and enjoy them, not just work away and feel stressed and anxious and all the things. And so the book is full of activities and offline experiences that you can do to really romanticize your life, and I've also created the Imbiria Social Club, which is all about connecting off of social media and like finding your true community and actually having people that are your go to, where it's not just about like liking their picture or commenting on it. It's like how do you build that authentic connection and then move those connections from online to offline, which I think is so important.
Speaker 1:That is so important. I loved it when I see people do that. Will you give us maybe a little tease of one of your fave activities, maybe in the book, or that you've done in a course or the social group?
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure. So one of the ones that I love is Cafe at Home, which I literally wrote this book, started writing it four years ago and it's funny because I actually saw a TikTok where people were doing this. I'm like, oh, this is funny, it's like catching up. Things are catching up now, where I had this idea a long time ago. But Cafe home is something I did over the pandemic.
Speaker 2:So we would literally turn our living room into a cafe. It would be like you're doing a pour over coffee or like a tea and making it a beautiful experience. So it's little everyday moments that you're turning into an experience where you actually get to savor it and enjoy it. And I kind of call it like the European lifestyle, where we infuse those moments into our day-to-day. So I would have music going. I would maybe put up like a little image of Europe on the TV screen so there's a backdrop, put like a tablecloth on my side table and just pull out my most beautiful mugs and like have little treats on the side, and it would literally feel like a gorgeous cafe inside my house. And there's little ways you can do that. That's not. It doesn't need to to be Pinterest worthy and you don't have to go all out. You can just use the things you have in your home to create this experience, where you just pause and are able to appreciate the small moments of your every day.
Speaker 1:Oh, pollack, I love that. Thank you so much for taking the time talking with us about disconnecting so we can reconnect. I really appreciate it If you could please tell everybody where they can find you find the book and all the good things, oh thanks so much for having me.
Speaker 2:This has been so great. You can find me if you are on Instagram. I'm there. I like to connect mainly in the DM, so if you want to send me a message at Imbiria E-M-B-I-R-I-A, you can find me at Imbiriaca, my website. You can order the book through there. It's also available Beautiful Every Days on Amazon.
Speaker 1:Yay, thank you so much. Thanks. Thank you so much for listening to Confessions of a Wannabe it Girl. Don't forget to rate and subscribe to the show. As always, we'll see you next Tuesday. Bye.