Let's Talk H.A.M.
Let's Talk H.A.M.
Cougars - What are the benefits?
In this week's episode of Let's Talk H.A.M. (Hearts and Minds) we discuss what a cougar is and if there are any benefits! Has dating as a"cougar" become easier or more challenging?
Talking points
- What is a cougar
- Reasons older women date younger men
- Reason younger men date older women
What do you think? We would love the hear from you. Check us out to hear our take and to add your own go to our website at https://www.letstalkham.com or email us at heartsandminds@letstalkham.com
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Welcome to Let's talk ham, and today's topic is cougars. What's the benefit and what's not? I'm trying to near better known as Nina. I'm here.
Unknown Speaker :I'm the fantabulous pet known as Trisha.
Unknown Speaker :And I'm Tiffany.
Unknown Speaker :All right lady dress talking. So we were talking about being a cougar or possibly being a cougar. And so I looked at this article, what's the benefits and what's
Unknown Speaker :not also the mood calm?
Unknown Speaker :That there's nine scientifically proven reasons why women date younger men.
Unknown Speaker :So my first question I like to pose to the group is
Unknown Speaker :Have any of you at any point in time
Unknown Speaker :ever been a cougar?
Unknown Speaker :I'ma fall again. With no
Unknown Speaker :yes or no?
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, okay, you get into the details but you hear I have
Unknown Speaker :okay any other ladies? I have
Unknown Speaker :to this bad. It is a funny story. I never did it again.
Unknown Speaker :But okay. Just you know, I met a gentleman, and he seemed very mature. I knew he was younger. However, I just didn't know he was young. So we we, you know, talked and everything and we finally met and I realized he was younger than he said he was pretty accurately bacon the Burger King.
Unknown Speaker :Okay,
Unknown Speaker :so I don't think there was that there would have been a benefit there. Oh no, it's not Bear
Unknown Speaker :Google for a day
Unknown Speaker :I don't know if that counts Pat
Unknown Speaker :all right Anybody else?
Unknown Speaker :No I don't because I'll usually like older me and so um
Unknown Speaker :I don't I don't
Unknown Speaker :yeah I don't I try not to even date my age I'm married you know and he is exactly my age but honestly, you know I do prefer the older gentleman's and so yeah this is actually my first time dating somebody my age and being with somebody my age which is my actual husband, before that is so you know, oldies, but goodies.
Unknown Speaker :Do you guys think a woman
Unknown Speaker :being a cougar where she What age do you think she's at what she's looking for? We're open, not even looking open to dating someone at least 10 years younger than hotel. We're normally 10 years. That is when you become a cougar if you're 10 years older. I know but I'm saying what age normally is the woman when she's open to dating younger?
Unknown Speaker :early or late 30s.
Unknown Speaker :Early? Yeah, early or late 30s. Now, wow. I've always thought it was when you were maybe in your your late 40s, early 50s.
Unknown Speaker :Early 40s even in their early 40s. So
Unknown Speaker :you know, so let me get this straight. A Cougar is somebody that is in their 30s and they may date somebody that's a 20.
Unknown Speaker :Nowadays, like
Unknown Speaker :crazy create, or let's say you dated someone that was 25
Unknown Speaker :Mm hmm. In a person is hypothetically 35 or 40.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, okay.
Unknown Speaker :If I'm 40 and he's 25 Yes.
Unknown Speaker :Even though Oh, that's that's just don't seem natural to me, but okay.
Unknown Speaker :I'm thinking 50 and over and using somebody in their 30s or in their 20s like, for instance, Madonna. Madonna is what 60 and her boyfriend is in his early to middle 20s So this time,
Unknown Speaker :you are considered a cougar.
Unknown Speaker :I remember reading a story article of a woman, a man and wife.
Unknown Speaker :He was in his 20s
Unknown Speaker :The woman
Unknown Speaker :was considered a cougar. She was in her 40s he was in his early 20s. She was in her 40s and she was called a cougar, even though they were married, you know? She's considered a cougar. Oh, I see.
Unknown Speaker :Okay,
Unknown Speaker :okay. Well, it used to be it
Unknown Speaker :used to be a time any time.
Unknown Speaker :The woman was older in the man. And he's about five years or more, not just up to 10. But five or more. Yeah, they work of Cougar. I mean, you know, I was raised by a cougar. My mom and dad are
Unknown Speaker :epitome of Cougar. My mom
Unknown Speaker :is seven years older than my father.
Unknown Speaker :Anyway, all right, ladies. So back to the scientific, scientifically proven reasons supposedly, why wouldn't they want to date younger men? Okay. They claim that you're likely to experience more success in your career or as a professional. So do you think that's true? I posed this question to Tiffany.
Unknown Speaker :Wow. Actually, I've never heard that before and then actually sounds interesting and it could possibly be true. I mean, if you depending on what arena you're in. Maybe you know, it would make you look younger, especially maybe if you're in a type of industry where your appearance is very important. That could be But yeah, I've never heard of that. So that's interesting
Unknown Speaker :that you have more vitality.
Unknown Speaker :Like you say, You're not just your appearance, but I guess your spirit is more useful ideas maybe more youthful. So, you know, not only that you're not worried about, I guess some of the trappings that you're worried about when you're dating someone your exact age. Right, Nina, you're up next. says, Do you think the question is do you think it could be better fertility rates? When you're a cougar dating a younger man?
Unknown Speaker :Yeah.
Unknown Speaker :Honestly, I do. I guess you could say I was like, almost near
Unknown Speaker :five years older than my ex husband. But
Unknown Speaker :I would say you know, because every time I turned around, I was frightening.
Unknown Speaker :Well, that you were
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, if any of the bigger fertility rates, you know, um, you know, of course the man is younger So, you know, his stuff is poppin and yeah, you may get you might get pregnant. That's true. That's true.
Unknown Speaker :Honestly, I have to piggyback on that. I have to piggyback on that too and say, yeah, that that is one of them. No, I'm not.
Unknown Speaker :Okay, moving on.
Unknown Speaker :You know, I was told, hey,
Unknown Speaker :if you know what you're doing, you know what you're doing, you know.
Unknown Speaker :Okay,
Unknown Speaker :I posed this
Unknown Speaker :question, but it is I'm gonna say this though. Sorry to cut you off. I am going to say this just like it is for a younger woman to have better chances of getting pregnant because her Eggs are younger and more vital. You know, it's the same with demand sperm. So the younger he is, you know, it is going to be a better chance for you to get pregnant. You know, because his sperm is younger and let's just face it. So it goes both ways. Right? Okay. Is a
Unknown Speaker :you'll probably be in your home or
Unknown Speaker :they claim that
Unknown Speaker :women tend to like the controls. I pose this question here. Do you think control in general as a young older woman would like younger men?
Unknown Speaker :Well, not necessarily. I think that you know, a lot of times
Unknown Speaker :younger men make older women feel
Unknown Speaker :prettier, you get more compliment, you feel vibrant, you know, you hang out more. You do a lot of things. I think that a lot of times you lose your
Unknown Speaker :most weight because you're out enjoying life.
Unknown Speaker :Know I don't think there's so much about control sometimes. You know, women, that is a period where you feel Do you know what I'm saying? If you can understand what I'm talking about, you know, you feel like, you know,
Unknown Speaker :I understand because
Unknown Speaker :that's how I felt. I didn't feel, you know, I'm
Unknown Speaker :10 years older than my ex,
Unknown Speaker :I feel, you know, a lot more vibrant and you know,
Unknown Speaker :all the compliments
Unknown Speaker :in the beginning because, you know, you don't look 40 You don't look 41 you know, so it
Unknown Speaker :didn't make me feel good.
Unknown Speaker :So I do understand.
Unknown Speaker :Okay, Pat, I'm gonna
Unknown Speaker :pose the same question to you. Do you think they are saying no, but do you feel like it's a control thing,
Unknown Speaker :that women will feel more
Unknown Speaker :in control if they are older?
Unknown Speaker :Man, I don't. I absolutely don't. And I say that because at the end of the day, you know, she's still a woman. And we as women, we'd like it times for our men to take control. Have faith. You know what I'm saying, especially when you are a woman of great success. And you may be running things at the office running your own stuff, and you're in control all day, and you want to come home and you don't want that control anymore. You will show man to take the lead. So I don't think control has anything to do with it. I think it's all about, you know, feeling younger, and doing things differently. You know, and and let's face it, he has the stamina and strong back.
Unknown Speaker :How did I know that you were going to be the one to say that
Unknown Speaker :garbage time, because it goes to
Unknown Speaker :my next point. He says simply that
Unknown Speaker :you know, they last longer.
Unknown Speaker :According to prevention magazine. 25% of women say stannum energy is a reason. So here's the question have you have any Have you who have dated yoga me? found that to be true? And the second part of that question is, do you feel that the younger guys know less or more about how to touch you? Yeah, I think I think they do. I think they do. I think it's, I've never really dated, older older guys. So the guys have either been very close to my age or under my age, so, but they do know how they do know how to ask for me to touch me.
Unknown Speaker :Yes, ma'am. Okay.
Unknown Speaker :The article also cites it says there looks younger guys are hot and 37%. They found older What a good looking guy. So my question to you is, why is it that older women are we going to shallow or are there actual reason reasons behind? Why we just want the hot guy who happens to be
Unknown Speaker :so shallow? Okay,
Unknown Speaker :I do have one point in my life, I really, really matter how to me.
Unknown Speaker :I don't need to have bad teeth. Okay. So for me, I think we are shallow in the way, you know, women I know. Not all women are shallow, but there are some of us who are out there. Okay.
Unknown Speaker :Okay, Kevin, I'm calling to you which thing?
Unknown Speaker :If that's the reason why younger, older women younger men. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're hot and the stamina to me those would be the only two reasons I would have to date a younger man stamina first. And look second.
Unknown Speaker :There's gonna be eyes on me.
Unknown Speaker :I mean, I could like
Unknown Speaker :him, he could be nice and smart and all that. But if you if you
Unknown Speaker :if you are
Unknown Speaker :if you are seeking
Unknown Speaker :a younger man on purpose, that would be the absolute two reasons why I would be seeking purpose. Now, if I just so happened to meet someone and he happened to be younger, that is different. But for me, I am usually attracted to the older person, so I wouldn't probably even be looking at the young man.
Unknown Speaker :Okay. Okay. Well, now I'm going to
Unknown Speaker :study off of that the relationships tend to last longer, some of them even reaching the two year mark or
Unknown Speaker :Perfect. So what are your thoughts?
Unknown Speaker :And I'm okay with studies. I could see
Unknown Speaker :it lasting a little longer, because the newness is going to be a little longer because it is a cougar could relationships that, you know, the excitement is gonna last a little longer on both ends, you know what I'm saying? So I could see why they would say, you know, it lasts a little longer, but I have to go back to as far as the look and and and and seeking out these younger men. For the most part, I don't think a lot of women are seeking out these younger men. Right? There are a lot of young men that are into older women, and they hope the women are still because
Unknown Speaker :I have I have been
Unknown Speaker :approached by a lot of young men and I'm talking about men in their 20s and I'm much older than that. You know what I'm saying? So I don't see A lot of women seeking younger men, although there are not. But for the most part, these younger men are seeking the older women. Right, man advise the left is
Unknown Speaker :concerned.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, you got some some young ones. But let me tell you, baby, I just saw some men in their 50s that are following, you know, and so I don't think it really has a lot to do with look, for the most part. Yeah, it's the stamina. Yeah, that cows are like, you know, they women. Yeah. And like she said, you know, the younger man speak out, you know, older women. And my thing is, is that too, you know, I've never I've never sought out so be what younger men, but I think, you know, only by the grace of God, I thank them because I don't look my age and I'm short. And I'm compact. So when the guy really finds out, my age is like, Oh my god, you know, I'm saying so you know, when I I was with my ex at the time. He didn't he didn't he thought I was like about 26 or 27. And so my thing is that not I think I was 40
Unknown Speaker :getting ready to turn, I think I was
Unknown Speaker :getting ready to turn 41 I think it was 40 or 41 or whatever. And so when he realized how old I was when he asked
Unknown Speaker :me, and he said,
Unknown Speaker :You don't look forward, you look like you're 26 or 27 I said, I wouldn't be 26 was that what all these kids are get? So I'm really 41 so he was like, Can I please see your ID? And I'm like, No, you can't. I'm 40 years old. And so, you know, it was like, when I met his family, they were like, You don't look like you look like a little kid. But you know, and I think that's that that was a tunneling. So that really, like, you know, Hey, I got this 4041 year old, like she bought 2025 you know, so Yeah, and I think they, once they find that out, too, that's that's a ton
Unknown Speaker :on in itself,
Unknown Speaker :but they do speak out. to women, they just I think they still like when a woman is older.
Unknown Speaker :And she and she might be able to cook them a meal and wash them some clothes and stuff to
Unknown Speaker :a video game.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker :No, they look for that too. Not only are they do they considered ogres but they're also considered sugar Mama,
Unknown Speaker :sugar mamas.
Unknown Speaker :Mm hmm.
Unknown Speaker :Well, in a journal of psychology, they actually say that me and just a plain old satisfaction. younger men claim
Unknown Speaker :that older women
Unknown Speaker :have more confidence, as well as it's sexy in a tunnel into them, that these women are not all what they call a baby chase or looking for a husband. And so they enjoy the relationship that was
Unknown Speaker :yeah I could
Unknown Speaker :see that being married.
Unknown Speaker :Yes. No pressure, responsibility or accountability so that they offer that. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah. I agree
Unknown Speaker :with that.
Unknown Speaker :Because Yeah, like you said, I mean, I would be more fun to if I didn't have to worry about children. Yeah, yes. If I didn't have those things, if they're older, a lot of times their children are adults already. Or they might have taken the path where they didn't have children. They're more settled into their career, their finances are in a different place. Like you said, they're not on the baby chase to have children a lot of times so yeah, they're gonna be more fun.
Unknown Speaker :Right, right.
Unknown Speaker :You don't have to worry about
Unknown Speaker :the rabbit dad.
Unknown Speaker :They say over they know about the rabbit.
Unknown Speaker :I'll be deleting.
Unknown Speaker :Okay,
Unknown Speaker :what about this? younger man claims that they love older women because they're just not even as kinky.
Unknown Speaker :As younger women are, yeah.
Unknown Speaker :Don't have time to be clean because they are established in their career. They aren't doing things like traveling, you know?
Unknown Speaker :You got to catch up. Exactly.
Unknown Speaker :Sometimes when we get older, you just don't want to be bothered. You want to be bothered when you do like it. Right, right. Right. Right.
Unknown Speaker :Right. And no, you cannot have a key. Right? Right.
Unknown Speaker :Right. Okay.
Unknown Speaker :Now the last thing As as you all have been saying they claim that the article last database older women tend to be more carefree and again that carefreeness is more attracted to
Unknown Speaker :the younger me.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, yeah I agree. I agree.
Unknown Speaker :I mean after like you can't free because like you said the key is has gone on.
Unknown Speaker :I got my in my pocket.
Unknown Speaker :I might even live by myself. So I got to worry about all the phones getting
Unknown Speaker :all the nerves.
Unknown Speaker :Right. You say
Unknown Speaker :that I can actually hang from the chandelier without being good about the kids coming home
Unknown Speaker :on the table
Unknown Speaker :like a stroll back factor.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, definitely. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker :We definitely so we definitely know who would be the crew Cougar out of this Yeah
Unknown Speaker :Yeah. All right ladies, Ron
Unknown Speaker :is a benefit
Unknown Speaker :I mean, I say it's a benefit it's a benefit it's a benefit
Unknown Speaker :for a lot of reasons
Unknown Speaker :the strong back
Unknown Speaker :I mean hanging out more
Unknown Speaker :chillin with each other. I mean, I'm saying he you don't really have to worry about, you know the
Unknown Speaker :cleaners and things like that
Unknown Speaker :it's a benefit
Unknown Speaker :especially when you don't have a full body
Unknown Speaker :come out of something, you know, a relationship that was wacky To get compliments and things like that, the one thing I do about younger men they compliment, you know, over women because a lot of other men do go after older women. I think, you know, that's a benefit. You know, the drawback is, you know, if they're too clunky, you know, Now, the problem is I'm not. I
Unknown Speaker :want to thank you. All right.
Unknown Speaker :Um, yeah, I would say it would be a benefit
Unknown Speaker :for somebody. Absolutely. For all the reasons that were stated. Now, is it going to be a long term benefit? I don't know. And maybe the woman don't even want it to be a long term benefit, but I could definitely see what the attraction or draw to date in a younger man is absolutely.
Unknown Speaker :All right, Trisha, is definitely a benefit. And, and one of the main reasons why outside of the ones stated is you get to learn new things. You know, because as we grow older, we get out of touch with the younger people and what's going on in their community, so to speak. And and same with the younger guy, he gets to learn and experience some things that you've never learned and experienced before is known. They can learn from each other. They can't they have, they're able to have different experiences, because of the age difference. I'm actually seeing too, you know, in this time, you know, there are a lot of younger men marrying older women, and they're staying married. You know, I do know some people I don't know the person, but I do know of some people who have a man who married at the age of 2627, and his wife was 30. But you know, and they're still going strong and they have children and he loves
Unknown Speaker :her to death. So
Unknown Speaker :yeah, it's becoming a real thing. Is No, I think I think in the future, it won't be called a cougar cub relationship. It'll just be a relationship, you know, because it is more prevalent in you know, and, and it is more young men speaking out older women and and shockingly it's more older women that's
Unknown Speaker :open to it,
Unknown Speaker :you know used to be you you always see an older gentleman with a younger woman and and most women didn't agree with that less known dating a younger man than pills. You know what I'm saying? Well, in the future it'll that'll change
Unknown Speaker :well I think that's why they've become more acceptable to it because a lot of older men were dating and marrying younger women so then their, their dating pool had to be expanded, they had to find somebody. I mean, if I'm saying no to you just because you're young, and these men over here don't want to date me because they're dating younger women. Women, they're not, they're not gonna be alone, you know, so maybe I do need to open up my horizon and look into dating somebody younger and being getting to actually know them because just because they're younger don't mean that they're not mature enough to be rhyno. So you have to just be a little more open. So yeah, absolutely. And I think it stemmed from the fact that older men were dating younger women and so you you felt like you had to try to open up your dating pool.
Unknown Speaker :All right, ladies,
Unknown Speaker :when it was a great episode, ladies.
Unknown Speaker :Since our hearts and minds are just a little bit clear
Unknown Speaker :on this subject.
Unknown Speaker :It's time to bid you farewell.
Unknown Speaker :And please join us next week, same time, same place for more hearts and minds. Come check us out on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and as always,
Unknown Speaker :w w w.
Unknown Speaker :Let's talk ham calm, as well as our private Facebook. Let's talk to them. Please like and subscribe. And we also love to hear your feedback and comments at this time in general. Section stuff at
Unknown Speaker :hazard mind and Miss talking calm.
Unknown Speaker :Thanks for listening. Be blessed. Stay safe