The Sacred Role of Fathers: Embracing God-Given Leadership and Love

Imagine growing up without a father, only to find father figures in grandfathers, uncles, and older brothers who step up to fill that role. This episode is a heartfelt tribute to all the men who choose to become fathers, whether biologically or through the bonds of love and guidance. We'll reflect on my personal journey and discuss the biblical significance of male leadership in the family, drawing wisdom from the parable of the prodigal son to illustrate God's unwavering love and commitment as the ultimate father.

We also delve into the vital roles both mothers and fathers play in the biblical model of parenting. Father's Day isn't just about giving Dad a tie; it's about recognizing the profound influence of a father's faith on the spiritual life of the entire household. You'll hear compelling statistics that reveal why dads need to take an active role in leading their families spiritually and how this leadership impacts the health of the church. It's a call to men everywhere to step up and embrace their God-given responsibilities for the spiritual well-being of their homes.

Have you ever struggled to see God as a loving father because of a strained relationship with your earthly dad? This episode addresses that struggle, using the parable of the prodigal son as a powerful reminder of forgiveness and grace. We'll share personal stories that underscore the transformative power of returning to God's embrace, overcoming fear and struggle, and accepting His boundless love. Join us for a moving conversation about the sacred role of fathers and the extraordinary love that awaits us all.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:04

and the reason I say that is because the idea of being a dad is a lot more and I think Cody kind of talked about it it's a lot more than biological. There's a lot of men who fulfill the role of a father-type figure in people's lives. I grew up with a single home and a single-parent home, and my mom was phenomenal, but I had an incredible grandfather who lived next door who filled that role. I had an incredible uncle who filled that role for me. I have an older brother who I didn't like when he was younger, but he's filled that role Even now, as I've gotten older, I've just learned to appreciate that. So, just to any man in this room who's ever filled that role, thank you. Like I said, being a dad biologically is easy, being a father the choice, and so if you made that choice, and for those of you that don't have kids yet, I hope and I pray that God blesses you. For those of you who might be struggling to have children, I pray that God protects you and comforts you. For those that have experienced loss as fathers, I pray for you. I've been there. I get it. So being a dad is so much more than just biological, and so what we're going to talk about this morning is going to be focused on that, and we're actually going to attack this from two angles. So the first 15 minutes or so of the message, moms, I'm just going to encourage you to sit back, relax, maybe look at your husband and remind him to pay attention.

Speaker 1: 2:42

Men that are in this room, I hope and I pray that I challenge you greatly. My goal is not to offend or to step on toes, but from a biblical standpoint, male leadership in the home is significant and it's how it's supposed to be. God has designed it that way. He has created men to lead their home, to lead their families, and I hope this morning you are challenged to do so. The last part of this we're going to talk about the greatest father that's ever existed and that we found through God. We're going to talk about the parable of the prodigal son and how it shows us that, even if you've had a not-so-great father on earth, you have a phenomenal father in heaven who has always done everything he needed to do to get to you and will continue to be that father for you. So with that, we're just going to take a minute and I'm going to ask you to pray, and then I'll pray and we'll get started.

Speaker 1: 4:09

God, we thank you so much for this day. We thank you so much for who you are, the fact that you love us the way that you do, the fact that you continue to show us mercy and grace, and the fact that you just continue to to just watch over us, god, and protect us. And I pray, as always, that you protect the words that are coming out of my mouth, that they're not of me and they're always of you, god. If there's something I don't need to say, I pray that I just listen well enough to not God. Thank you for who you are, Thank you for what you do, thank you for being the greatest father we've ever had. God, we love you. Thank you, son, the greatest father we've ever had. God, we love you. Thank you, son. Let me pray Amen.

Speaker 1: 4:53

Like I said before, I dive too far into this. I do not want to in any way undervalue the role of the mom in the home. I know that we live in a world that is chaotic. The family unit is all but broken anymore. In our culture, it's almost readily accepted that it has to be that way. By the way and this is just some statistics. A lot of times we talk about how the brokenness in homes and we can easily say well, those people aren't Christians. Well, I can tell you from a statistics standpoint, the brokenness in homes, in a Christian home and a non-Christian home are almost identical in numbers. Because we, for whatever reason, have lost the value of a mother and a father raising a child. And I say that and once again I'm not undermining moms. I was raised by a single mother. I am the man that I am because of my mom. I would not be here today had it not been for her. I think it's incredible, but there is something biblically that is missing when a man is not in the home leading like he's supposed to. And we see this all throughout Scripture. We see it in the way that Cody was talking about some of the fathers we see in the Bible. There is an understanding in Scripture that a home is comprised of a mother and a father who are raising children together. The mother is tasked with the one who is the compassionate, the nurturing.

Speaker 1: 6:32

A lot of people say that's the feminine role, and I'm not undermining it, but there's also the male side of it. The man is the one who leads. He's the one who helps guide his family. Recently there was the kicker for the Cincinnati or the Kansas City Chiefs I don't like them, by the way, but they beat the Eagles too many times but he had, you know, did a commencement speech and talking about the value of his wife being a stay-at-home mom and the fact that he was, you know, obviously he was, he played football but, but he went on at length about, obviously, he played football, but he went on at length about, biblically, how him and his wife had attuned to this model and that it was working for them. And what's interesting to me is the internet blew him up. They tried to ruin his good name simply because they acted as if the things that he said undermined his wife. And if you pay attention to what he's saying, it didn't. He simply was stating what we know to be true in Scripture that a mom fills a different role parenting a child in a home and a father fills a different role. God created us to work together, to be equals. None is superior, but the man is the head of the household. That's how the Bible describes it, because the man is responsible for leading his family.

Speaker 1: 8:00

At the end of my life. I will have to answer for several things, and one of them, I believe, is whether or not I led my family to follow Jesus in the way that they're supposed to. One of the reasons culture is so screwed up is because we undervalue the significance of dad in the home. Not just that, but men. And this is where it gets tough, and I'm not sorry and I hope you're offended, and I hope this makes you squirm a little bit. There's a lot of us who are not fulfilling the biblical roles we have been called to. We're slackers at best. We allow our wife to lead our prayer time in our homes. We allow our wife to be the one who helps our kids get to church. We don't go to events, we don't participate, we don't do leadership in the church, but we expect our wife to take our kids, but we don't do it because we find ourselves too busy. And I'm telling you, from a biblical standpoint, this is not how it's supposed to be.

Speaker 1: 9:10

One of the earmarkers of a healthy church is actually connected to how many men are serving in the church on a regular basis, leading their families to do so. Here's some facts that I found were interesting. A survey was done several years ago, so these are factors into stats. Here's what's really striking. So when you see the research on the impact of a dad's faith and practice on their families, according to the data collected by promise keepers in the Baptist Press, if a father does not go to church, even if his wife does, only one child in 50 will become a regular worshiper. If a father goes regularly, regardless of what the mother does not connected to mom, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will attend church as adults. If a father attends church irregularly, between half and two-thirds of their kids will attend church with some regularity as adults. If a mother does not go to church but a father does, a minimum of two-thirds of their children will end up attending church. In contrast, if a father does not go to church but the mother does, on average two-thirds of their children will not attend church.

Speaker 1: 10:41

Another study focused on Sunday school found similar results on the impact of fathers when both parents attend Bible study in addition to the Sunday service and we're going to kind of modify that, because I think Bible study isn't just Sunday morning, I think that we have our community groups which are all part of that. So 72% of their children attend Sunday school when they're grown. When only the father attends Sunday school, 55% of the children attend when grown. When only the mother attends Sunday school, only 15% of their children attend when grown. When neither parent attends Sunday school, only 6% of the children attend when grown. Another survey found that if a child is the first person in their household to become a Christian, there's a 3.5% chance that everyone in the household will follow. If the mother is the first to become a Christian, there's a 93% chance that everyone in the household will follow. Do not underestimate, dads, how important your faith is, not only for you, but how you model it for your children 93% of households that have a father who comes to Jesus first 93% there's a chance the rest of the house will follow, because biblically we understand that men are called to lead their homes, especially in matters of faith.

Speaker 1: 12:38

Joshua 24, 14 through 15 says this now fear the lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates rivers in Egypt and serve the Lord. But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living, and Joshua says this, but me and my household serve the Lord. Deuteronomy 6, 6-9 says these commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them to your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates. Ephesians 6.4. Fathers, do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. It is so crucial, men. It is so crucial, men, it is so crucial that you are leading your family in faith the numbers don't lie that when you have a strong father with a strong presence, who has a strong faith, that the household that he is in charge of will follow suit.

Speaker 1: 14:16

We live in a culture, we live in a time in our world where I think we have undervalued the significance of the father in the home. We've made a mockery of it, we act like it doesn't matter. Once again, I am in no way trying to bash the single moms at all, because there's so much power there. Being a single parent in any form or fashion is difficult, but as society as large, we champion the single mom. We champion the single mom and we make mockery of people who are trying to uphold the traditional values of marriage as a mother and a father in a home. We make fun of people like the kicker who's talking about how it's important for him and the fact that he's trying to raise his kids, and him and his wife are a team and we make fun of them. And yet we sit there and we champion everything else and we wonder why society as a whole is falling apart because we've walked away biblically from what we should be doing as believers.

Speaker 1: 15:37

God has a plan. He laid it out very specifically. He challenged men to leave their homes. He challenged women to follow their wives or to follow their husbands. He challenged men to love their wives as Christ loved the church. He challenges men to not exasperate your children but to teach them the ways and the things that they need to know. And we see this has broken down all over the world and we cannot fathom for a second why in the world the family unit is falling apart and it's because we're not living up to it biblically, and I'm going to and this is once again I'm going to put a lot of weight here on men.

Speaker 1: 16:25

I don't know your situation. I'm not going to act like I do. I don't know why you might not have contact with your kids. Maybe it's your choice, maybe it's not, but I can tell you that there should be something in you as a man, especially a man of God, who is asking yourself almost daily, if not every day, you should really be doing it. Am I leading my family in the way that God has called me to lead them? Am I showing them what matters? Am I showing them that having faith is important? Am I showing them that being part of a church is significant? Am I helping them develop a community of believers, even as young kids? Am I protecting my wife? Am I watching out for my wife? Am I protecting her own faith? Am I praying for her? Am I constantly asking God to lead me so I can lead them? And if the answer to any of those questions is no, then you should stop and ask yourself why am I not doing what God has called me to do?

Speaker 1: 17:39

I have three boys. They're crazy. I love them. We just got back from vacation.

Speaker 1: 17:49

If you've ever been on vacation with kids, it's not really a vacation, especially when they're younger. Miles got sick on day one yeah Listen, he was good, he was just hacking up a lung, I think. But the entire time we're on vacation, the one thing that I noticed and I think that I've been noticing it more my wife probably doesn't like this fact of my boys growing up when my boys were younger they were like really attached to my wife, like if you would take any of them away from Danny, they would fight you, like they would cry and they would have this huge meltdown. And I remember when we first had kids that, like when they were a baby, they were like really attached to danny and I'm like, hey, that's cool, like I had this. I'm just saying I had this fear of like little kids. Man, like I'm a big guy and like I was all thought like I'm break them and then they're crying and they can't tell you why and I'm like I don't know what's going on at this point. And so, like little kids. By the way, if you ever like, bring your little kid around me and you try to get me to hold it, and I don't. Don't take it personal. It's not you, it's not even your kid, it's me. I promise right, just me. And babies Like Danny looks at babies and she's like, oh anymore. But when they were younger they were really attached to Danny and as they've gotten older they've become more and more drawn to me.

Speaker 1: 19:26

My three boys ask me a lot of questions. They have this natural guidance I think that's instilled in them that they look to me as the one who's leading the family, and so they start to come to me with things. And I don't have daughters, so I don't know if that's the same way or not. I'm assuming that maybe that does happen, but I'm in a time in my life where everything that I do in front of my kids matters. I've learned this, sometimes the hard way, but that's how God created me to be as a male. In my household, there's an expectation on me that I'm supposed to lead my family in the ways that God is calling me to lead them. So being part of a church to us is a valuable part of our life, and it is for them, spending time in prayer, whether for ourselves or for other people, showing them the compassion and mercy that God shows me when they make mistakes and when they mess up, continuing to do everything I can to help them realize that the single greatest thing, the single greatest thing that I can offer my kids, is a relationship with Christ.

Speaker 1: 21:14

All the money in the world will never change that, everett, you know, because kids don't understand money, everett, all the entire vacation he's like I can't wait till I'm older and I can buy a Tesla truck. And I was like, okay, he's like they're so cool. I'm like, yeah, whatever. He's like, well, that's like $100,000. He's like I'll be fine. And I'm like I don't know what you plan on doing for a living, but I hope you are right and and so in my mind it's funny. But when my, when he turns 16 and he goes and tries and buys a tesla truck it's probably not going to happen as a good dad I'm going to have to say, hey, how about we buy this Honda Civic instead? That's going to run for the next 30 years.

Speaker 1: 22:03

And listen, that's what I love about kids is they have these kind of crazy ideas and I hope my kids end up with a Tesla for their sake. I don't want to be in it, but just for them. I hope they do, but my job as their dad is to kind of help ground them a little bit in reality, right? Because when I was growing up, one of the things that I always heard and this is just from different voices in my life was you've got to grow up, you've got to get a job, you've got to make a ton of money, you've got to be be really successful. You got to sit at the top of a food chain. You have to make sure. Someone said to me this one you know, you've accomplished success in life when you have the ability to hire and fire people. I'm like well, technically you're not wrong. And let me tell you, I've been in those positions and they're just awful. Right. But the one thing that I should be good at yes, I want my kids to be successful. Yes, I want my kids to be able to buy a cyber truck at some point in their life. Yes, I want them to accomplish everything that they want to accomplish. But there's two things that I need to instill in them. One is I need to instill in them One is I need to instill in them that a relationship with Christ is the most important thing they will ever have, no matter what. And two to be great men who leave their homes in faith. That is what I want for them, and if I succeed in those two things, I feel like I've been successful Men.

Speaker 1: 23:56

We are called to lead our homes. They learn it from us. If you undervalue church, so will they. If you undervalue prayer time, so will they. If all you do is sit around and complain about how bad the situation is at the current church you're part of, so will they. They listen, they pay attention. We are supposed to show them what it means to follow God. We are supposed to show them what it means to live sacrificially. We are supposed to show them what it means to live sacrificially. We are supposed to show them what it means to lead as men of honor and integrity. And if they don't see it from us, then who else will give it to them? So, before we step into the second part of this, I'm going to ask all the men in the room a question. I'm going to ask all the men in the room a question, and it's simple If you're not leading your home, then who is? I think that's part of the problem in the world today. There's not enough men leading their home biblically. Instead, we allow everything else but us to be the ones, the voice that our families need. So let's step to the second part of this.

Speaker 1: 25:33

I grew up with my dad not being around. When I first came to faith, the hardest thing in the world for me was to see God as my father, because the only father that I ever knew wasn't so. To call God Dad or to refer to Him in any form or fashion of that always put a weird burden in me, because I assumed that the God of all creation was going to be exactly like the earthly father that I had known. And it's through great comfort, it's through tons of experience and through lots of wisdom that has been shared with me, that I can tell you that the God of all creation is nothing like the dad that you know. He's so much better. Luke 15, verses 1-32. I know I've preached on this before.

Speaker 1: 26:47

So now the tax collectors and the sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus, but the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered this man welcomes sinners and eats with them. Then Jesus told them this parable suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn't he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it. And when he finds it he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and he goes home and he calls his friends and neighbors together and says rejoice with me, I have found my lost sheep. I tell you that in the same way, there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 righteous persons who do not need to repent. Or suppose a woman has 10 silver coins and loses one, doesn't she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it. And when she finds it she calls her friends and neighbors together and says rejoice with me, I have found my lost coin. In the same way, I tell you there is rejoicing in the presence. Jesus continues my share of the estate. So he divided his property between them.

Speaker 1: 28:10

Not long after that the younger son got together all that he had set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth with wild living. After he spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country. He had to be in need. So he went and he hired himself out to a citizen of that country to send him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses he said how many of my father's hired servants have food to spare and here I am starving to death. I will set out and go back to my father and say to him Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called. So he got up, went to his father While he was still a long way off. His father saw him and was filled with compassion for him. He ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. The father said to his servants Quick, bring the best robe and put it on him, put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet, bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate, for the son of mine was dead and is alive again. He's alive again. He was lost and he is found. So they begin to celebrate.

Speaker 1: 29:38

The rest of the text talks about the other brother who stayed and this kind of reluctance that his brother came home. I love the story of the prodigal son who stayed in this kind of reluctance that his brother came home. I love the story of the prodigal son. I read something yesterday that I thought was really neat. It was just kind of a thing on Facebook and it talks about how the prodigal son spends all of this time kind of prepping himself for the return.

Speaker 1: 30:05

Right, what am I going to say? What am I going to say? What am I going to do If I can just say Dad, listen, I'm sorry, I messed up. Can you just make me a hired servant? And I can imagine prior to this moment, that he's probably gone over this speech in his head over and over. You ever done that? You have to give like an important speech and you've got to practice it because you don't want to sound like a fool. And as he's running home, his father sees him and before this young man can utter a sentence out of his mouth, his dad embraces him, hugs him and then he starts the first part of the speech and in mid-sentence his dad's like stop, get the ring, get the sandals, get the calf, let's party. My son who was lost has been found.

Speaker 1: 31:01

You know, when I was a younger believer. When I read this story I always really thought the importance of the story was the response of the prodigal son, because I related to him, right. I mean, I had wandered away from God, I wasn't living the way that I was supposed to, and I came to my senses and I found my way back home. But as I've gotten older I've realized the story has always been about the dad, his reaction to the son. You know the beginning context is important, right? So at the beginning of this parable, before Jesus even starts, the Pharisees are complaining he eats with tax collectors and sinners and Jesus is like okay, let me tell you a story, let me show you why you misunderstand not only who I am, but the God you tell everyone about. And in this account we see it is the father's response to the broken son, the prodigal son, the one who had walked away. It's his response of grace, love and mercy that changed his entire life, so much so that when you read the last part of it, the son who is there is a little upset because he doesn't understand just how important this moment is.

Speaker 1: 32:39

I told you I grew up without a dad and I had some incredible father figures in my life, men, that I owe so much to. There's so many different people that have shown me how to be a father, but none of them ever showed me more than God did. My understanding of God as my Father has helped me realize what it means to be a father to my children, because in my brokenness, in my shame, in my rebellion, the God of all creation said Welcome home, welcome home, welcome home. There are some who are listening to this message today, there are some who are probably going to listen to it later, and I know, I know the state of the church sometimes is crazy, and that's like every church.

Speaker 1: 33:55

I spent a lot of my life listening to people that have been hurt by churches and let me tell you, church hurt is real man. We do a lot of damage sometimes. We do a lot of damage sometimes, and I don't think we mean to, not always, but I can tell you, as someone who didn't start coming to church until I was about 15 years old, there's a reason I stayed away from it. I'd heard the rumors, I'd heard the conversations. When I first became a believer, like my first three years, I was a believer. I was the most self-righteous person I'd ever met. Like if I could go back now and talk to myself, I'd probably slap myself and be like what is wrong with you? And once again I meant, well, right, because I really did, because my life was changing and I wanted other people's too. But I was so judgmental and so abrasive that in the first couple years of my life I brought no one to Jesus. And I look back now and I'm like, well, yeah, that's why. Because sometimes we mean well and I believe that we come across harsh. And so there are people that have walked away from the church. They've walked away from God, they've given whatever reason to not. But here's the thing, and here's something I believe with every ounce of my being At our core, we're rebellious children.

Speaker 1: 35:22

We always run. I have a two-year-old that proves that every day. I don't know where he learned it from Probably me, probably his older brother but at our nature we're rebellious. God knew that. God's not surprised by our rebellion. He's not overwhelmed by it. He's not overwhelmed by it. He's disappointed, but not so much in us as he's disappointed in the fact that he has so much to offer us and we keep running from him. We took our inheritance and we went and we spent it on lavish living and we find ourselves standing in the middle of a pig field wishing just for the food that they have in their mouth, and the entire time, god's sitting there on the porch saying please, just come home. So I don't know what's stopping you. I don't know what fear you have. I don't know what you struggle with. But just come home. Come home. It'll change your life when you realize how much God loves you and how much he has for you and how much he has sacrificed for you. Come home, we're waiting for you. Alright, let's pray.