MEN ALIVE: Jim Cunningham & Paul Estabrooks' Podcast
Programs to help men become transformed to the image (character) of Jesus Christ.
MEN ALIVE: Jim Cunningham & Paul Estabrooks' Podcast
MEN ALIVE - 230 - Living With a Proverbs 31 Woman
Discover the profound journey of marriage and the character of a truly noble partner as Dr. Jim Cunningham, expert in adult education and director of Go Teach Global, joins us to delve into the essence of a Proverbs 31 woman. Celebrating Mother's Day, we reflect on the maternal figures that shape our lives and the remarkable qualities that define a godly woman. Dr. Cunningham presents an intriguing framework of the four stages of marriage—from the passion-filled beginnings to the twilight years of patient companionship. This conversation promises to illuminate the virtues and commitment required to share a life with an exemplary partner.
Welcome to Men Alive, a biblical journey to help us conform to the image of Jesus Christ. I'm your host. Paul Estabrooks, our teacher, is my longtime friend, dr Jim Cunningham, consultant in adult education, director of Go Teach Global and author of the book Men Alive. Director of Go Teach Global and author of the book Men Alive, jim. More than 40 countries follow a tradition of observing what is called Mother's Day on the second Sunday in the month of May. The founder of the idea was Anna Jarvis of Philadelphia, who originated the day to honor her late mother back in 1907. Her intent was that folks would go to church with their mother, have dinner together and then write her a letter of appreciation. It caught on and in 1914, it was proclaimed a national holiday by US President Woodrow Wilson.
Speaker 2:Pablo, like you, I was blessed with a godly mother and a virtuous wife who became a wise mother to our children and grandchildren. But you and I were recently challenged with this question what character qualities would a man have to possess to live with what the Bible calls a Proverbs 31 woman? Now, for our new listeners' benefit, that's, a woman who lives according to the character qualities described in the book of Proverbs, chapter 31. Let me suggest what I will call four stages of marriage. Some call marriage a journey, but marriage is more than a journey. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. Healthy marriages go through four stages. Go through four stages.
Speaker 2:For example, when a man and woman get married and become husband and wife, they usually begin as passionate lovers. No children, good health, lots of energy Wow, this is great. Let's call these early years of marriage the romantic stage. But along comes your first child, as God intended, from marriage, whether natural born or by adoption. We now enter the second stage. Husbands and wives become parenting partners. Life has changed forever. As a married couple, we are now responsible for protecting, nurturing and training each of our children to grow like Christ did, in wisdom, stature and favor with God and man. Together, we find ways to live within a budget and to stay out of debt, to make every dollar count as our family grows from one to two or even more children. Let's call this the resourceful stage. Next, in what feels like a flash of time, our children begin moving out of the home for a variety of reasons Work, education, travel, missions or marriage. As husband and wife, we now move into stage three. We become perpetual friends. We share common pleasures as husband and wife. With increased free time we can focus on grandparenting, community service, hobbies, travel and redeeming opportunities for missions and helping others. Let's call this the resolute stage of marriage. Then, as a married couple ages, often after retirement, they move into stage four. In this phase, both husbands and wives learn new skills to be patient companions, skills to help meet the spouse's declining physical, emotional or even spiritual needs. We could call it the reduction stage.
Speaker 2:John's Gospel, chapter 21, verse 18, says I tell you the truth. When you were young, you were able to do as you liked. You dressed yourself and went wherever you wanted to go. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands and others will dress you and take you where you don't want to go. Medical people like to say as people age, they are beginning to decline or dwindle age, they are beginning to decline or dwindle. To live with a Proverbs 31 woman means we as men must be willing to grow through each of the four stages of marriage with the wife of our youth. Proverbs 31 describes a wife of noble character. Listen as Paul reads the chapter from the New Living Translation, with a few added comments I will interject.
Speaker 1:Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.
Speaker 2:Pablo, like many husbands, you and I realize how blessed we are to have found a virtuous and capable wife.
Speaker 1:Her husband can trust her and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
Speaker 2:We can trust our wife 100%. She loves us and wants good for her man not harm.
Speaker 1:She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant's ship bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day's work for her servant girls.
Speaker 2:This could be called the parenting partner stage. The amount of energy a woman puts into raising children can make a man's head spin in amazement.
Speaker 1:She goes to inspect a field and buys it With her earnings. She plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable. Her lamp burns late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.
Speaker 2:Many a mother and wife has discovered a skill or gift that generates income for the family. Rather than feel threatened, a wise husband encourages his wife in her areas of giftedness.
Speaker 1:She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
Speaker 2:We acknowledge that women in many regions today do not do the exact same skills outlined here in Proverbs 31, but many have similar responsibilities that they do fulfill.
Speaker 1:Her husband is well known at the city gates where he sits with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. This.
Speaker 2:Proverbs 31 gal is definitely not lazy.
Speaker 1:Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her. There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive and beauty does not last, but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.
Speaker 2:One of the greatest tributes a man can give his wife Mother's Day or any time is to say Many women have done excellently, but you surpassed them all.
Speaker 1:You are listening to Men Alive, with Dr Jim Cunningham from the ministry Go Teach Global. Today we are discussing the character qualities a man would have to possess to live with what is called a Proverbs 31 woman.
Speaker 2:I received a valuable lesson from my mother when I was a single man considering marriage. Lesson from my mother when I was a single man considering marriage. She said find a girl with whom you share as many common interests, values and faith commitments as possible. Try to enjoy similar free time, hobbies, sports, music, books, travel, political views. The fact that you are a man and she is a woman will be enough to cause you two to be attracted to each other. Husbands, once you have found a wife like that, never, ever, lose her to a betrayal of trust. A Proverbs 31 woman wants a husband who exercises humility and respects his wife's wisdom and contributions. That means more than just saying yes, dear, and then ignoring her contributions.
Speaker 1:That means more than just saying yes, dear, and then ignoring her. Women do want their husband to be a spiritual leader in the family and a biblical role model of a godly husband and father to their children.
Speaker 2:Pablo, when I was a newly married man and had two young sons, one of my friends was a single police officer. He asked me this challenging question Jim, when you go home after traveling and teaching for many days, who?
Speaker 1:do you?
Speaker 2:greet first when you walk through the door. I answered well, usually my boys run and hug me first and then I kiss Rita Wrong, what do you mean? Wrong, rita is to be the first in line for a hug. The boys need to know that Rita is number one in your life. They must respect her and obey her in your absence, because she is more important to you than they are. Rather challenging advice from a single man. He's now married and has three daughters, and his wife is still number one in his eyes. Three daughters and his wife is still number one in his eyes. He has lived successfully with a Proverbs 31 wife for over 45 years.
Speaker 2:Marriage men is a covenant, a lifelong covenant, for better or for worse, regardless of whether at the passionate lover's stage, called the romantic stage, or at parenting partners the resourceful stage, or perpetual friends in the resolute stage, or patient companions in the reduction stage.
Speaker 1:Jim, I can say that for my bride Diane, it was essential that I, as her husband, shared the same faith system and lifestyle values. She believes, as I do, that a strong spiritual foundation is crucial for a marriage to thrive and survive. Wives and mothers want men who respect their opinions and engage together in decision-making.
Speaker 2:Humility is paramount. As one author said, a man married to a Proverbs 31 woman should recognize that he is a part of a partnership and not seek to dominate or control. He should be humble enough to acknowledge his own shortcomings and to learn from his wife's wisdom and strengths. Mutual respect and humility are foundational for a harmonious and fulfilling marriage. Let's be personal for a moment here, pablo. You and I are over the normal marriage meter in the length of time we've been married. Currently, you and Diane are approaching 59 years. Rita and I are heading for 57. We both view our marriages as a partnership where we contribute our unique strengths to the well-being of our family. While our wives may take on certain tasks traditionally associated with the Proverbs 31 woman, such as managing our household and engaging in charitable work, you and I are equally involved in supporting our wife and sharing the load. We communicate openly about our goals and priorities and we make decisions together based on mutual respect and consideration. That's what has allowed us to live successfully with our Proverbs 31 wife.
Speaker 1:So what advice can we offer to men seeking to cultivate the qualities necessary to be married to a Proverbs 31 woman?
Speaker 2:Each of us need to focus on developing the fruit of the Spirit in our life. No marriage is divorce-proof, at any age or any stage. The Bible says that when we confess with our mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord and believe in our hearts that God has raised Him from the dead, we will be saved from our life of selfish individualism. Now I call that S-I-N and we'll be filled with God's Holy Spirit. Here's how the Holy Spirit helps us live with a Proverbs 31 woman. The Holy Spirit produces the kind of character qualities in us that makes us an attractive husband to a Proverbs 31 woman at each stage, because the Holy Spirit produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. A husband who exhibits those character qualities to his wife will inevitably have a marriage that lasts a long time. Wives find it easier to love a husband who evidences those nine character qualities.
Speaker 1:Some husbands have a loving, supportive, gifted wife, yet they constantly find fault with her, even in public. We, as men, should be proud of our Proverbs 31 woman, celebrating her successes and praising her virtuous character qualities, especially in public.
Speaker 2:honestly, though, and without flattery, let's examine our own lives and relationships. Think of the Proverbs 31 women in your life. Then consider how you can live in harmonious relationships with these virtuous women. To God be the glory.
Speaker 1:Amen. There you have it, men. May the scriptures encourage us to be supportive of the woman in our life on Mother's Day and every day. Contact Dr Jim at menaliveintogod at gmailcom and to hear more Men Alive programs. Visit our website at goteachglobalcom. Until next time, I'm Paul Estabrooks with Dr Jim Cunningham, encouraging you to be men alive, filled with God's Spirit and becoming more and more like His Son Jesus.
