What happens when relentless suffering makes you feel forsaken by God? In this deeply moving episode, we explore Kristen's poignant journey through severe health issues. Despite enduring constant pain, Kristen's unwavering commitment to praise God amidst her trials offers a compelling testament to the power of faith. She opens up about her battles with doubt and despair, reminding us that even in the depths of suffering, there's room for gratitude and hope for eventual healing.
Drawing inspiration from the biblical story of Job, we delve into how hardships can lead to a profound intimacy with God. This episode emphasizes shifting our perspective to recognize and be grateful for even the smallest blessings, and to understand that challenges do not negate God's promise or presence. We also discuss the enemy's tactics and encourage listeners to stay steadfast in their faith, surrendering their struggles to God for both physical and emotional healing. Concluding with a heartfelt prayer, this episode aims to renew your strength and belief that through God's power, any obstacle can be overcome. Tune in and share this message of hope with those who need it most.
What happens when relentless suffering makes you feel forsaken by God? In this deeply moving episode, we explore Kristen's poignant journey through severe health issues. Despite enduring constant pain, Kristen's unwavering commitment to praise God amidst her trials offers a compelling testament to the power of faith. She opens up about her battles with doubt and despair, reminding us that even in the depths of suffering, there's room for gratitude and hope for eventual healing.
Drawing inspiration from the biblical story of Job, we delve into how hardships can lead to a profound intimacy with God. This episode emphasizes shifting our perspective to recognize and be grateful for even the smallest blessings, and to understand that challenges do not negate God's promise or presence. We also discuss the enemy's tactics and encourage listeners to stay steadfast in their faith, surrendering their struggles to God for both physical and emotional healing. Concluding with a heartfelt prayer, this episode aims to renew your strength and belief that through God's power, any obstacle can be overcome. Tune in and share this message of hope with those who need it most.
All right, welcome to another edition of the Jordan and Kristen Rickards show. Today's topic why has God forsaken me? And this is for anybody who's gone through a situation where you feel like you're praying and you're believing for a miracle and, for whatever reason, you just keep suffering and it seems like you're just talking to the wall or talking to the ceiling at night, laying in bed and nothing seems to be happening. Well, if that's you, this message is for you, because this is going to be from our lovely Kristen here, who's going to share her own what we're going to call in-progress testimony.
Speaker 1:
In other words, we're still waiting for the completion of the miracle, but we're still in progress. All right so before we do that, Kristen, why don't you pray for everybody?
Speaker 2:
Well, thank you, lord. I just pray that this message today encourages myself included and those listening, lord, that there may be questions, that we have, god, but we don't get hung up on that. We get hung up on the fact that you care about us and we hold tight to your promises, and how there is hope for a future, and that you care about us right now and that our future and our present joy starts now, lord. So I pray that over all of us, anyone who's listening, lord and beyond, in Jesus' name, amen.
Speaker 1:
Amen, all right, so I already introduced the topic. Kristen, why don't you just tell us what's been going on in your life the last six months and how you're dealing with it?
Speaker 2:
I love that you said it's a testimony in progress.
Speaker 1:
That's what it is.
Speaker 2:
You know, we thought about sharing this after the testimony was finally, you know, done and the health my health was 100%. But I think there's more power in praising God while I'm still going through this and sharing that at this moment, about six months ago, I have always been a very healthy person, just very active, very, very healthy. Praise God. About six months ago, I went and got a test from an allergist where they put these patches chemical patches on your back to see what you are allergic to, and they put 108 things on my back, which I'm told by everyone is too many to do, and for 48 hours that was on my back and taken off. Long story short, we don't know this to be true, but all I know, putting the pieces together, I was totally, 100% healthy and after that happened, so many things happened in my body, health wise. I just started burning all over my body and it wouldn't stop. I felt like I had a fever 24-7 and that went on for quite a while, over months, and I got on a steroid and I felt like that still wasn't working. At the same time this was happening, I started developing all this pressure in my head like intense I'm not talking just a little. It's really hard to describe, but lots of weird feelings and pressures in the head that are just really hard to concentrate on anything else, to be quite honest. So, praise God, the burning went away after over a month on a steroid and getting off of that and the adjustment Praise God for the victory there. The pressure in the head increased and increased and increased. Went and saw a neurologist and this and that and the other and I'm in the process of physical therapy, which has helped me greatly. But I will tell you, you know this all started, like Jordan said, like six months ago.
Speaker 2:
I'm still going through every day. I praise God for the little improvements. I see little improvements, but I want to tell you it's the cynic in me wants to say the flesh part of me oh, my gosh, when is this ever going to end right? And every day, oh, I've had my moments of just total.
Speaker 2:
You know the enemy tries to come in with that doubt and despair and just all the lies, because I pray for the healing every day and you know the pain and when it gets really bad. But I have reshifted and really focused on praising God through this storm and praising him and raising up a hallelujah and saying God, there is purpose in this pain, and I know it's not forever. And even while I'm going through it, I'm not going to wait till it's over to praise you. I feel like that's so key not waiting till it's over to believe, but even while you're in the midst of something like this to praise him. And I feel like I'm at that place, finally, where I'm praising God while I'm going through this and I'm getting to a deeper place of intimacy with him and I know he has something very special in the midst of this.
Speaker 1:
I think you're underselling just how painful this has been for you. I mean, I remember, you know, some really bad moments in there, um coming, uh being on the airplane to Florida. That one time, um, when you know you, you thought you were going to have a seizure. You were in that much pain and and and that much pressure in your head. I remember, uh, separate, a separate trip. We were um, the first day we were at Disney World that one time and I thought I was going to have to take you to like emergency services or something. I mean there was just. There have just been so many days.
Speaker 1:
Even you know, the last week, you told me, whatever day it was, you had some performance that day and you said you were in more pain than you've ever been in your entire life. And one of the things about you is that you tend to it's funny you minimize your pain until it becomes just intolerable or until it just it's just like the most obvious thing in the world. And then you know, you realize it's how much pain you've been in, but you've been, just, you know, in constant pain, you know, for six months, and I think this was an important, it's an important thing to discuss. Why has God forsaken me? Remember that's that title, where I got that from. That's from Jesus. He's hanging on the cross and Jesus says why has God forsaken me? And so you know, if Jesus says that, it's very natural for us to say the same thing why am I going through this? And it's not just the causality of it like what have I done to cause this? That's not just the causality of it, like what have I done to cause this? That's not what I mean, but more like you have made a certain promise, as God. You say, for example, if any two of us are in agreement, that it'll be done for us on earth as it's done in heaven. And you and I have stood in prayer and agreed that you'd be healed of this, and the healing hasn't really manifested itself. I mean, you've had better days. You seem improved, but you seem improved. But you know there have been. Like I said, just this past week you had the worst day you've ever had. So you know the why is not just why is this happening, but why, god, haven't you stopped it?
Speaker 1:
And I thought it was important to do this message because you know it's very easy to turn on someone like Osteen and I love him. Or you go to church and you hear people's testimonies about how they've been healed and they're praising God then and that's great. But I think it's also important for people to say, look, you know, you got to praise God even when you're not healed yet. And this is what it looks like when you're going through it, and it's not the easiest thing in the world. It is difficult and you are going to suffer, but you still have to. You have to remain in your faith. The worst thing you can do right, it's exactly what the enemy wants. The worst thing you can do is, at this point, abandon your faith. So then the enemy gets the glory out of it. And then, and then you're you're completely hopeless at that point.
Speaker 2:
And I'm in just to be real. I mean, I've, like you said, never stopped being out of pain. I'm in pain right now as I smile through it. And, in fact, just a little moment of humor, before we got on, I hit my leg on the coffee table. It's a black and blue and I got. I got some ice on it, so I said it as a joke. Well, I guess this is the way that God wants to take my um, the coffee table definitely won that round.
Speaker 1:
Just looking at your toe now.
Speaker 2:
So that's, it didn't even hit my toe, it's on my leg, um, but, but you know, uh, but that's just my point is that you got it. You got to laugh. You have to laugh through it. You know, every day I read healing scriptures and before I was going through this I always thought, oh, that's wonderful that God heals, and. But when it's something real to you, when you have to go through it, it really really becomes. You know, you get to a deeper place in your walk.
Speaker 2:
That and I and I choose to look at it that way and I have days, have had days that I definitely have hit low points and just been human. And I, I, you know God does not look at you and say, oh, you doubted, or oh, you cried or oh you, you know he does not dismiss us. He just wants to hold us in our pain. And whether that's a physical pain or whether it's something you're going through with grief or loss or you know any sort of suffering, that I think the biggest thing is to know that there is a purpose in it and that God will deliver you and his promise is true. And just keep reading, like I read scripture every day, healing scripture and all of that and I've really experienced a deeper place with him and a deeper joy, in a bizarre sense, than I could have otherwise.
Speaker 2:
And so you know, don't give up. Hope, Don't. That's the biggest thing is that our minds are the battlefield right, and so the physical aspect is one thing, but for me it's been more of the emotional aspect of like, oh my gosh, is this ever going to end? And getting my emotions and getting my heart in the right place and knowing beyond what I feel physically, getting alone with God and getting that settled and just saying God, I surrender, I surrender it all to you. Getting in that place has been so beneficial, because that's the only thing you can do is get in that place and say, god, I don't understand why this is happening, but I trust you and I've gotten to that place and I have to say it's a great place to be. You know, one of the, I think, the worst things that place, and I have to say it's a great place to be.
Speaker 1:
You know one of the, I think, the worst things that happens, and I understand the reason, the value behind it. But you know you try to mimic what someone else has done, who received their healing. And so you know Joel Osteen tells a story when his mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, how she decided well, she was just going to go pray for other people who are terminally ill or who have sicknesses. And then you know this was 30 years ago and she was cured and she still lives. And you think, okay, that's a ticket, then If I just do what Joel Osteen's mother did, then I'll get the same healing.
Speaker 1:
Or, minister Derek Prince, you know he would talk about how well you're supposed to take medicine three times a day. So he received his healing by reading the word of God three times a day with food, right, you know, breakfast, lunch and dinner. That's how you take medicine, so that's how he was taking the Bible. And you might think, okay, well, then that's the ticket right there. That's what I have to do. Look, it's not about like there's a certain spell, you know, there's not like a certain formula for doing this you mentioned God has a purpose. He probably has an infinite number of purposes. You may never even know them. But if I had to kind of, you know, pick out one word of advice from the Bible, it would be from the book of Job, which is just a hard book to read, man. I mean, you know, the book of Job starts basically with God handing Job over to Satan to pretty much do whatever he wanted. And Satan not only takes everything material from him, he kills his wife and children and everybody, everybody dies. And at the end of Job, god gives Job a new wife and more kids and everything like that. And you say, well, that's great, but the other ones are also still dead. So it's not like replacing a car that was totaled. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:
But what is it that Job says in the midst of all of this? He says, though, my Redeemer slay me, yet I know that he lives, and it's even though I'm going through the worst hell. That is even something beyond what I can imagine. Yet I know he still lives. And if I had to say, you know, the commonality in any healing, the commonality in any miracle, whether it's physical or financial or whatever, is the perseverance to say the thing I'm going through doesn't refute God, it doesn't refute his promises for me? Okay, that, even though I'm going through this, yet I know he lives. Yet I know he has a plan for me. Yet I know he hasn't forgotten about me. Yet I know he is still real, and yet he is, even when he feels the most distant. Now he is even more real to me than ever.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I really believe that there's this special intimacy that God has reserved for you if you're going through something. I know God doesn't play favorites and that's not what I mean, but it's a reshifting of instead of saying, why are you putting me through this? Whether it's a physical thing like this or something else, yeah, but instead it's like God is bringing you to a special place and he has something special just for you, and I know that sounds really bizarre to be happy about. But what is that verse about? Consider it pure joy when you go through trials. I always didn't. You know that wasn't one of my favorite verses.
Speaker 2:
But it is true, you have to take that attitude because you have no other alternative first of all, take that attitude because you have no other alternative first of all. But it's God wants to bring you to that place of just total surrender. And you know, I think that's the thing. I think again, the physical is one aspect, but it's really the emotional. I've experienced emotional places that I felt just so I'm a Christian and God why? And then reframing that and saying no, I know that you have me.
Speaker 2:
And there's things that I'm grateful for now that I never thought I was always grateful. I was always grateful kind of person, but really a new level of gratitude. I remember that one day you were talking about the trip that I experienced some difficulties and I remember one day feeling like I couldn't even get food down and thank God that passed pretty quickly but I am grateful. That taught me to be grateful for every bite of food. I remember eating that later that day when I could get food down, like oh my gosh, I've never been so grateful for every bite of food, I've never been so grateful. So there's like every little step of the way. I mean, you know there's been little things that have happened and big things, and they've caused me to be so grateful. I'm grateful when I feel one part of my head or something that's not hurting, or something that's not burning. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful for what God has and it's concentrating on that.
Speaker 1:
You know it's sometimes you mentioned hard to know God's purpose in this, but it's not very difficult ever to know the enemy's purpose in this right. What is it the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. And what is it in Job? See, you and I talked about how it's important never to give the enemy the microphone right. Never let him take the microphone and speak through your mouth. But what is it in Job that the enemy keeps wanting Job to say? Keep saying curse God and die.
Speaker 1:
Curse God and curse God can mean a lot of different things. It could simply just mean you know what? I give up on this. I give up on God. You know he doesn't. You know the plans I thought he had for me. He doesn't have. It could be anything like that. But if you know that that's the plan that the enemy has for you, then it's a lot easier, I think, to rebuke it and say no, I'm just going to double down on this. I'm going to do the opposite of cursing God. I'm going to go deeper into my faith, deeper into the intimacy.
Speaker 1:
I love what you said, by the way, about how you feel like there's a special relationship with God. I kind of think of it as like sort of a family that has multiple children but one is sick or something. You know who gets all the attention? It's the one who needs it at that moment and you know it's kind of a weird thing to think well, god allows me to be sick, how could God love me? And I don't pretend to understand that. I think one of the mistakes we make is we sometimes try to understand too many things and other people try to explain too many things. This isn't about explaining it. This isn't about understanding what you're going through. What you're going through is individual to you. That's right. That's between you and God, okay. This is simply about understanding that this is not something that refutes a Christian life. The Bible says that in this life, you know, we will have troubles Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers them from all.
Speaker 1:
So the point of this message isn't to give you sort of a magic potion and, you know, just read these Bible verses and you'll be healed. There are plenty of good ones about healing. You know, one of my favorites death and life is in the power of the tongue. That's in Proverbs, okay, and that goes back to what we were saying. But this isn't about that. Yes, stay in the word. Yes, pray for other people. You know, yes, absolutely what Kristen said. You so, yes, absolutely what Kristen said. Double down and just get closer and more intimate with God. But, more important than that, understand that if you're going through something, even when you don't see the end, when you're going through something, it doesn't mean that God doesn't exist. It doesn't mean that God doesn't care about you anymore. It doesn't even have to mean anything at that moment. It's just something that you have to go through, and that's the time when you really have to just lean into your faith instead of reject what you're going through as evidence that your faith is misplaced.
Speaker 2:
That's what I'm trying to say and if I was kind of a run on sentence, I really feel like if you're going through, you know the physical or emotional and you need healing. Just open the Bible app and type in the word healing and all the scripture verses that'll pop up that have to do with healing. I've always read them, but it hits you different when you're going through it. It really hits you different and you start to see things that you never saw before in there and just the way God cares for you and the way he loves you. And you have a testimony. You have a powerful testimony and that's the thing is that God hasn't forsaken you. He'll never leave you and he's experienced suffering, you know. Think about all the suffering he went through for us.
Speaker 1:
My final thought on that just build off of that. You know, the Bible says surely Christ bore our sicknesses and our infirmities on the cross, and the cross is what he used to overcome everything. So he didn't just bear sicknesses and infirmities, he overcame them. And don't forget what happens when he's on the cross he dies and he actually descends into hell. And when you're going through something like this, it's like we're in our own personal hell. But Jesus rose from the dead, he rose from hell, he defeated hell.
Speaker 1:
And the same way, even though you can't see it sometimes and maybe even the outcome isn't what you want, maybe you pray for a loved one and that loved one doesn't recover and it's hard to understand how that's consistent with God's will. And all I can say to encourage you is you don't always have to understand it, but you do have to do if you want to get through it. If you want to prosper, is you just have to do. If you want to get through it, if you want to prosper, is you just have to double down with God and use that time to get even closer rather than further away. Any final thoughts, beautiful woman.
Speaker 2:
You can't do it on your own. You are a stunning woman, by the way, thank you. You are not hard to look at, thank you. You can't do it on your own strength. It's God's strength. You know, if I think about, for me, my personal, like Jordan said, everybody has a story. So if I think about my personal, we're not here to compare like, oh well, maybe you have something that's worse or whatever. For me it's been the hardest thing I've gone through in my life. But I think about it and I'm like well, how am I going through this? Because I'm not going through it alone, I'm not doing it on my own strength, I can't. You have to give it up to God. You just say here, help me, I just need you to come in. You don't try to do it on your own strength. Don't try to take this on your own. Don't try to prove that you're tough and you know God wants to take it for you, and that has to do with everything, not just physical healing.
Speaker 1:
By the way, if you see this bruise on Kristen's arm here, this isn't from me, like grabbing her.
Speaker 2:
Look at this you are just yeah, I just kind of have things that just happen. I told you ever since you know it's just for six months, just wacko little things here and there. That's a side note.
Speaker 1:
Anyway, all right, sweetie, you want to just pray for everybody here?
Speaker 2:
Yes, well, lord, we thank you that your power works best in our weakness, god, there is hope, there is joy, there is a special place that you have not forsaken us and, in fact, if we are going through something right now that you are bringing us to this beautiful, there's a purpose in the pain and there's beauty for the ashes and there is something that you have for us. There is hope, god. That's what we need, lord. We need your hope, we need you, god. We can't do it alone, we can't do it at all, but in you we can conquer. You have already conquered death. You have conquered sickness, lord, and you've conquered all things. They've trampled them under your foot. So, god, we honor you, we praise you and we pray and I do pray for total healing for anyone who's suffering, complete healing mentally, physically and emotionally. In Jesus' name, amen.
Speaker 1:
All right guys. Thanks for joining us. I hope this has been a blessing to you. You know we don't really promote ourselves enough, but if you got something out of this video and you're still watching 20 minutes into it and according to our data you're probably not but if you are, go ahead and just share this video with anybody who you think might need it and who might be encouraged by it.
