Episode 206: Breaking Barriers: Male Teachers' Impact in Early Childcare with Christian Muraira

In this episode, Kate and Carrie welcome Christian Muraira, director of an early childcare center, to the show! Christian shares his inspiring journey in the early childcare field, offering a unique perspective as a male teacher. He talks about starting out as a volunteer and working his way up to director, as well as what it’s like working alongside family members. 

The conversation explores the importance of strong communication and leadership, and why having more men in childcare matters. Christian also discusses the value of professional development and gives us a sneak peek into his exciting plans for the future—including center accreditation and the possibility of opening a Montessori school.

Check out his center's Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/ECCHarlingen

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Transcript

Marie 00:00:01  Welcome to child care conversations with Kate and Carrie.

Kate 00:00:05  All right, so this week we are so excited because we have a special guest. And we're going to talk about some things that a one might not be terribly comfortable. So we're going to have one of those difficult conversations that you might have to have with parents. And we're going to talk about what it's like to work with family. And if this is your first time joining us, you may not know that Carrie and I are cousins, and we have actually managed to somehow work together, for over the last 20 years, we were raised by entrepreneurs. We are raising the next generation. So we're really excited about all of that. And, Christian, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and how you ended up in early childcare leadership?

Christian 00:00:49  So my name is Christian Morita, the director of early Childcare Center of San Benito. I've been doing this for about ten years. I'm 25 now. and when I first started my mom, I actually got a daycare in Harlingen.

Christian 00:01:05  and I was a volunteer, with the after school class. We had a brand new teacher, and she was having difficult difficulty controlling the class. So then they put me in there to try to, like, talk to the boys because they were the ones who were, like, more, I guess, out there. and ever since then, I was an after school teacher for a couple of years, I, I started helping out the director in the front, watching on the classes, learning all the minimum standards. And then when we got to San Benito, my mom pretty much just told me that you're always there. I think I'm going to try you out as a director, and it's been a little over a year now, and honestly, it's been a lot of fun. a little stressful at times, but for the most part, I really enjoyed it. Watching the kids grow, I think it's a lot different than being in the class, but it's really rewarding.

Carrie 00:01:57  So. So I want to rewind just a little bit to say how we met Christian.

Carrie 00:02:03  so we were, presenting at a conference down in his part of the state, and we were just doing our normal spiel. And Christian was like, I listened to your podcast. Which was the first time that it ever happened in the middle of one of our trainings. And so we were like, we've got to keep in contact with him and get to know him. and I just love the fact that you're not afraid to, even in a training setting, say what you need to say to get additional information, like you are an information sponge. You're out there trying to get new information, and make your program better. And I just think that's great.

Christian 00:02:51  Now that that first year, I was freaking out because I guess as a director by myself, I was like, okay, what am I going to do? I know what to do to like, like you, my center open, but how are we going to make it better? So I was looking for everything, and that's when I stumbled upon the podcast, and I was listening to it for like a month straight every morning, every time I would go somewhere.

Christian 00:03:12  And it really helped.

Carrie 00:03:15  Well, good. I'm glad we could help a little bit. So, if you're listening to the podcast and you're like, hey, I might have a story, reach out to us, we'd love to have you on, and make you feel a little bit at home and welcome, because we all know more than we think we do. and it's what's called unconscious competence. So you know how to do stuff because you've been around the school and the culture that your mom helped to create for ten years, it's a matter of how do you convey that to your new hires and to your parents and stuff like that. You've got unconscious competence. It was very clear that you knew what you were doing that first day we met you.

Christian 00:04:00  Thank you. Yeah, I think over this last year I started like growing more confidence in it. because in the beginning I was like, no, no, I don't know. I was calling her for everything, but now it's more like, okay, let's let's see what's happening and just keep moving forward.

Kate 00:04:19  Well, I have a I've got a question. Okay. So you mentioned that you actually started as a school age instructor, school age teacher. I can relate to that. That's that's actually my favorite place. I won't say it's where I started, but it's definitely my favorite place. How did the kids respond to you and how did the parents respond to you?

Christian 00:04:45  At first, all the kids, all the boys would just talk to me about video games. they were super shocked that I knew, like, their favorite game. they would mention something, like Pokemon and I'd be like, oh yeah, I used to. So don't you freak out. so it was like an instant connection with all the boys. With the girls? It was a little different. they they would want to tease me out, like, or, gossip with me a little bit, but I would always tend to put, like, a line between it. but for the most part, it was like, I'm. I'm kind of like their friend.

Christian 00:05:22  Especially in my volunteering, I wasn't really too much into, like, leading the class, but I was just kind of like talking to them. and then for a while, with the parents, it was more they enjoyed it because their kids enjoy coming more. it was a little difficult transitioning from a volunteer to a teacher, because now I have to talk to the parents more and tell them, okay, this was going on. and they were a little more like, okay, you're also a child. but but.

Carrie 00:05:55  How old were you when you went from assistant to teacher?

Christian 00:05:58  So I as soon as I turned 18. Pretty much. Okay. so I started in the.

Carrie 00:06:04  Ratio, said you could be in charge.

Christian 00:06:08  It it happened so that when I was already 17, I was pretty much like leading the class. I, all the kids were just always staring at me. So it was just, I was already with that connection with that same class and it just came naturally.

Kate 00:06:27  So you found yourself here because your mom had the program.

Kate 00:06:31  Do you think this is a field you would have selected otherwise had you already thought about going into teaching or when you were not 15, what did you think you were going to do? Like Carrie has tells the story that she was going to have child care since she was three.

Christian 00:06:47  So originally I was planning to be like an accountant. I still am still going to school hopefully. but my mom would give training since I was a child and it. I'm not going to lie, you never really interested me. and then once I was actually in the class, it was more. This is not super bad. I, I always thought that I was going to have an issue, like talking to the kids, but there's just there's so there's so much easier to talk to, I think. we, we talk about their day and stuff and they can go on and on. And I was at first I was like, man, I cannot like if I have 20 people telling me about their day because I'm pretty antisocial.

Christian 00:07:31  Like, but when it works with them, I can talk all day and I'm like, oh, really? And then I, I talked to them about a game and, and I, I just love it.

Carrie 00:07:41  So okay, you obviously have a, a head for numbers or an interest in numbers because otherwise you wouldn't have as an elementary and middle school kid, been like, I would like to be an accountant. So do you get to do much of that in in your current role?

Christian 00:07:59  A little bit. It's more at first we would just do like the payroll and stuff, but now we actually have a real accountant. but for the most part, I actually would just wanted to be an accountant. Like, they pay well. and I can't say I really love numbers. I think I, I ended up liking being in the class more than I do the office work.

Carrie 00:08:22  Okay, okay. Well, then I don't know if you get to be an accountant, because you're going to have to deal with the numbers all the time and tell people when they're overspending in a category.

Christian 00:08:33  Well, I'm good at telling my mom that. Don't worry.

Carrie 00:08:37  So what is the weirdest thing that a parent ever said to you when they were like, wait, you're a you're you're a guy working in the classroom? What's the weirdest thing a parent ever said to you about that?

Christian 00:08:52  So it was actually I was giving a tour of our Harlingen facility. and I had a baby coming in and it was going great, like someone was laughing. We're talking. We're showing everything. I'm setting all the rules. And then, like, right in the middle, she just asked me like, so, but you're not the one who's going to change her, right? And I was like, no. But at first it didn't hit me that it was like she was uneasy with it. I was like, no, I'm usually in after school or in an office. and then it later hit me like, oh, she's she's uncomfortable with, like, the idea of meeting her baby is it kind of made me feel weird.

Christian 00:09:33  it was more like she didn't trust me like that. And it to me, I was like, well, why would you bring your kiddo somewhere where you don't have faith that something's going to happen to them? So it made me feel like, like, weird about it. Kind of ugly. But, I, my staff is really supportive. and they were like, no, I mean, I've been around kids for years when it happened and, it I think I've, I've gone past that.

Kate 00:10:00  What would you tell another male teacher? so again, we had about.

Carrie 00:10:06  Entering the industry. Who was the guy?

Christian 00:10:09  I mean, honestly, I think from what I've seen and what I've talked to other schools, I think having a guys is a lot. How do I put it? It's it's kind of necessary in some sense because the kids connect differently. I, I wouldn't tell them to get discouraged. I mean, yes, you have some parents that will make you feel a little weird. but for the most part, like, once they get to know you, they they will trust you.

Christian 00:10:39  I have a lot of my parents that they come from, like, a really, Mexican background. So they were really, like, worried about that. and now sometimes, like, I'm closing the center and the kids are still here, and it's just me, and I'm telling you, like, man, it's I. I just feel like they'll gain the trust. and it's it's a slow process, but it does get there.

Carrie 00:11:02  I mean, the research absolutely supports that it's important to have men in childcare, because we're the type of play that guys naturally do with kids is different than the type of play girls. You know, female staff naturally do. With kids, there's more likely to be some rough and tumble, some competition, those kinds of things. And kids need to learn that just like they need that, you know, abuelita, who might be in the infant room rocking the babies like they need those smugglers, but they also need somebody who's willing to, you know, set up a competition for no good reason just because they think it might be fun.

Carrie 00:11:45  and there's kids who don't know how to be around guys because they're in an all female household.

Christian 00:11:53  That did happen a lot to me, actually. I had about eight families that there was no dad or like any brothers. And the kids were just always around me, like even even when we weren't doing anything. We're just sitting at a table. They would want to sit right next to me. And it had to be, next to me, and I it does it does show that they're missing that connection a little bit. they're looking for it.

Carrie 00:12:17  Yeah. They need to learn how to be around guys and what guys are like, because otherwise you only know what's, you know. Maybe their parents watch Fast and Furious, and that's all they know.

Kate 00:12:28  Yeah.

Kate 00:12:30  And you get to be an awesome role model. So I'm just I have a question that may come across as more of a challenge, and you can take it that way. How many men have you hired into your program at San Benito?

Christian 00:12:41  So in San Benito, actually, none.

Christian 00:12:44  I couldn't find any. Oh, okay. I was looking. in Harlingen, though we did have. We had one that was a cook. And then another one that was actually in the after school class. and I, the kids, even with the cooks, like, they're always looking for them. of course, their name is always going to be like Papa or something, but for the most part, they they they do look for them. and if I can find one for San Bernardino, if anybody is listening, I would love you as my after school teacher.

Kate 00:13:18  Absolutely, absolutely.

Carrie 00:13:19  Writing ads to get you some guys. You know, we'll troubleshoot after we're done with the podcast, give you some ideas.

Kate 00:13:27  That sounds good. Okay, so.

Kate 00:13:29  You said that your mom started one of your locations, and you guys have two locations or three locations.

Christian 00:13:35  We have three. So we have Brownsville, San Bernardino and Harlingen.

Kate 00:13:39  All right.

Kate 00:13:40  And so what's it like working for your mom or not?

Kate 00:13:45  Just like, is she in the room?

Kate 00:13:47  Did I just call you out?

Christian 00:13:49  she's.

Christian 00:13:50  She actually covering for me in the office? So, I mean, there's times, I'm not going to lie that there is times that we all fight because we've seen each other for, like, weeks straight, getting everything ready, and we're already tired. maybe have to go home and then see each other like it was. There were times, but honestly, I don't think that there's anything better because I, for example, one time at like 12 and midnight, a pipe just burst on one of our centers and it was all my family that was there. And and it really is like those moments where like, man, right now I don't really like you because I've seen you all week, but there's nobody I'd rather be here with.

Kate 00:14:30  I love that story, and I think that's a true sentiment for families that somehow have to figure out how to work together and play together. So, if you were talking to somebody else, you were at a conference and you were with somebody else at your table, who happened to hear that you worked with your relatives, what might be some advice you would give them? Or if they'd go, oh, I could never work with my mom or any other relatives, what would you say to them? I just.

Christian 00:14:58  Move. Out because that's what I did and everything fixed. no. Honestly, I would say to set boundaries like there's work boundaries and there's life boundaries. when we first started the center, it was a little rough because pretty much your whole life to come to work. but now that we're more stable, it's okay. We're going to work. Even though sometimes, like, we're kind of like going into life when we have those moments where like, hey, we're just going to focus outside of work. It it did it did help out a lot.

Carrie 00:15:32  Making it clear which hat you're wearing. Are you wearing the We Work Together hat or are you wearing the family hat?

Christian 00:15:39  Yes, especially. I mean, especially my mom, because she was my boss, too. So sometimes I tell her, okay, like, I know you're my boss, but I need you to be my mom right now. And I would just vent to her, like everything that would happen. Because you know how it is running a center.

Christian 00:15:53  Everything that's going to happen happens in a short period of time. And then you have the next month. That's like super calm. Yeah, everything's happy. But that one week is is really stressful. So I would I would vent to her and then be, okay, now I need you to be my boss. Like, let's go. And I need your your coaching. Pretty much.

Carrie 00:16:12  That is excellent. Like being able to communicate that that I need this right now. And then let's go back into problem solving mode. Like, see, I told you, you already knew lots of stuff.

Kate 00:16:25  Well, I.

Christian 00:16:26  Think it came from trial and error because I would just vent and then she would go straight into like trying to fix it and I'd be like, you're not you're not hearing me vent. but eventually when I told her, I was like, can I just vent and then you can help me? it did. It fixed a lot of, like, the the tension on my end, I guess.

Kate 00:16:46  I've had conversations like that.

Carrie 00:16:48  Yep. We both have.

Kate 00:16:51  I was like, that sounds almost identical to a conversation I had with my youngest.

Kate 00:16:56  It says it just happened.

Christian 00:16:57  I mean, I my mom has been doing this for so long that she instantly switches like, how to like, we're going to fix this. and she's great at it. I just there was some times where I was like, okay, I don't know how to do this. I need to like, let it all out. So then now I can learn how to fix it.

Kate 00:17:15  So where do you want to go next, Christian? Yeah. I mean, you said something about an accountant. Or do you want to be more like the CFO and have a couple more centers? What's on the long term plan for y'all?

Christian 00:17:28  Honestly, we want to get Macy accredited in our Brownsville and Harlingen settings. so I think really, that's the main focus. we're we're kind of here in San Benito going to TRS first because we opened a little over a year ago.

Christian 00:17:46  And so they're pushing everything back. So we're just trying to do TRS here and our other centers, we're really focused on on getting Macy accredited.

Kate 00:17:54  Yeah.

Carrie 00:17:54  Start with the accreditation that pays you which is the TRS. And then go to the accredited that you have to pay for, which is the Macy.

Kate 00:18:04  Yes.

Christian 00:18:04  And so pretty much our plan is to do one center, have a couple extra staff to come over to our other centers, help train, get everything ready and then just keep going to our third.

Carrie 00:18:14  So just rolling it forward. Well then that means in two years you'll be ready to open a fourth center.

Kate 00:18:21  Maybe, maybe.

Christian 00:18:24  Well honestly it depends. I'm waiting to see how everything goes because we, we have, we have had a plan for a very long time that we want to open a montessori school. so maybe that would be the fourth, but we want to do an AC first, like get into that storm, get out of it, and then put ourselves back in another one.

Christian 00:18:48  And it would probably be the Montessori because we already know the school. We're just waiting for my mom's friend. Retired.

Kate 00:18:55  Oh, wonderful.

Carrie 00:18:58  So, you know, just grow it until you feel like this is the perfect size for your team. And then maybe grow one size bigger.

Kate 00:19:08  Maybe.

Carrie 00:19:11  You got to have a little bit of stretch, a little bit of outside of your comfort zone so that you continue to grow and develop.

Kate 00:19:18  I agree.

Christian 00:19:18  With you. I mean, I think every, every center we've gotten has been like, can we do it? And then it's like, it's okay. And I mean, I'm hoping when they see because right now it's like, hey, we want a little extra staff to train. and we're learning so much that, that even here in San Benito, I know it's not our focus. I'm already starting to implement, like, small things. and it's it's been going really well. So hopefully with the Montessori school, I can get my sister to run it, and, And I wouldn't even have to worry.

Kate 00:19:50  Yeah.

Carrie 00:19:52  That's it. Just share the share the joy with other people.

Kate 00:19:58  So do you have. A word of advice to somebody who might be listening, who is who went from being a peer because you went from being a teacher to now you were in charge. How how did that work out?

Christian 00:20:10  The most important one is setting boundaries. because it was a lot of like, I used to be talking with the teacher all the time. And then as soon as in the office, they treated me a little differently. Not in a bad way, but it was kind of like, you know, you were one of us. And I like what happened. Now, they would complain about the class, and I had to look at it like, well, maybe we can fix it here. And they were looking at me like, wait, you like what happened here? but it was really just that setting the boundaries of like, okay, now I'm here to help you. I'm I'm here to to encourage you because, I mean, there's times where the teachers get a little overwhelmed and they don't want to hear, like, let's do something.

Christian 00:20:55  so I was learning all of that, and I think the for the most part, it really is just communicating with the teachers. for me, when I first got into the office, I had a lot of staff that were like 20 years older than me. So they've been doing this longer than I was alive. And at first it was a little intimidating to go into their class and try to redirect them. But, I mean, I'm always been giving trainings since I was like three. And so I was there learning from her go over the trainings, going to help her at the trainings. So I would tell them, like, look, I was literally trained to do this, like just read this. All I did just get erased and trainings. So I'm, I'm not telling you because I want to like be mean or telling you're doing it wrong. I'm just telling you, because this is going to be a way to make it easier for you in the long run.

Carrie 00:21:47  This sounds very familiar to me because I became a director for the first time at 23, so this sounds very familiar.

Christian 00:21:57  And it's weird. It was really weird for me. Like talking to the older people that are like they would that their first they would give me an eye like, again, you're you're too young to be telling me how to do this, but I think.

Kate 00:22:09  Anytime you're younger than they are, they feel that way. It doesn't matter how long you've been a director, if you're still significantly younger than they are, there's still some of that.

Christian 00:22:19  It's like a little tension. But I mean, I would just explain it to them and then I'll tell them why we do certain things. and eventually, eventually it slowly gets there and it it's like, okay, like he's really trying to help me. I'm going to try it for a little bit. And then once they see it's easier, they'll just continue to do it.

Kate 00:22:40  Well, I get inspired every time I listen to you tell stories about how you're there for your staff and you've been there for the kids at your programs. And I know I'm excited to see what you end up doing, not only with your accreditation, but just finding those guys in South Texas and bringing them into, being role models.

Kate 00:23:00  And so sometimes with that situation, it might be all about what you call their roles. And so maybe they're after school role models instead of after school teachers.

Carrie 00:23:09  Or after school coaches.

Kate 00:23:12  Or.

Kate 00:23:12  After school coaches.

Christian 00:23:14  Actually, I like the coach idea because I don't know how many times I've been called coach already, and I was just in class and then they would run up. Coach. Coach, wait.

Carrie 00:23:23  Yep. And it's something people feel more comfortable with. in. Well, in my experience of the Hispanic community, which is not as much as your experience of the Hispanic community, but that every T-ball, every soccer team has like seven different dads that are there, that are the coaches, even if they're not the coaches. And so it's a role that they're more comfortable with. They've seen their dad or their tio or somebody do that role. And so if I could do that, I could do that. I could be a coach for the after schoolers.

Kate 00:23:57  So I do it because.

Christian 00:23:58  My dad was one of those coaches.

Christian 00:24:00  So I think I do definitely want to get more males. mainly because here's how, you know, I have a lot of boys, and if I could be in the class with them all day, I really would. because I know they get really hyper for, for like some of the ladies and stuff, but I love it. Like, I love my classroom super loud. and it really is just that, like, if I could get a male for them, just so they, they have that connection all day.

Kate 00:24:29  Maybe.

Kate 00:24:30  Maybe you could start with also finding a guy that wants to be a floater. Like he could be full time and he could start like at lunch and, and help with lunches and float in the afternoons during nap time and have the schoolers. And then that way the parents and teachers get comfortable with it. Carrie had, you know, an infant, a man in one of her infant rooms who had a who was a medic.

Carrie 00:24:55  I've had men in all of my infant rooms at various times.

Carrie 00:24:59  Infant rooms, toddler rooms. That's not usually where they start, because the parents had to get familiar and comfortable with that person, and then they move into the infant room.

Kate 00:25:10  Yeah, that makes sense.

Christian 00:25:10  I mean, it really is the same thing. It's just the parents learning to trust them. And I mean, once they get to know them, it really does come naturally now. But I would never be in the room because I'm afraid to hold the babies.

Carrie 00:25:23  Hey, it's what you. Whatever age group you're most comfortable with. That's the classroom you sub in. Don't sub in the classrooms you're not super comfortable with. I don't go into four year old classrooms unless I absolutely have to.

Kate 00:25:36  It's for you.

Kate 00:25:38  I don't want to go to the toddlers. Don't give me those two year olds.

Kate 00:25:42  So I. I kind of like them. No.

Christian 00:25:47  Because they're all like, they just wave at me because I take their food and little things. So they just as soon as they see me, they all run and sit down.

Christian 00:25:55  And sometimes I'm like, I'm just your teachers go into the restroom. I can have any food.

Kate 00:26:03  Yeah. All right. So, Christian, what conferences do you have planned this year? Do you have anything you're going to that you're excited about?

Christian 00:26:10  I just went to some, I went to one in Dallas not too long ago. After that, I don't think I have any plans for myself. I know our other directors are are kind of alternating, so we don't all go at the same time. well, I know.

Kate 00:26:25  So the Seka conference, the southeast, it's part of Naci, it's the regional Naci conference is actually going to be in Houston in March. So, if you guys are working towards your Naci accreditation, that might be something to to plan, to try to budget, to get some of your staff to go to, where you get a chance to talk to other programs that are really focused on that Naci accreditation.

Christian 00:26:48  Yes. I mean.

Kate 00:26:49  Especially since it's in Houston. Yeah, it was in Atlanta last year, you know.

Kate 00:26:55  But Houston.

Carrie 00:26:57  Yeah, it's easier to get to.

Christian 00:26:59  Yes. Now we've also been doing, like coaching with Trina. and it's really helped a lot. Like she knows so much. So we really it's it's really helped to learn how to talk to our staff more.

Kate 00:27:13  She is very.

Carrie 00:27:15  Good at that, at helping the kids, take a breath and helping the teachers help the kids take a breath. Without a doubt that.

Kate 00:27:24  I have all.

Christian 00:27:25  Of them. Really? Now, like, my teachers, like, even my parents. I told, I had a parent that was pretty burnt out. she was struggling a lot with her little boy getting trying to get him to talk, and I told her I was like, it's okay. Like it's he's going to talk because he's already making, like the connection. She's trying to talk. We just just breathe, go slowly, and eventually it's going to get better. and I'm slowly trying to get all of them to breathe so that I don't have any parents, like, have issues or anything like that.

Christian 00:27:56  like, when accidents happen, I just tell them I, you know, let's all breathe and it's slowly working.

Carrie 00:28:01  Yeah, well, she's a great resource. That's why we've had her on the podcast twice. You know, we think she's a great resource for folks and we love training with her.

Christian 00:28:11  She's really good. Really good.

Kate 00:28:13  All right.

Kate 00:28:14  Well, Christian, I'm sure we will see you around at conferences around the state over the course of the next year. If you ever need anything, feel free to reach out to us. Carrie, do you want to wrap us up?

Carrie 00:28:23  So if you got anything from the show, make sure to share it and we'd love it if you go into your podcasting app and comment on the show. Also, if you have any topics you would like us to cover, send us an email and we'll be happy to add it to our list.

Marie 00:28:41  Thank you for listening to Child Care Conversations with Kate and Carrie. Want to learn more? Check out our website at Texas Director.

Marie 00:28:50  Org and if you've learned anything today, leave us a comment below and share the show!