Overwhelm is Optional
The podcast for big-hearted, highly-driven professionals who want their life back. Welcome to the Overwhelm is Optional podcast where each week we find ways to gently rebel against the nonsense that overwhelm and exhaustion are just the price you pay to have the life you want. Heidi Marke is a Coach, Teacher, Podcaster & Author. Thank you to purpleplanet.com for the music.
Overwhelm is Optional
Unlocking Deep Connections Through Storytelling with D Grant Smith
Join us as we uncover the transformative power of stories with D Grant-Smith, a master storyteller and self-concept specialist.
Youtube for our Hero Story Garden Show: https://www.youtube.com/@dgrantsmith/streams
Where to buy his books & stories: https://growthfarming.com/products
Where to connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dgrantsmith/
The One Minute Marke - get my free one minute audio for immediate relief from overwhelm.
The podcast for big-hearted, highly driven, professionals who want their life back. Welcome to the Overwhelm is Optional podcast where each week we find ways to gently rebel against the nonsense that overwhelm and exhaustion are just the price you pay to have the life you want.
Heidi Marke is a Coach, Teacher, Podcaster & Author
Having managed to embarrassingly and painfully burn out losing her once-loved and hard-worked-for career, confidence, health and financial stability - whilst prioritising her selfcare (yes, really!) she now quietly leads The Gentle Rebellion - inviting you to gently, but firmly, rebel against the idea that to have the life you want you to have to push through overwhelm and exhaustion. You don’t.
To find out more about my work please visit:
You can buy my book here:
Please note some episodes and show notes contain affiliate links for people and products I love and have used myself. I may earn from qualifying purchases. As...
Welcome to the Gentle Rebellion where overwhelm is optional Hello, hello, hello. And welcome to this week's episode of the Overwhelm is Optional podcast, and I know I'm always excited and delighted. But I'm extra excited and delighted to introduce you to one of my favourite people in the whole world, who I'm very fortunate to have met and get to hang out with regularly over an online Zoom cuppa, which is one of my favourite things to do Dee Grant-Smith. Dee Grant-Smith is a story smith, a teacher, a self-concept specialist, according to his linkedin profile.
Speaker 1:I'd say he's a whole load of other brilliant things which I hope that you're going to get to experience even a little bit of the magic that happens when you get to hang out with him today. Um, and I'm just going to dive straight in with the we've already chatted today before. This sounds really rude not to say how are you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but we've done that because it's Tuesday and that's our fortnightly cuppa. I'd really like to dive straight in with what's on your mind that you might like to talk about, just to see what's coming up for you today.
Speaker 2:Oh, quite a few things. To be honest, you know, storytelling is such a huge part of my life, but it's a huge part of life in general and I I've. There's always some story that is working its way through my imagination. Sometimes it's building on something that I'm in the process of continuing to write, sometimes it's something that's brand new. Sometimes it's a combination of the two. Sometimes it's like processing a dream I had, like I had a really, really weird dream last night that I still kind of keeps flashing in my head. But it's interesting because, like you know, you and I, when we have our and I love how you call it a cuppa, like I love how we have, you know, these, these conversations, I look forward to every Tuesday morning getting to to hang out. But there's all these you and I just had this really long conversation and there's all these really beautiful stories interwoven in between that and what's really cool about that.
Speaker 2:One of the things you and I were talking about is how different societies and different cultures and different groups of people there's all kinds of divisiveness that takes place in our world, where there's all this stuff about how, like you know, if it's perceived or is positioned as though, if you don't agree eye to eye, specifically, perfectly, on whatever the subject is, then we amplify that disagreement and create all this tension and all this division.
Speaker 2:But really all it takes. If you think about it, if we can and this is where maturity and just being different kinds of people come into play but like being a conscious listener and being somebody that genuinely is interested in other people, if you'll allow people to give the space or create the space, or if you will create the space to listen to the story that someone shares, behind the things that they think, behind the belief systems that they have, then you'll find that there's all these things that we perceive to be disagreements or differences are actually not there, and I think story has such a huge power. Talking about superpowers, story has a huge superpower and being able to actually be the unifying, the one unifying agent that brings all of us back together again.
Speaker 1:Wow, well, that's one way to start a podcast interview, isn't it? I love that and I'm just. I'm just standing here thinking I've been talking to you for months and I've never I've never quite got that angle on it. You know it's, and that's what I love about well, about having conversations with people in general, but particularly talking to you. I'm always blown away by the next way of looking at something, and I love what you've said there about storytelling, and I suppose my way of looking at it would be. I invite people. One of my many tools, as you know, is to put on some gently rebellious lenses to look at the world through differently, and for you it's deeper because that's quite. It's not a light thing, but you know, all my things are tiny, huge, so it's kind of small in that you just put these lenses on obviously there's a whole huge bit there.
Speaker 1:But what I love about what you're saying is you look at the world through this story lens, this storytelling lens. I love the, I love the story, smith. I think that's just beautiful, um, and hilarious, obviously, as your name is Smith, but it is brilliant because there's something much deeper going on which I don't think I get yet. I really don't. I think I'm still in the yeah, yeah, yeah, I get the whole. You know, from a psychological point of view, that the stories we tell ourselves, the beliefs we hold, and we can uncover them, and part of coaching is doing that. And I just brushed that whole heap of beautiful, deep work off. But I don't mean it like that. I mean that I think you're doing something else and I'd really like to explore that with you, if, if we may just start there. So you're you're saying not just.
Speaker 1:I think what I heard was you're saying that when you really listen, you can hear the story behind what somebody's saying, and not only. So in my case, that would be yeah, yeah, yeah, and I want to know more because I love people and I'm curious and you know, and where's the for me? I'm always looking at it and where are they stuck and where's the freedom that I'm always looking at it and where are they stuck and where's the freedom that I can help them find for themselves and the capacity for more joy. That's my work, but you're you're coming at it from a different lens with this storytelling and you just said and it can unify people, and there's something there for me, and I just have to throw this in before I forget and I know I'm overloading you with stuff, but you won't mind, dr Seuss, there's a Dr Seuss book, isn't there? What's the Dr Seuss book where the people are like, oh, what is that Dr Seuss?
Speaker 2:oh, I know exactly what you're talking about.
Speaker 1:It's the um the divisive groups, you know, I can think of.
Speaker 2:I can think of the, the imagery yeah, I can see, and they, and they have a name. They're all little like yellow, almost like chicken, looking um yeah, the little yellow doctors.
Speaker 1:You see, yeah and they, they both holding opposing views and oh, it'll come back to us, we'll leave that. But there's something for me that came, came up while you were saying that and the idea that we can this unifying story. There's something there that I love, if anything's coming up for you that you could explore a bit further if you would like to yeah, I'm so. I love that you're taking notes.
Speaker 2:Well, actually I'm looking for the Dr Seuss book.
Speaker 1:It's the Taking notes.
Speaker 2:Why is it not the first one that pops up?
Speaker 1:Because he wrote a lot of very, very cool books. We have a Dr Seuss tree in our garden that I would have chopped down on the ground and said it's odd looking. But the sneetches yeah, is it the sneetches?
Speaker 2:that's what it looks like, but I don't think that that's what it is. I thought it was a different. This is what happens when you start talking to people that, like, are so obsessed with storytelling, like, okay, we've got to make sure we get this right or at least that's the way I am.
Speaker 2:You know what it's not. It's not that important. Um, I want to point out something about your storytelling and what you, what you, the story you just told me in interpreting what it was that I shared with you. So you said this is what I think I heard.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And in you qualifying in, like giving a little opening to what it was that you shared in that way, you showed me, you told me a story about how you are a very sensitive person that wants to make sure that you and I are actually hearing each other correctly. You didn't say okay. So D Grant, this is what you just told me, as though this is like the perception of things, the things that you heard, like this is the only one thing that you possibly said. So what that communicates to me is A. You are really clear and detailed about your perception of things. Also, you want to make sure that what it is that I'm communicating to you and what you're interpreting is what it is.
Speaker 2:That was actually my intention and that also speaks very highly of the intentionality that you have about relationships in general, but in particular, ours. So I want to point those things out, because you and I are both pointing out things about each other and the things we're saying. I think this is really important, especially for your podcast, because this correct me if I'm wrong the whole point of your podcast and the point of the work that you do is helping people get out of these feelings of overwhelm and and burnout, and one of the things that helps, one of the things that contributes to burnout and overwhelm, is this overthinking mind is constantly, just overburdened with these perceptions about the way that things are or our often misinterpretations of things that happen.
Speaker 2:And we're not always paying attention to the actual subtle cues that are telling us that everything is really okay, because we've got these stories in our head that are like just contributing to this ulterior or alternative version of something that's not really all that present or probably not even real at all. So you and I've both illustrated to each other in this moment how we're paying attention to these very small details. But in our small details that we're paying attention to with each other, we're finding commonality and we're finding trust and we're finding love, and it's a beautiful thing wow that.
Speaker 1:I love what you just did there. That's very clever and also thank you, wow. But I think there's something else for me in the um. I really don't like it when somebody um reports back to me what they and, and and says this is what you said. I really don't like that. This is what you said, but it's not what my intention was and please forgive me if I don't always speak correctly. That really upsets me, and especially at the moment, because we know there's a lot of issues with being able to speak without fear of messing up and having our intentions misinterpreted. Fear of messing up and having our intentions misinterpreted.
Speaker 1:Um, so part of what what I was saying there is. Can I just check in that this is that? Not just that? I heard you right, but is this what you meant to say? Because you may have meant something else and it's not easy to say.
Speaker 1:And and what the purpose of of of a podcast for me, in this beautiful free-flowing nature of the conversation, is that I want you to feel safe so that you have the courage to speak, and without that safety, I know that you will share less, not because you're not an incredibly courageous person who's very good at sharing things, which is because that's the nature of how we are as people and the safer you feel to say actually it's not what I meant, or I want to change my mind, or actually now you've said that I think that's not quite quite what I meant. Unless we can have those kind of conversations with each other, we're just repeating nonsense at a shallow level, and and one of the dangers, I think, is that when you work in the personal growth space, the, the transformation space, you can think that you're having deep level conversations and actually you're not.
Speaker 1:You're kind of just repeating how you see things, and this is, you know, this is my work and this is your work, and we have this in common, which is kind of nice in lots of ways. Lots of ways, because it's not terrible. But I'm really interested in the deeper stuff and the, the more revealing stuff, as in um, the, the stuff that you would that comes up between us, the magic that we create in the space between us. I think that there's there's stuff that we can say separately and I mean this as we as humans, not just us and then there's the that we can say separately and I mean this as we as humans, not just us and then there's the stuff we create in the magic between us.
Speaker 1:When we create a very safe container with clear intention and respect and love, and when you go to that higher level, well, it produces more of a gift to the world and the listeners Also. It's a hell of a lot more fun. I mean, and that's that's, that's, yeah, so that's what, that's where I'm going, that's what I got. There was something more for me in that. Is this really what you meant? Or and and I'm also laughing at myself, because you, you made me sound absolutely like a really cool, wonderful person.
Speaker 2:Thank you for that, but I'm also you are a really cool, wonderful person and you Thank you for that. But I'm also thinking you are a really cool, wonderful person and you know this.
Speaker 1:Okay, but I'm also gonna do some English self deprecation for you. I know you love that and I just want to qualify that I'm not like some amazing, perfect person, because also that would just be irritating and boring, but that I'm just so I'm reflecting that, yes, you're right in in many ways, and isn't it the hardest to be like that with the people closest to you? So, for example, I know in my closest relationship with my partner, I'm probably like the worst at saying this is what I think you said. I'm much more likely to say but didn't you say this?
Speaker 1:And that's what happens is the and I think understanding that and sharing that's important before we get into like, yeah, we're really high level people who always are brilliant at communicating the people closest to you, the people who are going to trigger you the most into the most barmy nonsense. So I just want to clear that up and say yes for this conversation and in my work and in many ways I am what you said, but I'm also perfectly capable of being pushed back into that more fear-based, habitual nonsense where I get very defensive because I'm human and and it's really good to reflect on, on the differences and the, the how different we can be in different situations and that is, I'm sure you could attest, is to do with the stories we tell ourselves, and that we can get stuck in. The story with the people closest to us is the most well worn story and possibly the hardest to change. I don't know what you think about that.
Speaker 2:Well, that was me writing some really awesome notes, because you really did remind me of something and what you just said at the end there about like in our closest relationships, that's when the it's not a mask but that's when the um kind of like when our, when our biggest weaknesses in these areas that we are, you know, we know we're strong and especially in this, you know personal development, um, spiritual development, realm of you know helping, guide people, uh, coach them, if you want to call it that uh, into these different, you know next levels of their evolution and growth and stuff. But it can also be a challenging thing because in those closest, intimate relationships, the more baseline, fear-based, like you were saying, insecurities and like I want to say, like core wounds, that's where those things come up. And so what you were describing to me a minute ago about um, you know saying this is what I heard you say to create this safe space and make sure that what it was that I was communicating, or using the words that I was using, that you were interpreting them correctly. It reminded me of something that I find myself I don't use words willy-nilly, I don't use letters willy-nilly. So, by the way, folks, if you message me and I highly hope that you will when you message me. When you message me, my name is D Grant Smith and you can be whatever you want to be about me making a big deal about my name, but if I took the first letter of your name off and called you that, you probably would be like who the hell are you talking to? And that's kind of the way that I feel when I have addressed myself to people and I've signed my name, d Grant, and they say hey, grant, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like dude, please read.
Speaker 2:Anyhow, going back to what you said, I realized that there are certain words that people have said to me that I've held on to and I interpreted what they said in these certain ways and, instead of asking questions, instead of doing what you did with me, I said well, you know, you said blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, feeding in my interpretation and actually feeding in my hurt and my pain in that moment, instead of actually getting clarity and operating from a place of love and being like you know I'm thinking of former partners in particular, like you know, I'm thinking of former partners in particular, like you know, instead of approaching it from like a. I know we're on the same team and I want to make sure that we stay on the same team I've approached it from like. How could you say that to me? How could you use these words?
Speaker 1:Yeah, automatic assumption of the worst possible, most threatening outcome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which is kind of bizarre, but I guess it's just the ancient patterns to keep us safe I also think that it's really important for folks like us to have these kinds of conversations and to do so in this pseudo public sort of way, because now, not only are we taking off, you know, the curtain so that we see that you know, o, oz isn't.
Speaker 2:you know Oz, the great it's, there's a, there's a human being behind the mechanism that is incredibly flawed but also incredibly perfect, and that interesting paradox is all of life and all of existence. But with that also is this realization that like I I have, I have a big problem with certain words. So when people call me an expert at anything, like I am very, very skilled at what I do. Actually I consider myself to be the best there is at what I do, because nobody does what I do. Like story smith, that's me. Um, superman of storytelling, that's me. I'm the best there is at what I do. Like StorySmith, that's me. Superman of storytelling, that's me. I'm the best there is at what I do.
Speaker 2:But that doesn't make me an expert, because the idea for me of expert is perfection, no flaws, does everything, absolutely, perfectly, perfectly perfect every single time, and that just doesn't exist in my world. So to think that because I'm like I've spent a long time in the relationship building world and helping other people build stronger relationships with each other, I've never been a relationship coach in the romantic sense, although actually that's not true. I have coached a couple of people in their romantic relationships. But like I have experience and I'm really good at that. But like I don't have all the answers and I don't all. I don't know everything. So for anybody that's been in relationship with me in the past, I think they felt this actually has been vocalized, this pressure that they felt like oh you're, you're the relationship growth farmer. That was one of my brands for a little while. You're the relationship growth farmer. Do you know how hard it is to be in a relationship with you? Like?
Speaker 1:it should actually be easier, because if the pressure's on anybody in this, it's on me, because you can't be guru in your hometown, as james wedmore, previous mentor of mine, says. You can't be guru in your hometown, so you're just. You know, I always find it funny because you and in particular, but lots of people say, oh, you're so calm and and yet my closest family would just laugh and say no, she's really not, but actually I am. But they will remember the times when I've been the stressed wailing banshee when I was burning out. There'll be the times they'll remember when they were children. My adult children will still remember the times when I was just like so stressed and they were so naughty. I shouted at them like you just, and you just get that. You get that stuckness, don't you? In, in, in, particularly, I think, family relationships, because I don't know about you, but I. I find the absolutely hilarious paradox about romantic relationships is that you wait and wait and wait for this person and then you find them and it's like yay, and then you discover that actually it's just a mirror. It's just a mirror to work through your junk. So I always just find that hilarious.
Speaker 1:Looking back to you know my Bridget Jones days? Do you have Bridget Jones. Yeah, cultural references there. You know, being in my 30s and you know, and I don't know, the nonsense you go through with the dating scene, oh my goodness. I could tell you some hilarious stories, stories, but I'm just not really interested in them anymore.
Speaker 1:But then to finally meet somebody and then realize that that's when the adventure really begins, you know. So it's easy to look back at that time and see that and I remember, I do remember, and I will say it to friends now who are in that stage of life where you're waiting for this person to build a life with, like, just enjoy this time, because because actually, if you knew that in a year's time or six months time you're definitely going to meet someone, you'd be telling yourself a different story about your time now. You'd be like, right, I'm really going to enjoy this time because I'm single and I get to do all of these things that when I'm with somebody I won't like. For me personally, it'd be less food, because as soon as you meet somebody put weight on as a woman because you're eating the same as the guy until you realize and then reverse that it's a very common thing. So I just have a different size plate when I can now. But um, yes, anyway, I'm rambling now ramble away, my friend uh, yes, so I?
Speaker 1:what I was saying is the whole families are like this pressure cooker. So, instead of it being um. So, on the one hand, we have this, they're incredibly important to us and we love the people closest to us and we build this life and we love our home and you know the people, that is, they're an essential part of our life and who we are. But, on the other hand, it's always the worst thing, isn't it? You'll you feel at least I, I can easily get into that feeling, the feeling judged by them and that and it's not true actually, I mean it may be by adult children, because I think adult children do go through several phases according to the season of their life.
Speaker 1:I mean, I know, I did, you know where you're trying to create your own life, so you look back at your, your parents, and and judge them and want to do things differently until you work out that actually that's really hard and they weren't so bad, depending on on your situation, because we're all different. But, um, now I've lost where I was. It'll come back if it's important, because this happens, and that's okay pressure cooker.
Speaker 1:It's gone. What was I saying?
Speaker 2:the pressure cooker.
Speaker 1:A family, yeah, the pressure cooker. A family, no, that's it. I think it's just that paradox, isn't it, between we love them, we need them and then, on the other hand, we're assuming that they're judging us when they're not. They're actually loving us more than anybody in the whole world. So what is that about? And I don't know if it's to do with the parent-child relationship, because actually the parent-child relationship is that's what we're learning first and there is judgment in that, because as a parent, you are judging the child like are they going to hurt themselves? Are they, are they repeating behaviors? That's going to make them completely unsocialized. And if they're unsocialized, we know statistically that's not, that's not great.
Speaker 1:You know you, you raised on, you raise unsocialized children. It's like unsocialized puppies. They've just become a problem. They don't fit in anywhere. They get punched on the nose. Don't do that, sort them out. You know that. So there is that. That's what we grow up in.
Speaker 1:Isn't it a love and judgment you know are? Is your behavior, is your behavior acceptable as a parent? You've definitely got that with children. Is their behavior acceptable enough to go out into the world and be safe and loved and be successful? So is there something you need to do and it's really hard. Parenting is just really, really complicated and we all mess it up to a certain degree and then have to kind of undo the stuff as we untangle from our families and then we create families of our own. But I think there is that love and judgment at the same time and it and it yeah, so it's always.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you cannot be a guru in your hometown, so the so I sometimes wonder if, um and I think this is this is true of many helping type professions that it's very easy to give your best to not strangers because they're important like clients and colleagues. It's easier. It's easier actually to be at your best in your work than at home. Of course it is, but I'm so gone I want to kind of challenge that idea please do, because I don't like it.
Speaker 2:I'm not happy with how I've got to that, but I I'm wondering if it is easier, because I wonder if it's easy to work well, I wonder if the idea of giving your best to a stranger or somebody that you're working with is actually your best, because you're not showing these sides of yourself that your family gets to see like if that's actually your best or if that's just polished with with my clients.
Speaker 2:They're getting the slice of pizza that has all of the toppings, and in large portions, because, however the pizza was cooked and baked or and I make a lot of pizza um, it all ended up where, if I slice it this way, this one piece is going to be like the, the creme de la creme of all of all slices. And I want to make sure that my, my client, gets the creme de la creme of all slices, because I want them to feel like they've gotten the most bang for their buck. But the rest of my family is going to get the whole rest of the pizza and they better not complain because I made a pizza for them. So, come on, guys, let's just, you know, give me a break here. So which one of these is actually the best, which one of these is the real deal? And I want to say that it's not an either or proposition, it's actually the whole pie and the whole pie.
Speaker 2:The one that gets the whole pie is us.
Speaker 2:So the one that gets the best of us is us, if we'll allow ourselves to see it that way, because we're the most with ourselves, we're the most unadulterated, the most unfiltered, the most real and the most raw and we are, whether we're consciously aware of it or not, and this isn't about being manipulative in any way, shape or form. It's just the nature of human psyche is we're presenting a part of ourselves to people in every relationship, my best friend or my best friends, but my two biggest friends in particular, they know every side of me, but there's still parts of me that they don't know, because I have not been able to be that purely raw, real, intimate in the deepest senses with anybody. There's one person that I think at one point in time knew me better than anybody else did, but my life has changed since then, so that story is no longer even true. The one person that knows me better than anybody in the whole world is me, and so I'm at my best self when I'm actually with me, not when I'm with anybody else right.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to challenge you on that. When did that happen? Because I would argue that a lot of the work I do is in helping people get to know themselves and love themselves and accept themselves and drop the judgment and allow themselves to be with themselves.
Speaker 2:So so I don't feel like you're challenging me. I think I feel like you're like adding on to this story no, I am challenging you I want to do.
Speaker 1:How, how did you get to be able to be happy with you, be comfortable with it, be, be at home? And I see to me, because I was talking who I don't know I was talking to anyway and I mentioned the word ease and and they just went oh, I love that word so much I said, yeah, that's what we want, that's everything we do is in order to create this, this feeling, and to me, that ease is a feeling of being at home in myself, where I'm dropping the judgment of myself, where I'm letting myself be myself with myself. So when you said that it sounded really awesome and cool and really nice, and I'm like, yeah, but when? When did you get to that? Because I know that you're deeply transformational in your storytelling, so did I get there?
Speaker 2:Here's the thing. So here's the Superman metaphor Like Superman lands and then he flies away again, and then he lands and he flies away again. And that's the story of this whole process. With this, like I land in this place of unconditional love with myself and no judgment and no fear and no worry and no anxiety, and it feels easy and it feels wonderful, but then something happens and I fly away again. So like landing and staying grounded and not jumping and flying away and going off into these places where, like those old stories come back and I react to them, I haven't gotten that level of solidarity yet.
Speaker 1:I love that metaphor. That's so good because that fits in with the whole gentle rebellion, zen premise of you are both perfect and a work in progress, and the work is to let go of all the ways you think there's something fundamentally wrong with you. So that's that, isn't it? That's that superman flies off and it comes back. I just love that. And can we just do a quick, shameless plug for our, our superhero series, because I I feel like, because I'm not I, because we did it live on linkedin and because I haven't know, got the recordings and put it on YouTube or put it on the podcast? I feel like there's. If people are, if people like this conversation, then they would love to listen to our crazy but brilliant superhero series. So is there a way to listen to? Is there a way to watch it on LinkedIn, even though, because I'm not up to the tech on that.
Speaker 2:On LinkedIn? Yes, on YouTube would be easier. So I've got, because I streamed it to my LinkedIn and to my YouTube channel. So my YouTube is simply at D Grant Smith.
Speaker 2:Brilliant no extra letters, no extra numbers at the end, just at D Grant Smith, If you go to if you go to the live video setting, I think if you go under videos and it's got like shorts and videos and live or whatever. Under the live setting this show is called the Hero Story Garden and so Heidi and I do this very deep dive into the garden of the superhero stories and and this is something I'm very passionate about and I'm so thankful that heidi was willing to allow me to help her convert over into becoming a superhero comic book nerd, and it's been one of the joys of the last five to ten years of my life to hear you talk about how like she's got uh, you got marvel tissues and a marvel puzzle and a marvel puzzle, yeah, and, and have astonished my adult children with the fact that I watch superhero movies as part of my work yes, and I love that you continue to tell that story.
Speaker 2:It makes me really happy, um, but uh. So we, we deep dive into these stories and we unearth powerful life lessons that are, I think, very especially applicable to folks that are like me and like her, that are we're very we're very conscientious beings. We're also highly sensitive. We're very empathic. We see the depth of things instead of just floating around in the surface level stuff. If you were like that, you would get a whole lot out of this show, aside from the fact that it's incredibly entertaining.
Speaker 1:And also, before you think, oh no, I wouldn't be interested in that because I don't know about superheroes, no, neither did I, and that's what's so brilliant is because I'm coming at it from a what. So brilliant is because I'm coming at it from a what, and you're just this. I have to say I can I not use the?
Speaker 2:term expert. In this particular scenario you can have the green light to to throw that your ridiculous amount of knowledge about superheroes is just literally astonishing to me.
Speaker 1:Always it's it just, yeah, just amazing. I just don't understand it really, although I can understand it now and do actually want a t-shirt. So there you go. Captain Marvel is my, as you know. She's just so empowering and brilliant. Anyway, thank you for that, because I do think some people are going to want to check that out and I'll put the link in the show notes as well to make it really easy, and I also think I'd quite like to put them on my YouTube channel because more people would find them. And they are. They are nice to have on while you're cooking your tea. I think good thing to have on the background. I had um, who was it? Somebody contacted me and said their child was. Who was that? Who said that their child was?
Speaker 1:they were listening and their child nine year old child or something was being bullied at school and heard me talk about.
Speaker 2:Captain Marvel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was Kristen oh so good, so lovely, such a lovely story, to know that we were just chatting and this, this school girl just heard this and it lived, and that was just so. Yeah, check them out anyway. Where should we go now with this?
Speaker 2:I'm still, I'm still like itching to talk more about story telling well, it's your show, so we scratch whatever it's you want to scratch I.
Speaker 1:I really just want to know more about this is what I'd like to know.
Speaker 1:I'd like to know how. I mean, I guess it'd be easy for me to say, well, as a coach, I help people look at their stories and change their self-content, but that's not, that's too shallow, that's not what you do. You do something. I believe, something deeper than I know, something more magical than that. So I'd really like to know how you approach storytelling, because we were talking about this earlier, about, um, the fact that, as a personal brand, you're encouraged to have stories that you tell, and if you look at big brands, they have stories about their origin or stories they tell and that works because we know about the brain and storytelling. That's fine, but that's not what you do. You do something much more magical and really important than that and I I just I'd like to know more, even though I think I know I want to hear it from you.
Speaker 2:I appreciate the question and I want to be very clear, because this is something that I'm continuing to explore and I think it's important to recognize that, like going back to that whole idea of experts, it would seem that I would know how to describe everything that I do and pitch perfect clarity every single time, because that's what I help people do, but I don't get it pitch perfect every single time and I find that sometimes I have to kind of remind myself of, like well, that's a part of what I do, but that's not really everything that I do. And here's something that I think is really important, and this is something I'm coming to terms with myself, because I get asked and I'm sure you guys do as well Like so tell me more about what it is that you do.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I really have gotten to where I hate that question because it's like the second or third question that gets asked after we learn what people's names are and where they're from. And I'm a very, very interesting person. There's a whole lot more to me than what I do professionally well, you're such a good person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, exactly, I'm just laughing. I'm smiling because my own story with that very question is just makes me laugh. It just makes me laugh to the extent that, um, to the extent that I I went through a stage of my life when I made up lots of answers. I can't remember now. You know like you just write down lots of silly answers to what you do because you don't like the question, because, but then I, then I chilled out a bit about it and decided that the reason we asked that question, if people are asking that question out of genuine curiosity, then although it feels pigeonhoed and it feels like it can feel judgmental, it can feel like tick or not.
Speaker 1:And I've certainly been in situations where I've answered the question and felt dismissed, definitely Like I'm just in the wrong profession or I do the wrong thing. However, from now I'm kind of, now I'm more solid in myself, I tend not to take offense, so I'm more kind of like. But it's still a different. I don't think it's a very easy question, like you can have a title of a profession and that can be a block because like, yeah, just back off there's, there's your answer, move on. Or you can have a really interesting answer where you actually, but it depends who's asking it.
Speaker 1:However, this is me asking it and I genuinely want to know because I don't know yet in terms of um being a client of yours. So I'm about to experience that in a couple of weeks time, where you're going to help me, um, you well, you're going to use your skills and storytelling to help me with my business and I'm really excited about that. But we're recording that before this and I kind of feel like I need to invite you back afterwards so I can talk about it. But we'll see what happens then, because magic unfolds and I'm just open to what will happen. So I'm really curious to know right now, with me asking you the question, what would you say you do?
Speaker 2:What I help people do is, number one gain clarity on who they really are on the inside of themselves, the things that light them on fire in terms of their passions, and get out of whatever boxes that they might have put themselves in or let other people put them in, to determine the ways that they show up in the world, and gain clarity on what it is that actually lights, again, lights their heart on fire and then, from that, being able to see themselves more clearly, to know not only who they are, but who the people are that they want to most serve and most help in the ways that they want to do that. And from all of that stuff, as you can see, this is an evolutionary process. It's not just one thing. Through this evolutionary process, now, with this clarity, now you know what stories to tell when you're talking about your business, when you're talking about yourself, because you know what really resonates with the hearts and the souls of other people, so much of and we can call this branding or we can call it marketing, we can call it any number of things, but so much of this stuff gets put in this way of we have to do things to get people's attention.
Speaker 2:Back in 2015,. I wrote my first published book called the DIY Musicians Radio Handbook. At the time, I was a syndicated radio show host. Oh yes, here's another facet of my story in my life that you didn't know about until now. There's so much about me that I don't talk about all the time because it's not always what it is that I'm in the space of doing right now. But I got my first foray in doing storytelling by helping musicians share their stories and their music to build relationships with people in the music industry, to build relationships with their fan base and to build relationships with influencers like myself at the time to get their music heard by media radio, blogs, podcasts, all that stuff blogs, podcasts, all that stuff. I learned back then that this idea that I have to tell the same story over and over and over again and I have to say it in these certain ways and I have to get people's attention but I also learned back then that at the time this was eight years ago, that at the time this was eight years ago no, nine years ago At the time I learned that goldfish and people had almost the same attention spans.
Speaker 2:Goldfish could hold their attention for about seven seconds and at the time, humans could hold their attention for about eight seconds. It's less than that. Now, folks, Now goldfish, have the upper hand or fin on us. They can hold their attention longer than we can. So if we are shooting for attention, we are shooting at a non-existent target. Why do that? We also know, thanks to the HeartMath Institute, that the heart emits an energy frequency that is 5,000 times as powerful as that of the mind.
Speaker 2:So if you are spending your time trying to grow your business or get your name out in front of other people and you're trying to get their attention in order to do that, you are going to be struggling for a long time. If you are struggling at all right now with your marketing, whether that means you're struggling with getting anybody interested at all or it's just not having the same sort of resonance that it used to, it's because you need to go for the heart, not the head. I help people go for the heart because the heart is where the soul lives, and that's actually when you attract somebody's heart. They're not going away. They're going to stick to you and they're going to follow you and they're going to connect with you in the most deep, longevity, loyal, beautiful, amazing ways that you in the most deep longevity, loyal, beautiful, amazing ways.
Speaker 1:That's what I help people do and I use storytelling as the, as the vehicle and the vessel to do that. Thank you, that was so cool. Oh, I love that so much and that's a really cool answer at a party. What do you do?
Speaker 2:it's a longer response than the typical elevator pitch, but I've always so. I'm somebody that I'm cut from a different cloth, and I always have been. I guess I'm the black sheep of the family. I've learned this about myself, though. So, going back into, let's use Superman anyways. Superman, the first ever superhero, also the black sheep of his family, biologically and otherwise, because who else is like that? And if we go back to the olden days prior to, I guess, 2005 or whatever, superman, the only superhero that still wears his underwear red outside of his clothes.
Speaker 2:But you're not going to be a guy that fits in or a girl that fits in if you're the black sheep of the family, if you're the person that thinks differently than everybody else in your family or in everybody else in your friend group, and there can be this desire that you have to feel like, oh no, I need to change something about myself so that I fit in, I need to doctor myself in some way so that I'm not ostracized everywhere I go. Except that if you want to be great at anything, if you want to be iconic at anything, if you want to be known as the best at anything, you're going to have to stand alone, because all of the icons are like that. They don't fit in. That's why. So I have not ever really seen things the same way that the majority of my family or the majority of my friends do, and I used to hide myself and silence myself and mute myself.
Speaker 2:And when I realized that, wait, dude, this person that I am is actually pretty freaking, awesome and grand and great, and my voice matters, why am I being silent? Why am I not saying what it is that I want to say? Why am I not letting myself be heard? Because my voice matters and my story matters. That's when everything broke open for me. So what does it take for anybody and it doesn't matter what profession you're in what does it take for anybody to go from where they are to where they want to be? It's you allowing yourself to have permission and only you can give yourself this to tell your story.
Speaker 1:And if you don't like your story. You have this magical pin that exists inside your consciousness to cross out what you don't want, rewrite it and move on from there. Woohoo, still got goosebumps.
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness, I could talk to you all day.
Speaker 1:Oh, this winner what a huge compliment. Yeah, exactly best compliment. Um, I feel like wrapping this up and then inviting you back in again in a few weeks.
Speaker 2:Winner.
Speaker 1:That's what I feel like how would that be Abso-freaking-lutely? Cool.
Speaker 1:So I'm trying to sum up everything we've said and I'm not sure I can, I'm not sure that you need to, I'm not sure I need to, but I just kind of feel like I want to thank you. Actually, I want to thank you for your courageous voicing of things that I think matter. The highlighting of the being a conscious listener I really think that that's incredibly valuable, particularly as the whole world is in election cycles this year, and not that we're going to talk about politics or religion, because, um, that just indigestible. But, um, yes, the being a conscious listener adds even more to the tool of curiosity which we like to use a lot on this podcast, and that holding people with respect and love, and just listening for the story behind, with the intention to hear, intention to hear that I think, yeah, at least that is one of my highlights of this conversation. I really want to thank you for that. So, ah, dee, it's been absolutely amazing. Thank you so much for bringing your energy, your magic with words and and yeah, yourself to the overwhelm is optional podcast.
Speaker 2:It's just been lovely oh well, I appreciate you. I appreciate this opportunity to get to talk with you twice in one morning. What a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful gift, um, and you know it's actually. I want to point out something else that you do really well, heidi. Probably top three easy, maybe even maybe even number one. I've been guest on several podcasts in my day, so part of my background also is I was a. I was a syndicated radio host, yes, but I also ran a radio station and I taught people how to be on the radio and I taught people how to do shows and how to create. I was an award winning interviewer for different, different pieces and I trained with I trained from the guy that taught all of NPR how to do interviews. So I know interviews and I know how to like connect with people. One of the things actually I've got it right here.
Speaker 2:There's a lady that I heard in 2008. Her name is Valerie Geller. I keep this little sheet, little card how to create powerful radio. One of the first things that she said, and I don't even think it's on this card, but she does it very well. She talked about it very well. She said you want to give the impression that you were sitting in the passenger seat of somebody's car while they're driving and you're sharing with them something that is going on in the world, as though you're their friend and they know you, and you communicate that very, very well in the way that you present yourself, but especially in the way that you and I just had this conversation, because I never felt like I was being quote unquote interviewed by you for your podcast. Instead, we had this conversation because I never felt like I was being quote unquote interviewed by you for your podcast. Instead, we had this beautiful conversation that was incredibly interactive and you didn't go through this same laundry list of questions that you ask every single person, and as soon as I finished answering the baseline answer, you didn't rifle off the next question from that.
Speaker 2:Every time I hear or see people being interviewed and you and I both are friends with lots of people on LinkedIn that do shows and interviews. All the time. When I watch my friends being interviewed in that manner, it makes me angry because that person that is interviewing them might have this massive show with tons and tons of audience, but they're not actually being present with the person that they're quote unquote interviewing and they're not listening to those answers that are being given from that person's perspective or from that person's heart. They're just going through the motions. You don't go through the motions with people. You are really intentional and really genuine and this whole experience has been absolutely fantastic and I feel so loved and so honored and thank you for giving me that gift.
Speaker 1:I don't know what to say to that, so I will say nothing other than thank you. That is. My intention is to hold space for magical conversations that enrich people's lives and lift them up and make them feel seen and heard, because when we are seen and heard, everything changes. Yeah man sister. Yeah, um, can you, just before you go, just say where people can find you, so they can say hello uh, I don't spend much time on social media.
Speaker 2:I'll be honest. The one place I spend probably the most time is LinkedIn. So, just like everything else, linkedin slash IN, slash. D Grant Smith. If you leave the D off, I don't know who you're going to get a hold of. It won't be me, but one of the things I want to just make up this brief mention, one of the things that makes me a great storyteller is I am a storyteller.
Speaker 2:I've written 60 something stories and counting, including a bunch of novels that have not been published yet. I'm about to publish an anthology of stories that I'll be talking about more on the show that I'm going to be starting. That's going to be on LinkedIn and possibly on YouTube, I'm not sure. But if I've said anything to you that's made you the slightest bit curious about what does a D Grant story read like? Because he's saying things that are really interesting to me. I write stories that will lead you down a path to find truth for yourself in realms of spiritual and personal development and through the lens of different kinds of things like science fiction or even murder mystery. But all of that stuff is available at my website, which is growthfarmingcom.
Speaker 1:Thank you very much, and we will, of course, put the links in the show notes to make it really easy. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Heidi.
Speaker 1:For more resources to help you gently rebel, please visit my website.
