Awe and Wonder Amid Chaos: How to Reclaim Your Attention

Reflecting on my recent road trip through the Pacific Northwest of America I found way more awe and wonder than the doom and gloom news headlines would suggest.

A great reminder of the importance of valuing your attention. After all, where you place your attention determines the experience of your life.

Chapters

• 0:00 Awe and Wonder in America
• 14:34 The Beauty of Redwoods and Beaches
• 27:28 Choosing Your Focus Wisely

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Gentle Rebellion where overwhelm is optional. Hello, hello, hello. So I'm back from my three-week road trip in the Pacific Northwest of America and, yeah, it was wonderful. Thanks for asking what did I learn? Oh, that sounds very serious, doesn't it? Like you have to learn something if you go on a trip, but I guess the point is, why would I talk about it unless there was something in it for you? And that's what's really important, isn't it? There are many, many things that I could tell you that I think you'd like to hear. That would be helpful, but rambling about all of them at once, well, that's going to lead to overwhelm, right? So instead, I want to concentrate on the first thing that's hitting my mind today as I prepare to talk to you, and that is awe and wonder versus news headlines.

Speaker 1: 1:06

So, from here in the UK, in the south of England, if I look at news headlines about America, it looks pretty bad, and I was aware when we booked the trip at the beginning of February this year that we would be going just before an election of February this year. That we would be going just before an election, and we all know the energy and the importance that goes into the American election. It's important for many reasons and it looks like from here that there's masses of division, there's a lot of protests, there's terrible things going on. There was also recently, obviously, the hurricane, which is really sad for the people involved. In general, when I read about America from here, it doesn't look like a fun place to visit. But this was my experience. So I spent three weeks in America just before an election and I didn't see anything terrible to do with the election. The worst thing I saw was in Portland and Seattle. They've got a big problem with homelessness and mentally ill people on the street. That's clear and that that's not very nice and it's not much fun and there's lots of reasons for that and I was aware of that and I think it's probably improved. So my expectations of it turned out to be both horrible to experience but also not as bad as had previously been reported. So I think they have made some changes. So I think they have made some changes, but in terms of the election and it feeling like America's this really divided society, what I found really really interesting was that I saw equal numbers of Trump and Harris signs outside people's homes Equal numbers and I didn't expect that I certainly didn't expect it.

Speaker 1: 3:03

In some of the areas that I knew were more likely to be one or the other, that was really interesting and often it was quite often actually it was people who were neighbours. Because we can disagree, right, we can disagree without actual horrible conflict. I believe we're all entitled to our own ways of viewing the world. That's the point, isn't it, of having a vote is that you can express different opinions. So that was interesting, really interesting, because I thought it would be more one way or the other. Like clusters. There wasn't. There was a real balance, even in traditionally Democrat or Republican areas. That was interesting and quite nice to see. Well, I viewed it as nice to see. I know that's partly my gently rebellious lens, but I saw that as interesting and refreshing and unexpected. As interesting and refreshing and unexpected Then, in terms of there's been lots of protests on college campuses.

Speaker 1: 4:09

I went to Oregon State University and there weren't any protests. That was nice and unexpected. There were a lot of students getting on with their lives, beautiful campus. What else, in the main, was just how much awe and wonder there is in the Pacific Northwest. Now, don't get me wrong. I was really aware that I was going to an incredibly beautiful place and that's why I was feeling overwhelmed before I went. I just couldn't figure out where to go, what to do. There's too much, what am I going to do? What if I miss the best things? All of that kind of normal pre-trip stuff. But the truth is it's all awe and wonder Like. Apart from those few things I've just told you, it was just all awe and wonder. People were incredibly friendly.

Speaker 1: 4:59

I had sunshine every day, apart from two mornings. I kid you not, I flew in and out of the wettest city in the United States with blue skies. That's one of my things is, I want sunshine wherever I go and I seem to manifest sunshine wherever I go. So that was beautiful because it meant we actually got to be outside. We actually got to see the country, because we weren't looking through the traditional mist and rain. That was really cool. Even when we went up to the top, to the Washington coast and the Olympic Peninsula, we only had one day, one morning, and that was the morning we were leaving of rain, and even then it wasn't terrible. Rain was the morning we were leaving, of rain, and even then it wasn't terrible rain. So that was really cool. How amazing is that? Beauty everywhere, beautiful weather, blue skies, friendly people, mountains everywhere.

Speaker 1: 5:54

I kid you not, it's just like oh, there's a mountain, oh there's a mountain, oh there's a mountain. Ridiculous number of mountains, ridiculous amount of beauty and so much space. So I often feel I don't know about you, but I often feel like there's not quite enough room for me. You know like I can feel very squished and I'm really aware that's my perception of taking responsibility for other people's happiness and that kind of thing, but it's also linked to news reports about this whole. There's too many people on the planet. We're ruining the planet.

Speaker 1: 6:25

I just went to America and there was so much space, so much beauty, so much clean air, clean rivers, wild forests, so much land, just so beautiful, and they've got a really, really good system, which I thought I wouldn't like. So over here, I kind of struggle with the whole. I don't really know what the statistics are. I read somewhere once and I really need to look it up properly Something like 95% of our country is privately owned, and even though we have the right to roam, there's just like most of the countryside we're not allowed in, which doesn't seem particularly fair.

Speaker 1: 7:01

However, what was really interesting about where I went in America is there's masses of land. It's more privately owned than here. I believe there's a lot of no trespass signs up. There's no right to roam, that's for certain. But what there is is a really good system of national parks and it's set up so you are welcome there. There's none of this. Oh no, we don't want you driving in the countryside, even though it's incredibly hard to access anywhere outside of cities without a car in this country. It was just all set. It was so welcoming, it's easy to park, it's easy to get to and also I also noticed that there was a real encouragement of both accessing the semi-wild because it's semi-wild, because they've set it up, so it's safe for you to access, but it's not so safe.

Speaker 1: 7:57

They've removed all of the danger and I really liked that because I'm really tired of being, I feel, overwhelmed by messages of don't do this, this is dangerous, make sure you've done this. Instead, there's just signs up saying things like this is coyote country, don't do this. If you see a coyote, throw something at it. If you have a child, pick them up. Like, don't run. Really interesting. Like I just can't imagine a sign like that in England because the health and safety is insane in my opinion. I just find it too much. Stop nagging me. Anyway. Bear country, you know, don't do this. This isn't a good idea. It's bear country. I loved it Also.

Speaker 1: 8:41

What was interesting to me is just the amount of forest wild forest. Now normally in this country when I drive anywhere where there's wood, it calls to me. I just want to be in the wood, I want to explore the wood. Over there drove past miles, hundreds of miles of dense wild forest and I did not want to get out of the car and go in it. I was so grateful for the organized national parks where there are trails that you can go on, and even then there's risk. There's definitely risk If it was snowing, if you met a bear. There's risk involved and as humans we need a certain amount of risk, otherwise it just doesn't work. It reminds me of this getting into the state of flow. To get into a state of flow that beautiful, time-bending, deliciously satisfying way of working or doing something, there needs to be the right balance between ease and challenge, and it feels like that to me in general as we move about. So if everything's sterilized, it's a bit like the difference between.

Speaker 1: 9:50

So National Trust properties, old houses, they have a lot of ropes. You're not allowed here, you're not allowed there. And then I went to Dunblane Castle and they didn't have that. They had to sit here, do this, do that. And it was so nice, it was so good because it just wasn't I didn't feel so cut off from it and I really appreciated that.

Speaker 1: 10:09

It's not a criticism, it's just an observation. This is what I like. God, I'm sounding a little bit concerned. I'm going to offend today. That's no good, is it? Let's drop that rubbish. It's a little bit of a criticism.

Speaker 1: 10:20

I don't want to be told not to do things all the time. It's really boring. I understand that you have to protect old chairs, but putting thistles and acorns on them to stop people sitting on them, I don't know. I'm just a bit bored of it. I don't know it's getting a bit tiring all the rules at the moment.

Speaker 1: 10:39

For me, anyway, that was something I really enjoyed was that freedom and safety together and yet there was danger. It just worked for me. I just loved it, and that meant I didn't resent being told that I wasn't allowed on most of the land. I just didn't resent it. It's like, well, there's loads of land. I don't want to go on the wild bits. I don't need to go and explore people's ranches. That's their business. They can keep their land. There's masses of land. So I guess there is a thing between we're a bit more squished here. I guess I don't know what the ratio of people to open spaces? I've no idea. Anyway, that was exciting. I enjoyed that. I enjoyed the feeling of open space, plenty of land, plenty of wild places Really exciting and just so much ridiculous beauty. What were the highlights for me? Tricky one. I'm actually writing my trip into a book book partly so I can re-enjoy it and partly because there's something for me in that.

Speaker 1: 11:47

We go through periods where we nearly destroy ourselves by being so overwhelmed. The next stage for me was sorting myself out and arranging my life so I could live in a way that was better for me. For me, the next part of the gentle rebellion is then continuing to push outwards and expand outwards more and more and more, even though it feels like you're at risk of going backwards into mass overwhelm. I've just noticed that in myself and my clients we want to keep things stable because there's no way we're going back into those horrific days of complete mass overwhelm and exhaustion. But the thing is, for me the overwhelm is partly caused by the fact that I really want to live fully. So if I stop myself going on big adventures, that doesn't help, because then I feel squished and then I get itchy feet and then I start sabotaging stuff around me. So for me it's how can I go on big adventures without overwhelm? How can I do it in a gently rebellious way? How can I do it in a way that works for me, which is what my Camino story was about earlier in the year and what the road trip I did. I did two road trips last year.

Speaker 1: 12:57

Road tripping is a really interesting experiment for me. And how can I kind of destabilize my life because all of the normal things are gone and there's nothing stable because you're literally moving every day. So there's so much unknown. There's a lot of unpredictability in a road trip and I like playing with that unpredictability and working out what works for me, what's not so good for me. How much beauty can I experience and still look after myself? Because the thing is you can put yourself in front of a beautiful view but not see it because you're completely overwhelmed.

Speaker 1: 13:35

So on a trip, I find it very easy to get overwhelmed by all the things that need to be sorted out or all the things that could go wrong. Or where are we staying tonight? What are we eating? Where's the toilet? Where's the toilet's a big one, right? Because when you're, when you're traveling, you're completely at the mercy of people allowing you to to use their toilets or good places.

Speaker 1: 13:59

For me, a mark of a good civilization is having clean, accessible toilets for everybody. That just seems like a fundamental thing for me. And one thing that I did find really good is that there are a lot of restrooms on a road trip, and so grateful for that. It makes such a difference. We all need to go to the loo. Come on, stop pretending we're like, oh, I don't need to go to the toilet, I don't need any help from anyone else. Yes, we do, and the services that are set up for road tripping are really good in America, and I really appreciated that, because I didn't know, I didn't sleep well every night.

Speaker 1: 14:34

I mean, you know, motels are interesting places, aren't they? Most of them are near main roads. There's a lot of noise. There's always excess crazy light in any accommodation anywhere. I've noticed some hotels are getting much, much better at not having that happen. Some of the hotels we stayed in had tiny nightlights in the bathroom, so you didn't have to switch on the bright light at night, and then that switches on the fan and then there's extract a fan for an hour after you've spent a penny in the night. That was good.

Speaker 1: 15:09

I appreciated that because I am one of those people I might not have told you this before, but I'm one of those people who has these blackout stickers. You can buy these tiny little dots that black out LED lights, and I bought them for my home and they're brilliant, and I keep them in my suitcase now, on my backpack, and I am the person who leaves them or, yeah, who sticks them in hotels so that everybody can sleep, because it's really not good for humans to have light everywhere at night. There is research on this, anyway. That's quite funny. So, yeah, not every night did I sleep brilliantly, but in general, I got enough sleep to be able to be fully present in the awe and beauty.

Speaker 1: 15:57

But, despite all of the exhausting aspects of organising and being on a road trip, there are two points in my road trip that I'd want to share with you that when I got there and I stood fully in that moment, feeling my feet on the ground, really absorbing the utter heart-filling, mind-opening beauty the Redwoods in Northern California. Yes, we went off off what you call it off piste. We, we did the pacific, we did the pacific not. You can't, you can't do the pacific. Northwest is enormous, so enormous. It completely overwhelmed me with choice.

Speaker 1: 16:42

As I've already said, we went down to northern california because our road trip was taking us so close to the border. We were like I can't not go and see the redwoods, how can you not go and see the redwoods? It was just too. So we drove a long way I think we drove eight hours just to go and see trees, because I love trees and these trees are truly magnificent, the redwoods, honestly, and they're not very, they're not huggable in any way.

Speaker 1: 17:10

So often I feel a connection with the tree in England and I I might lean against it and you know I feel sometimes I might hug it, but in general I'm not, I'm not too much of a hippie tree hugger, I'm more of a just like absorbing that energy and just feeling that earthiness and that connectedness and beauty. And I have a little chat with a tree I like trees. Anyway, with the redwoods they're not that friendly. They don't need to be. They're really old, but it's just so magical, so magical and they've got life sussed. They really have got life sussed. So this is what I worked out by reading some of the signs. I don't like reading all the information signs. I don't know about you, but when I'm out and about I don't really want to be absorbing words because my mind will eat words for breakfast and then I'm just in my head. Then I want to be out of my head and absorbing the world around me. So I didn't read all of the notices, but I did read something about Redwoods and they've got life sussed.

Speaker 1: 18:19

So the reason they're so old is because they're so tough, because they've worked it all out. This is what they do. They actually have really shallow roots, which is really not what you expect, is it? I mean they're ridiculously tall so that I felt like a shrunken person, like Alice in Wonderland or more actually, I felt like I was in Jurassic Park. It was like the sheer scale is just weird, like it's mind-bending it's. I'm sure it does something to your space time continuum thing. You know, like your experience of time and space, it certainly did with me. Things sound different. I don't know. It's just amazing. So good. Anyway, the reason they're so tall is because they're so old, because it's really hard to kill them, despite the fact they have shallow roots. Now they do sometimes fall over, but even when they fall over they still seem to be alive, they just keep going. So they have shallow roots but they have sideways roots that join to everyone else.

Speaker 1: 19:22

So everyone else, the other redwoods, so pretty much the only thing in a redwood forest is redwoods. There isn't there's not a lot of anything else going on, anything at all. So usually when I go into a wood there'll be lots of insects, and insects seem to like biting me. It was really annoying. Probably great for everybody else, because I'm like the canary. In the coal mine there were no insects biting me. There was a very strong piney smell and that keeps the insects at bay. So they have not shallow roots but sideways roots, which protects them. Then they have this smell which keeps insects off them from eating them, and then they also are relatively fireproof. So they were hollowed out by fire redwoods and they were still alive.

Speaker 1: 20:08

And we drove through the centre of two redwoods because they were obviously drive-through trees. Why wouldn't there be? Because that's fun and amazing, and what else? Oh yeah, they also, if they get stressed or damaged or for whatever reason, they make burrs. You know the lumpy bits on old trees. Apparently inside there are lots of I don't think they're seeds, but like ways of there's like thousands of mini trees ready to go off. So basically they've got like little tree egg sacks on them that you're not killing a redwood, I mean. You know it's pretty tough, which is why they're so old. So they're old because they're good at surviving. And now I'm getting another insight, thinking so what is it you need? What is it you need to survive and thrive? So that was interesting. That's a good question. So the redwoods have treat community to support them. They're really good at preventing insect attacks so they stay healthy and they can stay alive regardless.

Speaker 1: 21:13

They're just amazing. And they are genuinely so big. I just can't. I don't know how big they are. I didn't think about the size I photographed a size of. It's called the big tree, which is just hilarious, because big trees everywhere And've got that. So I do know that I could read it and tell you how tall they are, but who cares? They're just magnificent, really, really just incredible. And I stood there and I said to my partner this this one moment makes it worth it regardless, and once you have that one moment on a big trip doesn't really matter, does it like. That's it, that was worth it and it was. And the other moment, or actually moments, because they were repetitive.

Speaker 1: 21:58

So after we'd been down to northern california, we drove up highway 101 nearly the whole length of it, and that takes in the Oregon and Washington coast and the Oregon coast oh, my goodness, like I'm. I'm a beach person. I grew up on an Island. I love swimming, I love being in the sea. There's no way I was going in that sea. That sea is wild, wild and the driftwood is basically redwoods. So once again I felt tiny and like I was on. I could have been at any point in history. It's like going back in time. I don't know why. It just felt like that, it just felt incredible. And then there's these rocks, like so the most famous one is Cannon Beach, and you think, well, who wants to go to the most famous place? Yeah, go there. It's like so big, it feels like it's just you on the beach.

Speaker 1: 22:51

That was another thing that I found really heart-filling is you go to watch a sunset and other people gather the idea that humans are terrible and humans don't care about the environment and I don't know all that nonsense. You go somewhere beautiful, people gather in awe and silence. It's, there's something beautiful about that, that sharing of just the sun. The sun does it every day, right. So why? Why is it so important? Because it's awe and wonder. We crave awe and wonder. Just so beautiful. Yeah, the Oregon coast, cannon Beach, any of them, la Push, just, oh, my goodness, just incredible. So big, so wild, so much space, the energy of that sea, the sun shining on those rocks, just incredibly beautiful, incredibly beautiful. So that was another moment in time of I would have done anything to be here right now, anything.

Speaker 1: 23:57

So let's just wrap this up with my initial intention, which was the idea that if I place my attention, for me this is largely a reminder of the importance of controlling where I place my attention. Is where I'm placing my attention inducing fear and overwhelm? Or is it nourishing me? Because the news headlines aren't the truth and they're not a balanced view of the world? And there have been times in my life as I've talked about before the world. And there've been times in my life, as I've talked about before, where I've completely ignored the headlines and then, since COVID, I have got back into reading them. But I still just think why? Why am I doing that? And sometimes it's out of curiosity. There's lots of reasons and it doesn't really matter.

Speaker 1: 24:45

It's not, it's not the, it's not just where you place your attention, it's how you place it, isn't it? And recognising, oh, is that making me feel worse or is that helpful? Is it dragging me in? How does it feel in my body? Is it making me feel heavy in my heart? Things like that matter, of course. They matter because how you are in the world matters.

Speaker 1: 25:05

So in order to stand fully in those moments of awe and wonder, I have to be able to fully allow my attention to rest in that moment, to let go of everything else. Now, it's easier when something is so wondrous that it overwhelms me. And it does overwhelm me. That is one of the advantages of being easily, easily overwhelmed. I'm also easily overwhelmed by beauty, which also means sometimes I just needed a rest from looking at it. Yes, seriously, because there was just so much. Just oh, all wonder. Again, all wonder, all wonder. Oh, my goodness, it's so amazing tears. That doesn't mean this, that doesn't mean there was too much of it, oh no. It means it's safe to have a rest and look again, absolutely Just so good. So where I'm placing my attention matters hugely.

Speaker 1: 25:56

Before I went, I was interested to know how much of the picture of America that is given to me by what I read matched what's actually going on there. And I have been there before, just before election cycles, but not as close, not as close to an actual election date. And so to find happy people, not talking about politics, happily displaying well, I'm assuming, happily I didn't talk to them, you know but able to display opposite signs of voting next to their neighbours. I think that's a good sign. And most people that I saw seemed happy and healthy and there was a lot of community. We ate one night because there was nowhere else to eat, and we found ourselves at this roadhouse that was a bowling alley and was doing barbecue and it felt like the whole community was there. You know, there was a toddler in one of those baby pen things while the parents bowled and everybody was bringing each other food. There's just something really wonderful about seeing that, you know. Know, seeing humans thriving and getting on with each other and helping each other out, and people were so friendly, so so friendly, went out of their way to help us, be nice to us, grateful to have us in their shop, little chats with people.

Speaker 1: 27:28

There's so much good in the world, so it's been a big reminder to me about controlling my attention and being more, even more deliberate, or just upping, upping the ante again, recommitting to practices of starting my day with my morning promise. What am I committing to? What's my intention for the day? Where am I placing my attention? What am I reading? How is it making me feel? Is it setting me off into doom, gloom, fear, anxiety, problem solving? Or is it uplifting me? Is it making me celebrate everything that's good around me? Because, just as the overwhelm and the ease coexist, the awe and wonder and the terrible stuff, it all coexists. Is it helpful to focus on one more than the other? Well, you get to decide. It's your attention. It's precious. Thanks for listening. It's lovely to be back.