Ministry Coach: Youth Ministry Tips & Resources

5 Ingredients for an Ideal Youth Ministry Program!

• Kristen Lascola • Episode 185

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Are you looking to grow the size and health of your youth ministry?
GrowYourYouthMinistry.com ***** Are you ready to inject some serious energy & life into your youth ministry? In this episode we will be highlight the keys to a program that keeps students coming back for more!  We will be discussing the balance between free time and structured activities and sharing our secrets to creating an environment that's both engaging and inclusive. If you've ever struggled with tailoring your ministry to serve the unique needs of high school and middle school students alike, we've got you covered. We're divulging everything from the critical role of volunteers to the recipe for a youth group that buzzes with excitement, ensuring every young person feels seen and understood.  It's your roadmap to a magnetic youth ministry that's as impactful as it is fun!

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We love hearing from you all and we do our best to provide powerful and insightful youth ministry content on a weekly basis to be that coach and mentor you may not have, but desperately need.
If you have an episode idea, please E-Mail us at MinistryCoachPodcast@gmail.com!


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You may also enjoy these episodes:
(#151) Youth Ministry Planning: Weekend Service vs. Mid-Week Program

(#051) Youth Ministry Planning: Mid-Week Program Schedule

(#064) What's the Big Deal About Small Groups in Youth Ministry?

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Speaker 1:

Church should not feel like a burden. Yeah, youth group should not feel like an obligation. Sometimes youth pastors struggle and they say why can't get kids to come? How do you get kids to come? Are they giving me so many excuses of why they can't be there, and I always challenge that thought with is it an enjoyable experience? Because if it's truly enjoyable and you're hitting your target audience, kids will be banging down the doors to get there. Our methods can match our audience and it's no less spiritual If you want to get the gospel into as many students hearts and minds as possible, make your youth group, your church, the most enjoyable possible experience for a junior, higher or a high schooler, and watch them come in. Today we're talking about five ingredients for the ideal youth ministry program, and this is the program that is available for all of our youth.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the ministry coach podcast, where every week, we bring you actionable and practical tips that you can implement into your youth ministry. My name is Jeff Lascola and this is Kristen Lascola, and today we're talking all about five ingredients that make the ideal youth group.

Speaker 1:

I am trying my best there, diaphragm Okay. So these are elements that have to do mostly with program. So there are a lot of ingredients that make a really good youth ministry and we could probably make many an episode on that. So don't get caught up if these don't sound spiritual enough for you. These basically just make you feel like these basically just have to do with programmatic elements, kind of like framework for your youth ministry.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so like on a Tuesday night, wednesday night, whenever you're meeting midweek. What are the like non-negotiables that you would look at and say that was a good youth group. And I say all of these need to be present for me to feel like, yes, that is successful. So these are mine. Number one the right balance like putting so much effort towards striking the right balance between free time and structured time. So there should be both in your youth ministry on a program night. So, depending on whether or not you work, like high school, junior high, they need a different balance between the two of them. High school, their free time, hangout time, non-structured time can go longer. Junior hires need some. We can't structure every single minute.

Speaker 2:

They start destroying things if there's not structure.

Speaker 1:

Exactly, I call it recreationally destructive. So it's that like idle time, when they get a little bored and they start to get creative.

Speaker 2:

What can burn, what can break?

Speaker 1:

What can burn? They ask these questions, and let's channel that creative energy into something else, shall we? So for me, what this looks like is about 10 or 15 minutes prior to program starting for middle school, and if we have about 10 minutes after program, that's great too. During events I've even done like an intermission where, like, for example, the Glover Niter, we dance, we play a game, we watch a video, we play another game. Let's reopen the snack shack, go to the bathroom, get a drink, get a soda, go talk to your friends and I'll meet you back here in 15, 10 minutes.

Speaker 1:

So for a longer, like three, four hour event, I like sprinkling free time throughout it. But for a typical Tuesday night, which is 6.30 to 8.30 for me, I start the night at 6.35 and students start arriving by 6.15. So that's actually like 20 minutes of hangout time. I say 6.15. Right, that's what I wish. They're there at like 5.30. No matter what I do or say, they come at 5.30. So you wanna make sure that you don't overdo the free time, not only for the recreationally destructive but also unstructured. Time can be a blessing or a curse for a visitor. So they need a little time for maybe a friendly face to be like hey, what's your name, are you new, want to sit with us, whatever. But too much of that and a new person like doesn't know what to do with themselves, and it's really hard for an introverted person. Or if you have a youth group where maybe hate to say it, but like where students aren't super friendly and they're not reaching out, because then that person's gotta figure out what to do with themselves.

Speaker 2:

You're under the magnifying glass of awkwardness.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, and that's when you see kids start to pull out their phone and pretend to have something to do. So we want to make sure we strike that perfect balance between we had enough time to socialize, but not so much that it got awkward, it got boring, or kids tried to create their own fun. I always tell them that before we go to winter camp or summer camp I say, hey, I got all the fun, please don't make your own Like I. Just I don't trust you guys to make your own fun Cause what you think is fun.

Speaker 1:

you know it's subjective.

Speaker 2:

Let's just say that it puts buildings and people in danger. Fire codes get tested.

Speaker 1:

Yep and leaders vigilance and agility.

Speaker 1:

All right. Number two a perfect ingredient for the ideal youth group situation is plenty of caring, intentional, engaged adults. So I think, no matter what your size, the more adults good adults who are engaged and are bringing the energy, the better. Like I think it's sometimes hard cause you're like, oh, I have what if I have too many leaders? It's okay, like trying to find something for them to do, but I think things run smoother, things are safer.

Speaker 1:

There's someone looking out for, like the lost kid, the kid who's having a hard time engaging. Maybe the kid like you know, a kid who's upset and comes in can fly under the radar. But if you have enough adults, they see what's going on, more so than just a student leader would. So I feel like a really healthy youth group has a lot of engaged, healthy adults who are getting to know kids, making connections between kids, starting a pickup game with kids, you know, like during that hangout time, hey, let's go play a game together. Or helping with just tasks that need to be done. Or greeting parents as they walk in. When parents come in and they see adults, they feel way more comfortable too 100%.

Speaker 1:

You know, if it's just like a bunch of middle schoolers running around and it's like who's in charge here, you know? But I so often will have one of my leaders be like hey, this is Cindy, she just brought her son. You know, she wanted to meet you and they bring parents to me, but at least the first person greeting a parent is an adult and not a dodgeball to the face.

Speaker 2:

It has happened.

Speaker 1:

We've told that story before did not go well, never came back, and so the more engaged adults. I just feel like I've given so many examples, but it just honestly creates a healthy environment. It provides structure and you know when adults are there for the right reasons too, it's like they're excited to see kids. That energy is so contagious.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so number three, a non-negotiable for me on a program night is an element of excitement, of fun, of humor, of energy, like there's just gotta be that shot of something zany, like I don't, just something surprising or fun, or you know, I was talking to a parent recently and they had just moved to our church from a different church and they said you know, my kids loved our old church but it was so calm compared to our church.

Speaker 1:

And she meant it as a compliment because she said they would just kind of come in and sit and listen to the message and then leave, and she's like there wasn't a whole lot of opportunity for them to like get their energy out. And they really like the switch we've made, because they have this outlet for their energy and their excitement and there's somewhere for it to go. And I said, well, you know, instead of trying to wrangle their energy and like be quiet, stop talking.

Speaker 1:

I try to use that energy as fuel in the tank, but I'm just directing it where I want it to go. So I'm going to put it toward really fun icebreakers and funny videos and energetic games and high-energy music and some fun worship with hand motions, because an 11, 12, 13, 14 year old has energy on a mid week night when they've been at school and they've been doing homework. Maybe they were at practice that did expel energy, but it was so structured. I want them to have this opportunity to just be a junior hire. So create space for it to be fun and energetic and wild. Meet their energy. Don't try to compete with it.

Speaker 1:

Ride the wave you guys can't with energy. Let's use it toward our purpose instead of me trying to make you something you're not. So we can get really deep and all that kind of stuff. But we can also be really wild and have a lot of fun. I think my heart for all of this is I always want students to look at church as a place where they can be themselves. You know it's not like, oh, like wear a dress or a button-up and we have to be very somber and it's like we're always at a funeral or something you know. It's like we're at a wedding.

Speaker 1:

You know this is so exciting, Like we can celebrate our faith, and I want them to have that taste in their mouth, like, yes, like this was sweet, I look forward to coming here. So that's a non-negotiable for me. Number four another super important element for any program night for me is an impactful, relevant, age-appropriate and challenging message and worship session. I always teach a little above what I think they can handle because I want them to leave not like well, that was good, I understood every single thing perfectly. Honestly, I want them to leave a little challenged and maybe not understand everything, so that they might have to ask a good question in small group and get to the bottom of it. I don't want them to think I've heard this before, I already know this that just be a nice person, just be a good friend, just don't cuss, just share your stuff. You know like I want them for me.

Speaker 1:

Every time I listen to a sermon lately I've been listening to so much Tim Keller on the Gospel and Life podcast and every time I listen to one of his sermons, I'm waiting for the moment where I feel like he just punches me in the gut and I'm like, oh, that was a challenge, I needed to hear that. Or, oh my gosh, I've never thought of it that way. Or how did he know? I always want my students to leave with that just sobered moment of like dang that takes effort to teach a little above and get inside their mind of like, what are they trying to get away with right now? What are they hoping nobody knows about right now? What are they justifying to themselves over and over and over again? What is that lingering question of faith that they think they're the only ones that struggle with it?

Speaker 1:

I just want them always to have that like aha moment or whoa moment, not just like predictable Right, you know so to me that's a non-negotiable and along with that, worship. So my heart behind junior high worship is I really want it to be age appropriate. Like what you feel during worship might be different than what a student needs. So if you're having all the feels on like one particular song and you're like my students need this, that might be true, but keep in mind like if my students don't have a fast song where they are doing hand motions, it wasn't worship. You know, I don't need hand motions.

Speaker 1:

I'm totally fine without them for my own spiritual development. You're not looking to develop yourself spiritually on your program nights. You're Target audience is a student, so what do they need? Well, one of my students favorite songs is I don't know if you guys know this song. I'm gonna botch it cause my voice sucks right now, but victory, victory, okay.

Speaker 2:

Does that Spider-Man, Spider-Man Interesting?

Speaker 1:

Okay, but what I was gonna say Crowder?

Speaker 2:

has done it again.

Speaker 1:

Is they like docy-dough during this one part and they like link arms and do this cute little dance and they-.

Speaker 2:

Sling some webs.

Speaker 1:

They get so excited and then they like can jump, and they do this little like air punch, and every week they're like are we doing victory, are we doing victory, are we doing victory? Look how excited they are about worship. And you might be thinking, well, that's not like they just wanna dance. It's like come on, let's meet them where they're at. If you can get a kid excited for worship because they got to docy-dough and jump in the air, I'm here for it.

Speaker 1:

You know, like I think sometimes as youth pastors we need to take it seriously, but make sure that we're not forcing them to be at a level they aren't yet, because it makes us feel better about ourselves. Like, well, my group's very serious and that means that they're very spiritual. It's like that could be serious spirituality for them. They're begging for it. So why not meet them where they're at? That's my philosophy on worship is, make it age appropriate so that they are so excited, not bored to death, because what bores them to death might be the deepest song in your feeling, the Holy Spirit, but you're not the same. So be careful of that trap, I guess.

Speaker 2:

You also do. How many worship songs do you play in a midweek? Three, Three, but you also kind of you ramp.

Speaker 1:

The energy is peaked in the beginning and then you slowly dial it down through the next two songs, correct, Yep to kind of funnel the energy down, because then the message is coming and I need them to chill a little.

Speaker 2:

And that's. We've done a episode and I know on YouTube we've done a short, specifically recently actually about this, but it's basically taking them from that high energy game time into high energy worship and then slowly bringing it down to the message, where they're calm and they can listen.

Speaker 1:

Yep, absolutely, it is so strategic. So you take that energy, you capture it and you let it fly and then you bring it in. You bring it in, you bring it in and then they're sitting and listening. Oh bully, that's a dream for them to sit and listen. All right. Number five, a non-negotiable for me at any program night treats. For me, this is a hospitality element. So again, thank you so much for watching, meeting them where they're. At the first question, our kids ask when they come into church doughnuts, did you save me a doughnut? Where are the doughnuts? Where are the treats? Where are the cookies? And there's just this association of like Churches, fun and church tastes good. Yeah, it's gonna be a good time. I think that hospitality and comfort element is important for programs. So the way we accomplish that out of midweek program would be through our snack shack. You know we sell everything super cheap. It's like a dollar yet soda, or maybe we had to go up to dollar fifty inflation.

Speaker 1:

Yeah you know candy soda, pizza, ice cream, all the usual. But then a fun twist I like to do is theme treats for events. So we just did a Valentine's Day party. We did cupid floats like ice cream with the strawberry soda or strawberry Fanta and that was for a dollar at the cafe. It was just that extra special menu item. Sometimes during football season We'll do like a tailgate themed youth group night and we'll do nachos and root beer floats and Sometimes, if I do a late night, we do one a year where we do super chaos. Chaos is the name of our youth group. Super chaos goes an extra hour. I rent a cotton candy machine just for another fun little element a A dollar for cotton candy. When the eighth graders leave will do a little luau and will barbecue burgers, then have shaved ice and shave ice, I know.

Speaker 2:

I want to say shaved, shaved ice. I'm okay with shaved ice snow cones for the layperson.

Speaker 1:

So just theme it, having a luau or whatever, just a fun little treat just adds a lot, especially for junior hires. I would really say their love language is treats. You know, again, this is so much of this list of five is really knowing your audience. If a junior hire leaves church without Having a hot chocolate, a cookie, a doughnut, a piece of candy, it's like what do we even?

Speaker 1:

exactly it was not a win for them and they look forward to it, like, why not, right? It just kind of creates an atmosphere and creates fun and a Comfort element of like, hey, we're taking care of you and you can come here and enjoy, and so we can kind of wrap it up with that. But I think for me the bottom line is you should enjoy, enjoy. Like church should not feel like a burden, yeah, youth group should not feel like an obligation. Sometimes youth pastors Struggle and they say, oh, I can't get kids to come, like how do you get kids to come? Or they give me so many excuses of why they can't be there and I always challenge that thought with Is it an enjoyable Experience? Because if it's truly enjoyable and you're hitting your target audience, kids will be banging down the doors to get there.

Speaker 1:

I truly believe that it doesn't mean your youth group is Terrible if. If they aren't coming, it just means Maybe asking yourself that question of am I trying to get them to be someone that they're not? Am I trying to get them to be somewhere spiritually that they're not? Am I Mistaking elements in my own life for student spirituality and do I need to Adjust my methods for my audience. Now, we never just a message. The gospel is the gospel, but we can adjust our methods of getting the gospel into the hearts and minds of a 12 year old and a 13 year old. So the message stands. I would and like I said, I challenge them in the teaching and stuff like that, but our methods can match our audience right and it's no less spiritual.

Speaker 1:

So if you want to get the gospel into as many students hearts and minds as possible, what do they want? Right? And and make your youth group, your church, the most enjoyable possible Experience for a junior higher or a high schooler, and watch them come in yeah walk to it.

Speaker 1:

And another Negotiable for me I'll just mention real quick is small groups. Make sure you're doing small groups once a week. To me that's like a staple of what we do. We have a ton of episodes on that, but small groups of course. But these are just the elements that I'm like I would not get rid of any of these.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, some youth pastors will argue like, well, if you have a lot of fun, like that's what they're gonna come for.

Speaker 2:

And I know it's like well number one would you rather have kids coming for fun and hearing the gospel or just not coming because it's not fun? I mean, honestly, you have to ask yourself what is really a better scenario. Number two I would also challenge that and say most of the time, or a lot of times, they might be coming because it's a fun game, there's a fun environment, but they end up always loving small group time.

Speaker 1:

Is it not funny being?

Speaker 2:

impacted by the message and it's like so it's serving its purpose.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely Every week I interview kids like as we're getting started, because they love talking on the microphone and so they're all coming in and I have the wireless mic and I'm just running around the room and I'll be like what's your favorite part of chaos? Most of the time they say worship. Most of the time they say small groups Very, I get a few that say the game, but I'm like, oh well, you're here and you're gonna hear the gospel whether you like it or not. So it's like, oh well, you're here, but you're right, it's crazy. And even like, when all the events I do all year long, when I say what was your favorite event we did, they'll always say starving to serve or like some event where they-.

Speaker 2:

Or it's a serving event. Yeah, not a party or something Exactly.

Speaker 1:

So that might be why they come, that's not why they stay.

Speaker 2:

Definitely. We also did an episode, along with the small group episodes. We'll link those down below but just kind of an overall overview of a regular service, midweek service schedule, so like what happens and why we do what we do and how many minutes go into what and all that. It's something you might wanna take a look at and just see if there's something you can adjust or trim to fit based on your group and your timeframe, things like that. So make sure you check that out. We're gonna do a question of the day and this is for all of you on the YouTube world, on the YouTube world, in the YouTube world. This is what is the scariest.

Speaker 1:

This has like nothing to do with anything.

Speaker 2:

They never are.

Speaker 1:

So random.

Speaker 2:

What is the scariest animal you've ever had in your yard? I was gonna say in your house, but we'll say yard.

Speaker 1:

Yard, which would include the house. Well, I would say a tarantula, a tarantula Our five year old called it a tarantula. I was hoping that would never happen to me.

Speaker 2:

And it did.

Speaker 1:

I hate tarantulas.

Speaker 2:

Less than a year ago and it was so fast.

Speaker 1:

It was like going insane, like it was all slow and Jeff was trying to like scoop it into a box and all of a sudden it like woke up or something and I was like, and I was like, and every time I see one, it makes me feel like my spine just turned into jello.

Speaker 2:

Like so gross.

Speaker 1:

Also, I was taking the dog to go potty once at night Luckily she was on a leash, cause she's a wiener dog and this giant coyote just started running up the grass. I thought it was coming toward us, but then it jumped over the fence and left our yard. But that was kind of scary.

Speaker 2:

They split, they were coming at us and then they went two different directions. It was freaking.

Speaker 1:

It was kind of scary.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I would say we live in Southern California but we're kind of in the more rural area, so we do get some interesting critters. But we had a rattlesnake a long long time ago. That was pretty scary. It was a baby, but they say like that can be worse cause they don't know how much venom to give. I'm like I just don't want to get bit. It could be like a snake with no teeth. I just don't want to get bit. You know If they're venom or not, they're just scary. But in the comment section below this could be interesting because we have viewers and listeners from like all over the world. Someone just the other day oh, what country was it? We had South Africa, but there was another one somewhere I was. I think it was a first for what I remember. Anyways, it doesn't matter. Now. Cool story, bro. I know I may or may not edit that entire section out.

Speaker 1:

It was a country, they were from somewhere. Ah, interesting, that was your country. Let us know.

Speaker 2:

No, even in the United States like wherever you go that you get just weird animals.

Speaker 1:

Like they have it yeah.

Speaker 2:

That we don't have here. You know, vice versa.

Speaker 1:

You know what my dream come true would be? Sloth, no well, yes, I want a fox in our yard, but I don't think we have foxes. If you've ever had a fox in your yard, please comment below. I want to at least meet a person who met a fox. I love foxes. They're real cute.

Speaker 2:

All right, this is the community comment of the day. This comes from Jesse Miller, mma 7261, who says I start this weekend my first day with my church. Thank you for the great advice. You're welcome. Hope it went well, jesse. Yeah, and we appreciate you guys all watching and listening and we will see you next time.

Speaker 1:

Hey, this is Bob. Well, I thought that was a lawn mower, a comfder, I can't talk, and I was like Bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh.

Speaker 2:

Bleh.

Speaker 1:

Bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh.