Ministry Coach: Youth Ministry Tips & Resources

Are You Busy or Burning Out? Youth Ministry Tips (+ GIVEAWAY for the 200th Episode!)

• Kristen Lascola • Episode 200

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200th Episode Giveaway!!  (Details below!) Being busy isn't bad....working hard isn't bad...but burning out is bad.  Are you curious about how to balance hard work and avoid burnout during some of the busiest seasons of ministry? In this episode we unpack the critical distinction between working diligently and experiencing burnout. Learn how to recognize the signs of true burnout versus the natural stress of hard work, and discover valuable strategies to maintain your effectiveness without compromising your well-being. We'll also reflect on the importance of understanding different seasons in ministry and the responsibility we have to ensure our efforts are meaningful and impactful for our student ministry.

Don't miss our exciting giveaway celebrating our 200th episode!  Prizes include: 1 Year Subscription to Youth Ministry University, G Shades Curriculum, Chameleon Colors Colored Powder, Black Light Castle Sports 9 Square Balls and more! 

To enter the giveaway, email us at MinistryCoachPodcast@gmail.com and put "FREE200" in the subject line or body of the email.  Also, please include your name, church and location as well.  Full giveaway details, rules and regulations can be found in the description of this episode's YouTube version here: https://youtu.be/Fuf3E16tMnU

***If you are looking to GROW your youth ministry, check out the Youth Ministry Growth Accelerator!

📕 Book mentioned in this episode:
A Contrarian's Guide to Knowing God by Larry Osborne:  https://amzn.to/4cHlSZT

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You may also enjoy these episodes:

(#111) Plan a Whole Year of Youth Group Games in Under 30 Minutes

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Speaker 1:

Are you busy or just burnt out? That's the question we're gonna be answering on today's episode, and stick around to the end, where we tell you all about how to enter our 200th episode giveaway.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we bring you weekly tips and tactics to help you fast-track the growth and health of your youth ministry. My name is Jeff Laskola and this is Kristen Laskola. And this is our 200th episode.

Speaker 2:

Believe it or not, we've been doing this for four years now, I believe, and this is officially the 200th episode, so we wanted to celebrate. We are going to do some content here, because that's what you came for. If you don't care about a giveaway, that's fine. Plus, if you're watching this down the road, it would be over anyway. So we will give you some valuable content, but make sure you stay till the end to find out how you can enter, because we have some really cool prizes we're giving away this year, or this giveaway.

Speaker 1:

Yes, very exciting, 200. It's flown by. But today we're going to talk about what is the difference between working hard and burnout. Because you know like when people are kind of stressed and they say I have anxiety, it's like no, you're just stressed, like, and that's a, that's an OK response. Anxiety is something completely different, panic is something completely different. But we just sort of label, like when I feel really stressed, I have anxiety. And in the same way, when we feel like we're working really hard, we might mislabel that burnout.

Speaker 1:

And I was in a student ministries meeting with our senior pastor, chris Brown, the other day and he was diving in with us talking about the difference between true burnout and no, you're just working hard and that's okay. And I thought summer would be a perfect time to do that because as youth pastors, our schedule does not slow down in summer. I feel like sometimes people are like, yay, it's summer. And I'm like, oh my gosh, it's summer, like I'm a parent. So it's like, okay, well, they're out of school and they have a lot of needs and my job ramps up.

Speaker 1:

So now my job as a parent and my job as a youth pastor both ramp up at the same time and it's like are we working hard or are we actually burning out and just making sure we're towing that line carefully and knowing that there is a difference? And it's okay to work hard and we're going to talk about that in a second but everything has a season, right. So summer is a season for me. That is really, really busy and, like Chris Brown, our senior pastor always reminds us, seasons have a beginning and they have an end. So if you're just crazy busy running around like a chicken, with your head forever and ever, and ever and ever and ever.

Speaker 1:

That's not a season, that is unhealthy ministry. So we were created to work and I think that hit me a few years ago when I was thinking that God assigned Adam his labor prior to the fall and I thought that's very interesting. Now his work got harder, it got more difficult exponentially after the fall, you know, because the ground was cursed and started rebelling against him and not making his job easy. But nonetheless, work was assigned prior to the fall, which means we were made to work.

Speaker 1:

God works, we work and work is supposed to bring pleasure and purpose and it's actually a really good thing and hard work believe it or not is a really good thing. So hard work is okay. But then he was kind of challenging us of when does that become unhealthy? And so in our humanness and our fallenness and our sinfulness we can take like we do something that was meant for good and meant for purpose and create unhealth out of it.

Speaker 1:

We're so good at that, aren't we? And we can become workaholics. We can put work ahead of everything. Or maybe your personality you swing more on the other side of the pendulum as we are super lazy and we're not being productive or fruitful or effective in our work.

Speaker 1:

And one really sobering thought is I got a phone call from a mom the other day about our summer camp and she's like I'm so sorry, you don't want to be that mom. I have so many questions and I keep bothering you. And I said whoa, let me stop you there. You are not that mom, trust me. But I said also your tithe dollars pay my salary. I work for you. I mean, we all know we work for the Lord, duh.

Speaker 1:

But I was basically like I'm here for you, I'm here to serve. I only have a job because you tithe and send your kids to youth groups. So at your service, madam. You know when I was happy to take her phone call and so I think that mindset sometimes we like if we were to have to turn in a time audit of our week to the tithing members of our church, could they sit there and go? Yes, money well contributed and I am proud that we can sustain a youth pastor at our church. Or would they look at that time audit and be like, oh my goodness, what is this person doing?

Speaker 2:

One hour blowing up balloons.

Speaker 1:

That is a legitimate role.

Speaker 2:

Two hours cleaning mustard out of the carpet in the church sanctuary. Well, now they're just feeling sorry for us and maybe they'll give us a tip.

Speaker 1:

Now they're just feeling sorry for us and maybe they'll give us a tip. But could you stand by your work week and be proud? Like some people have a guilt gene and they just feel like I have to work, work, work to earn my worth?

Speaker 1:

You know that's kind of an unhealthy place. But you understand what I'm saying is could we stand by our work, contribution and performance each week and the tithing members of our church be proud? So that's kind of the line we're trying to tow here Not be lazy but not be workaholics. We were created by a God who works, to work and gain pleasure and purpose from that. So when does it become unhealthy? Here's when it becomes unhealthy.

Speaker 1:

Chris said this the other day, which I'm like this makes so much sense. He says you can be burnt out. Working 20 hours a week. That's not a full-time job. 20 hours a week you could burn out. If you're unhealthy you could work 60 hours a week and be perfectly healthy and perfectly balanced. It's not necessarily about the amount of hours, it's how you steward those hours and those times. And our spiritual health has so much to do with our level and our capacity for burnout. So our hours don't necessarily lie, they are what they are but they don't really tell the whole truth. And if you're married, one of the best ways to gauge the health of your ministry, he said, is by your spouse. So if you know, like how do you know who John Acuff is?

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So he posted this thing one time and he said my wife and I, like, had a pretty decent marriage and then we decided to go on this marriage retreat and everything blew up like it was the worst.

Speaker 2:

So don't go on any marriage retreats Number one Kind of no, not really here's.

Speaker 1:

Here was his point is. They thought like me, and you are happy, we're doing pretty good, let's just sharpen it up a little bit. Let's just sharpen it up a little bit. But trying to fit their marriage into the mold of the latest speaker, the latest conference, the latest marriage book was like, oh, I guess we're doing this all wrong. And then it just caused all these fights.

Speaker 2:

But if the Interesting yeah.

Speaker 1:

Well, like, have you ever heard people say, like I love journaling and that's what makes you closer to god? And blah, blah, blah, blah. Well thou shalt, journal is not in the bible, but it's a practice, it's a discipline that helps certain people so like if someone who doesn't do that or enjoy that exactly puts that into their life they're trying.

Speaker 1:

That's what larry osborne says in contrarians guide to christianity. You should pick it up. It's a good book, basically saying, like all these things that Christians say you should do, and then you try to do them and you're like this doesn't work for me, you might be forcing it. So he, chris, is saying when it comes to your schedule, if your spouse is happy with the way you're doing, ministry would be by your relationships and your life, you know, are you creating margin for people that are important for your family, for your friends, for your significant other, for the people that matter to you, like if they can say man, you can never hang out, man, you're always stressed, or you know, you never call.

Speaker 1:

You always say you're busy, you're always at work late, you miss out on Bible study or events or social things because you're working. You know, if you're single, ask those people. If you're married, ask your spouse and say, hey, how am I doing? And if they're like great, you can work 60 hours a week and be healthy. You can find ways to be relationally intentional, even with a huge workload. If you're stewarding and managing your time really well, again, you could be working 20 hours a week and using that as an excuse for I'm stressed, I'm burnt out because you're not focused, you're not purposeful, you're not stewarding your time well, and that's when burnout happens. It's more of an internal condition of your own spiritual life, your own stewardship, your own mental health, and here's the truth is, you have to be I think they called it divinely selfish. In a way is because you have to. Here's a lazy way to do your schedule that would lead to burnout is letting everyone else dictate what you do.

Speaker 1:

Every time you get asked to do something, you say yes because you don't want to let anyone down. You do things that are quite unnecessary but that just suck up your time, because you're too afraid to say no. Who are the people that need to be ticked off at you? Identify those people and just be okay with it.

Speaker 1:

Chris said, those people cannot be your family. Well, my spouse is just going to have to be ticked off because I took on way more than I should have. Like, no, no, no, you're not allowed to tick off that person, but there's people who will. Hey, can you perform this wedding? Can you do this counseling? Can you meet with this person? Can you do a free training for this? Can you speak at this thing? Can you help us with this? On Saturday, we need another camp counselor. We're short people. Can you drive to this event?

Speaker 1:

I mean, the level of needs will just go and go and go and go, and I think it's tempting, especially people in ministry, because they want to serve, they want to help and sometimes they want to be liked, and it's all a mixed bag of motivation, right. But you have to be selfish with your own schedule, because you've got to protect yourself. The moment you lose yourself, you lose your ministry Because, like we've said before I learned this from Chris you are the most important person in your ministry, not because you are the most important person, but the health of the ministry flows from your own spiritual, mental, emotional, physical health, like the ministry that you do, flows from you. So protect that at all costs and be willing to say no to who you need to say no to. And so if you're finding yourself in that place this summer where you're like I'm burnt out, maybe take a pause for a second. Say am I? Am I just in a working hard season and that's okay. Make sure that season comes to an end.

Speaker 1:

You know well, I got to make it through August 17th. That's when everyone goes back to school, that's when our camps will wrap up, and you know. And then you can, you can rebalance that. So sometimes on my time sheet, I'm on salary, but they still make us like turn in our hours. It's like California law, I think, and so Sometimes I'll be turning this thing in and it's like 75 hours or 120 hours and I'm like, whoa, I worked a lot, okay.

Speaker 1:

So then, when you have a moment to breathe, work a shorter week, the next week, if you can.

Speaker 1:

You might be saying, yeah, sounds nice, but make it happen, work it out, get your youth group stuff done ahead of time and show up late just ready to plug and play and go cancel a lunch or a meeting and reschedule it for another time. If it doesn't, if it's not time sensitive, just try to make up for it in other places. If you're putting pedal to the metal, make sure that's offsetting somewhere else and then get get your breath. And then and then do it again. But make sure when you find yourself in that tough season of like I feel like I'm go, go, go, go, go look at your calendar and ask yourself can I identify when this will end? And if not, if you're like, no, this is the rest of my life, then you're either in an unhealthy environment, a church that's pushing you too hard, or you're not managing your own time well. And then, if you look at your hours and you're like, I feel burnt out, but I really didn't accomplish anything, this week.

Speaker 1:

Okay, that's like major red flag of work habits and probably something bigger going on spiritually and emotionally, where you're just either depressed or depleted or have some personal things going on that are creeping into your ability to focus and just get stuff done. So I guess bottom line is burnout is very scary. None of us want to go there. We don't want any of you to get there, but if you're working hard, that's okay.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

When will it come to an end where you can take a reprieve, because that's the cycle of ministry, right?

Speaker 2:

And is your hard work sucking the soul out of you? Or is it just you can work hard but be content with the work you're doing? Sure, I don't think we should ever not work hard, I think here's the impression I get.

Speaker 1:

I'll be honest, I get the impression people are are so afraid of burnout, are so afraid of hard work, are so afraid of being tired or depleted that they see it way at a distance, on the horizon, and make a lot of decisions up front like no, I can't do that. No, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't probably I think sometimes people underestimate their own capacity.

Speaker 1:

In my experience that with like that just seems more common than whoa I'm doing so much I'm legitimately burnout. It mostly seems to me people are very their capacity. They don't realize what their capacity could be.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And be healthy at the same time.

Speaker 2:

What would you say for the person? Because you mentioned like you could be working 20 hours a week and be burnt out. What if that burnout is becoming is because I have 30 hours worth of work I need to do, but I only have 20 hours of time to do it.

Speaker 1:

You mean like they only work part time or something?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, because there's a lot of bivocational youth ministers that might be feeling burnout, maybe in ministry. Maybe some of it's coming because of the other job that they have too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

What if they're feeling the pressure because it's like, well, I want to be able to do a great job as a youth pastor? But, I, really only have 20 hours to get that done, but I probably need 30 or I might even need 40 to make it what I want it. Do you just say scale back, or like how would you work your time so that in within the time that you do have to do it, you're not burning yourself out?

Speaker 1:

Well, if you have the option to have a team, get a team. If you're not allowed to hire, then if there is a volunteer who's willing to input data for you, do attendance for you, do tasks that are teachable. I don't think they can teach for you on the weekend, so give them things like like I had one of my interns help me get ready for a talk and just get my illustration ready because, it was like a physical illustration, but he didn't do the message. But that shaved off half an hour of my time.

Speaker 1:

And it was great. I don't pay him. He's a lot of tasks that only you can do as the youth pastor. And then there's a lot of tasks that student leaders can help you with a capable high school or college student, tasks that your volunteers or volunteer interns can do. So I think I would look outside and see is there something I can push to another person? And then I would do a serious time audit and I would see am I spending too much time doing what doesn't matter? You know, like when you used to edit wedding videos, you would like show me like okay, like this shot of the cake, but this one's really good. But see this one, I don't know what one to use. I'm like I don't know any of them. They all look good.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. And you would like stress over which one you fixate on the insignificant.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, when it's like well, the person who's going to receive that video isn't going to know about those other cuts and they're going to love all of it and it's going to be great, so move on so it some.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes I think we spend too much time doing things that don't matter, and so doing a time audit is really helpful. And then the next thing I would do if I was strapped for time is I would really consider carving out an hour putting headphones in, making sure nobody bothered me, and do some bulk planning, because I cannot tell you I've talked about it on so many episodes but what that has done for our ministry I have. I have gotten countless hours back by putting things. On this day I am playing um nine square right in inside. On this day I am playing nail polish dodgeball, and then all I do is look at my calendar. I'm like, oh, okay, I gotta get this, this and this and we're done.

Speaker 1:

I'm not sitting there like, oh no, because then the panic sets in and then your job feels bigger than it is. But when your calendar tells you what to do, yeah and you're just fulfilling that it. I mean the hours that it's crazy.

Speaker 2:

So there's a science, I think in psychology, behind it too, because if you're saying I'm gonna, we have an episode actually, if you want to check it out all about how to plan a year's worth of games in 30 minutes. And part of the reason is because when you focus in on one specific task, like bulk task, you're saying okay, I have now my calendar in front of me, I know what game I front of me, I know what game I'm playing midweek, I know what game I'm playing Sunday and then the next week. You're like now I'm going to. I did an indoor game, now I'm going to do an outdoor game.

Speaker 2:

And if you kind of lay that out and you can see it real time, kind of like indoor outdoor screen game, indoor outdoor, you know, however you're going to align it, you're not going week by week and being like, okay, wait, what did we play last?

Speaker 1:

exactly what. How did that? What did what should we do this week and then, and then, okay what game have we not played in a while?

Speaker 2:

if you have everything in front of you, or even like planning your message series, let's play. Let's do this for this week or these three weeks and then the next three weeks. We're going to do this and so that you're kind of like in that mindset of the bulk planning, you can get all that stuff done and see the bigger picture.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Instead of constantly have that they say. That's like one of the worst habits is constantly shifting gears because your brain has to take some time to reset, like reorient, re-evaluate where you are Exactly how many? Times during the day you say what am I doing?

Speaker 2:

Like where am I at. But when you're in focus mode, it's like no, I'm doing games, I see exactly where I need and I can. We're doing dodgeball on this day, two months later, I'm gonna put dodgeball here, and yeah, it just. It's so much easier when you're in the bulk planning mindset to get tasks done as you were talking.

Speaker 1:

It made me think about the first point too. When your calendar tells you what to do, it's so much easier to get help. So, for example, if I'm, if, if johnny, he's the intern that helped me the other day, if I say if he goes kristen, how can I help like I don't know, because I don't know what we're doing?

Speaker 1:

right, haven't planned it yet but if I already know next week we're playing deadly dice. Then johnny says how can I help? Okay, here's what I need you to do between now and next tuesday I need you to make sure we have 10 pairs of die. We need papers, pens. I need it all put on the stage ready to go.

Speaker 1:

I need you to cut this amount of paper and then get ice, ice baby queued up on the whatever on the Spotify. So it's like, well, now I can actually use help because I know what I'm doing, whereas in the moment, the most stressful thing for me as a leader is when someone's like how can I help you?

Speaker 2:

And I'm like I don't even know what I'm doing. How do I?

Speaker 1:

even know how to use you, and then you're just telling that person, like, hang on a second.

Speaker 2:

Right, get out of my way is usually what you're telling them. What do I?

Speaker 1:

do you know? So just yeah, there's a lot of benefits to that. So if you're trying to squeeze a lot of ministry in a short amount of time as a bivocational youth pastor, that's how I would do it, and these are the things that keep us from burnout, like being able to do this for the long haul. You're going to be tired. Summer camp prep, summer camp execution, summer camp aftermath we're going to be tired. We don't do summer camp every week so we can get through it and then, in the weeks to come, adjust your schedule so that you have that reprieve and you continue to live a pattern of health and ministry. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

All right. Well, let's talk about the giveaway, because, for those of you who are excited about the giveaway, maybe that's what you're waiting for, so let's get into that, all right. So our 200th giveaway. Here are a few things that we are giving away, and I'll also share with you how to enter after that, and make sure you check the YouTube description below If you're listening on a podcast. If you're listening on a podcast, it has the link to the youtube video. But those are the official giveaway instructions and details and how to enter, all right.

Speaker 2:

So one of the things we'll be giving away is a one-year subscription to youth ministry university, which is a training platform for you and your volunteers. Brought to you by the wonderful people at download youth ministry, valued at 249, this all-access pass can help you and your volunteers increase your skills and be much more effective in your youth ministry. The instructors for these videos are just a ridiculous all-star lineup, including Doug Fields, josh Griffin, katie Edwards, heather Flees, doug Franklin and many other familiar voices in youth ministry. So make sure you check out Youth Ministry University at ymuniversitycom for more information. Make sure you check out Youth Ministry University at ymuniversitycom for more information. Another prize you can win is a 120 count box of 100 gram packets of colored powder from Chameleon Colors. That was super confusing. So basically it is over 25 pounds of color powder which are packaged in 120 different 100 gram packets.

Speaker 1:

You get a lot of colors.

Speaker 2:

Hopefully that clarified it. This is going to make your next color powder war absolutely amazing. So make sure to check out chameleon colors at chameleon colors dot com, and you can even check out the video review we did of their great products on our youtube channel as well. All right, next three winners will receive three castle sports official black light nine square balls. If you don't already have a nine square set from Castle Sports, what are you even doing with your life? Head over to castlesportscom and check out their nine square sets. We've had ours for years and it's been a game changer.

Speaker 1:

No pun intended.

Speaker 2:

So easy to set up and it's super easy to tear down. You can bring it to camp, the beach, whatever. It's light, it's portable, it's durable. It's a must have. You can bring it to camp, to beach, whatever. It's light, it's portable, it's durable. It's a must-have. Don't miss the review we did on that as well, on our YouTube channel Also, one winner will receive a set of six 6-inch soft skin foam dodgeballs from RhinoSkins, valued at $50, because no youth ministry is complete without a good quality set of dodgeballs. And yes, headshots do indeed count. What about eye shots? It's part of the head so it counts.

Speaker 2:

And finally, this prize is really cool. One lucky winner will be receiving G Shades Youth Ministry Curriculum, which is the Season 6 Base G Curriculum, valued at $579. This is a year's worth of video messages, teaching manuscripts, small group guides, games and graphics. All you can handle. This is gospel centered youth ministry curriculum to help you and your students grow in their faith. Such a sweet prize. Go check out gshadesorg for more information.

Speaker 2:

Okay, that was a lot, but now you probably want to know how do you enter? It's easy send us an email at ministrycoachpodcasts at gmailcom and either in the subject line or in the body of the email write free 200 and that will enter you into the giveaway. Also, please include your name, church and where you are located If you are looking to increase your chances of winning here. A few ways you can do that. Number one leave a review of our podcast at Apple Podcasts. Make sure we can attribute it to you. So, podcast at Apple Podcasts, make sure we can attribute it to you. So email a screenshot of your review again at ministrycoachpodcasts at gmailcom, and you will get 25 extra entries. If you have previously reviewed our podcast, send us a screenshot of that and it will still count.

Speaker 2:

Number two, answer the question of the day for any episode released between today, which is June 27th 2024 and July 18th 2024. And you will receive five additional entries for each question. You answer for a maximum of 20 additional entries. So if you're listening on a podcast player, make sure you head over to this episode on YouTube and comment on the question of the day. Also, make sure you check in the description of this episode on YouTube to see the full rules and regulations for this contest. But right now, here is the question of the day what have you liked and enjoyed the most from this podcast? Over 200 episodes.

Speaker 1:

That is so easy and it is when we hear life change, ministry change from our listeners, because we do this every week and there's so many people that probably listen that have never commented or written us or anything, which is fine. I'm one of those people. I hardly ever like write a comment or reach out to people, but I love their content and what they're doing, and so, as a content creator, now, from the other side, when our listeners reach out and they say here's how your content changed my youth group, my church, how I work, how I do ministry, how I like, it is like, oh my gosh, like let's go another 200.

Speaker 1:

You know, I just that just puts wind in my sails and I love seeing results.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Just real results. Results and I love the course, like that's been one of my favorite parts too. You know the podcast goes out to the masses, but getting to do the the youth ministry growth accelerator course and get to really know those people and hear their stories like in, like when we do our Zoom meetings and work through the material with them and just see how their ministries are so much better, it's like gives me such satisfaction, like I think kind of that's what I was made to do. Like I love leading leaders.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I was going to the second part there was. I was going to agree with that. That's probably my favorite thing is, with the course, being able to kind of put faces to names.

Speaker 1:

You know.

Speaker 2:

I don't know if I said on this podcast before I was telling somebody, but when you do a podcast it's very much similar to leaving someone a voice message that you're never sure whether they got or not Exactly.

Speaker 1:

That's a great way to put it, and until they respond in some sort of way.

Speaker 2:

You're like well, did you get it, did you like?

Speaker 1:

it. Do you agree with?

Speaker 2:

it. You know, you don't know, and so comments are great. You know, you don't know, and so comments are great, you know, and reviews of the podcast are great because you get a little bit of feedback. But the best is being able to kind of be, even though we can't be face to face because people are all across the country. But being together, like on the zoom meetings for the coaching calls and things like that, that's been cool, just to see the faces.

Speaker 2:

you know cause sometimes you'll see the names and comments and then when you finally get to meet them, it's a really cool experience I agree, that was probably what I would say is my favorite. That's what your favorite is. What is your favorite? Put it in the comment section below and you can gain some extra entry points just for doing that. Well, thank you guys. So much for watching and listening, and we will see you next time. Thank you.