A listener writes in and asks, "In 2024, and moving forward, do you see the price of divorce rising with inflation?" Matthew Brickman answers your most frequently asked questions about divorce as he goes over several key points:
Assume nothing.
Know who you are before you get married.
Know who you're getting married to.
Know the laws and statutes in the state you live in.
Don't take advice from anyone who isn't a legal professional in the state in which you're getting married and living in.
Matthew Brickman is a Florida Supreme Court certified family and appellate mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively. But what makes him qualified to speak on the subject of conflict resolution is his own personal experience with divorce.
Download Matthew's book on iTunes for FREE: You're Not the Only One - The Agony of Divorce: The Joy of Peaceful Resolution
Matthew Brickman President iMediate Inc. Mediator 20836CFA iMediateInc.com
ABOUT MATTHEW BRICKMAN: Matthew Brickman is a Supreme Court of Florida certified county civil family mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively. He is also an appellate certified mediator who mediates a variety of small claims, civil, and family cases. Mr. Brickman recently graduated both the Harvard Business School Negotiation Mastery Program and the Negotiation Master Class at Harvard Law School.
A listener writes in and asks, "In 2024, and moving forward, do you see the price of divorce rising with inflation?" Matthew Brickman answers your most frequently asked questions about divorce as he goes over several key points:
Assume nothing.
Know who you are before you get married.
Know who you're getting married to.
Know the laws and statutes in the state you live in.
Don't take advice from anyone who isn't a legal professional in the state in which you're getting married and living in.
Matthew Brickman is a Florida Supreme Court certified family and appellate mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively. But what makes him qualified to speak on the subject of conflict resolution is his own personal experience with divorce.
Download Matthew's book on iTunes for FREE: You're Not the Only One - The Agony of Divorce: The Joy of Peaceful Resolution
Matthew Brickman President iMediate Inc. Mediator 20836CFA iMediateInc.com
ABOUT MATTHEW BRICKMAN: Matthew Brickman is a Supreme Court of Florida certified county civil family mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively. He is also an appellate certified mediator who mediates a variety of small claims, civil, and family cases. Mr. Brickman recently graduated both the Harvard Business School Negotiation Mastery Program and the Negotiation Master Class at Harvard Law School.
Mediate This! Podcast:
Hi, my name is Sydney Mitchell. Hi, I am Matthew Brickman, Florida Supreme Court mediator. Welcome to the Mediate This! Podcast where we discuss everything mediation and conflict resolution.
Matthew Brickman:
I recently received a question that asked in 2024, and moving forward, do you see the price of divorce rising with inflation? That's a great question. Um, so here's what I've seen , um, in the past two years. So 22, 23 , um, and you know, being that we are at the end of 23, moving into 24 , um, what I have seen is this, the cost to actually file for divorce with the clerk of court, that cost has not , uh, increased the cost of , uh, the court ordered parenting courses. I have seen certain , uh, providers raise their cost slightly by only a couple of dollars, but I have seen that , um, I have seen some attorneys raising their hourly rates. I, for one, have not raised my hourly rates. But is there an overall price increase in divorce? I would say yes. And here's why I say yes. As resources become more scarce and emotions become higher, people get ingrained in their positions. And all logic reason, rationale, morality is out the window. Um, I had a mediation recently where the attorney was giving the husband legal advice. I mean, looked up the statute, was reading the statute, and the other attorney was doing the same thing, looking at the statute, reading the statute. And of course, I had it pulled up and I was reading it as well. All three professionals, the two attorneys and myself were all reading the same exact statute, and we were all saying the same exact thing. But the husband actually said to his attorney, well , that's your opinion of the statute. Really? That's his opinion. No, it's the statute. We're reading the statute. That's not somebody's opinion. And his, you know , he's arguing with his own attorney who he's paying to give him legal advice. He doesn't like the advice that he's being given when actually it's not advice. He's just being told, okay, well this is what the law says. And the husband starts arguing, goes, well, that's your interpretation of the law when this isn't case law. This is statute. And so I see people getting more and more ridiculous in their positions, refusing to accept the laws. And so that causes an increase in the price for a divorce, regardless of inflation or not. That's just gonna cost more money. Um, as of July 1st, 2023, I actually thought that with the changes in the laws on time sharing , I thought that it would go from, I'm not giving you 50 50 or I I'm demanding 50 50 to, okay, well, the law now says there's a rebuttable presumption of 50 50 timesharing . Therefore, I thought that in mediation, we were no longer talking about if there's 50 50, but we would just be negotiating, which 50 50. Well, I couldn't be more wrong. In the month of July, I had 18 mediations, 16 of those mediations said, absolutely not. I am not doing 50 50. I don't care what the law says. I will let a judge tell me that I have to do it, but I'm not going to do it. To which the attorneys and myself said, go right ahead. You can do that. Just know that there's a rebuttable presumption of 50 50, which means that now the judge is looking at the 20 factors in the statute of best interest, and they have to make a specific written finding on all 20 factors. That's an expensive adventure, but that's your right. If you so choose two of those 18 actually said, oh, there's a new statute. Okay, well then, which 50 50 should we do? And they negotiated that quite simple. So just, I don't know if inflation has anything to do with it, or maybe that leads to the emotions being higher, which then leads to the positions being more ingrained and ridiculous. But does that overall cost more money? Yes, that is going to cost more money. And you know, some attorneys have put it to , uh, clients, and I've heard them many a times say, look, you can either put your kid through college, so save your money and put your kid through college, or pay me and I'll put my kid through college on your dime. And that really is what I'm seeing is I'm seeing a lot more people , um, just not settling. And I think a lot of it does have to do with the , you know, just levels of frustration are high, things are more expensive. So that just leads to more emotion and that leads to less , uh, negotiation, less willingness to settle. Um, I had a mediation recently where , um, we started and within the first five minutes, the father said, look, you know what? I'm not wasting time. I I do not wanna waste time. This is what I want. And if she says differently, well then we'll, we'll just go to court. And I'm like, okay. So I went to the other room and I said, okay, this is what he says. And she's like, okay, well, this is what I'm doing. I went back and said to the father, she said, no. And so he said, well, what about this? Well , what about that? Well, so we negotiated for four and a half hours, four and a half hours. We negotiated and drafted a 17 page parenting plan and a five page mediation agreement. And everybody, everybody was fine with it. It was like, okay, yep , yep . Okay. And of course, as a mediator, I tell everybody in the beginning of mediation and all throughout mediation, and even at the end of mediation, the only agreement I'll let you sign is one that you can live with. So the , the mother signs the agreement, the mother's attorney signs the agreement, the father's attorney signs the agreement, and then the father says, no , nevermind. I'll just let a court figure it out. Now, that just cost everybody a whole lot of money in mediation fees. They spent over a thousand dollars. Um , I don't know what collectively they spent in attorney's fees. I can only imagine , uh, 3, 6, 9. They probably spend about another thousand dollars each just on attorney's fees . So that little exercise of creating an agreement and then at the end saying, eh , nevermind, probably costs them around two and a half to maybe almost $3,000 each. And they still now have to prepare for a trial. Trials aren't cheap. So I would hope moving into 2024, that , um, emotions will subside, things will get better, people will become more reasonable. But I'm an eternal optimist. That's what I hope, that's what I pray for. But history is not showing that recent history is not showing that. And I anticipate that , um, with the cost of inflation , uh, I anticipate people are going to still be spending lots and lots of money on attorney's fees. Um , and that's just, you know, a shame because where should the money go? The money should go to the children. Uh, but if they want to put the attorney's kids through college, well then that would be their choice rather than their own. And that's what mediation is all about. Mediation is all about giving information so that the parties can make their own decision regarding their own life, and ultimately they're in charge to choose what they want for their particular family.
Speaker 2:
If you have a comment or question regarding anything that we discuss, email us at info@ichatmediation.com that's info@ichatmediation.com and stay tuned to hear your shout out and have your question answered here on the show.
Matthew Brickman:
For more information about my services or to schedule your mediation with me, either in person or using my iChat mediation virtual platform built by Cisco Communications, visit me online@imediating.com. Call me at (561) 262-9121 , toll free eight or mediation .
