Have you ever felt like the ground beneath your feet was crumbling, only to realize it was the prelude to your own metamorphosis? That's the voyage of self-discovery we're unpacking today, as I open up about my own 'Crisis of Brilliance.' It's not just another burnout story; it's a narrative of rebirth, where embracing my inner light meant overhauling my life's blueprint. We explore these seismic shifts, not as failures, but as gateways to profound growth and the surprising career pivot that led me to an even greater purpose. It's a heartfelt discussion that may just resonate with your own moments of upheaval, offering a beacon of hope and a reminder of your own untapped potential.
Join us as we trace the roots of success often buried in the dark soil of challenge, visualizing our way through the undergrowth towards the light. Drawing parallels with the natural world, we liken our growth to a seedling breaking through to the sunlight, our discussion peppered with insights into the emotional and spiritual support that nourish us along the way. Whether you're the trailblazer in your family or professional field, we underscore the importance of community during these transformative periods. Wrap up with us in a prayer for strength, and let's move through the darkness together, celebrating the brilliance that lies within each of us.
Have you ever felt like the ground beneath your feet was crumbling, only to realize it was the prelude to your own metamorphosis? That's the voyage of self-discovery we're unpacking today, as I open up about my own 'Crisis of Brilliance.' It's not just another burnout story; it's a narrative of rebirth, where embracing my inner light meant overhauling my life's blueprint. We explore these seismic shifts, not as failures, but as gateways to profound growth and the surprising career pivot that led me to an even greater purpose. It's a heartfelt discussion that may just resonate with your own moments of upheaval, offering a beacon of hope and a reminder of your own untapped potential.
Join us as we trace the roots of success often buried in the dark soil of challenge, visualizing our way through the undergrowth towards the light. Drawing parallels with the natural world, we liken our growth to a seedling breaking through to the sunlight, our discussion peppered with insights into the emotional and spiritual support that nourish us along the way. Whether you're the trailblazer in your family or professional field, we underscore the importance of community during these transformative periods. Wrap up with us in a prayer for strength, and let's move through the darkness together, celebrating the brilliance that lies within each of us.
Hey, hey, hey, friend, welcome back to another episode of the Disrupting Burnout podcast, where we are giving you the strategies for pouring out purpose without living through the consequences of the cycle of burnout. Friend, as you know, we are taking our time. We're taking our time, no matter how long it takes to walk through this book, disrupting Burnout. We're going section by section, chapter by chapter, because this is not a journey that you take alone, but we are walking through the heart work strategies together. So, friend, listen, grab your book. If you don't have one, run, run over to Amazon, order your book and, week by week, we're coming here to this space in our community where we can walk through the strategies, talk through the activities and disrupt these cycles of burnout. Friend, it is your turn. It is time to serve without drowning. It is time to show up but be able to breathe. It is time to walk in your brilliance without trying to be everybody's everything. Are you ready? Come on, friend, let's get started. All right, friend, welcome back.
Speaker 1:
We are into chapter two of Disrupting Burnout and this chapter is called A Crisis of Brilliance. I opened this chapter telling my story of burnout and many of you have heard me share that story. Some of you have heard me share that story so many times that you could repeat it yourself, but I will never stop telling that story because it is the foundation of how I even got to this space and how I learned and came up with the hard work strategies. But today, as we review chapter two, I don't want to tell you that story again. I want to share another point in time, when I experienced a crisis of brilliance, of brilliance. I want you to know that the pressure that you feel, the shaking that you feel, the feeling that everything that you used to depend on is now not available to you, or maybe the people or the resources that you used to lean on are no longer dependable, are no longer available that feeling of why is everything in an uproar right now? And what did I do to deserve this? How do I change it? How do I stop this? Because I don't like it. I'm here to let you know it's called a crisis of brilliance. You didn't do anything wrong. You're not being punished. This is not the rest of your life, but every now and then we come to a point where life starts shaking because brilliance is trying to come through and bringing that brilliance forward begins to rattle all of your belief systems. It begins to rattle all of your support systems. Your critical relationships start to shake All of a sudden. You're wondering what's stable and what's not, and I'm here to tell you that it's called a crisis of brilliance.
Speaker 1:
There was a time, after my rock bottom burnout experience I share with you all that I did go back to work, and I went back to work at a different institution, and I was there for two years. And I'll tell you this that was not the plan. When I went back to work in January 2020, first of all, who was supposed to call me and tell me girl, stay home, don't go to work right now, because we all about to go home. Like nobody, none of y'all called me. That's okay, that's all right. I learned very quickly. But when I went back to work in January 2020, edward and I knew that this burnout message was brewing. I think at that time, I had already no, I hadn't started the podcast yet but it was in my mind and so we knew at some point that I would give it a go to share this message. But I'll be honest, we named it five to 10 years Go back to work, get reestablished in my career, get reestablished financially five to 10 years, and then maybe we'll be in a place that we can give this thing a try and start sharing this message.
Speaker 1:
Well, friend, about a year and a half after I went back to work, I ran into another crisis of brilliance and let me tell you, everything started shaking again. Let me tell you everything started shaking again. All right, friend, I'm just popping in really quick because I need your help. Would you go over to Amazon right now and leave a quick review for Disrupting Burnout? You don't have to finish the whole book to leave a review, and it doesn't have to be long or fancy, just your honest take on the book. I know that there's some algorithm fairies out there. If you leave enough reviews, they will share this book with other readers who need it. So would you help me out? Would you help our friends out who haven't heard about Disrupting Burnout yet? Go over to Amazon and leave your honest review for Disrupting Burnout. I appreciate you. All right, let's get back to the episode.
Speaker 1:
So I was serving in a role where my team and I were responsible for students moving into our housing complexes, and if you work in higher ed, you know what I'm talking about. If you do not work in higher education move-in, week, move-in, weekend, whatever the span of time is, it is like our Super Bowl, okay, and I'm talking fall move-in. So when our students come back in January, it's not as big of a to-do, because most of them have left all of their, most of their stuff. They just bring their clothes or whatever they want to bring back from home. But August move-in, especially freshman move-in, freshman move-in is the Super Bowl friend, because not only are they bringing all of their stuff, every gift that they got for graduation, the TVs that are too big for the residence halls, all of their clothes, even though we tell them how small these rooms are they bring all the things and, in addition to helping them move and navigate, and the logistics of getting everybody moved in safely.
Speaker 1:
I work in Georgia and it's hot. It is normally hot, and if it's not hot it is raining. So moving is always an adventure, but I love it. I love it. And please don't forget the emotional parts the parents who are dropping their children off for the first time, students who may be away from their families for the first time, like all of the things are happening. Roommates meeting each other for the first time. Listen when I say Super Bowl, this is the Super Bowl. Okay, one of them. We have homecoming and other things, but move-in weekend is a big weekend and this particular move-in prior to move-in I began feeling some of the symptoms of a crisis of brilliance.
Speaker 1:
I began experiencing increased emotions. There were some things at work that were frustrating where before this time it was frustrating, but it is what it is, let's do it. But in this period of time, the frustration was increased. This period of time, the frustration was increased. There were meetings where I felt emotional to the point where I would need to turn my camera off or step away so that I could kind of get myself together and come back into the meeting. I began feeling pressure. I began feeling pressure and wondering okay, what is this? What's going on? I didn't feel burnt out, but I did feel pressure. I did feel like things were shaking and it didn't make sense, because our plan was five to 10 years and I was only about a year and a half, almost two years, in. So what is this? What is going on? How do I deal with what I'm walking through right now? I didn't really say anything, even to Edward. I just kept showing up and kept doing things and praying and just trying to figure out what was going on. I was working with my therapist and doing things that I know how to do.
Speaker 1:
Well, we got to that first day of freshmen move in and I think it was about six o'clock in the morning that I got there so that we could make sure all the balloons and the signs and everything was all set up and ready to go when folks arrived I pulled into my parking spot and I remember taking a deep breath and the flood of tears just came and I just wept and I knew in that moment, I just knew it in my heart. I knew it. I said this is my last freshman moving. I can't believe this is my last freshman moving. I had not discussed this with Edward, I had not even discussed it with my therapist, I didn't even know it. To say that, I didn't know what I was feeling, but in that moment I immediately identified it. I just knew. I said I think this is it, this is my last freshman move in, and I grieved in that moment. I just grieved because I love that job.
Speaker 1:
I loved the opportunity of welcoming our new students and consoling their parents and reassuring them and making sure all of the pieces work together so that they could have a smooth move in, and working with the team and the staff so that we had the energy and the volunteers and all the things that it takes to make such a massive project work. I loved it. I loved everything about it and I knew that it was coming to an end. It didn't make sense, it wasn't a plan. I just knew it. So I sat there and I allowed myself to cry. I allowed myself to cry and I got myself together and I went in and we did our thing and we had a phenomenal, successful move in that week for our students.
Speaker 1:
And after that moment, I just prayed and said God, what are you saying? What are you saying? What's going on? What do we need to do? And the pressure continued and I could feel and I knew that something was different with me. So I remember, I remember praying. I prayed a prayer and I said, god, I can't continue to do both. I cannot continue to serve in this way, with this pressure. I need to know where you want me to be If it's not time for me to leave. I need you to give me peace. I need you to give me wisdom and strategy to navigate this season so that I can serve well where I am. But if you are calling me to something else, if you are instructing me that it's time to move on, that it's time to go, I need you to be very clear and I'll trust you. I'll do whatever you tell me to do. I'll trust you, but I need to be clear. I need to know what you are saying to me, what you are saying to me. Well, it didn't take long. The very next day, the next day, do you hear me?
Speaker 1:
The next day, after praying that prayer to God, I got two calls. One call was someone that I'm familiar with, that I know that I've worked with in the past, and that person called me to ask if I would be willing to come and do some training for a team that she was currently working with. Then I got another call. I got a call from some professionals from the state of Texas asking me to be a keynote speaker for their annual conference. So just to let you know where I was, I was working full time as an associate vice president on campus, but I was speaking some. I was working with a third party agency to speak on their behalf. I had started the podcast, but it was very much a part-time not even part-time, just something I loved and did on the side kind of thing.
Speaker 1:
But those two calls when I got those two calls, first of all, I still don't know how the people from Texas know me. I still haven't figured out how they found me. When I asked the question, they said probably a speaker's bureau, and I'm like no, because I'm not associated with the speaker's bureau and I've never been associated with the speaker's bureau. So that part is still a mystery. But those two calls were all of the confirmation that I needed, not only because it was confirmation that doing this work could supply what my family needed and I know that God is the source, but he'll allow us resources. So it showed me that doing this work, the speaking work, could be a resource that provided for my family. But it was also. I couldn't explain it. I didn't make it happen, I didn't pitch myself, I didn't ask anybody for a reference, I didn't ask anybody to speak my name. It came to me one day after I asked the Lord to be clear with me and that was it. I knew. I knew it was time to transition again. Even though it was not according to my timeline, even though it was not the plan that I had discussed with my husband or the plan that we had in our head, I knew it was time.
Speaker 1:
I want you to know that the crisis of brilliance that you're feeling, the increased emotions, maybe some frustration, the loneliness, the confusion, the pressure, I want you to know that the crisis of brilliance that you're in is not here to take you out. It's not here to punish you. It's not here to make you feel horrible, not here to make you feel horrible. It is literally the feeling of brilliance pushing forward, trying to come to the surface and pushing away every belief, idea, standard memory that will hold you back. I see a picture of a new plant that is working its way through the soil.
Speaker 1:
When you plant a seed in fertile soil for a long time, it looks like nothing is happening. If you're just looking on the surface, it looks like nothing is happening. You know the seed is in there because you put it in there and you've been watering it, but you don't see anything happening. And it's not like you can dig up the seed every day to check its progress. That's not how it works. You have to trust. You have to trust that the germination process is happening as it should and if you continue to take care of that seed, to expose it to the light, to water it, before you know it, you're going to start seeing evidence of it. Something green is going to poke up above the soil eventually.
Speaker 1:
But, friend, have you ever thought about the journey that it takes for that little seedling to break through the packed soil? A seedling is fragile, it's like an infant, it's like a newborn baby, and it has to push its way through the soil to get to the surface, to really start growing. By the time you see the seedling on top of the soil, I'm here to tell you there's a whole root system that's already grown. But you can't see that part. Let me tell you something about where you are right now. There's a whole root system that has established itself, a root system of brilliance that has established itself in you and in your heart, and it's been growing for years. It didn't start when you got the degree. It didn't start when you got the degree. It didn't start when you got the fancy job. It didn't start when you got the promotion. But this root system has been growing for years and now, because the roots are strong, now because the roots can take in nutrients and take it to the seedling, you're starting to feel the vibrations of the seedling pushing itself through the soil to come to the surface.
Speaker 1:
Your brilliance is breaking its way through and when brilliance breaks through there's a shaking. When brilliance breaks through, there is disruption and disorder where the soil was packed neatly and the surface was even. When that seedling comes through, it's moving soil out of its way so that it can get to the light. Friend, hear me, hear me. There's brilliance on the inside of you and that brilliance is breaking forth.
Speaker 1:
And as your brilliance comes forth, it feels uncomfortable, like the final stages of a woman in labor. You feel the ache, you feel the pain, you feel the ache, you feel the pain, you feel the shaking, you feel the nerves. You feel the nerves. You're anxious, not just because you don't know what's going on, but there's something in your heart that knows something big is coming. You don't know what it is, you can't put your finger on it, but something in your heart is telling you something big is coming and it is causing you to feel vulnerable. It is causing you to feel emotional, it is causing you to feel uncomfortable and I'm here to tell you don't run away from the process. You don't have to escape. You don't have to escape, you don't have to run. You can allow your brilliance to come forth and know that things are going to settle and you'll be able to see what was moving in you and moving through you as it comes through the surface. It's so important to have community as brilliance is coming forward.
Speaker 1:
In chapter two we talk about a crisis of brilliance and what that is, but I also talk about the price of going first. I meet so many professional people, not just women, but so many professional people who are the first in their family or the first in their community, or the first with a certain accolade or a certain degree or a certain acknowledgement accomplishment degree or a certain acknowledgement accomplishment. I want you to know that there's a cost for going first. If you are the first to go, you're you are really breaking through the wilderness to cut a road for folks who are coming behind you and because of the work that you have to do to create a path, it's exhausting, it's tiring, it's confusing. You don't have a blueprint, you don't have an example to follow. You're figuring it out as you go, friend. You're figuring it out as you go and that can be overwhelming.
Speaker 1:
I remember asking one of my professional mentors a long time ago. I remember asking why is it so hard? Mentors, a long time ago I remember asking why is it so hard? And I was referring to my professional path why is it so difficult? And she told me that just what I'm telling you right now, when you are the one to cut the road through the wilderness so others can follow safety safely, it's going to be hard. Going first will always cost you more. I need to tell you that so you won't feel like it's punishment, so you won't feel like you're doing something wrong, so you won't question your path. I need you to acknowledge that if you are first, you are bearing the cost of being first, but you don't have to do that alone. You can go first amongst the community who understands you. Surround yourself with people a therapist, a coach, a community. Surround yourself with people who can support you, understand you, celebrate you and challenge you as you are moving towards brilliance. It's critically important. It's critically important that you have the right folks around you in this transformational time of your life.
Speaker 1:
At the end of chapter two, on page 33, I wrote a prayer for you and in this moment I would love to read that prayer and share it with you. It says Father, I come to you on behalf of my sister who is spiraling in a crisis of brilliance. Make your presence known to her at this moment. Remind her that you are with her and have never left. Allow her to physically feel the tangible presence of your spirit with her in this moment. Change her perspective and allow her to see this season of life from your eyes. Help her see how this shaking is working for her and not against her, is working for her and not against her. Allow the shaking to release the hold of every idea, thought, memory and belief system that has held her captive. Replace those misaligned thoughts with your thoughts about her. Convince her in a miraculous way that she is not alone. Convince her in a miraculous way that she is not alone. Hold her close at this moment and walk her into true freedom. I know you will, because you did it for me. All of these petitions, I ask and declare in the matchless name of Jesus Christ Amen.
Speaker 1:
Friend, it's time to do the hard work. At the end of chapter two, I lead you through a visualization activity that will allow you to begin to see the light on the other side of your crisis of brilliance. I encourage you to grab your book or access the audio book, which is even better because you don't have to read as you go. You can access the audio book by upgrading your subscription here for $10. But I want you to walk through this visualization activity for yourself and I want you to do the heart work of moving through the dark place to begin to see the light of where you're headed.
Speaker 1:
Friend, it's worth it. Hear me when I say what you're walking through right now is for you, it's not against you, and you've got to start seeing yourself on the other side of it. You'll never get there if you don't see it first, and this activity will help you do that. All right. So go grab that activity at the end of chapter two and let me know how it's impacting you. Friend, as always, I want you to know that you are powerful, you are significant and you are loved. Love always, oh, and don't forget you're brilliant. Love always, pbj.