Soft Skills, now Power Skills Transform Anxiety into Leadership Strength

🔍 Discover the neurology-based power skills that transform anxiety into leadership strength!

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Key Takeaways 📍
🧠 Human Power Skills: Transform soft skills into measurable performance enhancers with neurology insights.

🤝 Community Importance: Managing anxiety effectively requires a supportive network.

🗣️ Communication Mastery: Effective communication is both a cognitive and experiential skill.

🏋️ Mental Fitness: Regular mental exercises are essential for well-being.

Michael Anderson, a professional coach and consultant with expertise in team building, mental fitness, and communication. Michael began his career as a soldier in the Army National Guard and also toured the world in bands, including a Chinese pop band. With a growing family, Michael stopped touring and began training musicians to communicate effectively and survive on the road. Today, he teaches communication and leadership skills all over the world. 

Resources & Links 📚 for listeners:

• PowerBank Exercise for identifying positive relationships: AndersonLR.com
• YouTube Channel: Chinese pop band

#Leadership #MentalFitness #CommunicationSkills #AnxietyManagement #HumanPowerSkills #Podcast #SelfCare #CommunitySupport

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Transcript

Thanks to advances in neurology, soft skills are becoming hard skills that we can think of now as human power skills. Hello, I'm Chester Elton and this is my co-author and dear friend, Adrian Gostick. Well, thanks, Chester. Yeah, our guest today is a communication and leadership expert who works with people around the world to help them overcome anxiety. He's gonna talk to us about the neurology-based ways we can put these power skills to work in our lives. As always, we hope the time you spend with us will help reduce the stigma of anxiety at work and in your personal life. And speaking about anxiety at work and helping you with your mental health, I have a ritual that I have. This is a wonderful product, it's called Magic Mind. It's the world's first mental performance shot. It's a little bottle of nutrient, it's all natural. It's really wonderful. If you're looking for that, pick me up on Monday mornings. That's when I like to use it. It's not addictive, it's all natural. And I tell you, you can get all kinds of great benefits because you're listening to our podcast. For example, go to their website and you put in Gostik and Elton 20. It gets you up to a 48% discount. You can get the packages of 15 little bottles or 30 little bottles. Use it as you need it. When you need that pick-me-up, when you need to be in that flow, go to magicmind.com forward slash Gostik and Elton. Put in Gostik and Elton 20 and I promise you it'll make you more productive. It calms your anxieties, and like again it's that first mental performance shot. I know you'll love it. I use it all the time. I'm a huge fan. With this is our new friend Michael Anderson. He's a professional coach and consultant with expertise in leadership, team-building, mental fitness, and communication. Now Michael began his career as a soldier in the Army National Guard and also spent time touring the world in various bands, including my favorite, a Chinese pop band. We'll have to get video of that someday. Well, with a growing family, Michael stopped touring and began training fellow musicians to communicate effectively, survive on the road, and grow as leaders. Today he teaches communication and leadership skills to people all over the world. So welcome to the show, Michael. We're delighted to have you on the podcast. Thanks for finding the time. Pleasure. Thank you. Michael, like us, you do a lot of work with people to help them overcome their anxiety. We know you work with leaders, athletes, volunteers, soldiers. What do you consider to be the most important foundation to overcome anxiety? Start us with with some foundational understandings here. Oh wow, great. It feels like you're asking me to summarize hundreds of books and years of research in one sentence. No pressure there. You got a minute. You got a minute. Okay, so it's a fair question. I think that the most important foundation to overcome anxiety is to keep us alive, plain and simple. Therefore, our brain is much more interested in identifying threats than non-threats. As a result, we all experience varying degrees of anxiety throughout our life. So having anxiety in common with other people means there's nothing wrong with us and we're not alone. And yeah, for some people, anxiety can be debilitating and for others, it's a nuisance. So first and foremost, know that you're not alone. You're just a human trying to survive and anxiety is a normal part of survival. That's what I think is a foundational truth or launching pad to managing anxiety. So that not being alone is so really important, right? So often people that are living with anxiety, they want to hold up, pull back, they don't want to interact with other people at work. You say though that community and working with others is really important. Help us understand that part of dealing with anxiety. Yeah. It's not only me saying it. We have decades now of research from multiple disciplines and empirical evidence that say the same thing. Chester, it's interesting that you use the word understand. I think the word understand has two components to it. The first component is cognitive or intellectual, and the second component is experiential. The cognitive part is knowing intellectually that our brains are uniquely and specifically built for relationships. Physically, psychologically, neurologically, even theologically, if you want to go down that path, we are hardwired for human connection, for relationships. This is why solitary confinement is a punishment. This is why babies die when they do not have adequate human interaction, even though all their physical needs are met. I know you're familiar with failure to thrive, right? And I'm not surprised that adults who have all of their physical needs met but lack caring relationships, they suffer greatly and are much more likely to die at an earlier age than adults who are in caring and loving relationships. So that's the cognitive part of that answer. We're all built for relationships. It's undeniable. The experiential part of understanding that is can only come from practice and relationships. Only when we experience acceptance, encouragement, grace, and forgiveness, and caring and loving relationships with others, will we begin to really understand that to fight anxiety in the absence of community is like bringing a knife to a nuclear war, let alone a gunfight. So for example, we all work in the same arena, mental fitness, communication, leadership, leadership and much of what goes into those things. In all candor, you guys are much more successful businessmen than I am. You've got a lot more going on. So being a guest here today is more than a privilege for me. It's a big deal. So when I found out I was going to be on your podcast, the first thing I did was reach out to some friends who I know are for me. They get me. They tell me the truth about me, the good and the bad. And I told them, Hey, I've got this exciting opportunity. I want it to go well. And I'm also ironically having some anxiety about it. So I immediately had four people reply in our group meet chat who identified with my anxiety. They validated that, yeah, it makes sense that you would experience a lot of emotion around this. And they also validated me as a communicator and someone who has helped them and many others find insights about themselves and experience growth. So that helped me to stay regulated and it made my own personal mental fitness practices more effective. So understanding is cognitive and experiential, especially in relationships. Yeah, I want to drill down a little bit more on that experiential, the relationship piece. Friendship is such a key element, right, that I've got a best friend. You've got this little network that you reach out to that says, hey, I've got this opportunity. I'm kind of nervous about it. Let's go on. I remember years ago, I was having a really rough day, actually a really rough week, and I put out to a dozen of my friends, hey, I'm losing confidence. I'm getting a little anxious about this. Text me something nice about me. Yes, excellent. Right? And one of my friends said, nice, you're the best, you're the emperor, all these different things. You're Spartacus was the one thing he said. I kept that email. I love that. Talk about having that friendship, having that network, how important that is, because I agree with you on that. Oh, thanks. Yeah. Like I said, we have to be in relationship with other people. That's just the way we're made. Now, it's one thing, you know, Chester, you mentioned Spartacus. It's one thing if you, like the drummer in the movie, that thing you do. If you say, I am Spartacus, that validates that. See, and that is how we form our foundational beliefs about who we are. It's all part of our relationships in the community that we live in. So it's absolutely vital that we have those relationships that are for us, because it cuts both ways. If I say I'm a loser and somebody validates that, well now my identity starts being I'm a loser. We had Bob Waldinger of Harvard on who did the big happiness study. This is what he was saying. Everything you're talking about, Michael, is like we need each other. Sometimes we don't realize how much, but to have a happy life, a long life, that's where it all begins. So let's, kind of in this relationship sphere, let's move to leadership. Now you say leaders need to stop thinking about soft skills and move to more power skills. So walk us through this idea, and I mean it's not just a change in vernacular, it's a change in how we think about these fundamental skills that will make us better leaders? Yeah, I love that question. A lot of what we're talking about, you're right. Anxiety, mental fitness, emotional intelligence, empathy, these are all historically referred to as soft skills. Hard skills would be things like math and the physical sciences that we can measure empirically and see. Now there is already ample anecdotal as well as ethnographic research that validate the effectiveness of empathy, listening, encouragement, even celebration, but it's so difficult to quantify those things. With advances in urology and neural imaging, we can measure and see the effects of those types of interactions. We're gaining more and more empirical evidence to validate human-centric leadership. So these advances in neuroimaging, we see neural circuitry and brain activity based on listening, empathy, grace, and so forth, which is to say we have empirical observable evidence. So we can see in real time what's happening in an interaction inside someone's brain. When people are getting stressed out, they feel threatened. They think their teammates are going to reject them, ridicule them, etc. Their brain is flooded with chemicals that actually make their performance go down. This has a lot to do and we see this a lot with athletes, musicians, other people who, let's say, choke under pressure, right? But if I know my leader and teammates are for me, they will support me and accept me no matter what, I will be able to perform at my highest level. It doesn't guarantee that I will be successful per se, only that I will be at peak performance. And the role of a leader is to motivate people to accomplish a task. So these soft skills, as it were, are now becoming measurable and we see that it actually empowers people it is powering people to deliver their best performance Interesting, you know You're hitting on a lot of points that we've looked at that research as well, but I have to tell you Ethnographic research is the first time we've heard that expression I used it twice this morning already I mean, come on. Anyway, listen, Michael, this is really great. Where can people learn more about you and begin the neuro change, as you call it? And over above that, where can they find a video of you performing in a Chinese pop band? That's really, I think, what people are going to be most interested in. I don't know that I have that video up, but they can see some pictures of that on my YouTube channel. But boy, that's going back a few years. You know, I picked up the phrase neuro change from a friend and mentor of mine, Scott Makin, who started the Makin Institute for Neuro Change. Scott and his colleagues are very dialed in to the latest research in this field. I would definitely check them out online. But if you want to see more about what I'm doing, and thank you, I hope you do, I would say go to my website. It's for my business, Anderson Leadership Resources. The website though is andersonlr.com. Anderson letter, letter R, or let me do that again. Anderson letter L, letter R.com. I have free resources there that you can avail yourselves of, as well as lots of different programs to take advantage of also. Well, talk about communication, Michael, because this is your expertise, this is where you started. Often, we all know that we fall short in communicating with others. Whenever Chester and I go out and do a speech, typically the main thing they'll say is, look, we suck at communication. We don't communicate up, down, bottom, side to side. This is something we need to work on. So help us out, whether we're suffering, we're neurodivergent, we're suffering from anxiety in our lives, whatever we're feeling, give us a couple of communication skills that you teach the people that you work with, maybe just to push us and to help us today. Yeah, sure. Thanks. And honestly, yeah, you're right. That's kind of where I got started. I find the subject of communication to be truly fascinating as it covers so many different disciplines of study, and yet it's so common to all of us. It's so complex. There's so much going on with every interaction. So we could talk about personal communication, public speaking, organizational communication. Like I said, they're all so different, but there's one thing they all have in common. And this is, to me, what makes communication so marvelous, wonderful, and fascinating. All of our communication is part of an ongoing negotiation of identity. Now, when I came across that idea while working on my master's degree. I knew it would be the research for my thesis. So not necessarily a skill, but remember understanding and skills are built on cognitive understanding. Understand that all of your communication is part of an ongoing negotiation of identity. From the clothes you wear, the car you drive, the words you speak, and the way you speak them, they are all sending messages, not just about your topic, but about your self-concept, your identity. So when you get into a public speaking arena, I think this is what really locks people up. I really believe that on a subconscious level people understand this. They know that, oh, when I get up there on stage, I'm going to get judged. People are going to make assumptions about me and we have no control over that, which is why people would rather die than be on stage. So while it's true, our identity is formed in community. I like to say there's no me without a we. Our identity doesn't have to be controlled by the audience. So on stage, understand that, yeah, not everybody's gonna dig you. Not everybody is going to enjoy your presentation. And getting ready for this podcast, I thought, you know what, some people are gonna listen to me and think, yeah, no, not interested. Other people are gonna think, hey, that guy's making some points, and some people will hopefully save it to their favorites. Who knows? It's always going to happen. So again, it just normalizes things. So as I'm training people for public speaking, I try to get them to wrap their heads around the idea that first of all, most of the people in the audience would rather be dead than standing where you are. So they're glad you're up there and really they want you to succeed, believe it or not. Go out there knowing that some people aren't going to like you and be okay with that because you've got, we talked about this earlier, right? Your community, your friends, the people who say you are Spartacus. Keep them in the back of your mind and go out there and be the most interesting version of yourself that you can be. I think that is foundational to successful communication. And that goes interpersonally, organizational communication, it's all about your identity or in the case of organizational communication, the identity of the organization. Excellent. You know, we're always really interested in self-care practices of successful people, right? Sure. Can you walk us through some of the things that you do that you found that personally help? And it's interesting because, you know, not only are you an author and a speaker, but you are in the military, right? Yes. And you are on stage as a performer. So over all those experiences, what are some of the things that you found are foundational for you to tamp down your anxiety and keep yourself in a good place? Yeah, great. I think first and foremost, again, it's having a strong community, a strong network. I know I sound like a broken record, but it is that important. It's that significant. But I, look, my dad was a YMCA executive and so I look at my life as spirit, mind, and body. And so I try to take care of those three elements on a daily basis. So I start my day with with some sort of mental fitness exercise as best I can. And throughout the day, as I time block, and I'm switching between time blocks, taking a 15 minute or 30 minute break, I'll make sure that I get in some mental fitness exercises along the way. And I'll reach out to friends and just say, how are you doing, I think you're great, whatever. I'm encouraging them, they're encouraging me. And I also tend to my body as best as I can. I was a couple months ago, I was in an accident, I was rear ended while on a motorcycle ride. So you want to talk about a lot of loss, everything I loved was gone. I couldn't work out, I could barely move. And once my shoulder gets healed from this surgery, I have knee surgery, which is two months of not moving again. So I used to and I still do try to get in 30 minutes of exercise about five times a week whether that's aerobic or anaerobic. And then spiritually, I make sure that I or I try certainly try to journal journal every day and reflect on my life and be thoughtful in that way. So, I really do try to approach things holistically in that regard. I will say for our audience, if you aren't celebrating, you're really cutting yourself short. And that's something I don't do well, honestly. So what I've started doing is when things go well, I go to Goodwill or jump on eBay, go to a garage sale, and I find old records. I clean them up and I listen loud. Good for you, a vinyl man. Yes, I am a vinyl man. That's great. I'm so glad you're well after some long recovery here, but we're glad you're with us, Michael, and you're able to share your wisdom with us today. I'm sure it makes you appreciate what you do have after something like that. Indeed. Well, thanks, Michael. This has been just a delight. We were thrilled to have you on the podcast today to learn from you. Hopefully, everybody checks out your website and learns more about your great work. But again, thank you for joining us today. We wish you the best of luck as you continue to help people around the world. Thanks, Mike. Thank you very much, Adrian Anchester. It's been a pleasure. Well, Chester, that was just great to listen to and learn from Michael Anderson, an expert in anxiety, leadership and communication. I'm curious what you took away. Give me some of your thoughts. Well, I love that he first came out and said that we are built for relationships. Surround yourself with good people. He talked about getting ready for our podcast and putting it out to his network. And hey, what can I do? That confidence that you are not alone, that you've got a community around you, that we're built for relationships was my first big takeaway. Yeah. And he said, look, too, we're also built for anxiety. It keeps us safe. The human mind, the smarter you are, the more you're going to have anxiety. Don't think you're alone with that either. It's normal. And then he moved on to this idea of power skills, which we've been using a lot too. And it's such a better way of thinking about leadership. That we are not just being soft by being compassionate and motivating people and getting people's hearts into the business. We really are exhibiting the power of leadership. Yeah, power skills. I love that repositioning. You know, this is important. You're in relationships. You've got a community. Back to community, though, he did say one thing that really stuck with me. He says, you know, this is why solitary confinement is a punishment, because often when we get anxious, we want to pull away and be off by ourselves. It's kind of like self-punishment. And that really stuck with me. I said, yeah, why would you punish yourself when you really need your community more than ever? And then he talked about communication skills. And I know that resonates with both you and I about how he prepared that words matter and that communication skills are more than just, you know, the words, although really important, it's how you present yourself, how you feel about what you're doing, how you look at the audience and how you interpret, how people will perceive you. Really interesting. Well, and what he called it was negotiation of identity. From the time we are kids to growing up, it's you think, well, just be yourself. Well, who am I? People think. And I love this. Look, the clothes you wear, the car you drive, all of it is sending messages the way you speak. You speak fast, you speak slow. There's so much that we are negotiating as we present ourselves. And people with anxiety, this is a big deal. And what he's saying is really important. Not everybody's gonna dig ya, and it's okay. I mean, how often do you and I do this? We go out and we give a presentation. 300 people there, there's 287 who say I loved him. There's 11 who say, eh, it's okay. And there's one or two people who go, I hate him. And who do we focus in on? Yeah, haters. You know, like Taylor says, haters are going to hate. I did like, too, his spirit, mind, body ritual, particularly after this motorcycle accident. He said, look, I work out as much as I can and I know I've got surgeries coming. It's just really important for me to engage my body, engage my mind, be curious, keep building that up. And then the spirit part, the meditation and feed those. He did that YMCA, that's the spirit mind body triangle that you see at the YMCA. So how are you taking care of yourself? That's really important and that's what works for him and find out what works for you, right? Exactly. Well, we want to thank Michael for joining us today. We want to thank our producer who fulfills all of our spirit, mind, body needs. Brent Klein is amazing and puts all this together for us. We want to thank Christy Lawrence who helps find amazing guests like Michael and of course, all of you who listened in if you like the podcast, please share it let others know about it We'd also love you to visit the culture works.com where you can get some free resources and you can find out more about our best-selling book anxiety at work and amazing new training The anxiety at work resilience training which will help you and your team really Be able to manage any uncertainties that come your way. Right, Chris? Yeah, it's really interesting too. And when I need a mental performance shot, I go to Christy Lawrence and Brent Klein. I mean, you know, Magic Mind, Brent Klein, and Christy Lawrence, I mean, that's the trifecta for me. But don't forget to pick up our book, right? Go to Amazon, it's available on Audible. We do read our books, which is great fun. Lit Video Books has it there, and of course, anywhere fine books are sold. We love speaking to audiences around the world, whether it's in person or virtual, on topics of culture, teamwork, resilience. Give us a call. We'd love to speak at your event. Adrian, as always, you have it. Thanks, everybody, for joining us. Until next The last word.