My 100 Lb Weight Loss Journey with Ren Shelley

In this empowering episode Andrea delves into the remarkable journey of Ren Shelley, a DFH coach and elite personal trainer, who shares her inspiring story of overcoming childhood struggles with weight to achieve a monumental 100-pound weight loss. This episode is not just about weight loss; it's about Ren’s transformative journey towards self-love, understanding nutrition beyond diet myths, and embracing the power of consistency and resilience. Through her story, listeners will discover the importance of setting realistic goals, the pitfalls of extreme dieting, and the power of small, sustainable changes. Join Andrea and Ren for an episode filled with practical tips, heartfelt advice, and the motivation to embark on your own journey of self-discovery and wellness

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Brynn, I'm super excited to finally have you on the podcast. Obviously you are a DFH coach, like you help coach some of our clients, but your story is fascinating. Like it's amazing. So can you tell me a little bit why you got into fitness, what you're doing previously, and just kind of tell us your story.

So I, I do have my certificate in personal training. I'm an elite personal trainer. And so with that comes with, you know, a couple extra. Certifications like nutrition and bodybuilding and just some other things that I was really interested in. My story starts back, honestly, as a kid. That's where the root of it starts is, is the struggles that I faced with growing up with my own body and trying to figure it out.

So as a kid, um, I was always the chubby one. I'm the youngest of five kids and everybody in my family is like lean and mean and fighting machines. And I [00:01:00] came along and was like, This chubby ball of sunshine that loved to eat and always struggled with my weight. Um, just, and, and hype. I was a short and stocky one.

That's just how I came in. And um, it was something that I always thought was a negative thing until I got older. I appreciate my body type so much more now because of what. It is and what it can provide me. But as a young kid, I didn't understand that, which is sad. And I always compared myself to my siblings, like my sister, who's just like tall and lengthy and I could never fit into her, her long legged pants.

I can never share clothes with her because she was tall and super lean and I was short and really, really chubby legs. So, and so at a young age, I remember thinking like, something's wrong with me. Like, I, something. Something's broken in some way, shape or form. And I didn't understand it, but I always just thought it was because I was a little bit overweight.

So it was around that age, like around nine or [00:02:00] 10 that I was put on my first diet. Like in the nineties, everything was about fat free, like fat free. Everything was like the way to go. And that's how I live my life. Like it had fat. It was like big X on it. Can't have that. And the doctors were, even the doctors were like, stay away from eggs.

Stay, you know, you can only have egg whites. Stay away from. Any red meats, um, only like lean chicken and that like as a little kid, I was, I was conscientious of that as a little kid thinking like fat was bad dressings, fat free dressings. Like that is how I live my life. So the sad thing is during any like diet phase, Something is shamed and all of a sudden it's like the demon and it's like, that's not actually totally not real health.

That's not real nutrition. You can't just take an entire food group or macronutrient or whatever and be like, never again. Like it just, it won't, it won't work. Exactly. It was more so that I felt like I was always trying to lose weight so that I could look like everybody else. I felt like I was just [00:03:00] this close to spilling over.

I was always trying to eat as little as possible and then. Um, but then I would be binging on the weekends. I just could not keep up with the way I was doing it. I would try to stick to like a thousand to twelve hundred calories throughout the week. And then on the weekends, it was like, all I could think about was food and I would binge.

I would eat everything in sight and then I would guilt myself and feel really bad that I did that. And then starting Monday, okay, new diet starts and I'm going to be really strict again. And that literally continued on. All through junior high, all through high school, I always packed my own lunch. I never ate food in the cafeteria, um, but I was a competitive swimmer.

Like I was an athlete, but I was always trying to diet, which now looking back, I'm like, dang, I could have just fueled my body and been probably even a better swimmer. Cause I was pretty good. Like not to. blow myself up, but I was a pretty decent [00:04:00] swimmer. Um, but I was always trying to eat like a thousand calories.

Like, how is that even possible? You know? So no, that's not going to help a competitive swimmer at all. That's not, that's not the answer, but the problem is that's what you thought. You know what I mean? You thought like, Oh, I can still swim and I can eat less. And it didn't click in your mind, like performance and food or friends, you know?

No, I didn't. Food was always the enemy. It was always the reason why I was struggling. So later on, I get married, you know, out of high school, get married. Um, and that way that I was eating of just this, you know, under eating, binging that cycle, it really caught up to me because. When I got pregnant, it was even more of a free for all.

So my first two pregnancies, I gained a whole bunch of weight. It was just a whole bunch of yo yoing, gaining, losing a little bit. The third baby, the third pregnancy that I had, I still gained a bunch of weight. Um, but with that delivery, it [00:05:00] just turned out to be in a crazy event and I actually ended up having my baby in the backseat of my car.

And that's nuts. First of all, I cannot even imagine. It was crazy, but there was something so powerful in that moment that made me realize that I could do Anything after that? I felt so powerful That it was like I knew that I could accomplish a big goal. I knew after having her I really was going to work on Losing weight the right way going about it the way that Was going to stick forever and like quit with us all like this yo yo dieting, losing the weight, gaining it forever.

I just wanted to like finally figure it out. And so that led me to doing a whole bunch of research and, um, I just inside felt like I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I was, I had the power within me to do. I just had a baby, the vaccine, my car, you know, you're like, if I can have a baby, I, if I can have a baby in a car.

I can do this the right way. [00:06:00] Yes. And so that's kind of how that started. Like that power within me, there was kind of like this aha moment. That's it. I'm sitting out. I'm going to lose a hundred pounds this time. I knew it had to be different because I was not going to go back to like slashing my calories and barely eating and then binging.

And I just wanted to get off of that hamster wheel, that cycle that was. I knew in the long term wasn't going to get me anywhere. I knew I had to change something. So I was on a journey to figure out like how I was going to figure this out for good. Like that's what I wanted to do. Yeah. You wanted to do it the right way instead of the extreme way.

Yeah. Exactly. The slow and steady way. I'm like, okay, how do I do this? And doing research and watching YouTube videos. And so I came across this formula that was like, okay, you want to lose weight. You're going to figure your goal body weight times 12. That's how many calories you should eat a day. And I remember being like, what?

Okay, so I tried it and [00:07:00] At first I wasn't gonna pick my ultimate goal weight. It was like, let's see. Let's let's pick 200 first I want to get to 200 pounds. So 200 times 12. That was how many calories I was gonna eat which is smarter than your goal weight because That's really right. You know what I mean?

Not really low but low from where you are. So that would have been under eating again Yes, and so I knew that I had to pick like an initial I had multiple goal weights, right? But I knew I was in this for the long the long haul and not the like quick fix this time Yeah, so I started at 200 so 200 times 12 It was whatever and I I was tracking and I my calories were higher than they've ever been and I'm like is this gonna work?

like There's no way, because I was eating like, I don't know, 19, 200, 2000, maybe a little bit more than 2000 calories a day, which I thought was like, impossible to do to lose weight. Totally. I was going to say in your brain, you're like, that's so much food. But now, now, obviously, you know, you're like, now I know.

I know. Very [00:08:00] normal. Now I'm like, that's like minimum we should be having that like maintenance minimum for me now. But at that time that was like an astronomical high number of my 2000 calories. But I was nursing. So I'm like, great. This will help my milk supply. We'll see. Let's just see. So when I first started, there was a few things I had to wrap my brain around.

I was like, okay. I'm going to focus on being consistent because where have I fallen off like, you know, the wagon before is I would be like 100 percent all in solid for, you know, a week, two weeks, maybe even a month, but then I would fall off and stay off. So this time I'm like, my goal is not going to be to be perfect at this.

I know I'm going to make mistakes. I know I'm going to fall off, but I'm just going to get right back on and keep going. I knew that I wanted to love my way through this journey, like love my way to my next body that I was trying to build and not hate my way because in the past I had done a lot of like shaming when I had fallen off the [00:09:00] wagon, when I would go to Dairy Queen and get two blizzards.

I don't know. I'm not saying I actually did that. I did. I did do that. I did do that actually. Yeah, but then afterwards. It's because you're under eating and then afterwards you shame yourself and think, Oh, I'm the problem. Not recognizing it's like, you know, it's not you. It's actually the diet. That's the problem.

It's not you at all. But I love that you pointed out like I did it, I did it the way that I was mean to myself the whole way. I was not going to be mean to myself this time. And that, that like was a switch. That was like a light bulb is, was all of a sudden accepting myself. And I remember reading somewhere.

Hey, at the end of the day, ask yourself, could you do a little bit better tomorrow? Like how is today? Could you do a little bit better tomorrow? And so I'd ask myself, okay, how was today? Ah, I went over by like 300 calories. Okay. Can you do better tomorrow? Well, yeah. Okay. No big deal. Moving on. Yeah. [00:10:00] Yes.

That's all it took. And that's all I did. And it was like, that's all, that's all I have to do. I don't have to be like, you suck. You, you went over your calories. No. I like, I, it was almost freedom to drop that like guilt and shame and be part of, part of myself. It was like, Hey, can you do better? Okay, then do better.

That's it. And it was like, okay. It was so amazing to kind of switch my mindset to a lot more forgiving and having more grace On myself because i'm human and we're all human And this was a big task and I knew that if I really wanted to achieve it I would carry all that hate and shame through it If I didn't fix that first and I didn't want to get to my goal body weight, whatever that number was.

And then all of a sudden be like, I still don't like myself. Like I wanted to love myself through it. And I have be kind to myself. That does happen to a lot of people where they will get into fitness and they'll get to, I mean, weight aside, they'll get to a situation where they. Like [00:11:00] they're, you know, where they're at and they still hate themselves because all along the way they were mean to themselves and they never learned to love themselves.

It doesn't really matter what, that's also I think a misconception people have is they assume like, Oh, if you're in shape, you love yourself. I know plenty of people who are in shape who do not love themselves, who they are mean to themselves and they are brutal. So your body doesn't really matter. You don't have to have a great body to love yourself and you just because you have a great body doesn't mean you're going to love yourself.

It goes both ways. Like they don't go hand in hand. I've seen it so many times. Which is a misconception. Yes, it's a misconception. And so I was starting to realize that and it was like, okay, let's work on loving yourself every phase. It doesn't matter where you're at. Like just practice loving yourself, positive affirmations, you know, thanking your body for what it's doing.

You know, done for you and how you've been able to grow these humans. And so I just kind of changed my brain work a little bit. Like let's [00:12:00] celebrate the fact that your body's hung with you through the ups and downs and all this stuff. And that, that totally helped me, um, just have a better mindset. It kept the positive momentum going through, through my journey.

And you weren't even extreme. Like you said, said before you were slashing to like a thousand or twelve hundred or whatever and you weren't doing that. You were like, okay, we're going to do it in a moderate way and I'm going to be nice along the way. And there was parts of me that was scared going about it this like super slow turtle, like, you know, slow, slow approach because You know, anybody who wants to lose weight wants to lose it yesterday, you know, and so it took a lot of patience and understanding like, okay, you know, what if you hit a plateau?

Then we're going to figure it out and we're going to, you know, if we have to make adjustments, we will. So there was a period of time where like, you know, you want to quit sometimes or you'll be like, is this worth it? But. Um, I would have moments like that when I would hit some [00:13:00] plateaus along the way. So to help me through my journey, I was focusing, um, 10 pounds at a time.

It helped me to have little mini goals along the way rather than you have to lose 100 pounds or you have to lose 50 pounds, you know, or, or to have that mindset of every 10 pounds I'm going to. Go celebrate in some way. So I picked, um, 10 pound increments to focus on. And for whatever reason, that helped me a lot just to keep.

Um, to keep me in the game instead of being like, Oh gosh, I'm never going to get there, you know? So every time I actually totally see why that would help because so many people look at the long term and they don't take the steps. A 10 pound is a step, a step, step, step. You had a hundred, you know, a hundred pounds to lose.

10 pounds is just one step instead of just saying 100 pounds. So then when you only lose 1 pound or 2 pound, or you only see a couple inches or whatever, you don't feel bad because you're like, Oh, [00:14:00] well, this is this step. And then we'll go to the next step. And then we'll go to the next step. You know? Yes.

Yeah. And every pound, you know. That, that I lost was like, you know, okay, well that's, that's getting a little bit closer to that 10 pound mark. So it kind of helped me stay focused. Um, and, and I would plan to have, you know, little victories along the way, like celebrating either I'd buy a new piece of clothing, I'd go get new makeup.

I would, whatever, something that just kind of helped me stay in the game, new pair of pants. And that, that was like super helpful. Um, but yes, there were moments where I was like, ah, like this is hard. I had one time. Um, where a month went by. So four weeks, I weighed myself every day. Um, and some people don't like doing that, but I was also going to, I wanted to win this power struggle, this emotional struggle with the scale that I had growing up.

And I didn't want that. number to have an emotional effect on me anymore. Oh, so you did the opposite. I don't mean to interrupt you. So a lot of people [00:15:00] weigh every day to control it. And you said, no, I actually want it to have zero control. So I'm going to weigh every day because it won't matter that it changes every day because I will no longer be Because a lot of people, sometimes, you know, sometimes we tell people, throw your scale away if it's bugging you.

And you just went about it the other way saying, no, I'm going to weigh every day so it no longer bugs me. So it's just a number. Somebody, I don't remember who I heard say this, but they were like, use it as, it's just data. Like, take the emotion out of it. You weigh yourself every day. That's just one more marking of, of little dots you have on this graph.

And so if you have, you know, if you have one at the beginning of the week and one at the end, well, it's kind of hard to see in between the week, all of these, you know, what's going on with your body. What it helped me do is. Take the emotion out of it and look at it as piece of data and it also helped me learn my own body's patterns I was able to start predicting when I was going to have a spike or when I was gonna have a lower drop and [00:16:00] no And not freak out when it spiked up because I knew I had started to follow like, Oh, okay.

Like I could see what my body's doing around my period. I knew, Oh, it's going to be up or I'm ovulating the, the scales up usually three to five pounds for me. And I wouldn't have known that if I didn't track every single day. So it didn't stress you out anymore. It didn't stress me out anymore. It was just a number.

I punched it in and I forgot about it. It was a way of disconnecting from the scale. By giving it no power, by doing it every day and recognizing those swings. Cause you know, and I know we, we see people where they swing and it's very dramatic for them and it's hard on them and you don't want that for people.

Yeah. And I totally get how some people like in, you know, are in the mindset where it's just such an emotional thing. I just didn't. And I still catch myself being like, Oh crap. Like, you know, we went out last night and I went off or, you know, I ate all this stuff, but it just helps me see, well, let's just see, what does your body do?

Like, I'm curious, it's kind of having that [00:17:00] curious mindset instead of like an emotion like I'm a failure. It was like, let's just see what happens, you know? And then I was staying consistent. Eventually it would come back down and up and down, up and down until finally it got back down. But taking the emotion out of it, um, huge, huge game changer for me.

That helped a lot. Um, but yes, I did have a month in time where the scale didn't budge. So I'm on, you know, I'm in a calorie deficit, I've kind of plateaued. And for a solid month, the scale stayed the exact same number. And I remember being like, is this freaking worth it? Like what's going on? You have those moments along your journey where you're like.

Am I doing this right? I don't know. I'm trying, you know, I'm trying to say, am I being consistent? Am I tracking accurately? There's those moments that come along the way that you're, that, you know, you naturally ask yourself those questions and I think they're good. I think they help you really look inward to go, are you tracking accurate?

Are you, are you tracking everything? Like you're tracking, you're in that [00:18:00] mindset, but are you actually tracking everything that's been going into your mouth? Oh, okay. Maybe not. Okay. I could clean that up. And so. So many learning curves and so many learning moments along that journey that just helped me so much.

So I finally, um, Got down to a weight that I was like, I'm feeling pretty good at this number of what I was I think anticipating me to be like, this is where I want to sit. But then I looked at myself in the mirror and was like, I just kind of look skinny fat. All I had done for what, 11 months? was tracked my calories again.

That wasn't as extreme. And every time I got to my goal weight, I readjusted those numbers. The goal body weight times 12. Into a new deficit and all the way down till I got to where I was kind of wanting to be. But when I got there and I would look at myself in the mirror, I'm like, this is not yet what I wanna look like.

And not in an unhealthy way. It was like, I wanna look [00:19:00] muscular and I don't, I, I wanna look like I've got, you know, like I work out. And so I was, I was ready to take the next step. I think what's really important on your journey is like meeting yourself where you were at. At the beginning of my journey, all I could do was track calories and that was it.

You couldn't think about anything else. You just picked one thing and you went for that and that was okay. Yes, that was okay for me right at the time because that's all I could handle at that time. I had a newborn baby That's all I could focus on while my sister at the other time like she was eating protein and tracking this and I'm like Oh my gosh, if I did that, I think I would die.

I think it was just I had to meet myself knowing What I was capable, capable of doing at that time and sticking with and being consistent with what I could master. And that was it for me. So tracking calories. That's good advice for everybody. That's really good advice for everyone to meet yourself where you are and figure out what you can do and be okay with what you can do and stop looking around what everyone else [00:20:00] is doing.

Just be yourself where you are. That and stop looking at your old self, what you used to be able to do at a certain point in time, because that's not where you are right now. And it's almost like you have to start at grand zero. What can I do right now? Choose that thing that you can stick to and then stick to it and be consistent with it for me I follow the KISS rule K I S S.

Keep it keep it simple stupid Stupid. I mean, I'm trying to be nice to myself, but that was like the rule that I don't know. I felt like I heard that on the office. Yep. That's what it is. That is what it is. Don't overcomplicate it. Just pick one simple thing you can do. And that's for anyone, no matter where you are.

Maybe someone else's is drinking water. Maybe someone else's is, okay, I'm going to go on a walk every day. Maybe someone else's is I'm going to try lifting weights for X amount of days. Keep it simple. Keep it simple. Stupid. Don't make it complicated and just go. Yes. And that helped me so much is just keeping it simple and then focusing on consistency over everything else.

Like every year, um, while I was losing weight or like just that, [00:21:00] at that starting point, my mantra for the year, my word for the year was. Consistency, and I, I held onto that word at the forefront of my brain and just thought every time I'm going through something, I'm just, that word's going to pop back up.

I'm going to think consistency. And every year since then, I followed that where I'm going to pick like a new word. What's like, you know, maybe I'm going to focus on, uh, competence. Or, you know, just picking a word that's going to help you, and it can help you through anything that you're going through in life, but that, that helped me so much.

I don't know why. That just really, really helped me. It, it came up so many times in my life. Picking one word to just Focus on for the year. So um, I was only tracking, but I was able, I mastered that and I felt really good there. So I started walking and you know, I had three little kids so I could walk around the neighborhood and I was doing just what I could at the time.

So I was walking and if I didn't get a walk in that day, no big deal. That was just a cherry on [00:22:00] top. If I could walk, you know, like it wasn't an expectation I had of myself. Beat yourself up. You just did your best. I didn't beat myself up. If I did it was like, hey, way to go. If you didn't, hey, it's okay. Do it when you can or do it another time.

Um, and so I got to a point where I'm like, okay, I, I feel like I'm ready to take the next step. And I had a friend who was working out at a fit body, you know, group fitness class, fit body bootcamp. And she said, come on in. Come and join. They're doing like a challenge right now where you can, you know, join up.

So I did that and fell in love with this like group fitness kind of hit mixed with, you know, adding some weights here and there. And it was only 30 minute classes. I had never done anything like that before. All throughout my marriage, I had never, you know, worked out at a gym. So this was a huge commitment for me.

And so I was like ready to take that next step. So I did, I started going to the gym and I fell in love with it. These short 30 minute workouts was so attainable. I could do it. [00:23:00] I set, um, a certain time every day that I was going to go to these classes and that helped me. It was like, it was like I booked an appointment with myself every day, 8 a.

m. I was at that class and I knew nothing else got in the way because that was my time. And I was at the point in my life too, where I'm like, mom needs something to get her out of the house. Mom needs to escape for a minute. Yeah. I think we all have. This is my therapy. I know any mom listening to this understands that where they.

I needed to get out away. It gave me 30 minutes and it was like therapy. When I love that you chose a realistic, it wasn't like, Hey, now I'm going to start at the gym and I'm going to start with two hours. You were like 30 minutes, I'm going to set an appointment and I'm going to show up for my 30 minute appointment.

And that was it. And that was it. And I'm like, I can do this. And so I stuck with it. I did it for a year and I'm like, that was awesome. It, it created a lot of, I mean, the first day I went there, I couldn't do a single sit up. I couldn't do a [00:24:00] single crunch. My, my core was like, I don't know, it was hanging by a thread.

There was nothing, no muscle. There was nothing. It was destroyed. So, you know, it took me a lot of time and patience again with myself, self love, you know, looking kind of like a fool, but it was like, who cares? Let's just. This is i'm not comparing myself to anybody else I'm going to look at anybody to inspire me, but i'm not going to use that to be harder on myself And so a lot of self love through that journey so then About a year into it.

I'm like, okay. I was doing more research and I was like What, what am I going to do next? What's going to be the next thing? Because I was starting to look more how I wanted to. You're putting on muscle. I wanted to put on muscle. It's funny because at the beginning of my journey, all I cared about was being skinny.

All I cared about was looking as thin, I didn't care if I was a rail, like I, I just wanted to look as skinny as possible. That's what, that was where my mindset was at first. [00:25:00] And then you go through it and then you start putting on muscle and you're working out all, now I'm like, I want to look as freaking ripped as I can.

I want to look chiseled and not like skinny, like, you know, I want to look muscular. Like I could walk on stage the next day. That's that's how it transformed. Okay. It started off as let's get super skinny. Yeah. That's funny. But your mindset changed. And it almost when you say like, let's put on muscle, that becomes almost a skill.

Like it. You know what I mean? That becomes hard work. So it almost became into like, let's get powerful. Let's add muscle. Like, it's going to make me strong. It's going to make me functional. It's going to make me, you know what I mean? Feel good. You know, like, let's do some work and add muscle. So that's probably partly a shift from your positivity of like, Working, working on being kind to yourself, where then it's not always about less and less and less, but like, let's be buffer.

Exactly. I think with the classes, I was starting to feel stronger, and there was a new sense of confidence that comes with being [00:26:00] strong, that no number on the scale could compete with anymore. It was like my mindset had shifted, where the number on the scale was like, Okay, but I'm like, I got another freaking pull up and that was awesome.

Like that is so true. There is nothing that feeling strong. No number on the scale. I love you said that no number on the scale. Can make you feel as good as fitting in another push up, another pull up, putting a little bit more weight on your bar, picking up a heavier dumbbell. Like, you feel powerful. And that's what people miss when they're always trying to be skinny, skinny, skinny, or like smaller, smaller, smaller.

And they're hyper focused on the scale that they don't even understand the power and ability. The power that ability gives you. Yeah, it wasn't until starting to like, you know, my body body was slowly starting to change I was putting a little bit of muscle on that. I realized putting on muscle is freaking hard like and and you know You hear people like I don't want to get bulky or I don't want to get too big, you know, you're like Good luck.

It's freaking hard to put on muscle. [00:27:00] Like try it. You know, there's, you're not going to get bulky. And I used to have that mindset. I used to think, Oh, I don't want to like, I don't want to get like Husky. I don't want to be called Helga. You know, I want to still stay lean, but I'm like, Oh my gosh, to do that, I would have to be in such a surplus of calories.

I'd have to be lifting anyway. So, um, It was around that time, a year mark that I'm like, I think I need to start a lifting program from all the research I was doing and where I was headed and where I was wanting to head. I felt like I needed to get a little bit more into the strength training. Following a program where I was doing the same lifts week after week from the research that I was, you know, I was following bodybuilders.

I was following these people who compete on, you know, YouTube videos and everything was kind of pointing me in the direction of Lifting weights consistently now with the classes I was doing. Yes I was picking up weights here and there but it was you know The workouts were changing up and it was exciting and it was fun [00:28:00] And I think I just realized that and I still loved it But in order to achieve what I was after I, I had to kind of hone in on lifting and following a program that was going to The focus more on lifting.

It was just a more, it just focused more on lifting rather than a mix of lifting and cardio, which is just fine. I still do cardio. I know you still, we still do, but you wanted to separate them and, and focus on lifting. Yes. And I just was, I was in that mindset of building muscle, like you said, and, and in order to do that, it's like I had to, you know, add more weight week after week.

But anyway, that was a. But that was out of my comfort zone. I didn't know what I was doing. Um, I was doing a lot of reading and research, um, and it was around that same time that I was, I was ready to leave fit body to start that and going to, um, you know, big box kind of gym. And, but I didn't know what I was doing.

And at the same time, fit [00:29:00] body was like, you want to become a coach? And I'm like, okay. And so they're like, sweet, go become a personal trainer. Like, go get your certificate. And I'm like, okay. And I didn't really know what I was doing. So, um, I did research and I was trying to find programs that were going to, I hadn't, I just had no idea what I was doing.

And it was the beginning of a new year. And so I'm like, all right, what's my mantra for this year? What is it going to be? I'm gonna get out of my comfort zone. I'm gonna push myself out of my comfort zone this year because I knew I had just come off of this like huge weight loss journey I was feeling good with my weight loss But i'm like everything I was reading was like you gotta reverse and i'm like, what's that mean?

What is that? What's a reverse? They're like, you gotta reverse and get up to maintenance. I'm like, who said what? I don't know what that is. And so I was doing research on like reverse diets and, and maintenance and how to calculate your maintenance. And reverse dieting for any listeners just means that she had to increase her food [00:30:00] intake because she was in a cut for so long that your body adapts.

And so you have to go back up to maintenance and you can really put on some beautiful muscle when you're in maintenance. And it's harder to put on muscle when you're in a cut, especially when it's long term. Oh, I couldn't anymore. I had, I had been in a cut for so long. You'll hit a wall. You can't be in a cut that well, like we talk about it all the time.

We know cuts are short term. Everyone listening cuts are short term. Don't forget that. But yeah, so you realize that, you know, I realized that I was tired. I wasn't, you know, I wasn't sleeping good. I was. I was starving all the time, so I knew something had to change, but it was again, I'm, I've gotten to a point where I'm like.

I'm ready for the next challenge. So that meant I was going to go to the gym and start lifting but my nutrition had, I had to tweak that too. So I started practicing what this whole reverse thing was, slowly increasing my calories to figure out what my maintenance was. And that was so out of my comfort [00:31:00] zone.

It was scary because in my mind, eating more is probably going to equal, am I going to gain this weight back? Like, even though I knew it wasn't, I was still scared of trusting that process. It doesn't mean that years and years and years of people telling you more food means weight gain doesn't sometimes affect you.

Even if you know that, you know, when we work with clients, we can explain it sometimes until we're blue in the face. But sometimes that thought process, it just sinks in and people cannot kick it out. It's hard. It's hard. It was hard for me. I'm like, and every time the scale would go up, like I had lost.

That's that like emotional pull. But when this scale started going up, uh, I was eating more. I'm like, uh, I'm ready to diet again. I, I was in that same spot where I was so scared to trust the process, but I knew also not to give up quickly. I knew that I, in order to really see like the fruits of what I was after, I had to give it like a shot.

And so I was [00:32:00] slowly increasing my food. And remember like, you know, when you eat more food, there's physically more. It's normal for the scale to, but it doesn't mean I was gaining fat. I wasn't. I was eating more food, but my body started changing and it was at this time where I was just tracking protein and calories.

Did I say that I added protein? I didn't. I had just tracked calories. I was ready to, I was ready because after all my research, it was like, you got enough protein. I'm like, how much protein do I eat? And everything was like your body weight in grams of protein. So I'm like, done. I can do that. I can track my calories.

I can track my protein. I've mastered that I can track my calories. It's time to add that on. So all I did was track my calories and track my protein and I was lifting at the gym. I let my carbs and fats fall wherever they were going to fall. I wasn't even looking at them. As long as I hit my protein and I was hitting my calories, then nothing else mattered.

I was golden. [00:33:00] And once I started really tracking my protein, My body was like transforming like it was changing My muscles like were shaping out and i'm like what the heck like this is insane and Now I'm like preaching protein everybody like it is the key Protein and people are like that's too much protein.

I'm like Protein, that's where it's at. So I feel like I'm the protein queen because everything is about protein So that's where I was at lifting tracking calories tracking protein Figuring out what to do in the gym because I knew I needed to be consistent with it And so I did that for about a year. I found a program And something I could stay consistent with.

And I started logging my, my lifts at the gym. That way I could track to see if I was lifting heavier and. Over time, my body started getting stronger, and I was building muscle, and it was [00:34:00] just, um, crazy to, to look back to where I started and where I was, you know, currently, of going. I'm so glad I met myself where I was at.

Like, it's been a long journey, but I think some people try to pile on maybe too much when they're starting their journey. I'm going to, you know, I'm going to do this or I'm going to completely cut out sugar and then I'm going to run 12 miles every day and then I'm going to do this and then do this and they're only able to do it for just a short time before they're like, forget this.

I just, I'm just not made for this, you know? And I'm like, I've been, I get that. Ease your way into it, start off simple, um, keep it simple, and once you've like mastered one thing, just slowly add on another thing. Take the timeline, you know, out of it, like erase the timeline. Quit saying I'm going to lose X amount of pounds by an X amount of date, you know.

Take that out. Just do it until you get there. And so it was a total transformation of my mindset from the beginning [00:35:00] to, you know, where I am now, and where. You know, then I've mastered tracking protein, mastered tracking calories, and now I'm like, okay, let's fine tune this all. Let's add in the carbs and fats.

Let's adjust those. And so now I track all my macros, which at the beginning, you wouldn't, you wouldn't catch me dead saying that I track all my macros. That was too scary for me. Again, you know, it's like I had to work my way. Up to that point and you know, some people do some people can dive right in tracking their macros and I'm like, God bless because I couldn't do that.

I definitely had to meet myself in a really just, you know, take those baby steps to get there and tracking macros, as you know, isn't even for everyone, but I love that. Sometimes. It's just you add it on slowly like I'm going to do this and I'm going to walk and I'm going to do group fitness and I'm going to lift and same thing I'm going to be aware of my calories and I'm going to be aware of my protein and I'm going to be aware of all of them where it was like slow tiny steps and that was your route which some people may not take that exact route but pointing out like You didn't [00:36:00] do it all at once and it stopped being a race.

Like you said, I wasn't all of a sudden like, I'm gonna lose X by X date. There was no more race. It was just a journey. This is just my life and this is my lifestyle that I'm building and there's no, there's no end date. You know what I mean? It was just like, this is now me. This is me day in and day out, not like me until I get to this weight on June 6th.

Exactly. And then after that, like you just kind of like go back to what you're doing before, you know what I mean? Yeah. Because there was an end date. But you're saying there's no end date. This is just me trying to be healthier and trying to like figure out what I want for me and my life and my build and my family and all of those things.

Yeah. So being at the gym and lifting, I've had people come up to me time and time where they're like, Oh my gosh, like your body, you look so strong and I'm like, you guys, Ren, you can't see her. She's ripped. She, she's, she's coached with us for a couple months now and she, her transformation is beyond incredible.

Like [00:37:00] it is incredible to lose a hundred pounds and then to be like ripped. Like we tease her that she's like the whole staff teaser. She's like this. Beautiful Greek goddess with all these muscles. I only, I was only bringing, I wasn't fishing for compliments. I only brought that up. I know you weren't. I brought it up because, because it's true.

But when people still, still you catch yourself, like sometimes when you've gone through a big transformation. You forget, like sometimes I feel like I'm still that person who weighed 255 pounds. Like I don't, you know, you've, sometimes you look in the mirror and you're like, I don't have, I changed. Like you have those moments.

And the other days I'm like, see, I'm like, I look good. You know, you have those moments where you just don't know. Um, then you have people come up to you in the gym and I'm like, only if you knew like where I was before or the transformation I've gone through. And it's still shocking. Sometimes people come out to me and will give me a compliment or whatever.

And I'm like, who are you talking to? Like, you're [00:38:00] not talking to me. Like, it's still shocking to me sometimes that people, like, even have the, you know, the guts to come up and say something. So I appreciate that because it has been a lot of hard work and I, and now I'm like, I just want to send that message out to anybody who feels like they're stuck or like in a rut to go.

Like, I can do it too because I felt like for such a long time, okay, maybe I can lose like the same, you know, 30 pounds and gain it back, but literally if I could do it, anybody could do it. Like, just kind of going back when I first started tracking my calories, it wasn't healthy food. I didn't start eating chicken and, and broccoli.

I was eating Mike and Ike's. I was eating ice cream every day. I was eating, you know, it was a slow transformation. Now I eat lots of cottage cheese and chicken and stuff now, but at the beginning. Yeah, but you didn't start, you didn't start perfect. And it would [00:39:00] be so easy for someone to come up to you now and be like, Oh, she's just, she's always been like this.

Oh, it's so easy for her to eat chicken and rice all the day. No. You don't eat chicken and rice all day. I know, I know. But like it's easy to look, it's even easy to look at someone and compare and someone could see you now and be like, Oh, she's so lucky. Like she comes to the gym and she just like puts on muscle when they'd have no idea your backstory, which is also why there is no point to compare to people in different chapters of their fitness journey.

If someone knew your chapter one, it's very different than your chapter 20, you know, but you're looking at someone's chapter 20 and you're like, Oh, they're so lucky. Or it's easy for them. Or it's all genetics or whatever. I mean, there's different factors. Obviously, I'm not, I'm not downplaying those factors, but I did that same thing to like, must be nice just to have this nice body all the time.

And, and who knows what they used to look like, or maybe [00:40:00] genetically. It was easier for them to put on muscle, I don't know. And maybe it was, but either way, there's plenty of people that like, you just don't see their pre chapters. You're not looking at that, you know? Don't compare your day one to somebody else's day, you know, a million.

You just, you just stay focused, keep your eyes in your lane and meet yourself where you're at. Stay consistent, love yourself through the journey. Those are all the things that helped me because honestly, my day one was Uh, yeah, it was the number of the calories was all that mattered than the actual nutrients of the food.

And I still, still to this day, McDonald's 200 calories ice cream cone, I still get them to this day. They have really good ice cream cones. They really do. So is that if you were going to give anyone any piece of advice, is that what it would be to just slow steps? Like what would you tell them? Yes. Meet yourself where you're at.

Love yourself along the way and just know like you are powerful. You don't have to [00:41:00] have a baby in the backseat of your car to like realize your power. But women all over, it doesn't matter if you've achieved great things or not yet. Every woman is powerful and is capable of just doing freaking incredible things, and I wish I had more of that realization, um, earlier, you know, I, I've gone through my own experiences to get there, but yeah, just to kind of everybody to accept that they're powerful in their own way and, and, and be curious and learn how they can, Uh, learn that about themselves.

And yeah, if I can do it, anybody could do it. All I did that maybe most people don't do is I really work, worked on being consistent. Um, and, and I will tell you, I have binged and gone off the edge in the deep end and you know, would tell my husband to pick up burgers on his way. I've done that so many times.

So I know the process is not about being perfect. It's about being consistent. And yeah, I [00:42:00] think that would be. My biggest, my biggest takeaway from that, my biggest message to send out to everybody. That's perfect. I think it is helpful for anyone whether you're talking about a fitness journey, a relationship, a skill you're trying to build, finances, whatever.

Like if you could be more consistent and even as you were consistent you pointed out that you researched along the way. That's the other thing I think is important that sometimes we just like. Listen to Sally at the park, and she may not know. So do research. If you have a goal, like you had some goals and you did research and then you would adjust and you'd add on and then you would do research and then you would adjust and you'd add on, you know.

That made me think of one more thing really fast. Um, whenever I would diet, quote unquote diet before. I had to have somebody doing my, a buddy. I had to have my husband, Andrew. I come, let's like, let's go on a weight loss challenge or my cousin or my sister in law or whatever. Let's, you know, let's try to lose weight.

Or, you know, my mom or dad, it was when I had my third [00:43:00] baby that I'm like, I'm doing this on my own, whether anybody's in it with me. And that too was a huge piece. I feel like of success because I wasn't going to fall off the wagon because, you know, Joe Schmo was falling off the wagon. It was like, it was up to me.

And, you know, sometimes that made it harder. I was the only one in my family to, that I, you know, I was really working on being in it. And at the beginning, like whatever I was feeding my, you know, the kids, I was also eating but tracking and that slowly evolved to making more, you know, macro friendly meals and stuff.

And sometimes my food looks a little bit different than everybody else's, but at the beginning it was all the same. And so I, you know, that, that helped me is just. You know, I, I had to kind of figure out a way to make it fit within my mom life. Um, but not depend on anybody else to do it. It was up to me and I wasn't going to make the excuse of like, well, they fell off the wagon, I thought, no, it was up to me.

So if I didn't succeed, like. I couldn't blame anybody that helped you. That's a good point. I think about that too. Wren, thank you so much for coming [00:44:00] on and just telling your story because I think it's such a good one and how you just slowly took those steps, step, step, step, step, step, to climb your mountains and what you wanted because I do think we often just see chapter 20 and I love that you said, no, no, I started at chapter one and I built and built and built.

Negative. I was ground zero. I was, yeah. I was underground. I was in the introduction. The chapters hadn't started. Yeah. I was still in like the cover. I was like not even picking up the book yet. Seriously, thank you for being here. Yes, my pleasure. It was awesome. Thank you. I truly hope that you picked up some really solid nuggets of information that Wren was laying down when she talked about kiss, keeping it simple, consistency, loving yourself in each step, not focusing on being extreme.

I feel like those are all really important keys. Even after the episode, her and I sat on the phone and chatted for a little while and we are saying how people can [00:45:00] truly. Reach any goal they have, as long as they're consistent, they're kind to themselves along the way, because I think negativity is really hard on people mentally and it makes them give up.

So you have to be kind to yourself and love yourself and positive along the way and taking tiny steps. I honestly believe, and I know Wren does because we chatted about it. That those three things can be a game changer, no matter what you're trying to do. And we truly don't have to overcomplicate things.

We don't have to do it perfect from the beginning. And I hope you know that. And the beautiful thing about Wren is she does relate to our clients in a different way because she has had that experience. And when she speaks to them, she speaks from her heart. And I hope that you saw her heart in this episode of how much she does love fitness and she does care.

And it did start really simple and she just built and built and built. You can find Wren on social media, her handle is at Wren, R E N, underscore fit, underscore Shelly, that's S H E L L E Y. [00:46:00] I'll add that in the show notes. Alright, that's it for today. I truly hope this episode, along with all of my episodes, helps you know you don't have to be perfect.

You are doing so much better than you think you are already. Just keep going. We'll chat next [00:47:00] week.